As I finished a run with the MapMyFitness app (which I wrongly recorded as walk), I was delighted to see that I wasn’t far away from my next nicotine hit.

Thank God for the innovative advertising brains of the tobacco industry. I don’t really want to be healthy anyway.

Every now and then you look ahead as you are walking down the sidewalk and you see a large puddle covering the path.

Is it too deep to walk through? Should you go around? If you walk through, will your shoes be wet for hours?

Here’s to the puddle-size-estimation based decisions we all have to make from time to time.

On an errand walk and drive recently, I stopped into Target to pick up a few items. While shopping, I realized a need to use the washroom.

As I was washing my hands before leaving the restroom I glanced at the sign on the mirror.

Sure, sure, the new workplace is all about team, cohesiveness and a communal spirit. But what I immediately started wondering is whether guys like J.J. Watts and Julius Peppers have to wash their hands before returning to the field.

In case you can’t read the bumper sticker on the back of the maroon car in the picture above, it reads “My other car is made of meat“.

I’m not entirely sure what that means, but it was definitely a bit odd and certainly stuck in my mind for the rest of the day. Hence, it’s now on chickenmonkeydog. Make of it what you will.

I spotted this sign outside a lab at a natural history museum. What do you think this naming opportunity should be?

P.S. Histology is the study of how our bodies look at the microscopic level.

I am no vegetarian – I’d simply miss bacon too much – and I love a good piece of biltong.

Biltong is a cured meat made in South Africa – kind of like beef jerky but more awesome (note the hint of bias right there).

Still, I’m not convinced that adding a picture of the animal I’m about to eat is a great packaging concept – Bambi flashbacks can ruin a good snack.

My plane touches down on the tarmac, taxis to the gate, and parks.

A man turns on the microphone to make an announcement to the rest of the crew:

“Prepare the plane for arrival and cross check.”

While it’s easy enough to imagine a reasonable meaning for this phrase, I enjoyed a few minutes chuckle as I thought about what it would be like if the crew of my plane was busily bracing the plane to get struck by another plane using the hockey stick to make contact.

And then I go back to being glad that my plane is not about to be cross-checked like that.

You know, actually running errands really isn’t very easy.

You get sweaty.

You can’t carry very much.

Everything you do carry bounces jarringly with every step.

Your natural gait is thrown off.

People serving you at various emporiums wonder why you are drenched in sweat.

Nobody wants to stand next to you in line.

Yep, through and through I don’t see many advantages to running errands.

I think I am going back to walking or driving errands from now on.

Paper or plastic?

Answer: Plastic

That’s a trick to learn! Make a silent movie…by talking to Chrome.

Well played Mr. Google!

Thanks to Jai, from Pennsylvania, for contributing the content for this post. Remember to snap a pic and share quirky finds with the ChickenMonkeyDog community!