Nik has been fearing snakes since forever. We used to tease her last time by throwing some tali sambil menjerit

“Nik, ularrrrr!”

 

And she will screamed and be so angry at us sampai merajuk bergaduh bagai.

 

And now, not only she has to take picture with this beautiful creature, she also has to put it around her neck. And the picture will be posted on this blog hehe.

Zasya twitted the other day how she squirmed sampai tertanggal tudung dalam kereta on the way home bila mengingatkan yang ular itu akan melingkar di lehernya.

Imagine Nik, the slimey and scaley body melingkar on your neck while it makes the hissing sound.

 

So you better lose that 5 kg by end the end of the month

Or elseeeeeeeeeeee

 

HEHEHE!

Kadang-kadang kami balik malam, bila kereta sampai dan kami keluar cengerik-cengkerik itulah yang akan menyambut dan sayup-sayup terbau sisa-sisa asap dari sampah yang arwah datuk bakar masa petang tadi.

Kalau aku menoleh kebelakang, akan nampak cahaya-cahaya suram dari rumah berdekatan tapi untuk ke sana agak menakutkan kerana jalannya gelap, mungkin terlanggar kayu atau kaki kebasahan akibat becak.

 

Aku suka suasana itu, kerana aku tahu arwah datuk pasti tersenyum dengan barisan gigi yang kebanyakkannya sudah tidak ada bila melihat kami datang. Bersarungkan kain pelikat dia akan bercekak pinggang sebelah kiri sambil bersandar di ambang pintu.

Arwah mak su, mak mi dan arwah mak jai pun seronok sebab ada mangsa untuk mereka sakat. Kalau emak izikan, aku akan tidur bersama mereka, bertilamkan tilam kekabu dan selimut berbenang nipis.

Sebelum tidur, pasti ubat nyamuk berlingkar hijau akan dinyalakan, baunya menusuk satu bilik. Tapi hati-hati jangan sampai terpijak.

 

Arwah mak jai pandai bergaya, bila pagi tiba aku mesti akan tertunggu-tunggu dia bersiap untuk melihat baju dan dandanan apa yang akan di pakai untuk ke pejabat. Aku selalu berangan, kalau aku besar nanti, aku pun inginkan anting-anting dan baju-baju cantik seperti arwah mak jai.

 

Malam di situ memang indah, walaupun tak ada apa. Kadang-kadang aku teman arwah datuk menonton rancangan kegemarannya, Hikayat Hang Setia, terkekeh-kekeh arwah datuk gelak, aku sengih-sengih saja sebab tak faham. Kemudian aku akan sama-sama mendengar pilihan bersama dengan arwah maksu di radio.

 

Kecintaan aku dengan rock kapak memang bermula dari pengaruh arwah maksu. Aku, aie dan arwah maksu akan sama-sama menghafal lirik lagu yang kami dengar. Entah untuk apa pun aku tak tahu tapi yang pasti aktiviti itu amat menyeronokkan.

Sebelum tidur, kami akan minum air dulu dan kemudian ke tandas. Sejuk benar rasa bila tapak kaki mencecah simen dapur, apa lagi bila masuk ke bilik air.

 

Zaman yang serba ringkas tapi cukup indah.

 

 

Ah malam dingin, engkau membuat aku rindu!

I thought I would really go pancit, I did pancit-ed but not as bad as I expected. It was different though, sebab halfway mumies terpaksa keluar padang menenangkan anak masing-masing. Hahaha

It was fun!

 

 

And how I missed playing, not that aku Gerrard ke apa [WTF?] but I do enjoy the game and playing with the right people is one more thing.

Dulu masa study, dalam 2-4 kali jugalaklah we played and I didn’t remember feeling tired. And there was time when we played campur with the guys, selalunya diorang kasi canla hehehe. Apa nak buat aku insan yang lemah, hanya mampu berserahhh.

 

 

Diorang ni walaupun dah jadi emak but still can do, still boleh rembat.

Di sebabkan sexcited akan main once or twice a month, I went and buy a pair of futsal boots.

Tapi kena pakai saiz kanak-kanak because my size tak available for adults. Sadddd but the good thing is, kids shoes are cheaper, like half the price, which I like alsolah.

 

Dasar cheapskate hihi.

 

So expect more of me on the futsal pitch.

 

Macam sial je statement kau ingat kau artissss?

Haha

 

P/S. Photo credit to Kuman’s facebook.

P/P/S. Asal sexercise je mesti tetek aku basah, lactating ke apa? Sheesh.

And there will be some moments when things are really magical and you though, it is worth it.

 

It is actually an insult to your dignity, your pride. You try to honour them with all your heart but the favour was never returned. And when there are moment when you actually find out that person is really unsure of his feeling for you until the extent letting other souls know either in a dignified way or by telling monstrous tales about you, you still want to hang on with the smallest hope you have.

 

Darling, if someone does not know how to respect your dignity, you better leave – that’s what I always say.

 

But then, walking away without turning back is one of the hardest thing to do. Walking to an empty space where darkness awaits, where your heart will break into pieces and blown away by the wind.

 

So you have to choose; between your pride and your heart.

 

Perhaps one day, you will find the courage.

 

Ok, first I only have half of my face on the IM. And then I told him I am self employed, tapi adalah post grad from comms line and masa degree belajar A.I.

My first job was at a recruitment company, and now I am a baker.

Like WTH? Betul ke kau ada semua paper qualification semua tu tapi last-last keje masak kek je dekat rumahhhhhhhhh?

 

I haven’t traveled much –  have not been to UK, Australia, China bla..blaa but went to Sri Lanka and Maldives.

My father worked outside of the country and one of them is Papua New Guinea.

 

Semua macam nak exotic dan tak masuk akal je kan, nampak nau menipuuuu.

 

But the things is, they were not fibs at all.

 

 

You know, the moment when someone reply I see or Ic so many times indicates that either he is bored with you or occupied with something else. I learn to pick this up while talking to my exes online.

 

So when the other person keep replying the same notation, I couldn’t help thinking, am I that boring? Or is it because he think I am a fake?

 

It could be I am boring – especially when I refused to tell him my vital stats [ why would anyone want to know about my vital stat anyway? Ini bukan pertandingan dewi remaja!] But I didn’t think I was a bore during that conversation so perhaps it was because he thought I was a fake.

 

Or maybe dia rasa menyampah dekat aku sebab asal je dia tulis Wow aku akan cakap eh takdela, nothing extraordinary. Nampak macam celaka sebab konon-konon aku nak low profile.

Masalahnya, memangla takde yang extraordinary pun so aku cakapla betul-betul. Lainla kalau aku angkasawan ke apa [ini pun, kalau aku dah jadi angkasawan mesti aku rasa ala takde apa sangat. Ewah cakappp, cuba jadi sikit, satu shah alam kau canang]

 

Anyway, this made me think. Maybe dalam dunia ni banyak sangat orang menipu sampai we cannot differentiate anymore between the truth and deception. We tend to be more skeptical. Sampai kadang-kadang benda yang depan mata pun kita masih nak skeptical.

I know I am one of them.

It is sad if I think about it.

But then again,kalau tak skeptical, hati sendiri yang cedera, bukan begitu?

 

How can I not miss someone who is so loyal to me? He also returned my love the way I loved him, without judging, without scrutinising my weaknesses. He made me feel loved, worthy and needed. Sometimes I think he loves me more than I love myself.

It’s true that I have two adorable kittens now but they are not the same, maybe because they are still too small to share the bond that I have with Ah Beng.

You know, I miss him so much that every night without fail, I will call out his name. I do not know where do animals go after they die but if they linger around and visit their old friend once in a while, I want him to know I really miss him and he is always on my mind.

It has been months since he was gone but it still hurts so much. There are times when I can’t still accept the fact that he is no longer with me. When I smoke at my favourite spot, I sometimes expect him to jump over and accompany me with his beautiful eyes looking at me.

When he died, I keep saying to Swirly

” I want him back”

 

But then I realised, he was never really ours. We were given the opportunity to be with him only for a while and when it’s time, he has to be returned back to his owner, the Almighty.

It is shameful to beg for something which is not yours – that’s what I keep telling myself every time I break into tears and wishing he’s with me.

He’s gone, I know but it will take me sometimes to get over this.

 

Even after that, he will always be on my mind wherever I go.

It was weird for emak somehow, she keep asking me kenapa nak tidur sini, selalu tu mak ajak balik bukan main susah, busy memanjang.

Betul, kadang-kadang aku busy but actually it was more to permasaalahan jiwa. That time I avoid spending the night at emak’s place because I didn’t want her to know what’s going on and I felt more comfortable to be own my own.

 

I still enjoy my own company but it was nice spending time with her. Berbaring di atas katil dengan MJ sambil mengeji drama pilihan emak haha.

Ada satu drama tu, cerekarama kot, hero dia konon mat salleh tapi muka ala-ala Pakistan. Dahla kayu. Ceh

 

Pergi makan sama-sama dan sambil makan mengeji diri masing-masing sebab makan banyak-macamana nak kurus ni tapi sambil tu mintak nasi tambah. Haha

Dan dah besar ni, macam-macam yang emak cerita. Kadang-kadang aku tak percaya she can tell me all those things.

 

Sungguh bahagia rasanya dan untuk kali ke entah berapa aku bertanya diri sendiri, apa yang aku selalu rasa liat nak balik?

Setan, setan. Bilalah kau nak keluar spenuhnya dalam badan aku ni?

 

Salah sendiri, tapi tak nak ngaku salahkan setan.

Heh

 

Even when my husband and I travel, we will try to choose a small and unique hotel to stay. I just don’t like being in a busy lobby or seeing so many people around the buffet table during breakfast.

 

I don’t know they is something about silence and quietness that really make me calm. Many people asked me am I not scared being alone most of the time at home?

I guess it does get lonely sometimes, especially at night but being alone means I can just focus on myself. I don’t need to make any effort to please anyone and I can do whatever I want whenever I want.

Sometimes when Joyce comes home, she will try to make some conversation with me. Sometimes when the mood is right, I will talk back but when I feel like being alone, I just smile and focus on something else. I know this is quite horrid but I can’t help it. I just enjoy my own company most of the time.

 

I don’t mind eating alone at a restaurant or even go to the movie.Unless I really love my company I would prefer to be alone. So I can be in my quiet world.

 

But no, I am not a ‘quiet’ person. Once you got to know me you will probably regret knowing me.

Haha

 

 

P/S. But I cannot be in a quiet place with teteks because our combination will interrupt other people’s quiet moment hehe.