Chillax - a place for funny videos, pictures and much more

Welcome

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:24:26 PDT

Hi,
Welcome to , a place where you can CHILL out and relAX, this site has loads of funny stuff such as TV Show blooper videos, News Blooper Videos, funny home videos, funny pictures, funny sign board, funny laws from all around the world and much much more..so chill out, relax and have fun.

NAVIGATION:-

You can click on the "Fun Stuff" menu located on the right sidebar and click on the desired category to view, the "My fav stuff (Videos)" is a collection of my favorite videos ranging from Music Videos, to TV Episodes, etc. Comment on the posts let me know what you think, if you got any suggestions feel free to email me.

P.S:- Can't get enough ? join the yahoo group and enjoy the latest funny pictures, stupid/funny laws from around the world, funny videos, signboard and much more. Join the group by entering your email below :o)

P.S.S:
By default, Blogspot displays 20 posts per page, if any Category contains more than 20 posts, Blogspot will only display first 20 posts out of it, to see the rest of the posts click "Older Posts" located on the bottom of the page.

Regards,
JAmshed IQbal (moderator)

Joke of the Day

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 13:00:21 PDT

Brilliant Joke, for men.

Women : Just read the first half!

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went
into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her,
"If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman
freed the frog, and the frog said, Thank you, but I failed to mention that there
was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's
okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and
he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the
world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The
frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he
will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay,

because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest
woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she
answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and
continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.

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Man had a attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart. Let
them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that
women never listen!!!

Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a
good sense of humor
...

( HUMOR AND JOKES ) POETIC RESIGNATION

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 12:43:59 PDT

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------------ ---
Employee Resignation
------------ ---

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig

The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say

My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age

This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate

Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!

The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk

That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace

I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess

No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.

Thanks & Regards
Employee

------------ ---
Manager Response
------------ ---

Reply: What I want to say? (Manager)

The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad

Keep moving in life that is what I can say

If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want

Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them

That is what I can say

Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)

From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you

You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work

It's always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one

But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one

This is all what I want to say

Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)

Once done you can take all your cash
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.

At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any....

You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don't feel shy

As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi.....
That is all what I want to say.

Thanks & Regards

Manager

******

Wizard of ID

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 12:45:20 PDT

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Its all about Wives

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:42:06 PDT

Its all about Wives

My wife dresses to kill. She

also cooks the same way.

************
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

************

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

************

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the
carburetor."

I asked her, "Where's the car?"

She replied, "In the lake."

************

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

************

I haven't spoken to my wife

in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

************

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.

So I got myself two
girlfriends.

************

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

************

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

The father replied, "I don't
know son, I'm still paying."

************

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a
hundred letters.

They all said the same: "You
can have mine."

************ *

It's not true that married men live longer than single men.

It only seems longer.

************

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

************ *

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but
his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.

The man thinks for a moment
and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

************ **

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget
it once.

Jewelry by John Hardy

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 12:11:52 PDT

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Chocolate Man knows Your Age

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 12:07:08 PDT

I love, You love, in fact, we all love Chocolates.

They are perfect for any occasion. You know, where
chocolates comes from ?

Well they are produced by a Chocolate Man. Have
you ever Met him ?

No, Well Even I havenâ€™t. He says who ever beats
him in the puzzle below,

will get a chance to meet him

Here is the Puzzle

1. First,
pick the number of times a week that you
would like to have chocolate

(more than 1 but less than 10, i.e. Numbers from 1 to 9)

(If your number is more than 9, like 25, then add the two number i.e. 2+5=7, and
then go with the result)

2.
Multiply this number
by 2 (just to be bold)

3.
Add 5 to the answer

4.
Multiply it
by 50 (Iâ€™ll wait while you get the
calculator)

5.
If you have already had your birthday this
year add 1759 â€¦ If you havenâ€™t, add 1758

6. Now
subtract the four digit year that you were
born

You should now
have a three digit number

The
first digit of this was
your original number (i.e., how many
times you want to have chocolate each week).

The
next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh
YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS WILL WORK FOR THIS YEAR
ONLY(2009), SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.

So, were you able to Defeat Chocolate Man in this puzzle, you too got the correct answer ?

Well, everybody is getting the correct answer, Chocolate man will not meet anyone.

Psychedelic Photoshoped

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 12:01:40 PDT

Palu Designers Jewelry

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 11:53:32 PDT

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Who Said History is Boring! LOL

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 11:59:51 PDT

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** LIFE IN THE 1500'S ***

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the bath water..

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs".

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old..

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat..

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a ...dead ringer..

And that's the truth. Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !

Educate someone. Share these facts with a friend.

People are Funny LOL

darkminddarkpoems@gmail.com (JAmshed IQbal) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 11:58:41 PDT

Did I read that sign right?

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK
OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE
ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST
FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Now
that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and
send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all
need a good laugh.