Choose an Extraordinary Life!

Where are the shamans?

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 13:05:00 +0000

I am reading The Horse Boy and the author and his family have just arrived in Mongolia to take a spiritual & healing trek. Upon arrival they are escorted to their hotel room in a city and this is the author's observation:

"I don't know quite how I had pictured our arrival in Mongolia. Straight off the plane and onto the steppe I guess, with caparisoned horses waiting for us just beyond the baggage claim, smiling nomads cheering us, shamans dancing and drumming, eagles circling in the sky, the horses, cattle, sheep, goats, and yaks doing some kind of Broadway number in the background and the wolves and bears of the mountain accompanying on sax and trombone. Something along those lines.
Certainly not sitting in a second-rate hotel room (though I could tell that this was upper-end, with its plush red nylon pile carpet)..."

As I read these lines it hit me - that's what happens when we start to live our dreams. We find the discord between our dreams and the now. We have to step into the space that leads us toward our dreams and be willing to do what it takes to finally reach our goals.

Often times the journey doesn't look like it did in our dream. We encounter people and obstacles we didn't foresee. We have to take step we didn't plan. But if we continue forward we discover so much. We have new experiences and learn new skills. And we live a journey we never could have imagined. And this journey is what gives us the ability to reach our goals and live our dreams. This journey makes us into the people we need to be in order to live the life we imagine.

Let a dog find your solution

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 15:06:00 +0000

"Next to me in the cab of the pickup sat Benj Sinclair, at his feet a midden of road-food wrappers smeared with the scent of corn dogs, onion rings, and burritos. ...Behind him in the jump seat was Kim Reynolds, an Outward Bound instructor from Colorado known for her grace in a kayak and her long braid of brunette hair, which held the faint odor of a healthy, thirty-two-year-old woman who had sweated in the desert and hadn't used deodorant. Like Benj and me, she had eaten a dinner of pizza in Moab, Utah, a hundred miles up the road where we'd met her. Like us, she gave off the scents of garlic, onions, tomato sauce, basil, oregano and anchovies."

When I first read this introduction to some of the people in "Merle's Door - Lessons from a Freethinking Dog" it struck me as a bit odd. Actually, it only seems odd to me because I'm not a dog. The author was introducing us to the people who were with him, but he was adding in the most important information in a dog's world - our scents.

As human beings we process our world primarily through vision, tailoring everything to what we see, so experiencing a meeting from the dog's perspective of smell is a unique experience. But isn't it fascinating to "see" things from another point of view? It brings different items to our attention. It causes us to ask different questions And if I'm experiencing a problem, seeing it from a different perspective gives me access to new solutions.

Sometimes we get stuck or feel lost. But what if the answer is to experience another view point?

Can't understand why your spouse does that?

Don't know why your customers go to the competition?

Wondering how you can break into a new career?

Be the dog - check out another view point. Ask questions, seek out opinions, get down on your knees, use your nose, stand on a chair, use your ears, do anything you can to get another point of view.

P.S. for dog lovers: "Merle's Door" is a great book that challenges your thinking and tugs at your heart.

It's the thought that counts - I disagree

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:48:00 +0000

We've all heard the old addage 'It's the thought that counts'. And I believe we often land in a place where that just isn't true.

If I think about holding the door open for you as you run up behind me but I let it slam in front of you instead, the thought did not count.

If I think about sending you a condolence card, calling, or dropping off a hot dish when a loved one dies but I do nothing, the thought does not count.

If I think about giving you a birthday present, or taking you out to celebrate, but do nothing, the thought does not count.

If I think about taking time to pray, meditate or walk in nature but don't do it, the thought does not count.

And if I think about living my life differently, learning something new, or following a dream, but do nothing, the thought does not count.

It takes thought AND action to make a difference. We have to make the time and do the things we think about in order for them to impact our lives and the lives of others.

What works

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 14:35:00 +0000

I did it again. I'm going along, living my life, and things are going well. I'm feeling good, happy and content. Then, I start seeing some issues. Soon I feel "off". Shortly thereafter I find myself standing there, arms flung wide, crying out for direction.

What happened? Where did all my joy go?

After a few days of wondering, I decided to spend some focused time and energy doing the things that I know "work" for me. For me that means taking down time and outdoor time, making time for meditation, regaling myself with stories of all the great things that are happening and counting my blessings.

After doing this for just one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. What "went wrong" is that I stopped doing what works. Those things aren't just practices to use in the tough times or when I feel down, they are the foundation for the good times. They are the basis for growth, happiness and success.

As Americans we have a tendency to get busy and to take the good stuff for granted. Sure, when the going gets tough we pull out all the stops and "do what we have to do".

But what do you do when the going is easy and things are good? Those are the habits you need to keep things going well and to give you strength, direction and focus when they aren't.

Is it true?

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:41:00 +0000

There are things we all know. There are rules and laws and just 'the way things are'. We certainly know that what goes up must come down. We certainly know that water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Well, apparently even that isn't necessarily true. As it turns out, if water is in a perfectly smooth bottle and doesn't come in contact with any dust it can stay liquid all the way down to -40 degrees Fahrenheit. (I saw this in an article on msnbc.)

It just reminds us that all those things we know to be true may, in fact, not be true at all, or may not be true under certain circumstances.

So the next time you tell yourself that something can't be done, or that something must be done a certain way, it might be worth rethinking the situation. There are all kinds of people in the world who have done amazing and incredible things, things that we thought "couldn't be done". So why not you? Why can't you do something different? Why can't you go against the norm? Why can't you follow your gut and do what you know is right for you?

Lessons from the beach - Walking Blind

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 13:33:00 +0000

Walking on the beach with my dog yesterday was an interesting experience. Over the winter the ice and snow has grown into hills and mountains, melted, refrozen and created many interesting and fascinating landscapes.

Yesterday, however, we had a couple inches of light fluffy snow that coated the entire landscape. It was just beautiful, and very interesting to walk on.

All that pretty snow was too light to pack but it covered over thousands of tiny hills, bumps and holes that we could fall into as we walked. I discovered this danger very quickly but I really wanted to spend some time outdoors in this beautiful setting, so on we went.

My dog ran ahead of me and, after a while I started to notice some things. We were walking much slower than we normally do at the beach. Our 'blindness' and 'ignorance' of the landscape made us cautious so we slowed down. Then I noticed that when we were backtracked to head back to the truck we had a different pattern. We tended to follow the path we had made on our way out, with the exception of areas where we could see deep prints - a sure sign that you were going to step down into a rut or hole.

Just as when we choose change in our life, we had to traverse a new and unknown landscape. And, once we'd been down a particular path before, it got easier. We knew where to go most of the time, as well as what areas to avoid. We gained confidence and speed.

I had a wonderful time and I'm glad I chose to face the unknown and blaze a path.

Frightened, clueless or uninformed

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:50:00 +0000

I just read this post by Seth Godin, "Frightened, clueless or uninformed" and, as always, he hits the nail on the head. We've all been in each of these places at some point in our lives. As I look back at my life and the experiences of those close to me I notice a few things.

When we are frightened we tend to get stuck. We go into the fight or flight mode which leads us to avoidance (flight) or kneejerk reactions (fight). We just aren't in a state of mind to make good, solid decisions or to follow them up with effective action.

And the main reason we are frightened is that we are clueless. We just don't have any idea what to do so we start to panic.

But what if we focus on going up the ladder. When we find ourselves in a place where we are frightened all we need to focus on is alleviating the fear, not solving the entire problem, just lessening the fear.

Once we've calmed down and can engage the rational part of our brain we likely will realize we are clueless. So what can we do here? Again, don't focus on solving the problem. Focus on finding possibilities. Talk, read or watch; talk to people, read books, blogs and articles, watch vidoes just to see what's out there. Discover things you never knew about. Grill the expert.

This has moved you up the ladder to uniformed. But now that you have all these possibilities you can become informed. Choose an option or two from your possibilities and get informed - find out what you need to do to follow that path.

Once we move past this point we become informed and that means we can make a good decision and follow up with effective action - the key to getting anything you want.

Altruistic or selfish? Do it anyway

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 12:46:00 +0000

Saw this post by @earthXplorer in Twitter ~ "No act of kindness is ever wasted." Aesop /via @Timberwolf123

It reminded me of an article I read where the writer was recounting acts of kindness and how they spread. The writer also shared some interesting facts including research on the effects of kindness. When someone experiences an act of kindness their body has a physical reaction. Their immune system starts pumping out good stuff, their brain starts pumping out good stuff, and basically things just get better.

While that's really great, there's more. Interestingly enough, it isn't just the recipient of the act of kindness who gets these great benefits. The person extending the kindness has a similar reaction, as does anyone seeing it.

Wow! Just think how much better you can make the world with a simple act of kindness. Just nice things like holding the door open for the person coming up behind you. Paying the toll for the next car in line. Thanking a customer service representative and wishing them a nice day. Anything that is nice works.

And the amazing thing about this is that you can go about it with an altruistic heart. You can be totally focused on other people. You can just be thinking about how to help others. And you'll still get to reap the benefits every time you do something nice for someone else. So if you want to be happier start looking for ways to make others happier.

A bear of very little brain shares out loud

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 13:50:00 +0000

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.
--W. T. Pooh (aka A. A. Milne)

I do love Pooh's wisdom. So often, when we have a hurdle, a problem or a concern just rattling around inside our head, it seems unsolvable and it grows each day. Saying it out loud tends to start the shrinking process immediately, and often brings about a great insight at the same time. And, for those times when we still don't see the path to take, others often will.

Why I Advocate Giving Up

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 14:32:00 +0000

I was reading Chris Guillebeau's blog today and was glancing at the titles of the books and blog posts in the right hand column. I saw one titled ‘Feel like giving up?’ Well, I absolutely had to click on it. And when I did I burst into tears. As I sat there, with my head in my hands and tears streaming down my face, I noticed thoughts running through my mind. Then I heard myself responding to these thoughts. It went something like this:

I’m just so tired.
No your not. Do you honestly feel tired?
No, I don’t. But then what’s wrong?
I don’t know. What do you feel now.
I feel like giving up.
What do you feel like giving up?
I feel like giving up on everything….
No you don’t. What do you feel like giving up on?
I’m tired of worrying about ___________!
Then give it up. Stop worrying about it. You have a plan in place. You’re taking action and moving forward. So give up the worrying and go back to enjoying each day even if that one little piece of your life isn’t exactly as you’d like it right this minute.

So yes, there is a time and a place to give up on things, and right here and now is the time to give up worrying about anything. Worry is counterproductive and doesn’t change anything except how we feel. I’m giving up today and I invite you to join me.

Perspective

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 20:38:00 +0000

I’m reading Learning Joy from Dogs Without Collars by Lauralee Summer. As she is sharing her experience at Harvard, she introduces us to one of her roommates, Maggie. She describes Maggie as 5’10” tall and 165 lbs of muscle, and as someone who always wished she were small. Maggie sees the impracticality and inconvenience of her size where Lauralee sees something entirely different.

Lauralee talks about how when she and Maggie are in their tiny bedroom it seems that entire room has to shift imperceptibly to accommodate Maggie’s every gesture. Whether she is scooting her chair back from the desk or just stretching her arms, her every gesture has impact. And that’s what Lauralee sees and would love to have herself.

Most of us mirror this in our own lives. We see the difficulties, inconveniences and things we just don’t like as annoying hindrances. But as we create a new mindset we start to see these things as gifts, benefits and opportunities. If you can’t do it yourself right now, just ask someone else. Just as Lauralee could see the great impact Maggie can have, so your friends will have a different perspective on you.

What are you missing out on?

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:02:00 +0000

I looked at the 'Honey Do' list on our refrigerator this morning and noticed nothing has been done on it. This was interesting because there are only 3 things on the list and it's been hanging there for weeks. The last list had about 10 things and got done in about a week. Hhhmmmm.... Then I realized that, although there are only 3 things, they are things my hubby doesn't like to do. Therefore they will sit there for a very long time.

Then I read Seth Godin's blog post 'Different Kinds of Work' where he talks about how we make choices about what we are and aren't willing to do in our work.

So now I'm thinking about myself. What am I choosing to do? What am I missing out on because I'm not willing to do what it takes to get there? Might be time to rethink the things I'm choosing to do.

Only 2 weeks 'til Christmas!

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:07:00 +0000

Whew! It's been a busy month. All the Thanksgiving preparations and dinners (yes, I said dinners. We get to have 2 days of Thanksgiving celebrations back-to-back), shopping, volunteering, time with with my family and some wonderful unexpected opportunities have all combined to make a very busy few weeks.

Now I can’t believe it’s only 2 weeks to Christmas! This morning, as I look at my to-do list, it would be very easy to have a total melt down. I could even regret taking the day off yesterday to enjoy a snow day with my girls. But I don't. While there is a lot on my list that I would like to do, the fact is there isn't anything on there that is a matter of life and death. There are really only a few things on there that 'have to happen' so Christmas isn't spoiled.

So I've decided to continue my same mode of going with the flow and enjoying my activities. We still have all of my favorites coming up including 2 this weekend; searching for the Christmas tree and decorating the tree. I'm thinking we might even have time to bake some cookies....or not. Either way I'm choosing to have a fun and relaxing weekend with my family.

Turn the unexpected into the unforgettable

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:41:00 +0000

I think this comment sums up my attitude about things that go wrong during the holidays, 'Turn the unexpected into the unforgettable'.

I watch people running around, trying to create the perfect holiday. Their lives become frantic and full of stress. They spend their days thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong so they can make sure to have a solution right at their fingertips. They run themselves ragged, running for the finish line of a picture perfect holiday. I know because I used to be one of them.

I had these visions of what a perfect holiday would look like. The kids sitting around the Christmas tree in their pajamas, smiling and laughing as they open presents. Mom & Dad snuggled on the couch, watching their offspring with hearts bursting with love.

The irony is that when I was running around, making everything perfect, it never was. I never experienced this glowing scene, and, if there was a perfect moment or two, any glimpse I may of had of it was from behind a camera.

Once I let go of the scene, when I stopped trying to create the perfect holiday, it all started to fall into place. When I spent my time and energy enjoying the moment I was in, the special day seemed to take care of itself, when I looked at all the things that go wrong as memories in the making (because it really is the icky, the messy and the embarrassing that we remember and tell funny family stories about for years to come), that's when it happened. I got my Christmas wish.

No longer did it matter if the table looked just right. No longer did I need to see the Norman Rockwell portrait come to life in my family room. I had spent the last 4 weeks enjoying baking with my girls, having a snowball fight or sledding down hills while picking out a tree, and reminiscing with my husband about every ornament that went on our tree. I didn't have time to create a grandiose picture in my mind, and that means my family didn't have to live up to some mental fabrication in order for me to enjoy the holiday.

By letting go I got exactly what I was looking for.

For more on the holidays visit www.heartfilledholidays.com

Your voice, your way, in your own time

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:25:00 +0000

Putting yourself in the spotlight isn't always easy. People have lots to say about anything you put out in the public eye. I've had people look at one of my books and tell me they already do that or they learned similar techniques or principles in someone else's book.

To be perfectly honest, the first time this happened it really took the wind out of my sails. But what I realized very shortly thereafter was that my voice is different, my delivery is different, and there are people out there who need to hear what I'm saying because my style and my voice are a fit for them. It is easier for them to understand me than someone else with the same message. It is easier for them to 'hear me' because of the way I share the stories of my life, and they can see what happens when they make various choices. They can see the struggle, and they can see the joy. And they might just be inspired enough to take the reins in their own life.

So don't let nay sayers belittle your choices or step on your dreams. Know that you can make a difference in your own way, in your own voice, and in your own time.

Her authority came from her life-style

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:16:00 +0000

I was reading my newsletter from the Center for Action and Contemplation where Fr. Richard Rohr posed this question:

"Why is it that Mother Teresa could stand up before crowds of thousands and simply repeat simple New Testament phrases, and blow people away? She didn't say anything new: 'Jesus loves you,' she assured us. 'We're sons and daughters of God and we have to love Jesus' poor'. Yet people walked out renewed, transformed and converted. She wasn't a priest. She wasn't well-educated."

And then the answer:

"Her authority came from her life-style and her pure goodness."

Whatever your message, and whoever your audience is, your greatest opportunity to have them hear you is to merely live your message. Walk your talk and that will give you authority. Whether it's your children, your peers or your clients, they are all more likely to follow your advice when they can learn from your example.

Sometimes it's just a nickle

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:10:00 +0000

I spent a little "mom time" on our school websites this morning. My eldest daughter's English teacher does a weekly poll of the students on all kinds of crazy questions. I was amused by a few of them and then shocked by one of the polls.

He asked the students whether they would stop to pick up a nickle, dime, or quarter and 44% of the students said they would would pick up a nickle or a dime and 85% said they would pick up a quarter.

Now, I don't know why some of these kids wouldn't pick up the money. But here's what I do know: 41% of the kids feel there is a reason to pick up the quarter but they won't bother with a nickle or a dime. That fascinates me and it rings true in the lives of many adults I know as well.

We go through our lives asking for things, or saying we want to be happy, or healthy or wealthy. But we don't recognize or appreciate the sight of the child building a sand castle. We won't take a minute and skip down the street with our own child or grandchild. We don't have time to stop and listen to a beautiful piece of music. These things are only nickles and dimes to us. They aren't worth our time, effort or attention. But . . . if I pick up 2 dimes and a nickle today then I've accumulated a quarter. If I laugh here and appreciate beauty there then I find happiness. It isn't always the monumental things that bring us what we ask for, sometimes it's a nickle.

Are you missing the most beautiful music in the world?

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:20:00 +0000

This is a story sent to me in one of the myriad emails I receive. I delete most of them unread. However, I felt compelled to open this one and I'm so glad I did! I don't know who wrote the original email but I looked on Snopes and the story is true. Take a minute and read it, then see if it changes your priorities, your perception or how you go through your days.

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approximately two thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes: A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time.. This action was repeated by several other children.. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes: The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour: He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made..... How many other things are we missing?

Getting double rewards

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:06:00 +0000

"To help others develop, start with yourself." -- Marshall Goldsmith

When I read this quote this morning I realized how often we choose to spend our energy worrying about what others are doing or trying to change what they're doing. The truth is that we can't change other people directly. They have to choose their own change. However, we can be an example to them and an inspiration to make the choice to change.

And here's another of those dichotomies: When we put our energy into ourselves, caring for ourselves, being our best self, sharing ourselves with others, we inspire others to do the same. So we get a double reward! We get all the benefit of being our most wonderful selves and at the same time we get to enjoy those who've been inspired by us to make changes for themselves.

Welcome the weeds

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:26:00 +0000

I saw an article today titled "Common Weed Could Provide Clues on Aging and Cancer" Basically scientists have studied this weed and found an interesting behavior pattern when one microscopic bit is altered. What caught my attention here was that this study was done on a weed. By definition a weed is something we don't want around, something we would eradicate from our lives if possible. Yet, it is a weed that is teaching us and giving us insight.

And so it is in our lives. The unhappy moments, the unpleasant experiences, all the difficult things are the weeds of our lives. We would happily eradicate them from our lives if we could. And yet, these moments teach us and give us insight, much like the weed that scientists are studying.

Perhaps it's time to welcome the weeds in our lives and be grateful for all they bring us.

Being a pumpkin

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:45:00 +0000

I received this in one of those emails that's been forwarded 1000 times and it gave me warm fuzzies. Since it's fall here and I like warm stuff I thought I'd share the warm fuzzies with all of you. Enjoy and feel the warm fuzzies of your source of joy and inspiration in life, whatever that may be.

Being like a pumpkin ~ God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all of the yucky stuff -- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc. Then He carves you a bright new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see.

Hidden Costs

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 11:53:00 +0000

I've seen several bits of writing lately that talk about the hidden cost of something. Whether it's the food you eat, the car you drive, or what you think, there are always effects that you may not have realized.

When you buy "cheap" food from the big box store instead of your local farmers' market there is an impact on the environment and the local economy.

When you eat food that has been sprayed with pesticides there is an impact on your health.

When you think negative thoughts about yourself there is an impact on your self-esteem and your future actions.

When you choose to do nothing out of fear there is an impact on your future.

Thinking beyond the obvious and thinking beyond the moment might mean making different choices and it might just mean a better outcome.

Twenty plastic bags of fear

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 10:54:00 +0000

As I was reading my book last night I could hear my husband talking to himself. He was packing for his upcoming backpacking trip and looking for things to jettison from his pack. He caught my attention when he came across a bunch of plastic bags and said, "Twenty plastic bags. What was I afraid of?"

Not, "What was I thinking?" or "What would I need those for?" but "What was I afraid of?" That comment really struck me and I realized that we all carry around "plastic bags". We all do things, think things or literally carry things around with us that aren't essential, not because we believe we need them, but because we are afraid to be without them.

I think it's time to take a serious look at myself and see what I can jettison.

Cracked Pots

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:49:00 +0000

I've seen this story many times over the years in slightly different forms. I have never seen an author's name attached but I'm grateful to them for their wonderful insights.

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water..

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do ha lf of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.

I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'

The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?'

'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'

For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

SO, to all of my cracked pot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Pegged by the hot dog guy

noreply@blogger.com (Sandy Fowler) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:31:00 +0000

My husband and I went up town yesterday to have one of our favorite lunches ~ hot dogs down by Lake Michigan. We went to our favorite hot dog vendor and while we were chatting with him he told us something really interesting. He knows things about people based on what they put on their hot dogs. I know this is true because he had already asked me if I liked my sweets (and those of you who know me know how much I've always loved sugar ~ Yes, I can eat a 6 pack of Pez without blinking an eye and still crave more).

And that's a skill we can all learn, not eating Pez but noticing things and seeing relationships. In fact, it's one of the most helpful things I've learned in my life to help me create better relationships and bring more happiness into my life. I've learned to pay attention to how I feel or react to something and what that means. I've noticed that if I read one 'beach book' it's fun but if I start reading 2, 3 or 4 back to back it affects my mindset and my thoughts tend to become more negative. I've watched my children and know when to answer their concerns and get into a big discussion and when to just let them blow off some steam or change the course of the conversation.

By noticing little things, small shifts in feeling or body language, I have learned a lot and made my life easier and happier. I can 'nip things in the bud' and make adjustments before they become a problem. I can find ideas and discover inspiration. It's not hard, it just takes a little time and a willingness to look, listen and feel.