chrasy

"the life of the fangirl is a hard life. But dammit we will flail and rage and we will do it loudly..."

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 22:48:00 +1100

“the life of the fangirl is a hard life. But dammit we will flail and rage and we will do it loudly and intensly [sic]!”

- yashoika.

To reiterate: the life of a fangirl is hard y’alls! Be prepared for the fury of a fangirl when our idols get bad haircuts, caught out by paparazzi or, god forbid, a girlfriend.

forgiveness?

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:42:00 +1100

「許して事なんてできない」とおもった，カノジョのしたことを．絶対カノジョよりワタシはずっと君をアイしていた，いつもアイしていた．蝶の翼のように君を抱きしめたくて，守ってあげたかった．静かな車で君がワタシに「賢明に言葉を選ぶ」と言った．

何も言わなかったから気持ちが溢れた永遠の秘密だった．今まで言わないで，幸せを破らないね．安定感をくれたけど君が選んだカノジョに負けた．

「そんな事なんてわけない」と思った，君の内緒が出した時に．分かってないで知りたくなくて怖いよ，どうしてコイが重すぎになった？無口な君ならワタシは大事な一言を上げたかった．君が教えてくれたからカノジョより言葉が大切ものをよく分かった．

Anita

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:42:50 +1100

Anita, my mother loved you.
You were a Madonna for your people,
but I never knew you.
You held Andy’s hand, in frou and fluff,
one quarter of the men who shaped my inner ears.
Another, who sang his way into our car,
One who spoke gently on my screen.
The last who danced into our home.
Tony, you speak doubly familiar, one half too rapidly
the other with a gentle English lilt.
A little less than our sweetheart Maggie,
but still noticeable.
And now that I know about you something I never did,
I’m a little closer to… Anita,
I want to ask you now,
when you hear me speak,
do you pick out the Australian in my voice?
It left scars on my sides, to be dragged across our lands,
but none on my cords,
they vibrate for your love.

Anita, my mother loved you.
In the winter, I wrap my coat around my chest tightly,
and rush down that strange alley surrounded by cackles,
these people loved you too.
Who would have thought you would have lived so little
and left so much,
even in a little girl who knows none of the words to your songs.
Anita, all of those men loved you,
and my mother loved all of those men,
and I love my mother.

Anita, my mother loved you,
and her emotions moved me, so Anita,
I cried for you, and all that I never understood about you.
Your 80s hairstyles, your swingsets in midair,
your frantic scramble towards something “better”.
If you had fallen further, what would they have done?
These people that love you, you would have changed too quickly for them.
I know a little of what they feel, but the way I feel for you is a riddle.
You knew to take your time.

Anita, my mother loved you so much,
so I’m afraid to seek you out.
Who will I hurt more in our meeting?
My mother, you, myself?
We will never converse,
for my fear of destroying that image of you.
I cannot let you shred the child in me,
who still sings sweetly in her sleep,
with an Australian accent.

I think it's okay for people to say "It wasn't real anyway!"

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 02:12:00 +1100

Then maybe people (mainly me) would shut the fuck up about situations that are out of their control.

I want other people to say it, to make myself feel better about sticking with my “heartbreak”. I can say that they’re weak and I’m strong, just because I won’t say it. Damn, I’m petty.

来年，ボクがいないからキミが寂しくなるの？

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:03:18 +1100

聞きたい．

「あたりまえでしょう」と答えて下さい．

でも，聞かない．

They think that putting you with strangers will make you open up more.

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 00:58:54 +1100

Maybe they just don’t get that you’re open enough. It’s enough! Well, I think it is.

I guess what I think doesn’t matter, then.

ボクのわがまま（とほかの信じられない事？）

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:56:35 +1100

一度も喧嘩もしなかった．でもそれがそんなによかったですか？　いつも異なっていなくて，ボクはいつもキミのそばにいたかっただけだから．その理由などはわがままじゃない？

（でも話す事があまりなかったから喧嘩をしなかった？信じられないけど．．．）

And so the rain made leopard skin out of the footpath,

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:12:00 +1100

Until the concrete finally gave way and became the gloomy grey of an elephant.

Cynical and preachy, it always comes back to me

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:37:00 +1100

Cynical and preachy, it always comes back to me:

A tip, from a novice: If you feel strongly about someone or something, stop. Think. Use words that describe how you feel. Don’t take overused, cutesy, and nonsensical phrases and apply them to situations you feel are rare, authentic, and near-perfect. If you are experiencing overused, cutesy, and nonsensical situations often enough to need to steal a sentence to describe them, you’re doing something wrong.

Diana says it in all the ways that I can’t.

Something's scratching up my bedroom wall.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:06:00 +1100

That creeping creature tearing shreds into the plaster. If I concentrate, I might, I might, I might hear where it is.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love being Asian.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:17:14 +1100

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love being Asian.

I am such a grandmother.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:03:55 +1100

I am always so against taking naps in the middle the day… but I was so tired I took a nap. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I’M GETTING OLD!

it may be a testament to how materialistic I am but,

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:56:00 +1100

I just received five CDs from CD Baby, just ten minutes ago and I am very, very happy. Like really, really happy.

I put them all in my CD player, turned it up reallllllllllllllly loudly and am serenading the whole street with Regina Spektor’s early work (Songs), Jane Lui (Barkentine) and others.

YAY!

Photo

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:35:33 +1100

Photo

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 01:30:39 +1100

incomprehensible.

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:58:00 +1100

I don’t really know why, but many tumblers love to remind themselves that they are alone, “wastes of space” and supposedly loveless in picture form. Sure, I complain and whinge about my unrequited love and the distance I put between myself and others, but skimming text is easy. It’s so hard to run away from it when it screams at me through at 500x400 image.

right now:

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:18:55 +1100

I’m really hungry but have no idea what to make for dinner that doesn’t involve effort and washing tonnes of dishes.
I feel like I want to throw my own head at the wall.
I can’t write music, I can’t write with words.
I’m looking forward to decorating my new place next year.
I wish I had been blessed with some sort of artistic ability. I think it would be nice to try and draw my feelings instead of write them for once.

fickle.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:45:08 +1100

Okay, weather, yesterday you were SCORCHING hot and today, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

The days that I do my freaking laundry, you turn out to be overcast and on the verge of rain. WHY? Make up your bloody mind, I just want to hang up my laundry! I don’t want to use my outdated, energy guzzling dryer. WHERE IS THE SUN?

Amuro Namie, Wild I am not ashamed of my love of jpop....

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 01:16:00 +1100

Amuro Namie, Wild

I am not ashamed of my love of jpop. Indulgence is blissful.

well.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:01:30 +1100

I don’t feel like I’ve written a single word that I can be proud of in the last six weeks. It sort of feels like… I forgot what I used to do before I got all lame and mopey and teenagery.

(I tried to shoot her, but she was just too kind. It doesn’t make it any better, but it’s getting to the point where it just doesn’t matter.

Besides, we were allies.)