Happy Anniversary Kevin!!  I love you!

As a child I went on vacation a lot.  I don’t remember much from our vacations (mom always says that the car accident I was in has affected my memory…it’s either that, or I have a horrible memory!!)

My vacations as a child…I remember going to Disney World, I was about 7ish years old.  However, I don’t remember anything but the electric parade, but I’m not sure if I remember that because I’ve seen photos or if I actually remember that.  I do remember staying at my Uncle’s house and his son’s pet taranchula got out…is that where my arachnophobia stems from?

We went to the Wisconsin Dells…I have no idea how old I was.  What I can remember from that is the boats that could drive on land as well as in the water (Duck Boats, I think they are called).  This was a pit stop of a trip on our way to South Dakota (we were driving my Uncle’s boat out to him).  What I remember most about that trip…sitting on the side of interstate for 5ish hours with the boat…just my mom, my sister, my grandmother and myself…while the guys (my dad, my grandpa, and my cousin) went to get a part for the boat.  This is something you can’t do in this day and age!  As far as South Dakota, I remember some little shops at the Black Hills and seeing a Prairie Dog for the first time…unfortunately, not much else!

I know we went to Niagara Falls when I was younger, but I don’t remember much of that, I do remember going with my youth group on a ski trip to New York and going over to the Canada side of Niagara Falls before heading home.  Let’s just say, some of those guys in my youth group should have stuck to the US age limit!!

I’m so glad there are photos that I can look at to help me remember things that we’ve done and/or seen that I can’t remember.

Anyway…as I was saying, we are going on vacation as a family.  We are bringing my mom along.  This vacation is so much different than any vacation I’ve ever been on…Why?  Well, my mom and I are making all the plans.  Neither of us have ever done that!  There’s always been someone telling us what we were doing or where we were going, so this is going to be interesting.  Kevin said he was going on vacation, but not planning it…so mom and I are doing all that.  We are going to Michigan to do some things and then heading over to Cleveland to do some stuff before coming home.

The one thing he has been begging for since his 12th birthday was a Facebook account…I guess it’s time to set one up for him!

Happy Birthday Michael!

Every time I think I’ve made it through the grief, I realize once more that my dad is gone and miss him all over again.  So, I made it through Father’s day…but the past couple of days, I’ve been down…I’ve been having lots of thoughts about my dad.  It saddens me that my twins were the age I was when my grandmother died, but I don’t remember her much at all.  I just want my boys to remember him.

He was such a great man of God.  I miss him so much!

“Save a Place for Me”  Matthew West

Don’t be mad
If I cry
It just hurts so bad, sometimes
‘Cause everyday it’s sinking in
And I have to say goodbye all over again

You know I bet it feels good to have the weight of this world off your shoulders now
I’m dreaming of the day when I’m finally there with you

(Chorus)
Save a place for me
Save a place for me
I’ll be there soon
I’ll be there soon
Save a place for me
Save some grace for me
I’ll be there soon
I’ll be there soon

I have asked the questions why
But I guess the answers for another time
So instead I pray, with every tear
And be thankful for the time I had you here

(Chorus)

I wanna live my life Just like you did
Make the most of my time Just like you did
And I want to make my home up in the sky Just like you did
Oh, but until I get there…
Until I get there…

(Chorus)

For some time now, I’ve been noticing a change in Michael (my oldest).  They’ve been little things, things I thought were just the signs of maturity…as in he’s getting older, (remember I said LITTLE)…but now, I’m not so sure it’s JUST that, I think it’s more of God working in him.  It’s great to see!

Michael has been really diving into what God wants for him.  In his youth group, they went through the gifts and had each of them really take a look at what they think their giftings are and then have their parents look it over and give their insights as well.  I took a look at the papers that Michael had.  He circled a “Maybe” for Encouragement.  Yes, I can see that.  He does seem to come up right along side his brothers when they are struggling and help them along.   So yeah, he might have some of that in him…

He had originally circled a “Maybe” for Helping, but then changed it to a “No”.  I think he was right the first time…he does have some of this gift in him as well.  I’ve seen him helping behind the scenes a lot here lately…I’d love to give an example, but I don’t think I will…a few already know what he’s been helping with and I don’t want him to get a “big head” about that.  But he asks to help, it’s not them asking him to help.

Leadership was another “Maybe” he had circled.  I think that as the oldest child in any given family, they tend to have a leadership quality.  So, yes, he does have a little of this quality as well.  I’ve even had some of his 6th grade teachers tell me that he has this as well.

The thing he circled a “Yes” for has been the one thing that has struck me the most.  I don’t know if he has this gift, but I’m not going to say he doesn’t.  That’s really not for me to say, that’s between Michael and God.  God will be the one who has to confirm this gifting.  Michael circled a “Yes” on Pastoring.  He has told me that he thinks he wants to be a Youth Pastor.  This floored me.  I had no idea…I told him that this is something I cannot confirm or deny for him, that it was something he was going to have to pray about and get confirmation from God.

A Youth Pastor.

WOW

God has really been moving in his life!  It’s exciting to see.

When my children were a bit younger than what they are now, I struggled with what my calling was.  Why am I here?  What is my purpose?

After some thinking and talking over with a few friends of mine, I have come to the conclusion…my purpose is to be a Stay at home mom.  That’s what God has called me to do for a season (yes, that season is quickly coming to an end since my youngest ones are now 5).

Over the past few months, I have realized how involved in my children’s lives and education that I have become.  I have also realized that I wouldn’t be able to do half the things I have done with my boys if I were a working mom.

Please Note… Not everyone has the same calling.

When Michael forgets something at home, he has the opportunity to call me as soon as he gets to school and ask me to bring it to him.  That’s something that may annoy me at first, but then I realize, not everyone is able to do that.  When Noah has a party at school, I’m able to go and help out (and thankfully, his teacher has allowed me to bring Daniel and Andrew with me as well).

Don’t get me wrong, there are days that I think life would be so much easier if I worked outside the home, but that’s not what God has called me to.

You can read Part 2 Here

I was only 16 when they told me I may never be able to have children.  How does a 16 year old comprehend that?  It was something that went in one ear and out the other…not to be thought about again until I met Kevin (a year later).

When Kevin and I started getting serious, I flat out told him that I may never be able to have any children.  His response “Then we’ll just adopt”…he didn’t even hesitate…it was an automatic response!

Fast forward a few years…Kevin and I had been married for 2 years and at Praise and Worship practice (yep, even back then I sang and Kevin ran sound).  There was a Hispanic minister that had preached at our church that morning with an interpreter.  However, he was at practice (which we did on Sunday nights) without the interpreter.  He spoke very little English…just enough that you could get the jest of what was being said.

He began praying over each member of the Worship team.  I had NEVER shared with anyone on the team (nor the pastor) about what the doctors had said to me in regards to having children.  He got to me and asked me if I wanted to have children (basically only said the word child…or was it baby…anyway, enough that I knew what he was talking about).  I shook my head.  He began praying for me.  During that prayer the only words I could understand was baby…not your fault…and boy.  He would pray, giggle a little and say boy…this happened a couple different times…if you know my family as it is now, you can probably imagine what he was seeing as he was praying.  At the time, I had no children, so I didn’t understand the whole prayer.

Within a few months (only a couple of actually trying), I became pregnant with my 1st child.  I believe with all my heart that God healed me that day.  I may have been 16 when they told me I may never have any children, but I was 22 when I went to my family and told them that I was going to have a baby!

As the ENT assessed me, he asked me if I felt any pain.  My answer…Nope.  They had to pry the door open and climb into the back seat of my car to get me onto a stretcher.  That question about pain…my answer changed as soon as they started moving me!!  Oh yeah, I probably should mention that as they were getting me out of the car…this is when I realized that my leg was broken.  My right knee had hit the dashboard and the side of my leg had hit the gear shift, breaking my femur on my right leg. I also noticed that the steering wheel had been snapped in half too and my head had hit the windshield.

They loaded me onto the ambulance and they also loaded the guy that hit me onto the same ambulance…again…small town, only 1 ambulance.  Off we go to the hospital.  While in the ambulance, I started getting those cold chills…(shock) I was loaded up with blankets.  But the more I shivered, the more my leg hurt.

Once we got to the hospital, the drama started!  Most of which I found out AFTER the fact.  The man that hit me told the staff that I was his daughter and he wanted to know how I was.  What threw a wrench into that was my parents showed up asking about me.  As all that got figured out, the doctor started in with the x-rays and the nurses came in trying to keep me calm.

From my bed, I could see the light window thing that they show the x-ray films on (I have no clue what that’s called) and could see that my femur was broken.  My parents were told that I would have to have surgery first thing in the morning and their choice was to put a rod into my leg or to put me into a full body cast (which I would have to relearn how to walk).  They chose the rod.

The next thing I can remember is being upstairs in a room with many doctors and nurses standing around my bed and this traction machine over my head.  Yep…time to put me into traction.  I know I had mentioned earlier that my head hit the windshield…yep, that threw a kink into the traction…They started pumping the morphine into my IV as they started putting the traction in.  Do you know that pain medicine takes a little while to work?  Yep…I felt them put the traction in!  Apparently, my parents were on the 1st floor while they had me on the 3rd floor.  They didn’t want them up there until the traction was finished.

After all that, it was time for me to relax (as much as you can in traction)…surgery would be the next day!

Morning of surgery…I don’t remember much.  I can remember being in the operation room and counting, then waking up back in my room.  Not much excitement…except the traction was gone and now I had a long incision on my right hip where the rod went into my leg. They noticed that my hand was swelling, so they brought the x-ray machine up to see if there were any broken bones in my left hand.  Thankfully there weren’t, however they did fit me with a brace so I could use crutches.  There was also a lot of other trauma in other places…long story short on that, the doctors told me (and my parents) that I may never be able to have children.  As part of therapy, they put me in a machine that automatically bent my leg…I didn’t do anything!  A day after surgery, I was up on crutches…I had to be taught how to use them.  I didn’t get the whole stairs thing very easily.  I went home and was out of school for about a month.

To be continued…

I guess I should go back and start from the beginning…

It was a Sunday, my nephew’s dedication.  I was asked to be his God Mother.  How neat for a 16 year old to have a God Son!  It started out as an awesome day!

That evening, after his dedication, I decided to hang out with a friend of mine.  I had my license, she had her permit…I was going to be her license driver…we were going cruising!  I drove my little red Chevette out to her house and we got into her car and headed out.  Since curfew was at 9 (school night and all…), we came home in plenty of time for me to drive home.

I climbed back into my car and started home.  As I came into town, I slowed down…didn’t want to get pulled over by a cop!  I noticed a car with it’s headlights coming my way…it looked like it was over the center line, so I slowed down even more and pulled closer to the parked cars.  Little did I realize that the next few moments would define the rest of my life!

Seconds after slowing way down and pulling closer to those parked cars, I realized that this car was coming fast and it was in my lane!  There was no place for me to go!  My adrenaline kicked in and I grabbed a hold of the steering wheel ready to brace myself against this car that was coming fast.

A split second later, my car was mangled, and facing the left side of the road.  As I looked around, I saw the other car stopped a few yards past me.  The next thing I can remember was me trying to open my door.  It was stuck!  A lady (who happened to be the Chief of Police’s daughter) approached my car and asked me if I was ok…still in a dazed, I said I thought so, she then asked if I would like her to call my parents (the benefits of growing up in a small town, everyone knows everyone and their parents).

I hear the sirens of the ambulance.  Then one of the ENT’s came over and started talking to me (he happened to be a Sunday School teacher at the church I went to).  He put the brace around my neck and did his assessment from the door.  Told me not to move.

My parents showed up and were a bit shocked.  They had told me at a later date that they figured that I had hit a parked car or something…the scene they came up on was not what they had expected.  Dad came over to the car and started talking to me.  I could tell he desperately wanted to help them get me out of the car…but the ENT insisted that my dad NOT touch me (we were told later why).

Things from that night are still a bit fuzzy…so some of the above information may be a bit off, but for the most part, it is as accurate as I can remember.

To be continued…

Happy Birthday Daniel!!

Happy Birthday Andrew!!