Christian Partner for Life

Dating Apps Used More Than Websites

christian_jess — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 14:46:26 +0000

It appears that online dating has entered a new phase: dating apps available on smart phones are now more popular than actually visiting the online dating website. You can read about the study here.

The study mentions that people now spend more time on dating apps than on the actual website. Further, the propensity for smartphone owners to sign up for online dating is higher than regular internet users.

The changes in online dating behavior reflect the nature of online communication. People are migrating towards using their smart phones as their main link to the internet.

The move toward mobile dating technology is both good and bad. One one hand, mobile access to online dating has given more people a reason to sign up. The more people that are out there in the dating pool, the more opportunity that you have to meet the right person.

On the other hand, mobile access makes online dating that much more ADD and superficial. Think about it, when using your iPhone to look at profiles of potential dating matches, your cursory review of a person’s profile is only going to become that much quicker. In an age when online dating is already based on a few very superficial characteristics, mobile app dating makes this trend even worse.

The task ahead for online dating platforms (particularly for Christian dating) will be to develop mobile dating apps that encourage high quality interactions between people. We welcome the trend toward more people joining the online dating world. We just hope that we can encourage the good aspects of online dating and de-emphasize the bad.

The Inner Workings of Match.com

christian_jess — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 02:18:56 +0000

I just read a really interesting article about match.com today. While match.com is most definitely a secular dating website, it is also a very popular site with among the most subscribers out there. We don’t recommend match (stick with Christian Mingle or Christian Cafe), but we can also learn something about online dating in the process.

The article makes a few interesting points about online dating. The first one is pretty important. Our initial description of an ideal date can be pretty superficial… and sometimes not even correct. Match.com noticed (and has started building algorithms) that base matches on your clicking behavior and not on your stated description of the right date.

For example, someone might state that they are seeking a college graduate who is taller than 5’11″. In fact, this person might be looking at profiles of non-college graduates. Their behavior indicates that they are considering someone who is technically out of their dating parameters.

The second point I liked from the article is the prevalence of online dating in our culture today. It is everywhere and lots of people are taking part.

Christians should look beyond this site because it’s frankly a little bit too much like a meat market on Match.com. Casual hooking up is not the intent of most Christian dating participants, at least if you are truly serious about meeting someone of faith. In any case, it’s very interesting to see how advanced the algorithms of online dating sites are getting. We will keep you posted if we read about anything like this specifically applied to Christian sites. My guess is that the top sites will incorporate behavioral matching at some point in the future.

Here’s the article on Slate.com. Enjoy!

Top 5 Cities for Christian Dating

annie83 — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 17:37:52 +0000

5. Houston

The fourth largest city in America, Houston is home to a diverse and vibrant population. With the University of Houston, Rice University and a growing population of young people, the city has become a great place to meet someone. Houston is host to one of the biggest populations of Christian singles in the country.

Houston has a strong Christian heritage and legacy. Minsters Joel Osteen, Ed Young, Beth Moore and Kirbyjon Caldwell all call Houston home. You can see by the size and breadth of churches in the Houston area that Christianity is alive and well. Young people in the dating scene here feel comfortable to be able to wear their Christian values on their sleeve.

While Houston is a big city, it still maintains a laid back feel. There is a warmth and general level of politeness that exists in this part of Texas, even though the city has lots of transplants from other places. While meeting Christian singles is still a conservative process, the dating scene here among young people is fairly low key and relaxed. This is a good thing.

The bar scene is respectable and can be a lot of fun for young people–even those maintaining their Christian values. Pearl Bar, Darkhorse Tavern and Front Porch Pub are all great places to spend time with friends and meet people.

4. Denver

There is no better place to meet Christian singles who like an active lifestyle than in Denver. Between running and biking in the summer and skiing and snowboarding in the winter, young people in Colorado enjoy an amazing outdoor playground. Ever been on a first date where you go mountain biking or trail running? This is pretty common in Denver.

“I like to go for a bike ride around Wash Park when I first meet a girl” writes John, a Denver twenty-something. ”The dating scene in Denver is great, if you have the right mindset.” The right mindset, we believe, is to be outdoor oriented and ready for adventure.

Denver and its suburbs have a thriving Christian community. There are ample churches and finding one with a great group of single Christians is not terribly difficult. Heritage Christian Center in Denver and Cherry Hills Community Church in Highlands Ranch are among the biggest and best Christian church communities in the Denver area.

Check out the Falling Rock Tap Room, One Up and the Blake Street Vault in Denver. They are all great places to meet singles in Denver.

3. Jacksonville

The saying in Florida is that the farther north you go, the further south you get. A southern-feeling city at its core, Jacksonville is great for Christian singles. This southern feeling is important, as you want to be part of a community that is friendly, down-to-earth and welcoming. Jacksonville is all of these things. With the biggest population in Florida within its city limits and a burgeoning young person demographic, Jacksonville is more eclectic and diverse than you might think.

The bar scene here has received mixed reviews from our readers, though there are a few neighborhoods worth checking out. There are two main areas of Jacksonville’s bar activity, and they are located just two miles from one another: Atlantic Beachand Jacksonville Beach. Not to be confusing, but Jax Beaches are actually four separate “cities.” In Atlantic Beach check out Ragtime and in Jax Beach check out the Ritz and Ocean Club. Online dating is definitely the way to go in Jacksonville.

The Christian community is strong in Jacksonville and is a central part of the city’s identity. The northern part of Florida is really more like the South than other parts of the state, a plus for bringing together a committed Christian network. Bethel Baptist and Celebration Church are two of the bigger and more popular churches in Jacksonville.

2. Dallas

A big city with Texas sensibility, Dallas is a great place for Christian singles. Cool new bars, restaurants and a thriving nightlife scene have made Dallas a fantastic city for young people in recent years. Though it generally received high marks across the board, Dallas also was frequently described as being superficial. If you can get over some of the less desirable features of the Dallas dating scene, it is one of the best in the country for single Christians.

If you want to meet good looking and available singles, go to a Dallas Stars or a Mavs game. Sit in the lower level so that you have a ticket into the Old No 7 Club and the Platinum Club. There are lots of good looking people and the scene tends to be low key enough to meet pretty much anyone.

Though constantly changing, there are a few “must see” places in Dallas. The Ghost Bar at the new W hotel next to the AAC (American Airlines Center where the Stars & Mavericks play) is pretty sweet. Lower Greenville is and always has been a fun place to hang out. Tons of good bars and restaurants in that area. Try Suede, they have a few concerts so check to see who is playing. Knox-Henderson is good, go to Chuy’s for some great mexican food and a margarita, the crowd here is great. La Duni is very close by here and a great, GREAT place to go eat. Check out Carson’s, on the Dallas North Tollway just South of Frankford–this is a fun place to bring friends and meet people.

1. Atlanta

Atlanta is the best city in the country for Christian singles. While the numbers favor men (Atlanta is rumored to have 2:1 girl to guy ratio), the opportunities to meet a Christian partner are abundant here. Very firmly a southern city, Atlanta has an educated, cosmopolitan population of young people. The city is big enough to attract a diverse crowd of singles, while maintaining a degree of manageability and charm. A combination of online dating and going out to the exciting bar scene will yield great results as a single person in Atlanta.

Christianity is a strong part of Atlanta’s heritage and a contributing factor to why the city is our top pick. Young Christians can take an active part in their church communities as a way to meet other singles. North Point Community Church and Peachtree Presbyterian are two of the biggest and most active religious communities in Atlanta.

Midtown Atlanta is considered to be one of the very best as far as nightlife and the single scene goes. Buckhead used to be one of the best but many of the bars and clubs there have shut down in recent years. Of the clubs left in Buckhead, the clientele tends to be high class. There is a very diverse crowd in Midtown. Many people who have moved to Atlanta from other parts of the country and from other countries come into this area during the evenings and on weekends to party and to meet singles. There are also many college students here and a fair share of gay party goers, so it is a very mixed social scene consisting of all types of people.

Our readers suggest a wide range of events where singles congregate in Atlanta. The following are some great suggestions for meeting people: bowling alleys on a weeknight, hip hop concerts at chill spots like Apache, Cenci and MJQ, Play Date, Camp Creek Barnes & Noble, Happy Hour on Friday at Dave & Busters, organization events (National Urban League Young Pros, NAACP), art galleries, radio host events (Michael Baisden, Steve Harvey), museum functions (Jazz on Fridays), eclectic parties (STIR, Sol Fusion).

Online dating has been particularly effective for Georgia singles. Christian Mingle remains our top choice due to the large community of available singles and the high quality nature of the site. Good luck finding your Christian partner in Atlanta!

5 Dating No-No’s

christian_jess — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 21:23:38 +0000

We have read a lot of advice about what you should do when dating. The flip side is to avoid blowing yourself up by making some common, but avoidable, dating mistakes. We’ve all watched Swingers and witnessed the painful scene when Mikey leaves a million voicemails on the girl’s answering machine. ”Stop calling!” You want to yell to him. The following are five tips for things not to do while dating.

1. Don’t Facebook friend someone right away

While this may not be obvious, it’s not necessarilly a good idea to friend someone on Facebook immediately after beginning to date them. The oversharing of information, particularly right off the bat, is a turn off. Leave some mystery to your relationship and wait for them to friend you on Facebook.

2. Don’t drop the “L” bomb

Whatever you do, don’t tell someone you are dating that you love them. Not after three dates, not after ten dates, not for a long time. Liking someone and loving someone are two completely different things, make sure you know the difference before blurting out the L bomb.

3. Don’t sleep with someone on your first date

For that matter, you shouldn’t sleep with someone on your second date either. Take your time. Take a lot of time. Live your values. You will always regret having given up sex too soon. Waiting to have sex is important if you truly want a relationship with someone.

4. Don’t be needy

If you call, text or email someone, let them get back to you. Stop fretting. Multiple calls or texts without hearing back from someone is a recipe for disaster. Never send a text saying “Did you get my message?” You are desperate and this is a turn off.

5. Don’t bring up your dating history

For better or for worse, everyone has a past. You’ve dated people. You current boyfriend/girlfriend has dated people. One of the worst things that you can do is share the explicit details of your past relationships. Regardless of why you are bringing your past, it only serves to create negative feelings in your new relationship. If your current special someone is really into you, jealousy and distrust are two of the main reactions that will likely arise when you tell them about your past dating history.

eHarmony Free Communication Weekend

christian_jess — Fri, 27 May 2011 16:34:05 +0000

If you haven’t tried eHarmony, it’s definitely worth a look. Check out our dating review of the site here. This weekend you can communicate free with your matches. Click on the link below to try it!



Top 5 Best Topics of Conversation
annie83 — Wed, 25 May 2011 00:18:34 +0000
So you’re out on a first date with someone who you’ve met online.  Congrats!  Just getting out and meeting people is half the battle.  Imagine yourself sitting at Starbucks, a trendy cafe or a wine bar with this new person.  Conversation is key. For the date to be considered a success, you need to have a comfortable and fun conversation with your date.
The following are the five best topics of conversation that will lead to building comfort and rapport.
1.  Pop Culture
Remember, you want to keep your first conversation light and relaxed.  Talking about marriage and commitment is not the way to go!  Talking about your favorite music, TV shows and web sites is a great way to keep the conversation interesting and light.  Tell your date about how much you love/hate the Jersey Shore.  Talk about what concerts you are going to see this summer.  Discuss how you are addicted to gawker.com.   What movie did you just see and find hilarious?
2.  Your Faith
You met your date on a Christian dating site for a reason–your faith is important to you.  Talking about your faith and how it plays a role in your life is a great topic.  Again, try not to get too serious.  Stay upbeat and optimistic about your beliefs.  Also, be open minded when your date talks about their faith: even if it is different from yours!
3.  What You Love
When you talk about the things in your life that give you the most passion and excitement, these topics will naturally show you in the best light.  Your enthusiasm will shine through.  You will be relaxed and comfortable talking about the things you love to do.  Similarly, the passions and interests of your date are important things for you to find out.  Spend some time listening for your date’s interests.  Do they love food?  Travel?  The Boston Red Sox?  You won’t know until you ask and then listen.
4.  The Place Where You Meet
It’s easy and non-threatening to talk about how much you love coffee, red wine, or the specific drink you are enjoying over your first date.  When meeting at Starbucks, talk about how much you like coffee.  Meeting at a wine bar?  Talk about your trip to Sonoma last year and how much you enjoyed the red wines of California.  You get the picture.  It’s an easy topic to break the ice.
5.  Tell a Funny Story
While you have to be careful to not overdo it, telling a funny story is a great way to keep your date laughing and entertained.  Be self deprecating.  Be humorous.  Keep it PG and PG-13.  Remember that time in high school when you got caught swimming naked?  That could be funny.  What about the time when you and your friends drank so much X you did Y.  Most of all, focus on keeping the conversation easy and fun.
Conclusion
One final takeaway: don’t get too serious!  You will scare away a first date by delving into topics that are considered too personal.   Good luck out there.



Christian Dating Rankings 2011
christian_jess — Sun, 22 May 2011 03:42:30 +0000
We’ve been gone for a while and wanted to apologize to our readers for not posting quality material relevant to Christian singles to our site.  We hope that all is well for you and your dating life.
Much has happened recently in the world of online dating.  We continue to witness the evolution of online dating from a fringe activity to everyday reality for millions of Americans.
A quick update: we will be posting updated rankings for Christian dating sites this week.  Stay tuned!  God bless.





Online Dating Going Mainstream
martin — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 13:05:12 +0000
Online Dating an Increasingly Present Phenomenon
In an increasing sign of the times, the UK government has now included online dating subscription fees as part of its consumer price index basket of goods.  The basket is used to measure inflation, taking into account roughly 650 different items that consumers typically buy.
The recognition is important on a number of levels.  Importantly, having online dating as part of the consumer price index points to online dating as an important and common expense among consumers.  In other words, this is not a flash in the pan of consumer preferences.  People are changing the way they meet their new boyfriends, girlfriends and spouses.
 
 



The First Email: What to Write?
christian_jess — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 16:16:29 +0000
So you’ve decided that you like the profile of someone at an online dating site.  Their picture strikes you as attractive.  They have an interesting background.  They live in the same city.  Now is the time to gather up your courage and write them an email introducing yourself.  But how?  What to write?  An introduction email, even if it is only a few lines, can be painstaking to complete.  
Save yourself the time and mental anguish of puzzling over a first-time communication with the following tips.  Remember: just writing something is better than nothing at all.  As Wayne Gretzky once said: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
1.  Keep it short and sweet
When introducing yourself via email, don’t write a novel.  Tell the person hello.  Explain briefly who you are.  Tell them why you thought you have a connection.  Ask an open ended question or two.  That’s it.  The point of the email is to begin a dialog between two people.  If you haven’t already started a conversation, make sure not to over do it on the first email.
2.  Be friendly, but not over the top
People respond to upbeat and friendly communications.  Your energy level and tone within the email must be appropriately good natured.  Start with a “hey” or a “hi” to begin your interaction.  Take pains to not come across as too needy, however.  If you are too nice and come across as needy, you’ve already lost.  Just be your natural, friendly self and it should work just fine.
3.  Spell correctly and use proper grammar
You would be surprised how many people don’t spell check their emails.  You want to come across as intelligent and well spoken.  Misspelling and poor grammar are a major turn off.  Take the time and effort to put your best foot forward!
4.  Be humorous
Humor is an attractive quality to prospective matches of either sex.  When you inject a funny/cocky/not so serious comment into your email, you break the ice.  It also displays confidence that you are willing to be funny in your initial email.  This is a good thing.  
5.  Be specific
A formulaic email that you have copied and pasted to many different people is completely ineffective.  Don’t waste your time.  If you are truly interested in contacting someone, make sure to include relevant details in your email that are specific to the person you’re contacting.  Does the person love to ski?  Are they really into fashion?  
Specificity is what makes your email authentic.  Also, include specific details about yourself.  What makes you interesting?  There is no preference for the average in online dating.  Make sure that you stand out by including interesting details and qualities about yourself.  
The first email can be a nerve wracking experience.  Don’t let it be!  If you take the time to write a genuine note to someone new, you will be rewarded.  



Post Valentine’s Online Dating Strategy
christian_jess — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 17:44:05 +0000
So you survived Valentine’s Day as a single person.  We’re glad you made it.  Valentine’s Day can be an all too in-your-face reminder that you are not involved in a relationship!  The good news is that there are many other single people out there who felt the same way over the past week.  We put together a list of the top five things you can do in a post-Valentine world to get back to meeting your match.
1.  Put Yourself Out There…Today

Valentine’s Day makes people more aware of the fact that they are single.  This is a good thing for you.  Online dating sites typically encounter the heaviest volume and the highest percentage of new members at this time.  It is a great time to meet your next online match.  Now is the time to test out a new online dating site.
2.  Tell Your Story

Online dating profiles will typically give you the chance to explain your background.  Use the past week of Valentine’s doldrums to tell your story.  You might say something like: “I’m now giving online dating a try to seek a great relationship.”  
3.  Sign up for Two Sites

You want to maximize the number of potential matches that you will find in your geographic area.  Do this by signing up for a subscription site (typically much higher quality) and a free site (lower quality but the price is right).  You will begin to gain familiarity with how the online dating world works.  Having a frame of reference for judging how good dating sites are is helpful.
4.  Look for Specials

Online dating sites are usually inclined to provide promotions this time of year.  eHarmony, for example, is offering free communication for the next two weeks.  By doing some easy research you can save yourself some real money on an online subscription.
5.  Be Extra Proactive

People are single and especially aware of this since February 14th.  Everyone is looking for their next great relationship.  Take the initiative and be proactive with dating matches who seem appealing to you.  Your new matches joined a dating site for a reason.  Seize the day and reach out to them!