Are you waiting on a promise? Between the promise and the delivery of your promise, there is usually this unwelcome four-letter word called pain. Like it or not, pain is typically unavoidable. So how do you endure when the pain increases? Vision.

Vision is vital and it's important to keep the vision before you. Why is that so important? Because without vision people perish. When the going gets tough, when the pressure mounts, people without vision give up when the pain increases.

Labor and delivery coaches know how important vision is. That's why they tell new mothers to find a focal point BEFORE their contractions begin. A focal point helps them press past the pain. They don't wait until the contractions present before they find their focal point. They establish that FIRST so that when the pain comes, they already know where to keep their eyes.

Likewise, don't wait until a crisis comes. Find your focus first and when the issues arise and threaten the delivery of your promise, keep your eyes fixed straight ahead. Don't let pain derail you. Keep the vision before you and one day, you will birth your promise!

I flipped it over and checked the tag. Half price? Sold! They must have known the Dumpster Diva was out shopping today.

As I snatched the sign off the wall and put it into my cart, I frowned. The words on the front of the sign might seem a bit off in my own home. Hmmm…I'm sure no one else would notice, but I knew.

In bold letters, the sign boasted the words Family…Faith…Friends…It sounded like the home I wanted, but not the one I had.

I always wanted a close family, but the home I grew up in was full of arguing and distance. My past upbringing became the lens through which I now saw my future. Oh, yes, I wanted a close knit family, but that was for “other” folk. I wasn’t worthy. I didn’t know how to be that way.

I thought about putting the plaque back in the booth. Its words taunted me. “The roots of a family tree begin with two hearts.” How can I display a sign like that? John and I don’t even have kids together. We are a “blended” family. I have three children from my first marriage and he has one. Our kids weren’t exactly jumping for joy fifteen years ago when we announced our engagement. From their perspective, divorce shattered their reality. Our family didn’t begin with two hearts. It began with two heartbreaks.

I glanced at the sign again. Faith…Friends…Do my children really share my faith? Are we really friends? Sometimes it seemed like I dragged them to church and when they were old enough to move out, they couldn’t pack fast enough. How can I display a sign like that? Won’t I look like a hypocrite? A façade of what I wished I had?

Somehow I managed to squelch my doubts and bought it anyway. Even if I felt like a fraud when I read its words, I liked the colors.

Now that I’m packing up my belongings to move to a new house, I’m deciding what to throw away, what to give away and what is worthy of taking the journey to our new home. I look at the sign once again.

Faith…Family…Friends…Should it go or stay?

Hmmm.

A lot has changed since I bought it years ago. Not so much with my family circumstances, but with my own perspective. I used to think that my children needed to share my exact beliefs for us to be unified in faith, but over the years and through our struggles, I’ve learned to embrace their uniqueness and accept them for who they are, not what they do. As they’ve matured into young adults, I’ve realized that being friends with my children means letting them celebrate their own triumphs as well as make their own mistakes without someone telling them what they “should” do. As I took the canvas off the counter, a couple of questions came to mind: How could I have learned that lesson of grace if we’d always agreed? How could we truly be a family if there were invisible requirements and expectations restricting membership?

That’s when I realized that God wasn’t as interested in changing others as much as He was in changing me. That’s usually the way He works. I often think it’s others who need to change, but God sees the bigger picture. I opened the box and place the canvas inside. The plaque is going to the new house and I’ll even put it in a prominent place because…

Now it feels legit.

Plus…I still like the colors.

Do you have a dream and destiny in your heart, but feel like you’re never going to get there? Don’t give up! God has a great future for you. He sees the end from the beginning and He won’t give up until He has finished the work He began in you.

God sees qualities in you that He wants to use to serve others, but like any good coach or trainer, He will push you beyond what you think you are capable of in order to expand those qualities and give them maximum exposure.

If you've ever worked with a personal trainer, you may already know, they aren't the most gentle people in the world. They are after results! And results require resistance. Grueling resistance.

Training is not always pleasant at the time, but the pain produces results.

Hmmm. That reminds me of a scripture: No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)

So the next time you encounter resistance,
or rejection,
or adversity,
or longsuffering,
or hopeless situations…

remember, God does not waste a hurt. He is after results. He will turn everything around for your good. He will take that hardship or difficulty or insult and use it to develop strength and endurance in you. And you will be more beautiful and priceless because of it.  

Here’s why: In God’s kingdom, suffering produces glory.

That’s right. Glory is the by-product of pain. I know this is not a very popular subject, but since we all endure pain, isn’t it good to know that God can turn our pain into purpose? He uses the painful things of our past for kingdom gain. Jesus was no different. Luke 24:26 says, “Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?"

All through nature this lesson is echoed in creation. Take an oyster for example. You may love wearing pearls, but did you know the glory of a pearl was born in suffering?

That’s right. A pearl typically starts out as a tiny grain of sand. If you’ve ever had a grain of sand in your eye, you know how much it can irritate. You’ll completely stop what you are doing to get rid of it. But the oyster can’t. It just has to deal with it. When a grain of sand gets under the oyster’s shell and bothers it to no end, it has to find a way to endure. In order to compensate for the misery, the oyster begins to build up a mucus around it. Over time, what was once an unwelcome intrusion becomes a priceless beautiful pearl. So next time you suffer your own afflictions and irritations, don’t despair. If you don’t give up, He will develop a priceless pearl in you, too!

Which type of pearl are you?

Cultured Pearl      When God wants to develop compassion in you, He may refine you with rejection like He did Joseph when he was sold into slavery by his brothers. Instead of being bitter, Joseph’s trials developed leadership skills in him that promoted him from prison to the palace and helped save an entire world destined to famine.

Natural Pearl      When God wants to develop perseverance in you, He may refine you by adversity like He did Moses when he spent forty years living on the back side of the desert. Instead of remaining a victim, Moses became a victor as God used him to lead the Israelites out of the bondage of Egypt.

Tahitian Black Pearl       When God wants to develop patience in you, He may refine you by longsuffering like He did Mary when she pondered things in her heart for years and then saw her dream die on the cross. Instead of being filled with sorrow, however, she was consumed with joy as she surrendered her soul to God’s vision.

Akoya Pearl      When God wants to develop trust and confidence in you, He may refine you by hopeless situations like he did with Gideon when he was hiding in the winepress. We don’t have many winepresses where I’m from, but I know a lot of women who live in whine presses. God wants to take your bitterness and press it out of you. What’s left after the bitterness is gone is only His intoxicating love. He turns whine into wine.  

Freshwater Pearl      When God wants to develop joy in you, He may refine you by hunger and lack like He did Paul. It was in doing without that Paul learned the secret of being content. We are no different. God is more interested in our calling than our comfort. He wants to show us that joy does not depend on what we have. Joy comes from knowing His strength.

I heard this statement in a sermon on Sunday and have been pondering it all week: "The greatest temptation is comfort." I know it's been true for me. I tell myself that I'm going to lose five pounds before vacation, and then at a point of weakness, the comfort of ice cream beckons. Suddenly how I feel now becomes more important than how I will feel later.

David sinned with Bathsheba when he was seeking comfort and rest from war. Aren't we the same?

Compromise comes when we abandon our character development for temporary comfort. When we exchange our frustrations for food, when we exchange our loneliness for lust, or when we exchange our boredom for the thrill of shopping spree, we trade momentary comfort for an opportunity to allow God to strengthen us. That’s why vision is vital. In order to have God’s perspective and the ability to press past temptations that threaten to derail us, we must have a vision of what God is trying to accomplish in our lives through the challenges of life.

Proverbs 29:18 says that without vision, people perish. Likewise, without a revelation, our resolution will eventually fade.

Change is hard, but it builds our character. Change comes when you have a vision from heaven that empowers your resolve. So pray that God will give you a glimpse of His glory, that He will give you a sneak peek of what He is trying to accomplish in your life. And I’m agreeing with you. I’m praying that God’s vision will flood your heart and mind today! When you align your vision with His, your will will be stronger than your weakness.

How do you handle the painful memories of a broken relationship? It's especially difficult when you still have friends in common that think it's their obligation to give you updates whenever you see them. Maybe they don't understand that it's like throwing salt on an open wound. Maybe they don't understand how difficult it is to process the information. Maybe they don't understand that the devil uses that opportunity to drag up old memories again.

Years ago, in the wake of a broken relationship, I was reading Proverbs 4 when verses 14-15 leap out at me. “Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way.”

That’s when the Lord told me not to even drive down the street that housed one of our favorite hangouts. Why would God tell me that? Because He knew that every time I went down that street it made me remember the times we spent together. He knew I needed a season of time to let my memories heal. He knew that if I starved my mind from entertaining memories of our romance that eventually my mind would heal and my soul would be healthy again.

What we feed grows and what we starve dies.

Today I can go down that street because the wounds of my past have healed, but when they are fresh, memories rehearsed too soon cause the wound to fester again. If you struggle in this area, protect your heart. Ask the Lord what He wants you to do to put a guard around your heart. He knows you intimately and wants you to completely heal. He knows the wisdom and strategy that will completely restore your soul.

Have you ever insisted on getting what you wanted only to find out it wasn't really what you wanted in the first place?

When my daughter was young, she insisted on spending her allowance on a cheap toy watch encrusted with plastic gems and a glamorous Barbie on its face. It didn’t matter how much I tried to explain that it was a waste of money and it wasn’t going to last, she was fixated on getting that watch. To make matters worse, her best friend had one and they had to be “twinkies". 

Her pestering was no match for my reasoning.

I finally relented and we went to the store where she emptied her jar of coins at the cash register. Eight weeks of allowance and one day later when her watch broke on the playground, she hyperventilated with sobs. “Can we take it back to the store, Mommy?”

Oh, how I wanted to. “I’m sorry, Brittany, refunds are only available for defective merchandise, but yours broke because you were careless.”

I wanted to fix the situation for Brittany. My mother’s heart ached for her. I wanted to buy her a good watch with my own money, but I knew she needed to learn from her choices. If I rescued her, I would trade a temporary toy for a priceless life lesson.

Even as grown women, we can be whiny babies. Have you ever craved something that wasn’t good for you? Have you ever insisted on getting your own way? I have. I know God tried to warn me, but my persistent stubbornness gave me the opportunity to experience the consequences of my choices and learn some valuable life lessons.

Thankfully when things go south, God doesn’t sit on His throne with his arms crossed and say things like,

I tried to warn you.

Well...you asked for it, didn't you?

You had it coming.

We may have to suffer the consequences for awhile, but in the midst of our turmoil, God always has a plan for redemption.

In Psalm 106, the Israelites had a huge case of buyer's remorse. After their deliverance from Egypt, they gave into their craving in the desert and suffered from a wasting disease. Even though their choices were made in stubbornness, God’s love was more stubborn than their whinning and rebellion. His mercy prevailed even when they ignored His warnings:

"Many times he delivered them, but they were bent on rebellion, and they wasted away in their sin. But he took note of their distress when he heard their cry; for their sake he remembered his covenant and out of his great love he relented" (Psalm 106:43-45).

Aren't you so thankful for God's grace and goodness? He doesn't give us what we deserve.

His love never fails. It’s like a diamond encrusted Barbie Timex. Even when we insist getting our own way, His love takes a lickin and keeps on tickin.

I guess we had it coming.

Thank you Lord that You lavish Your love on my sister. Even when she's been annoying and stubborn, You pour out Your grace on her life and relent in mercy. May she accept the gift of Your grace and see herself through Your eyes so she can reflect Your goodness to a hurting world. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

I saw a man walking down the road the other day with a horribly disfigured face. My heart was immediately pierced as I thought about the hardship he must deal with because of the way he looks. I haven't been able to get him out of my mind, so I’ve been praying for him. I’ve prayed that he would feel God’s acceptance, that he would feel God’s embrace and not feel alone or isolated because of the way he looks. I even prayed that God would send medical help to cosmetically transform his face.

For a moment, I was caught off guard. “What about the rejection he must face, Lord? Wouldn’t it be easier for him to receive your love from others if he didn’t look like that?”

“If I fix his face, Christy, he will still won’t be secure in me.”

Oh, ladies…isn’t that the way it is with us? We beg God to fix the outside, when the inside is where the issue is. If we don’t get to the root, the heart of the matter, in our own efforts we will fix the wrong thing.

Rarely is the root of our issue clearly exposed. The roots are underneath the surface. They’re buried. If we only fix the external, we delay or hinder the work God wants to do on the inside of us. God wants to heal us from the inside out. Let Him crack your shell so you can be completely free!

What about you? What do you need God to fix? Ask Him to begin on the inside. When His work is finished, you won't just look good on the outside, you will be completely free!

Oh, and I forgot—sex.

And my ex.

These arenas have given me more education than a doctorate degree in Issueology could ever provide. 

If it were just the multitude of experiences that qualified me for writing on this subject, however, I would have to pass. Everybody has trauma and drama. Rather, it was when I finally learned how to see the beauty beyond the pain that I began to look at the issues of life differently.

I guess it’s the dumpster diva DNA I was born with. This creative quirk I inherited compels me to search for treasure among trash.

I’ve scoured curbsides at dawn on big trash day, thrift stores are my favorite boutiques and I only go antiquing at garage sales. For me, looking for trash is not just a leisure activity—it’s a mission!

It’s because I love the treasure hunt. When I find my jewel, the delight I feel reminds me of how God must feel when we finally discover a treasure among the debris in our life.

You see, adversity and dumpsters have a lot in common. Sure, there’s a lot of junk in both, but if you look closely enough, you can always find a gleaming gem among the trash.

The tough times in life are what make us into who we are meant to be. So remember, when you feel like you’re all banged up, God can use you better broken. He sees the treasure inside.

Now it's your turn!
Encourage your sisters here. What unpleasant situations have you endured that you can now see the treasure in?

Acts 8:23 gives shocking insight into bitterness. “For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.” When we don’t forgive, we are not just more vulnerable to sin, we are bound to iniquity. Like a fly on a No-Pest strip, we are stuck in a sticky trap.  

That’s when we need to turn our offenses into fences by establishing healthy boundaries. When we fail to clear boundaries we leave ourselves vulnerable. Consider this: When others continually violate us, it may not always be their fault. Sometimes we tolerate too much. It's twisted Christianity when we think we should let others walk all over us.

After all, Jesus said to love others as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31). If we don't love ourselves very much, we won't have any love to give others. It's the same principle that airline attendants instruct passengers. "In the event of the loss of cabin pressure, FIRST place the mask over you own face." They know the importance of disaster aid. If you don't take care of yourself first, you won't be in a position to help others.

In the same way, bitterness is like losing oxygen. When we are bound by bitterness because we let others disrespect us, our capacity to truly love is severely compromised.

Now I know what you're thinking. "Aren't boundaries selfish? Isn't it wrong to put ourselves first?" Well, Jesus said to love God first, then ourselves, so that we could love others. He knew the divine order of things. When we love God and take care of our own temple, eventually, a beautiful thing happens. Our offenses turn into fences. When we are no longer offended, our capacity to love increases. Not only do we love ourselves more, but others recognize that. They respect us more. But the best part is that we are capable of showing love in a much greater capacity. People who once irritated us no longer do. They may not have changed their actions, but we can love them in spite of it.

I can tell you it works! As I have matured in my ability to tolerate others imperfections, the boundaries and fences around my temple have become smaller. The fences to protect my heart have increased my capacity to love. Today I love bigger and so can you!

Prayer: Father, I thank You for my friend and the good work You have begun in her. I declare that because Your spirit lives in her, You have enabled her to love with a godly, ever-icreasing love. I thank you that through Your grace she has the capacity to overlook an offense when others mistreat her. Your wisdom gives her the discernment to know when and how to guard her heart by establishing boundaries so that Your love shines in her. In Christ’s name I pray. Amen.

The New Testament is full of extremely weird activities that Jesus and the apostles used to heal people. Why? Because the presence of God is contagious!

Jesus used spit to heal a blind man! The DNA of Jesus was in his saliva.

Paul anointed handkerchiefs! It sounds crazy, but the handkerchiefs were a point of touch that released the healing power.  Healing power was contagious, it was communicable by contact.

Check out how Webster’s defines the word contagious: “catching; that which may be communicated by contact.”

I bet you have a whole lot of "contacts" on Facebook. Can they catch something from you?

Think about it.

If someone with a cold breathes on you, you can get sick. If we can catch germs, why can’t we catch joy? If we can catch the flu, why can’t we catch faith? If we can catch viruses, why can’t we catch vision?

In Genesis the scriptures say that God breathed the breath of life into man and he became a living creature. The word breath in this scripture actually means spirit!

Likewise, your presence, your breath, your words, whether they are physical or virtual, have the power to produce life.  YOU ARE CONTAGIOUS.

H

Isaiah 43:25 (NASB) says this: “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins.” The NLV says it differently: "I will never think of them again." The word remember used in this verse comes from the Hebrew word, zakar, which means to recall, to mention, call to mind, to record, or to make a memorial.

Here’s the key: When God says that he will not remember our sins anymore, it means that he will not recall them, he won’t mention them, he won’t call them to mind, he won’t record them or make a memorial. He won't even think of them again. This is where the confusion occurs for so many of us. We equate “not remembering” with forgetting. And it doesn’t make sense to us because we can’t figure out how we can possibly forget something that happened.

Are you nodding your head at this point? Maybe this will bring relief. Forgetting doesn’t mean we’ve lost the memory—it means we’ve lost the emotional charge related to the memory. We no longer hold our offender responsible to pay up. We’ve discontinued punishment and released them from penance. All remaining penalties are removed.

But how often do we “forgive” and bring the matter up again? Or how often do we make a memorial out of our pain? It’s been said that misery loves company. So does bitterness. Some people enjoy the attention their misery brings. They nurse their wounds and the compassionate interest others show their afflictions. Their bitterness is a love/hate relationship that becomes a constant companion and an addictive consuming trap. Most often their propensity to remain bitter is due to some false beliefs about forgiveness. So let’s go over a few points about forgiveness.

• ·         Forgiveness is a choice.
• ·         Forgiveness doesn’t mean the other person’s actions were acceptable.
• ·         Forgiving another doesn’t release them from the natural consequences of their actions or a legal obligation for restitution.
• ·         Forgiving is not something we do for the other person.
• ·         We forgive out of obedience to God.
• ·         We forgive so that the chains of bitterness don’t destroy our own soul-health.
• ·         Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to trust the offender again.
• ·         Forgiveness is required, but trust has to be earned.
• ·         Huge difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.

Let’s talk about some more points about forgiveness:
 

• It only takes one person to forgive, but it takes two people to reconcile.
• Reconciliation cannot occur without forgiveness, but forgiveness can occur without reconciliation.  
• A relationship cannot be reconciled without repentance from the offender.
• Jesus forgives us before we ever ask, but until we repent, we cannot be reconciled to Christ.

Likewise, we should follow Jesus’ pattern. We must forgive before others ask. But reconciliation doesn’t occur until genuine repentance occurs.  

I think the reason so many people are hesitant about forgiving is because they think as soon as they forgive, restoration of the relationship is required. That hopefully occurs, but what if the other person’s behavior has not changed? 

Just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat. One of the best ways to keep yourself free from bitterness is to guard your heart. Make a commitment to your soul-health that you will not accept unacceptable behavior. But the greatest committment you can make to your soul health is to walk in forgiveness. You can forgive and release your offenses!


Dear Heavenly Father, I lift up my sister now. Please show her how to release her offenses. Remove the sting and pain of her past memories. When they try to creep back in and gain access to her soul, help her to replace her memories with pleasant thoughts. Help her guard her heart, so that out of it flows love, joy, peace, patience and kindness. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.


Scriptures to Ponder:

He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our
iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea (Micah 7:19).

I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more (Isaiah 43:25).

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13).

Questions to Ponder:

1. Is it easy or hard for you to forget past hurts and offenses? Why or why not?

2. Is it easy or hard for you to accept God's forgiveness for your personal transgressions? Why or why not?

3. God subdues our sin and treats us as if the offense never occured. How does that influence you to treat others who sin against you or forgive yourself when you mess up?

4. Look over the bulleted false beliefs above highlighted in orange. Which ones have you struggled with the most? What truth can focus on to replace the falsehood?

Why me, Lord? Why do I have family members who don’t believe the way I do? Why do I have children who rebel? Why am I surrounded by conflict?

Here’s what I’ve come to realize.

When the mountain of conflict doesn’t change, God is using the mountain of conflict to change me.

I didn’t come to this conclusion without a sumo wrestling match with God. For sure, I tried to find another route around the mountain. I tried to get a flight over the mountain. I tried to find a train to go around it, or a crane to move it out of the way. But planes, trains and cranes are of no use when it comes to certain mountains. The only way to deal with unmovable mountains is to go through them. The only way to learn how to truly love is to learn how to love the unlovable.

Maybe you’ve read the “love” chapter in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13. The very first thing that God tells us about love is that love is patient. Do you know what King James calls patience? Longsuffering.

Really?

Let’s be honest, here. Who likes to suffer long? Off the record, I’d just like to say, there are a few verses where Bic Wite Out correction fluid would come in real handy.

Nonetheless, Jesus is teaching me how to be patient. When those I love sin, walk away, transgress or rebel, Jesus is teaching me to how to suffer long, how to be patient and how to hope. He’s showing me how to think the best of others, see the best in others and how to be kind when they disagree. I wouldn’t know how to love like Jesus if others always met my expectations, but to love in the midst of hatred, disagreements and disappointments transforms me first, so I can demonstrate the love of Christ.

Jesus said to the woman caught in the act of adultery, “Neither do I condemn you.” If that was his example, how can I condemn others trapped in rebellion and sin? If Jesus told us to forgive 70 times 7, how can I withhold forgiveness when others offend me? Disagree with me? Scorn my views?

Love never fails. Love suffers long.

How long?

Love NEVER gives up.

Nowhere in the Bible is this example so clearly demonstrated than in the story of the prodigal son. The father of the prodigal son released his inheritance to his son knowing full well that he would squander his inheritance. And yet somehow he knew his investment was worth the cost. Whatever it took for his son to find freedom was worth the price.

His son’s rebellion was audacious. He bossed his dad around. He thought he knew better than him. Sound familiar? Basically he told his dad, “I don’t want to hang around here anymore and I don’t want to wait until you die to get what I’ve got coming. I’m ready to go see the world and go do my own thing.”

I’m sure the father had a pretty good idea his son would party the money away. He had witnessed his propensity for wine and women and he knew his fascination with weed had nothing to do with starting a lawn care business, but his dad’s love was patient.

The father’s love embraced longsuffering. He knew a sermon wouldn’t transform his life. Only God and experience would. Only releasing him into a world of bondage would set him free.

Prodigal means an extravagant indulgence in sensual pleasures. Aren’t we all prodigals until we find Christ? We indulge our flesh in whatever makes us feel good until we realize that our indulgences no longer suffice.

That’s what happened to the son. He had to spend all he had before he got to the end of himself. It wasn’t until then that he began to crave his father’s love and start his journey home. And here’s the amazing part: He found his father in the same place where he was when he left home. Waiting. Suffering long. Loving.

The father had given his son what he demanded and trusted that God would work out the rest of the details. He never gave up. He never lost hope. He didn’t grow bitter. He always thought the best.

I’ve learned so much from this story. When I see others from my own perspective I will speak to them and treat them like Christy would. My words will be filtered through the lens of criticism, condemnation and judgment. I’ll be tempted to think they’ll never change. They deserve their misery. I’ll remember every past offense and keep records of their wrongs. In fact, I’ll make virtual DVDs to play over and over in my mind. I won’t trust them because they’ve never shown trustworthy behavior before. I will think the worst of them. I will be impatient, unkind, envious, boastful, arrogant, rude and self-seeking.

When I see others from God’s perspective, however, I will speak to them and treat them like Jesus would. I’ll be able to see how the hurts of their life have bound them to sin, but because I know the Answer I will be able to offer patience, kindness, trust and encouragement.

I can’t open the eyes of others. Only Jesus can give sight and heal spiritual cataracts. My job is not to condemn blindness, but to love until Jesus opens their eyes. Because here’s the deal.

Love suffers long and love never fails.

Love moves mountains. It IS the most excellent way.

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray you would help my sister. When she’s struggling, help her to see beyond the mountain of her present circumstances. May she recognize when she’s walking in judgment and condemnation. I pray that you would give her the ability to love like Jesus. May you empower her to overlook offenses and walk in patience and love and kindness. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Scriptures to Ponder:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV  

"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.” Luke 15:22  

Questions to Ponder:

1. Who is someone in your life that has most demonstrated love to you? What did they do that convinced you of their love for you?

2. In verse 7 of 1 Corinthians 13 the NIV uses the word trust, however, the Amplified Bible says this: Love is ever ready to believe the best of every person. Why is it important to think the best of others? How does thinking affect your actions toward others?

3. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a. Which attribute of love is one you need to work on most? How can you strengthen that area?

4. You may have heard the quote, “Preach the gospel and if necessary, use words.” What does this mean to you?

5. Read the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. How do the father’s actions in the story exemplify the above quote? How do his actions encourage you to demonstrate love when others are unlovable?

He has made everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

I once gave up decorating for an entire month, just before the Christmas season! During a Bible study group discussion, Cynthia called me on the carpet. I was talking about how I felt my passion with decorating was becoming a distraction.

“No matter where I am—at work, talking to a friend, sitting in church or in the bathroom, I’m  always decorating in my head,” I confessed. 

"That doesn't sound like a passion,” Cynthia’s bold voice barked. “That sounds like an addiction!" 

Ouch! Did she have to be so honest?

As much as her words stung, Cynthia is the kind of friend we all need...a friend who will tell you the truth even if it's not what you want to hear. I knew right then drastic measures were necessary. In the heat of the moment, I made one of the craziest vows I've ever made....in the presence of several witnesses no less. I vowed to go on a crash decorating diet for a whole month! No Hobby Lobby, no antique stores, no estate sales or shopping, not even looking at magazines! This decorating diva needed a decorating detox.

At first, I thought I was going to go into shock. It was the first of November. I didn't know how I was going to wait until December to start remoldeling...I mean redecorating for Christmas. Although self-inflicted, this was the most cruel and unusual punishment I'd ever endured. But beyond the tremors and shakes, I knew it was necessary. I needed to get balance back in my life. The first two weeks were shear torture, but when I got into the third week, I started to notice the return of sanity and at the end of December, my peace increased and I regained a sense of normality. It was December 1st and I honestly didn't even care if my house was decorated for Christmas. In fact, my kids had to beg me to put up the tree. 

This decorating detox was five years ago. Truth is, I still love to decorate, but it's no longer an obsession. (Just don't ask my husband. His definition of obsession may differ from mine!) Seriously, I think that sometimes we have to give up something for a season to regain our balance and remove the clutter so we can enjoy God’s presence again. But when we do, He brings everything into beautiful balance.

Prayer: Lord, Thank you for your love and care for me. Please help me realize when my passions are interferring with my relationship with you. Help me regain my focus so you can bring balance back to my life.  In Christ's name I pray. Amen.

Questions to Ponder:

How can you tell when your hobbies or passions are getting out of balance?

When your life is off balanae, do you have a mentor or friend who will be honest with you and help you find ways to get your spiritual relationship restored? 

Have you ever surrendered something in order to regain balance? If so, describe how it helped you retore your priorities.

H

God equips you with His grace and strength when you need it, not before hand. Grace is a lot like the manna God gave the Israelites to feed them in the desert. Manna was a supernatural provision of bread God provided every morning to feed His people, but they still had to go out and gather it. Some gathered much and some gathered little, but when it was measured, he who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little. Each one had as much as he needed (Exodus 16:18). That’s how His grace works, too. No matter how much you get, it’s always exactly the right amount. It’s never too much and it’s never too little.

But check this out: Manna can spoil. When the Israelites gathered too much and tried to save the leftovers for the next day, in the morning it was full of maggots and began to smell (Exodus 16:20).

Hmm… I think God is trying to say something here. He wants us to depend on Him daily. He doesn’t want us to hoard what we need. In order to be good, manna has to be fresh. That begs the question:

Can grace can spoil too?

We don’t always need the same amount of grace each day. Some days are a breeze and some days are a bomb, but God meets our needs each day with just the right amount. His grace for each of us based on our situation on an as-needed basis. He measures our needs and then supplies them. When we need more grace, He pours it out accordingly. No matter how big or small our situation is, His grace is always sufficient for our own areas of need.

That’s why He never gives grace early and why it does no good to store it up. You can only receive it when you need it. Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning. So next time you’re afraid of what the future holds, remember, God’s grace rains down from heaven every morning. All you have to do is take it. 

Questions to Ponder:

Has there ever been a time in your life when you felt completely surrounded by God's grace? How did it empower you to endure?

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. How does this verse encourage you to react to difficulties differently?

Tell about someone you know and how their journey through difficulties has helped you see God's goodness and given you hope for your own time of need.

D

You'd think I'd have learned by now...when I wrestle with waiting, it has the opposite effect. Instead of being still and waiting patiently for Him to work, I try harder. Instead of ceasing to strive, I amp up. I perform. I perfect.

Then I get frustrated. And that's when my bomberang verse slaps me in the face again!

While praying for a New Year's revelation, I finally understood something I'm sure the Lord has been trying to show me for quite some time. It's a small thought shift really. It's kind of embarrasing to admit that it's taken me so long to realize such an elementary principle. I guess that's usually the way it is when we finally "get" something.

Here's my great epiphany for 2013: Drumroll....

When I strive and perform, the pressure is on me to excel. In addition, the results are up to me. When I operate out of my purpose, however, a shift occurs. The pressure is off of me and the results are up to God. Then I can relax and enjoy the process. I can appreciate the scenery on the journey, not just the final destination.

So from now on, I'm going to cease striving. Instead of trying to perform, I'm going to operate out of my passion and purpose. He has created me uniquely to fulfill a purpose and if I allow Him to direct and steer my life, He will bring it to pass. He's just been waiting for me to get out of the way!

Prayer: Father, please help me to be still and listen to your voice. Help me to discard my stubbornness and impatience. I waste so much time and effort when I try to do things my own way. Thank you that you always promise to direct my paths. You are so faithful! Amen.

Questions to Ponder:

1.     Which song best describes your patience level?

• I'm still pretty stubborn. Fleetwood Mac's Go Your Own Way nails me.

• I go back and forth. Sometimes I lead. Sometimes I follow. Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts pretty much pegs me.

• I've been gripping the steering wheel too hard. I'm ready for God to take control. For me, it's Jesus Take the Wheel by Carrie Underwood

• Me and God? We're like Ashford & Simpson's Solid as a Rock.

2.     In what areas do you need to cease striving?

3.     Psalm 37:7a says this: Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act (NLT).

        The phrase “wait patiently” comes from the Hebrew word chuwl which means to dance, to be brought forth, to wait longingly, to be made to bear. How does this definition change your perspective of waiting? 

Scriptures to Ponder:

• The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.  Exodus 14:14
• Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!  1 Sam 12:13
• Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. Psalm 62:5

• But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:2

A

I turned back to my devotional. Cats can’t talk but God can. I heard His message loud and clear:

That is how your posture should be against your own enemy.

God uses all kinds of pictures to teach.

When circumstances or people threaten you or try to scare you off track, when everything looks like chaos, you have to have the vision of God. You need His vision to see past the obvious and to keep focused on your journey. You need His vision to see past what is right in front of your face and see through to what is on the other side.

If your issues are boomerang issues that keep coming back no matter how hard you try to escape, ask yourself these questions: Is God allowing this adversity? Is He using this issue because He is trying to accomplish something in me? If so, ask God to show you what He is trying to do. This is so opposite of what the world teaches, but adversity is the material God uses to mold us into His image. God is in the middle of chaos. He uses chaos to create. When the world was without form and darkness hovered over the waters of the deep (Gen 1), He saw past the emptiness and confusion. He created something out of nothing and He still does that today!

It’s not easy to see things from God’s perspective. Capturing his vision is like being able to see the image in a 3D picture. It takes a lot of focus and relaxed concentration (a sort of contradiction in itself) to be able to see what’s behind the obvious. What is past the initial reality? What is beyond the first dimension? Then we have to choose to get our vision in alignment with what is beyond our present reality so that we can get into agreement with what God wants to accomplish in the future.

He allows adversity to accomplish His purposes. He makes beauty out of ashes. He creates a pearl from an irritant. He creates a diamond out of a lump of coal and tremendous pressure. Likewise, adversity comes to strengthen us. But often we choose to back down and run the other way. We all get a second chance though. When we run away from God’s obstacle course, He will reposition us for another. We can’t escape His will for us, which is to mold us into the image of his son. Until he sees Jesus in us, we are a work in progress. Surrender your life to the Potter. When we sit at His wheel. He molds our lump of clay into a beautiful vessel.

Prayer: Father, help me to capture your vision and persepective. May your Holy Spirit alert me when I am easy prey to the enemy's schemes. And when I resist your work in the midst of difficulties, help me to surrender and trust that you are working circumstances out for my good.  In Jesus name. Amen.

Questions to Ponder:

1. What circumstances are you facing that you need God’s vision for?
2. Do you think God is allowing your adversity? If so, what do you think He is trying to accomplish in you through your difficulties?
3. How can you tell the difference between adversity God is allowing and an attack from the enemy?
4. Describe a time when you were able to see beyond your present difficulties. How did you capture God's vision to endure? How did it affect the outcome?

Neon nights were never the same after that. The conviction battled my flesh. How much could I hang out with the world before the world took over? Exactly how far could I stray before I was given over to my own evil desires? Where was the line? If I only knew where it was, I would be sure not to cross it.

I searched for months, but never found the line. Like the stroke of midnight at Cinderella’s ball, my time in Cowboy Land was about to expire.

I couldn’t have the same kind of fun amid conviction, but I didn’t know how to let go. If I stayed home and tried to be “good” I was miserable. The lure of Wranglers and romance taunted my heart like a magnetic asteroid. I was in certain withdrawal.

Denying my addiction wasn’t easy. To be honest, when I started hanging out with my Christian friends on the weekends, I was completely bored. They did boring things. Where was the party? It was like going on a crash diet. I may have been with the Christians, but my heart longed for the cowboys. I still craved neon.

Like a diet, however, my taste buds eventually began to change. I use the term eventually in its loosest sense. I didn’t get seduced overnight and I didn’t get healthy overnight either. It took diligence and prayer, but my desires gradually changed. The more I denied myself things that were not healthy for my soul, the more I began to crave spiritual things. When you have a diet of pure sugar, your body craves more. That’s the deception of overindulgence.  But when you begin to restrain yourself, what you once craved will now send you into shock. Too much sugar becomes toxic.

The same thing happened to me. What was once appealing now became appalling. Neon cowboys became nauseating. My experience taught me the wisdom of an old Cherokee fable: What we feed grows. What we starve dies.

Today I’ve abandoned the darkness and decided to let my light shine. I no longer wait around for dark-thirty. Instead, I live life 24/7. I’d rather share the hope of the gospel and the goodness of God than get drunk on false promises and the lure of romance. Truth be known, I’m still addicted to love, but I’ve changed dance partners. Now the joy of the Lord is my strength. That’s what happens when we trade our neon nights for His glorious days.  

Question to Ponder:

What about you? Is the world luring you away from your relationship with Christ? I urge you to repent and surrender your heart to him. His love never fails!!

Prayer: Dear Lord, Please forgive me for the times my heart has wandered into the path of temptation. Help me keep a guard over my heart that I may not fall prey to the enemies schemes. May I always remember that the lure of sin has only temporary pleasure, but in the end is bitter and sour. Thank you that life on your path gets sweeter and sweeter with each passing day! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

T

When others see you walk through hardship with joy, it makes them listen. It gets their attention.

1 Thessalonians 3:3 tells us not to be unsettled by our trials. We were destined for them. Destined for issues, hardships, difficulties and tragedies? Yes! Because in knowing Christ and the power of his resurrection, we have something to show the world. We have access to faith, joy, love and peace in the midst of difficulties. That speaks. People listen when they see how we respond in the middle of adversity. They take notice when they see us walking through a storm with the presence of God.

Why do they take notice? Because peace is something they are desperate for! When they see us endure the issues of life with the peace of Christ, they will wonder…they will ask. They will desire what we have!

It takes manure to make most flowers bloom. Think about it...does that really make sense that a bunch of crap makes flowers beautiful? Nope, but God’s ways are different than ours. Likewise, our trials not only make us stronger, they are a beautiful fragrance of hope to the world. When you go through issues, rejoice. You are an exotic bouquet on God's banquet table. Let the world see you bloom!

I

They believed a shadow could heal. Isn't that is amazing? 

I looked up shadow in the dictonary and here's what it means: “shade caused by the interception of light."

A shadow isn’t possible unless it intercepts with the LIGHT! Why could Peter’s shadow heal? Because the presence of God was in his shadow!

When light intercepts with a need, healing occurs.

If you have a cold others can “catch” communicable diseases from you without even realizing they are around sickness. Likewise, when you become a carrier of the presence of God, you become contagious.

People sneeze and we’re afraid of getting what they have. Why do we think we can only get the bad stuff? If we can catch invisible things that are bad, why can’t we catch invisible things that are good?

The New Testament is full of extremely weird activities that Jesus and the apostles used to heal people. Why? Because the presence of God is contagious!

Jesus used spit to heal a blind man! The DNA of Jesus was in his saliva.

Paul anointed handkerchiefs! It sounds crazy, but the handkerchiefs were a point of touch that released the healing power. Healing power was contagious, it was communicable by contact.

Check out how Webster’s defines the word contagious: “catching; that which may be communicated by contact.”

If someone with a cold breathes on you, you can get sick. If we can catch colds, why can’t we catch joy? If we can catch the flu, why can’t we catch faith?

In Genesis the scriptures say that God breathed the breath of life into man and he became a living creature. The word breath in this scripture actually means spirit!

Likewise, your presence, your breath, has the power to produce life. Become a carrier of the presence of God. Be contagious!

I will do to you the very things I heard you say (Numbers 14:28).

If I asked the question, “Does God hear our prayers?” I bet almost all of you would say, “Yes!” But what about this question: Does God hear our complaints?

I believe he does. In fact, I would say, grumbling is a very popular form of prayer. The Israelites prayed daily, but their prayers were idle words and bitter complaints.

“Our soul is dried away (Numbers 11:6)."If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! (Numbers 14:2) Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? (Number 14:3).

Have you ever muttered prayers like that? I was better off back there! Why God, why?

God had heard enough of the Israelites complaints and he said this to Moses: "How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites. So tell them, 'As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very things I heard you say (Numbers 14:28).

I think my father had read this story in the Bible. When I was little he used to tell me, “Christine, you’d better be quiet or I’m gonna give you what you’re asking for!” Dad had had enough! So had God. Except for Joshua and Caleb, everyone of the Israelites that crossed the Red Sea died in the desert. Their prayers were answered. They got what they asked for.

Your tongue has the power of life and death. Your confessions cause circumstances to manifest. Your words are powerful so make them count. When you go to a restaurant and the waiter comes to take your order, you wouldn’t say: “I’ll have a piece of crap, well done. Cook it so long that anyone who tries to chew it will choke and die.”

That would be absurd. But how many times have you heard a similar comment after the food arrives. “Oh my gosh, this steak is a piece of crap! It’s so tough, if anyone could chew it they would choke and keel over.”

If only you could see God’s angels standing there. They are, you know.

The Bible says that angels are ministering spirits. The Greek word for minister means a servant or a waiter, one who executes the commands of another. I’m not making this up. It’s straight out of the Greek concordance. Angels are ministering servants, waiting to take an order. Angels are responsible to take your words and deliver them to God so that your request can be honored. Literally your words are orders, prayers that are delivered to the throne of God so be careful what you declare.

Now, don’t go feeling all guilty about occasional comments and jokes. God’s not waiting to chop you down. As soon as you recognize that you've allowed idle words to come out of your mouth, repent and retract your words. I only used the example about ordering a steak as an illustration, a visual shocker to remind you about how important your words are, but here’s what happens when we repeatedly fail to control our tongue.

Our thoughts become our words.
Our words become our feelings.
Our feelings become our attitudes.

By the time our words change our attitudes, it can get scary. Frequent complaints can turn our hearts bitter. It’s a gradual process that leads to death.

Your words change your world so make them count. What happened to the Israelites is a powerful reminder to us. Be careful not to let idle complaints come out of your mouth. God is listening so choose your declarations wisely. He will accomplish what you ask. He will do the very things he hears you say.

Pray this: Dear Lord, Please give me the strength to forgive and release ________ to you. I don’t want to be burdened by this offense any longer. I believe when I release it to you, you will give me glory in exchange for my pain. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord. Again Jesus, said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, I am sending you” (John 20:19-21 NIV).

In John 20:20 Jesus gave the disciples perfect vision. They were holed up behind locked doors, hiding from the enemy engulfed in fear. Can you relate? Have you ever been isolated in fear because you thought the Lord left you?

He hasn’t left. He hasn’t forgotten you. He wants to show up in the midst of your pain and fear and he’ll walk through locked doors to get to you. If he did it for the disciples, he’ll do it for you, too!

It’s strange though. When the Lord shows up, we don’t always recognize him.

The disciples walked closely with the Lord for three years in ministry, and yet even they didn’t realize it was him at first. Does that make you feel better? The disciples were human just like us and it took a little convincing to align their faith. Jesus had to prove himself first. It wasn’t until he showed them his scars that they were convinced it was really him speaking to them, but when they “saw the Lord”, they were overjoyed. They needed the joy for their journey because the Lord was sending them. He’s sending you, too.

You can’t have perfect vision for your future without the joy of “seeing” him in your own life. Thankfully, he wants to prove himself to you also. If he empowered the disciples in the midst of their anxiety, I believe he’ll empower you. He’ll walk past your own locked doors of fear to prove himself because he wants to give you 20-20 vision. 

What do you fear today? What’s holding you back? Hand it over to the one who has perfect insight. He wants to take your fear and transform it into a perfect vision for your future.

Do you need more help with forgiveness in your own life? Click below for your free copy of How to Forgive When Life Hurts.

After the accident that took Jake’s life, his older brother, Garrett, spent five days in Children’s Hospital recuperating from his injuries. He suffered multiple lacerations to his legs and a hairline fracture to his jaw. I fed him juices with a baby eyedropper because his jaw was so swollen he couldn’t get his mouth around a straw. Garrett was brave. Not once did he complain. He refused pain medication and I never saw him cry.

 see more pics that tell my story.