tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89588098335515941032024-02-19T17:26:24.669-06:00Claire and Puppy: Autism - One Day at a TimeClairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.comBlogger189125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-49273854731424631792015-11-16T07:00:00.000-06:002015-11-16T07:00:06.188-06:00Autism Support Groups<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a parent of a child with autism, do you participate or belong to an autism support group? You can easily find groups on facebook, the Internet, or maybe from you local school district. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can remember the years I thought I could handle being an autism mom all by myself. But my days and nights were long. There was a lot of loneliness. Feelings of depression and anger. Thoughts of uselessness. There were also the days when I thought I was the strongest person at handling Puppy all by myself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, what about me? What about me? No one ever asked how I dealt with Puppy and autism on a daily basis. I'd hear comments like, you are stronger than me, I could never raise a child with autism, he's just spoiled, stop with the time out and spank him, he's an angel and so are you, you're doing great, and keep up the good work. Those are the most common remarks and they are just too many more to remember right now. Mostly the comments were giving me a reason to be stay away, stay alone. Keeping my distance from family and friends must have made everyone think that everything was just fine and dandy. But it never was. There was never "me" time. It is all about Puppy, 24/7. No one really wants to hear how you are doing. No one really wants to know how you do it from day to day. No really wants to hear your needs and wants. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was wrong. One day a flier came home in Puppy's backpack. It was a support group for autism. Huh? What does that even mean, I thought. I wasn't sure but I was curious. This came years after learning that Puppy had autism. And suddenly from nowhere they were there, support. My confusion was that I expected it was an out of the school district learning center for Puppy. I wasn't going to let a chance get passed us without first checking it out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So we anxiously arrived to the meeting on a Wednesday at 6:30 in the evening. We were greeted with smiles and shown into a room with about 8 other parents and some kids. Some parents were there alone. Hmm? I thought it was probably a gathering to find out how many participants they could find to attend this support center for our kids. Nope, I was wrong. A person stood up in front of the room and started talking. She was also an autism mom, and welcomed the families. She asked us to introduce ourselves and our child. After that she said, "I see some new faces. We are going to continue going around the room one at a time and tell us, how are you doing?" I didn't understand the question. I thought she was asking for information on how our kids are doing in school. But the first parent started speaking and I heard story after story about the daily lives of the families present. There was some head nodding and uh-huh's from other parents...and from ME! It hit me. I can speak about ME! Someone wants to know how I am doing. I felt great relief, comfort. I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. And every other parent in the room knew exactly what I meant and what I was going through. And I knew what they were going through as well. There was this strange unity in the room. I hadn't felt that before. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Autism parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins, grandparents, anyone...please find some time to attend an autism support group meeting in your area or join a group if even only on facebook or over the Internet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also understood how to have a greater connection with Puppy's teachers and aides throughout the years. They were there all the time, I just never reached out to them for support. My distance kept me silent and alone. But not anymore. Help in the form of shared experiences was my new comfort. I slowly visited several local autism support groups and found the one that was right for me. I still go back to the other groups now and then, and keep friends with some of the parents from each of the groups. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Support is defined to give assistance. Different types of assistance come from a support group. As I attended more meetings, I was better informed as a parent, because some of our meeting included visitors or speakers, and introductions to therapy providers. I found out about programs for the disabled. Programs that I needed to sign up Puppy for to be on a waiting list for aid into adulthood. I found out about centers for self-help skills after high school. Respite and in-home training were also introduced to me. All this information was exactly what I needed and I didn't have to look for it, it came to me at my support group meeting. I wonder now if I would have learned about some of these programs if I had not joined a support group.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So now, I was able to accept my challenges knowing I was not alone anymore. I wasn't the only one going through the headaches or Puppy's behaviors. Now I knew that much more about how to share; and with sharing came experiences from new friends and families and I, myself was sharing my life and my life with Puppy.</span></div>
Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-45229142567931838022015-11-15T16:20:00.000-06:002015-11-15T16:38:04.160-06:00Implusive Behavior<div style="text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Has your child ever done something...out of simple impulse? I bet the answer is, "yes, everyday". Why do you think they did it? They did because it's an autism related characteristic just like echolalia or stimming, as well as being an ADHD behavior.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #545454; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 18.2px;">And what is an implusive act?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 19.2px;">Impulsivity</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 19.2px;"> (or </span><b style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 19.2px;">impulsiveness</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 19.2px;">) is a multifactorial construct that involves a tendency to act on a whim, displaying behavior characterized by little or no </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 19.2px;">forethought, reflection, or consideration of the consequences.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 19.2px;">I touch on this today because I was imagining myself as a young child doing impulsive acts and getting in trouble. Of course I was always reminded, "you know better." But does a child with autism "know better"? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 19.2px;">I can tell my son, "don't do that, you know better." But Puppy will probably it again, and again. There is no thought going into the action or behavior. And I'm going to say that Puppy definitely is not thinking about the consequences.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; line-height: 19.2px;">I'm including a link to a webpage I found that gives excellent examples and definitions of impulsive behaviors in children, any child.</span></div>
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<a href="https://www.hincksdellcrest.org/ABC/Teacher-Resource/The-Child-with-Attention-Problems/Impulsive-Behaviours.aspx" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 19.2px;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Child with Attention Problems - Impulsive Behaviours</span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lets' give our kids the benefit of the doubt that there may not have been any specific reason for their impulsive behavior and remember this when handing out consequences.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">However, as parents we need to teach, teach and teach with patience, there may be consequences.</span></div>
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Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-47412475945993626502014-02-11T09:00:00.000-06:002014-02-11T09:00:05.197-06:00Shattered thoughtsShattered were my thoughts from yesterday's blog. I guess I spoke too soon and jinxed things.<br />
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It started with the morning routine going fine, until I waved good-bye to him as he left on the school bus; came to pick up dishes at the kitchen, and noticed he had not taken his medications.<br />
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I called the teacher to make her aware of this and to please watch for any unusual mood swings. I kept my phone close all day. Whew! No calls from school. Turns out he seems to have done well both at school and at daycare.<br />
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I suppose he was just waiting for me. Waiting to be himself and waiting to show his true colors at home. Yes, I'm more than certain other parents know what I'm talking about. Puppy comes home after a pleasant drive and, bam! He walks in the door and those mood swings I was hoping to avoid came pouring out.<br />
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Puppy was upset. I don't know what triggered this anger. He really didn't give me much notice. But it was here and loud. Puppy was angry and his first outlet is cussing. I see him and he looks like a lion with his chest out and shoulders back and the look on his face is not one I like. I do worry, but my worries are not the same as other times. I am fully aware of how this dance is going to go. He is mimicking what he's seen and this anger is not an actual emotion he is experiencing. I know this is not easy to follow, but stay with me.<br />
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My guess is Puppy is home and already bored. So his mind begins to wonder. He sees the computer station in the hallway and is angered that I have put a password on it that prevents him from using it. And if you are reading between the lines, I had to do this to keep him from searching websites he should not be watching. He discovered that he can type a word by sounding it out and Google will correct his spelling. Wow!<br />
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Puppy has even learned how to search Google on my iPhone. But even more surprising, he has learned how to delete his searches. Yep, he's very observant. He saw me clear it only once.<br />
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And the moments go by with him screaming and hitting his head and punching a wall (no hole this time) and the only thing that angers him more is me ignoring him. But this is also the only thing that makes him calm down enough to regain my attention. His apologies follow and he is calm without any serious injury. My patience has paid off. Our evening is back to quiet and pleasant. I can get used to this. And even though this calmness is not always here, it is here enough to enjoy each other's company. Gotta love Puppy. He's unique, he's Puppy.<br />
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<br />Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-45244444581715141262014-02-10T08:10:00.000-06:002014-02-10T08:10:00.857-06:00ProgressIt's another Monday. The days are just flying by and I don't know how to slow them down. I feel like Puppy is rushing to get to a place where he will be all he can be. No, nothing serious like joining the Army or anything, just seems like he becoming a little bit more independent and not needing me so much anymore.<br />
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He's always one step ahead of me and searching for more. Puppy is doing pretty well in class and even his behaviors at home have improved. He is able to talk himself out of a situation, he will verbally scold himself for cussing, and the self-injury has been greatly reduced. Puppy is very aware of his actions and behaviors that he has even fallen into his daily routines like a fine tuned instrument.<br />
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It sure feels great to write about Puppy and he's progress. Positive progress!Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-85985265005106111112013-09-11T13:30:00.000-05:002013-09-11T13:30:00.866-05:00A new school yearPuppy is a freshman in high school. I was more nervous for him than ever before. He seems to do well with transitions but me, not so well. He's already on his third week and I see no signs of issues. But some worry is coming over me because I don't want to see him regress on account of there is yet to be a structured work schedule handed out in class and no homework is assigned.Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-16379251792945566632013-07-05T07:00:00.000-05:002013-07-05T07:00:03.284-05:00A good day all day<div class="MsoNormal">
Ah yes. It’s amazing how some days are like day and night.
After the stress from Tuesday’s events, Puppy woke up on Wednesday with a smile
on his face and his squeaks. That’s the only way I know he’s not grumpy. A
squeak in the morning is music to my ears. After getting dressed for school he
came down for breakfast and asked if he was in trouble and if his teacher was
going to be angry. I wish there was a magic pill he could take to wipe away his
bad experiences and only keep the good ones. I did my best to explain that he
already had his consequences and that he was starting a new day. He took a deep
breath and said he was done misbehaving. </div>
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He had his final day at middle school and celebrated with
pizza and cake. It was a good day all
day. Morning, afternoon and evening seemed to go by without a hitch. He was well
behaved, helpful with laundry, did well during his therapy session. He showered
before bedtime, and all was followed by the sound of silence.</div>
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Although I know that he probably thinks he’s being sincere
with his apologies, this is all a part of autism. We've been down this road
before and he can go days without a tantrum or cuss word, but I cannot forget
that there are constant triggers that even he is unaware of which will take him
to another place. It may be that he safely goes on a verbal tantrum; but it’s
a possibility that he might be looking to have a more physical connection such
as picking up buds or an empty box of cigarettes from the floor. I just hope he keeps safe without hurting himself. </div>
Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-84177578870313287592013-07-04T07:00:00.000-05:002015-11-15T19:46:18.789-06:00The threat<div class="MsoNormal">
Tuesday evening was not so smooth. Puppy had done great
through his speech therapy with Joe.
After their session they went over the rules that come along with
keeping his wallet in his pocket. I had
explained earlier to Joe that the wallet was beginning to have less value to
Puppy, and we were going to need another way to get his attention. Well, I wasn't
expecting what he said next. He explained that the next time he had a tantrum or
misbehaved, he would be coming over to shave off his mustache. And so it was said
out loud. Puppy continued to say
everything Joe wanted to hear and their session was over.</div>
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It almost seemed as if Puppy waited for Joe to turn the
corner and out of sight before he came to me and tells me he found an empty box
of cigarettes on the sidewalk and has no intentions of throwing it away. We
talked it out and I was not successful. Puppy’s anxiety was escalating and I
saw the signs. I sent Joe a text to
please come back. I waited outside for
Joe as Puppy ran upstairs and running around as if looking for a hiding place
for both the box and his wallet. And then he waited at the door for Joe.</div>
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Once he set eyes on Joe he started cussing and throwing
punches at him. Thankfully, Joe is a professional whom has years of experience
in handling these same situations and he quickly took control of Puppy and
restrained him as he talked him into a calm state. Then the process of following
through with the threat was placed into motion. Although Puppy cried a bit, he remained
under control and his mustache was shaved off. He apologized and said he knew
he did several things that were against the rules and that he was not going to
do them again.</div>
Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-64757078414357963812013-07-03T07:00:00.000-05:002013-07-03T07:00:00.720-05:00New behavior training <div class="MsoNormal">
Since March of this year I hired a guy with experience in
working with special needs kids at our school district. Joe was hired to work
directly with Puppy on his behaviors. It
even started with a really big bang, too.
On day one, Puppy felt the male presence in his space and acted on it.
He had a meltdown that first day. And I
was told to expect it and told it may happen a few times before he gets
comfortable with having him in his home. But since Joe was able to handle the
situation well and without hurting him, Puppy came around quickly.</div>
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As time went by, I saw a dramatic change in Puppy. He seemed
happier and was more responsive to instructions. He seemed to start letting himself take in
the world around him in a different way, with eyes wide open.</div>
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On our second month, the lessons took a turn. I became the
student. I was taught how to speak to Puppy. I learned to use a firm voice,
minimum words, give clear instructions, and show no fear. And it worked. Puppy must have noticed I was mimicking
Joe and understood to follow through as if Joe were talking to him.</div>
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However, even though Puppy was having continuous days of
good behavior without tantrums, his obsessions never took a back seat. They
were very present and we did what seemed to be the next necessary step, we
removed all wallets from his possession. He was given until the end of the regular
school year (which was about a month) to keep good behaviors and be compliant with his chores and
schoolwork in order to get a wallet. This would be a new wallet because all the
others were taken away and given to the homeless shelter. </div>
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Yet, being without a wallet took a toll on
him. He turned to his obsession of cigarettes. He was always searching the
sidewalks and trashcans for the empty boxes, or sometimes he got lucky and
there was one or two in a box. He even took to stealing them from the neighbors.
Yes, lucky us…we have smokers all around us. I was constantly checking his
pockets and drawers. He never took a break and my need to keep steady watch on
him was tiring. </div>
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The end of the school year finally arrived and he was hyped.
We talked about following rules for the last couple of weeks leading up to the
day. He could repeat all those rules and convincingly promise to do no wrong. I
waited until the Saturday after to take him to Kohl’s so he could pick this one
and only wallet that will remain in his possession for the rest of his years
until it is too old and ugly to use. He picked the perfect wallet and we had a new kid.
He seemed complete and happy. I felt so good being able to fill that void he
had. And that was when our lives went back to how they were before, but with better behaviors.</div>
Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-30627652960511361562013-07-02T07:00:00.000-05:002013-07-02T21:28:37.083-05:00ESY is overPuppy has survived an extra four weeks of summer school (ESY). Wednesday will be his last day, then he will be on a break until August when he begins classes at the high school.<br />
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Yep, HIGH SCHOOL. I don't even know how I'm going to survive this new journey he will be experiencing, much less wrap my head around how he will manage in a new campus, with a new teacher, new classmates, new rules, and so much more that has my mind doing flips.<br />
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I keep telling myself he is a bright kid whom has been able to transition well all these years, he'll be just fine.<br />
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I don't think it has hit him yet. Maybe not until he doesn't see his teacher of three years standing in front of the classroom, maybe then...he'll snap. I just hope this snap is a good one.<br />
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I'll be praying it's not the kind of snap that most kids have as they start to imagine how they can get away with not following any of the old rules, as they start to push limits with the new teacher, etc. Oh how I hope not. But he's a brave one, my Puppy. I'll have to wait and see.Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-11348658260137715482013-07-01T18:00:00.000-05:002013-07-01T18:00:01.708-05:00HellooooooIs anyone still there?<br />
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I know, I know. I said I would post more often but I got into a slump and filled with the 'blahs' that kept me away from the computer.<br />
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Things are still feeling like a roller-coaster ride, but it's not all due to Puppy and his behaviors. So much is going on at work that I'm getting burned out. I actually worked for three weeks straight without a day off and no one even noticed. Well, they noticed at work because they needed me there, but otherwise...the world still turned.<br />
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I shall make myself work through the 'blahs'. But I don't have to like it.Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-366253091457447352013-03-26T17:30:00.000-05:002013-03-26T17:30:01.953-05:00Ups and DownsWe are still hanging on. On to what? I don't know...my sanity, hope, heart maybe.<br />
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The last month has been rather difficult. I can't put my finger on it, so I can't fix it, or help it to be better.<br />
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Since the last time I wrote, we now have four new holes in the walls of our home. Two smoke detectors are hanging from wires on the ceilings. The tantrums are here and don't appear to be minimizing.<br />
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Actually, I think because we are trying something differently, Puppy may be expressing his dislike to the change.<br />
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I'll try to get back on here to blog about these changes. Wish us luck.Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-51132041686216266582013-02-22T13:00:00.000-06:002013-03-06T16:45:48.144-06:00A day off--maybe twoToday is Friday. I am home alone. The school district has scheduled an "inclement weather-make up day" and there are no classes. But because it's rather difficult to leave Puppy with just anyone, which has become practically no one, my boss is very understanding of this and has given me the day off.<br />
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And as for Monday, there are also no classes because they have a "staff development day" when teachers get updated on stuff, or catch up on work, or not really sure what they do. But that's not important, what is important is that Puppy needs attention that day. So my boss already gave me the day off, and the only thing is I'm going to need to ask for Friday morning to take Puppy to the orthodontist. So I might trade Monday for Friday morning.Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-82075544551264006152013-02-20T08:30:00.000-06:002013-02-20T08:30:02.356-06:00Tired evening and morningAll went well yesterday...until I picked up Puppy from daycare. When I got to the daycare and waited outside the door for it to be opened I noticed something different. There was a flowerpot with dirt and cigarette buds in it. Once in the truck Puppy started asking, "Mom, can you buy me cigarettes?" And asking why not, and begging and pleading with me to buy them for him. I can so understand how he may have seen the buds on his way in earlier, then on his way out; and this may have triggered him to think about the cigarettes, it's something that simple.<br />
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So we are headed home and talk about bad timing. I had to stop at the convenience store for breakfast items and just as I expected, it escalates to a full blown plead for me to buy cigarettes. He's screaming, tugging at my arm, and making tears to seek out sympathy. I say, "NO" and we get off the truck. He follows me like my shadow would. We go to the register and he keeps both hands in his pocket and just watches as I pay and head for the door. He follows with no more words. We are in the truck and he starts to speak. "Mom, you see how I behave?" He must have realized how he was acting earlier and remembered that his teacher told him she can see him in the truck with cameras. And if that didn't do it, I don't really care why he calmed down, just that he did. As we started driving home he started up again and continued to ask for cigarettes but in a calm tone, all the way home.<br />
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Once home he asked to go next door. I didn't allow it because he has already stolen a box of cigarettes from the neighbor and I assumed that was exactly what he had in mind. But the other neighbor was outside so I allowed that for a few minutes. A few minutes turned into about 45 minutes before he returned home.<br />
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He was in a good mood up until I reminded him that we had to get homework done and he had to shower before bedtime. Needless to say, none of this happened the way it had played out in my head. He said a few colorful words to let me know it was a "no go" and headed up to his room. Once there, I pushed for him to shower. He started into a debate about not wanting to and how he was tired and had a fever, etc. I was already tired myself and asked one more time before walking away to ignore his actions.<br />
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While alone in his room he was in overload and bit his finger causing injury to it with his braces and the cut was enough to make it bleed. So he calls me over to his room. I walk in to see the blood all over his finger and I remember taking a deep breath to help me continue with whatever came next.<br />
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After cleaning up and getting an explanation of how he hurt himself, he begins crying with tears and begs that he has a fever and can't shower. My mind is tired from the debating and I let him change into sleepwear and tuck him into bed. I get the silence I was hoping for...until he starts calling me upstairs again. He apologizes for his behavior, he promises to sleep and cause no more trouble.<br />
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I got my silence again and was already contemplating the morning routine being interrupted by some signs of anxiety and debate as to how he would be in trouble for not completing his homework. But then I cleared my mind and focused on my evening TV shows and went to bed tired as usual.<br />
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This morning was a repeat of the visions I had the night before. Tantrums, banging of the head on table and wall, hitting himself with closed fists, and the loud crying with tears were the scene at our home as I prepare my first cup of coffee. He was nervous as he remembered his behavior last night and begged me not to make him go to school today. After much consoling and some lying, I promised to write a note to his teacher explaining his fever last night to excuse him from homework. But I actually wrote a note telling her how it really went down. We have a deal where whenever I tell her about incidents, she tells him she saw his on the cameras so I am not the tattle-tell and they discuss his behaviors. I hope it goes well for him at school today. Good luck, Puppy.<br />
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<br />Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-63174781809547793242013-02-18T20:30:00.000-06:002013-02-18T20:30:01.958-06:00Weekend getawayThis past weekend was just what we needed. Puppy and I joined other family members on a trip to Austin, Texas, to celebrate my niece's 7th birthday party.<br />
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Puppy and I quickly packed our bags after I picked him up from daycare on Friday when I got out of work. We rode with my sister Cookie, to San Antonio that night. We stayed at her daughter's (my niece and her boyfriend's). We went out to dinner and had a pleasant meal with good company, my nephew Bobby and his girlfriend joined us. It had been a long evening with the two and a half hours drive, so after a little conversation we headed to sleep. Puppy was a wonderful passenger on our drive and was well behaved at the restaurant.<br />
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Oh boy. See this is what happens, interruptions. Puppy is calling me upstairs to tuck him into bed. This is why I can't seem to finish writing anything.<br />
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I don't want to keep you waiting for the rest of the story about our weekend, but I will tell you this...Puppy was the best he had been in a long time. Not one single tantrum, or angry face, or bad word. He was easy going, patient and we enjoyed our time out of town with our family. He received so much praise and recognition from me for his good behavior. I could tell that he was proud of himself and he was aware of how he had not been angry and never caused self-injury all three days of our trip. It was a great feeling for both of us.Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-43271006986155317512013-01-16T08:00:00.000-06:002013-01-16T08:01:06.845-06:00On the busMy days are filled with thoughts of trying to steer Puppy in the right direction. I try to think of ways to distract him from his wallets. I'm not very successful because he's tied to wallets as if they were an extra limb to his body. His everyday is planned with him either having the wallet in his pocket or securely placed in a drawer at home where he feels no one else will see it and take it (the latter is easy because we don't get many visitors).<br />
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Of course, his teacher and the assistants are fully aware of his obsession since they have been together for three school years, now. We seem to be working as best as we can to manage the wallet issues. But how can we continue procedures that have been in place and working between them at school with Puppy if there is an interruption in the middle?<br />
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This morning Puppy told me that yesterday he had asked the bus driver and monitor to buy him a wallet, a Nautica wallet, which is his favorite brand at the moment. Apparently, they are conversing on the bus about wallets. I had mentioned it to his teacher before the holidays. Puppy was coming home telling me stories of their conversations and I also instructed him not to talk about wallets on the bus, but the obsession is too strong and if he can find someone to listen, it's going to happen. <br />
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But talking and listening are one thing. Giving him used credit cards to place in his wallet is another thing. Puppy has had credit cards and business cards to fill over a dozen wallets. He picks up business cards wherever he sees them. And I am guilty of giving him his first set of used credit cards. But he shuffles between them, switches around as the different cards lose or gain his interest.<br />
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However, he has obviously made a connection on the bus and is receiving cards from the bus monitor. He feels so secure with her that asking for a wallet seemed easy and alright.<br />
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So, with four and a half months to go before ending this school year (not including extended school year), I am crossing my fingers that we can manage to keep our current bus driver and monitor after we explain to them that they need to refrain from talking about wallets or credit cards with Puppy. I know he can be demanding and down right pushy if he wants attention. But indulging him with attention about his greatest obsession may not be helping anyone, especially Puppy.<br />
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This has happened before and the previous bus monitor also went overboard with giving Puppy attention he wanted on the bus and now it is part of his private practice to repeat her words and phrases. She was his bus monitor last year and was moved to another bus after several requests were made and she didn't comply. The simplest things can be harmful if we don't understand the big picture.<br />
<br />Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-82687458234569881682012-12-19T08:10:00.000-06:002012-12-19T08:10:00.638-06:00Picking up off the floorYup, he did it again. Puppy had asked to go across the street to keep the old man company while he worked on his truck. I get so tired of arguing with him that I allowed for a five minute visit and no longer. It seems that five minutes was just long enough for him to search his surroundings and find exactly what he was looking for...cigarettes. But these were not just any cigarettes, they were those metal ones that come in screw parts to make one, probably for persons either trying to quit or wanting to smoke indoors while avoiding the smoke, I don't know.<br />
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So he had them in his pockets for about one hour on Monday. He could no longer keep the secret to himself and came to tell me, "Mom, can I talk to you?" I always worry what surprise is going to follow this question. He's a bright kid and begins to explain that they are not real cigarettes and that the man <u>gave</u> them to him. And this smart child makes sure he keeps them hidden in his room while revealing this information to avoid me taking them from him. I convince him that I have no clue what he's talking about and would like to see them. He brings them to me and of course I give him a speech I've repeated so many times before. I clearly see he's not handing them over, they are now his prized possessions. Remember that he is observant and mimics everything, so ripping them out of his hand or screaming and shouting are not the way to go here. I coach him to give them up without success. So our evening routine continues and he is finally in bed.<br />
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Tuesday morning he rises with energy and has at least taken my advice not to take them to school. He knows that unwanted behavior will remove him from the classroom on Thursday while they have their Christmas party. While having breakfast we discuss all the negatives about the cigarettes and by some miracle he decides to comply and he throws the cigarettes in the kitchen trashcan right before the bus arrives to take him to school. What a huge relief it was for me. The sweet smell of success is actually a dirty stinky one.<br />
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Knowing my son like I do; I waited for him to leave and went to retrieve them from the trashcan. Their smell is strong and I put them in a plastic zipper bag. I take them with me with the intentions of throwing them away, but not before I take a picture...just for you guys. :)<br />
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He had taken off the wrap of one so that it wouldn't look like a cigarette, he thinks things through sometimes.<br />
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Now to continue about how well I know my son. We come home last night and he's pacing around the kitchen. Instead of going upstairs to change, I suspect he's up to no good, and I begin washing dishes. Puppy starts to get anxious and even asks me why I'm not going upstairs. Since I'm not leaving he decides to be the most helpful child and asks if he can throw out the trash for me, and of course I let him. I gave him a few minutes and when he didn't return I went to find him emptying the contents on the driveway next to the outdoor trashcan. He's usually nervous when doing mischievous acts and is constantly looking around for someone to see who is watching him. After a minute Puppy saw me standing there. He started cussing like a sailor and told me to "get the f*** out of here" and some other pretty words. I assured him I wasn't going anywhere and was going to wait until he cleaned up all his mess. Puppy continued to empty and search the contents of the bag until it was empty. He was getting even more angrier and confused. It was escalating and we were outdoors for the whole neighborhood to hear his screaming echos, just perfectly. I saw how determined he was to find them and was prepared to throw out all the contents of the large outdoor trashcan to find them. I told him he didn't find them because I had taken them out and threw them at a convenient store trashcan. I could see he was angry, but glad he didn't have to dig anymore. He gave me a few more selective words and we came inside to clean up. He cried and sought comfort and sympathy because his plan and his needs were not met. I hugged him and consoled him all the time asking him to jump in the shower and wash off all the germs from the trash. It only took about 30 minutes this time and he was showering. The entire evening went by with only a couple of soft hits to the walls with his head. Threats really, but no major tantrums, yea!<br />
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So what happened next? He switched his attention to his biceps. And again, after a lengthy talk about muscles he finally marched himself upstairs to bed. I was so tired after all the drama, that I actually slept like a baby.Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-3987049272443599572012-12-15T15:30:00.000-06:002012-12-15T15:30:01.945-06:00A Bad Day...I heard this today and I thought to myself, if there was a simple way to express living with autism...this might be it.<br />
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"A bad day is a bad day; a good day is just a bad day waiting to happen."<br />
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I hope that when you read this you don't feel I'm being negative. I simply live with a teenager with autism. Everyday is different and yet the same. One word, one object moved, or just one look can and may bring Puppy into a state of anger.<br />
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I use repetition in reminding Puppy that he is in control of his tantrums (and meltdowns) and that he is the only person that can make himself feel better.<br />
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Whenever sparked to anger, he tells me his head hurts or that he's hot or has a temperature. This anger may lead up to a tantrum and I'm glad he's becoming aware of his own body changes and may even try to prevent tantrums.<br />
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Of course, recognizing the warning signs doesn't always work. If Puppy says he's hot and I say he's not...I take a step back--because here we go again. Will he or won't he escalate into a tantrum simply because I have not given him the answer he wanted to hear? Honestly, my answer to this question has repeatedly been, "A little warm". As quickly as possible, I then redirect him to drink a cold glass of milk or water and the moment is reduced to a calmer Puppy with him saying, "See, I feel better now...that's all I needed." Oh how I wish this was the result every time, but it isn't.<br />
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"A bad day is a bad day; a good day is just a bad day waiting to happen." Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-53374631455215332472012-12-14T08:30:00.000-06:002012-12-14T08:30:01.799-06:00Damn Obsessions (Final)Okay, I dragged it out and for some reason I'm not making time to finish this story off. I'm going to cut to the chase and ignore the details. Here we go.<br />
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Puppy went next door in the evening of the 8th to play with the kids since they were in the backyard. The family was cooking out and let him in. There were a few family guests there and all seemed to be going well. I had told Puppy to come home early because he wasn't invited for the cookout and to my surprise he complied and was home around 7 P.M. Then he asked if he could go to his room and rest then shower. I wasn't going to disagree and so the evening ended on a good note.<br />
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The next morning he was up at his usual 7 A.M. and dressed. He wanted to go outdoors but isn't allowed to unless I'm watching him. When a few hours went by and we had gone through our morning routines, he comes inside and sits across from me. He says he has to tell me something and is looking at my face for an expression. I see his eyes moving back and forth as if taking a hundred pictures. I try to make my expressions as exaggerated as possible so he can tell the difference, and he's caught on pretty well. So first of all I'm as calm as can be to make sure he confides in me. Then he hits me with the information that he has <u>another</u> box of cigarettes. He's been picking them off the ground for years. He asks if I want to see it and hands it to me with a grip on it so I need to pull it from him. He quickly says it's his and wants it back. Surprise! THIS box has eleven cigarettes in it!! I can only imagine he swiped it off a table at the neighbor's the night before.<br />
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I talked to him about right and wrong and very wrong and super duper wrong. I may as well been talking to the wall because he just kept shaking his head and asking for the box back because they were his, in his eyes. I hid the box during his pacing back and forth and managed to keep it away from him permanently.<br />
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My son, the cigarette snatcher, picker upper. This damn obsession is so strong and overwhelming to him. I wish there was an on and off switch. I am open for any advice. <br />
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<br />Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-87588326785669741692012-12-11T08:05:00.000-06:002012-12-11T08:05:00.949-06:00Damn Obsessions (Continued)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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So on this Saturday morning of the 8<sup>th</sup>, I am
having breakfast around 8 A.M. because that’s as early as I was able to drag
myself out of bed. Puppy had already fixed himself waffles and milk and was
ready to head out the door to observe any neighbor smoking that comes out of
their house first. I figured something was up, so sure enough he had run out of
paper to use as rolled up cigarettes, so he had gone through my purse and taken
four dollars, had rolled them up and taped them as substitutes. But I didn’t
find these until later that morning. So let’s just say he was a happy camper
because he was getting his imaginary fix on cigarettes.</div>
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<br /></div>
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In one of his check-ups on me, I was able to have him help
me with laundry chores, so the entire morning wasn’t lost. However, we had an
invitation from Ms. H to attend her son’s birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese at
noon. Let’s just say the morning flew by and we were at the party. The only
problem is that Puppy has been complaining of chest pains for a few days this
week so I figured I better have him checked. With Puppy, it could be anything.
It’s not easy to know because he doesn’t have the vocabulary to describe his
pain or location very well. He’s been going through so many issues these days
that I was thinking it was just anxiety or nerves because it usually comes
around the time he’s stressed about something he did. He was looked over by a
doctor at a clinic and he guessed it may be heartburn because test results were
normal. We picked up our prescription for Zantac and went home.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Boy, this story is really going to drag out since I’m writing
early in the morning and not having enough time. Once again, to be continued.</div>
Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-351991030080843402012-12-10T08:00:00.000-06:002012-12-10T08:02:22.441-06:00Damn ObsessionsYea, I am cussing. I am just so damned tired. I've learned to hide so much that if it weren't for prescription drugs...I'd definitely would have lost it so many times. It's almost like being in a relationship that's so demanding and sometimes overwhelming that you feel if you talk or share with others, you are complaining and no one wants to be around a complainer or whiner. So we, I, hide it and keep to myself.<br />
<br />
If it weren't for blogging I may have been worse off. I can vent or share in my blog. Well, this weekend was one of those weekends that was with great strain on us. Puppy started Friday evening with some debating. I picked him up from daycare and we visited with my parents for a while. But he was eager to get home. Puppy had his wallet removed from him at school the week before around Wednesday; and since then he was carrying his extra credit cards in his pocket to school. For lack of concentration, he had those taken away as well during the week. So when he finally got the wallet back, he had no cards to put in it. I had an ARD on Friday and the teacher returned the cards to me explaining how it all came to be that he had them taken away. So now I returned cards to him and he wanted to get home to fill his wallet which he had purposely left at home so that it wouldn't be taken away at school again.<br />
<br />
But it didn't stop there. Cigarettes were on his mind as well. He was nagging all the way home for me to stop at the Dollar General store so that he could buy toy cigarettes, as if. So driving by passed the store caused only more of a tantrum with him punching the truck window and dashboard. Not the first time, so it goes on for about a half mile and we make it home without damage to the truck or him.<br />
<br />
His Saturday morning just picked up where it left off the night before only it was now 7 A.M.<br />
<br />
<br />
Sorry readers, I just saw the clock and I'll make myself late for work if I don't get moving. This will definitely be continued, hopefully tonight. I have so many parts to the story to write about that I don't want to cut to the chase and end it. Stay tuned for more.<br />
<br />Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-1587829795028115532012-12-05T08:30:00.000-06:002012-12-05T17:06:37.085-06:00Boys and bicepsI am skipping on my list and jumping to Number 10 to discuss Puppy and his biceps. I actually wrote this on November 10 in my journal during my without-Internet-days and thought I might share.<br />
<br />
It's Saturday and today's already been a "wow" day. Puppy is obsessing with his biceps. I can only imagine he has seen someone, maybe his coach or someone else whom has large biceps. He's so observant and of course he mimics what he sees. Today and most of this past week it has been muscles and biceps. I got a few pictures of him doing just that, too. The only way to keep him from putting a rubber band around his upper-arm is to find another solution.<br />
<br />
Well, I came up with putting scotch tape on the fatty part of the arm to emphasize the bicep. It did the trick for him but I'm also hoping that the pain from removing the tape will leave a lasting impression...enough to not want to do it again.<br />
<br />
Puppy seems to find it difficult to accept my advice because I'm "a girl". It might be my own fault. I've used this excuse before whenever I wanted to avoid a subject or discussion. This smart child has learned to turn things around an throw it back at me, ha ha.<br />
<br />
Anyway, he's calm and liking his bicep (only the right arm) and has gone outdoors to show off his arm to Cody.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn99Xda3KMOwKJHYIK1DOpYTni45tOiVvEivcSDyv8Ap0kpjL9HqL5NT_OFJxCyopKFOzDDqxOQuBAsJ4VBIF0iguTK8mg1f9d1BCvHgEAFDWoCuKCCsB0aW4uFLMSXFNoYnItYIhcXFWS/s1600/arm+red.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn99Xda3KMOwKJHYIK1DOpYTni45tOiVvEivcSDyv8Ap0kpjL9HqL5NT_OFJxCyopKFOzDDqxOQuBAsJ4VBIF0iguTK8mg1f9d1BCvHgEAFDWoCuKCCsB0aW4uFLMSXFNoYnItYIhcXFWS/s400/arm+red.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I found some pictures of the first days when he was crumbling paper
balls and putting them under his sleeves, and of the the tape on his arms.<br />
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How can you stop him from doing something like this when you see that smile? <br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ciJFULRhEIeXQVbap3LfMP9UoduvxAh1_iqjLqvfYkt74S1D-AE4SBVEd7gofspmBX4paBEf8cOhqtg9FBYZ0Acskgur0mdRMeOoSU7Cxd-2fg3vaTCi1kZFVz3Os2J-PraG_DksWrO6/s1600/arm+white.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ciJFULRhEIeXQVbap3LfMP9UoduvxAh1_iqjLqvfYkt74S1D-AE4SBVEd7gofspmBX4paBEf8cOhqtg9FBYZ0Acskgur0mdRMeOoSU7Cxd-2fg3vaTCi1kZFVz3Os2J-PraG_DksWrO6/s400/arm+white.JPG" width="300" /></a> </div>
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<br />Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-69365107125382524132012-11-30T08:00:00.000-06:002012-11-30T08:00:01.945-06:00The New A/C UnitAs if the broken washer wasn't enough to interrupt our lives, on August 16 our A/C goes out on us...on a weekend. Luckily, I have a cousin-once-removed that works in the field of repairs and a call had him visiting by noon. He gave me the diagnosis and it was yet another unexpected expense, not in my budget.<br />
<br />
I made a call or maybe sent a text to my sister Margie. Puppy and I asked to move in to her home until I could get the A/C repaired. The plus to this move was that I was already going to her house to wash clothes so we were already spending Saturday and some Sundays there. <br />
<br />
Well, I don't want to bore you with details but let's just say the repair was not smooth. We bought one part, put it on, then the mother boards weren't communicating indoors with outdoors, or the new thermostat. We ended up replacing more than just a motor as originally planned, but on October 7, our new 5-ton A/C unit was installed completely and was operating to cool down our home that had been through several days of 100+ temperatures. It took about four hours to get the house comfortable again. <br />
<br />
Puppy and I were so tired from the wait during the installation in the heat that we just dropped and slept at home. We then went to gather our things within the next few days. It didn't seem like we had taken so much over to my sister's but it took more than one trip. However, on this day we were still going over to do laundry at her place. I actually considered just staying there at one time. But after seeing Puppy happy at home, I knew it was time to come home, too.<br />
<br />
Many thanks to the financial support of my sister Aud and my parents. And another big thanks to Margie for putting a roof over our heads.Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-67374737940164159722012-11-29T08:30:00.000-06:002012-11-29T08:30:02.877-06:00The washer<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Today’s
posting might not be of any importance to any of you, but on November 12, 2012,
I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Our washer went out of commission some time in July
this summer. Since then I have been going to a laundromat, my sister’s house or
my parents’ to wash and sometimes dry, our dryer works fine. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I
bought my home five and half years ago, I purchased a new washer and dryer set
from Sears. They are those upright front loading kind, not cheap. Well like
with most things, I don’t buy the warranty. So now I was stuck with a washer that
wasn’t working and a repair estimate that I couldn’t afford.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However, I
had left my old washer in a storage shed at my parents’ when I bought the new
appliances. It was in good order and on this day in November, my brother and
his friend took it over to my garage. It was the beginning of the next chapter.
He was also able to find someone to give me that third estimate and the price
for parts was more reasonable but not yet in the budget, so it will have to
wait.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Then two
days later, the washing machines were swapped out by another brother and me.
Thanks to them, and family our lives are a lot easier. With the new chapter on washing at home, and the light at end of the tunnel was met and this convenience is no longer taken for granted.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The going back and forth took its toll on Puppy as well. It was his chore to separate his clothes but then the waits in between washes was not pleasant for him and very boring. He would help now and then, but he never liked not being at home. He's a happy camper now that he can be outdoors with Cody. Whew!</span></div>
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Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-85231111589122931452012-11-28T08:00:00.000-06:002012-11-30T08:45:25.313-06:00My Internet ServiceYes, I fell into that category of being an Internet customer whom thought that my provider would keep me going if I paid every other month or actually, every three months. Well, they didn't. Funny thing is that when I called to make payment they were unable to find my account, and that's with me giving them the account number, address, phone number, and even my social security number. I tried for weeks making a call and getting the same run around from operator to operator in different departments and different states.<br />
<br />
Finally, my mom decided to set up her Internet at my parents' home. My brother Albert used to pay for it, but he has left this world for a better one so the account was cancelled. But that is another story for another day. So in helping her set up her account on the telephone, I took advantage of the operator and he searched high and low and found my account. It was in the "disconnect and do not reconnect" files. He said that I'd have to open a new account to have service. So I went through the entire process of applying only to be told that I was unable to have service with AT&T because I didn't have a land-line. But I didn't have one before? There was a nice operator who had done some slicks on my application the last time that allowed me to have an account; but now it seemed that I was not compliant with the rules and could not have them as a provider.<br />
<br />
So I had to give in and pay a little higher fee for having TWC as a provider. I even upgraded my TV package and I'm happier that I get channels I missed for years, I just hope I don't regret it when the bill comes in for payment.<br />
<br />
I am back and I will try to keep up with my blog. I just think that postings are better when they have pictures, so I take pictures of Puppy and think it will make a story, but then I sit at the computer and go blank. I can't make a story about the picture, it's no longer as interesting as I thought it would be so I don't write. I promise that I will sit myself down and hopefully get into a rhythm of posting. Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8958809833551594103.post-70800934961977731372012-11-06T12:00:00.000-06:002012-11-06T12:00:00.710-06:00My ListOh how I miss blogging. So much has happened since my last posting that I don't know where to start. Maybe if I list them I can get a handle on my thoughts and run through them and I might even place some on hold for later posts.<br />
<br />
1. I had my Internet disconnected.<br />
2. Our washer is still broken.<br />
3. I had to replace my a/c unit.<br />
4. Puppy and I are back home and sleeping in our own beds.<br />
5. I'm busier than ever at work with new duties.<br />
6. I paid off my truck!<br />
7. Puppy keeps pulling out his wires and the brackets on his braces. I got scolded by the orthodontist.<br />
8. Puppy still wants to make boxes with rolled up papers in them. <br />
9. My brother passed away.<br />
10. Puppy is still obsessed with wallets and adding muscle growth to his obsession list.<br />
<br />
That's enough to overwhelm anyone. And not having Internet to blog and vent is killing me.<br />
<br />
Well, I should be getting my Internet restored on the November 17, so mark your calendars, I'll be back and hopefully with more energy to write.<br />
<br />
Thanks for hanging around and waiting on me. <br />
<br />Clairehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14343469567002773835noreply@blogger.com0