Adventures in Candy Land

How We Cooked A Goose; In Pictures

2011-12-04T21:02:00.001-08:00

While traveling over Thanksgiving, we noticed this photo on the front of the latest edition of Saveur magazine in the newsstand. We were captivated and decided we'd like to change up Christmas dinner with something different and goose was going to be it. Never having cooked goose before we wanted to have a trial run before the big day and today was it.

Here's the goose as it came out of the fridge. We bought it from Los Gatos Meats and they were extremely helpful. We called on Thursday to order it and they moved it from the freezer to the fridge to make sure it was thawed and ready for us to cook. This goose weighs 12 lbs.

Goose is very fatty.

They left the skin from the neck attached.

Begin by removing all the extraneous fat.

Also remove the wing tips.

Wash the goose inside and out.

Make sure to dry it thoroughly.

Season with salt and pepper.

Cut a lemon in half and squeeze the juice over the skin.

Then put the lemon halves in the cavity.

Add some sage and thyme.

Place the goose in a roasting tray on a rack and fill the tray with chicken stock.
Cover with foil and steam for an hour to render as much fat from the skin as possible.

In the mean time, prepare the stuffing. Start with some quartered brussel sprouts.

Some celery.

Dice a medium onion.

Dice some bacon,

and a couple of apples.

Add the onion, bacon and brussel sprouts to a pan to saute for a while.

Dice up some cooked chestnuts.

Add all of the stuffing ingredients to a bowl with some wild rice and parsley, thyme and sage.

After an hour, uncover the goose, move it while on the rack to another tray.

Drain off the chicken stock and liquid fat from the roasting tray.

There will be a lot of fat. Let it sit for a while so the fat can rise to the top and siphon it off.

Remove the lemon and herbs from the cavity.

Drain the rest of the liquid from the goose.

Stuff the goose with some of the stuffing; placing the rest in an oven proof casserole dish.

After you separate the fat from the chicken stock, keep it aside to roast the vegetables in.

Place the goose, breast side down on the rack in the roasting tray. Add a carrot, some onion and celery along with some stock into the bottom of the tray. Place the tray in the oven at 325 degrees Fahrenheit for an hour.

Then start on the gravy. Melt some butter in a pot.

Clean up the neck and giblets, removing the silver skin. Saute these in the pot with the butter.

Add the stock and bring to the boil; turn down the heat and simmer for 40 minutes until it reduces by half. Add a little more chicken stock if you don't have enough stock from steaming the goose.

Prepare the roast vegetables. We used carrots, parsnips and potatoes and cut them into similar size and shapes.

After an hour, take the goose out of the oven.

Turn it breast side up and put it back in the oven at 475 for another 70 minutes.
When there is just 15 minutes left, put the casserole of stuffing and roast vegetables into the oven too.

When the stock has reduced by half, remove the neck and other giblets .

Drain the gravy through cheese cloth.

When the time is up and the temperature of the stuffing inside the goose reaches 180 degrees, take the goose out and cover with foil to rest for 15 minutes.

Take out the stuffing with it has browned a little on top.

Use a little of the goose fat and flour to make a roux in the roasting pan on the stove top.

Add the goose stock and bring to the boil, then allow to thicken.

The Goose!

Carve the goose, first take the legs off.

Then remove the breasts.

Strain the gravy.

Serve.

The goose meat is very dark.

So, what's the verdict? Well it took us 6+ hours of non stop cooking. We didn't sit down from the moment we began at 12:45 until the meal was served shortly after 6pm. It smelled wonderful while we were cooking; wonderfully rich and intense. The gravy thick and tasty, one of the best ones we have made; the roasted veggies were delicious; the stuffing had great textures, it was crunchy and fruity. But the goose was so very disappointing. We managed to do what I thought was impossible for goose. We dried it out. The goose was dry and tough. The skin was not crispy. We also tried the leg meat and it was a little better but still not enough to live up to expectations.

On review, we turned to our own bible of cooking (everyone has one don't they?) 'The New Best Recipe', by Cook's Illustrated. They don't have a recipe for goose but they do for duck, where they suggest breaking up the bird following the steaming step so that the breast can be cooked for a shorter period than the legs. If we ever try goose again, I think we'll do it this way. Unfortunately though, our experience today has left us a little exhausted and disappointed so I don't think we'll try it for Christmas day. The turkey is a tried, tested and much loved cheaper option that we'll cherish even more now that we know it's also better than other options.

MRI Update

2011-06-15T12:09:00.000-07:00

In this great age of digital communications, my health provider sends an email update after every appointment I have, summarizing what was examined and discussed. It's a great service and something I appreciate. For the first time though, the email summary and the in-person experience don't match very well. I told you about my in-person experience on Monday. The email summary provides a lot more information for which I am very grateful. However it's all in a language I don't really understand. Would anyone out there reading this be able to provide a lay explanation?

Report:

Medial collateral, lateral collateral, anterior cruciate and posterior cruciate ligaments are intact. Quadriceps tendon/patellar tendon complex is intact.
Medial meniscus demonstrates mild intrasubstance degeneration. Lateral meniscus is grossly intact.
There is a small amount of joint fluid within normal limits. A very small Baker’s cyst is noted.
The patella demonstrates mild focal increased intrasubstance signal in its articular cartilage, most pronounced over the keel and medial facet. Minor patellar marginal osteophytes. Trace focus of reactive subcortical marrow signal change deep in the femoral trochlea. Cartilage in the medial and lateral compartments is grossly unremarkable.

IMPRESSION:

Grade 1-2 chondromalacia patella.
Very small Baker’s cyst.

The Saga Continues

2011-06-13T21:34:00.000-07:00

As I begin to write this post I realize that it could have the same title as the one I wrote 2 months ago. At that time I thought I was on the path back to running soon and that it would only be a matter of time before I could see the track again. Not so much.

The past two months
At the recommendation of the surgeon I made an appointment at the Physical Therapy center in Sunnyvale. My PT Scott, unlike the orthopedic surgeon, spent the time to really examine my knee. He watched me squat on one leg, had me run on the treadmill for 5 minutes, watching my stride from all angles and tested my flexibility. He finished the exam by poking and prodding the knee, swinging it at different angles and feeling for swelling. He was able to show that a circle he had drawn in pen at the beginning of the appointment had swelled up considerably with just the 5 minute run and knew that the best treatment to begin with was an ionto patch. The patch is like a portable one-use tens machine. It is a plaster (bandaid) with a small battery. Scott's assistant iced my knee for 5 minutes, then applied anti-inflammatory gel to the patch and placed it over the swollen area. I had to leave it on for 6 hours and then just throw it away. Over the course of the next weeks, I attended the clinic twice a week and each time received an ionto patch. Slowly it began to burn my skin and after a while the skin around my knee became dry and hard.

Eventually, Scott pronounced me ready to try strengthening exercises as well as a light run. He instructed me to stop running if I felt any pain. At this stage I was dying to get back on my feet and well aware that I really hadn't been as good at keeping up the cross training as I originally intended. I could feel my fitness slipping away. I decided to try out the treadmill for the first run back, giving myself the chance to stop if needed. I ran 4 miles, and, Man!, was it hard. My heart rate was up in the high 170s the whole way, but it felt good to run again and to push through. There were a few tweaks in my knee from around mile 2.5 onwards but they really were just tweaks and I figured I was just being hyper sensitive. Unfortunately I was wrong and the next day my knee was swollen again. Scott didn't exactly scold me, but he sighed a bit when he saw it and we were back to the ionto patches.

2 weeks later and I was reaching the end of the PT sessions that my insurance would pay for. I was getting a little desperate because if I wasn't fixed by now I didn't know what to do. Before the last session Scott told me to run again and this time to STOP when I felt pain. I felt good going out but surely enough around mile 2.5 the pain returned so I walked back, frustrated, angry and a little teary. When I saw Scott the next day, he was baffled. He didn't know what was wrong and advised me to go back to the orthopedic surgeon to get an MRI. By now, I was feeling so fed up with the whole affair. Each appointment takes another week to schedule and adds another week of time when I'm not running. Summer season with TNT started and got going without me.

So back to the surgeon I went. This appointment was even shorter than the last, coming in at what must be a record breaking 90 seconds. The doctor barely listened to what I had to say, agreed that the next step was to schedule an MRI and left me to schedule it with his assistant. Luckily I was able to make the appointment just one week later and get an appointment with him to get the results the next day (today).

Today
So here we are, and I'm back to the title of the last post. No surgery for me. Apparently my right knee is in perfect shape, nothing wrong that can be seen on the MRI, no reason I shouldn't run. I wish I could tell you I'm thrilled with the news but it leaves me with more questions than anything else. The surgeon gave me a cortisone injection right into my knee in an effort to reduce any swelling there. He said it was OK to do that because he wasn't sending me out running on a damaged knee. If I can run now without pain, there's no problem. But where is the pain coming from in the first place? What if it comes back? Is there anything I can do to prevent it coming back in the future? He couldn't answer any of these questions. I asked if I should call his office or someone else if it reoccurs and he answered, "Let's hope it doesn't," so flippantly and in such an obvious brush-off that I was extremely irritated. It was obvious that he wanted me out of that office as soon as possible.

Is it really too much to ask that doctors have a better bedside manner than this? I cried after every appointment with him because I was so nervous and it meant so much to me. He either ignored what I had to say or talked so fast and gave me so much information in one go that I was overwhelmed. He asked me barely any questions and was so anxious to get out of the room each time that I was left blinking in surprise and wishing I had the chance to take a breath and think about what I wanted to ask him before he left.

But emotional trauma aside, the one thing I do know now is that I can run. I'm not further damaging an injured knee by pushing through the pain. I'm going to go to track tomorrow night and work my butt off. Keep your fingers crossed for me that my knee doesn't explode in response...

No Surgery for Me!

2011-04-08T15:37:00.000-07:00

If you also follow me on facebook you'll have seen quite a few posts recently related to knee pain. I wanted a chance to tell the full story rather than give a half impression with a status update here and there, so here goes.

Background
In early February while running my 18 mile training session in Monterey, I first started to feel some achy pains in both left and right knees. They weren't the only things that ached though and I put it down to, well the fact that I had just run 18 miles. 2 weeks later while attempting to run 20 miles my left knee pulled me up short with sharp pain that forced me to stop running. My right knee hurt a little too but I was so focused on the agony in the left knee that I ignored it. I went to see an orthopedic massage therapist, Jon, who was slightly appalled at the state of my tight IT bands. He went to town on both right and left legs massaging out as much of the tension as he could.

On March 6th I ran the Napa Marathon. My right knee started to ache about mile 13 but it wasn't so bad. I blocked it out and kept going. At mile 19 my left leg let it be known that it just wasn't going to stand the pounding anymore and the sharp pain was too much to push through so I walked the last 7 miles. I took 3 weeks off and then feeling rested and happy out I went again. For the first few miles I felt great. It wasn't long though before the nagging in the right leg came back. Without a race to fight for or a screaming left leg suddenly I realized that this right leg had been complaining like this for a little while. I stopped running; walked a little; tried it out again but it still nagged while I jogged.

The next time I saw Jon I mentioned that my right leg wasn't feeling too hot. He paid closer attention to it and started murmuring about an MRI. The next week I ran a couple more times, just 3 or 4 miles each time and as before the first couple of miles felt great but it wasn't long before the pain returned. That weekend I ran 8 miles and about an hour after I got home the pain in my right knee kicked in and didn't go away. On Monday Jon asked me 6 times to make an appointment to see an orthopedic surgeon and I gave in and made an appointment.

This Week
I was lucky to get to see my GP the same day but the news she had for me was awful. Based on where I was feeling the pain and the other symptoms I had she suspected a torn meniscus. I was really thrown. The meniscus is cartilage and would require surgery to fix. She referred me to the Sports Medicine clinic to see an Orthopedic Surgeon later in the week. I have to say at this point I was pretty upset. I have a goal to run the Dublin marathon this year in October and it's so important to me. But I'm proud of how I reacted. I went right out and bought a new swimsuit and goggles and a book on swimming for triathletes. I've been toying with the idea of moving to tris once I've run Dublin and I figured I could use the time while I can't run to get my swimming skills to a baseline from which I can start training.

So that brings us today when I got in to see the surgeon. I saw the doctor for 3 minutes, max. Still, he was so sure of himself and so adept at figuring out exactly where my pain was that I really trusted him. He poked and prodded for a few moments and declared me free of anything torn or requiring surgery. Hurray! I was so relieved I nearly didn't hear what he said next. I might have shed a tear, in fact. So, what's to blame? Well would you believe that it's my fabulously curvy womanly hips. (Thanks Mum!)

Because I have quite wide hips my femur does not form a straight line from my hip to my knee, instead it angles inwards a little, thus when I bend my knee instead of the joint hinging two straight lines, it hinges on an acute outward angle* causing friction and swelling around knee. The tight IT bands just pull the angle even more acute so they don't help. He prescribed physical therapy to help strengthen the muscles around my knee so that I pull the angle to be less acute and an anti-inflammatory to help with the current pain. And that was it. The fear from earlier in the week was replaced with a determination to do whatever I can to prevent this from happening again and to get back to the running. I think I'll still pursue the swimming too because cross training is probably a good idea anyway. Though maybe I'll start tomorrow because today I'm exhausted from all the emotion.

Dublin Marathon? I'm still coming for you. Everyone running it with me (and you know who you are) I'm happy to say that you don't get out of it that easily!

*You can sort of see what I'm talking about in the picture in this post. That's a photo of my knee, can you see how a line between the x's would not be completely vertical? That's because the top x is where my femur attaches to my knee and the bottom x is where my tibia is connected. When I bend the knee the knee cap itself is forced outwards instead of purely up and down.

Napa Valley Marathon 2011

2011-03-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

Last things first. I finished! Hurray! Here's what B and I looked like as we approached the finish line.

The first thing you notice is the big smile on my face. Yes, it's 26.2 miles later and I'm still smiling. The next thing you should notice is that I'm not running. That hoppy little power walk was the best I could do after my knee exploded. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We drove up to Napa on Saturday afternoon with about 6 bags and the intent to stay just one night. The rain looked set to persist with 90% chance listed on weather.com. Simone, our team in training manager had organized an 'Inspiration Dinner' at 6pm so once we stopped by the Expo and registered we headed to meet the rest of the team. And what an inspiration. Coach Tim made us laugh by pouring a whole bottle of water over himself in an attempt to demonstrate that humans are waterproof (and ease our worries about the rain); Honoree Todd told his incredible story of survival and shared some extra special news with us; and the whole support team of coaches, captains and mentors provided advice and good wishes and good humor to get us past the nerves that were beginning to wrack my body. I was never so grateful to be part of this incredible team.

On Sunday morning we were to meet in the lobby at 5am. I walked out of my room and saw this taped to the doorstop:

So cute! After a spirited, "Go Team" during which we woke up nearly the whole hotel, we boarded the buses and headed to the start. Lots of people were in high spirits and the chatter never stopped while on the bus. By the time we arrived at the race start at 6:30am we were all ready and raring to go. B and I joined a line for the port-a-potty and stood in the rain for 15-20 minutes in wait. Once we found our way to the starting line it was only moments before the gun went off and out we set.

We were both wearing big black trash bags in an attempt to stay warm while hanging around but it wasn't long before we were ready to shed them. At the 1 Mile marker we threw them to the curb and just embraced the steady rainfall. Neither of us really minded the rain, understanding that it kept us cool. In fact the rain lent an air of serenity and calmness to the whole affair as it dampened the sound of so many runners. The vineyards on either side of the road were hushed and the fog that shrouded all but the first line of trees on the ridges of hills was really beautiful.

At Mile 9 we saw the first group of supporters that we knew. B's whole family, equipped with signs, were there to cheer us on. As it turned out we were running a fairly good pace; good enough that Sean just missed us, having expected us to be there some 10 minutes later. On we went. B and I chatted occasionally, discussing everything from family to weddings to plans for the future. It's amazing how running long distance can bring people together so quickly. We passed Mile 13 and my knees were still feeling good. I was secretly dreading this Mile marker because it was where my left knee had given in on the 20 mile run. I remember at Mile 15 saying to B, "I'm already here and no knee pain!"

We knew our friends and family were also planning to wait for us at Mile 16, but we were beginning to hurt by then, so as we approached we told each other, "Let's show a good face. Head up, Big Smiles." We did a good job:

But as soon as we passed by both of us slumped a little. We were tired. There was a long way to go. My knees started to hurt and I spent a lot of mental energy purposely ignoring the pain. At Mile 18 we met up with Coach Megan, who jogged along side with a perky upbeat dialog. She asked how I was doing and I said my knees hurt but they weren't yet at the point where I was modifying my stride because of the pain. Unfortunately the pain increased quickly.

At Mile 19 I started to cry. Every step I took resulted in knife sharp pain starting at my knee and shooting all the way up my leg to my hip. Megan tried to gauge how bad it was and provide encouragement but I became convinced that I simply couldn't run anymore and wouldn't finish the race. B was concerned but also struggling and as we had come so far together I really didn't want to let her down. I had a moment of shame and disappointment and horror. I nearly gave up. But Megan was so amazing with her encouragement and advice. "It'll take you longer to reach the finish line if you wait for someone to pick you up than if you walk, at this stage. So you might as well just keep walking," she said. So I kept walking. And slowly slowly I discovered that if I power walked at a fast clip and kept my legs straight, the pain went away. I was able to focus on walking so fast that I could keep up with B's run, though every time we slowed down I had to grit my teeth and clench my fists to get through the pain.

Despite initially only planning to stay with us for a mile or so, Megan stayed with us until just before the 23 mile marker, providing encouragement and chatter the whole way. She saved us both and B and I are so grateful for her help. At that point I had tried to run and had been forced to stop with the pain several times and I just resolved to power walk all the way in.

In the last 3 miles, Coach Tim, Coach Kris and Mentor Erin all ran or walked with us for a while, providing encouragement and cheers. Despite the pain and fatigue, we kept our spirits up and reached the finish line 5 hours 20 minutes after we crossed the start line, with smiles on our faces . B ran her first marathon and I managed to finish despite a bandjaxed knee. We both had a lot to be proud of.

3 Days To Go

2011-03-03T16:46:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday afternoon and my marathon is just a few days away. My knee is feeling much better and as I'm in taper and haven't run much in the last few weeks I have SO much energy. I'm trying very hard not to use all that energy up by jumping up and down and I'm having some success. I CAN'T WAIT to get started.

I'm not sure why I'm not more nervous. My logical thinking brain keeps butting in and telling my super excited emotive brain that I should try and remember how hard it was last time, how much I had to fight for those twenty six miles and how I should probably be prepared for that again. But the little zinginess in my chest insists that what will happen in three days time is akin to going home to Ireland or Christmas morning - the other times I feel like this.

I'm reading a book written by Dean Karnazes about the time he ran 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days (yeah I know, he's completely nuts). He has a description of how a first time marathoner feels on race day that I read this morning and I wanted to share with you here today. This is how I want to feel again on Sunday:

"Crossing a marathon finish line for the first time is a life changing moment and, doing it, you prove something to yourself that can never be taken away. You walk away with hard experiential evidence that you are strong, resilient and gutsy. 26.2 miles is just a long way to go, no matter who you are. Any time you are able to take on and overcome a challenge of such proportions you come away with benefits in the form of confidence, self respect and fearlessness that never fade.

Even if the process of training for a marathon were not extremely health promoting I would still encourage everyone to run at least one marathon because of its powerful effects on the mind and spirit. After all, don't we spend enough of our lives doubting ourselves? Thinking we're not good enough, not strong enough, not made of the right stuff?

The marathon gives you an opportunity to tackle these doubts head on so you train hard, you dedicate yourself, you sacrifice. You overcome countless smaller challenges along the way but you know the marathon will ask for even more. In the recesses of your mind, a gloomy voice is saying, "You can't." You do your best to ignore this self doubt but the voice doesn't go away.

On the morning of your first marathon the voice of doubt multiplies, becoming a full chorus. By Mile 20 this chorus is screaming so loudly it's all you can hear. Your sore and weary muscles beg you to stop. You must stop. But you don't stop. This time you ignore the voice of doubt. You tune out the naysayers who tell you you're not good enough and you listen only to the passion in your heart.

Courage comes in many forms. Today you discover the courage to keep trying, to not give up. At the 25 mile mark, your vision falters and your mind teeters on the edge of consciousness. And then, suddenly, the finish looms before you, like a dream. A lump builds in your throat as you cover those final few steps. Now you are finally able to answer back to that nagging voice with a resounding, "Oh Yes I Can." You burst across the finish line filled with pride, forever liberated from the prison of self doubt.

You have learned more about yourself in the past 26.2 miles than you have ever learned in any other single day in your life. Even if you can't walk afterward you have never been so free. A marathon finish is more than just something you earn; a marathoner finisher is someone you become. As you are being helped away from the finish line, wrapped in a flimsy Mylar blanket, barely able to raise your head, you are at peace. No future struggle, doubt or failure can wipe away what you accomplished today. You have done what few will ever do, what you thought you could never do, and it is the most glorious unforgettable awakening. You are a marathoner and you will wear this distinction, not on your lapel but in your heart for the rest of your life. "

Inspired yet? Can I convince you to come and run a marathon with me one day?

Grin and Bear It

2011-02-24T13:16:00.000-08:00

I'm in pain today. I had another session on the massage table this morning and I'm suffering the consequences. Let me back up a bit and fill you in on the last few days.

On Monday I was high on the successful 10 mile run from Sunday. I wrote about how I was practically healed; all was well and wasn't I lucky?! It turns out it's not quite that simple. Tuesday night saw me at the track for the usual workout with our coaches. We were doing a step down workout, where we ran at half marathon pace or 75% effort for 7 minutes, then jogged to recover for 3.5 minutes; 6 minutes fast followed by 3 minutes to recover; 5 minutes fast followed by 2.5 minutes to recover and so on.

I was aware that I didn't want to start out too fast. Most people seem to have a tendency to get started too fast and then have to reel themselves in because they can't maintain the pace. I was trying to run at a pace I thought I could maintain for 7 minutes and not want to throw up after. So far so good. I jogged calmly for recovery and got started again at the faster pace for 6 minutes. That was when the right knee started to complain. It wasn't too bad at first. Just a tweak here and there. It was pretty cold and I still wasn't really sweating yet so I pulled back the pace a little and thought I'd just wait until I warmed up fully. I came around the track and found myself running at the same pace with a TNT captain so I stayed with him and chatted a bit about daily life. When the recover period came around I walked instead of jogging. 3 minutes later we were supposed to kick up the pace again and when I did I just knew that my knee wasn't happy. My right knee was whispering it's objections and though I ran another lap, I eventually gave up trying to ignore it. After all my pride at being smart about my injury last week I couldn't be stupid now. I pulled off the track to the coaches at the side and they shared knowing looks as their eyes said, "We knew you couldn't be fully recovered yet."

This morning I returned to the massage table and it was the most painful session yet. Jon worked on the fascia around my right knee, on my IT band, quad, calf and glute. I could have sworn that he hid a knife somewhere in his hands when he was working on my calf. The pain was searing and it felt like he was slicing through the muscles. It took every controlled breath I had to keep from crying out in pain or jumping off the table. I left, as before, with a bag of ice in hand and instructions to ice and foam roll for the next week. I'll see him again the Thursday before the race. Now I'm hobbling around the office trying to smile through the discomfort. The marathon is just 10 days away and I'm running a little short on inspiration today.

Dealing with Injury

2011-02-21T10:21:00.000-08:00

OK, I know I owe you an update. You're dying to hear what the state of the knee is, aren't you? (Come on, I know there's a least one person out there who's just the tiniest bit curious...)

With Coach Kris' help I made an appointment with an orthopedic massage therapist at the Sports Medicine Institute at 8am on Monday morning. Jon is a genius. He performed a few tests to diagnose the issue and once he had determined the problem was with my IT band he went to town with deep tissue massage. I watched as he screwed up his face and sucked in his breath, "Oh Wow, is this where it hurts?" With magic fingers he found the exact spot on my knee that was painful and was able to trace the attached muscles and ligaments and apply gentle and intense pressure to reduce the tightness. I left in more pain than I arrived but it was good pain. Luckily my work environment is casual enough so I sat with my leg on my desk with an ice pack strapped to it, several times for the rest of the day. I didn't run.

By Thursday I was feeling pretty good (and more than a little antsy) and under the advice of my coaches decided to try a very gentle jog, with strict instructions to stop the instant I felt any pain. I warmed up for 10 minutes, did the full complement of dynamic stretching I'm supposed to do for every run and then ran a steady 3 miles without pain. Success! Hurray! I was pretty chuffed.

On Saturday morning I had another appointment with Jon and this time he split the time between both left and right IT bands. Again I iced like crazy and then on Sunday morning decided to attempt the run I was supposed to do this weekend - 10 miles. Again I was extremely obedient and did a slow warm up, full set of dynamic stretches and then off I went. Again I ran without pain. I'm back!

So what can I tell you about this experience. Well, the first and obvious lesson is don't be afraid to seek help as soon as you feel pain. I know everyone says this, but as I mentioned last week, I also understand that it's really tempting not to. I am so much better off now than if I had gritted my teeth and put my head in the sand about this injury. Jon says that it's totally possible for me to address this purely through massage, foam rolling and stretching because I got it before it caused more damage.

The other lesson is psychological. I'm a little ashamed to admit that though I was really upset about the injury last week, there was a small part of me that was relieved. An injury would be a perfectly acceptable way of ducking out of this marathon. You see, 26.2 miles still seems like an awfully long way to run. And I'm terrified that I won't be able for it, that I'll give up, that I won't cross the finish line. But what I realized during the week is that I definitely won't cross the finish line if I don't even start. I can't let the fear of failure prevent me from trying. If I fail this time, I can always try again. Cliched perhaps, but still true.

Disaster!

2011-02-12T17:22:00.000-08:00

I set out to run 20 miles this morning. I've been feeling pretty good so far this year with a 16 and 18 miler under my belt. We headed out on the Los Gatos trail shortly before 8am, beginning with a short out and back towards the reservoir. The morning was cool but sunny. I ran with my awesome running buddy for the season, (let's call her B), and we started right into the wedding planning stories. 15 minutes into the run, a fellow runner several steps in front of us turned around, said "I can't help but hear that you're talking about planning weddings. I'm a wedding planner!" and it felt like I was set for the next few hours.

We completed the first 3.75 mile out and back and started off in the other direction towards Campbell for the second out and back. It's a trail I have run many times in the last year with both good and bad memories and I'll be honest that I was a little nervous about whether it would be stimulating enough to get me through the tough run I knew I was about to embark upon. Our 16 miler was in Santa Cruz along the cliffs above the Pacific Ocean and the 18 miler was in Monterey through the famous 17 mile drive, one of the most beautiful spots in the country. Los Gatos trail is pretty but familiar and there's no Pacific Ocean to gaze at and forget the pain.

It was going well though and I saw the 1 hour mark, 90 minute mark and 2 hour mark pass by on my watch. About this point I came across the last water stop and one of the volunteers (an utterly amazing TNT Honoree who just qualified for Boston last weekend) offered us Peach Sorbet. We ran to the end of the trail and started back towards the finish. I was definitely feeling tired at this point and struggling a little. I was starting to get a blister under my left foot and there were some pangs in my knee. I hadn't felt like this all season.

One mile later disaster struck. I took a walk break to eat some GU and when I started to run again a stabbing knife sharp pain fired through my left knee. It took my breath away with surprise and just how strong it was. I presumed that it was my legs seizing up a little as I walked. Sometimes, late in long runs, my muscles tighten up the instant I stop running so getting started again takes a bit of fight. I have to push hard through the clenching muscles to get them to loosen up again. I tried that, clenching my fists, holding my breath and just pushing but the pain seared through my knee again, pulling me up short. What was this? Where did it come from?

B came running up asking if I was OK and I said that I just needed to walk a little longer to warm up the knee. I tried a fast walk to get the heart pumping and after a little while attempted a slow jog again, only to stop in frustration and pain. The realization gradually dawned that I wouldn't be able to complete the long run today. B wanted to walk with me to the next water stop but I knew it was nearly 2 miles away and I didn't want to ruin her run too, so I pleaded with her to continue without me. Eventually she agreed to run on and tell the crew at the water stop about my condition so they could return and help me.

I walked the next 2 miles slowly in pain and frustration. I cried when I realized my race is only 3 weeks away and this stupid knee might prevent me from running it. I thought about how I've heard more than one story about friends getting injured shortly before a race and how angry and disappointed those friends were. I couldn't believe that was me. Just before I reached the next water stop a TNT volunteer arrived to help me. She brought me to a nearby parking lot and another of the TNT captains arrived to drive me back to the start.

I am so grateful for the fact that I had the support of the Team to help me through this. I really can't say enough good things about the support crew. Despite my sniffles, the coaches received me arriving back to base in a car with hugs and sympathy (causing a few more sniffles themselves). Honoree Todd offered an ice pack right away and a story of when the same thing happened to him right before his Napa Marathon 2 years ago. He ran it successfully. He also gave me some tape and instructions for how to tape up my knee for support. Coach Tim described his knee support and explained how it helps the Patella to track correctly and Coach Kris offered to make me an appointment this week at her Sports Medicine clinic. Everyone offered so much support that I really felt better by the time I hobbled towards my car. There's a chance this won't stop me from running the Marathon. A chance.

I usually view people who try to run through injury with disdain. Why would you ignore the advice of a professional? Why would think you can just ignore a problem. If I've heard it once, I've heard it a million times; If you catch an injury early, it's much easier to treat. If you ignore it you risk inflaming it and making it much worse, meaning it will take much longer to heal and you'll have to stop running for much longer. It makes perfect sense. Well, today I finally understood those people. I wanted to ignore the pain in my knee so badly. While walking on that path I tried to run several times despite the pain. While riding in the car back to the start I wished I hadn't given up. While talking to the coaches about the injury I wished I was still on the trail pushing it through it and wasn't the injured girl who returned in the car. Sitting here writing this I wish I was writing about the 20 miles that I ran and not this disappointing story.

I've already overdosed on several online articles and a couple of chapters from running books I own about running injuries. I know that attitude is a huge part of recovery; that I need to cross train to keep up the fitness; that I should treat with Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation; that I should stretch and foam roll the muscles; that I need to stay positive and not let it get me down. But maybe I'll try all that tomorrow because today I'm just disappointed and sad and frustrated and angry.

Running in 2011

2011-01-15T17:44:00.000-08:00

Enough people have asked me about my knee that I realize it's time that I updated this blog about my running situation. Since last October when I went to the physical therapist I've been very lucky. I followed the advice of my therapist and was pretty good about doing the painful deep tissue massage 3 times a day for the first couple of weeks. As soon as I was able to run again I got out there but kept the mileage low at first, running just 2 or 3 miles 3 times a week for a few weeks. Having my Dad visiting was a great help because he came out running with me. It was really nice to be able to bring him running along some of the trails that I use regularly in the Bay Area.

So when the season came around again I decided to sign up for another race. Napa Marathon was calling my name and I decided to give it a go. Having run one marathon I know that I can do it now, as long as I keep to the training schedule. The holidays brought a lot of challenges in keeping to my training schedule though. I went home to Ireland where the unexpected, unusual snow clung to the ground and the sub-freezing temperatures kept me inside. I tried to stick to the treadmill but even running just 5 miles on a treadmill is really tough. I fought so hard for each and every one of those miles and was thoroughly exhausted at the end. Not a good sign for my progression. When I arrived back in the bay area in the New Year suddenly a March marathon seemed a big stretch.

Luckily my first long run when I got back, last week, was 12 miles and it felt sooo good. The cool weather and jet-lag-aided early morning held perfect conditions for me and I swear I skipped at least 2 of the 12. So now the next few weeks are big ones for me. I have some challenging long runs coming up but I'm ready for them. I know I can do this. I have before. I just need to keep going when it gets tough and make sure to stretch and foam roll diligently.

I am raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society for this marathon again. If you'd like to donate you can find my fundraising page here. I truly believe that this society knows how to invest its money effectively and funds research that will lead to better treatments and better lives for blood cancer sufferers.

Looking forward in 2011, Daddy and I have made a commitment to each other to run the Dublin Marathon together in October. It still feels like a long way away and with quite a few planned vacations before then I hope that we can fit in the necessary training. As a way to keep the motivation up I'm also planning on running a half in San Diego in June with my oldest friend from home. Also, I just found out today that this blog has also inspired another good friend of mine to sign up for her first half-marathon. I love that somehow I have made all of this seem possible enough that people who wouldn't think of themselves as runners are putting on their running shoes and taking to the streets. You should too. Really, if I can, anyone can.

Getting Organized

2010-11-22T14:55:00.000-08:00

While doing all this research I decided to register a new domain name seanandclaire.com and set up Google Apps for this domain which has allowed me to create a new email address that I have been using to communicate with all of the hotels. Every time you email a resort with requests for information they add you to their spam mailing list and when this wedding is over I don’t want to be receiving wedding related email on my regular account for the rest of my life. This also allowed me to get super organized by tagging all of the emails with information about the island to which they relate. I use stars to indicate which emails I still need to respond to and which ones I have already ruled out. I also uploaded all of the attachments I have been sent to Google Docs and filed them in specific folders making it really easy to get my hands on any information I need quickly. This has been really important because by now I have emailed 40+ hotels and received some information back from all of them.

It's getting confusing.

St. Kitts, Grenada or somewhere else?

2010-11-19T20:27:00.000-08:00

My Dad was visiting for the last few weeks and it seemed a little rude to sit typing on my computer while he was here so I took a break from blogging. Now I’ll continue the story. Where was I? Oh yes, I had just been majorly disappointed in the resort reviews on St. John. Add to those reviews, a good friend told me that she had been to St. Thomas and St. John and wasn’t overly impressed. The high levels of crime there intimidated her, but she had heard great things about St. Kitts and asked if I had looked into places there.

So off I went again on another (goose?) chase for the perfect hotel. I emailed a couple of places on St. Kitts but when I showed them to Sean he said, “Meh!” None of the places really seemed to sing to us. I resolved to go back to the beginning and read about each island in turn. I spent a whole weekend reading reviews of the islands themselves and was surprised to find that the island of Grenada, (pronounced Gren-ay-da, not like the place in Spain) seemed to meet all of my requirements. The crime rate is low, the people are very friendly, and the capital city has a reputation for being the prettiest in the Caribbean. It is a little off the beaten tourist path so wouldn’t be overly commercialized and there is wide range of accommodations which would give my guests lots of options for places to stay.

This really seemed to be the island for us. Having been disappointed in the results of being too choosy up front I decided to just email every hotel on the whole island with requests for specific information and see who got back to me. Our hotel is here I told myself. Somewhere on this island we will get married. Soon enough, the responses started flowing in. The first few were not very reassuring. $350/night? I don’t think so. So, all of the high end resorts were out. But there were loads left to choose from. No problem. Next I received responses from some of the lower end resorts. The room rates looked much more reasonable but when I looked at the photos online and the reviews it was clear that these hotels just didn’t meet our standards – thread bare carpets, worn, out-of-date furniture and few amenities just wasn’t what I had in mind. There were still the mid range places left though.

One in particular I had high hopes for. It wasn’t quite as nice as my dream resort but there were great reviews online and they all talked about the wonderful family run establishment where it was so obvious that the owners really cared about the place. After a week without a reply I sent them a ping just in case my email had been buried among other mail and received a weird one liner reply that I don’t think was meant for me, “Did you reply to this yet?” Oops. I replied and gently pointed out that I think I received the email in error but that I hadn’t yet heard anything back from them and was still interested in the answers to my questions about rates and packages etc. Several more days went by and my spirits began to drop. When they finally got back to me, my first reaction was that of relief. The room rates were in an acceptable range. They could offer rooms at $145/night + tax and mandatory service charge. That was still more than I had originally budgeted for but I was beginning to realize that hotels in the Caribbean are just really expensive. Nice hotels at least.

That night Sean and I went through all the information they sent in detail. The more we looked through it the more my heart broke. The room rates might have been OK but the price of everything else was astronomical. As an example they wanted to charge $45/person for a continental buffet breakfast the day after the wedding! The drinks, the food, the entertainment was so expensive I nearly cried. In fact, I think I did cry a few tears of frustration and disappointment. How many times could I get excited about a place only to find out that it wouldn’t work out?

Sean was great, as he always is in situations like this. His strength lies in recognizing when I’m just at the end of my tether and providing the calmness, confidence and support that I need to get me back on track. He put down the computer and sat back. “Let’s think this through again, “ he said patiently, “What other options do we have?"

We were, yet again, back to assessing our original assumptions.But don't fret, though I didn't know it, I was pretty close...

The Virgin Islands

2010-11-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

Soon after I decided to expand the search beyond Antigua I picked up the book about the Virgin Islands. These islands are quite close to the US so travel to them would be easy. I started looking closely into St. Thomas, St. Croix and St. John of the US Virgin Islands.

St. Thomas is the more cosmopolitan of the three. Many cruise ships stop here and they have a big airport served by many different airlines. It's known as the Mall of the Caribbean because there is great shopping here but it's also supposed to be quite Americanized without a lot of local color or character. St. Croix is a little quieter, with less commercialization but it's also a stop on many cruises. St. John is much quieter than the other two. So much so, it doesn't have its own airport. To get there you must fly to St. Thomas and take a ferry to St. John. Rockefeller bought a large percentage of the island and gifted it to the US as a state park so it's mostly undeveloped natural beauty. Can you guess which island I gravitated towards immediately?

And... I completely fell in love with this one hotel on St John. Their website was absolutely stunning. Their photos of other weddings really captured my heart and I pictured us standing on that beach. One prior review mentioned that the place was so natural that a wild deer peeked through the trees during their ceremony to watch them say their vows! Wow! They described how they meet you from your flight and check you in to the hotel there and then, tagging your bags and transporting them separately. They bring you to their private dock in St. Thomas and transport you to St. John on their own private ferry, providing a glass of champagne on the way. When you get to St. John your bags have been delivered to your room already. I exchanged several emails back and forth with their wedding coordinator and started to commit my heart to this place. The room rate was reasonable and the food options and everything else were something we could work with. All that was left was to do my due diligence and then sign a contract. I knew Jenni would be on trip advisor first thing when I told everyone about the place so I had to go read the reviews before the final go ahead.

And, then everything crashed. The reviews on trip advisor were TERRIBLE. And there were lots of them. And they were very recent. And they showed photos to back up their complaints. There was no denying these reviews. The fabulous rooms? Were dirty, badly maintained with photos of mold growing in the bathroom and the ceiling of the bedroom. Many people talked about the bad state of repair of the rooms. The fabulous airport transfer? One couple told a story about how it took 5 hours. They were abandoned at the ferry dock with no food or water for several hours because the ferry was delayed. The staff were really unfriendly. The way they handled a hurricane coming through was terrible on the guests. They simply closed all the restaurants, stopped most of the services and left the guests to fend for themselves. That's a very different story from many other resorts in the Caribbean who are much better equipped for the expected bad weather. The bad reviews went on and on. The lower price tag on the rooms made sense. The more I read the more I realized I couldn't settle on this resort.

I was back on the search again.

Choosing a location

2010-10-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

Sean and I live in California but we are not from here originally. My family are far away in Ireland. Sean's family currently live in Tennessee. We met in New York and have lots of friends who still live there. There are a lot of places there to choose from when deciding where to get married. Because we'll be asking many people to travel to celebrate with us, we figured why not hold the party somewhere that everyone would be on vacation. And I love the idea of getting married on a beach. That's why the Caribbean seemed a great location. It's in the middle between the west coast of America, the east coast of America and Europe.

But that's just the beginning. As it turns out there are lots of islands in the Caribbean and I started my research without really having a favorite. I began by contacting a travel agent who specializes in organizing travel to the Caribbean. She writes a Caribbean wedding blog so it seemed a good place to start. Following an exchange of email, she sent me the names of a few resorts and the wedding websites of a few former clients. She explained that she would be happy to negotiate a good rate with a hotel and to arrange the travel plans for all the guests, provided everyone worked through her to arrange their trip.

When Sean and I checked out the hotels she recommended, a couple on Antigua, one on the British Virgin Islands and a few on Aruba we started to get a feel for the type of location we liked. I found the blog of an amazing wedding photographer on Antigua, Vanessa Hall, and this post with photos of Antigua itself just absolutely captured my imagination. It's amazing how a beautiful photograph can transport you to a place. Looking at these photos, I let out a deep sigh, closed my eyes and felt the sun on my face and my whole body relax. Perfect.

We got back to our travel agent and asked for more information about the resorts in Antigua and when she replied, I realized that she simply emailed the hotel asking for information and then forwarded their email to me. Wait a minute? I can do that myself. I don't need an intermediary. In addition to that when reviewing the references she sent us, I realized that the 'great rates' she negotiated with the resorts were way out of our budget. Her clients were asking their guests to pay $200/person/night. Yikes! My job often involves conducting lots of communications with many different groups on a similar topic, so I'm used to keeping track and managing different threads. I figured I could handle this so I decided to dispense with the travel agent.

But Vanessa Hall had really captured my heart with her photos so I was stuck on Antigua. I used the Antigua Tourist Information site to find other resorts there and Sean and I spent a few nights looking through the websites of hotels until they all started to look alike. In the next week I emailed all the resorts we liked and bought the travel book about Antigua. Soon enough I began to think that Antigua wasn't for us. The places we liked were all way out of our budget and I wasn't ready yet to compromise on our criteria and go with a place within our budget. It was time to expand the search again beyond Antigua. Sorry Vanessa.

Planning

2010-10-27T17:23:00.000-07:00

There is some big news I'd like to share with you. I hope most of you already know but for all those who don't, here it is. Sean and I got engaged! We're so excited.

The goal is to host the wedding in the Caribbean next Summer and since the engagement I've been furiously emailing potential venues with requests for information. There are a few challenges we're facing. The first is clear - it's a destination wedding. I am trying to plan an event that will take place many months in the future in a place I've never been to and probably won't get to visit until shortly before the wedding itself. It's subject to all the usual issues that any other destination bride has to work with. I need to depend on many different sources to get a feel for a location. I can't take the resort's website at its word because everyone has one horror story about a destination not living up to expectations set by photos taken to show only the best possible angle. Luckily with the recent rise in social media, getting a range of opinions is easier than ever. And as long as I'm prepared to put in the time to investigate thoroughly and vary my sources I should be OK.

But there's another destination angle on all of this planning. I also live very far away from most of the people that are interested in participating in the planning and want to be kept up to date with the latest findings and decisions. I come from a family of planners all of whom are dying to help and share the fun of soliciting information, comparing options and making decisions. While gathering all of this information about the destination (that I haven't even narrowed down further than "The Caribbean"), how do I share it with them?

Well, I'm going to try here. At least to the extent that I can. Here's a start. As mentioned previously on this blog I'm a book buyer, a manual reader, a believer in the wisdom of others and not reinventing the wheel. So what do you think is the first thing I did as soon as I said, "Yes!" and called home? Of course I went to the bookstore. Given that this is the biggest event in my life to date I gave myself free reign to buy as many books as I wanted, promising to donate them all to charity when I don't need them any more. So here's the book list so far:

Frommer's Caribbean 2011
Destination Weddings for Dummies
Antigua and Barbuda: Island Guide
Your Wedding, Your Way
Explore the Virgin Islands
Destination Weddings and Dream Honeymoons Magazine

Frommer's Caribbean 2011 is fantastic for giving a brief run down on each island, providing an overall feel for the place. It covers Anguilla, Antigua & Barbuda, Aruba, Barbados, Bonaire, The British Virgin Islands, The Cayman Islands, Curacao, Dominica, The Dominican Republic, Grenada, Guadeloupe, Jamaica, Martinique, Puerto Rico, Saba, St. Barthelemy, St. Eustatius, St. Kitts & Nevis, St. Lucia, St. Maarten, St. Vincent & The Grenadines, Trinidad & Tobago, Turks & Caicos and The US Virgin Islands. Phew! Who knew there was so much choice?

In the past 3 weeks I have emailed more than 40 resorts on many of these islands and right now I'm sorting through replies and trying to add up the different costs based on what they have quoted me. Many hotels send detailed outlines of all the possible costs and options but with "All items are subject to 18% service charge" and "There will be a surcharge for each additional item over those quoted," sprinkled liberally throughout it is nearly impossible to know what the final tally will be.

I am slowly finding myself attracted to one island more than the others and have just sent another 10 emails to all the hotels I can find on that island to make sure I really understand my options. But I'm not telling you which island yet. I want to reserve the right to change my mind and that's harder to do when you've written it down and published it on the Internet.

Watch this space.

Knee Problems

2010-10-26T16:25:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of what my knee looked like after I left the physical therapist this afternoon. Physical Therapist, you say? Oh no! Let me be a lesson to you all. This is what happens when you don't train the way you should.

I don't know if you know but I ran a marathon in June. That's right, A Marathon. So therefore I can do anything now. I could rule the world if I wanted to. Running a half marathon, a paltry 13.1 miles shouldn't be a problem, right? I don't really need to train. Well I mean, I can run a bit here and a bit there but I don't have to REALLY train, right? Wrong.

Of course that's wrong. Everyone knows that's nonsense. Even I knew that was wrong and yet that's exactly what happened. When October 3rd showed up and I found myself on the start line of a half marathon I hadn't trained for I thought, 'I'll be fine', 'It's all in my mind' and 'I ran twice this before, I can DO this'. Well as it turns out it's not all in your mind. Your body actually has to do the running. And sure you can run through the pain if you're focused on that finish line but it's what happens AFTER that, that people don't talk about on race day.

So, on October 3rd I ran a pretty great time in my half marathon. When the pain started at mile 3, I ignored it. As it got worse at mile 8 I put my head up high and kept going. When my knee started bobbling at mile 11, I walked for 30 seconds then pushed through it. When I nearly fell over with the abrupt piercing pain at mile 12.5 I gritted my teeth, growled a little at the pain and sprinted to the finish. Hurray!

3 weeks later I'm still in pain. I rested for a week thinking that would do it but my knee got its revenge the first time I went out for a jog by flinging the pain in my face. I jogged for 10 minutes and eventually turned around defeated and walked back to my car. After a similar outcome the next few times I ran, I eventually made an appointment with a PT here at work.

During my appointment he watched me run, walk, squat on both legs, squat on one leg, rise up on my toes. He twisted and turned my legs and knees in all directions and moved my kneecap (patella) around and winced as it crunched a bit. In the end he said that as the pain was quite localized and given the symptoms of when it occurred and how long it lasted he thought it was probably a problem between the patella tendon and the fat pad. He recommended targeted soft tissue massage for 5 minutes, 3 times a day. The specific massage is quite painful so I'm really counting down the minutes but hopeful that it will help. There's no running for the moment either. Bummer.

I have plans to run at least one other marathon next year though and maybe two, so I'm furious with myself that I let this happen. Next time I am reluctant to go for a planned run because I'm too tired or too busy I'll read this post again and remember that every time I skip, I risk taking away the option of running in the future.

The Twenty Six Point Two Miles

2010-06-30T22:47:00.000-07:00

OK, I know I've kept you all waiting for this. The day itself was so overwhelming that it has taken a few days to recover and to revisit. It all started very early on Saturday morning...

My alarm went off at 3:15am. Yes, that's right. I wrote THREE AM. Very early. I got dressed and made some oatmeal and a cup of coffee. We met the team downstairs at 4am. Everyone had made such an effort with names on their shirts, purple ribbon in their hair and temporary tattoos on their cheeks. My Mum and Dad got up at that time too and came downstairs with their signs to cheer.

We got on the bus at 4:15am and I wasn't feeling that great. All the excitement and lack of sleep had me feeling nauseous and in general I'm not a great traveler so I laid my head back and closed my eyes trying to calm down. As such, I wasn't really aware that the bus driver got lost and we did 2 U-turns before finally arriving at the start line!

When we arrived we saw stands with bananas, bagels and water and a long line of port-a-potties. We were extremely early and spent the next 2 hours shivering on the sidewalk while everyone else showed up. The weather would be perfect for the race but was a bit chilly while we waited. Eventually the minutes crawled by and we made our way to our corral to line up for the start. We had learned that there were 28,000 entrants in the race, but only 7,000 of those were marathoners.

The race began at 7am, but it was another 30 minutes before we would cross the start line. NP, Laura and I noticed that the lines for the port-a-potties were now non-existent and took the chance to hop out of line and visit them one more time only to find our way back into the starting lines blocked. Yikes! We jumped over the barriers despite the officials yelling at us not to. Getting to the starting line of this marathon really was proving to be quite difficult.

But, eventually, about 7:35am, we jogged through the start and off we went. The first 4 miles were through some pretty neighbourhoods before we ran by Lake Washington for another 4. We joked about dropping in on an open house and enjoyed the cheering families on the side lines. NP was off to a flying start and Laura and I had to work to keep up with her.

Before we knew it, we met up with Sean and Mum and Dad for the first time. They were impossible to miss, standing on the side lines waving signs and shouting, "Come on Claire!" at the top of their voices. They put a huge smile on my face.

Next up were a couple of miles over Lake Washington bridge. That bridge seemed to go on foreeeeever, but the view was great and the extra breeze had a nice cooling effect.

It was shortly after we left the bridge and approached the finish line for the first time (only to run right on by, leaving the half marathoners behind) that I started to feel tired. We were close to the 14 mile point at this stage and with much shorter lines it was time for a bathroom break. Right after that we bumped into the greatest supporters ever and Dad even ran with me for a little bit. They really put the bounce back in my step and off we headed north towards Aurora St bridge.

From here, the route led us up onto a highway and then down into a tunnel. It was a weird break from all the cheering and noise of the city. I felt like I had gone under water because everything went quiet and I could hear myself breathing. I realized the legs were beginning to feel heavy. The next 3 miles north were nearly all uphill. I dug deep and kept the legs moving. At Mile 18 (soon after this photo) we turned around and headed back towards the finish again. Luckily we got to run down that loooong hill we had just run up, but even with that after Mile 20 everything got slower.

At mile 22 I looked up and once again found a big grin on my face when I heard the cheers (though Sean tells me that this time it looked more like a grimace)! I had lost the girls and alone, I was really finding the going tough. By now, I was also consciously ignoring a shooting pain up the front of my right shin.

Mum, Dad and Sean were shouting from an overlook rather than by the street. I was about 4 hours 15 minutes or so in at this point and I really didn't know how much more I had in me.

Luckily soon after this, I bumped into the 5 hour pacer. Pacers hold signs with the time in which they intend to run the race. If you stick with them you're guaranteed to cross the finish line close to that time. I asked if she would mind if I joined their little group and kept with them to the end.

The next 4 miles are a blur. I kept thinking that I wouldn't be able to go any farther and somehow kept managing to keep going. It was really everything I had, absolutely every little piece of energy and will power and determination I could wrench from my body that went into those last miles. I crossed the line in 5 hours and 2 minutes.

Immediately after I crossed the line I was handed a bottle of water and a medal. It was all I could do to hold it together for an official photo. I hobbled over to the medic tent and managed to blurt out, "I hurt" just as the tears started to flow. I was led to a seat and someone strapped a bag of ice to my leg and draped a blanket over my shoulders. Somewhat in a haze, I made my way out of the tent and over to Mum, Dad and Sean.

And that's it. I did it. I ran a marathon. That's the story of my twenty six point two miles. Well, my first twenty six point two miles anyway...

My First Marathon

2010-06-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

I know what you're expecting. You're expecting to hear about the time I ran twenty six point two miles. That's a good story but you're going to have to wait for it, because first you have to hear about my journey to Seattle.

For those of you who know me, you'll know that I'm the organized type. When travelling with friends in a group, I'm the one who hands printed itineraries to everyone, emails everyone beforehand with a packing list and brings extras in case anyone forgets. With that context then, you'll understand my absolute horror and shame, when at 8am, 90 minutes before our 9:30am flight, I tried to check in at San Francisco airport, only to be told, "I'm sorry, you should be at San Jose airport." I had gotten Sean out of bed at 6am that morning; we had driven the 35 minutes north to the WRONG AIRPORT! "Oh my god, how could I have done this?" was all I could think. What followed for the rest of the day was a panicked desperate marathon attempt to correct my mistake.

At first I thought we would never make it to San Jose in time for the flight. We had parked in long term parking and had to get a bus back there and then drive in rush hour traffic back the way we had come. We tried to get a flight out of San Francisco instead. This proved to be a big mistake. We worked with the gate agent to look up all the options. There were no direct flights left and the option that would get us to Seattle earliest took us via Phoenix, way out of the way. We would arrive in Seattle at 6pm and it would cost $900. Yikes! The gate agent told us that there were more options from San Jose and advised us to drive back down there.

So off we went, back to the long term parking shuttle stop, where we waited 10 minutes for a shuttle. The driver was in fine form and joked and laughed with us and drove WAY TOO SLOWLY! Thank God for Sean who kept his cool the whole time, hugging me and telling me that, "Of course we'll make it to Seattle. Sure, we have all day and there will be options from San Jose." I alternated between quiet horror that I had made this mistake and weeping dread that we would not get to Seattle in time, all the while knowing that I had to conserve my energy if I planned to run twenty six point two miles the next day. Needless to say, there were a few tears.

We finally made it back to our car. Sean drove spirit-raising-ly fast and we got to San Jose airport in record time. At the airport, the woman behind the desk was moved by my desperate pleas for help and called the gate to see if there was any possibility that we could make it. There were a few wonderful seconds during which my hopes were raised but it turned out that we were just moments too late. If we had not talked to the gate agent in SFO for so long we would have made it! The next option was to get a standby ticket for a nearly-full flight via Reno. So be it.

The rest of the day was a flurry of running between gates, hoping really hard that we would get on the flight. We got the last 2 seats on the first leg, meaning the last available middle seats that no one else wanted because the people on either side were so big that they couldn't put down the arm rests. In Reno we made a mad dash for the Seattle flight, only to accidentally leave air side and have to go through security again. We ended up having a 3 hour wait there (enough time to watch some soccer and calm down a little) and then finally got to Seattle at 4pm. We dashed to the expo and registered, dashed to the hotel and checked in, and dashed to the pasta dinner and caught the last of the motivational speeches.

I felt like I'd already run a marathon by the time we got back to the hotel room at 7:30pm but really that was all to come the next day...

Alone and Part of a Team

2010-06-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

4 days to go.

They say that no one can run the marathon for you. Once you get out there on the road, you're alone and you can only draw upon your own strength to get to the finish line. Each step you take requires your body and brain to be in sync. You have to really WANT it, especially once you get to the 4 hour mark when you've already been running for so long and you still have an hour to go.

But I don't feel alone. Throughout the last six months I have received so much support from my friends and family. I can't tell you how much it has meant to me to get a card or flowers in the post, phone calls and emails from people who have run a marathon before and have good advice to share or IMs and Facebook comments telling me that I CAN do this. I had no idea so many people would follow the blog and be affected enough by my ramblings to reach out to me and lend me their confidence when mine was lacking. It's been the key to my ability to stick with the training. Every time I entertained the idea of quitting, someone would boost me up and provide the motivation I needed to carry on. Thank you so much to all my cheerleaders.

I'd like to share one note with you from a particularly special person to give you a sense of the strength that I'll be leaning on when Saturday rolls around.

You are the most stubborn, independent, strong minded woman I know. There is no one I trust more to reach the finish line. From day 1, this race has been about more than you as you have inspired those around you. I am so proud and awed.

Inspiration must be self reinforcing, because this certainly inspires me.

My parents have come all the way from Ireland, in part to be at the finish line of the marathon and here for me this week leading up to it. Having the chance to share the excitement and anticipation with them is brilliant and makes the whole event really special.

And then of course there is my biggest supporter. The person who has had to put up with lots and lots of non stop excited ramblings about running and in contrast the exhausted, demotivated days when I haven't wanted to talk at all. The person who has tirelessly nodded enthusiastically about pace increases of one or two seconds and who pumped me up with speeches about how I'm just having one bad day and it will all be better tomorrow when I'm sad. He has helped me walk down stairs when my legs nearly give out on Saturday afternoons after long runs and put up with an absent girlfriend on many evenings and weekend mornings. I couldn't have managed this training without Sean and when I really need to draw on someone else's strength on Saturday, I will remember that he will be at the finish line waiting to take care of me and that if I can just make it that far, everything will be OK.

I'm so close now, and I think I'm ready. Waiting has never been a strong point of mine, but if I can just get through the next 4 days with my sanity intact, I believe that I'll get to the finish line of this marathon of mine.

Wish me luck!

Twenty Miles

2010-06-13T11:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, that title means what you think it means. I managed to run 20 miles yesterday. I am really quite stunned, to be honest. I wasn't confident that I would be able to do it. Nervous about the impending run I didn't sleep very well on Friday night. My alarm clock went off at 5:15am and it was a welcome break from the restless snoozing of the prior 3 to 4 hours. I must have looked at my clock every 30 minutes from 2am onwards.

I got up, trying not to make any noise and wake Sean. I sneaked downstairs to prepare for the run. With a bowl of oatmeal with raisins in front of me and a waiting cup of coffee, I opened my laptop to get the directions to the run and noticed an email from my coach with advice about improvements to my hydration routine to help prevent a repeat of last week. "Stay off the coffee," he said. I looked longingly at my waiting caffeine fix and sighed. Instead I filled two 3/4 litre (24 oz) bottles, one with water and one with a light Cytomax mix. I would finish both of these before beginning my run at 7am. I also prepared the Cytomax mix for the four 7 oz water bottles on my hydration belt and stored 4 Vanilla flavored GU power gels. I was determined not to 'run out' of energy or water on this long run. Literally.

On the drive to the start the butterflies were fluttering in my tummy and I talked myself through the other advice I had been given. Don't start too fast, take it one mile at a time and just don't give up. I had said various times throughout the week that if I could only make it through this run, if I could just manage 20 miles, I would be confident that I could get to the finish line of the marathon. My failure to run more than 11.5 miles last week really put a dent in my confidence and I needed this run to be a success. A lot of pressure.

I was the first of the runners to arrive at the start. Several coaches were there and one of them reminded me that no headphones are allowed. He wanted to take my phone but thankfully I was able to convince him that I wouldn't be listening to music but instead I wanted to bring it in order to record my run and use the GPS to give me feedback about my pace and distance throughout. I was trying out a new armband (my armband broke on the run from hell last week) and an additional battery pack from Mophie that I'm hoping will mean that my iPhone will last the 5+ hours that it will take for me to run the marathon. I plan to enable the live tracking functionality of the runkeeper app so that those who can't make it to Seattle, but are still interested in seeing how I'm getting on, can follow my progress live online. Let me know if you're interested in following me live and I'll point you to the right page. If you subscribe to my twitter feed, I'll be tweeting right as I begin so you'll know when I get started.

About 7am when a few other fellow Seattle runners had arrived, we got started. We had a short 3 mile out and back followed by a long 17 mile out and back. So the first 3 miles were a warmup of sorts. On the way back to base we bumped into some late starters. Some of the people who had run the San Diego half and full just 6 days before had come out to support us. They turned around and joined us and I had someone to run with for the remaining 17 miles. I can't tell you how much nicer it is to run with friends on long runs than to run alone. Getting through those times when your energy is low and each step requires concentration is much easier when someone is beside you talking you through it or telling you stories from their own life.

We had 2 water stops, one at 4 miles out and one at 7 and a half miles out. The team captains who man the water stops are stellar. They watch out for approaching TNT runners and cheer and clap for the last hundred yards of your run towards them. They celebrate your accomplishment so far, supply water, electrolyte drink and energy foods and then encourage you to keep going. And they wait there all morning long. Yesterday it was really hot where the water stops were placed and there was no shade. Several of the captains had run a marathon themselves last Sunday in San Diego and were probably pretty exhausted and definitely still recovering. They are all volunteers. I really appreciate the support.

The sun was behind us for most of the way out. I followed my shadow and relished the wind coming from the bay. We ran along the water's edge from Redwood City north through Foster City and had fantastic views of the San Francisco skyline and the Bay Bridge. When I reached the turnaround point, 10.5 miles into the run I was still feeling pretty good. And then we turned to face the sun. With no shade and the breeze at our backs, it felt a lot hotter. Soon I found myself needing to walk for a minute every mile or so. I started to think about the visualization techniques I have been trying to cultivate in order to keep going. Omar, my running partner, definitely helped me by alternately helping me to focus on the running, and distracting me with stories. On our second pass of the last water stop, we picked up Rakesh and the three of us hobbled the final 4 miles to the finish line.

When reading about what to expect with the dreaded wall, I think I experienced it in those last 4 miles yesterday. My energy drained, fighting for each step, I think I physically depleted all my carbohydrate energy resources. I was reduced to making energy from fat reserves, which is a much slower process. Psychologically, I had already been running for 3 and a half hours and had been drawing on the self talk and visualization techniques for a long time. It's tough to keep that up and focus on just one mile at a time. On the last mile we rounded one corner after another that I thought was the last and right towards the end I nearly lost it when turning what I was sure must be the last corner, I still didn't see the bridge we had to cross right before the finish line. Only the encouragement from my fellow runners kept the legs moving, the arms pumping and the head up.

In the end we did make it. We jogged up to the applauding coaches and captains with smiles on our faces and a feeling of immense satisfaction. I had made it. I ran 20 miles. http://rnkpr.com/a6n070 And in 2 weeks I will run a marathon.

The Terrible Heat

2010-06-08T11:21:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the disruption in posts. I'm just a week back from a vacation in Ireland. I have a great post coming about running there but before that I have to tell you about my run this past Saturday.

The pressure was on. I had just 3 weeks left to my race and I was getting really nervous. I missed one of my long runs while on holiday and with the slow down in focus on running, I was feeling a bit stressed about the whole thing. I decided to run 16 miles on Saturday and 20 miles next weekend, leaving myself 2 weeks for recovery before the big event.

Knowing it was going to be hot, I got up at 5:45am. I took my time with breakfast and preparation and left the house shortly before 7 to start running about 7:20am. The first hour was OK. I wasn't very consistent, starting too fast because of the nerves and giving myself side pains that meant I had to stop and walk to recover. I missed my running partner. Even with the jittery run / walk pace, I managed a fairly respectable 5.5 miles in an hour. An average of 11 minute miles is pretty good for my long runs. But I was nervous. For the last mile I had been pushing very hard. The sun was beating down and there was no shade. When I got home I looked up the weather and it was 85 degrees Fahrenheit (nearly 30 Celsius). The heat hit me like a smack in the face. Despite bringing my hydration belt with four 7 ounce bottles of Cytomax, and drinking consistently, I must have been really dehydrated. Later, when I got home, I weighed myself and realized that I lost 8 lbs during this run - all fluid. (I know because the next day I was back to normal weight).

For the next hour I dragged myself another 4.5 miles. It was one of the longest hours of my life. My runkeeper data shows how I would work myself up to run, put everything I had into it, run too fast to maintain, and then have to walk to recover. I fought so hard for each one of those bursts of energy, intent on being positive, getting myself through. My body just didn't want to run though, every step required gritted teeth and determination. The heat was relentless and about mile 9.5 I decided to call it quits earlier than my intended 16 miles. I walked despondently for a mile, got up the energy to jog for a little bit and then nearly crawled to my car.

It was without a doubt the worst experience running I've had throughout this whole training. Ever in fact. 3 weeks before the marathon.

Now I'm saying that it was the heat. Of course it was the heat. Knowing how dehydrated I was and what the temperature was makes it pretty clear. Seattle won't be that hot and I have managed so much better in the past that I'm writing this off as a one off. Still, I'm rattled. What if after ALL of this, I don't get to the finish line?

Seattle Course Description

2010-05-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while. Since my 16 mile run my general motivation has been a bit lower and I'm struggling to maintain the same level of enthusiasm about the training at the moment. Running 16 miles felt like 'a really long way' (tm). And somewhere in my mind I signed up to run 'a really long way' and so something clicked and part of me felt like I had achieved my goal. Even though it's actually 10 miles short of my actual goal. 26.2 miles sounds quite ridiculous to me right now. Way beyond my ability. For the first time, I can imagine that I won't make it and that thought is making all running tougher than it has been up to now.

So in an effort to pump up my spirits I'm going to focus on the course itself and imagine running it. There is lots of information on the website for the marathon. They have details about the brand and flavor of sports drink they will have on the course, (citrus flavored Cytomax), confirmation that there will be port-a-potties (or port-a-loos as we call them in Ireland) every mile, information for spectators about where to cheer and how to get there. Because this marathon is one in the series of rock and roll marathons, there is live music every mile. Here is the list of bands that will be playing and here are the details of where they will be along the course.

Most importantly here is the map of the course itself. You can see that we start quite far south of downtown Seattle and the first 9 miles are all heading north, part of which will be along the shores of Lake Washington. On the elevation chart, there is just one elevation challenge in the first third of the marathon between mile 4 and 5. At mile 9 the half and full marathon courses split and the full marathoners head up and over Lake Washington bridge, from which I'll get this beautiful view. At the end of the bridge we do a U turn and go back to join the half marathoners again. Miles 12-14 have us heading west towards the finish line only to take a sharp right, to go north, past the space needle, through a tunnel, up to Aurora Ave bridge. Spectators are recommended to hang out at the mile 14 marker so I'll probably see my parents and Sean at this point. Hopefully that will help make up for having to leave the tantalizingly close finish line. Getting onto Aurora Ave bridge looks like it will be a challenge. There is a big elevation bump that lasts about a mile from 16.5 to 17.5. Once we cross Aurora Ave bridge we do another U-turn and have to run down the hill we ran up on the way there. Once again we head back through the tunnel towards the finish line, only to pass right by it at 22.5 mile and continue heading south. We make our final U-turn at 24.2 and this time when we run to the finish line it really is the finish. Luckily there are few elevation changes from mile 23 onwards.

At the finish there is a big concert with live music and food and water. Later that evening, Team in Training throw a big celebration party for all participants (if you can stay awake long enough).

If anyone who has run a marathon has advice for getting past my current fatigue and reduced self confidence I would really appreciate it...

The big sixteen miler - Race to Trinity

2010-04-26T16:35:00.000-07:00

I checked it out. If I was to run from my home in Maynooth Park in Ireland to Trinity College in Dublin, where I spent 4 wonderful years, it would be just over sixteen miles. Well, that's how far I ran this past weekend. Imagine! SIXTEEN miles. I don't know why, but this number has a much bigger impact on me than any before. It might be because the idea of running into Dublin from my home seems quite ridiculous to me. When I put it in context like that, I'm amazed at how far I've come.

The long run this past weekend was in Capitola and Santa Cruz. We ran along the coast, past the boardwalk with all the rollercoasters, past the pier and the sea lions and on up along the cliffs. We passed many beaches, some with surfers, some with volleyball players, some with dog owners and their four legged friends playing in the water. The weather was completely perfect, slightly overcast and cool. I ran the whole way with two wonderful women with great senses of humor who kept me going the whole time. We chatted and laughed, we made up stories about the people we passed and we encouraged each other when the going got tough. I didn't notice the time pass. Really. I couldn't believe that sixteen miles was easier than my race just one week before. Check out the path here http://rnkpr.com/a55pu6

Mermaid Half Marathon

2010-04-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

I finished my first half marathon. I am so proud. It took me 2 hours and 20 minutes, smack bang on the 10' 45 "/mile time I was aiming for.

The marathon was an all female race and you could really feel the powerful support on the course. There were lots of, "Great Job!"s and "Well done, Keep it up, You can do it!"s throughout my race. In addition, several women greeted me at the start line with a "Go Team!" (the official cheer of Team in Training) and on the course itself people cheered, "Come on Team in Training. You're looking great!" to encourage me as I ran. You couldn't overestimate how helpful and motivating these cheers are. When you're running along and getting tired, when you begin to focus inwards and the world around you closes in a little bit, the cheers bring you up again. You smile, mumble your thanks, respond in kind with a cheer of your own and before you know it you're back on track and focused. Knowing this makes me more satisfied than ever with my pick of a rock 'n' roll marathon. There will be a live band at every mile in Seattle and the track makes it easy for spectators to stand at the side of the road and cheer.

As for the race itself, I started fairly well. I didn't speed off the start line and I kept a respectfully average pace for the first half of the race. At the half way point I took a moment to walk a little and it was enough to throw me off for a while. When the 'Mile 9' marker showed up I pulled up my socks (figuratively) and tried out some of that self talk I had read about. "In the full marathon you'll just be starting the middle section of the race right now. This is when you need to be strong. Feel the strength in your core. Dig deep and breathe. Steady now." I ran a fantastic mile feeling strong and drawing on all the motivation I had...

Then I reached the 'Mile 10' marker. And I fell apart. I felt like I had used up all the motivation I had. The 'self talk' turn into internal dialog, that went something like this,
"I am a marathoner.
No, you're not. That's just ridiculous. This is just too hard.
No, I must be positive. I am a marathoner.
What are you talking about? You haven't even gone half the distance of the marathon and you're starting to give up. You'll never make it to the end.
No, godammit. Positive. Come ON, McDonough.
Oh, screw this. I can't do it, I'm just gonna walk..."

And on, and on for the whole mile. Needless this to say, this was my slowest mile of the half-marathon. I don't know how I pulled myself out of it. I know I walked quite a bit on this mile and when I reached the 'Mile 11' marker I knew I only had 2.1 miles left and somehow it was doable. I knew I could just continue to put one foot in front of the other and make it to the end. Close to the finish line, a woman shouted, "Pump your arms more, it'll make it easier," and lo and behold it did! Much easier. I ran strong and confident for the last hundred yards and finished in a satisfying 2 hours 20 minutes.

I was rattled though. It wasn't easy. At all. And with just 10 weeks to the marathon itself, running twice that seemed almost out of my reach.

The Forest of Nisene Marks and my first half marathon

2010-04-15T14:18:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I woke up early and drove for 75 minutes to get to The Forest of Nisene Marks in Aptos. It was a foggy morning but there was no rain, which turned out to be a good thing because we ran nearly the whole way on a dirt track. I showed up feeling a bit nervous about the foreboding hills and the state of my shin. Luckily though, early on I caught up with a couple of other runners who were happy to share their stories and chat a little bit to pass the time.

The first 3.5 miles weren't too steep, a fact I appreciated at the time (but regretted later). The forest was peaceful and calm and the overhead canopy of trees provided shade. The conversation was good and distracting. It wasn't long though before we hit the upward slopes. And boy did they live up to the apprehension in the eyes of those who had been here before. We were passed by several cyclists who tried hard to make believe they had yet another lower gear. I felt my heart race and sure enough the numbers on my heart rate monitor soared. We gave up and walked a little. Surprisingly, I was ready before the others to try to push a little again, and so passed the next hour and a half.

In my head I was aiming for 12 miles rather than the total of 14 that everyone else had in mind for the day. Most of the people I'm training with are running in the San Diego marathon 3 weeks before mine at Seattle. When I got to the six mile turn around though, I still felt pretty good. I took a quick assessment of my body and my energy and decided to push on to mile seven before turning around. Having to make the decision about whether to run 12 or 14 miles is very different when you make that decision at mile 6 versus at mile 12.

So up I went. People began passing me on their way back, flying down the hill, as I continued my walk/run/plod uphill to the mile marker. When I made it to mile 7 I was over the moon. The way down was a lot of fun at first. Having to run so slowly on the way up and walk so often was disheartening, but now I was flying. My speed picked up and suddenly I knew what it felt like to be able to run fast, for your feet to want to make each step, instead of having to conjole them every time. I spent 5 glorious minutes engineering a treadmill in my head, that sloped forwards but moved backwards, so that I never had to run uphill ever again. The next 3 miles were a blur. I very slowly lost full control of where each footstep landed. Everything went into slow motion from my brain's perspective as my body hurtled down the mountain. The only thing I was conscious of was the 'Bam, Bam' of each footstep hitting the ground. Until it all came to a halt with 3.5 miles to go. Those wonderful flat miles at the beginning were a bain at the end. By now I was thoroughly exhausted. I had really just been holding on for the last few miles, not in control. Now I was back to having to convince my feet that they wanted to make each step and I really wasn't sure I wasn't going to make it. I was rethinking the decision to attempt to run 14 miles. I counted each. and. every. step.

The water stop showed up at mile 12 and when I saw it, I thought I would just walk the last 2 miles. That's what I had intended at the beginning anyway, right? No harm. I was just being silly trying to do 14 before I needed to in the training... But once I had a bit of a rest and a drink of water, I couldn't really face walking all the way home. I got back on the road and waddled (you couldn't really call it jogging, definitely not running) all the way back to the finish line. When I crossed the 13.1 mile point, all I could think was, "This is HALF the distance I have to run on race day." Oh dear. I'd say it took me 3 minutes to forget all the pain and intense self-talking that went on and to simply relish in my achievement. I called home excitedly, "I ran FOURTEEN miles!!!"

Now this weekend I'm competing in my first half marathon event. Runkeeper has a brilliant option to allow people to track your run live on the website. When I get started I'll send a quick tweet to let people know and then you can track my progress over the course of the 13.1 miles. It's amazing to me that even though I just recalled the pain and agony of last weekend I am still brimming over with enthusiasm for tomorrow. I'm off now to pick up my packet with my race number and electronic tracker to make sure they correctly record my time. If I make somewhere in the 2.5 hour range I'll be happy.

Wish me luck!