It’s been nearly a week since this Advent began and I’m still trying to apply a big lesson I learned as I prepared for the last Advent season. I delved into scriptures about the coming of Jesus, trying to glean all the wisdom from the stories so I could share what I found during a talk at my church’s women’s ministry banquet. By the end of it all, there was one thing that stuck out to me and I think it’s wisdom we can carry with us every day of the year.

The way we respond to waiting has a big effect on how we feel as we go through it.

Waiting isn’t easy, especially when we are really looking forward to something. But it becomes even harder when it’s concerning a matter of the heart. We want to believe God has a plan for our good, but we can’t see or understand how it will come together.  We become desperate for knowledge, a blessing, or the type of change or redemption that only comes from the Lord. Sometimes, we anticipate it so much that we begin to lose hope that we will ever come to know it. We think God is distant. We think our prayers are going unanswered. And waiting seems unbearable.

I know I can end up in that same headspace if I’m not careful. All it takes is one moment to turn the rest of my day into a lot of planning and prepping, hurrying and hustling, and worrying about the thing I’m not doing that I think I need to do—to make something happen or go the way I want it. I get distracted. I forget that God is in control and always makes the best-laid plans just as He did when He sent His Son to become the literal embodiment of Immanuel, God with us. My stillness gets overtaken by a frenzy of emotions. And then, there goes my patience. 

In today’s age of technology and convenience, there’s always something to help us reduce our waiting or eliminate it. But God doesn’t work that way. Instead, He calls on us to be still before the Lord and to wait patiently for Him (Psalm 37:7). 

Learning From Mary’s Response To Waiting

When we look at the stories about God’s people as they waited on the Lord, we can learn so much. Not only can we see how God uses waiting in life, but we can also see how to respond when we’re called into seasons of it.

When Mary was chosen to become the mother of Jesus, she was called into a unique season of waiting. She had to wait on the Son of God as she went through the pains of pregnancy and childbirth. Though her circumstances as a young virgin left her confused by how that situation would work, her perspective allowed her to wait on the Lord with hope and expectancy instead of dread. And I think that’s because she did these three things we can learn to do in our own lives.

1. Receive God’s Call to Wait with Obedience

Mary’s response to hearing she would be the mother of Jesus shows us how knowing the truth about God can make it easier to submit to God’s plan, even when we have questions or may not understand all that He is calling us to. In Luke 1:26-38, Mary wonders how everything would happen and the angel Gabriel—after telling her what to expect—mentions how her relative Elizabeth is now pregnant in her old age after being considered barren. Then he says nothing is impossible with God. Once she hears that, she simply says she is a servant of the Lord and to basically let the words spoken to her happen.

In the same way, when we remember that God does not work from the same place of limitations we do and that—out of His goodness—He works things to work together for our good (Romans 8:28) and has plans to give us a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11),  it can be so much easier to be obedient to his call.

2. Hope in God’s Word and Take Note of Those Who Affirm It

In the next passage of Luke, we see how God can use others to affirm things he’s already communicated. When an already pregnant Mary visits Elizabeth in Luke 1:39-45, her greeting causes the baby in Elizabeth’s belly to leap and Elizabeth is filled with the Holy Spirit.  That affirmed what the angel spoke to Elizabeth’s husband, Zachariah, about their son John receiving the Holy Spirit, even in the womb. It also affirmed that the Lord was with Mary. Elizabeth later referred to Mary using the word blessed three times, which affirmed what Gabriel spoke to her. 

When Elizabeth ended that exchange, she referenced Mary by saying, “blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” But even today, we can use those words as a reminder that God speaks to us as well and offers us blessings—through His Word. Deuteronomy 31:8 tells us the Lord is with us and that He will not leave or forsake us. That means even when we are called to wait on Him. In fact, He becomes our help, building our endurance for all of the things we’re told we will face in those seasons. Isaiah 30:18 says blessed are those who wait for the Lord. Then in Isaiah 40:31, we find that those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength, mount up with wings like eagles, run and not get tired, and walk without becoming weary. 

If we truly believe that God always keeps the promises made in His Word, we can certainly find hope in that and draw closer to Him, instead of striving to make things happen prematurely or on our own terms.

3. Be Watchful, While Offering Praise and Giving Thanks

Right after that exchange in Luke 1, Mary responds to Elizabeth with what the ESV version of the bible calls her Song of Praise, which demonstrates how important it is to remember who God has been in our lives and give thanks for it. Mary praises God, thanking Him for the Savior waiting in her womb. She thanks God for all He’s done for her. She thanks God for His mercy and strength, proven by what He had done in the past. She acknowledges the help God gave to Israel and the prophesies spoken to her forefathers. 

Though Mary offered this personal song of praise, this is a reminder that God’s faithfulness extends to all of His people. His mercy, His strength, and His help are for all those who fear Him. And it can become a comfort as we look toward the future.

A New Way To See Waiting

I believe that to wait with patience and expectancy— we have to believe God is who He says He is. We also have to find hope in his Word, and continually remember who He’s been proven to be—while offering praise to Him and giving thanks for those things.

When we look back at Mary’s response to being the chosen mother of Jesus, we see what it is like for a faithful believer to approach waiting on the Lord in a way that produces patience and expectancy. We also see how a faithful God makes a plan, prepares for it, and sees to its completion. We see that God is not slow like we know slow (2 Peter 3:9). Instead, he is very intentional in how He works for our good, giving everything its appointed time (Habakkuk 2:3).

So, as we move through this Advent and do the hard work of waiting and anticipating in our daily lives, let us remember who we are in Christ and what God has done for those who came before us out of his deep, deep love for us. And wait with our whole hearts.

“If the Lord Jehovah makes us wait, let us do so with our whole hearts; for blessed are all they that wait for Him. He is worth waiting for. The waiting itself is beneficial to us: it tries faith, exercises patience, trains submission, and endears the blessing when it comes. The Lord’s people have always been a waiting people.” – Charles Spurgeon

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For those of us who have ever embraced any of that while having perfectionist tendencies, the striving can form the beat to which we take our steps. It can become a way of life we become so familiar with, we don’t even realize that it comes at a cost.

It’s taken me most of my life to realize that. But it changed the moment I understood more about who I was made to be, what I was made to do, and what it all had to do with the way I treated myself.

For years, my obsession with striving for perfection caused me to put unrealistic expectations on myself and then resort to excessive criticism when I couldn’t meet them. I remember the years of school where I would get so upset with myself for not getting all the right answers or not getting all of the awards I thought were important. I remember the time spent trying to build my career and find my ideal job. How I pushed myself to work long hours, sometimes without taking a bite or a bathroom break—fearing I would miss an opportunity to work just a little bit more. I remember the times in more recent days where I obsessed over having happy, thriving kids while maintaining a spotless home. Nursing babies to sleep while resisting my own need for rest. Instead, passing the time by criticizing myself for not doing what I thought I needed to be doing to maintain a “perfect” home or scrolling social media and trying to hatch up a plan to win the whole stay-at-home mom thing.

While repeatedly running myself to the ground, I would kick myself— saying I was only trying to serve the Lord with excellence and the byproducts, no matter how bad, came with the territory. I couldn’t see that my behaviors were actually a form of self-sabotage that made me neglect myself physically, burnout mentally, and lose sight of my faith in God.

Treating Yourself As God’s Creation

The Bible tells us we are all created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27) and that we are meant to glorify Him in our bodies (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). That means our hearts, minds, souls, and spirits are housed in our bodies, and we should care for them as such.

We should be making time to rest (Hebrews 4:9-11), constantly renewing our minds (Romans 12:1-2), guarding our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), and avoiding things that damage our souls (1 Peter 5:7-9) or hurt our bodies (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). That’s because all of it is valuable as we do the work God has for us in this life.

It never failed that tireless striving left me exhausted, weary, and unable to truly do the one thing I wanted to do—serve the Lord with excellence. My well always ran dry. But to borrow a quote from Benjamin Franklin, “When the well’s dry, we know the worth of water.” Only this time, I knew how to find it.

Water For A Dry Well

It was clear that when my well ran dry, I needed to be refilled, refreshed, and recharged in more ways than one. Some Netflix, a message, or a long nap was not going to solve the problems I had going on. I needed to do these four things:

I needed to draw closer to God, trusting Him and finding rest in His control. When I don’t draw close to God or put my trust in Him, I strive for the wrong things and try to “do it all” within my own strength. However, I find there is freedom in not having to carry that weight and the pressure that comes along with it. I am able to acknowledge that I am imperfect, that I won’t get it all right, and that I’m not expected to. I can also find comfort in knowing that as I work towards things, what God has for me will be for me and it will come in His perfect timing.

I needed to stop striving for perfection. There is nothing wrong with striving in itself, but when I strive for the wrong things, it’s always harmful. Striving for perfection sets the benchmark so high I can never reach it, resulting in a perpetual feeling of failure and discontentment. On the other hand, accepting that nothing on earth will ever be perfect allows me to find joy and goodness right where I am, while holding onto hope for better.

I needed to make space for grace and support. As much as I needed to accept God’s sovereignty and control, I needed to receive His grace. The type of grace that covers me and allows me to do anything right or good or beautiful even though I often fail or make mistakes. I also needed to extend grace to others. Oftentimes, a perfectionist views their way as the best way or the only way, but that’s not always true. When I let others support me and help lighten the load I place on myself—without placing undue expectations on them—I am able to handle other things without stress.

And lastly, I needed to be more intentional about caring for the whole self. Like you, the things I do to myself often affect me in more ways than I realize at the time. But when I am intentional about caring for my whole self, it causes me to slow down, weigh the costs of the things I do, see if they are in line with what God commands, and make adjustments to keep them from harming me or causing burnout. It also puts me in a better position to live well as I serve God and others.

Life is never going to be easy and we’ll never find pleasure in everything we experience, but we can come to a place of contentment where we’re not running ourselves into the ground. I believe that comes when we let God be God, stop trying to control everything, and do the best we can to take care of ourselves. Like the legendary entertainer Lena Horne once said, “It is not the load that breaks you down. It’s the way you carry it.”

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Although I felt an internal tugging to make boldness my one word for 2019, I admit I never thought someone like me could really be bold. Bold to me was loud, extroverted, always comfortable, and always confident. I was none of those things. Also, knowing my personality and the things that made me uncomfortable, I feared taking risks for the sake of that boldness and doing things that felt so unnatural they would cause me to sell my soul.

The thought of it overwhelmed me and filled me with anxiety.

The Bold I Didn’t Want To Become

I didn’t understand why I had such a negative reaction to the idea of becoming bold. So I searched for the definition. I saw Merriam-Webster defined it as adventurous, standing out, or showing a daring spirit—which can be good things. But I also saw the words impudent and presumptuous, which is a boldness that can appear disrespectful or inappropriate.

It suddenly dawned on me. Although people I considered bold stood out and seemed fearless, the majority of the times I heard the word used in conversation was not in a good way. When I heard the word bold, I imagined someone who was so confident in themselves, their abilities, and their “rightness” that the appearance of fearlessness often came with a side of condescension and conceit. I thought of someone who was so blunt and brash that they told it like it was, seemingly without considering there was a real person at the other end of their diatribe. Someone who was quick to defend themselves or someone else with words or actions that shocked, but more times than not, seemed a bit recklessness. No love. No humility. And I wanted no parts of that.

Nonetheless, I knew that if I felt God’s will for me was to become more bold, there was something wrong with my perception of it. 

Rediscovering Boldness

Reading the Bible, I was reminded that all of God’s people are called to courage and boldness. Yet, it’s not a boldness that depends on our ages, backgrounds, personality types or Enneagram scores. We all have access to it. We can even pray for it (Acts 4:31).

In true boldness, we won’t always be confident in our ability to do something nor the results if we take certain risks—but we move anyway. We move to a place where fear can no longer hold us back. Where we can dare to dream of something better than our fear ever allowed. Joshua 1:9 says the Lord commands us to be strong and courageous, and not be frightened or dismayed—because He is with us wherever we go. This is possible because of the power we’re given through Christ. Through Him and his sacrifice, we can always have hope (2 Corinthians 3:12) and confidence in God (Hebrews 4:16), His sovereignty, and His goodness. From there, the Holy Spirit can empower us to step out on faith and override our fear (Hebrews 13:6). After all, God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Time and time again, the Bible showed me what that actually means. I saw how that God-given boldness helped God’s people do amazing things. When Noah built the ark. When Daniel endured the lion’s den. When Peter refused to stop preaching the Gospel, despite requests he stop. The list goes on. And we can’t forget how boldness enabled Jesus Christ himself to go into places he was not expected to go, share God’s truth with people he was not expected to reach, and ultimately take on the cross.

Countless stories and articles also showed how boldness continues to help people like us today. It helps them face opposition, defend unpopular causes, do unpopular things, or merely do the things that terrify them. And it doesn’t mean they’re destined to became careless or lose humility. In fact, one article about the things really bold people do says many who are bold will help improve the world around them. That’s because people overwhelmingly perceive them as self-aware, intentional, focused, and inspiring. They get big things done, but they also encourage growth, progress, and movement in the process.

Embracing Boldness

Turns out, true boldness isn’t as exclusive or unsavory as I’d made it out to be. In fact, boldness is a wonderful thing, when we let it be—because it allows us to bravely do what we’re called to do to glorify God.

So, this year—as I push myself to embrace my one word for 2019—I am overriding my old fears and reservations, and choosing to be bold. Anyone care to join me?

“Boldness doesn’t mean rude, obnoxious, loud, or disrespectful. Being bold is being firm, sure, confident, fearless, daring, strong, resilient, and not easily intimidated. It means you’re willing to go where you’ve never been, willing to try what you’ve never tried, and willing to trust what you’ve never trusted. Boldness is quiet, not noisy.”

Mike Yaconelli

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I sat up in bed, fully immersed in a revelation. Her words resonating with me in a way I hadn’t experienced. The thought came to me that, sometimes, we’re not bold enough to live out God’s call on our lives because we don’t really know who we are in Him or how He much he must love you to do the things He’s already done for us.

I remembered the first time someone ever told me God loved me. After sitting in a friend’s car unloading a barrage of thoughts and frustrations, his words comforted me. Yet, for years, I grappled with what that really meant. I wondered how I could be seen as worthy of such love when I’d known people whose words and actions had made it clear that they didn’t think I was worthy of much more than mistreatment. 

As a person who calls herself a journalist of sorts, I don’t know why I never investigated this love with the same voracity as I would a trending news story. Eventually, I did, though. I saw that I had been building my identity like a house of cards on a broken surface—everything always on the brink of falling apart, wavering with the slightest gust of wind.

The problem was that I didn’t know who I was at my core.

I didn’t know that God created me in His image, sent Jesus to die on the cross, and called me His child because I was valuable.

I didn’t know that God numbered the hairs on my head and developed a plan meant for my good because I am unique and made for a unique purpose.

I didn’t know that God continues to transform my heart, renew my mind, and order my steps because—though I am imperfect—I am still good enough to fulfill all that He calls me to.

And He did that for all of us. Once I began to understand that and who I was in Him, I knew I needed to hold onto that truth. I’ve heard people say replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can change your life. In the same way, I think replacing the lies I’d told myself for years with the truth of God’s Word about who he created me to be changed mine.

12 Scriptures About God’s Love For Us

So, as we celebrate Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be nice to consider the One whose name is synonymous with love—and how much He loves us.

Here are 12 scriptures that point us to that love and help us remember it:

“For God so loved the world,[a] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

John 3:16-17

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 5:8

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

John 15:13

“We love because He first loved us.”

1 John 4:19

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are”

1 John 3:1

“But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,”

Titus 3:4-5

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

James 1:17

“Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

Luke 12:7

“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

2 Peter 3:9

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:38

“Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever.”

Psalm 136:26

The post The Truth To Hold Onto If You Ever Feel Unloved Or Unworthy appeared first on Claresa J. Smith.

Although I’m still adjusting to this new season of life, I’m finding a new motto when it comes to being productive in daily life: If it’s not working, it’s okay to change it.

Of course, there are always things we can’t change. But in this case, I’m talking about the little things we can. Perhaps, they’re our kids’ bedtimes and morning routines, how often they do extracurricular activities, when we do chores or how we can enjoy our time alone.

In the past, I always fought changing routines and systems because I developed them based on what was working for other people. So I expected them to work for me too. But when the results of said routines and systems weren’t living up to my expectations, I continued on the same impractical path because I didn’t want to be seen as a coward or a quitter. The whole time I would criticize myself until I felt like a failure.

I so desperately wanted to prove that if I set my mind to something, I was going to see it through. But I had no idea what it would cost—until it was too late. Turns out, all that proving—my value, my loyalty and my love for my family—blinded me to the fact that I was becoming my own worst enemy. Striving to meet the unrealistic expectations I set only left me overworked, overwhelmed, and a lot more stressed. And that wasn’t good for anyone.

Now, I fight daily against the desire to use my systems to prove I’m good enough. I also try to hang on to the idea that change isn’t always a bad thing.

When Change Is The Better Thing

Sometimes change can be the better thing. And from where I was, it was definitely the better thing. Making small changes helped me find some of the routines and systems that would give more time and energy for my family while keeping my spirit renewed, and my sanity maintained.

These days, that means taking in God’s wisdom first thing in the morning and then praying for guidance as I use smartphone apps to plan my day. It means lacing sneakers for treadmill runs to increase endurance and refocus my mind. It means spending days homeschooling or playing with the kids and writing at night.  It means ordering groceries online and using Amazon Prime whenever I can. It means planning meals, without creating a rigid schedule. And when it comes to housework, it looks like ignoring the voice in my head that tells me I should be able to clean or do laundry in one day like my mother and grandmother—and getting it done the best way I can.

My methods may not be what someone else would choose, but they help me foster a home environment that is full of the joy, love, peace, and creativity that my soul craves.

What To Remember When Finding What Works

Of course, nothing is ever perfect and there will always be hard days, but giving myself permission to make changes helps me approach those days in a way that doesn’t rock my entire world.  Over the past year, I’ve changed so many of my daily methods and routines to find what works for me now as a mom of two. Each time I had to remember these three things:

1. I am not a failure, a coward, or a quitter when something doesn’t work for me and my family.

2. Each family is different and what works for one won’t always work for another.

3. God has control over our lives, that his plans are for our good, and that there’s nothing wrong with letting go of what isn’t working to move us to that end.

Those moments we’re called to let something go can be hard to face. They can hurt our pride. But I’ve learned they’re necessary in order for us to operate in the way that’s best for our families. I think my friend, Jennifer Dukes Lee, sums it up perfectly in her new book, It’s All Under Control. She says, “Sometimes God will ask us to let go of something because it’s not good for us. Sometimes he’ll ask us to let go of something to make room for what’s better.” Now, that doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

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I managed to put on some workout clothes and freshen my breath, but as I sat down to lace up my running shoes, the narrow French doors to my bedroom opened. Standing at the doorway, my daughter told me she had gotten up with her brother, but wanted to go back to bed. I told her that was fine.

Within seconds, my son was screaming for food, my daughter was no longer sleepy, and I was jolted into the day. I could feel any peace I had about how the day would go slowly leaving my spirit. I started giving up on the plans I had, thinking my late start and some unexpected circumstances made any rebound impossible. Requests for my attention came one after the other as I silently criticized myself and became more and more disappointed.

Looking For Peace

Eventually, things calmed and I finished my morning workout. But I still wasn’t at peace. However, I couldn’t understand why until I did my daily bible study. I suddenly realized I often look to a tidy home, a solid schedule, or a completed to-do list to give me peace.

Of course, those things can make life more pleasant, but the Bible says we have to look to another source for our peace—the Lord. The Lord gives peace to those who trust him and pursue it. The moments and the circumstances in our daily lives where we often find comfort are often short lived.  Yet, God and his truth, his wisdom, and his promises never change.

Scriptures About Peace

Remembering that inspired me to take a deeper look at how the Bible can encourage us when we lose our peace and remind us of its true source. And there are several scriptures that do just that. Here are ten that encouraged me, and I hope they encourage you.

1. “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
2. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
3. “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:16)
4. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
5. “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 5:1)
6. “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)
7. “But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)
8. “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:34)
9. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
10. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)

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Most days, it’s easy to approach life with a positive attitude and take note of the good things in a particular situation. But some days the challenges of life get to me. When my kids have repeated meltdowns or make more messes than I care to count, when I don’t make any check marks on my to-do list, or when my introverted self doesn’t get to recharge when I want to; I can lose sight of the goodness and forget to give thanks. Sometimes, I complain or repeatedly let the smallest things frustrate me. Other times, I spiral even further into a pit of anxiety and negativity. And the whole time, I feel shame for letting it all get to me in the first place.

Understanding The Thankful Heart

Growing up, I’d always equated the thankful heart with a bubbly personality with a constant smiles. I would think something was wrong with me because I was the furthest thing from bubbly.  Not to mention, there were times I didn’t feel like smiling. But over the years I’ve learned those things aren’t the barometer for measuring a thankful heart.

Of course, a thankful heart can produce those things in some people. However, they aren’t what being thankful is all about. A thankful heart is about how you function at your core. It’s about feeling frustration, but recognizing who can calm and give peace.  It’s about feeling anxious, but knowing where to cast your cares. It’s about being weary and realizing there is One in whom you can find rest. And knowing that is the same One who is a shepherd, a healer, and the ultimate source of provision. Then, seeing those gifts like being given a Powerball jackpot when you never had the money to buy a ticket.

As an imperfect person living an imperfect life, sometimes I forget that and act out of my sadness, frustration, and anxiety. But I know God, His love, and His grace are sufficient for all of it. And like David in Psalm 138, I am thankful for that with my whole heart.

Practicing Thankfulness

In Aristotle’s famous quote about excellence, he says “we are what we repeatedly do.” Cultivating a thankful heart works the same way. The more we acknowledge God’s role in our lives and give thanks for it, the more natural it becomes to express our thankfulness in all circumstances. Thankful hearts aren’t developed overnight. It takes time. It takes intentionality. And it takes lots of practice.

Here are some of the many ways we can practice thankfulness:

 1. Pray

Prayer is something that really helps me practice gratitude. It allows me to give thanks to God, not only for His provision, but also for the kindness and generosity of others. It also plays a big part in how we teach our daughter to be thankful. My husband and I pray for our daughter every night, giving thanks for her and all she’s done as she lies tucked in tight. Initially, my daughter didn’t couldn’t think of anything to give thanks for. Now, we can’t finish a prayer without her naming at least one thing we forgot to mention.

2. Journal

Writing is a great way to keep track of what you’re thankful for. Some time ago I wrote about how words help me remember. Like framed words and art in a home, I think writing as a way to practice thankfulness can work to remind us that there are still things to give thanks for, even when days are hard.  Gratitude journals, planners, or simple notebooks can be used to keep running lists organized.

 3. Speak

Praying and journaling require you to recall what you’re thankful for, but speaking lets you give thanks in the moment. Whether it’s saying “Thank you” to a friend for a gift or giving a shout of praise to God himself for waking another day or finding that $20 you thought you lost months ago, speaking helps us keep gratitude on our lips and makes us more mindful of the various ways He continues to bless us and enable others to be a blessing to us.

4. Send A Note

I didn’t learn about the beauty of the thank you note until my late 20s. In fact, I’m still working to make this one a habit because I see how many people have a real appreciation for it. Living in this age of quick communication,  any thank you note—especially a handwritten one—goes a long way.

5. Be A Blessing To Others (Serve & Give)

God calls us to do good, share what we have (Hebrews 13:16) and use the gifts we receive to serve one another (1 Peter 14:10). When we share what we have—time, talent, resources—we show a desire to become a blessing to others out of gratitude for own blessings.

Seeing The Fruit

Author Melanie Beattie says, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” I never really thought of gratitude that way until I started being more intentional about giving thanks both to God and to others. Now, I understand how it can be true.

As we practice thankfulness, we show our trust in God and make way for contentment where it is needed. We see what is really enough, how we can use what’s been given to us, and how we can fully appreciate what we have. And we live out of that, with heart continually praising the One who made it all possible.

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The post The Thankful Heart And How To Cultivate One appeared first on Claresa J. Smith.

But then I notice that my toddler is asking for more crackers, my laundry is piled high, there are boxes in my living room, dinner isn’t made, and I’m getting tired.

And I compare.

I think about all the time they must have to devote to their work, how they must have older children in school, or have a baby that’s an incredibly good napper. My mind wonders with a thousand and one reasons why they’ve done what they’ve done and I haven’t.

It makes me feel inadequate, unaccomplished, and in a hurry to make something happen.

I usually have to sit with myself and search deep within my soul to find the truth–to remember that I am comparing my complete reality to my partial view of someone else’s.

And that’s not fair–to me nor to the person with whom I’m doing the comparing. I don’t know their struggles. I don’t know their heartaches and disappointments. I don’t know the entirety of their story. And if I do, I’m devaluing it.

Most times, the stuff worth having and celebrating isn’t easy: marriage, raising children, establishing your career, pursuing your dreams–no matter what the circumstances.

It’s like dough before it becomes bread. There’s a prepping and preheating. There’s a shaping and molding. There’s a watching and waiting. But when it’s ready, it rises to the occasion. And still, no roll, biscuit, or loaf of bread is quite the same. Each piece of dough, stretched and baked goes through its own journey to completion.

In the same way, we are all on our own journeys to do the things we feel called to do.

So as I give my daughter another handful of crackers and contemplate which item to tackle next on my to-do list, I have to tell myself I am doing the work that will shape and mold me, that I am accomplished in my own way, and that things only happen if and when they’re supposed to happen.

Getting caught up in the comparison trap isn’t difficult, but we have to learn how to stop before we find ourselves into a pit of jealousy, self-loathing and despair. I found a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson that encouraged me and helped change my focus. It says, “what lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside you.”

It’s a great reminder to look within and know our hopes, our dreams, and our journeys are just that–our own. And they are enough.

The post When Comparing Leads To Self-Loathing appeared first on Claresa J. Smith.