Clares Art

CKD... Vegan or Carnivore? Fat or No Fat? Eat This, Don't Eat That...

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Sat, 23 Mar 2019 20:31:00 +0000

I am angry. Angry with myself for listening to others when I should have been listening to my body. Angry that I allowed my head to be filled with fear of all sorts of foods. Too much omega 6 is bad they say... eat your omega 6 others say. Meat causes heart disease they say, cholesterol is good others say. Nightshades are toxic, eat your tomatoes, they are full of lycopene and so on until you can't take anymore and your head explodes like a poached egg in a microwave, scramble everywhere.

I can't remember when it all started exactly. Actually I do. I lost a lot of weight thai boxing, and did not want to put it back on. I was often thoughtful of my food choices but what really got the ball of anxiety and fear for food rolling was a divorce and a diagnosis of ckd. I was stage 2, not so bad I was told. Then came repeated uti's, death inducing antibiotics and a desire to fix myself, to find an answer to my health. Gone was the invincibilty of youthfulness, I was only 29. Then came a pregnancy. A wonderful little child who is now seven. We just about survived with our lives. I now have stage 3 ckd. Not long after an emergency c-section, my doctor decided to scare the sh#$ out of me or others may say, just state the truth "If you don't take these meds you will die young"? It upsets me now even writing it. I didn't want to take those meds. I wanted to find another way to fix my kidneys. If only I could, then my focus went to preventing further decline, if only I could stop that too. By this point, months after my child arrived I had tried veganism, low protein, low fat. Wtf was I thinking. I got so ill so many times. Im so lucky to be alive really. Only when I started watching carnivore videos did my brainwashing subside, but I did not want to go to the otherside. My body tells me I need both plants and meat. It was only when I told a counsellor recently that I was affraid to eat certain foods that I realised I needed to move on from the carnivore videos and just listen to my body, and that is what I am trying to do at the moment, trying not to let regret fill my heart.

Thanks for reading this far. Maybe someone somewhere will relate. Maybe someone somewhere will be helped. You walk this earth only once, find yourself. X

Celebrating Christmas and the New Year. Celebrating the Winter Solstice.

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Sun, 24 Dec 2017 23:30:00 +0000

Christmas and New year seem redundant to me. Religion has my stories which I believe act as a moral compass in life but what is an atheist actually celebrating when they buy presents and put up a tree?

The 21st of December was the start of the new year for me.

The cold glare of the sun at its lowest point. The long dark nights at their peak.
The wildlife snuggly laying dormant In their burrows just as I wish to do every day under the duvet.

The days, weeks and months ahead will steadily change giving way to a whirlwind romance.

The new life, the fresh fruit, the warm seas, the butterflies, the bees.

Finally the late summer harvest to feed us hard working hungry humans through the next cold winter.

Bring on Halloween and bonfire night, Orion shining bright.

HAPPY WINTER SOLTICE

My Dad

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Thu, 12 Oct 2017 09:43:00 +0000

My Dad passed away 11 days ago now.

Although he previously had a heart attack and had been on medication for 10 years, the day he died was still a shock.

Only a few days before I had spoke to him about a family holiday from my childhood.

Things were looking up for me regarding my anxiety and I wanted to help my Dad with his. It is too late now and that's makes me feel sad and guilty that I did not do it before, but how could I? I wasn't in the right frame of mind.

Everything my Dad did was for other people and he found it hard to let people close. He did his best in everything, driven by his compassionate nature.

I always made an effort to keep in touch and instead of beating myself up, I too have come to the conclusion that I also do my best, just like my Father did before me.

MY DAD

"I have lost my my Dad and I am sad
He always did his best.

He came from dust where he shall return
Now his mind's at rest."

My loyal caring Dad

Family Doodle

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Sat, 23 Sep 2017 06:41:00 +0000

This is a doodle of my Auntie that I drew while on the phone to her. I feel as though I was not thinking while drawing. It came from within.

It is a resemblance but I guess you'd have to know her to agree!

What I Have Discovered about No Poo

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Thu, 21 Sep 2017 18:42:00 +0000

On my No Poo journey I have discovered many things but the most shocking one to me is that No Poo, to most and now me, is not No Product!

Thinking over my struggles, research and the bicarb rinses of others it dawned on me that I may have actually been walking around with soap in my hair, soap that had reacted with the minerals in the hard water the pours through my taps each day and this hard water, I have read also encourages the scales of your hair to stand up thus making your hair rough and prone to breakage. Soft water does the opposite and smoothes your hairs scales flat encouraging soft, shiny locks.

Maybe this was the reason my hair felt so Shit and was ruining my confidence.

It was breaking point for me a week ago. How can I start college or go to work like this? Hair must be washed. But how and what was the plan ahead?

Seeing as I cannot afford a water filter system for my home I decided to make a compromise. Wash with a normal shampoo which I read is a detergent and not a soap?! What's the difference? I read that detergent reacts much less with the minerals in hard water creating less reaction and buildup than regular bar soap.

I used the smallest amount of shampoo possible to ensure my hair was clean but no conditioner, I did not want build up from that.

I was happy, I felt fresh, I felt confident, I felt acceptable but what to do between now and the next wash which I intended to drag out as long as possible?

Rain water! Collect rain water. But how? A saucepan will do. Luckily this is England. We have lots of rain! I placed my sauce pan outside and managed to collect enough water to half fill a spray bottle. I noticed more water collecting on my garden bench so decided to harvest that too.

With my full spray bottle the plan was to spray and brush my hair each evening which I have been doing up to this day. That makes one week so far. My hair has looked and felt great all week, slowly becoming more shiny but not greasy. Today I feel it may be starting to turn and I have run out of rain water so will see what the morning brings.

If no rain appears I will use the softest water I have found in the super market, Morrison's own that had a dry residue of 37, which basically means its low in minerals compared to other brands but not pure like rain water. I may try a spray and brush with this. If no luck it will be a wash and start the cycle again.

If I can go at least a week between washes I will be happy :)

I also discovered how soap was made in the good ol days. That's a post for another day!

Farvel..

No poo update

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 08:09:00 +0000

I refer to my previous post where I decided to give the no poo a couple more days... I gave it one more day before deciding to wash it. Instead of shampoo I used hand soap with only a few ingredients in and used it mainly near the back of my head and crown near the roots, I could feel it had not washed away all the oils so I was happy to feel fresher while managing not to Strip my hair of oils.

For some reason this made my hair look quite light for the first day and there were more tangles during preening but as of now my hair looks and feels fantastic.

In the days since I lightly washed my hair the build up of sebum has been extremely light.

I brush and preen once in the morning and am happy when I look in the mirror that I can be in public without a hat.

I still get rainwater on my hair as soon as the clouds start producing!

Just wondering how long I can go this time and what difference the hand bar soap will have made to that amount of time?

No poo anxiety.

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Mon, 11 Sep 2017 19:37:00 +0000

I am day 12 into no poo. I have got my hair in the rain 3 times as I have hard water and decided not to wash it while in the shower.

For the first time I am starting worry my hair smells and wondering if it is all worth it?

I have my partner smell my hair and he said it just smells like hair. Then said maybe a little greasy but only when you put your nose up to it.

I really want to continue with the experiment as my hair is starting to look good but if it's gonna make me smell I may have to re-think.

I have sprayed some perfume on my hair and will see how the next few days go.....

No Poo, No Water, Sebum Only.

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Fri, 08 Sep 2017 15:04:00 +0000

I am sitting outside school waiting to collect my daughter. I have been wanting to share so much but never knew quite how to articulate it. Not anymore.

I have always wanted to live as close to 'natural' as possible and one of the ways to do this is no poo haircare.

Imo, many humans are obsessed with consumerism and sold what they don't need and that includes some hair products.

The questions to ask:

do I need this? Is there 'a natural' or 'old' way? What is this other way? That last questions could lead many answers, some may be what people have decided are old or natural ways but the actual answer can take a lot of research and some mistakes.

So to get into the nitty gritty, I haven't washed my hair for 8 day. The first 3 days were standard as that is how often I would wash my hair. Days 4,5,6 and 7 were full of embarrassment, shame, should i's, could i's.

I would wear my cap at all times and frantically search how to take care of my hair.

I wasn't about to try egg, cinnamon or witches eyeballs so went for water only. It didn't do anything for the condition of my hair which was very frustrating and further research gave me a possible reason. Hard water! I read rainwater was the answer so while I waited for the next downpour i decided to experiment with preening.

Preening is the act of using the pads of your fingers to move the oil down the hair shaft to prevent build up at the roots and protect the full length of your hair.

The preening helped the condition of my hair. There was less build up at the roots and on day 7 I was confident enough to go out with but hair clipped up. I want to add I do the preening in the evenings.

On day 8, today I noticed the rain. The rain! I ran outside and let my hair soak up this exlixer for hair and when I had finished out came the saucepan, sitting on a pile of sticks and logs from the mulberry bush that had been pruned a few weeks ago.

My hair did look greasy while wet but afterwards, oh the rain water worked. My hair was softer and looked less greasy and today I finally had the courage to go out with my hair down!

I felt amazing, I felt free, I felt empowered, I felt a sense of achievement. I wonder why? Achievement because I persevered and got a result. Free from the constraints of consumerism, and empowered by my courage to face the world the way I have wanted to be.

I have now bought my saucepan collection of water indoors and I tend to transfer It to a spritzer bottle.

My next challenge is to go to work with my sebum flowing locks 🤞

Everyone is different but this is what I have found to work for me, long may it continue.

What is friendship?

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Tue, 11 Jul 2017 10:26:00 +0000

The question came to me today. What is the meaning of friendship?

Ultimately the reason we know others is because of the things we do together, be it through choice, chance or coersion.

My definition: True friendship is a mutual enjoyment of the activities done together.

A true friend will live their lives how they want and allow you to do the same. While coming together mutually, without patronising and without judgement.

Can there be unequal friendships?

Yes, but are they healthy and are they truely a freindship?

I asked my son the question, what is the definition of friendship?

His reply: mutual enjoyment of each other's company.

The conversation led to a more detailed definition as is the complexity of the subject.

Google gives this definition:

friendship

ˈfrɛn(d)ʃɪp/

noun

noun: friendship

the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.

"old ties of love and friendship"

a relationship between friends.

plural noun: friendships

"she formed close friendships with women"

synonyms:relationship, friendly relationship, close relationship, attachment, mutual attachment, alliance, association, close association, bond, tie, link, union; More

amity, camaraderie, friendliness, comradeship, companionship, fellowship, fellow feeling, closeness, affinity, rapport, understanding, harmony, unity;

intimacy, mutual affection;

cordial relations

"their friendship was based on mutual liking and respect"

antonyms:enmity

a state of mutual trust and support between allied nations.

"because of the friendship between our countries, we had a very frank exchange"

Origin

Old English frēondscipe (see friend, -ship).

What are your thoughts? How do you define friendship? Who are you true friends?

Mousey in my Housey

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Sun, 08 Jul 2012 11:33:00 +0000

Work Doodle: Ooooh

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 14:04:00 +0000

More Work Doodles!

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 12:39:00 +0000

By Claza

Work Doodles :)

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 08:58:00 +0000

By CLaza

By Tracey

Tomato in the Ghetto? And flourishing!

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 21:31:00 +0000

In Your Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 13:28:00 +0000

^^ click to enlarge

This image was drawn using water colour pencils with the help of some fine detail paint brushes and is more a rough copy. I would like to do another one from scratch which would be more sharp on the eye. Also the scanner has dulled down the colours slightly. I am pleased I managed to actually finish something for a change :)

Nelly's Art

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 19:14:00 +0000

Art by my 9 year old daughter Chanelle..fantastic!

Blast from the Past

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 20:09:00 +0000

1998

Review of My New Camera - Nikon Coolpix s3000

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 19:37:00 +0000

After a long time without a camera and setting myself a budget of only £100 I decided to buy a black Nikon Coolpix s3000 which cost me £80. I have read many a review, good and bad about this little camera. On first use it seemed easy to negotiate all the settings and then I decided to take some photos... the images seemed slightly blurred and feeling disappointed I went to read some more reviews which stated just this problem. Some mentioned changing the ISO settings but with no luck..I tried and to my joy (woo bloody hoo!) it worked. I have been keeping the ISO low (between 80-200) for outdoor and indoor pictures during the day with no need for flash. In the evening I keep ISO low (again between 80-200...400 was the limit of acceptable) and use the flash which works fine, even in quite dark surroundings. The image is never as good quality when using the zoom, especially at night. I would like to see what the best pictures print out like so will make a trip to Boots soon!

The Nikon Coolpix s3000 is a point and shoot camera and as I have read these types of cameras have a smaller sensors and the picture quality will not be as good as a camera with a bigger sensor. To find out more click here: http://www.cambridgeincolour.com/tutorials/digital-camera-sensor-size.htm

Taken in bright daylight. Left pic ISO is set to auto. Right pic ISO is set to 80. Click on image to view full size.

As for the video capture, its not HD but this is a camera first and a point and shoot one at that. The picture in daylight seems great for my needs, and in evening light is acceptable. I do notice some mild interference in the sound which is a bit of a let down but if you want a video recorder its best to shop for one.

This camera is fine for general photography and will get me by nicely though I will be looking, in the meantime for a camera that can provide higher quality images on close up and zoom for my artistic side :) Quality first, price second. If you have any recommendations, please let me know by leaving a comment.

Tears and Rain

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 16:18:00 +0000

June 2010

Buzzzzz

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 16:03:00 +0000

Jan 2010

Felt Tip and Face paint Frenzy

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 15:55:00 +0000

Designed with felt tip by my daughter Chanelle...

Coloured in with face paint by Mum...

This was created Dec 2009.

Romance Isn't Dead

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 21:57:00 +0000

After a few hours of v & j's we crazily strolled through town. A shop with shiny new and used things *brain lights up* oooohh. I go in to have a peek as the BF outside enjoys one of those Royals............and the rest is D I NKY !

My Baby

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 23:44:00 +0000

This is my first sketch for ages!

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 22:41:00 +0000

Gatos

noreply@blogger.com (clare) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:13:00 +0000

This is for you Bebi :D

If you like cats check out http://gatunos-y-gatunadas.blogspot.com/.