Clear Your Heart

We did it!

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:57:00 +0000

We got married!

Almost eleven weeks ago actually. I don't know where the time has gone to be honest but a four night minimoon and a three week honeymoon have probably got something to do with it.

It was an incredible day. Filled with most of our favourite people (damn Australia for taking two of our closest friends away last year), lots of amazing food and a massive amount of love and laughter. It absolutely flew by, predictably, and it feels like it was a lifetime ago now. Married life thus far has been pretty sweet, although not much has changed really. I still haven't changed my name anywhere other than work and my Asos account (priorities) and I don't have a new signature yet. The word "husband" still makes me do a double take and I can't yet say it without feeling like a child playing make believe. But it has been a fantastic 2.5 months and I can't wait to see what the future holds for me and my husband (HA!).

Which leads me on to the next point.

This little blog of mine has reached its end. When I sat down and opened up the Blogger website in October 2008 I was heartbroken. An awful relationship (although I didn't know it was awful at the time) had ended and taken my spirit with it. I was sad all the time. All. The. Time. I started this blog as a way to "get it all out" I guess. A place to write down my thoughts, no matter what they were A place to cry and scream and sob into the internet. That relationship that broke me was rekindled for a short time but then, with devastating predictability, I had my heart broken all over again and it ended, for good this time. I was sad again - more sad than I'd ever been. But then, slowly but surely, life began again and I "found myself", for want of a better phrase. I desperately wish I could think of a better phrase. I lost some weight and found some much needed confidence, sure, but, and much more importantly, I also grew to actually like myself. I found out who my real friends were. I dated. I danced till dawn on more occasions than I can count or remember.

And then I met Ainge. The Soldier. The boy who came along and changed everything.

And life was never the same again.

I haven't written in here properly really for about the last two years. I just.... ran out of things to say. I lost my connection with this blog, with the reason for its existence. I never stopped reading other blogs but I just didn't want to write in mine anymore. There is so much hurt within these pages and it no longer feels like a place that represents me or the life I lead.

But that is not to say I will be disappearing. Oh no. I've had an online "presence" (ugh) in some form or other since the year 2000 so you won't be getting rid of me that easily. There will be a fresh start. A new blog of some sort, somewhere else, soon. I will post the link here as soon as it's live and I hope you'll follow me over there.

Thanks CYH, it's been a blast. Truly.

Photo Credit: Our incredible wedding photographer, Cassandra Lane.

Hello, 2015!

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 03 Jan 2015 14:35:00 +0000

So, here we are. 2015.

The year I'm going to become a Mrs. The year I'll gain a husband and a new name. The year we'll finally get a dog. Those are not necessarily listed in order of how I excited I am about them. Ahem.

At exactly this time in 12 weeks we'll be saying our vows and tying the knot. Which is rather terrifying, exciting and surreal, to say the least. I cannot wait.

I haven't made many resolutions for the coming year. Mainly I'd like to be happier than I was in 2014, which, by all accounts, was a fairly terrible year. I intend to worry less, laugh more, throw out fewer vegetables which have rotted away to nothing in the depths of our fridge, go to the gym more, sit on the sofa less, be more sociable and wear more lipstick.

I wish you all a very happy new year. Let's do this, 2015.

Tying the Knot

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Thu, 28 Aug 2014 19:32:00 +0000

Way back in April (!) I posted about our holiday at the beginning of February. What better time to post about what happened at the end of February than right now, the very end of August! I am nothing if not the queen of being delayed these days. Truthfully, the last six months have passed in a blur and the last thing I've felt like in an evening is putting on my laptop and tip-tapping away at the keyboard. But this is not an apology post, because I wouldn't puport to assume that anyone has even noticed my hiatus, let alone mourned it.

Enough of that. I am here. For now at least. And I hope to be here more from now on. Although I do say that each and every time I return, so I really wouldn't place any great trust in it.

So, the great happening of the end of February 2014! We only went and booked our wedding. Yep. It's actually happening. In exactly seven months from now, to be precise. So far we have our venue, Registrar, photographer, florist, favours and numerous other things sorted. Bridesmaids and best man have been asked and, thankfully, they all said yes. Most of the save the dates have been sent out and received. We have a minimoon booked. And a honeymoon. A three week honeymoon in Florida and New Orleans, to be entirely accurate.

So, yes. We're actually getting married. I am soon to be Mrs C, rather than Miss F. Although I may be Mrs C-F actually, given that I'm the last of my family to bear our surname and I don't think I'm ready to give it up just yet. I rather like my name. I've grown quite attached to it over the last 32 years, truth be told. However, I'm a bit traditional sometimes, as much as I try to protest that I am most definitely not, and I would like to share a name, at least in part, with my husband.

Husband. Yikes.

This is a whole new kettle of fish, isn't it?

(The photo is really just because I cannot publish a post without one. But I do rather like it. Me and t'husband-to-be at Beacons Festival a couple of weeks ago.)

So Good They Named It Twice

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 26 Apr 2014 17:51:00 +0000

Way back in February, A turned the grand old age of 30. Luckily for him, he got to avoid a minor meltdown (which I definitely experienced when I turned 30) because I took him to New York for six days of glorious food, strong drinks and freezing temperatures. I actually booked the holiday in April last year and then kept it a secret until Christmas Day, when I surprised him with it. I think it's fairly safe to say that it's one of the only secrets I've ever kept successfully and I'm not entirely sure how I managed it. Stealthy.

Brace yourselves for a photo-heavy post!

We stayed at the Ace Hotel in midtown and it was incredible. That picture of the Empire State Building above? Yep, that was the view from our room. It doesn't get much better than that.

I mentioned freezing temperatures above. By "freezing" I mean -9 with a 'RealFeel' temperature of -13. Every single day. But New York sure is pretty in the snow and there were only a couple of occasions when I felt like my body was shutting down due to the cold. Win win.

And then, of course, there was the food and drink...

It was an amazing few days and I was so sad to say goodbye to NYC when the time came for us to head for home. It was my fourth visit and definitely my favourite. Until we meet again, magical city of dreams!

January

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 01 Feb 2014 12:38:00 +0000

January started with good intentions. So many good intentions. Resolutions were made to give up alcohol, caffeine and chocolate for the whole month. All those resolutions had fallen by the wayside by 4pm on New Year's Day. What followed was a month of nice meals out, nice meals at home, delicious wine, delicious gin and not a whole lot of moving off the sofa. And I have zero regrets.

February looks to be fairly decadent too, particularly given that we're off to NEW YORK on Thursday for six days. I won't say any more, for fear of spiralling into mania and burning myself out before we even land. Needless to say I'm very excited and looking forward to many many slices of pizza the size of my face.

January, in all its Instagrammed glory:

1) Amazing hot chocolate after a bracing walk early in the new year; 2) Leftover Christmas cheese and port; 3) An epic roast dinner cooked by my friend Becky and her fella; 4) A big gin in an awesome Betty Jackson Black glass; 5) After work wine at Superstore in the Northern Quarter; 6) Pulled bbq brisket, halloumi, sweet potato chips and coleslaw - believe it or not this was actually Slimmin World friendly; 7) Meal planning. We tried. We really did; 8) Fruit platter following a huge Chinese banquet for my Dad's birthday; 9) A chilli mojito and a mai tai at Bangkok Bar & Restaurant; 10) All you can eat chicken and ribs with Charlotte; 11) Token picture of Millie, because she doesn't normally sit still long enough for me to capture her cuteness

The Marriott Victoria & Albert Hotel, Manchester

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 25 Jan 2014 16:14:00 +0000

I'm a bad blogger. A very bad blogger. I was invited down to the Marriott V&A back in December to try out their new menu and I'm only just now getting around to actually writing about it. Full disclosure: my friend B is the Food & Beverage Manager at the V&A. However, she knows I'm brutally honest and wouldn't just write a good review for the sake of it. That's not how I roll, baby.

The Marriott is on the banks of the River Irwell and, with the restaurant looking out over the river, there are some lovely views to be had. We settled ourselves into a nice booth by the window and set about choosing enough food to feed approximately four people. I'd tried the duck before and A had eaten the braised shin of beef last time we'd been. Both were great and it was tempting to re-order them this time. However, we remained strong and, in the name of research, went for the lamb rump (with pea puree and a delicious baton of crispy lamb breast) and the ribeye steak, with sides of peas, leeks and smoked bacon, smoked cheddar mash and some fries.

A bowl of marinated olives and a couple of preprandial gin and tonics were gratefully received and disappeared far too quickly for my liking. Gin tends to do that when I'm around. Starters were the crispy squid with wasabi mayonnaise for me and the ham hock fritters with picalilli for A. Both were fantastic; piping hot and just what the doctor ordered on a cold December evening.

Being gluttonous pigs, as is our wont, we went for the full three courses and ordered a white chocolate and amaretti cheesecake and a hot chocolate fondant, with almond brittle and vanilla ice cream. The cheesecake was a rich and glorious beast and I have to confess that I didn't quite manage to finish it. Something that I have bitterly regretted ever since. A fared much better than I and took down the chocolate fondant like an absolute champion, in all it's gooey, chocolatey glory. Excellent desserts. And I'm not even really a dessert person.

There were a couple of small niggles (gin and tonic served with lemon is a crime against gin and my lamb was slightly overdone) but overall it was a lovely meal and we left (very) full and contented. A special mention must go to the smoked cheddar mash, which I daydream about longingly on a regular basis. So good.

The V&A offer two courses for £15 or three courses for £20, with some supplements payable for the more expensive main courses. At those prices, I think it really is worth a visit. We enjoyed our meal so much that we're hoping to head back within the next couple of weeks to try the newly relaunched afternoon tea, as reviewed by the lovely Rachel of DollyBakes here.

I'm allowed to have the Gentleman's afternoon tea, right? Pies > cakes, always and forever.

Merry & Bright

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Mon, 30 Dec 2013 13:08:00 +0000

Just a few photographs of our Christmas, which began with "fake Christmas" at our house on the Sunday before the official big day. We watched Home Alone and Die Hard, I burned my favourite festive candle and we ate that entire box of salted caramel profiteroles. Marks & Spencer, you are a temptress and I love you.

We then spent five days at my parents' house in Cheshire and it was pretty idyllic. A festive pub crawl around the village pubs, going to pick up the turkey from the local farm that we've been getting it from for the last 30 years or so, preparing the vegetables with my Mum on Christmas Eve (accompanied by plenty of gin) and then the usual Christmas Eve evening spent with good friends at the world's cheapest (and possibly most cheerful) pub. Christmas Day was quiet but lovely, with Boxing Day being much the same. Lots of thoughtful presents, great food, plentiful wine and a couple of bracing walks to enable the consumption of more food.

I'm not back to work until Thursday and I'm relishing each and every moment. Plenty of sleep, plenty more good food (before the wedding diet begins in earnest in January) and lots of sitting down. My favourite. I hope that, whatever you do tomorrow night, you have a great time and that 2014 is spectacular for you all!

Back once again...

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 07 Dec 2013 15:38:00 +0000

So, the six month break was entirely unintentional, I promise. Life got busy and I didn't have time to write. And then I lost the inclination to write. Blogging stopped being a part of my life. I stopped writing, I stopped reading. Then, a few weeks ago I opened up Feedly again and I started to read. And I realised that I missed writing, I missed posting photographs. So here we go. It feels rather strange to be posting a summer's worth of photographs but, if I don't post them now, I never will.

Grillstock in June. Beer, meat, sun. Wonderful.

I threw a little party for my girls back when it was sunny and before this one moved in...

Yep, I live with a boy now. And it's pretty much brilliant in every single way.

We went to London in July and wandered amongst the flowers near St Paul's.

We also took many many photographs in the reflective spherical sculptures nearby.

In September we went to Liverpool and stayed at Hope Street Hotel. In a room with the most magnificent view.

We went to Crosby beach and I took approximately 6 million photographs of the Another Place sculptures.

I made a new friend.

We gazed at the view, drank prosecco and life was marvellous.

We carved some pumpkins. I'll leave you to guess which was mine.

And then?

Well, this happened....

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Hello June!

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 18:25:00 +0000

So, confession time. The food budget challenge? Failed it. Blogging more often? Failed that too. BUT, what I have achieved in the last two weeks is lots of quality time with family, friends and The Soldier. There have been lots of cuddles with babies (two of my friends have recently given birth), an epic 2nd birthday party, lots of lovely food and drinks, some horrendously stressful times at work, lovely sunshine, lots of watching of The Walking Dead and a fair bit of relaxing. I've been cooking more, trying to look after myself a bit more (hello Origins purchases, you have saved my face) and trying to get to bed a bit earlier (but usually failing).

So, June! You've crept up haven't you, you cheeky little minx! I'm using June as a bit of a fresh start to be honest. I've put myself on a spending ban, particularly in relation to beauty products. I have shelves full of unopened products and I think it's high time I started working my way through those, rather than buying the next "miracle" or must have product.

I've also put myself on a takeaway ban. Whilst I've been doing really rather well at eating more healthily, the odd takeaway here and there has crept back in, usually when I'm exhausted from work and just can't bear the thought of preparing a meal. It has to stop though as, without fail, I always feel absolutely disgusting after eating takeaway food. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Aside from those little personal challenges, June is going to be exciting! We're off to Grillstock next weekend, I'm in Belfast the weekend after that for the Game of Thrones exhibition (oh yes) and then we're off to Glastonbury at the end of the month. I've got ten days off work and I intend to savour every single moment of sleep, cider and music-filled joy. Bliss.

Five things

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Fri, 17 May 2013 19:15:00 +0000

Say hello to the new love of my life, my brand spanking new deliciously purple Kanken. I'd been lusting after one of these little beauties for a while, after seeing posts from numerous bloggers, but it was the lovely Bee who finally pushed me into taking the plunge when she posted that there was a cheeky little 15% discount on all Kankens at the moment. And, just between you and me, it's still valid! GO! BUY! LOVE!

I've been staying at my parents' house for the last ten days or so, looking after their dogs while they gallivant around America. Again. Whilst it's nice to take some time away from home and relax in leafy Cheshire, there is one slight issue. I can't so much as look at a piece of food without this little monster plopping herself down in far-too-close proximity and lstaring at me with her beady little puppydog eyes. She's a tiny tyrant.

Neon jumper. Ghostbusters lounge pants. Comfort at its finest. Yes, I just said lounge pants. Let's deal with it and move on.

This cheeky little lobster roll at Neighbourhood made for an extremely decadent Wednesday lunchtime treat. Lobster: Guaranteed to brighten up even the toughest of work days. Add in a cheeky portion of chips and you've got yourself a whole heap of joy.

And now for my giant face! As a card-carrying member of the We Hate Lipstick brigade, I feel I must confess my sins: I bought Rimmel Apocalips in Big Bang and I FLIPPIN' love it. Whilst I will always (always) fear stained teeth and a stained face (I'm a face toucher), I think I can just about cope with it for this little wonder product.

The Great Food Budget Challenge

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 11 May 2013 18:48:00 +0000

A few weeks ago Jenn from Much To My Delight posted about the food budget challenge that she was about to undertake. She updated her blog weekly about the challenge and then at the end, with the news that her and her husband's total spend for the month of April was $1,041.57. Yowzer. Now I've suspected for a while that a large percentage of my earnings goes on what I'm eating and drinking but I thought it would be interesting (at least for me!) to actually find out exactly how much I spend. So for the next month (upto 10th June) everything I spend on food and drink (including any nights out and meals out) will be recorded in my nifty little Google Drive spreadsheet. It's no secret that I flippin' love spreadsheets so hopefully this won't turn out to be too arduous a task. Although I do fear I'm going to be absolutely horrified by the amount I've spent at the end of the month. I'll be checking in once a week, on a Saturday, with the rolling total.

This month might not be so typical as I'm actually staying at my parents for the next ten days or so, looking after their dogs. The fridge is pretty well stocked (best parents ever) but there were still a few bits and pieces that I needed (wanted, not needed) to pick up. I bought hot sauce, garlic, cucumber, grapes, chicken tikka pieces, gnocchi, apples, green beans, lemons, green tea, fromage frais, wholemeal bread, carrots, mushy peas and a couple of packets of pasta 'n' sauce (no judgement please, I usually cook from scratch but these are perfect for a quick meal after a long day at work) and that little lot cost me £20.23. Oh food, why must you be so delicious and expensive.

Spreadsheets on a Saturday night. I truly am living the dream. It's a good job there's a nice bottle of sauvignon blanc in the fridge to counteract my dullness.

Twinings Health Benefits Blend Teas

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Thu, 09 May 2013 07:30:00 +0000

I'm a huge herbal tea fan. My kitchen cupboards are groaning under the weight of my tea collection and a sizeable amount of my desk at work is filled with packet upon packet of the stuff. When Twinings got in touch with me a while ago (a long while ago as this post is massively delayed, for which I apologise) and offered to send me a few teas from their new range I jumped at the chance. I was sent boxes of Awake, Sleep and Detox tea (there are also Purify, Defence and Digest in the range) and I've been working my way through them ever since.

All the teas are delicious but I think Detox is my favourite. It contains lemon peel and milk thistle and I've been known to sip on this when suffering as a result of too much wine the night before. Miraculously, it actually does help! Sleep contains lavender, camomile and vanilla and, although I'm not normally a camomile tea fan, this is lovely to drink just before bed. I am a troubled sleeper (oh hai work stress) and I'm not entirely convinced that this tea has helped to solve that but it does definitely help me to relax, which is always nice. Awake has hints of ginger and ginseng, with rooibos and cinnamon. Again, I'm not sure that it really does wake me up, but the only thing that ever really manages to do that is a potent combination of sugar free fake Redbull (I am thrifty when it comes to energy drinks as this enables me to buy expensive candles. MAGIC!) and a venti Americano. Double trouble.

Overall I think it's really my failings as a human, rather than the failure of the teas, that result in them not exactly living up to their promises. Despite this, I really love these teas and the other three blends are definitely on my shopping list. Thanks Twinings!

Disclosure: I was sent the samples of tea but received no other compensation for this post

Five Things

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Wed, 08 May 2013 11:00:00 +0000

A good three years after I bought them these obscene Topshop leggings are still going strong. I must own at least 20 pairs of printed leggings (they're one of my addictions, along with pizza, dark chocolate peanut butter, ice cold Marlborough sauvignon blanc (my favourite) and really good steak) but these are definitely in the top five.

Frozen raspberries, sliced banana and coconut yoghurt are my new jam. Along with a huge cafetiere of Taylor's Lazy Sunday, obviously. With Glastonbury a mere seven weeks away (and with the need to squeeze into my denim shorts becoming ever more pressing) I'm eating fruit and vegetables like they're going out of fashion. Although I wish someone would tell my skin that as I appear to have become a teenager again.

More rug love. I can't help it, I'm totally smitten. Also, I think it's clear from this photo that I need to add "buying cushions" to my list of addictions. The Soldier constantly fights a losing war against my battalion of cushions.

The weather over the Bank Holiday weekend was absolutely glorious, at least in my little patch of South Manchester. On Monday I slapped some Factor 30 on, poured myself a large iced coffee and sat in my teeny yard in the baking sunshine flipping through issues of Grazia that have been gathering dust on my dining room table. It's quite rare that I actually sit down and read (does reading magazines even count?) but it's something that I definitely need to make more time for.

And here's me! On Saturday night I headed out to dinner with a couple of the girls from work. In honour of me actually being bothered to leave the house for the evening (I'm such a homebody these days) I even straightened my hair and wore super high heels. Shocking. It's been a while since I wore anything other than Converse or boots so my calves didn't know what had hit them the next day. Poor things.

Currently loving...

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Tue, 07 May 2013 07:30:00 +0000

1 & 2 - I was sent this beautiful bag by Joules and I'm absolutely in love with it. From the little rabbit (hare?) on the front to the bright pink wrist strap to the gorgeous lining to the buttery soft leather, it's just lovely. I don't really own many "grown up" handbags, despite my advancing years, so this is a welcome addition to my wardrobe and it's already had a fair few outings.

3 - I treated myself to this candle after a few very stressful weeks at work. Working so close to Space.NK is very bad for my bank balance! Diptyque candles are expensive, this is well documented, but I really don't think they can be beaten for strength of fragrance. Verveine is a gorgeous lemon scent that fills the house with fruity joy.

4 - I love all things ginger. Eating it, drinking it, smelling of it. This was a freebie with my last Origins order and I'll definitely be repurchasing it. It's gingery without being overpowering and I just love it.

5 - THAT Urban Outfitters rug that every blogger seems to have. It's a new addition to my living room and it really adds a little je ne sais quoi to the space. I have completely white walls throughout my house (bar a bright pink one in the spare room that my lodger of last year painted) so I like to add little bursts of pattern and colour wherever I can.

6 - NEON. I love it. That little pink number was a Topshop sale purchase and the yellow jumper was a pretaportobello sale purchase. Reduced neon makes my heart sing.

Dog Bowl, Manchester

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Mon, 06 May 2013 15:25:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago I was invited to head down to the newly opened Dog Bowl for some food and a game of bowling. I hadn't been bowling since I was about 14 so I was pretty flippin' excited to say the least. Unfortunately that excitement waned when, mid-game, it became apparent just how horrific I was at it. It didn't really help that The Soldier turned out to be really rather good. Competitive is my middle name and there may have been a slight huff when I was roundly trounced. Believe me, you don't ever want to play a board game with me. Still, it was fun. Really fun. And I LOVED the shoes. I'd wear those bad boys out, given half a chance.

So, what was the food like? Well, I've actually hesitated to write this post as I really don't like to be critical of places, particularly when I'm not even paying, BUT, it just wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. Certain aspects of the meal were great (the fries, the cocktails, the onion rings) but other things unfortunately overshadowed them. For a start, my food was lukewarm when it arrived, which is always unfortunate. I went for the Wing Burger (£8) and, whilst I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, I wasn't expecting only 2 small boneless chicken wings, a LOT of tomato and a massive (slightly stale) bun. The ratio of chicken to everything else was completely off and I ended up leaving the majority of the bun and the salad. The chicken wings were lovely but, at £8, this did feel massively overpriced. Plus, from the menu description, I'd been kind of hoping for lashings of buffalo sauce and some crumbled blue cheese, but these didn't appear. Instead the blue cheese and hot sauce had seemingly been combined into one sauce, which didn't really taste strongly of either.

The Soldier went for the The DB Burger, as there had been such a good write up of it on Manchester Confidential. The burger looked impressive when it arrived, speared by a steak knife, but unfortunately there was no sign of the "sauce and juices that pour from this delight" and, aside from the pulled pork, it was rather... dry. Again, the sweet potato fries were great though. In fact, I think they might be the best sweet potato fries I've ever had. Crunchy on the outside, fluffy on the inside and very moreish. Again, we did feel that the burger was slightly overpriced. If I'm going to pay £15 for a burger then I want it to be the best burger I've ever eaten and unfortunately this wasn't.

Having read other reviews of Dog Bowl, I do wonder whether we just had the misfortune of ordering badly. But, at the prices being charged, it shouldn't really be possible to order badly.

The interior of Dog Bowl is really nicely done. The decor and lighting are great and the bar area is very smart. The little touches are also really nice, including the salt and pepper shakers in the form of tiny little bowling pins. We would go back to Dog Bowl but I think we'd concentrate on the bowling, cocktails and other areas of the menu, as there are far better (and cheaper) burgers to be had in Manchester.

The DB Burger, sans onion ring topper

The Wing Burger

Disclosure: Soldier boy and I were guests of Dog Bowl, as organised by Manchester Confidential

Observations

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 04 May 2013 13:58:00 +0000

- If you wear bright pink shoes, people will feel the need to comment on them.

- I am more than my job, although it doesn't always feel that way.

- Sunny Saturday mornings with nothing to do and nowhere to go are my idea of heaven. There has been coffee, a Masterchef marathon, raspberries, coconut yoghurt and catching up on my favourite blogs. Perfect.

- I miss New York. This is not helped by Alice's recent posts about her adentures, although I am loving them.

- In 8 weeks' time I will be merrily drinking cider in a big field with about 200,000 other people.

- In 9 weeks' time there will be a BOY living in my house and I cannot wait. Ask me again in 10 weeks' time.

- It is important to notice and be thankful for those small moments each day that both restore my faith in humanity and make me smile, inwardly and outwardly.

- Sometimes an inconvenient fit of hysterical laughter at something inconsequential is enough to get you through the day.

The weekend that was

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 20:14:00 +0000

The weekend included but was not limited to: bowling at Dog Bowl (I sucked), drinking Negronis at Gorilla, dinner with friends, watching Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead (I am obsessed with it) and, last but by no means least, a trip to the amazing Levenshulme Market (4th Saturday of every month. If you live locally then you really should give it a try) for (deep breath!)... sausages, lovely tea, pide, dukkah, steak, chutney, sweet chilli gloop, game and ham hock scotch eggs, mini baked cheesecakes (peanut butter and chocolate orange, oh mama!), cheese, rye bread, potato cakes and some of Ginger's amazing Chorlton Crack ice cream. That's salted caramel and peanut butter to you and it is incredible. Truly.

So, there was food. A lot of food. My eternal battle with my waistline is well documented here. I've lost a lot of weight, I've gained a fair bit of it back. I yo-yo up and down, depending on what week it is, what plans I have and where my head's at. In the past couple of weeks I've been trying to focus more on how I feel and whether I'm happy, rather than just the number on the scales. It seems to be working. While I still miss the iron willpower days of 2010 (seriously, that girl was ridiculously strong-willed), right now I think I'm ok with just doing what I'm doing. I eat healthily (90% of the time), I drink 3 litres of water a day, I drink alcohol infrequently and I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables.

I think sometimes I just need to be a bit kinder to myself. I should celebrate my triumphs and the things that I do well, rather than just focussing on my weaknesses (cheese, fyi, always and forever).

Starting over, once again

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 18:22:00 +0000

Over the last few months, or longer if I'm being totally honest, I've lost my way with this whole blogging thing. I've been massively overthinking it and, as a result, I've just ended up writing nothing at all. I first started this blog after a very bad break up. It was my outlet for how I was feeling and it helped me to find my way through a very bleak time. Then I lost a lot of weight and this blog became a place where I posted about my outfits and other frivolous things.

And now? Well, I think it's time for a bit of an update. For reasons unknown to me, I stopped writing about personal things here and, whilst I don't want to go back to the heady and ridiculously emotional over-sharing days of 2008/2009 (there be monsters), I do want to start sharing a bit more here. My favourite blogs to read are those where you get a sense of who the person is and what their life is really like. I'd like this place to become more like that again.

So, here goes... I'm 31. A whole five years older than I was when I began CYH. I'm in a long distance relationship that is soon to become non-long distance. The Soldier is moving in with me in July and he will be The Ex-Soldier by then. Yikes! I am two stone heavier than I was at the end of 2010 and not pleased about it all. I have a job that sucks the life out of me and leaves me completely exhausted, but I'm thankful for it all the same. According to the Sunday Times, I live in the 8th most hip and upcoming place in the country. Whilst I would never describe Levenshulme as hip, I do love living here, very very much. I currently have an unhealthy obsession with Miista shoes, Masterchef, homemade coleslaw, counting down the days until the weekend, iced americanos with sugar free hazelnut syrup, expensive candles, planning dream holidays and Bonobo's new album. I am very, very happy most of the time but just occasionally I am filled with crippling self-doubt. I never get enough sleep.

So, that's me. What's new with you?

Belfasting

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 14:18:00 +0000

Just a few cheeky little Instagram snaps from my long Easter weekend in Belfast with The Soldier. We ate (Boojum, Alley Cat, Hudson, Sakura), drank (The John Hewitt, The Northern Whig, The Crown Liquor Saloon), walked miles, slept well and long, ate chocolate eggs, watched Game of Thrones, saw the Warhol exhibit at The MAC and went to the Ulster Museum.

Just lovely.

Spring-ish

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 16:09:00 +0000

In an attempt to combat the grey, freezing days that we've been having recently, I've been on a mission to bring some spring to my life. Blood oranges (SO GOOD), some pieces from the new Celia Birtwell x UNIQLO collection, double florals and colourful, healthy food have all helped to brighten up this week. I can even almost ignore the snow that is falling outside my window as I type this.

Just as a bit of housekeeping, as I'm sure you've read on virtually every single blog recently, on 1st July Google Reader will cease to be. When I first heard the news I was actually a little bit sad. Google Reader has been a part of my life for a fair few years now and it does feel slightly like the end of an era.

However, clearly I'm very fickle as I've already switched over to Feedly and, whilst I do feel slightly like I'm cheating on Google Reader, I have to say that I think I actually prefer it. Shhh, don't tell Google Reader, I don't want to hurt its feelings.

If Feedly isn't your bag, then you can carry on following Clear Your Heart over on Bloglovin' or by clicking on either of the Feedburner links in the right hand sidebar and subscribing.

Oh, and just in case you'd like to see more incessant pictures of what I've been eating, wearing or doing (all filler, no killer) then you can follow me on Instagram too.

Neighbourhood, Manchester

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 20:29:00 +0000

A few weeks ago now, my resident co-diner and I headed out to Neighbourhood in Spinningfields to gorge ourselves on "New York inspired" food, cocktails and delicious wine. I'd actually already eaten at Neighbourhood on New Year's Eve but with a few niggles over service on the night, I was keen to try the restaurant under more "normal" circumstances.

We started with a couple of cocktails and they were a pair of corkers. That's a Basil Grand (fresh strawberry with Grand Marnier, Chambord and basil leaf) in the background and a Modern Old Fashioned (bourbon with blazed and flambéed fruits) just in front. Just gorgeous.

We were absolutely spoilt for choice with the starters (starters are generally my favourite part of any meal, fact fans) but opted for the artisan board and the lobster tacos. Oh. My. Word. The artisan board was great but it really didn't stand a chance against the lobster tacos. Gorgeous little morsels of beer battered lobster, red cabbage slaw, sweet pepper ketchup and guacamole all wrapped up in little tiny flour tortillas. I could have eaten about 15 on my own. They're normally served in portions of three but we requested an extra one so that we didn't have to resort to a fist fight over the table. Noone needs a fist fight over seafood on a Thursday evening.

For main course I (obviously) chose the Neighbourhood burger (toasted brioche bun, cheese, mac sauce & bacon) and Beth went for the baked lobster mac & cheese (double lobster is just how that girl rolls). Both were great and it was around about halfway through that we started to feel REALLY full. I mean, look at that burger! Huge doesn't even cover it. Apologies for the horrendous smudge in that last picture as I fear my burgery fingers may have smeared the lens. I am so glamorous. I felt the picture needed to be seen though, just for the pinkness of that meat. Glorious.

The lovely gentleman who looked after us (note to self: get names in future) along with our waitress recommended the wine after asking us what we liked and what we were in the mood for. I'm a massive fan of a Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc and this one was fabulous. Fruity, crisp and very very easy to drink. Not necessarily a good thing when Beth and I are around.

For dessert, despite being horrendously full and rapidly developing stomach pains (my greed knows no bounds), we chose to share the ice cream cones and the box of doughnuts. The ice creams were beautiful (we went for hazelnut and latte flavours) and were actually quite soothing after the gluttony that had gone before. The doughnuts were the only let down of the night. They were a little bit too dry and almost stale tasting. They were redeemed somewhat by the huge marshmallows and chocolate sauce that they came with though. I do love me a huge marshmallow.

All in all it was an incredible meal. The service was great, the atmosphere was buzzy and the decor was lovely. A special mention must also go to the absolute TUNES that were being played all night. We unashamedly danced in our seats on more than one occasion.

Neighbourhood may not be cheap, but for a special meal out it's definitely worth the price tag. I'm looking forward to going for brunch next and maybe (definitely) another cocktail or five.

Disclosure: Beth and I were guests of Neighbourhood, as organised by Manchester Confidential

Shine bright

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 20:57:00 +0000

I've been absent again for a little while. Whilst I have been ridiculously busy, as per usual, I've also been searching for the right words.

You see, my very lovely friend Lisa passed away last week and right now it's hard to make sense of a world where she is gone. Because, quite simply, it's just so ridiculously unfair.

It's hard to put into words just how wonderful she was. Funny, beautiful and completely and utterly badass. She inspired me more than she knew and I'm so thankful that I was able to call her a friend.

The last time I saw Lisa in person was at Glastonbury in 2011. We drank gin-in-a-can, ate Pieminister pies and danced to Tinie Tempah in the sunshine. Pretty flippin' special.

So, this year at Glastonbury I'll be raising a drink or five to Lisa Lynch, my friend, who shone so brightly that she dazzled.

Miss you, bird.

Life, lately

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 14:58:00 +0000

Oh dear dear dear. That was an entirely unintentional hiatus! I won't apologise, as there's really nothing worse than a blogger who constantly says sorry for not posting regularly. However, I will just say that I have absolutely no idea how it's March already. Fastest. Year. Ever.

So, without further ado, here are a few pictures from the past few weeks...

Pictures 1-3 are from the first weekend in February, when The Soldier and I attended the wedding of the lovely K&B in Edinburgh. It was a perfect day (I cried, obviously) and an amazing weekend. So amazing that I barely remembered to take any photos in fact. Soldier boy met me at the train station with the tulips, the little keeper. We stayed at Hotel Missoni and it was absolutely wonderful. Not least because of the complimentary San Pellegrino Limonta and Aranciata. Oh, and the fact that the letter 'H' was plastered everywhere. Made for me, clearly.

The rest of the photos are from a little weekend in Wales that we treated ourselves to just after Valentine's Day. We stayed in Ruthin but went for days out to Llandudno and Llangollen. The weather was perfect, the food and wine were (too plentiful) and it was lovely to be out in the countryside for a couple of days. We also had Sunday lunch at Tyddyn Llan on the way down and that too was amazing. Anywhere that serves me fresh scotch eggs and Glamorgan sausages as canapes gets my vote.

Basically, life's been pretty blissful. No complaints here.

Livebait, Manchester

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 20:53:00 +0000

Last Thursday Beth and I ventured out into the snowy night to sample the delights at Livebait. A long time fixture on the Manchester dining scene, Livebait has been on my "to eat" list for ages. I wasn't disappointed. The staff who greeted us were warm and welcoming and the service throughout the meal was absolutely impeccable.

Whilst perusing the menus, we ordered some olives and some bread and dukkah (no, I'd never heard of it either) to nibble on. The dukkah was an absolute revelation and every time I've eaten bread since I've been devastated not to have a delicious little pot of spices to dip it into. The olives were also AMAZING. I am a huge olive fan but these were some of the best I've ever had.

I couldn't resist ordering the whitebait for my starter. It reminds me of childhood holidays to Cornwall and Devon and, conversely, of eating in the pub at the end of my road in Cheshire as a little girl. These were great. Crispy, well seasoned little morsels of fishy joy. They didn't really need the accompanying aioli but I obviously ate it anyway. Turns out I'm a big fan of aioli too. B ordered the squid, which was served with a fiery ginger and chilli dipping sauce. Delicious.

Next up was the main event: lobster. Anything that requires four implements in order to eat it is absolutely fine by me. We ordered one grilled Nova Scotia lobster and one lobster thermidor to share between us. Both were served with a fresh little salad and some fantastic chips. Having never been lucky enough to have a whole lobster before I have little frame of reference BUT this was superb. Both the lobsters were pefectly cooked and very well seasoned. The thermidor just edged it for me. Cheese. Butter. Yes.

Poor fella. Not a very dignified end at my clumsy hands.

You may be wondering how on earth we managed to eat all of the above and still have room for two huge (technically meant to be shared) desserts. Well, my friends, we like food. A lot. I in particular do not know my limits and will eat so quickly in order to finish a fantastic meal that I will be rendered immobile when the food actually hits my stomach some 20 minutes later. Fun times. Greedy times.

The trio of desserts was fabulous. Lemon posset with raspberries, vanilla cheesecake with honeycomb and caramel and a tiny little apple crumble with custard. Just gorgeous. I only had a taste of the cheesecake but can confirm it is well worth a visit to Livebait just for that. The cheeses were also great, with the smoked cheddar and candied almonds being a particular highlight.

I can't comment on the wine (23 days dry, AHEM) but B certainly seemed to enjoy the glasses she had. I drank a litre of sparkling water instead. Rock 'n' roll, baby.

We had a wonderful time at Livebait and really couldn't fault it. It's a lovely space and, when we went, it was far too quiet. It deserves to be busier, even on a snowy, cold January night. They're even doing a 50% off food offer until 7th February so I urge you to go and gorge yourself on deliciousness.

Disclosure: Beth and I were guests of RBG, as organised by Manchester Confidential

Sunday looks like...

noreply@blogger.com (Helen) — Sun, 13 Jan 2013 16:43:00 +0000

A late start (for me) followed by an attempt to get my winter-ravaged face back into some sort of decent condition. A lazy morning of blog reading, taking the bins out (glamourrr), a healthy breakfast and then a trip to the Malmaison for brunch with my friend C. I was lucky enough to win brunch for two on Twitter and it was absolutely amazing. Not pictured: Salmon, caesar salad, cream cheese stuffed peppers, mustard new potatoes, chorizo, croissant, bread, cheese. Oh, and an ice cream sundae. My Slimming World healthy eating took a bit of a hit today to be honest. Oops.

I also took my Mustard shopper bag for a spin to Tesco (again, glamour!) and confirm that it's definitely better and infinitely more stylish than the ratty old bag for life that usually inhabits the bottom of my handbag.

I wore my trusty Office Nighthawks and I'm still so utterly in love with them. So comfortable and bright and I just feel like clicking my heels constantly whilst wearing them. I have ruined about 12 pairs of tights by wearing them though. Damn my incessant need to sit with one foot underneath me at all times. The Pilgrim necklace was sent to me by those lovely folks at Very and, whilst it's not my usual style at all, a bit of bling felt quite appropriate to wear to a fancy brunch.

It's just started to snow here and I've just settled down on the sofa (wearing fleecy joggers, oh yes) with Mannequin on the tv and a cup of green tea at my side. Perfect.

Disclosure: I was sent both the bag and the necklace but received no further compensation for this post