This blog is really important to me, and I’m still full of ideas, but I haven’t been having time to sew for myself, let alone write about sewing!

See you all soon!

The Gorge really is a long walk next to a sheer drop-off into the rapids of the Cuyahoga River. It’s also partially closed, muddy, and eroding into the rock-filled ravines.

But, still I love it. Although next time I go hiking there I will not bring these three people with me unless I can also bring Rob. He was on a plane to Boston, so I decided to kill some time on Sunday afternoon with a moderate hike with the girls. We hit the trail right at the start of nap time, so I’m very impressed that we made it at all. Let alone that we were able to not fall to our doom, not fight even once, and not get stuck in the mud. Unfortunately, I was too busy preventing all of these inevitabilities so I wasn’t able to capture any more pictures.

The girls were really excited about seeing Mary Campbell’s cave. They were surprised it was so big, and were suspicious that it was even a cave at all. Olivia was really upset that her church socks got all muddy (why did she wear them?!). Elise was really worried she was going to fall into a ravine. And Cressida was really torn between choosing to be carried and walking by herself.

At the end of the hike I met Greg (I think) from Live Instense. Live Intense is the brain child of three recent college graduates who are trying to promote intentionally living in the outdoors. They were meeting up with people for a monthly group hike and had their banner out, so I stopped by to see what was up. Greg told me that they are in the final days of a Kickstarter Campaign to raise money for some T-Shirts to promote their website and their group. Why don’t you hop on over to their website and see if you’d like to kick a couple of dollars their way?

And thanks, Greg, for the bottled water, I had used all of ours to wash off Olivia’s church socks.

Since I knew that the kids would devour green beans pretty much no matter how they are served they made the perfect first choice for my latest cooking experiment. My friend Colleen let me borrow her Sun Oven! And let me tell you, the green beans were outstanding! Moist, still crisp, slightly caramelized, and quickly devoured.

So, what is a sun oven? It’s an insulated outdoor oven which directs the sun’s heat into the cooking chamber with giant metal reflectors. There are many tutorials online on how to make your own, which I may try after I have to give back my loaner, but buying one is pretty cool, too.

I have used the sun oven twice now, each time at about 4pm, facing west. The days were fully sunny and I got an average temperature of 275* in the cooking chamber. According to the directions, if you’d like to get a higher temperature, like around 350* to 400* you can grab the southern sun at noon by aiming the oven towards the south. Then your food will get a high heat in the early day, and the oven temperature will slowly lower to around 200* in the evening once the sun is no longer directly into the funnel of the reflectors. So essentially you are slow roasting food in a completely energy free way (after manufacture and shipping of course).

Is anyone else out there cooking in a sun oven? Are you using a handmade one or a manufactured one? If you’re using a handmade one, what is your average temperature? I am really excited about the possibility of using a sun oven in the summer when my western facing kitchen is too hot to cook in, but I want to know if it is worth it to make one, or if I should just buy the same model Colleen let me borrow. Feedback, please!

After the TIME magazine ran, I was contacted by Eric Mansfield from Chanel 3 News. He wanted to know if I would weigh in on the controversy. I agreed and this is the link to the video.

I didn’t get to say what I was hoping to say on air. I am proud of what I did say, but I was nervous so I forgot to mention that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years, and that the average global weaning age is around 4 years old. But even more importantly, I wanted to say we are all mom enough. And it inspired me to write the essay which follows the jump.

Today TIME magazine ran a cover story about Dr. Sears and attachment parenting which featured a super hot mama nursing her three year old while he stands on a stool under the headline “Are you MOM enough!!!??” I watched the controversy unfold while I was taking my daily facebook break during my (still nursing) two and a half year old’s nap. Of course the cover photo was intentionally provocative, the woman was exposing her whole breast and her son was standing up in front of her looking at the camera. And the controversy was working, the internet was aflutter with comments. Mostly people were wishing that they hadn’t poured fuel on the breast/bottle fire. But I just saw an awesomely attractive woman proudly nursing her son. Good for them.

When I gave birth to my first baby I was going to do it all right. Natural childbirth. Never using cry-it-out. Breastfeeding as long as she wanted to nurse. I was militant in my choices because I needed to stand firm on something. I had to stand on my militance, because it wasn’t my confidence holding me up. If I could believe it strong enough, and prove everyone else wrong enough then I could know I was making the right choice. No one could shake me.

No one it is, except for my own kid. She came ten days late so they forced me into an labor induction of doom. She was hard to get to sleep, always waking up 20 minutes after I laid her down in her bassinet. But the one thing I could get her to do was breastfeed. Forget the fact that she would puke like a volcano after many of her feedings. Never mind that I could hardly get her to latch, she was always popping off my nipple which would spray milk five feet in every direction. I would sit in the cozy glider and wonder why my child wanted to nurse every twenty minutes all night long and still wake up to nurse at night. She was supposed to be satiated after a feeding every 2 or 3 hours! I read the books, I knew that’s how it was supposed to work!

But I pushed through, growing more an more militant in my choice because I was truly worried we wouldn’t make it. Eventually six weeks became six month. Six months became a year. A year became 19 months, when my milk dried up because I was a few weeks pregnant with her sister. And I was proud of the job I did. I was proud of the bond I had with my kid. But I couldn’t easily admit that I had compromised. Not only had I had an induced labor, not only had I let her cry in her bed on a few occasions because I just couldn’t figure out what else to do, I also had made her wean before she chose to. I had not met any of my goals, but I couldn’t say my goals were wrong. I was going to try again, and try harder. I could be mom enough. And everyone else had better be striving to be that same mom-enough-mom as me or else they just aren’t mom enough.

I was condescending to people. It’s true. I would judge people for having a stroller. I went against the guidelines of my hospital and had a water birth even though I was asked during my labor to get out of the tub before I squeezed out my second daughter without pain medication. I stopped covering up in public to breastfeed (which I still do, even though I’m no longer an activist about it) and would scoff at crafty moms who sold handmade nursing covers to moms who wanted to be more discreet. I knew every single benefit of breastfeeding and I would vary which one’s I listed depending on my audience. Sometimes I highlighted the cost savings over formula, sometimes it was the reduced risk of SIDS, asthma, uneven teeth, eczema, and low IQ. I really was a teet nazi. I would get physically upset if I saw a woman bottle feeding in public, I would grieve for that poor child and their inevitable orthodontic visits and rescue inhalers.

My second daughter spent every night in our bed. She never has taken a bottle in her whole life. She was never left to cry in the night. And, she spent most of her time out and about in a baby sling on my back. I was the ideal Attachment Parent. I was giving my kids the BEST. THE BEST I TELL YOU! It was phenomenal for the first year of my second daughter’s life. Then she began to get bossy. She got clingy. We called her “Barnacle” and she would throw these terrible fits where her eyes rolled back in her head. She stopped sleeping at night. My perfect parenting was failing me, but I couldn’t turn back on it now!

Or could I?

I had a friend who I fought with incessantly for over a year about how to best feed a baby. I said, feed that baby whenever, where ever. You can’t spoil a baby. Don’t make them wait, they’re just little cute babies. She said, feed them on a schedule. It will help make life more sane. Don’t feed them any more than once every three hours. You’re setting them up for poor eating and sleeping habits. I think we spent 80 hours at least debating this issue in full. Clearly we are both very stubborn women.

I was so excited when her second was born and needed to eat more often than her first.  And was fussier. And more demanding. She’s going to learn now…. hahahaha! Babies are all tough and clingy. Pop a boob in their mouth, that’s the only way to keep the peace!

Never mind the fact that I was still being condescending, this time to my own friend. And my perfectly parented kid was giving me fits. I couldn’t figure out how to get her to sleep. Maybe that schedule stuff wasn’t such a bad idea after all…..

When my third baby was born, something happened inside me. I just didn’t have time to give a crap anymore about how I was parenting. I knew that I was going to breastfeed. I didn’t have to prove it to anyone. I knew that I liked sleeping with my baby and I also knew that I wanted some more boundaries than I had with my second baby. We shared a bed with her for a while until it wasn’t working anymore and we unceremonially moved her to a crib in her big sisters’ room when she was eight months old. I didn’t even care if anyone knew where she was sleeping. Sometimes when we were out, if I didn’t feel like dealing with people’s looks and glares I would wait to nurse her until we got home, even if I knew she was hungry. I was too busy being a mom to fight the fight anymore.

But today when I saw that TIME cover ask “Are you MOM enough?” I suddenly wanted to fight again. In fact when I started writing these essays a few months ago I was beginning to fight again. But this time I was fighting a new battle. I am getting sick and tired of women pointing fingers at each other. We should be done with this by now. I am not threatening the feminist agenda by hanging out at home with my kids until they go to school. This is my choice. Plus, I’m not foolish enough anymore to say that I haven’t sacrificed anything to be home with them. I want a career. I want to contribute to this world more than just three well behaved daughters who get good grades and make good choices as teenagers.

I’m also not foolish enough to think that the women who are at work while their kids are in daycare aren’t sacrificing something as well. They miss their kids’ first steps and teeth. I know this because I taught daycare and celebrated those first steps and teeth. But these women are contributing to a career in a way I never will be able to, and I admit I am jealous! Plus, it was their choice. Isn’t that what we are all fighting for in the first place? The right to make our own choices? To vote, to work, to not be mothers until we’re ready, to be mothers before we choose anything else, to bottle-feed, or to breastfeed where ever we feel like for as long as we’d like? These are all valid choices. Let’s make them!

Sometimes the choices we make turn out to be mistakes, but we have to live with them the best we can. Or sometimes they weren’t mistakes but the choice wasn’t as fulfilling as we’d hoped it would be. Or sometimes we never had the chance to choose because of the way life works and so we’re just reacting to our circumstances. This is when we feel tempted to be the militant I once was. We can dig in our heels to prove our worth by the sheer tenacity with which we hold our values. Or we can cling to each other, we are all trying to figure this out as best we can. But the one thing I know is we are ALL mom enough. And none of us are mom enough. Both is true. Let’s have a glass of wine and laugh about it a little, OK?

I get distracted by my garden, my friends, my kids, my desire to learn how to build a drip irrigation system…. And another project that I am so excited to share, but I’m not quite ready yet.

Kid's Cape made by Portage Trail Barn

In any case. I have much less than 14 bags to offer at the sale, but the ones I do have are really great. You’ve seen the photos before. I’m also bringing some items which I made last year, some arm cuffs and headbands and stuff.

Mostly, I’m just glad to be a part of such a unique retail opportunity. My friend Mary Beth is such a creative and industrious person. She’s a real up-by-your-bootstraps kind of woman. And she has chickens, which is something I really want (anyone want an awesome house in west akron with fabulous neighors so I can move to a house with a yard big enough for chickens?).

There are many other vendors offering their wares at the sale, too. So you will need to check out the Portage Trail Barn blog to see her featured sellers to know what to look forward to.  And even better, you can head over to the sale next weekend and feel all the hand crafted goodness with your own fingers. I am planning on restocking my supply of hand knit dish cloths. As well as finding some handmade gifts for my mom’s birthday!

Spring Barn Sale- May 17-19

Thursday 5p-8p

Friday and Saturday 10a-3p

About 30 to 40 people were in attendance, each one bringing one or more plants to share. As everyone mingled in the parking lot, huddled into little circles to keep warm, we’d OOOoooo and AAAaahhhhh as new species were put on the offering pile. Divisions were separated into three basic catergories: edibles, flowers/perennials, and ground covers. The show stoppers of the day were the bleeding heart and Mary Bethel‘s aloe, for sure. Everyone was whispering that they were hoping to get a bit to take home.

Elaine had all the swappers draw a number from 1 to 100. Then she called them in order, and as your number was called you were able to go pick three plants. As things were chosen, seasoned gardeners would help newer gardeners choose plants, describing their type and how they like to be grown. People grabbed strawberry starts and herbs for their vegetable gardens.

Even though I drew number 75, I was not left out of the abundance. I was able to replace some of the hostas which Sherman has dug up and tossed around. I also grabbed a giant fern, some parsley, a couple pots of evening primrose, and a bleeding heart cut for Rob’s mom.  Once all of the swappers were able to pick three plants it was opened up for a “free for all” until all the plants were gone. It was amazing. I don’t think that a single plant was left over.

I just put my transplants in the ground this afternoon, and it’s raining a nice little sprinkle on them. I want to give them a day or two to perk up and see what makes it before I take pictures of them in their new homes. I’ll let you know what makes it!

Well, I immediately thought of local Paqarina Farms because of their work in urban farming in Akron. They might not have been using sunflowers to clean up their land in the Akron City Limits, but they have definitely used organic principals to make that rusty old patch of soil a viable farm which can even support customers and a CSA. I emailed Karmi, one of the owners of Paqarina to ask if she would come speak to our girls and she said, “absolutely!”

Yesterday was the day she came to speak with the girls and it was a hit! Our scouts were so amazed that our Farmer was not a man, but a woman! They sat down to hear “Miss Karmi” explain their bee hives, horse plows and companion planting. My daughter Olivia informed everyone that bee hive collapse is happening because of pesticides in High Fructose Corn Syrup (which was both adorable and embarassing). The Troop decided that I was the Queen Bee and they were the worker bees. And everyone played with tools.

Here’s the troop working in their journals drawing something they learned about farming from Miss Karmi. Most of the girls were really inspired by the “three sisters” so you can see their corn and beans in the pictures.

Miss Karmi invited us to visit in the summer when all of the crops are in full swing and her chickens are out and about. And I plan on paying her a visit to the Highland Square Countryside Conservancy Farmer’s Market on Thursdays this summer. I’ll keep you posted as to what else my kiddos learn from Miss Karmi later on!

Templeton Goods is named for the infamous Templeton the rat from E. B. White’s Charlotte’s Web because (almost) everything I use for materials is reclaimed or repurposed. I’ve never been very good at buying new materials anyway, so this is really just comes naturally to me. Last year I really focused on men’s wear fabrics: herringbone, houndstooth, chambray, cotton shirting. These fabrics are so abundant and universally stylish I just loved working with them. If you came to Crafty Mart last year I’m sure you saw me hawking them.

This year I’ve moved onto a new fabric to work with. Colleen brought me over a coffee bean bag which she bought from a local coffee shop. The fabric was just so cool! It had prints from the countries the beans were grown in. Some of the bags had rainforest alliance logos printed on them. The weave is loose and summery. I was very inspired. I’ve made some coffee cup sleeves out of the material, which are with a vendor waiting to be sold so I can’t photo them. But the crown jewel of accessories I’ve made with these coffee bags are the purses and totes.

I am in love with them. They are fun to sew (though they create a large quantity of dust). And each one turns out different! I’ve been pairing the totes with fabrics I’ve collected from my favorite trash-dive, Zero Landfill.

I’m so excited about the way these are turning out it hasn’t been hard to stay motivated in the sewing room. Expect more combinations to be revealed soon! And head over to Templeton’s FB page and like me. You’ll be updated when new items get posted in the store.

Oops. I bought my first new bike ever. It’s the 7100, and it is basically like gliding down the road on butter.  It is so smooth!

Can I just say that buying a new bike at Eddy’s is like all of the things I like at once? Athletic gear, outdoor opportunities, small business support, family togetherness, eco-friendly transportation. Basically, it’s perfect.

Here’s the photos of the girls’ and my bike outing. We loaded everyone up and hit the Memorial Trailhead of the Towpath for a quick before dinner ride. I keep the bike rack on the van from April to November, just in case we need to hit the trail on a whim.

Please note my hipster basket toting my purse. I could have bought one at Eddy’s for a pretty hefty price, and I would have been happy. But I happen to have had a basket just the right size sitting in my garage doing nothing at all. So my neighbor gave me some heavy duty plastic chord ties and we attached that sucker to my handle bars. I am officially cooler now that I have a basket on my hybrid bike. And a bike trailer, too. Yes. I’m feeling cool.

She uses the Legos to build elaborate houses with multiple rooms, gardens, stables, cars and appliances. I’m completely impressed and see a possible Elise Lloyd Wright in my future.

We bought Olivia a set of Legos for Christmas, too. The Hogwarts Castle set. Olivia, Elise, and my husband Rob all sat down together and built the castle following the directions to a T. Then it went up on a shelf until last week when Rob gave Elise permission to harvest it for parts. She was already using Hagrid’s hair to make a second mom, and all the wands for broom sticks (see photo below), but now she wanted to use the castle windows for her home.

I always see her working on it on her work table. I help her get the one block thick pieces unstuck every once in a while. But some how I hadn’t noticed how elaborate her house was until today when I was vacuuming under the table and had to grab all the loose pieces before they got sucked up. Did you see that stove? Did you see the table, complete with center piece and service ware? It’s amazing! No wonder my two year old, Cressida, is always trying to steal it!

She even has an area rug in this room. And vases on the shelf below the TV. See what I’m saying? Elise Lloyd Wright. Lego Genius.