A lot of people were unhappy with Big Love this past season. Which is fair. Personally, I loved watching Bill slowly drift into funny farm territory by ramping up the velocity at which he has visions for the future of his family. And in general, it’s tough to take issue with anything that Bill Paxton does, because he’s a terrific actor.

But the major downside that I do see with a shift of focus from Bill the businessman to Bill the politician is that a new vocation will bring with it a new cast of characters. Or more specifically, leave behind the old ones. We actually already experienced it when Bill shifted his focus from Home Plus to the Blackfoot casino. Where the hell has Don (Joel McKinnon Miller) gone? Oh sure, we’ve seen him here and there, but he’s no longer a regular player in the drama that makes up the show. Or is he?

I’ve been thinking back recently to the many injustices that Don’s been forced to suffer at the hands of Bill. There was the time he had to baby-sit the defaced highway billboard. Or when he had to lie-in-wait as Bill tried to get the Greens and Roman arrested. Or the countless occasions when Bill has shoved business decisions down Don’s throat. And he just stands there and takes it.

And then there’s his personal life. We’ve certainly never gotten the impression that Don’s doing as well financially as Bill is. At least I haven’t. And two of his wives ran off with most of his children — the implications of polygamy aside, that’s tough. And while Don should have shared that with Bill instead of letting it jeopardize their presentation to Jerry, I think Don knew Bill well enough to decide that he shouldn’t rush to share that information with Bill. Because Bill’s never been there for Don.

Asking him to take the fall for the Home Plus health insurance scam, thereby outing himself as a polygamist, was horrible. I mean, it was excruciating to listen to Bill ask, as well as to hear Don do it. It’s no wonder his kid threw something through Bill’s window in the finale; I’d actually call that a tame, restrained reaction by Don’s family. This guy, who’s living high off the hog with a business chain and a casino, and is running for political office, destroyed their lives to save his own. I’m amazed that there’s yet to be an assassination attempt.

Which actually leads me to my vision of the future. I know Don’s a gentle man, and I know we saw relief and pride splashed across his face when Bill, during his victory speech, revealed that he was a polygamist. But Don’s troubles are far from over, and Bill is definitely not finished stepping on Don’s neck to reach ever higher. One of these days, Don’s going to snap.

And slaughter Bill.

I’m not talking about long-range sniper stuff, neither. I’m talking slaughter. Brutal, ugly, vicious stuff, the likes of which The Sopranos didn’t dare show us. The kind of thing that would send the gals from Sunshine Cleaning running for the hills. Or that would turn Hannibal Lecter’s stomach, and possibly make him go vegan.

It’s going to be painful. It’s going to be hard to watch. The FCC will fine and censure HBO for years to come. But Don Embry’s going to get his due. He’ll have his pound of flesh … and then some.

And when he’s all finished, and justice has been served, he’ll go back to court and fight for custody of his kids. Because that’s what a good man does.

And because that’s where a good series finale ends.

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Tara’s back Guest-Clacking for us again, after confessing that she’s addicted to celebrity reality TV last time she wrote.

The Mister and I were there for the first season of Sober House, because, as I mentioned in my last guest clack, we do not miss a moment of this kind of stuff. Hey, I feel no shame. I think that there are a lot of us out there who can admit our supreme jealousy towards the famous (or even the quasi). And most of the time we just have to live with that icky feeling in our guts. Until a celebrity gets fat, arrested, hooked, divorced, or in any other way goes down in flames while filming it. Then they are fair game, people.

With this in mind, let’s discuss the first episode of Sober House. For those of you still in the dark, here’s the 411. Dr. Drew Pinsky, head psychologist and “sober upper” of celebrities, has a show you may have heard of called Celebrity Rehab. In it, we follow a handful of really sick and doped out famous people, during their first month of sobriety. Dr. Drew counsels along the way, until they “graduate.”

That’s when the good Doc gives them the choice of whether or not to continue their recovery at Sober House. Many choose to go home and chance it. Others choose to keep making money from VH1 and go to Sober House, for a few additional weeks of filming. That was mean. I meant that many choose to commit to ongoing recovery at an assisted living facility, never thinking of the extra money and exposure they’ll get.

This year, we follow along as NBA star Dennis Rodman, ex-madam Heidi Fleiss, actor Tom Sizemore, a couple of ex porn stars (Jenni Ketcham and Kendra Rossi), a former very snarky Miss Teen USA (Kari Ann Peniche) and hard rocker Mike Starr–all move into the Sober House.

The house is run by ex-addict-and-actress Jennifer Gimenez, who is one tough lil’ cookie. As she proved last season, Jennifer can handle the worst of the worst addicts. But methinks she may have her hands full this time with Kari Ann Peniche. One episode down, and already the sparks are flying between these two. And it’s no wonder. This Kari Ann girl is a menace. I’ve seen her on three of Dr. Drew’s shows now, and if she screams at a staff member to “get me some f’ing juice!” one more time….

Meanwhile, Tom Sizemore checks in with a crack pipe in his luggage, and Dennis Rodman doesn’t want to follow any rules because “everyone on the planet knows who I am.” Heidi Fleiss is more than bitter that Tom is there (google their past — I don’t have the time to explain). And the porn stars are moping, because there’s no hanky panky allowed.

At the end of the first episode, the Mister and I were all aquiver with the slaps and relapses we are promised this season. Wait. Is that so wrong?

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For all of you worried that the criminal justice system does nothing to rehabilitate hardened criminals, allay your fears. Because if Chris Partlow can become a man of God, the prison system does work.

Okay, so obviously I’m talking about an actor who played two different fictional characters, but seeing Chris (the exceedingly talented Gbenga Akinnagbe) as Pastor Isaiah Easton? Awesome.

And how about the guy playing his father? Does the name Frankie Faison ring any bells? As in, Commissioner Ervin Burrell of the Baltimore Police Department? Burrell and Chris back together again, both pastors, both seemingly not corrupt? Yeah you do. And interestingly enough, all this just a week after I compared Will becoming a drug lawyer to Maury Levy (Michael Kostroff) representing the likes of Avon and Marlo. The Wire is finally becoming part of mainstream consciousness … two years after going off the air.

Anyway, Pastor Isaiah and Eli Gold had a really revealing conversation about Peter and his repentance. I don’t like the idea of politicians seeking out God to cleanse themselves, but the discussion that Eli and Isaiah had spells out exactly what I think Peter is being blind to. As far as his camp is concerned, Peter’s done his penance. And I think he considers that true in the case of his family as well. But he hasn’t! And the good pastor was right on the money there. Peter owes his family and the public a lot, and the truth is that he shouldn’t dare focus on healing his public image until he’s repaired the damage he’s done to his family. They’re already polling? Wake up Alicia, and slap some sense into Peter, because no one else is going to tell him that what he’s doing is demeaning and disrespectful to you.

Once again this week I really enjoyed seeing Will as a lawyer. I think he was great throughout the entire emergency hearing, and in dealing with the gratingly irritating Patti Nyholm (Martha Plimpton) — could she have used her baby as a prop any more? But my skin crawled when he and Alicia kissed. First of all, up until the moment that they actually physically connected, there was nothing there. I know that a lot of you disagree with me, and that’s fine, but I don’t see any chemistry between them. She put her hand on his shoulder … that’s it! This entire relationship drama is completely synthetic, and it did not shine a very good light on Alicia.

But that was nothing compared to her and Peter. As gross as what she did was, taking out her sexual needs on him, and as stupid as it was because it gives him the impression that they’re working through their problems, there’s also the fact that seeing the two of them lying there together was so completely gross, I can’t even discuss it. They’re just really not pretty together. Yuck.

I didn’t expect Will to be someone who’d continue using Peter as an asset after everything he did, both while in office and also to Alicia personally. That really disappointed me. But was anyone else so completely turned off by the way Peter and Will had like a parent/teacher conference about how Alicia was doing at work? It so minimizes her, so demeans her, and she doesn’t say anything!

Alicia lets a surprising number of things go, and that, combined with what Peter’s doing, makes me worried that this show is going to go in a direction that we might not like to see. Namely, Peter reassuming the driver’s seat in their marriage, their life, and by default the series. This show is great when Alicia is in charge. I mean, I enjoy Kalinda and Will, and Cary in small doses. And the kids can be good here and there as well.

But The Good Wife is about how Alicia Florrick persevered after her husband left her life in shambles. Not how she decided to continue working even after he’s re-elected. This is not that show. And I hope I’m wrong about what I’m seeing.

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Last night concluded an odd bit of plotting on NCIS, don’t you think? First Ducky switched to ties to please his lady friend. Then he went back to bow ties after breaking up with her. All in the span of a week. I know it’s minor, but then why bother with it at all? I’m wondering if there might be some greater significance here, like teaching us to keep an eye on Ducky’s neckwear in the future for a window to his moods. Maybe that was all just scaffolding for some future construct.

If that’s the case, I’d actually take Ducky singing over any other hints that his mood is jolly. Wasn’t that great when he sang as he and Palmer walked across the beach to what they thought at the time was a dead Navy diver? Who, by the way, looked a lot more like a shriveled doll than anything else. At least from the angle we saw him from when the Marine stumbled upon him. Unless he was familiar with the wetsuit, I don’t know how in the world he spotted that.

What did everybody think of CGIS Special Agent Abigail Borin? Diane Neal, who played Borin, actually just did a guest spot on White Collar as an FBI agent. However, she’s best known as ADA Casey Novak on Law & Order: SVU. And I think she’s much better on the legal side of things. She was not great on White Collar, and she was really not great last night on NCIS.

Which might, by the way, be because I didn’t see anything of Gibbs in her mannerisms. And maybe we weren’t meant to, but the fact that everyone else involved was seeing it, and talking about it, made it impossible not to think about the idea that Borin was a female Gibbs. Which she absolutely wasn’t. So she slapped her subordinate on the back of the head. So what? That was the writers and the director telling Neal how to imitate Gibbs, not Neal channeling Gibbs. I didn’t see it at all.

And not only did I not see it, but I thought she was a terrible investigator, a terrible interrogator, and a terrible character. Some of you might hope she returns for a variety of reasons — CGIS versus NCIS, Gibbs versus Borin, or Gibbs and Borin romantically linked — but I for one hope we never see her again.

For those of you who watch Criminal Minds, I want to mention something that my wife said to me as we were watching a scene between Gibbs and Tony on NCIS last night. The friendly, playful banter that they toss back and forth … that’s what Criminal Minds is missing these days. And I don’t know where it went, because it’s not like they increased the amount of time that the BAU spends just focusing on cases. But the banter that makes the NCIS team so great is currently missing on Criminal Minds. Just glance over at Tuesday nights for some pointers, writers!

But back to the show at hand. I have to admit something to you all … I had no idea that Richard Dreyfuss was in Jaws. No way! Does he play a major role? I’ve never seen the movie, and never had any desire to, but this news might change that. Thanks Tony!

Oh, and did anyone find Abby as a frustrated mess endearing? If so, please tell me how and why, because I just found her annoying. It always surprises me that Gibbs has so much (relative) patience for her. I guess he has a soft spot for Goth?

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We’ve got a lot of debate going on regarding who the mysterious Mr. Yin may be, so I wanted to give a poll a try, to see where people are leaning. Let me briefly highlight the poll choices:

Shawn’s mother — Although the voice on the phone was clearly male, and the image above certainly appears male, quite a few people still stick to this theory. Was she really holed up in a hotel somewhere? Why does the Yin/Yang thing happen when she is around?

Shawn’s Uncle Jack — we saw the bad-influencing Uncle Jack only once, played by Steven Webber in season three. Is he a worse influence than we thought?

Gus’s father — OK this one is just mine, from my first post on the episode. Adding it here to make me feel worse when nobody votes for it.

Shawn’s evil twin — Read up on my original post for how this possibly fits in as who Mr. Yin is.

Simon ‘The Mentalist‘ Baker — I’m adding this one because I love this idea so much that I hope the people involved with both shows can pull it off.

The coroner — Played a few times by Kurt Fuller, who’s a a recognizable face and can pull off evilness without a problem. But what’s his motive?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

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Turning back to the dramatic, this week we take a look at Infamous and Central Division. I chose to pair them together for two reasons. First, both of them have just four episodes available at the moment. And second, they illustrate a great point in the different ways to pull a viewer into a show.

Starting with Infamous, we’re dropped into a world where we find regular people dealing with all the good, and bad, that comes with having superpowers. It’s a great jumping off point. If you could read minds, would you use it for good, or evil? Talk to electronics? Regenerate?

These things are all hinted at as the story begins with John (Greg Washington) being saved by Solomon (John Chambers), from what looks an awful lot like certain death. It’s not all puppies and rainbows though. Solomon, clearly, didn’t go with good for his mind reading ability. He chose instead to go to work for someone known only as “The Patriarch.”

And that’s where we get into what it is that pulls you into a show. After one episode, you really don’t have a clue just what is going on. In fact, the only reason I know that Solomon works for “The Patriarch” is because I read the credits. We’re literally dropped into the middle of the story and left to figure it out as we go along, with only the minimum of exposition. That’s not a bad thing. In fact, in this case, I think it both fits the show, and makes you curious to see where this is all going.

It fits with the show because the Infamous team has been very clever about getting the most out of their webseries budget. Despite the fact that all four of the characters we meet in the opening run of episodes have special abilities, we don’t actually see much of it with our eyes. John regenerates, under bandages. We fill in the blanks as we watch Palmer’s (James Palmer) reaction. Solomon’s mind reading is mostly accomplished with sound effects and our imaginations. It’s taking the old horror adage of the things you can’t see being scarier, and transferring it to the hero realm.

It all works very well and makes me very curious to see what is to come. Right now, four episodes are available at Koldcast. There are twelve planned in this first season. You can also learn more from the official Infamous website. Here’s chapter one.

On the other side of the coin, we have Central Division, and an excellent use of exposition to kick things off. The show manages to set the stage in a beautifully simple way with one short conversation in a parking garage. In just two and a half minutes we learn of a meth bust gone bad, the Internal Affairs investigation that followed, pissed off Serbians that are out to get the cops, and see just how far they’re willing to go. It sounds like a lot, but it really is well done. Have a look.

That opening pulls you right in, and then things just get… twisted, for lack of a better word. The plot of Central Division just keeps turning back in on itself, to the point that you soon stop trusting anything you know. To say more would spoil the surprises. Brian Silverman and Clay Wilcox, as detectives Edwards and Hodge, are outstanding. The four episodes available at the Central Division website make up the whole of season one. And I’m very much looking forward to season two.

Finally, the lovely and talented Brittney Powell, from Safety Geeks SVI, sent me a great link on twitter the other day. It seems our favorite safety expert has been chosen ‘Babe of the Week’ at Freakshow Planet. That means two things. One, yay for Brittney and Safety Geeks, because they are both awesome. And two, a fantastic pictorial that is sure to brighten your day.

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With The Rolling Stones being showcased in this edition of American Idol, what could possibly go wrong?  Not much, really.  But the contestants continual dumbing down of Stones’ tunes made for mostly loungey schmooze.    There were no “ya-yas” in evidence this evening, let me tell you.

Michael Lynche:  “Miss You”  What the hell was that, Michael?  Schmoozy, jazzy, smarmy gooey-ness.  Ugh.  It worked well for you last week, but this week it just didn’t come across.  Frantic, dude.  (Kara:  Shut it.)

Didi Benami:  “Play With Fire”  Didi’s signature lilt came through on this Stones tune, slow though it was.  It was adequate — that’s it.

Casey James:  “It’s All Over Now”  Choppy fuzzy guitar suited the performance.  Casey, as usual, has nothing to worry about.   (And who knew Casey’s mother was MacKenzie Phillips, Valerie Bertinelli’s sister on the old ’70s/’80s show “One Day At A Time”?)

Lacey Brown:  “Ruby Tuesday”  Lacey was coming along just fine, albeit a bit haltingly.  Then came that bridge.  Everybody waver!  Randy was right — interesting selection and performance.  (“I kinda like the drama …”  Oh, Kara.  Just shut up.)

Andrew Garcia:  “Gimme Shelter”  All of a sudden, Andrew has become completely one-dimensional.  I used to like him … but that was years ago during the audition rounds.  And that time came and went.  (Andrew:  Wouldn’t surprise me a bit if you were headed home during elimination.)

Wait, wait, wait!  It’s a Ryan Seacrest Moment:  “After this, another Stones hit coming to you from Katie Stevens.”  Really?  Are you sure?  Because I was so hoping we could break out into some Celine Dion, Ryan.

Katie Stevens:  “Wild Horses”  Forgettable … despite the fact the judges saw otherwise. I found it bland as paste.

Tim Urban:  “Under My Thumb”  White boy can’t do reggae.  No rasta, mon.

Siobhan Magnus:    “Paint It Black”  You know, Siobhan: WowZah.  This was a spiffy performance (see video below) and, in my book, you got my vote as female contestant of the week.    (“I’m having flashbacks of Adam Lambert.”  Kara?  Shut up.)

Lee DeWyze:  “Beast Of Burden”  Yep.  It felt like I was in back of this beast pushing it up a hill with it refusing to yield.  What a burden.

Paige Miles:  “Honky Tonk Woman”   Ugh.  Nothing good to say here.  (“The young Paige is back.”  Kara?  Shut it.)

Aaron Kelly:  “Angie”  Again, another WowZah performance.  The kid do’d goodly.  When I heard Stones tunes were in the mix for this episode, I wondered what could Aaron possibly pick that would suit him?  Turns out “Angie” was the ticket that fit him to a “T”.  I saw growth in that performance.  Where did that come from?

Crystal Bowersox:  “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”  Can this girl do anything wrong with a song?  It oozes out of her, makes its way right into the microphone and comes out with so much character there’s nothing to improve.  A performance is coming where she stumbles and falls … but we won’t know that until it hits us full in the face when we least expect it.

Overall — with the exception of a very few performances — everyone was bland and colorless.  Even the judges (with the exception of bubbly Randy Jackson) didn’t seem completely into the contestants.  There will be those days.

I’m going out on a limb and predict Andrew Garcia takes a hike during elimination.  His time is done.  If he remains, it will be the same old same old from the guy.

And no one wants to see that.

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Well, for the first time this season, I can say that I was genuinely disappointed with an episode of Lost. With such a phenomenal outing last week, and really a stellar season up until now, I suppose it was inevitable. Unfortunately for Lost, and for us, I think the we saw the peak and genius of the flashsideways last week. This week was certainly a fine example of the storytelling technique, but had nowhere near the depth that Ben’s flash did. In Sawyer’s flash, we saw that his life took a decidedly different turn, with the conman instead becoming a police officer.

It seemed like there was a whole lot of set up, but not a lot of anything else in this episode. Even the flashsideways seemed to be setting up more flashsideways stories. It was hardly a complete journey and seemed only to introduce Sawyer’s life and predicament and have him, quite literally, bump into Kate. There were some nice nods, as we have become accustomed to. Sawyer had a date with Charlotte, Charlie’s brother was looking for him at the police station, and Sawyer’s partner was Miles. I smell a spin off! Who wouldn’t watch a buddy cop show with Sawyer and Miles? Seriously, that would be pretty awesome.

Back on the island the action was hardly more compelling. Locke sent Sawyer on a “recon” mission to find out the situation on Hydra Island. Turns out old friend Widmore docked his sub there. Again, I’m glad to have Charles back in the picture, as there is obviously a lot of resolution to his story that needs to be revealed.

I guess, at the end of the day, I’m just not a fan of Sawyer’s behavior this season. I understand that much of it comes from grief (and I’m pretending that during his longing snuggle with Kate’s old Hydra dress he was really thinking about Juliet, or else it would certainly cheapen that whole relationship). His actions right now just seem incredibly selfish. Even if his big plan, which isn’t that big of a plan, works, he’s going to end up stranding or harming the rest of the people on the island, including some of his friends. This is hardly the redemption that I was hoping to see from the character. I am hoping that this was all just set up to make his moment of heroism all the more meaningful, but for now, I’m annoyed. In my book, this was a step backward for Sawyer’s character arc. Plus, I’m really sick of hearing him say he’s not “with Locke.” All I’ve seen from him this season is blind obedience to the Smokey John Locke. Just because he has some ulterior motive to “sneak away when no one is looking,” it doesn’t really mean he’s not on his side.

At least we have some things to look forward to. Namely next week’s episode, which is the long awaited tale of Richard Alpert’s past. I’m hopefully, and fairly certain, that it is going to have some juicy information in it for us.

There are a few things that I’m going to be stewing on for the rest of the week, and will most likely discuss them in next Monday’s column: Kate’s conversation with Smokey regarding his crazy mother (it seemed to me to not be in regards to Locke’s crazy mother, but Smokey’s), and what might be in the locked room in the sub. There are so many possibilities.

What did you think of tonight’s episode? Was I way off base with my assessment?

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I love Damages, but I think this was the first time that I was actually giddy during the “previously on” segment. When it began with a clip of Patty and Frobisher, I knew that it meant Ted Danson was going to be making a guest appearance.

I loved the character of Frobisher during the first season and was a little disappointed with how the character was used during the second season. He has been completely absent from the third season to date, and after watching this episode I’m slightly intrigued by where his story may be going. The only complaint that I have is that it seems completely ancillary at this point. Is the story going to go anywhere? Is it going to have any bearing on the main characters in this show? Even if it really is just a diversion, it promises to be an amusing one, especially if we get to see an actress trying to play Patty.

There were also some nice character moments in this episode. I don’t know about you, but I just can’t get enough of Patty dressing down people. I loved her taking Jill to task, offering to pay her off to leave her son alone. This whole plot is a bit cliche, though. How many times have we seen someone try to get rid of an unwanted child-in-law with money or favors. Heck, the same exact thing happened on Nip/Tuck only weeks ago.

There was a lot more going on in this episode other than Frobisher and Patty’s attitude. In fact, it seems like things really started to kick into gear. We saw a lot more of the future in this episode. It looks like maybe Tom and Ellen are not going to having an affair, in the sexual sense, anyway. If Ellen is not lying to the police, she and Tom are going to plan on opening a law firm together. It makes me even more sad about Tom’s death, as that scenario would have been fun for a hypothetical fourth season.

Jumps in time also showed us how deep Lenny is into all of the Tobin issues. It was revealed that Winstone was the person who was throwing away Tobin evidence on Thanksgiving night. I can’t imagine that that is going to turn out well for him, along with his prints (or Lester Wiggins’s prints) on Ellen’s bloody handbag. We also saw that Lenny and Tom had a secret meeting before Tom’s death, with Lenny handing a large bag of money to the future corpse. My guess is that he’s protecting Carol. After all, we saw in the present day in this episode that Ellen and Tom were tracking down Carol without Patty knowing much about it. They could easily flip that information without telling Patty, using it to get some of that dirty Tobin money to start up a law firm. Of course, this is Damages, and there’s still time for three or four more twists.

As always, I’m eagerly awaiting them!

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Army Wives season 3 … a tough one for us viewers, right? It was definitely not kind to us. And I certainly had no expectations that it would be any less uneven on DVD. Nor is there any reason to recap it here. You can reference back to my coverage of season three for a refresher.

Because I’d rather spend my time covering the extras that the Army Wives season 3 DVD set has in store for us. And I was really looking forward to them, too. The season 2 DVD set had some great episode commentary, and I was so excited to hear some more.

Unfortunately, there’s none of that to be found in an 18 episode season. Crazy right? Don’t even get me started. Here’s what it had instead.

Stationed in the South – Army Wives is shot on location in Charleston, South Carolina, which means the cast and crew spend a lot of time there every year. To give us a taste of their experiences, cast members were asked to share something that they each enjoyed doing in their down time. Here are some highlights:

• Catherine Bell (Denise) calls Terry Serpico (Frank) “Hubby 2.” “Hubby 1,” her actual husband, comes to South Carolina too when the show is on location.
• Sterling K. Brown (Roland) is known as “Hollywood” locally.
• Brigid Brannagh (Pamela) and Brian McNamara (Michael) are referred to as an off-screen married couple. I totally did not expect that. And apparently they have a penchant for rickshaws.
• Sally Pressman’s (Roxy) a health nut.
• Drew Fuller (Trevor) spends his time working with kids who have cancer.
• Wendy Davis (Joan) helps struggling local actors.
• Kim Delaney (Claudia Joy) and Katelyn Pippy (Emmalin #2) are buddies. Surprising considering their onscreen drama.
• Neither Richard Bryant (Jeremy) nor Jeremy Davidson (Chase) made an appearance. Are they outside the inner circle?

Army Wives Gives Back – Same deal as on last season’s DVD set. The show and its sponsors give back to real army wives. I complained last time that Wendy Davis was used instead of Sterling Brown. Well, this time Sterling made an appearance as well (Wendy did the other two segments), but my issue with army husbands not being included was not rectified. Like I said before, if Roland is meant to show us that men can be “army wives” too, why doesn’t this segment acknowledge that? Anyway, a nice segment with three surprises, one for a female soldier, and two for army wives — paying for the soldier’s books for her continuing education, and family trips for the army wives. Actually the last wife got the nicest gift of all; her husband, stationed in Afghanistan for two years, made a recorded story book of him reading a Christmas story for their kids. Try keeping it together through that.

Webisodes – These were on the show’s site during the season, and I reviewed them already. The only change? They’re listed out of order, so if you watch them by pressing “Play All,” you’ll be lost.

Deleted Scenes – Fifteen in all, with an option to watch them while listening to commentary from an executive producer. Nothing special, but it’s always nice to see more of a show you enjoy. But I can certainly understand why they were deemed superfluous. One nice scene shows the wives presenting Claudia Joy with star earrings before Michael’s promotion ceremony. As they said, she was getting promoted too.

Bloopers – I love a good bloopers real. This one is enjoyable thanks to Brian McNamara, who apparently is quite the clown. It’s under ten minutes, but it feels right lengthwise. And the kids even get in on the fun. The best part, and the longest sequence, is a simple line that Michael delivered when Denise was leaving after visiting Claudia Joy in the hospital (post car crash). All he had to say was “I can get some more coffee.” Could it be any easier than that?

It’s tough to say whether this set is crucial for your library. Army Wives season three was not always pretty. And yet the show is still great. I’d say this: if you want to take it all in before season four premieres (April 11th), it’s probably worth a buy, considering that there’s a good hour worth of extras, in addition to 18 episodes of a good show. But just because? Tough call to make.

Disclosure: This review is based on a commercially available copy, provided complimentary to CliqueClack TV by Lifetime for the  purpose of review.

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• Lots of Army questions on Army Wives
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Just in time for the return of the series this Sunday, season two of Breaking Bad hits store shelves today. However… you may wish to hold off on purchasing that one until you see if you won your very own copy from CliqueClack. You did enter the big drawing, right?

Other fun sets to tempt you this week come from Hawaii Five-0, Monk, South Park, SpongeBob, and Mystery Science Theatre. But I am again heading across the pond for my pick of the week, Wish Me Luck. WWII drama with civilians working undercover behind enemy lines in Nazi-occupied France. What’s not to like? Here are the rest of the releases for the week.

• Wish Me Luck: Series 1
• Breaking Bad:  The Complete 2nd Season (Blu-ray)
• Hawaii Five-O: The 8th Season
• Monk: Season 8
• South Park: The Complete 13th Season (Blu-ray)
• Mystery Science Theater 3000: XVII
• Clash Of The Gods: Complete Season 1
• Destination Truth: Season 1
• Mr. Bean: Mr. Bean’s Most Memorable Moments
• My Uncle Silas: Complete Collection
• Ruth Rendell Mysteries: Collection
• SpongeBob SquarePants: Spongebob’s Last Stand
• Armchair Thriller: Set 2

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Where does someone like Greek’s Cappie come from? An excellent question if I do say so myself. And not just because we finally got to meet his parents last night … okay, that might have a little to do with my timing.

But it is still a good question. For a good guy, a caring friend, and a loving boyfriend, Cappie can be surprisingly mean and un-evolved. And for the president of a hard-partying fraternity, he can be unsuspectingly insightful, thoughtful, and, well, caring. So where does a guy like that come from?

We knew “hippies.” But did we know specifically who April (Lea Thompson) and Tobias (Jim Abele) would turn out to be? I know I wasn’t prepared for April’s pan flute rendition of “Let’s Get Physical” while Cappie and Casey were alone in the tent, no matter how open-minded they might be. He is still their son, after all.

And what I expected even less was the key to who Cappie is. He’s a drifter who’s finally been allowed to settle somewhere in life. Kappa Tau is the first home he’s known, his brothers and Casey the first stable family he’s ever had the opportunity to settle in with. And Casey walked away from her talk with April with the impression that she and Cappie were a “short story” about to conclude? I was frustrated at how she pushed Cappie, but she didn’t hear anything that April said to her. All she heard, which she then applied to her relationship with Cappie, was that they had an expiration date. I’m so upset with her for that, for totally missing who Cappie is and what he needs from her … maybe she doesn’t even deserve him.

The other Cartwright, meanwhile, was busy getting his swerve on. Can you believe that Rusty sought default dating advice from Beaver and Heath? That entire scene was hilarious. And that he then repeated it to Ashleigh like gospel? What a sweet, dumb kid.

Who made a terrible choice, by the way. I don’t like Katherine, but I think she is the way she is because she’s never really experienced anything beyond the need to excel in life. Socially she’s Rusty as an incoming freshman. But beyond that, she’s a much better match for Rusty than the annoying Dana. Unless, of course, Dana only acted how she did because she liked Rusty but he didn’t like her back, creating an awkwardness between them that would disappear if they dated. That we’ve yet to discover.

The writers of Greek really need to reconsider whether it makes sense for the kids on the show to be so familiar with John Hughes references. I know they have a great respect for him, and apparently Dobblers is an homage to Say Anything, but would these current college kids know who he was or watch his movies? I’m not so sure.

Some other stuff worth mentioning:

• Pledge checkers looks awesome. I’ve only ever seen chess played by humans — I loved Beaver studying the rules — and I thought it looked like so much fun. For everyone other than the pieces, of course.
• Dale meeting Evan for the first time. I suppose it never occurred to me that they’d never met. And I certainly didn’t realize just how many things Dale had to hate Evan for. “You’ll get one of my deep-fried snacks when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands.”
• Are Daley and Laura an item? Their messy table exchange seemed a bit heavy on double entendre and winks.
• If they didn’t have a history together, it would have been stolen straight out of a movie. But the fact that there’s history there meant that Evan punching Rusty was awesome. Will that start the ball rolling on what’s sure to be some epic payback by the KTs? I can’t wait to find out.

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• Greek – What’s amazing is that the KTs had the foresight not to use real arrows

“I get that it’s chilly out here, hot stuff, but setting your feet and hair ablaze isn’t exactly what I had in mind for getting cozy.”

I really liked last week’s episode featuring Ben Linus, and with “I want the hell off this island pronto” Sawyer coming to the forefront this week, I have high hopes we’ll see another good one tonight. Join us here at 9 PM EST for all the polls, chat and other hubbub surrounding tonight’s episode of Lost. See you then!

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Apparently there was a direction that the writers of Rules of Engagement had available to them as far as Timmy was concerned that I hadn’t considered. And wouldn’t you know it, but that was the one they chose — integrate him into the group … possibly as a replacement for Adam instead of Russell?

We’ll get to the speculative part of that sentence in a minute. But I did not see Timmy being assimilated into the boys club on this show. Because, really, how many put-upon and abused assistants does that happen to? In fact, when Timmy got excited about the trip to Atlantic City, I was a little surprised not to hear Russell make some joke about how he was most definitely not invited. Can the writers really include him with the rest of the boys while still maintaining the abusive relationship that he and Russell have?

And as for my speculation that Timmy is actually replacing the slowly disappearing Adam? Well, that’s just basic arithmetic. It made some story sense for Timmy to become an extension of Russell, what with Timmy running all of Russell’s incredibly awkward personal errands. But if Timmy becomes a hangout buddy, and Adam continues to be as non-existent as he’s been this season … well, what else is a viewer to think?

Which would leave the show’s success contingent on three things: Audrey and Jeff’s chemistry, Russell and Jeff’s banter, and Timmy. The first two are as strong as ever, and while Timmy’s still a bit of an unknown, he has the potential to open up a great dimension on the show. But no Jeff and Adam? No Russell and Adam? That’s 50% of what makes this show so funny. Jennifer, on the other hand, can be eaten by bears.

All of that being said, last night’s episode wasn’t actually all that good. What it had going for it was that the “they don’t know we know they know” was between Audrey and Jeff, a great combo team. But the execution could have been a whole lot better.

And Russell could stand to be a whole lot better in general this season. Last night was him at his best since the premiere, but most times it feels as if David Spade is just phoning it in, which he hadn’t been doing for the past three seasons. He’s a funny guy, and when he’s putting in some effort, it shows.

Although I did laugh at his Foghorn Leghorn. You have to wonder where those ideas come from. The writers decide Russell’s going to pretend to be a doctor. Then somehow he, or they, decide he’ll do so impersonating a cartoon chicken. Or Spade does a good Leghorn, and the writers figured out a way for him to show off his impersonation while playing a doctor. Either way, the creative process involved seems rather interesting, no? What would be cool is if Spade’s attempt at whatever voice he wanted to do just came out as Leghorn, and he improvised the catchphrases and nuances as he went, from some buried childhood memories. I wonder.

And while I haven’t checked it out myself, it looks as if CBS is picking up on the slew of successful How I Met Your Mother fake websites. Go see what Timmy has up his sleeve at Timmystrikesback.com.

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Ever since the final season of Lost has started, I have been eagerly counting down the next big milestone on my TV calendar: the premiere of the third season of Breaking Bad. Keith mentioned the season three premiere in our DVD giveaway, but I figured the show deserved some more attention than that. The program still somehow flies under the radar and is a bit overshadowed by its AMC big brother, Mad Men. For my money, though, Breaking Bad is one of the best shows on television, and maybe, just maybe — if you catch me at the right time of day — I would call it definitively the best show on television. With so many great shows on TV these days now, it’s hard to speak in such absolutes.

It amazes me how many people have never heard of the show when I bring it up in casual conversation. Then I remember how much TV I watch, and that I write for a TV blog, and it all makes a little more sense. All joking aside, though, this is a show that has gotten the attention of some of the big awards, with Bryan Cranston being rewarded with two Emmys for his amazing performance as Walter White, high school chemistry teacher turned novice drug lord. Cranston pretty much carries the show and is worth the price of admission by himself, but there is so much more here.

If you’re not familiar with the show, it follows the life of the aforementioned White. When Walt is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, he decides that he needs to leave his pregnant wife and teenage son (who has cerebral palsy) something more than a slew of hospital bills and a government pension. He takes matters into his own hands, using his background in chemistry to make a few quick bucks. So, he hooks up with a former student and current drug dealer and together they mix up some seriously righteous crystal meth. Hilarity ensues.

That is part of the beauty of the show, however. There is certainly a lot of heavy drama, with Walter’s illness and home life, hiding his secret life from his family, and dealing with the dangerous world of drug trafficking. The show also offers a tremendous amount of dark humor. It often works as a perfect balance with the heavier material, giving a more realistic balance to the show and avoiding the trap of melodrama.

The show has taken many interesting turns since its first episodes, and each one has been skillfully done. It’s hard to believe that only twenty episodes have aired to date (which means that you won’t have any trouble catching up). The show has stayed interesting and always manages to keep the tension high. Whether Walt and his partner Jesse are dealing with crazy drug lords, running from authorities (Walt’s brother-in-law is a DEA agent), or keeping witnesses chained in the basement, the danger level is always high, making for an entertaining show.

The plots are always interesting, but the real depth to the show lies in the characters. Walter in particular is such a multi-layered and complicated man. He’s someone who has been dealt a shitty hand consistently through life and he’s taking matters into his own hands to change his situation. Who hasn’t felt like that at one time or another? Walter, and the rest of the characters are definitely fully realized, three dimensional people, which makes the show so intriguing to watch. Even the strung out Jesse has more than one layer.

If you’ve never seen the show, I recommend checking out some of the old episodes on DVD, and if you are a fan already: how psyched are you for the new season?

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Woohoo! 24 kicked it up a notch with this episode, making up for the past couple of slow hours. This episode had it all — kidnapping, shootouts, double-crossings, secret files, bombs, and suspicious glances flying across the aisles at CTU.

Although I don’t like Kayla, I finally got sucked into the kidnapping story, especially when Tarin seemingly succumbed to his feelings for her and tried to help her escape. When they made that mad dash for the exit, I was like, “WHAT?” After confirming last week that Tarin was a total scumbag, were we really now going to find out that he’s a big softie? I’ll admit — I totally fell for it. Well done, 24 writers. You got me (for once). I believed for one brief shining moment that love had conquered all.

Then Arlo’s drones finally worked for once, and we saw Tarin alive and well, looking like he had just double-crossed someone and was a little bit sorry about it but also a little bit proud of himself for pulling it off so well. You bad man.

I loved how chaotic the ending was. The EMP knocked out everything at CTU, and while this certainly must be very bad for the city of New York, it’s probably a good thing for Dana Walsh. I don’t think she turned herself in yet, and now maybe she’ll be able to put off Mr. Prady, Kevin’s (utterly obnoxious) probation officer. What’s up with that guy anyway? Maybe Prady is just an honest person … or maybe he’s up to no good. Regardless, I can’t stand him. I want to poke his eyes out.

One other thing worth mentioning — File 33. President Hassan probably has plenty more secrets where that came from. I think it’s interesting that Hassan had this devastating information in his possession and could have used it against the U.S. It shows that he chose peace even though he could have chosen to be like Samir and Tarin. It also shows that he’s hiding some extra cards up his sleeve. President Taylor, I’m sure, will have something to say about this. Fortunately, Madame Boring was not a part of this episode. Perhaps she’ll resurface next week. I actually prefer watching the interesting dynamic between Hassan and his wife.

What did you think of the episode? Leave a comment, and share your thoughts.

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“Her subconscious is trying to tell her something. We have to eavesdrop.” – House, regarding the patient’s hallucination
“She was screaming she was being sucked into a black hole, so we should look for a tumor in her anus.” – Taub

This was an interesting episode of House for me. I’m not sure what to think, and I’m not sure why I feel that way. I definitely enjoyed it, even though the case of the week makes me want to take a shower … ewww. We got some interesting House / Wilson dynamics, though with few hi-jinks. And Taub … what do you make of Taub? I think I’ve fallen down the black hole that is House this week….

Does furniture really make the man, or was this just another way of House yanking Wilson’s chain? I tend to agree with House — Wilson really doesn’t know who he is, but is choosing his own furniture really going to make that big of a statement? We got a great montage of Wilson furniture shopping and the professionally decorated room looks great. You know and I know that the very best part was the “Phantom of the Opera” organ that Wilson bought for House: “You’re going to have to buy your own cape.”

However, how does that purchase help Wilson define who he is? Are we to conclude that Wilson is simply a selfless soul who can’t indulge himself? If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Another question that we will perhaps never know the answer to.

Speaking of figuring out what makes people tick, why is Taub trying so hard on his marriage when I assume he is, in fact, screwing around with the cute blonde nurse, or thinking about it? When Chase (or was it Foreman?) told Taub that he wanted his wife happy but only if he was, it seemed to foreshadow that Taub was always going to be the self-serving guy. Asking his wife to marry him was romantic, but seeing as he only did it for the pat on the back he could give to himself, does it count?

I’m going to lump all of my questions into one theory now — the Black Hole theory. House often centers the theme of an episode around its title, and here we have the black hole that is Wilson finding himself, the black hole that is Taub’s marriage and the black hole of House trying to figure everyone else out.

I’ve got to touch upon the cognitive pattern recognition and say that it’s real and it’s cool. And the boyfriend’s dad is such a complete scumbag that I’m definitely going to scrub down now.

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One of my most anticipated shows is returning to AMC in less than a week! Yes, Breaking Bad is back, baby! Remember how things ended last season? Where are things going to go from there? If you don’t remember how last season went, you can either pick up last season on DVD starting tomorrow, or try your hand at entering our Breaking Bad season two DVD giveaway.

We’re giving away two Breaking Bad season two DVD sets, along with two Breaking Bad season three posters (pictured right — click to enlarge). We’ll give one DVD and one poster to two random commenters to this post.

Entries to this giveaway must be made by Monday, March 22nd at 5 PM ET. We’ll pick two winning comments completely at random and alert the winners in the coming weeks (make sure your spam filter allows @cliqueclack.com addressed email!) Only one entry per person and you must have a valid U.S.-based mailing address. Not following these guidelines voids your entry. Good luck!

(Also, be sure to enter our Boston Legal giveaway, ending 5 PM EST today!)

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Even at two hours long, I was really excited for last night’s season premiere of The Celebrity Apprentice. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t watch it anyway, but the addition of a bunch of quasi-celebrities a few seasons back revamped this show in a major way. Now the laughs come from who the contestants think they are just as much as what it is they’re doing from week to week.

As the show has done before, this year the games began with the men pitted against the women. That will change as the women get decimated — and they will, judging by this group — but for now it’s the battle of the sexes. And boy are these two teams different.

Team “Rock Solid,” led this week by Bret Michaels of the band Poison, was functional, agreeable, and cohesive. Meanwhile, team “Tenacity,” led by this week’s project manager Cyndi Lauper, was as dysfunctional, and full of chaos and in-fighting, as they could possibly get. To the point that, if it were scripted, I might have fast-forwarded through all of their scenes. The personalities on that team do not match, and while that usually makes for a lot of fun, here it was just one big mess.

One of the great things about the new Apprentice is that we get to “meet” people thus far unknown to us, who become part of our “celebrity” vocabulary (I will never stop inserting quotes around that word when discussing the contestants on this show). In years past that’s included Clint Black, Trace Adkins, Piers Morgan, Stephen Baldwin, and Jesse James for me. This year, I’m ready to add Curtis Stone.

When I wrote my preview of this season’s cast, I had no idea who he was. I still don’t, but he’s definitely the first person I’ve connected with. Him and Goldberg, who actually is a rather funny guy when he’s not scaring the crap out of you with those arms. And it was definitely Curtis’ task to lose last night.

Although I must say two things. One, running a diner in midtown Manhattan is not the same as running five star restaurants around the world, and the fact that Donald Trump never makes those distinctions is a bit odd (would he be successful running a Bed & Breakfast? Unlikely.). Two, this game has progressively become more and more about who has the best contacts. And last night I got the impression that everyone was calling in their “A” games. For the first task. I seriously hope I’m wrong, because no friend no matter how close is going to come to the rescue for 15 straight tasks. Year one saw a lot more creative effort put into the tasks. Year two less so. I just hope year three is a return to form, not a continuation of a downward progression.

Anyway, I was enjoying the episode tremendously until Mama Rivers showed up. I don’t want to get bogged down in her again this season, so I’ll just say that I hope that was the first and last that we’ll see of her.

The women got trounced, and I guess the reason is the old connections game again. Because even raising their prices wouldn’t have saved them … unless someone had thought to put in an express take-out line. That’s actually a market that both teams missed, and it would have solved the women’s space issue. Either way, they lost by $28,000, not counting the $10,000 they got because the men let Mama Rivers’ food get cold. That’s serious.

And I couldn’t believe how pathetic they all were in that boardroom. Not a single one of them has the fire to get through this competition. I was really surprised that everyone was so afraid to speak up. The fact that they lost, and that Cyndi couldn’t pick anyone to come back to the boardroom with her, should have proved her lack of leadership ability, and led her to be fired. I think Carol Leifer getting the boot was the first sign of Trump favoritism for the season. Lauper beats Leifer in publicity. But good for Carol for asking for a donation to her charity.

Overall, I’m looking forward to what’s to come. Some other fun stuff from last night:

• I will never be able to pronounce his name, nor spell it, so Rod Blagojevich will henceforth be some form of “Governor.” And the first nickname of the season is bestowed!
• Genius of Sharon Osbourne to do radio publicity, but how unfair is that if you compare it to what was available to contestants on the original Apprentice? As soon as she proved it was her, Sharon got on the air. So cool.
• Seeing the Govna (see above) as a waiter was funny, but his constant proclamations of innocence? “I didn’t do those things, by the way.” Are we going to get an entire season of that?
• Holly Robinson Peete is going to seriously butt heads with Sharon Osbourne. Count on it.
• I’m surprised by the salty language this season. Trump’s, not the contestants. Do certain contestants just get his testosterone flowing, or is something else in the air?
• I’ve never seen his show (a lot of these “celebrities” seem to be reality show hopping), but I was really surprised by Bret Michaels. I had a totally different picture of him, but he didn’t come across at all like I thought he would. In a good way.

One other thought I had. I hold no good feelings for the man, but how in the world is the Govna going to compete on this show? Unlike the athletes, models, actors, or whatever, who are competing or have competed, he was the Governor of Illinois. Forget about whether or not this is dignified of him … he’s walking in there with better executive credentials than the guy whose show this is. How’s he going to manage? I think that’ll be something to watch.

And how could I forget to mention — Don Don’s back! Yay!

“How old is Edith?” – Don Don to Cyndi, after she said that her friend Edith had a crush on Donald Trump

“You’re beautiful, many of you.” – Trump to the female “celebrities” in the boardroom

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As has been the pattern lately, the big awards shows continue to impress. At least, where the numbers are concerned. We’ll leave the discussion of the Oscar dancefest for another time. Looking at just the numbers, the show was a huge win for ABC. Or, the complete opposite of what the return of Scrubs meant for the network. Scrubs joined the big Wednesday comedy block and was quickly put on life support. Perhaps they’ll bump into the folks from Trauma while they recover. That one also took a jack-boot to the crotch in returning to the NBC fold. In happier news, if that really was the last episode we’ll ever see from Numb3rs, the show went out on top.

ABC - The Academy Awards (41.7m/13.3) were huge, and easily the number 1 show of the week. Unfortunately, they weren’t able to use that success to boost any of the other nights. Things were a little slow on Monday. The Bachelor special for Jason and Molly’s wedding (9.3m/2.8) did all right, but was well off the pace for where the regular series has been lately. Without the full Bachelor lead-in, Castle (9.11m/2.4) is back to its early season pace.

Lost (9.49m/4.2) seems to have found its number, and looks to dominate its hour in the demo for the remainder of the season. The Forgotten (4.85m/1.5), meanwhile, is just waiting to disappear. The big news on Wednesday was the addition of Scrubs (4.28m/1.5) to the comedy block. I’m tempted to say that those sub-Hank numbers put the final nail in the coffin, but you have to consider the According To Jim angle. Syndication money could make it worth foisting another crappy Scrubs season on viewers. The Middle (6.3m/2.3) and Cougar Town (6.1m/2.5) were also off the pace on Wednesday, but Modern Family (9.02m/3.8) has solidified itself as a genuine hit.

Thursday, Grey’s Anatomy (10.94m/3.9) still managed to win the hour in the demo, but the recent struggles are starting to look like a trend. Those struggles aren’t doing any favors for Private Practice (7.66m/2.8) either. Things wrapped up Friday with a double-shot of Supernanny (4.86m/1.4 – 4.17m/1.2) and 20/20 (5.58m/1.7).

CBS - The Amazing Race (8.11m/2.6) was the only show that dared face down the Oscars, and it took the expected hit. No worries there though. Things were much better on Monday with How I Met Your Mother (10.06m/3.9), Rules Of Engagement (10.07m/3.6), 2 ½ Men (17.61m/5.8), Big Bang Theory (16.32m/5.9), and CSI: Miami (11.93m/3.3). Notable is that Engagement is edging HIMYM in viewers. It doesn’t speak well for Accidentally On Purpose.

More good news on Tuesday with NCIS (19.58m/3.8), NCIS:LA (16.99m/3.5), and The Good Wife (13.95m/2.8). As we’ve seen in the past, Gibbs is nearly immune to Idol, and the LA team is holding up very well faced with Lost. Comedy remains a problem on Wednesday, with Old Christine (7.67m/2.2) and Gary Unmarried (6.68m/2.2). Criminal Minds (13.29m/3.4) hasn’t been hurt by that, but it looks like CSI:NY (11.07m/2.6) has suffered a hit from the return of SVU to 10PM.

Thursday was mostly as expected. Survivor (12.12m/3.6) was solid against Idol, and CSI (15.25m/3.3) is still popular, if not what it once was. The most interesting bit came from The Mentalist (16.02m/3.4), which again topped CSI in both measures. Finally, Ghost Whisperer (7.84m/1.9), Medium (8.15m/1.8), and Numb3rs (8.74m/1.8) all won their hours on Friday. If that was the series finale of Numb3rs, it went out as the most watched show of the night. And it was also a very well done series finale episode.

FOX - House (12.82m/4.8) kicked off the week, returning to the top spot at 8. 24 (8.86m/2.8) was up just a bit, but is starting to show where those final season rumors are grounded. American Idol took over with shows on Tuesday (22.75m/8.2), Wednesday (20.7m/7.5), and Thursday (19.34m/6.3). More interesting than those numbers was the results for a repeat Glee (7.55m/2.9) that followed. That bodes well for the show’s return. Human Target (7.83m/2.4) was able to win the 8PM hour on Wednesday, and Kitchen Nightmares (7.19m/3) was solid on Thursday.

NBC - The week started with another Chuck (6.37m/2.3) that looked just good enough to get the show renewed. It’s not a slam-dunk, but the show is looking like the best option among the network’s bubble shows. Trauma (4.76m/1.4), on the other hand, doesn’t look good at all. Those numbers are really bad, but you do have to wonder how pulling the show, possibly canceling it, and then bringing it back fed into it. Law & Order (5.21m/1.5) wasn’t  much better.

By comparison, things were much better on Tuesday. The Biggest Loser (7.91m/3) continues to slip versus Idol, but is still better than everything except The Office. Parenthood (6.09m/2.6) took a pretty sizable hit in week two, so the jury is still out on that one. On Wednesday, Mercy (6.31m/1.5) can say that it beat Scrubs. Unfortunately, neither of them can say that they beat Next Top Model in the demo. And if a CW show beats a big network show in the adult demo, that show should be done. There was better news from the L&O: SVU (8.53m/2.6) return to 10PM. That’s still off the pace of  what the show once did, but it tied CSI:NY for first in the demo.

With Thursday, I just keep asking, “They renewed all of this?” Community (4.6m/1.9) and Parks & Recreation (4.55m/2.1) continue to be a black hole anchoring the night. For some perspective on that, the 8PM numbers from 3/05/09 were My Name Is Earl (5.45m / 2.2) – Kath & Kim (4.09m/1.8). The Office (7.43m/3.8) is still solid. Second in the demo on Thursday at 9 is hard to argue with. 30 Rock (5.77m/2.9), on the other hand, continues to only (marginally) succeed when Michael Scott hands off a ready-made audience. Friday, Who Do You Think You Are (7.15m/1.8) continues to look like a solid bit of Friday programming. That was followed up with two entries from Dateline (7.8m/1.7 – 8.29m/1.8).

CW – Finally, after weeks and weeks, there was something resembling a schedule from the little network. Life Unexpected (1.94m/.9) moved to 8, to make way for the return of Gossip Girl (1.74m/1). Gossip Girl has a large lead where the young female audience is concerned, but it is notable that LUX topped it in viewers. Likewise, LUX also bested 90210 (1.7m/.8) and Melrose Place (1.16m/.5) in both measures. The big news though, was the return of Next Top Model (3.66m/1.6). That 1.6 was good enough for third place at 8PM. The week finished with the premiere of High Society (1.26m/.5), which looks to continue the CW tradition of squandering the valuable Top Model lead-in.

CABLE - USA wrapped up the goofy split seasons for White Collar (4.04m/1.4) and Psych (2.95m/1.1) this week. The other successful note from the world of cable came from E!’s Red Carpet Special (3.54m/1.4). Not only is that a good number for E!, the show should also serve as a huge source of embarrassment to ABC. Their pathetic red carpet train-wreck doesn’t begin to compare. Other cable numbers:

• Big Love (1.71m/.8)
• Secret Life Of The American Teenager (3.21m/1.1)
• Make It Or Break It (2.5m/.8)
• Greek (1.03m/.4)
• Damages (.92m/.2)
• Southland (2.06m/.7)
• Hannah Montana (6.32m/1.3)
• How To Make It In America (.48m/.3)
• Blue Mountain State (.8m/.4)
• Sarah Silverman Program (.58m/.3)
• Archer (1.08m/.6)
• American Pickers (4.55m/1.8)
• Pawn Stars (5.82m/2.5 – 5.41m/2.3)
• Ghost Hunters (2.21m/1)
• Project Runway (2.54m/1)

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