Allison and Joe were so cute in this episode that I nearly died. Going back to revisit their wedding was a brilliant idea. I’ve always been curious about their past, and while we’ve heard about it in snippets here and there before, it was nice to actually see them back then. The show did a really good job of taking us back to this time, while still keeping in step with the rest of the show. It didn’t feel overly cheesy or desperate as flashback episodes often do.

Before I get into the actual episode, I would be remiss if I didn’t make a comment about the hair and makeup. Between lighting, camera filters, hair and makeup, the people working on this episode did an amazing job of making Joe and Allison look 17 years younger. I’ve seen enough bad wigs on TV coughHeroescough to be able to spot them a mile away, but if I hadn’t known better, I would have thought that both Joe and Allison’s hair was the real deal.

There were a couple of points in this episode where Medium started to lose me, but then it brought me back in. The biggest was when Allison started having dreams but didn’t seem to know what they were. I had been under the impression, and I mentioned this in the live-blog, that this is something that Allison had been dealing with for years, and that she had started drinking heavily at a young age in order to make them stop. At first, it seemed as though the writers  had forgotten this, and I was about to get pretty annoyed with the show.

While I still think they may have fudged the timeline a bit for dramatic effect, Grandma Benoit came back to explain what Allison was dealing with. From what I gathered, Allison has had visions of dead people for most of her life, but her mother spent a lot of time and energy trying to convince Allison that she just had an active imagination. When she starts having dreams and waking visions about the missing girl, this is the first time she has ever had dreams that have given her information about a crime. At least that’s how I interpreted it.

I love Geoffrey Arend (aka “The Luckiest Man on Earth“) as an actor, so it was a pleasant surprise to see him on this episode playing the killer of the week. Between his awkward rehearsal dinner speech and murdering Ariel, he managed to be creepy all the way through. Speaking of which, as someone who has watched Medium for a long time, I wasn’t necessarily surprised to see Allison dreaming about one of her kids being in danger, but to have Ariel killed in a sex crime by someone who is family (by marriage) was undeniably disturbing. I appreciated that despite the fact this was an overall sweet episode, the writers didn’t pull there punches when it came to the crime.

The one thing that disappointed me about this episode was the resolution of the crime. Joe obviously doesn’t understand Allison’s dreams, and let’s face it: 17 years later he’s still having some problems. So why, after she canceled the wedding and made him think she’s a little crazy, did she not make a point of explaining exactly what happened? When she went to Joe’s room, she was vague and weird about everything, and if I were in that situation, the conversation would have been more like, “Look. I had another dream. It was your cousin, I saw where he dumped the body, I called the police, and they found her right where I said she was. By the way, your family is gross. Also? Suck it, dude. I was totally right.” I mean, I understand if Allison would have dialed it back a bit, but I would imagine she would want to get that basic point across.

So what did you think of the big Medium family reunion?

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“I work with top secret military robots.” – Pilomon
“That’s really hot.” – Zoe

I was actually glad to have the short recap at the start of this episode, since I wasn’t really aware that Zoe was using “Pilomon” as a way of getting the hell out of the lab. I’ve got some idea of why she wants out, though I’m not sure she has any idea how she’s going to get around without making people run around in a panic when they see her walking about.

Did you notice how Joseph Adama made the holobands appear very taboo when trying to get that kid to bring in to see Tamara in the V-World? Look again, and you’ll see he even gave a cocaine-like rub to his nose with a sniff. These things — the holobands — are very quickly becoming big contraband items of Caprica. How long before it’s near impossible to get a holoband without getting arrested?

I said before that I thought V-World could likely come into the forefront more, and here it took up at least half of the episode. One thing they never really get into regarding V-World is why everyone is just so damned angry there. This is a virtual world that’s all about killing, where if you “die” you’re never able to return — there’s no “respawning” in Caprica’s V-World. I’d say the same could be said about any of today’s violent, multiplayer games, but at least there you can keep playing. If things are so dangerous and violent there, then how is anyone able to “frak 50 girls and not need Vinagro?”

Did you notice the “.cap” top level domain for VMatch.cap? No? Alright, must be the altra-IT-geek in me that caught that and found it somewhat funny. The thing is, it’s these little details that relate to today’s world that make me more angry and disappointed with how Battlestar Galactica ended — that these people were supposedly responsible for the evolving of humankind as we know it. And, as it turns out, we instinctualy learned to use top-level domains from them.

As I said, things finally took a step forward when Daniel Graystone looked into the eye of Zoe the Cylon and seemed to have some hope that she was still in there. I’m not convinced at all that she’s ready to reveal herself to him yet, though I’m confident he’ll know before the season is out.

Overall I’m still moping along in this series. There’s little room for things to kick into action, and I’m not sure I want to just settle with that realization. If the series simply fat-forwarded into the Cylon war in season two, I’d be a happy camper. Are you getting sick of my nagging yet?

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Well so far, the Heroes have been consistent in one thing: they are a mess as a tribe. Last week’s elimination of one of the most brilliant social players of all time was a good move for the potential unity of the tribe. The question put to the test this week was if it would work.

The bottom line is that it almost doesn’t matter what alliances you’re on within your own tribe if you go into a merger with a massive disadvantage in the numbers. We have seen people exploit chinks in a larger tribe’s armor for their own benefit; Russell did it last season; but it’s a disadvantage that can be avoided.

Why set yourself up for that uphill battle post-merge by dismantling the strength of your own tribe?

I know Russell is all about sowing discontent within his own tribe, and last season he thrived by dismantling his own group, but he’s in a much different situation now, and for that he’s becoming a bigger target. It looks like Russell’s strategy works as long as people keep going home. The longer everyone sticks around, the more people start to notice him in all the wrong ways.

With only Randy having gone home for the Villians, everyone is seeing him for the snake he is, though poor Coach seems to think he has some honor.

In watching Russell’s tactics, there is no way he would have been able to make it even this far had anyone he’s currently playing with actually seen his season. I’m not sure he could ever be successful again after this season plays out; especially if he does well again (he slithered out from under the knife more than once in his own season).

On the Heroes side, I’m going to have to agree with Tom about James. James’s competitive drive is so strong that he turns into a monster when faced with losing, and he has virtually no tact when talking to people. Tom turned it on a little harsh at Tribal Council with his own assessment of James, but the vitriol wasn’t entirely unearned.

I do feel bad for James, though, getting injured for the second time of his three seasons. He wasn’t medically evacuted, but that could still change. He lucked into a challenge for Immunity where he didn’t have to move around (and I give him credit for doing way better on that than I expected), but that’s not going to last. He’s either going to let his team down or aggravate whatever the hell is wrong with his knee.

Voting out a healthy and still strong Tom over James is a tactical error that no longer surprises me about the Heroes. Collectively, they’re all muscle … including inside their skulls. Once again, the puzzle proved too much for them, and once again they chose boneheaded alliances over the strength of the tribe.

I get that James is a mountain of a man, and he’s an incredible force in challenges, but how do you think he’d do with that knee on that sumo challenge? Or even in the pit for this week’s reward challenge? I agree with Tom that this decision will come back to haunt the Heroes tribe and that they’ll lose James for his injury one way or the other: medical evacuation or finally voting him out.

Down six to nine, you’d think they’d be focused on keeping what’s left of their tribe strong. If they keep losing like this, the producers might not even bother to merge, just let the Heroes waste away until the final person left on the tribe is absorbed by the Villains, the way it went down in already-eliminated Hero Stephenie’s first time out.

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Allison and Joe are getting married (again)! It’s a big ol’ family reunion on tonight’s episode of Medium. We’re revisiting Allison and Joe’s wedding tonight. Bruce Gray and Kathy Baker are reprising their roles as Joe’s parents, and Ellen Greer is returning as Allison’s Grandma Benoit.

I’m super-excited about this episode, so in it’s honor, and in memory of Medium Dreams, we’re doing a live-blog/chat! Join us at 9 PM EST for the fun!

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I have an addiction and I need help. Yes, it’s to reality TV, but not just any ole kind; that would be silly. My addiction revolves around celebrity reality TV. No matter what a quasi-famous celebrity is doing in real life (while being filmed by a camera), I am THERE. I’ll watch Melissa Rivers grocery shop. I’d be there for Danny Bonaduce getting a car wash. And if Maureen McCormick was ever in a car chase … well, you get the drift.

So Celebrity Fit Club is right up my alley! It’s got everything: tears, fat, yelling, tantrums … and that’s just from Tanisha Thomas.

For those of you new to the game, the title “Celebrity Fit Club” should be relatively self explanatory. We get to follow along as eight not-quite-famous people take off the pounds they’ve packed on since their careers went down the toilet. That was mean. Did I say that out loud?

Anyway. This season’s celebrities include Nicole Eggert from Baywatch, KayCee Stroh from High School Musical, (old) rocker Sebastian Bach, Whitney Houston’s punching bag Bobby Brown, Jay McCarroll, Tanisha Thomas from Bad Girls Club, and Shar Jackson and Kevin Federline.

I saved those two for last on purpose. Forget the weight loss challenges and redonkulous physical torture that drill seargent Harvey puts everyone through — just set that aside for a moment. Grab a tub of buttered corn and sit back to watch Shar and Kevin. Remember these two have a past. Firstly, they have a couple rugrats together. And secondly, Kevin left Shar very publicly WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT for Britney Spears. Then he had a couple more rugrats with Britney. I know, classy guy, right?

Shar Jackson was mortified. Horrified. Embarrassed beyond belief. And now she’s letting Kevin Federline have it every week, without once mentioning his name. It’s great TV!

Watch as she tears into him, by talking to their assigned weight loss therapist, about “betrayal” and “liars.” Watch as she talks about her five year struggle with depression and weight gain, after being tabloid fodder for years. Watch as the camera keeps cutting to Keven Federline, hanging his head like the dog he is. My friends … THAT’S entertainment.

Oh, and it’s fun to see how much weight they lose every week too.

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In this week’s season finale episode of Psych, we saw Shawn Spencer up against the mysterious Mr. Yin, the counterpart to the already apprehended Ms. Yang from season three’s finale. In my post about the Mr. Yin episode, I asked the question of whether Mr. Yin could possibly turn out to be someone we’ve already met. Readers have come up with some really interesting theories, but the most compelling one to me answers my question in the most interesting way: we have met Mr. Yin … and we have not.

First, let me highlight a few details. Remember that last scene, when Mr. Yin looked longingly at a photo of Yang and what looked to be a young Shawn Spencer? One of the criticisms I (and others) had was in how Shawn somehow did not remember Yang at all from his childhood. How could that be, when he posed with her in a photo?

Let’s get this out of the way right now: Yin is clearly a man — that’s a man hand, baby. But what of Mr. Yang’s voice? To me it clearly sounded like Shawn’s father’s voice (Corbin Bernsen), though several commenters noted that it sounded an awful lot like James Roday. After going back and watching that scene a few times myself, I agree that it could definitely be James Roday’s voice, albeit somewhat disguised. Although Yin’s voice is familiar, obviously Mr. Yin is neither Shawn nor his father — their locations during key moments support that.

So, who is Mr. Yin, then? How have we seen him AND not? The answer that makes the most sense to me: Yin is Shawn’s forgotten twin brother.

Now, before you go scoffing at that, hear me out. Shawn having an evil twin fits the mood of this show perfectly. Although Yin is a proven killer, there are opportunities for some serious humor here. Shawn and Gus have been all about pop culture references, and throwing an evil twin into the mix would both frighten and thrill these guys. Imagine Yin posing as Shawn in later episodes or, better yet, Shawn trying to pose as Yin? Tons of possibilities. Plus, it gives Roday an outlet for doing something a bit different acting-wise.

The existence of a twin explains why “Shawn” appears in the photo with Yang and doesn’t remember her — it’s not Shawn. It also explains why he’s got it out for all of the Spencers, not just Shawn. One issue that will need addressing is how Shawn did not know he had a twin brother and why Henry kept that news from him. It could be excused that Shawn does know and he just never talked about it before, but that seems unlikely. However, that sure would piss off a long-forgotten twin brother, wouldn’t it?

So, what do you think? Are our commenters onto something here? I guess we’ll have to find out next season, unless I can get on the horn with James Roday and get him to spill a spoiler to us … but do you really want that spoiled now?



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In the nineteen primetime lineups that I’ve discussed thus far, and all the timeslots that came with them, I’ve yet to come across what amounts to a really tough choice. Sure I’ve had to pit shows against one another before, and at times I’ve cheated by going with two, but this is really the first time I’ve been faced with an overall tough night. And I plan to do this one cleanly, because the truth is that all I’m doing when choosing two shows for one hour is putting off the inevitable need for a decision.

8:00-8:30 Tales of the Gold Monkey worked better when it was animated and called TaleSpin, The Fall Guy thought combining movie stunt work and bounty hunting made sense, and Dinosaurs was admittedly cutesy, but not for me. Perfect Strangers is safe on my Fridays, Growing Pains is the right show on the wrong day and time, and Dharma & Greg was the right guy (Thomas Gibson) with the wrong girl (Jenna Elfman). Thea was Brandy Norwood’s first TV flop, Thunder Alley was one of Haley Joel Osment’s few missteps, and Ellen was one of Ellen DeGeneres’ many — sorry, but I really don’t enjoy her. Two Guys and a Girl didn’t improve with the pizza, My Wife and Kids should never have lasted as long as it did, even with a Wayans driving the bus, and George Lopez owes a tremendous debt of gratitude to Sandra Bullock. Seriously. Lost is not an 8PM show, Alias and I never connected, and Scrubs can make me laugh, but it doesn’t deserve any of these slots. I know a lot of you will go with Pushing Daisies, but it wasn’t for me. Neither were reality/game show giants Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Dancing with the Stars, and Wife Swap. And I think even Kelsey Grammer deeply regrets Hank. Which leaves me with two really funny shows: The Wonder Years and Spin City. Fred Savage or Michael J. Fox. Teenage angst or government inefficiency. It’s a tough call. I know I might be romanticizing something that could flounder under a modern light, but I have to give this one to The Wonder Years. I just do.

8:30-9:00 We dispatched with Growing Pains, The Wonder Years, Dharma & Greg, Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (now with the pizza!), and George Lopez above. And I think we can add According to Jim to the discard pile pretty easily. Doogie Howser, M.D. is a nightmare decision for another timeslot, Joe’s Life was a nightmare for its viewers, and The Drew Carey Show introduced us to the nightmare known as Mimi (Kathy Kinney). It’s All Relative was family dysfunction at its worst, Knights of Prosperity was about a group of dysfunctional amateur thieves, and Freddie starred two actors with career dysfunction, Freddie Prinze Jr. and Brian Austin Green. Better Off Ted, meanwhile, is just a mess for me. Which leaves me with a classic show versus a newcomer: Head of the Class or The Middle. Now here’s where the real romanticizing fear comes into play; is Head of the Class really anything more than one of the first shows I remember clearly? Was Howard Hesseman as good here as he was on WKRP in Cincinnati? I’m honestly not sure, but it’s hard to overlook the moment of bliss I’m currently enjoying. I have to give this one to The Middle.

9:00-9:30 We’ve already worked our way through The Fall Guy, The Wonder Years, The Drew Carey Show, Alias, and According To Jim, and I dropped Private Practice as a viewer last year. Plus we can brush away reality shows The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, and Supernanny. Also Lost, which is the right show in the right timeslot, but on the wrong night. Dynasty’s way before my time, Hooperman put John Ritter on the other side of a rental agreement, Anything but Love was a series-long will they/won’t they, and Grace Under Fire was one of those shows that never even made a blip on my radar. I definitely enjoyed Home Improvement for both its home and workplace comedy, but as a pick? And Roseanne only let me get to know John Goodman, who should have been the headliner on that show. The current head scratcher? Doogie Howser, M.D. or Modern Family. This one just took some visits to Hulu and a night of honest evaluation … as corny as it is, the fun and enjoyment that you remember experiencing when watching Doogie Howser, M.D. is still there today. Paging Neil Patrick Harris!

9:30-10:00 We’ve already covered Hooperman, Doogie Howser, M.D., Grace Under Fire, Ellen, and The Drew Carey Show. And Notes from the Underbelly is safe on my Mondays. The Slap Maxwell Story was about an out-of-touch sportswriter, Married People was one in a long line of uneventful couples comedies, and The Naked Truth was false advertising starring Téa Leoni. The Secret Lives of Men did nothing for Bradley Whitford, and Bob Patterson was yet another post-Seinfeld disappointment for Jason Alexander. In Case of Emergency was totally unoriginal, and Cougar Town is just as bad as I thought it would be. I know it’s not fair, but I did see this coming when I made my 8PM choice: Spin City gets a slot after all!

10:00-11:00 Surprisingly, it was the hour-long dramas where I found some breathing room. We covered Dynasty and Anything But Love above, Lost’s on the wrong day and time, and Boston Legal’s safe on my Sundays. Hotel was the granddaddy of the Melrose Place craze, China Beach failed to catch M*A*S*H’s lighting, Cop Rock was about singing cops, and Moon Over Miami was an odd-couple PI tale. Eyes starred a floundering Tim Daly, Invasion was a science fiction nightmare, and Eastwick was about witches. Yeah. Then there were the recent series that made a lot of noise before fizzling out mightily — Cashmere Mafia, Men in Trees, and Life on Mars. I liked The Nine, but not enough, and Dirty Sexy Money put up a good game in its first season, but it went completely haywire in its second. And of course there were the reality/game show darlings Extreme Makeover, Wife Swap, and Celebrity Mole: Yucatan. My choice here should surprise no one, as I’ve written time and again about how much I loved this show — I’ll take The Unusuals forever.

Now that’s a great night of TV! What did you think about some of my tough choices? How about you … what does your dream Wednesday night on ABC look like?

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The latest episode of Private Practice was called “Triangles,” and for pretty obvious reasons. Private Practice is swimming in love triangles.

Addison, Sam, and Naomi. Addison, Pete, and Violet. Cooper, Charlotte, and Sheldon. Naomi, Fife, and William. I think a scorecard might be in order.

The biggest triangles (as in multiple), of course, feature Addison Montgomery, who has gotten herself into quite a pickle, sleeping with Violet Turner’s former man/baby daddy, coveting Violet’s child, and foolishly admitting to having carnal feelings about Naomi Bennett’s former husband Sam. Not exactly making herself popular with the gals in the office, is she? I imagine there’ll be a heap o’ problems when Violet finally returns.

During “Triangles,” Addison wildly vacillated between her unrequited feelings for Sam — of which I don’t think we’ve heard the last — and her fear about her growing affections for Lucas, Pete and Violet’s infant son. I, frankly, think that Addison’s just using Pete, despite the fact that she said, “Maybe I could be in love with you too.” Emphasis on the word maybe. Of course Pete was the one who first said, “Maybe I could be in love with you,” but I can’t really get a firm read on his sincerity.

However, if Sheldon Wallace hadn’t told Addison to “grow the hell up,” I don’t think she’d be suggesting to Pete that she could develop feelings for him. I don’t think she loves Pete. I think she loves the fact that Pete’s comfortable, that she doesn’t have to work hard when she’s with him, and that she’s delighted by the fact that he’s already got a kid, right there and ready to love, when she cannot bear one of her own. (Reminds me of Grey’s Callie Torres and McSteamy, only they don’t have a kid. Yet.)

I suspect that Addison’s true feelings, at least for now, are for Sam. Why else would the writers have included that last scene in which Addison told Sam, “You and I were a bad call,” and have her rest her head on him only to have Naomi walk in and feel all betrayed? Why would Addison suddenly cop to the fact that they kissed but that it’s not going anywhere?

And really, Naomi has no business telling off other people when it comes to romance. She’s busy juggling two men. She’s dating her boss, who Pete and Fife know has ALS, only he hasn’t told Naomi and is manipulating her in order to get her to expedite their medical practice’s ALS research. That can’t go anyplace good.

In the same episode, Naomi also asked Fife, who’s already declared his feelings for her, to raise his wheelchair to an upright position so she could plant some passionate kisses on his lips.

The Cooper/Charlotte/Sheldon thing has been plain awkward, from the ick-inducing peach conversation in the elevator, to Cooper and Sheldon’s adolescent scuffle in front of the fridge which left them both with bloody wounds on their faces. Sheldon doesn’t love Charlotte. Charlotte doesn’t love Sheldon. But Sheldon’s willing to fight Cooper and get his nose bloodied, when Cooper’s the one who actually loves Charlotte.

Where’s the scorecard when you need it?

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This has been a strange week of holiday-themed shows for me. First the Mardi Gras episode on Greek, and then last night’s grand St. Patrick’s Day on The Office. I mean, no offense to anyone who actually commemorates these days for real reasons, but talk about scrounging around for holidays. Although I get Meredith holding St. Patrick’s Day up as “one perfect day of the year,” for me the rest was a bit much. Except for Kevin in his all-green outfit. That was awesome.

Dwight’s mega-desk was actually reminiscent of some of the old gags he and Jim have traded in years past, but it devolved into something less about humor and more about psychosis. This was not an all gift-wrapping desk, or a desk relocated to the men’s room. This was Dwight becoming a bit unhinged. It was like the show was trying to get some of the old, nostalgic good vibes going and missed completely. At least for me.

Which could also be the theme song for this entire Kathy Bates guest arc. I get that a lot of you are enjoying it, and I’m honestly glad that someone’s smiling as a result of the whole Sabre thing, but for me it’s just one great big sucking sound. She’s not funny, and her effect on those around her, particularly Michael, is far from humorous.

Michael being an idiot and planning a trip to Florida was predictable. Fine. But I was left totally confused with the entire staying late at work thing. Let me review it, because maybe talking it through will help. Michael bothered Jo (Bates) all day, making it quite clear that he wasn’t doing anything of substance. So when he went to check out for the day, she made reference to the fact that he might want to reconsider whether or not he’d put in a full day’s work. Michael decided to stay, and forced everyone to stay with him … which somehow led to Jim having to ask for permission to attend “a client meeting,” and Dwight canceling his real meeting, thereby getting thanked by Jo for doing so. Because it’s not okay to meet with a client?

And then Oscar and everyone else was so grateful to Michael for “springing” them that drinks were on them, and Michael questioned whether he’d just risked his future at the firm. Can someone explain that entire sequence of events to me? Because it would be odd enough if Michael had merely taken what Jo had said and forced everyone into staying to keep him company. But somehow Jo herself turned a minor reprimand of Michael into holding the entire office hostage. Were we meant to laugh at that?

Not me. But I did laugh at some of these:

• Andy making a How I Met Your Mother reference when talking about his first date with Erin. I like when shows give us that “We’re real and in our world they have that show too” vibe.
• Sabre’s minority empowering “Printing all colors” initiative … could it sound more offensive?
• Darryl moved upstairs! Might we get more of him now? That would be awesome!

And some quotes:

“It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.” – Michael, on St. Patrick’s Day

“How do I put this delicately? Does her family owe your family something in terms of a past injustice?” – Michael, asking Darryl how he got on Jo’s good side

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How long before Richard Webber breaks and can no longer take the fact  that he has to submit to Chief Derek’s whims, particularly when Derek still looks so ill at ease as the chief and doesn’t wear his power well?

How long before Richard tires of having to compete with the likes of Owen Hunt, whom he’s fond of saying was “in diapers” when Richard was already doing operations?

How long before Richard reaches his limit of having to accede to things like Derek’s decision to favor Owen’s seat-of-the-pants/non-plan operation plan for a tumor the size of Montana instead of Richard’s well-researched one?

I honestly don’t see what Richard’s other options are, really, unless Derek voluntarily gives up the post of chief (so he can do more surgery), or the hospital’s board ousts Derek in favor of Richard based on Richard’s wealth of experience, unless Richard goes to another hospital, or becomes some major researcher, wins the Avery Award.

As I watched the new Grey’s Anatomy episode “Push,” I also wondered how long until Owen’s real feelings toward Teddy Altman — you know he’s in love with her, seriously — manifest themselves so that more than just Meredith Grey can discern what he’s thinking. Clearly Owen and Teddy have a deep bond, have significant history that binds them together.

When you put that history up against the fact that Cristina Yang has already said she’d pick surgery and learning from Teddy over her relationship with Owen, that she chose to work with Richard instead of helping Owen with the mammoth tumor case, it won’t exactly be a surprise for Owen to, at some point, feel betrayed and long to be cherished in the way in which Teddy would cherish him, particularly if Teddy’s being actively and sincerely courted by someone else.

And how ’bout Callie Torres, Den Mother, huh? Loved seeing Callie embracing her awesomeness, getting past all that awful George/Izzie garbage and the abruptly interrupted Hahn storyline. A confident Callie, combined with a vulnerable-yet-strong/no waxing/no yoga Bailey will always put a smile on my face.

But that twist at the end of the episode, where the ever-cheerful, child loving, heart-on-her-sleeve Arizona Robbins said she doesn’t want to have kids, does not bode well. Not. At. All. I worry that it screams, shrieks actually, of foreshadowing for Callie and McSteamy to pair up and have a kid together, rendering Arizona, Little Grey and Teddy heart-broken (unless Owen snaps Teddy up first).

So, how long before Richard and Owen snap, before Callie and McSteamy decide to have a kid?

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As much as I love the word “lackluster”, it gets tedious. Just like American Idol has over the last few nights.

But that’s not going to stop me from employing it:  The girls were lackluster … the guys were lackluster.

Of the girls, only Crystal Bowersox really stood out. Damn can that girl translate a song out into the audience and across the airwaves through my television set. She can wail, she can play and you can see she loves it. It comes effortlessly to her.

Siobahn Magnus took a chance, but she just didn’t have the “umph” needed to propel her anywhere further into the order, let alone in an orbit anywear near Bowersox. Still, she’s got something going on.

Lacey Brown was uninspiring to a fault, but that’s what she seems to do best. Katelyn Epperly? Wow. What a straightforward Carole King version of “I Feel The Earth Move.” Waitress Didi Benami? I like her and like her lilt … that’s no surprise. But she didn’t bring it this week. And Paige Miles? *snnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrree*

Katie Stevens? While a good voice, her lack of maturity and unevenness really show at times.  (Like this week, for instance.) Lilly Scott? Ugh. Patsy Cline must’ve been spinning a bit in her grave.

The guys weren’t any better.

Only Lee Dewyze and Big Mike Lynche and his falsetto stood out. Even Tim Urban made a move by singing “Hallelujah,” even though it was a bit uneven. (See video below. I amused myself by replacing the lyrics with “Have A Tuna.” I know … I’m childish.)

Mulleted Alex Lambert? Andrew Garcia, who peaked early during the Hollywood rounds? Casey James? Shaky-at-first Aaron Kelly? Todrick Hall and that hideous version of “Somebody To Love” (with the barely listenable back-up singers)? All. Lack. Luster.

So it wasn’t much of a surprise when Katelyn Epperly took her final bow from the stage.  Nor was it a jaw-dropper that Todrick Hall left as well.  I was under the impression Alex Lambert might hold on for a few more episodes, given he was shaking off the flutters that have haunted him for a while.  And I could have sworn it was Katie Stevens who would have gotten the boot, not Lilly Scott.  But — in retrospect — that made sense.

So … will the six gals and six guys step up to the plate, get jiggy with it and finally quit all the snoozefest balladry they keep tossing our way?

One would think with Rolling Stones’ tunes coming at us next week that could very well be the case.  Me, personally … I’m ready to “get my ya-yas out” …..

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Have you missed 3o Rock as much as I have? It wasn’t on the long of a break, just a few weeks for the Olympics and that crappy baby episode of The Office. It may not have been very long, but it seemed like an eternity. Luckily, 30 Rock picked up right where it left off, with Jack exploring a new relationship with Avery Jessup, played by the awesome Elizabeth Banks, and Liz recovering from oral surgery. Frankly, this episode followed so many plots from the previous episode, that I think the break really hurt it. With that being said, I still thought it was a great installment.

It was a little sad that Don Geiss had to meet his end in such a non-relevant, off screen manner because of Rip Torn’s legal issues. The show didn’t even leave the door open for a return of Torn if he gets himself some help. It’s a shame, because Geiss was a great character. It did give the show an opportunity to have a completely bizarre cameo from Jack Welch. It was also a nice way for the show to work in NBC’s sale to “Kabletown.” 30 Rock has always been great at “winking” at the audience in these situations.

Meanwhile, Liz was still recovering from her root canal, meeting up with a fellow patient that she met, but didn’t remember, in recovery. Liz’s completely awkward first date with her “future husband” (as he was labelled in her cell phone) was pitch perfect. I love that it was equally horrible for the both of them. I’ve become so used to watching Liz be the complete disaster when it comes to relationships, it was refreshing to see Wesley act like just as big of a fool.

Meanwhile, the show returned to Tracy’s quest for an EGOT (that’s winning an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony). He managed to star in an inexplicably critically acclaimed one man show, that as near as I can tell, consisted of him reading the phone book on stage for five hours. Luckily he had Jenna there as an acting coach.

The final highlight was definitely Kenneth’s missing prescription for his anti-donkey spell pills. Sad for Kenneth, dangerous for his wallet, hilarious for us.

There is one negative thing I can say about this episode. I found it to be a little short on quotes, but this was my favorite:

“It was a disaster. We were so awkward that the waitress gave us separate checks without asking and a priest came over and asked us who we lost” – Liz, on her first date with Wesley

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This episode caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting a whole lot from former American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee, but I was pleasantly surprised by her performance. However, this episode as a whole was by far one of the weaker ones we’ve seen. Maybe it was because they focused so much on McPhee and had to split the group up, but there were very few laugh-out-loud moments.

Katharine McPhee was a way better actress than I expected, but I wouldn’t call her funny. Troy and Abed were split up, Britta spent the entire episode looking for a switch, and Annie just flitted around in the hallways acting as Jeff’s conscience. Even Jeff’s girlfriend was only brought back to serve as a way for him to go after Amber. Everything was disjointed, and the flow just wasn’t there this week.

Chevy Chase is hilarious in general, and Pierce is funny when he’s a bumbling, vaguely racist, sexist old man who has a disturbing thing for Shirley. When you get too deep and see how truly pathetic it is, it’s just kind of sad. We’ve seen glimpses of that before, but this is the first time we’ve really gotten an entire episode of it.

This entire episode felt like the “special lesson” part of an episode of Full House. Shirley gets told she’s a good mom while helping a repressed young girl, Troy helps Britta stop being quite so ridiculous, and Jeff helps Pierce realize he has a family. This is all quite lovely, but it’s not that interesting, and it’s definitely not that funny.

With all that said, there is one moment in this episode that makes up for everything I didn’t like about it, and really just sums up the character of Annie better than anything else I’ve ever heard. In fact, I would go so far as to say that it sums up any character better than anything else I’ve ever heard: when Jeff agrees to help Pierce because Annie asked him to and he tells her, “You’re becoming dangerous; it’s those doe eyes. Disappointing you is like choking The Little Mermaid with a bike chain.” Now that’s what I’m talking about.

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I may be completely wrong, but I found something unique about the Unsub on last night’s episode of Criminal Minds. He was crazy, for sure, but it was a craziness bred by desperation more than anything else. Have we ever seen an Unsub driven by something as specific as the desire to get his daughter back from foster care?

Imagine being where he was mentally. His wife died, and the courts deemed him unfit to care for his own daughter (did we hear how they got involved in the first place?). For whatever reason, the deficiency he connected with was his not having a wife to care for his little girl. So that’s exactly what he set out to find. All he wanted was his kid back. I’m not defending his actions, but I think any parent can at least in theory understand what he thought he was doing.

And the compartmentalization he was utilizing in his life? Wow. He’d hit the road, study and snatch a new mark, and then “test” them for a day. Meanwhile, his daughter was always on his mind, and he’d return to her often to almost give her a report on how things were going. And from the little we saw he seemed to be a loving and caring father. Again, I’m not here to defend his actions, but I think the character was a really interesting construct. There’s something they could study back at the BAU.

Of course the most important thing I got out of this episode was to never hitchhike. Not that I’ve ever considered it, or been in the position to do so, but how many people, particularly teenagers and young adults, are out there hitching their way across the country? It’s unbelievably unsafe, even if it is cheap and somewhat dependable. I know we shouldn’t go around painting everyone with the same brush, and my hope is that most people are good, but why run the risk of getting the bad apple? Prentiss is probably low-balling it by guessing that there are a half-dozen serial killers driving across the highway system in this country. Now that’s an idea for a series….

What was with that weird vibe I was getting between Rossi and Reid? I’m sure it’s an exaggeration, but it felt like Reid was only as useful to Rossi as the offhand data he could rattle off. I’m sure I’m over-analyzing, and I think the scene was supposed to fall into the infrequent cutesy side of the show, but Rossi misses in his delivery a lot for me. And I think it’s only when he’s paired with certain people, like Reid. Reid’s “little buddy” relationship with Morgan, and brains-to-the-brawn of Hotch work really well with how awkward he is socially, but I just always find him clashing with Rossi. And I put that on Rossi. It’s a shame that I’ve been waiting so long for Reid to get more screen time, only to have him finally get it with Rossi. How could Rossi leave Reid in that ditch?

Oh! And Morgan seemed to be back in a position of leadership. At least in dealing with the local cops. How many heads can the beast have at once?

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(Season 6, Episodes 4-5)

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am officially lost. I’ve hung in there with FX as it downgraded The Practice from four airings per weekend to two, adjusting my virgin diary accordingly, even taking off a week here and there. But it would appear that the network has thwarted my ability to keep up with it — it completely skipped airing episode three of season six, “Liar’s Poker.” As a result, I walked into episode four only to discover that Jimmy had a gambling addiction that led him to steal money from a client account in order to pay his bookie, played by Jeffrey Tambor. Any clarity would be greatly appreciated.

6.4 “Vanished: Part 1″

Jimmy’s $27,000 debt to bookie Sid (Tambor) sent him scrambling to raise fast cash. A dip into the Peterson trust account (it would have been more interesting if it were a client we knew) for money to bet on a winning horse opened Jimmy and the firm up to potential liability … that Eugene seemed prepared to cover up. I dislike Jimmy, and I think he’s incompetent, but while I believe he has the moral ambiguity necessary to do something like steal from a client trust account (remember how he ended up at the firm in the first place), he doesn’t have an addictive personality. There’s nothing that we’ve ever seen that would substantiate his having a serious gambling problem (unless I missed some discussion in episode three). This stunk badly of trying to stir up some drama.

The other big story was the couple who retained Bobby to sue a man civilly who they suspected had kidnapped their son 18 years earlier. It was an interesting method of getting him to reveal where the body was buried, but the fact that it turned into a vengeance thing was as understandable as it was predictably boring. And I’ll tell you something — I believe he had nothing to do with it. He looked guilty as sin, and were it me in that position I’d never believe him, but the fact that he molests little boys doesn’t mean he’s automatically guilty of whatever crime we can think to hang around his neck. Bobby’s righteous indignation really needs to be dialed back.

The episode ended with a twist — the appearance of a young man claiming to be the missing, presumed dead, boy. I love Jonathan Tucker!

And I loved this quote from Bobby when talking about his ability to crack the convicted child molester on the stand: “Contrary to the myth, not all child molesters are rocket scientists.” No way!

6.5 “Vanished: Part 2″

Now things really started to heat up. The woman the kidnapped Chad Baldwin/current James Tucker (Tucker) called mom, Allison Tucker (Patricia Wettig), should have been the only suspect from the start. The very fact that she couldn’t adequately explain why she’d never gone to the authorities about this boy that had suddenly been left in her care should have screamed her guilt. I’m actually surprised it took everyone as long as it did to figure that one out. And the result was that a man who’d served his time for the crimes he’d committed headed back to jail to serve seven more for another person’s sins.

I’m surprised that Bobby and Ellenor have yet to change since becoming parents. Bobby thought that if James knew Allison had kidnapped him, he would abandon her. The woman who raised him. Has Bobby made no parental connection to his son in all this time? It’s unlikely enough in a case where the child lived through years of abuse. But when this is the woman who’s loved him, cared for him, and raised him for 18 years? Is he delusional?

Jimmy definitely is. His pleas to Eugene not to tell Bobby about what he did, as well as his imagining that Eugene could or should ever forgive him is crazy. I honestly can’t believe that Bobby and Eugene are not at the very least firing Jimmy for what was at minimum a grave breach of trust. When are these people going to wake up?

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Yes, Nip/Tuck just ended its run last week. Yes, this is the fastest a television show has gotten the CliqueClack Flashback treatment. With those details being taken care of, let me explain myself here. I really wanted to address the ending of this important show. Even though we weren’t regularly covering the show, I was a fan. I sat down to watch the series finale and was all prepared to have something to say about it. Well, a funny thing happened. After watching the completely lackluster ending of the series, I had absolutely nothing to say. It was decidedly and overwhelmingly “meh.”

I really didn’t want to a write a post about my disappointment, because the show had been so good in its past. I figured the perfect solution was to look back at some of those great moments in a CliqueClack Flashback post.

The past couple seasons may not have been the strongest, but in its heyday, Nip/Tuck was quite the show. It was bold and unique: a medical show that didn’t focus on hospitals or good-guy doctors. Instead, Nip/Tuck took a probing look into the lives of a couple less-than-honorable plastic surgeons. It was always edgy, pretty graphic, and never pulled any punches. Was it way over the top, completely soapy, and a little trashy? Absolutely, and that’s why I loved it.

The cast was strong, but more importantly, they really worked well together. In the early seasons that included Julian McMahon, Dylan Walsh, and Joely Richardson. Richardson’s time on the show diminished in the later seasons, leaving Walsh and McMahon to shoulder most of the load, and I think the show suffered a bit because of it. I think the real glue for the show, however, was Roma Maffia as Liz Cruz, the practice’s anesthesiologist. When everyone else was fighting or bed-hopping, she was a steady influence on the other characters.

Guest stars were a huge part of the show, and they had some doozies: Famke Janssen, Portia de Rossi, Vanessa Redgrave (Richardson’s mother), Paula Marshall, Bradley Cooper, Sharon Gless, and Rosie O’Donnell just to name a few.

The plots were always big and soapy: women turning out to be men, uncertain parentage, breakups, makeups, serial killers, amnesia, questioning of sexuality, murders, and of course, tons of plastic surgery. The special effects and make up were incredibly impressive and some of the most realistic surgery scenes that I have seen on TV.

The heart of this series was really about the relationship between the two surgeon partners: Sean McNamara and Christian Troy. I once heard Murphy describe the show as  “a love story between two heterosexual men,” and I think it describes the relationship perfectly. Troy was definitely the standout character of the series though. Truly, he was on of the most unapologetically awful people I’ve ever seen on TV, and somehow McMahon managed to make him enjoyable to watch. That’s quite a feat.

When the show moved to Miami for its final two seasons, it did seem to lose some of the luster. Perhaps executive producer and creator Ryan Murphy was too busy working on Glee, or perhaps ideas weren’t as easy to come by. Let’s face it, after a few seasons, just about everyone had slept with everyone else, every crazy plastic surgery had been committed, and every soap cliche had been explored. The change in scenery didn’t exactly reinvigorate the show, but there were still some great episodes.

Nip/Tuck also did a whole lot for a fledgling FX network. It (and its slew of awards, including a Best Drama Golden Globe) helped legitimize FX as a real network (along with The Shield) and cable as a viable power for original programming. It paved the way for some more great television on FX, including Damages and Sons of Anarchy.

What did you think about Nip/Tuck? Did you stick around for the finale? Did you like it?

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I definitely haven’t been shy about calling for more clarity on who Axl on The Middle is. He’s a great family member, but as an independent teen, the most we’ve seen of him has been when hanging out with his friends on Valentine’s Day. And there he lapsed into some kind of morphed persona that I wasn’t a fan of. Even Axl’s limited time with girls has been clouded by the way he treated Mike when Axl’s car broke down. Not that I like a whiny teen fighting with his mommy, but Axl’s always done better as family member Axl.

So I suppose I should be thankful for what we saw last night … only not so much. I definitely think the message was right, but what was wrong with Morgan (Alexa Vega) that she missed how unmotivated Axl was for 51 days? And who didn’t get a Zac Efron in 17 Again vibe when Axl lost the big game because he was too busy lost in his heart? I remember high school love, but everything here seemed just a bit too fast-forwarded. I actually think watching Axl woo Morgan and develop feelings for her over the course of part of a season would have been really great.

I did, however, love the tape of Mike crying that Frankie saved. Although I’m surprised she didn’t learn that lesson in her past life, when Debra got mad at Ray for saving an answering machine tape that contained a break-up message from an old girlfriend on Everybody Loves Raymond. But it was funny, albeit stereotypical, that Mike wasn’t even able to look Axl in the eye after Axl heard the tape. I would like to see Mike a little more parental, but at least he’s growing.

The sucker list that Frankie keeps is cute. The only problem is that it’s impossible to keep up with all the new vultures who call you for money (and it’s way too high for Brick to be realistically able to reference it). And that stupid National Do Not Call Registry is worthless, because they somehow keep calling anyway, right? I think the list is just an internal one … you’re on it in the registry’s database, but they don’t share that information  with anyone else. You know, privacy and all. So what good does it do?

I was into the Sue and Brick combo last week. I even got into it at the beginning of last night’s episode, when Brick was trying to get babysitter Sue to let him stay up and watch a scary movie. But at some point the combination of zombie crap, and a Sue/Brick pairing meaning more Sue, left me praying for it all to end. It kills two birds with one stone by giving them both screen time, if that’s even the point, but who the hell wants more Sue? Brick does well with Frankie, Axl, even Mike … why mess with a winning formula?

Definitely not a bad episode, but this show’s done a lot better.

“So catch me up; these zombies … why are they seeking revenge?” – Brick to Sue, before beginning their zombie movie

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I’m having deja vu — either that or I’m just realizing how much I missed the ABC Wednesday night comedy block — but I think Cougar Town is getting funnier. Cougar Town really is one of the shows that makes me laugh out loud the most each week, but I’m still laughing, the morning after. I mean, heck, look at Andy in his Blumfy….

My favorite part of the episode had to be the gay traps the characters kept setting for each other. The way it seamlessly ran throughout the whole episode, coming back when you least expected it … awesome. From Travis’s fuscia shirt to charades, to the Indigo Girls lesbian gay trap, they hit it all. Had they included the pet names from Modern Family, we would have gone 360.

I’m loving the dynamics between Jules and Grayson … they both want it, they both know it and they both are putting off the inevitable. Which, in a way, is probably for the best because they are both still needing some time after their failed marriages.

The dynamics between Travis and Jules have always been a favorite of mine, but I’m starting to appreciate the father-son time between Travis and Bobby. Is noodling really a thing? Apparently, as Wikipedia tells me so. C’mon — that’s funny! And when Bobby acting like Elisabeth Hasselbeck is in the same story line, along with that being yet another gay trap? I’m sold.

Other moments of greatness:

• Andy is so gay for Bobby.
• Grayson’s tiny eyes … again, throughout the episode. Tom wasn’t even sure he was watching him!
• Hand fart — again, is that really a thing?
• Andy on the motorcycle … or off of it, as the case may be.
• “I like turtles,” from none other than zombie Ellie.

What was your favorite part of last night’s Cougar Town?

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Welcome back to another episode of our PodClack podcast. Make sure you tune in and make your friends tune in, or else Jay won’t make his adoption plans final (listen to hear what I’m talking about).

This week Jay Black plays TV match-up with co-host Christy T.; director Brian Herzlinger reviews Death at a Funeral, Rich Keller is… discussing The Office, and Jay makes Christina Black watch Pardon the Interruption.

Please keep the comments coming and let us know what you think. Got suggestions? Questions? We’d love to hear ‘em! Make sure you get everyone you know to subscribe to the PodClack in iTunes or via some other feed — we feed Jay’s ego a careful diet of traffic numbers and subscriber count, so let’s not let that sucker die of starvation.

Thanks for listening!

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“We do nothing.” – Shawn, on what to do next about the Yin killer
“Nothing. How Seinfeld-ian.” – Lassiter

How quickly I completely forgot that, back in January, Shawn had blatantly mentioned that his girlfriend, Abagail, would be back from her trip on this exact date, March 10. If I had remembered that, I wonder if I would have drawn any conclusions as to what was going to happen in this episode, or at least a crucial portion of it.

Speaking of Abigail, really, how selfish is she? Instead of being worried about Shawn’s life — who is sometimes in the line of fire himself — she’s worried about the next time she might get kidnapped because of his job? Usually when someone doesn’t want a relationship with a person in law enforcement, it’s because they don’t want to have to deal with losing the other person, not because of their own life being at risk. Sheesh.

The Hitchcockian references were really well done. Even the “o” painted on the Psych headquarters sign fit in perfectly. The whole scene with them acting out parts of the movie was a bit hokey and overkill, but isn’t that part for the course with this show? It was never really meant to deal with many compelling and realistic crimes — I mean, it’s a comedy for crying out loud.

Now, let’s get to the mysterious Yin character, who we clearly have not seen the last of. Like I said, it’s pretty coincidental that I just happened to mention the lack of story arcs on this show, and here we’ve got what I believe is our first one. With Yin still on the loose, it’s only a matter of time before he’s back, most likely next season.

The phone call Shawn received from Yin sure sounded an awful lot like Shawn’s father’s voice, though clearly it wasn’t him. And even if it was possible it could be Henry, I simply wouldn’t want to believe it. Yin is most likely someone we haven’t yet met on this show, just like Yang (Ally Sheedy) from last season (and tonight), however I swear the hand in the final scene looked like a black man’s, which make’s sense (with Yin and Yang, black and white). It’s probably a stretch that it could be Gus’s dad, played at one time by actor Keith David, right? I’m not sure I want to see Gus torn up in that way, should it be revealed that his own father is a killer. Like I said, this is a comedy. Have you got any theories or guesses?

Psych’s off until the Summer. See you back here when it returns!

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