So Project Runway’s first season on Lifetime has wrapped up. And … yeah. It’s certainly been a strange ride this season. I feel as though I cannot even express in the slightest how I felt about the finale without betraying who won. It was strange, because, unlike in previous seasons, I wasn’t rooting for any of the contenders until this very last episode. None of the designers’ talent really struck me as anything worthy of cheering on, although all of them were, you know, competent.

Finale

Are we behind a cut now? Are we in the spoiler zone? Cool.

Damn it, Irina!

Damn it!

No denying that Irina’s a hard worker but, damn, she was a super-bitch. That’s right, not a regular bitch but a super-bitch. I don’t think anyone was particularly pleased in our finale live-chat. Even though her designs were far more interesting than Althea’s collection, I felt like Carol Hannah should have taken it. If she was going to be so ballsy and just run with the all black aspect of her garments, she should have pushed the textures and silhouettes more. Now, I’ve absolutely nothing against wearing all black always (because I do, almost), but it’s dangerous ground if there’s not enough play with textures and fabrics. Maybe we just lost too much of the effect by watching through a television screen; I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Oh, and I was stunned by all the love the judges gave her for the t-shirts, which looked awful and cheap.

Althea’s collection was the weakest of the three, I thought, so I was surprised that she was the runner-up. Her pieces looked very “now” but that’s about it. In six months’ time, those outfits will look very dated and distinctly “2009.” Actually, the final elimination was filmed quite a while ago, and the collection already seemed a little old. Also, I loved how Althea was continuously half-accused of stealing from Irina in the last few episodes, considering how she bitched out Logan behind his back when she thought he had copied her zipper collar.

By personality alone, I was rooting for Carol Hannah in the final episode. Not just because she was about to throw up on her shoes half the time, but because she didn’t carry herself with the same attitude that Althea and Irina did. Previously, she annoyed me just as much as everyone else (so much smiling … I’m allergic to smiling), though I eventually felt the need to cheer someone on. I really wish attitude played a role in deciding the final winner. Designers in the real world need to work with clients and other designers and it’s all about cultivating relationships; having a shitty attitude is a huge strike against a commercial artist. Anyway. I thought Carol Hannah’s collection was the most visually striking, especially the first number that came down the runway. I can understand the argument that it wasn’t terribly cohesive, though.

Again, I’m a little frustrated that such an incredible bitch won but that’s about it. I’ll forget about this season soon enough, I’m sure. Doubly so because season seven is already on its way, apparently.

I’m bracing myself.

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Shows must hate being on NBC. It’s not enough that nobody actually watches the shows on NBC, but then the bigwigs force their programs into these silly theme weeks. A month ago, all their shows were about volunteering, and this week they featured stories about going green. Certainly these are altruistic causes, and they don’t bother me as much as they surely bother others, but I mostly feel bad for the writers who have to work these stories into their shows.

At least 30 Rock does an excellent job working the stories in. I think they are the best show on television when it comes to integrating product placement. This is mostly because the writers are not afraid to make fun of it. I’m reminded of an episodes a few years back where there was a blatant placement for a telephone company, followed by Liz looking straight into the camera and saying: “Can we please have our money now?” right before a cut to commercial. This episode featured a similar moment, where Liz makes fun of the green peacock in the corner of the screen and Kenneth looks down at it.

Overall, I thought this was one of the stronger episodes of the season. There were so many quotable lines, I had trouble keeping up (and I know I missed a few below). All of the characters really shined this week. The flashbacks of Jenna as Liz’s roommate were classic. Tracy and Jack going for vasectomies was funny. Any excuse to bring Tracy Jr. or Dr. Spaceman on the show is okay in my book. Kenneth acting as the “green police” worked really well. Of course, Liz resorting to trying to “Jack, Jenna, and Tracy” her new roommate out of their place was excellent. It only added to the comedy that in order to actually get him out, she had to “Frank” him out.

A selection of my favorite quotes:

“Do you know why my place is so big? When I was first married to my ex-wife we were in the basement. Over the years I kept buying the floors above me to make room for the family that I thought we’d have. Well now I have something better than a family: a walk in humidor, a lap pool, and a replica of the Irish Pub where my grandmother was born.” – Jack, on his apartment

“Some of them are sun tea, and… some of them were sun tea.” – Frank, on the jars in his office

“Brian sucks, he doesn’t have a TV and he wears political tee shirts.” – Liz on her new roommate

“Don’t worry, Jack, our topical cold open is about Omorosa borrowing Bjork’s swan dress.” – Liz

“Kenneth, I once took a low volume shower with Ed Begley Jr., what more can I do?” – Jenna, on going green

“Don’t talk to me like that. You look like a turtle who lost its shell.” – Liz, to Kenneth

“There’s an old African proverb, that I made up: if you want to go quickly, go alone, if you want to go far, go together. We have to go far. Quickly.” – Former Vice President Al Gore

Did you love this episode too?

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Or even just not have it sitting and waiting outside for him, double-parked on New York City streets, for an indefinite amount of time. It certainly seemed as if his limo was the only one there, and I doubt that the CEO wouldn’t have had a car to take him home, so there was something weird going on that allowed Michael to sneak back in after running from the shareholder meeting.

But either way, this was a rather weird and off-the-wall episode. So let’s pull it back for a moment and start at the beginning. Is it Earth Day? I didn’t think so, which confused me at first, and then I noticed the little green peacock in the corner of my screen. And then I realized that The Office is the first show I watch on NBC all week. As well as the penultimate one, so I have no idea what that was about. But a cold-open with Dwight as Recyclops, surfing through the years (and receptionists) was truly back to form. I can’t believe they brought in Ronni (Dale Raoul) just for that! But was Ryan at the desk in the right chronological order?

There were some interesting developments in the office itself, although I found it curious that no one questioned Jim’s authority when he was #2, but now that he’s co-#1 he’s weak? Anyway, it’s not surprising that Ryan was undermining Jim’s authority via e-mail, but I do find it somewhat frustrating that Jim (well, I guess really John Krasinski) doesn’t really emote very much. I suppose I never noticed it before because that wasn’t who Jim was supposed to be, but now he needs to have a side of him that actually cares — about Pam, the coming baby, his new position. Where’s that guy hibernating?

Anyway, I enjoyed someone finally getting on Ryan about actually doing some work, as well as Jim following through and getting him to agree to do it (though I’m not convinced that he actually did). But isn’t sticking him in a closet the wrong move? Jim could have locked him in with hard copies of the data, and nothing else, and all Ryan would have to do is sit on the floor with his phone, or his iPod, or a thread of his hair, and not do any work. And locking him in the closet a) gives him his own office, as opposed to everyone else other than Michael and Jim, and b) keeps him out of sight, so really no one would know what he was doing. I think Jim was more trying to disable Ryan from undermining him further, as opposed to anything else. But smart not trying to fire him — it would have looked really bad when Michael returned and reinstated him the next day.

The shareholder meeting in New York was really ridiculous. There’s nothing about the way that meeting was run that makes any sense, either for the type of meeting it was, or for the size and type of company that Dunder Mifflin is. In fact, it was so absurd that it’s not even worth getting into, save for the fact that I get that it was structured as such in order to give Michael a stage upon which to be himself. I can’t believe he thought he was riding off to glory, especially after everything that happened last week with the company’s uncertain future. And did David Wallace not warn everyone about Michael?

What was fun to see was Andy pushing Oscar to stand up and say something. My wife kept repeating that Oscar has some upward momentum coming at work, a promotion or a move to another department where he’d be of more use. Clearly he’s one of the few competent business people at the company, at least in Scranton. So I don’t know if I was therefore even more disappointed that he failed to voice his opinions to the executives when Michael brought him into the hospitality suite. One of the skills required as you move up the ranks is telling truth to power, as dumb a cliche as that is. Oscar may have blown his only chance.

And despite my questioning why they had the opportunity for it, it was funny to see Michael rounding Dwight, Andy, and Oscar up on his dash to the limo, and their collectively “stealing” it to take them home. Although, one call from dispatch….

I also think Oscar is a good monkey-in-the-middle between Andy and Dwight, and I’d love to see the three together more. Did you hear when Dwight asked “How is he gonna have grandkids?” There’s just such an ease to the banter between Andy and Dwight, so with someone else in the mix, you get one-liners like that. I’d definitely love to get more of them.

And a suggestion to the producers, for this season’s DVD set: an extra inside Creed and Ryan’s session on Creed’s troubles with the ladies. I’d love to hear what he was saying.

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I don’t know who I felt worse for — Bailey, or the rest of Meredith and Derek’s guests, seated in painful silence around the Christmas dinner table … but we’ve all been there. If there’s one thing last night’s episode brought to mind, it’s the awkward family moments that come inexorably with the holidays.

Where to begin? “Holidaze” had so many stories going on. I’ll skip the patient stories. They were forgettable (although the snow girl and her faithful guy were kind of sweet). Let’s talk about those awkward moments.

Poor Miranda, in the midst of repairing bowels and hernias, receives a visit from her disapproving father for Christmas. Can you believe that Bailey has a father? Since she’s always been a mother-figure on the show, I find it hard to accept that she ever was a little girl. Still, when she finally decides to let loose one of those classic Bailey tirades on her dad, I empathized with her. And him. And everyone else sitting at the table, staring at their plates in nervous silence.

I’ve been at more than a few family gatherings when an argument has broken out between relatives (usually between my dad and one of his in-laws). Sure, it’s embarrassing enough for the people who are arguing, but they never seem to realize how agonizing it is for all the bystanders. Bailey’s dad had it coming, but he was right about one thing — it wasn’t the time or place for it.

Oh, but the awkwardness does not end there! Mark finds out he has an eighteen-year-old daughter named Sloan. She moves in with Mark and Lexie, throwing their age difference into sharp relief. While I cannot imagine Bailey having a father, I also cannot imagine Mark having a kid, especially not a hot chick almost the same age as his girlfriend! At one point Mark looks at her, hoping to start a conversation, and she teasingly asks him, “What are you staring at, you old perv?” Yeah … that’s not awkward. But I got a good laugh when Lexie and Baby Sloan start arguing, and Derek tells Mark that his kids are fighting. Ha.

More awkward moments — how about Owen staring at Teddy and getting caught by Cristina? Or even worse, how about seeing the Chief drunk? Meredith was beyond embarrassed. Hey, if your Uncle Fred likes to get smashed and make scenes at family gatherings, you probably know exactly how she feels.

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Well Kripke and the gang have left us with quite the doozy before slapping us with a two month wait before a new episode of Supernatural. After a few weeks of episodes that mostly stood on their own and didn’t tread much into the myth arc of the season/series, it made sense that the November sweeps episode would bring the Winchesters and gang right into the thick of things again, and us right along with them.

First, let me get this out of the way first. Mark Sheppard. Mark. Freakin’. Sheppard! He’s following me around, I’m sure of it! I made joke of this some time ago, and since then he’s appeared in two other shows I watch: White Collar and, now, Supernatural. Will someone give this guy his own show for crying out loud, and get him out of having to resort to guest roles in all of these shows? It’s borderline ridiculous. No … it IS ridiculous!

I really don’t like having to see good characters die on a show I love, and that’s especially true with Jo and Ellen. However, as we’ve seen with some of the other notable characters who’ve died on this show in the past, it’s not necessarily the last we’ll see of them. Did anyone else find it a bit odd that the final scene centered on only Jo in the photograph, pretty much forgetting the fact that Ellen also sacrificed her life for them all? In any case, I’ll miss them both.

We really got a quick and dirty lesson in how the Colt works, or, er, doesn’t work on Satan. The look of pure relief in Sam’s eyes was painful to watch, as it was quickly wiped away with Satan merely brushing the gaping hole in his head aside like a tiny boo-boo. What are the four other things the Colt can’t kill? And is it that the Devil is just too strong for it to kill him? I imagine God is one other thing the Colt can’t kill, and then probably Death. Any other thoughts?

Castiel is definitely shining as my favorite character this season, so seeing a lot more of him in this episode was great. Loved his “I think I’m starting to feel something” during his lineup of shots with Jo and Ellen. Ah … Jo and Ellen. Sniff.

I’m about ready for Bobby to get healed, and I’m pretty sure he’s feelin’ it too. I’m sure by the time the season’s out, Castiel will regain his angelic powers and will make it one of his first to-do items, right after he’s done helping smite Satan with the boys.

See you in January!

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Again! Again, The Vampire Diaries kills off a main character. Now, before you go getting your panties all in a bunch about me putting a spoiler before the jump in my post, just relax. I won’t say another word about it until it’s safe.

A ton happened in this episode, which kind of sucks because we’re not going to see any movement on any of it until January 21. That’s a super-long hiatus, and I’m bored already.

OK — they brought Logan back from the dead, as a vampire, just to kill him again. They do that on this show and I’m liking it on a number of levels. First of all, no one is safe. They’ve proven that again and again — just look at Vicki. Logan’s reinvention tonight gave us a new evil to delight in. I didn’t really hate Damon in this episode, and I think that’s a smart move on the part of the writers. They are going to have to give Damon some redeemable qualities so we are sympathetic toward him, and they’re starting to do just that, first with his vulnerability to Katherine and now with his, shall we say, camaraderie with the good-as-gold Stefan.

Better yet, Logan’s resurrection brought us a tease … there is still a way to release Katherine and her friends from their eternal trap, but, oh, snap! Logan’s dead so we can’t find out. They’ve got to milk that little mystery for all its worth, because we can’t meet Katherine yet. But it does lead us to question just who it was that turned Logan. My guess is that it’s whoever Elena hit with her car at the end, and she’s going to meet him without her vervain necklace. Jealous dumbass.

The writers are also teasing us with this “daywalker” thing. What’s the deal? Logan is obsessed with it, and Stefan and Damon think they are the only two — just who is Alaric, otherwise known as Daywalker Number Three? He’s fighting on the side of good, unless he’s got a major ulterior motive, which is entirely possible.

One last point, which brings me back to the “no one is safe” thing I mentioned. That’s not quite true, because Caroline has assumed the role of hapless blonde victim, and no matter what, I just can’t see her being offed. The Vampire Diaries could surprise me once again, it’s happened throughout the season, that’s for sure, but something tells me Caroline and her role are around for the long haul.

I’m really digging this show … just don’t tell anyone, OK?

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Through the first eight episodes of FlashForward I found Bryce to be a pretty annoying character. Without knowing his motivation for wanting to commit suicide before the blackout, I had assumed (like many of you, I’m sure), that he was just a stressed-out doctor who couldn’t take the pressure. Because of that, I think I’ve dismissed him and his story line to date.

Based on the previews for this episode, it was obvious that Bryce was going to be the main focus of the show this week. I was expecting a terrible installment, and perhaps those lowered expectations helped me enjoy the episode, but I thought this week was a pleasant surprise.

It was nice to take a little breather from most of the blackout mysteries. With so many clues and suspects piling up, the big picture is beginning to get pretty clouded. This episode served as a bit of a break and a chance to reconnect with some of the characters.

I liked the reveal of Bryce’s cancer, finally giving his character some motivation. I can totally understand where he is coming from now, and even appreciate his overly optimistic sentimentality. I can accept just about anything if there is even the slightest logical motivation behind it. It seems like a lot of shows take for granted that the audience will connect with the characters, or they think they build suspense by hiding motivation. I can’t be the only one who gets frustrated at times with having to trust characters blindly, but I digress.

I fully expected to find the story of Bryce and his Japanese love interest to be cheesy and cliche, and while it is a bit cliche, I found myself willing to go along for the ride. I figure the story line could possibly get drawn out if there are a series of near misses. At the worst, it may turn out to be frustrating and boring, but in a best case scenario this could turn out to be a bright spot on the show, and one that doesn’t revolve around the increasingly murky picture of what caused the blackout.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Did you find it to be hokey, or did you enjoy it?

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There were still a few things that were meh, don’t get me wrong. I’m really not feeling Mollee and think she’s way over her head in this competition (and I’m really not feeling that weird braid thing she does to the side of her head. What is that?). I think Karen should have gone home over Channing, who’s been in the bottom far less,  and I still miss Mia Michaels. Tyce really tried to step up to the crazy-weird plate with the Blackbird routine, but you can’t manufacture mad genius. There was no commitment to the concept, just a few bird-like movements every so often as if he suddenly remembered, “Hey, I’m doing a conceptual routine that mimics the title of the song I chose!”

But enough about my few complaints — this week was much, much better. If Season 6 keeps this up, it could actually shape up to be, well, worthwhile.

I’ve tried to get into the whole Jakob-love thing, but I haven’t really felt until this week when he — forgive me — danced like he was straight, and by straight I mean that I could buy that he had interest in the girl he was dancing with. Jakob has the same problem a lot of male dancers have which Nigel usually tries to touch on tactfully and ends up totally screwing up explaining. It isn’t an issue to be gay and be a guy who dances. If it was, we’d have very few guy dancers. After all, many past favorites of So You Think You Can Dance were gay dudes. The problem is when they’re so very, very gay that they can’t shake that identity and you become uncomfortable for them when they dance with women. Jakob was very thoroughly in that category for me until this week when hip-hop finally shook him out of it. I give all the credit to Napoleon and Tabitha (finding a use for that big, ugly screen in the back! They deserve sainthood) for really giving him a good character and not letting him leap around. This is hip-hop. There’s no leaping in hip-hop.

Paso Doble is a hard style, but I really enjoyed Legacy and Kathryn’s number. A lot of people said they couldn’t believe Legacy in a strong male role, but I could, maybe because I was blinded by the fact that I never knew he was a secret body builder. Plus I always love this dance. The passion! The throwing! The drama! Anyone who dances this or Argentine Tango well sails (get it? Sails?) into my top three with no problem.

But the big winner of his week was, of course the Ryan and Ellenore contemporary piece. Travis is turning himself into a force to be reckoned with, as a choreographer. The piece was touching, evocative, and perfectly paired with music. And Ellenore and Ryan danced it like a dream. Ryan could have given a little more passion, but his lifts were effortless and Ellenore is easily my favorite this season. Her ability to dance with both emotion and technical excellence is surpassed by none.

So keep it up, So You Think You Can Dance. If you keep it up, I may even forgive you, one day.

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Ladies and gentlemen, don your finest couch potato outfit and best Santino/Tim impression for Project Runway’s big season finale! Althea, Carol Hannah, and Irina have spent most of their last week either whining or throwing up, but it’s time to get down to business. Serious business. I’m curious to see how their collections play out, as all of them look like they have a lot of work to do. Will they take the critiques from the last episode to heart or will they shrug it off like so much last season’s knits? Also, it seems like Tim Gunn has a mini-meltdown at some point, so I think we all need to tune in and pretend to comfort him.

I’ll be hosting a live chat tonight as the episode airs so that we can bitch/marvel together. Join us at 10 PM EST to rant and rave and celebrate!

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Yes, Ken Ober was host of MTV’s Remote Control.

From 1987 to 1991 (with syndication beginning in 1989), Ken hosted Remote Control from his “basement,” offering contestants a buffet of pop culture questions — everything from classic and current television and music videos, to solving math problems while a guy, dressed as a bishop, ran around the studio. It wasn’t done in the wryly dry style of many of the game show hosts of the day. Instead, it was done with humor and plenty of good-natured fun. It was appointment television for the MTV crowd, which was comprised of a good many tweens and teens during that era.

The show itself was a combination of classic game show and sketch comedy. Lounging in seat-belted La-Z-Boys, three contestants would answer a series of questions posed by Ober. Sometimes the game play would be stopped, or enhanced, by a variety of characters that would grace Ken’s “basement” studio. For instance, a fairy pixie named Sheldon would read nursery rhymes of television shows for the contestants to guess. In another category (or, as they were called on the series, channels) contestants were asked to finish a line of a song that was ripped out of Colin Quinn’s throat. In yet another category, Ken’s nerdy cousin Flip would laugh the theme songs to various TV shows.

Much of what made Remote Control great was unique for game shows at that time. Aside from the La-Z-Boys, which were seat-belted for when a contestant fell down a chute or behind a wall when eliminated, there were the snack breaks between rounds that caused a deluge of chips or other salty snacks to pour down on their heads. Then there was the famous final round. For the first four seasons of Remote Control it was naming the artists of nine music videos — it was MTV, after all — while strapped to a Craftmatic Adjustable bed. In the fifth season, the contestant was strapped to a metal wheel and had to name music videos while the wheel spun around.

It was also the talent behind the show that made it work so well. In addition to Ober and sidekick Colin Quinn, there was Kari Wuhrer, hostess on the show for the second and third seasons; Adam Sandler, who played the characters Stud Boy and Colin’s cousin Stickpin Quinn; and Dennis Leary, who portrayed Andy Warhol and a drunken Keith Richards (is there any other form of Keith Richards?). There was also John Ten Eyck, who portrayed a number of recurring characters, and keyboardist extraordinaire Steve Treccase, who provided all the musical accompaniment.

Sadly, we will never see a show like Remote Control again. It was one of those rare shows that hit the right nerve at the right time. Now, with so much needless pop culture coming from your computer screen, a game show like Remote Control would be nothing but a blip on the landscape. Especially if it appeared on MTV. Rest in peace, Kenny.

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(Season 4, Episodes 7-10)

Some weird black and white recreations/flashbacks were going on in these episodes, as well as in episode 4.6, and I hope it’s not a new thing. It felt very Cold Case, only that’s not what this show is about. If no one in the courtroom gets to see these things during trial, what do we need them for?

Six episodes with Richard Bay (Jason Kravits) down; only 25 more to go!

4.7 “Victimless Crimes”

Interesting episode title, considering the two cases of the week were Jimmy defending a woman accused of murdering her rapist, and Bobby defending his cousin, a dentist who bit Lucy on the breast while she was anesthetized.

Jimmy’s court-ordered client was interesting, a woman not seeking sympathy or empathy from anyone. I’m sorry for her that she was made to feel alone and defenseless, and I’m even sorrier that there isn’t just a card stamped “Not Guilty” handed out to everyone who murders their rapist. Most of all, I’m sorry that she got a guilty verdict. Some guy decides to violently rape her, and she’s the one going to prison?

If that’s not strange enough (albeit too common), Bobby actually went to bat for his cousin, a pervert who took advantage of his patients while they were in his office seeking treatment. I was happy when Lucy resigned (sad when she came back), but also found myself proud of her for standing up to Bobby — an employee should never be put in that type of a position by her boss. Nice try asking for partner on your return.

4.8 “Committed”

This episode continued the back-and-forth between Lindsay still recovering from her stabbing and being all of the way back. A court-ordered client, a serial killer who’d been a patient at a mental hospital for twenty years, caused Lindsay to relive some of her experience with George Vogelman. But I really dislike the forced nature of these emotions. There’s a total lack of fluidity to something that should either be there or not be there. It’s almost as if the writers throw it at Lindsay when they can’t think of anything else for her to do.

A strange secondary case involving a dead man in Eugene’s ex-wife Sharon’s bed, their son Kendall the prime suspect. Can you really say she’s stepping out on Eugene when they are no longer married? At the same time, what ever happened to the seeming reconciliation that was going on between them a few episodes back?

And this Richard Bay guy is a real piece of work. He has a huge chip on his shoulder, for God knows what reason because he came onto the series with it, and all he can do is bark at the attorneys from Donnell and Associates. Someone should kill him and leave him in Sharon’s bed … the way he acts, Eugene wouldn’t even be near the top of the list of suspects (although Ellenor might be).

4.9 “Bay of Pigs”

I really think Richard is a serial killer in the making. I’m not sure why he carries around all of the anger that he does, or where it stems from, but he’s going to blow with a serrated knife at the necks of a bunch of old ladies.

And yet Helen agreed, albeit reluctantly, to go out on a date with him. And she kissed him. And then gave him a kissing tutorial the following day. I suppose she really will sleep with anything. Please tell me things aren’t heading towards a real relationship between these two.

Jimmy’s case of the ex-girlfriend who sold her eggs to pay the rent and was suing a customer for failure to pay was … well, how that resulted in his breaking up with Judge Kittleson I’m not quite sure. But she did see Jimmy and his old flame/client together. Are all the clues we’ve gotten that point to Kittleson being a crazy stalker ever going to pay off?

4.10 “Day in Court”

Eddie Wicks (Mark Sheppard), a drug dealer who was one of Bobby’s first clients, stands trial for murder. I wasn’t sure what was better: his claiming self-defense after stabbing someone seven times, or his calling Eugene “Genie” (I’m leaning toward the latter). I’m getting tired of Bobby and his partners looking down on everyone they defend these days. Why not move into white collar crime if you can’t stomach the riffraff?

It was about time for Helen to completely lose it during a case, which came sometime after Eddie physically attacked her in open court. She’s so bad as a lawyer, it’s just surprising that her breakdown didn’t come sooner. At least it’s nice to know that if Donnell and Associates is up against Helen, they’re going to win.

Still want to bring her on as a partner, Lindsay?

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Now that I’m really getting into V, I thought I’d honor the Visitors’ leader, Anna (played with reptilian grace by Morena Baccarin), by putting together a list of TV’s memorable alien villainesses, whose insidious forces have infiltrated, assimilated, assaulted, insulted, and generally picked on the human race.

Number Six (Battlestar Galactica, reimagined series) — Technically, she’s not the sole leader of the Cylons, nor is she necessarily evil, but from the moment she arrived on that remote space station at the beginning of the miniseries, dressed in her trademark fire-engine red, she became the face of the Cylons. Less than an hour into the series, Six seduces Gaius Baltar, snaps a baby’s neck, and facilitates the destruction of the Twelve Colonies — more than earning her Evil merit badge.

Borg Queen (Star Trek: Voyager) — I remember the Borg Queen primarily from Star Trek: First Contact, but the Borg Queen also appears in a few episodes of Voyager, including the series finale. Like many alien collectives, the Borg seems to be based on an insect hive; thus, they have a Queen Bee, who euphemistically describes her role as “bringing order to chaos.” Just remember, resistance is futile. She will bring order to your chaos whether you like your chaos or not.

Wraith Queen (Stargate Atlantis) — Yes, there are several Wraith queens that John Sheppard’s team encounter over the five seasons of Atlantis, but they are all played by the same actress, Andee Frizzell, with vicious aplomb. The Wraith are another alien species that have a hive hierarchy, but they are quite unlike the Borg. A Wraith queen’s motto is “Why assimilate them when you can eat them?”

The Founder (Star Trek: Deep Space 9) — She’s also known as the Female Changeling, and she leads the forces of the Dominion against the Federation in an attempt to take over the entire Alpha Quadrant. She is ageless and incredibly patient. She can also shapeshift into almost any form, so it’s strange that she chooses to look like Play-doh, even when she is not with her fellow changeling Odo (whose face looks like Play-doh because he is not skilled at shapeshifting). Personally, I think her choice reflects her contempt for “the Solids,” which is what she calls non-liquid people.

Commandant Grayza (Farscape) — An ambitious Peacekeeper leader, Grayza has a nifty weapon, a gland that secretes an oil that bends men to her will. This weapon, along with some manipulation and plenty of shouting, has kept her in command despite the fact that anyone could probably take her in a fight. Grayza manages to oust Scorpius as John Crichton’s number one enemy after subjecting him to her own unique methods of, um, interrogation. You know that made him mad; after setting off a weapon that could destroy the universe, John shouts an unforgettable line for all to hear: “Can I get a huzzah from the grand Peacekeeper Bitch!”

Some other memorable bad girls include Farscape’s War Minister Ahkna (played by Ben Browder’s wife, Francesca Buller), Adria (another Morena Baccarin character) of Stargate SG-1, and any number of Romulan commanders from Star Trek, beginning with the one who tried to seduce Spock in “The Enterprise Incident.”

I’ve probably neglected to mention some great characters. Who are your favorites? Let me know in the comments.

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And yet last night’s episode of Criminal Minds was an interesting development in the story of Hotch and The Reaper. It was a bit subtle, and I wouldn’t be surprised if people missed it, but I thought it was a strong move by the show to have The Reaper insinuate himself into an investigation into the current serial killer, at least enough to lead Hotch and Prentiss to spend all of their time tracking down a potential lead that never was.

This episode reached back in time to three cases that live in the annals of Criminal Minds history. The first is clearly that of The Reaper, an ongoing investigation that for now has forced Hotch out of the drivers seat at the BAU. The second was a throwback to season one of the show, and the case of “The Fox,” also known as Karl Arnold, the killer that Hotch and Prentiss went to visit in prison. Arnold was pertinent to the investigation both as a result of his own crimes, as well as because it seemed that the current killer was sending him communications through the mail.

The third is one that occurred to me, but that wasn’t referenced at all last night. That was the season three episode “Damaged,” the one where Rossi is chasing his demons, trying to put an old case of his, and its ghosts, to rest. The episode also found Hotch and Reid interviewing a serial killer who’d long been a case study for the BAU. If I remember correctly, the unique machinations of his mind were useful in the investigation that Rossi was heading up elsewhere.

I was brought back to that episode for a number of reasons. First, because I find it extremely interesting whenever we see our BAU team actually studying the mind of a killer. As opposed to trying to get inside their head from afar, as they generally must, these interviews allow our team of profilers to actively troll the twisted world-view that these killers use as a prism for filtering their interactions with the rest of us. It’s how profilers build their vast stores of knowledge, but it also makes for some thought-provoking, instead of the traditionally gruesome, viewing.

Second, because I wonder why Reid didn’t go with Hotch in this case. Yes, I know that Hotch had a reason for bringing Prentiss, and this isn’t to take away from her abilities as a profiler. But Reid is Reid, unmatched in this field as far as we can tell, and his unique perspective on the workings of the mind, culled both from his own hyper-genius as well as his mother’s mental illness, make him the most intuitive interviewer that the BAU has to offer. The fact that he’s afraid to go certain places, as evidenced by that interview back in season three, makes him all the more interesting. But alas, it was not to be.

But back to The Reaper. While it was a bit of a stretch, I enjoyed how, after weeks of his being out-of-sight, out-of-mind, The Reaper got some face-time with Hotch again, albeit through a third-party. He knew that Hotch would come running if he created the illusion that the current killer was communicating with one that the BAU had stopped. And he knew exactly who to match the killer with, to make it plausible that they’d have adoration for the old-timer. I’m not sure exactly what the message was, beyond “Remember me?” but it was a nice twist in the fabric of that plot, one that will continue to see activity in the weeks ahead.

I just hope Hotch makes sure to bring Reid with him next time in order to help read the signs.

FYI: The writer’s of Criminal Minds have nominated their top 16 unsubs of all time. See Wil Wheaton’s Floyd Hansen among the best, and vote for your favorite now!

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This is what comedy is all about. A typical, everyday situation that snowballs into a series of events that just leaves you shaking your head and laughing.

In the case of last night’s episode of The Middle, that situation was garbage day, an event that only occurs once every two weeks in the Hecks’ part of Indiana. The garbage truck is heard rumbling along a block away, waking the entire family and kicking their cleanup efforts into high gear. Frankie tosses a beer bottle towards someone, and it hits Brick in the arm. And then “Mom hit me with a beer bottle” brings in the social workers.

I love that Brick is currently residing under the kitchen table, and that no one noticed it for a month. His character is so richly quirky, quite easily one of the best characters of the 2009-2010 television season. Unlike on many other shows, he really is experiencing life from the vantage point at which he observes it. And he’s uncomplicated and straightforward, two traits that make it easy for him to innocently cause life to go awry.

The way he wrapped up that non-scratch, utilizing everything he could find in the first-aid kit was funny. But funnier still was the reaction of the hall monitor, and then the school, bringing the police and social services into the equation. While abuse in the home is certainly no laughing matter, in this case it was mined for just the right amount of humor.

Enter the social worker. Frankie scrambling to prepare her house, and her family, was to be expected. But the individual interviews that each Heck was subjected to were priceless. Frankie laughing in that uncomfortable, nervous way of Patricia Heaton’s; Mike contradicting each of her answers in three words or less; Sue nervously asking if “that’s the right answer” every time she addressed a question; and Axl … well, Axl interviewing the social worker about foster family options was really funny.

I only wish that we’d been allowed to peek inside of Brick’s interview. Can you imagine how hysterical that kid must have been? I can’t even begin to hypothesize on what that conversation may have sounded, or looked like, save to guess that it involved a lot of show-and-tell on Brick’s part around his and Axl’s bedroom. And, actually, it would have been really great had he taken her inside of his “room” under the table, a situation that would certainly have led to some tough explanations on Frankie’s and Mike’s parts. But I guess we just have to give our imaginations some exercise if we want to envision that scene.

The non-family “B” plot was something I’m not sure I was so into. I guess people have been really enjoying the group over at the car lot, enough that Mr. Ehlert (Brian Doyle-Murray) and Bob (Chris Kattan) were given their own story this week. Ehlert is amusing enough, and I’m definitely getting more onboard with Bob, but their own plot? I don’t know. Yes, the clearly racist commercial from the 1970s was amusing, but I probably could have done without all of the cuts to the new ad they were shooting — losing that may have allowed us to watch Brick’s interview.

But, with or without them, this was definitely another strong outing from The Middle.

“You know all those times you wished someone would come and take your kids away? Well, the reality isn’t really as great as the fantasy.” – Frankie

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Earlier this post didn’t have the final hidden alien hint pictured above. Now it does. What are you waiting for? Go enter one final time!

Leave it to Parker, Stone and the rest of the South Park team to find a way to blatantly compare the growing number of minorities in the United States with the amount of pee in a pool. Clever and completely offensive, but did you really expect anything less from these guys?

As soon as the boys started confessing that all but Kyle peed in the pool, I knew where the episode was going: the water was just about all pee. But hey, technically pee is made up of mostly water … not that that makes it any less gross. Who knew that the acceptable pee level in pool water was 83% in water parks?

I laughed out loud a few times and thought this was a pretty decent episode for a finale. And now, I leave you with some lyrics:

Too Many Minorities At My Water Park

What has happened to this place
I don’t recognize it anymore
It used to be so fun and special
What is life worth living for

The dream is dead
Our land is gone
There’s a hole in my heart
And I can’t go on

There are too many minorities (minorities)
At my water park (my water park)
This was our land, our dream (our dream)
and they’ve taken it all away

They just keep coming and coming (minorities)
I tried to go and tell the police
But even the authorities
Are minorities (are minorities)
At my water park

There’s no place for me to sit anymore
And the lines just keep getting crazier
There are Mexicans all around me
The lazy river has never been lazier

It’s a 40 minute wait to go down one slide
And the instructions are in Spanish on the Zip Line ride (just do it in English!)

There are too many minorities (too many)
At my water park (somebody do something)
Where did they all come from
Why can’t they leave this land alone

And it’s such a tragedy (feel a bit like dying)
We looked the other way too long
We’ve got to change our priorities
And get all these minorities
Out of my water park

(Minorities) Mexicans and Asians
Black people
I think I even saw Native Americans (gross)

God I’m asking please
Get all of these minorities
Out of my water park (my water park)

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I don’t know about you, but I totally related to Modern Family’s story lines tonight. OK, maybe not the baby killer one (we only had an acquaintance threaten to feed little Owen to the lions — not a good friend), but the other two? Oh yes.

I have fond yet annoying memories of my male friends coming over in my high school and home-for-the-holiday college years and not making it out of my father’s Mantown basement lair. You know I’m talking to you, Vinnie and Steffan — you came to pick me up and take me to a party, yet you spent all night playing pool, darts and computer games. This, my post-reading friends, happened on more than one occasion.

The anniversary gift fiasco, I must say, did strike a chord with me as well. You know, it’s their fault — if they would just cash in the coupons, they’d be a really good gift. Men. I’m off to shine my sapphire ring now. I know Keith is about to cash in that coupon for a free back massage anytime, but man, it’s like waiting for a slap bet.

Any teenager of the ’80s can relate to Spandau Ballet and the perfect lameness that was portrayed in tonight’s episode of Modern Family. Ed Norton, you rock, and I definitely don’t mean literally.

Back to the baby killer a moment … even though it may not be to the extreme, us couples with-child all have friends without, and it does make it harder to stay the same type of friends that you were. Um, sorry, we can go to dinner at 5:30 but we’ve got to be home by 8:00 latest to put Owen to bed, since he won’t fall asleep for anyone but us.

Now either you’re all pooling your collective funds to get me — or Owen — some really good therapy, or you’re laughing right along with me at Modern Family’s superb episode tonight. Which story line hit home for you the most?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

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It’s that time again: time for another episode of Glee! This week, the group is doing ballads, and Will fills in for a sick student. Is it just me, or does Will really seem like he wants to be back in high school? Of course, with a wife like Terri, I certainly can’t blame him for wanting to indulge in a little escapism. Speaking of which, wasn’t last week’s episode nice without all the fake pregnancy nonsense? It would be peachy if that could continue this week.

Join us at 9 PM EST to see what happens!

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Brace yourselves, because I’m about to get extra-nostalgic. I remember stumbling out of the theater one afternoon in September of 2004, feeling more excited and wired than I thought humanly possible, not because I had just went to my first rated R movie, but because every part of Shaun of the Dead still rattled in my brain. In the ensuing days, I had to learn everything I could about the creative team behind the film, and one of the things that kept popping up in my endless research was a British comedy called Spaced. Mind you, this was in the age before YouTube, so it’s not like I could just hop online and check out a clip.

For the purposes of this post, I delved back into my high school blog and I see that I made a point of celebrating that Trio had decided to start airing Spaced in conjunction with Shaun’s release. I also see that past-me was so goddamn hooked on Spaced that, two episodes in, she (I?) had already got it in her head to buy the DVD box set. And a region-free player to play said DVD box set.

Needless to say, I really freaking love Spaced. And I want you to love it too.

Spaced was a sitcom that aired on Channel 4 for fourteen episodes over two seasons (1999, 2001). It was written by Jessica Stevenson (now Hynes) and Simon Pegg (now still Pegg), who also starred as Daisy, a struggling journalist, and Tim, a struggling graphic artist. They were strangers that sympathized with each other’s kind of, sort of homeless situation and, after finding a dream flat that advertised to “professional couples only” they decided to fake it and move in together. Hilarity and a bunch of weird stuff ensued.

Hynes went on to do more films and become the ideal dorky girl for geeks everywhere (she’s made out with Ten in Doctor Who, so major bonus points right there), and Pegg made the jump to the big screen, co-writing and starring in Shaun of the Dead and, later, Hot Fuzz. Both of these films co-starred Nick Frost, who also played Pegg’s best friend in Spaced. Pegg and Frost are now working on Greg Mottola’s Paul.

The sitcom was as directed by Edgar Wright, who only had a few other credits to his name at the time. Wright directed and co-write Shaun and Hot Fuzz and is currently in the editing stage of his next directorial venture, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (which, if Wright’s daily photo blog has been any indication, is going to be deliciously insane).

The show itself was notable for its commentary on the life of almost-30s and non-stop pop culture references (a helpful feature on the DVD was the Homage-O-Meter, which displayed captions identifying references as they happened). Despite the fact that some of the references were pretty dated by the time I watched the show (my frustrations toward Phantom Menace had faded for the most part) and I was way too young to relate to that “time to grow up” late-20s panic, there was something about the show that really resonated with me. Maybe it was the snappy dialogue or maybe it was character chemistry; whatever it was, it clicked. It was different from the American sitcoms that I was used to; it was daring, in that it felt like the creative minds weren’t putting on a show for the audience as much as they were making a piece of art that they knew they would be proud of.

And visually, the show was unlike anything I had ever experienced on television. It was obvious where a lot of Shaun’s quick pans and energetic cinematography got its legs. Wright shared a very surreal and highly cinematic view with Spaced, and it showed a lot of promise, like Wright had yet to land a budget that would be enough to catch up with what he had envisioned in his head.

I’m actually having a great amount of difficulty forming into words how much I love this show (it’s part of my top three, nudging the original UK version of The Office right in its rear). So, here are some bullets to simulate real-life conversational listings. Pretend I’m wildly gesticulating as I’m half-shouting these to you.

• Tim’s ravin’ friend Tyres. Sweet Christ, Tyres was amazing. I would abandon my overall misanthropy and anti-party attitude to go to a rave with Tyres for one night. After seeing the show, I also took to dancing in public whenever there was an incidental beat. I was deemed a weirdo.
• Fine art vs. Illustration. Maybe I’m a little biased because I happen to be a visual artist too, but I really appreciated the inclusion of different kinds of artists in this show. There was the painterly Brian, the comic book-crazy Tim, and the whatever-the-hell Vulva. My favorite part was how no one really seemed to “get” what they really did (”So… watercolors?”), which rings true in the lives of young artists everywhere. Struggling creatives! Always hilarious.
• An argument between Tim and Daisy cut around a Tekken 2 clip. Enough said.
• Mark Heap’s performance as Brian. Mr. Heap never fails to amaze and amuse me. It’s a delicate combination of well-tuned physical comedy and distinct voice work. Take a look at his work on Spaced and then consider his portray of Dr. Alan Statham on Green Wing. Truly incredible.
• Tim/Mike. As much as I loved Tim and Daisy as a pairing, I though Tim and Mike were kind of perfect together too. There was that strange, vaguely homoerotic tension between the two best friends that always made for hilarious and accidentally tender moments. Pegg and Frost have spectacular chemistry, and it’s really a gift to the world that they took that to the big screen.
• The soundtrack, heavy on the electronica and remixed versions of “Peter and the Wolf”. It all worked out to be a beautiful voice for the show. Hell, I still pump up the Fantastic Plastic Machine song on the rare occasion I get to do a celebratory walk down the street.
• Fake gun fights being part of an unspoken connection between men. I have seen this tested in real life. It’s completely true.
• Peter Serafinowicz as Tim’s nemesis. Serafinowicz is a funny man in his own right (also the voice of Darth Maul), and he made an amazing villain and classic super-douche.
• Lines like “Oh yah! I ha’n't fought o’ dat!” and anything Bill Bailey says. Forever quotable.

Years after Spaced wrapped up, and after Shaun and Hot Fuzz became  hits in the States and developed more than just a cult following, Spaced was finally released on Region 1 DVD.  The set was pretty much like the UK box set, which I bought oh-so long ago, but it included commentary from various famous American fans of the show, including Bill Hader and Patton Oswalt (who happens to have a wicked crush on Hynes).

Revisiting the series, I see that the first season/series had the strongest voice. It was fresh and exciting, and then it kind of tried too hard with the next season, like its self-awareness worked against itself. That is not to say it wasn’t excellent television, because it was, but I guess they set the bar really high with the first season. There was no Christmas special or anything of the sort to put a cap on the show’s ending. It was just a beautifully executed season finale that tied up all the loose ends that needed to be addressed and left other matters open for viewers to suss out for themselves. Well, there was a brief moment in that DVD extra documentary that shared what happens to Tim and Daisy, but I won’t ruin it….

And finally, Spaced was the reason why I sought out Jaffa Cakes, with which I have since developed a filthy junk food love affair.

Give the show a try. After two or three episodes, if it still feels like it’s not for you, then it’s probably a lost cause, but if any part of it resonates with you, I guarantee you’ll fall in love soon enough.

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Now this made for an interesting turn of events, didn’t it? Or at least some food for thought. Out of nowhere, we, and Alicia, were hit over the head with the possibility that Peter was on his way home on bail. Thus the episode’s title, “Unprepared.”

I’ll tell you something, folks: I feel a little bit of anger towards Alicia for being so compliant in this entire situation. I’m not saying that, ultimately, she should have acted any differently than she did. But doesn’t it surprise you too to constantly find her just going along, without voicing what she’s thinking or feeling? I feel like a ridiculously tough backbone is sitting right there beneath her surface … for the life of me, I can’t figure out why she doesn’t use it.

I suppose it’s reasonable that she chooses not to discuss the matter with her kids. Although, I think they’re old enough to have strong opinions, one way or the other, about the situation at hand. And clearly they do. Grace seemed hesitant to allow Peter back into the house; I wasn’t sure if that was because she’s trying to protect Alicia, or herself. Zach, on the other hand, has suddenly become gung-ho about dad. I know he believes that everything’s a set-up, but am I mistaken in remembering that, not too long ago, he was pissed at him for what he did?

Actually, to digress for a moment, whereas last week I was onboard with Zach’s investigation of all of the mysterious things that keep on popping up on the Florrick’s doorstep, I’m no longer of that mind. Beside the fact that, technology aside, he’s very limited in what he can do, I also think he’s crossed that line into “crazy” territory. Let’s assume for a moment that the allegations of corruption are indeed someone’s grand scheme to do something to Peter … he admitted to the drugs and sex. Even if a picture here or there has been doctored, he admitted to it! Love him, enjoy your visits with him once he’s out of prison, but don’t pretend that he hasn’t violated the sanctity of his marriage and his family by enthusiastically suggesting that he should return home if freed on bail. And keeping Alicia in the dark isn’t just dangerous, it’s a violation as well.

But back to our topic of conversation. Why is it that Alicia never once said last night, in private, to her husband, “I’m happy that the appeal is moving forward, and that you may be able to get out of prison on bail. However, considering the situation, I think it would be best if you didn’t return home while we sorted things out.”? I just don’t get it. On the stand she could be as supportive as Peter needs — and by the way, Your Honor, whether they plan to share a bed goes directly to the question of bail here — but in private? Be the strong person that is at the center of this entire series!

And besides, Alicia seems completely distrustful of everything involving Peter. How can she not question the validity of their marital vows, and the bonds that tie them? She is being the “good wife,” but is that the right move for herself and her children? Was Silda Wall Spitzer right and Dina Matos McGreevey wrong (not that she had much of a choice, but still)?

I guess it all depends on your interpretation of the title of this series. I see it as summarizing the tale of a woman who must continue on after her life has fallen apart. But maybe it’s more about sticking with the life that’s fallen apart, and trying to rebuild it.

But, to be honest, I doubt that that’s the case. If it were, why would they cast a powerhouse like Julianna Margulies in this role? Something’s definitely coming, and soon, and maybe this episode was exactly what Alicia needed to propel her into telling Peter exactly what she’s thinking. Then we’ll really see the good wife soar.

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Each week, I slave over a hot laptop to bring Medium fans news, promos, and other goodies associated with the show. These are some of the highlights from the past week at Medium Dreams. Enjoy!

• Here’s the promo for this week’s episode, called “The Future’s so Bright.” In it, Allison has to wear shades. Get it??? In any case, she sees numbers on people’s heads that correspond with the number of days they have left to live. Lee has a “1″ on his head! Ack!
• As long as we’re talking about promos for this week’s episode, here are the promo photos!
• CBS has been interviewing the real Allison DuBois, and in this video, she and Medium Executive Producer Glenn Gordon Caron talk about the origins of the series.
• As Brett can attest to, I was super-excited to hear a Paula Abdul song during a key scene in last week’s episode. Here’s the song, in case you were one of the viewers who was wondering what it was. The video co-stars Keanu Reeves!
• Once again, it’s my favorite part: Dueling reviews! Here’s Brett’s take on last week’s episode, “Once in a Lifetime,” and here’s mine. We were both caught off-guard by all of the twists.

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