Closed Captioning Hates You

Closed Captioning Hates Joy Bauer

Thu, 03 May 2012 09:17:40 -0400

I’m a little late on this one, but here’s Joy Bauer sharing one of her famous diet tips.

Wait, where’s the problem?

The advice Joy intended to give was to have a bag of tricks, meaning pieces of paper with activities written on them like “take a 10-minute walk” or “go talk to a friend”. The idea is any time you feel a craving for an unhealthy snack, you reach into the bag of tricks and do whatever the paper says instead. Good advice, but hard-of-hearing viewers thought she was telling them to keep munching on those Barbecue Lay’s.

Closed Captioning Hates Lynn Berry

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 16:42:00 -0400

Lynn Berry, anchor of NBC’s Early Today, was not spared the wrath of the closed captioning demon this morning. While most early risers got to watch Lynn deliver the news with her usual professionalism, hard-of-hearing viewers (and people still in the bar at 4am) were treated to this:

This was supposed to be a report about Taylor Swift playing Joni Mitchell (spelled “Joanie” by the captioner) in an upcoming biopic.

I don’t know if Taylor Swift employs anyone named Bub, but she certainly is bubbly.

I checked, and the Mauritius Broadcasting Corporation does not air Early Today.

I don’t even have a joke for this one. This should say “diplomat.”

Closed Captioning Hates Jenna Wolfe

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 15:32:35 -0400

Jenna was interviewing John Schanz on the Today Show about Comcast Cares Day, a Comcast-sponsored day of community service in Philadelphia.