~Clothesline Alley~

Just Wanted to Say Hi

2009-12-18T21:43:00.001-05:00

Since I ended the Clothesline this past summer, I have been humbled to receive numerous emails from dear readers asking how our post-deployment adjustment is going and wondering about Miss Peapod. In recent weeks many longtime readers have inquired to see if I might post a family update here on the blog, so here I am, taking a time out from the business of this beautiful Advent season, to type away on this blog once again. :o)

The post-deployment adjustment was thankfully much easier than we thought it would be and a pleasant surprise after a year with many twists and turns. Peapod's enthusiasm for Daddy being home certainly didn't wane after the first weeks together and she is quite the Daddy's girl now. This fall has been marked with many happy celebrations together as a family, catching up on everything that was missed during my husband's year away, and enjoying many adventures together with a little girl who is not so little anymore.

Early last month Peapod celebrated her third birthday with a hummingbird cake, a banging wall, and a few special wooden toys. I'm amazed to see just how quickly she has grown, especially in recent months. All of a sudden she has just began to explode with new words, questions about the world, and so many thoughts to share. We have also discovered that our little one has quite the affinity for music and have been nurturing her curiosities with music lessons and a special trip to the Nutcracker ballet tomorrow afternoon. Peapod and I have also began venturing into phonics learning in her "homeschool lite" studies and she is enjoying her new found knowledge about words, letters, and all things books.

We have also been extremely blessed to meet several of my local blogging buddies, making them and their families not only e-friends but real life friends as well. Many laughs, yummy meals, and fun playtime have been shared between our families and what a delightful blessing this has been!

Several people have asked if I might ever return to blogging here at the Clothesline, and while I will not rule that out for good, this probably will not be a happening in the near future as I simply do not have the time to devote to this blog in the current season of life my family is in. Maybe in the future this blog might be revived, but for at least the next few months we are going to busy, busy, busy with a PCS move for our family and an exciting Army training course for my husband.

I hope all of you dear friends are well and enjoying the holiday season with your precious families. Many happy Christmas/Hanukkah/Whatever You Celebrate wishes from my family and may the Lord bless you richly in the coming year!

~Much Love~

Amy

All Good Things Must Come to an End

2009-08-19T21:06:00.004-04:00

Dearest Readers,

Like the snake sheds it skin and the baby bird spreads it wings, to soar high up in the sky, it's time for me to do the same with my blog, at least for a season. After two and a half years of sharing my thoughts at this blog, I realize it is now the time to leave this writing behind, as a satisfactory ending to a chapter in my life has been reached, with my husband's safe return home. As I type surrounded by moving boxes, a few weeks shy of beginning life somewhere fresh again, I realize how much I've changed since I began my blog, since Peapod has grown from a four month old baby to a little girl who is about to turn three, since he deployed again, and I know when I think of a portion of my readership, we're no longer on the same page as we once were.

As my proverbial wings have spread, new conclusions about my life have been made, different choices for our future have resulted, and mistakes have been corrected thanks to the slap in the face that only experience can bring about. As I've attempted to share my evolving thoughts on my blog, I've come to the harsh realization that my growth may not be welcome in the section of the blogsphere that has been my home, that I am perhaps becoming too different from a portion of my readers--or at least those who choose to share their thoughts and express their offense at what I share. Hurting people and causing discord is the very last thing I seek to do with my blog. As I wish no ill will towards anybody who has expressed their dismay, upset, or offense with me, my life choices, or my writing, nor do I want to waste precious time--mine or theirs--overcoming issues that just aren't that important in the grand scheme of life, the most graceful route to take has clearly become leaving the Clothesline behind as I leave the southern heat and humidity. Heat isn't something I much enjoy, what can I say. :P

I've also been wrestling with just how much to share, out of respect for Peapod, concern for the safety and privacy of my family, and out of my deep appreciation for the principles of OPSEC. I'm sure 99% of those who take peeks into my life would never do me or my family harm, but as the anonymous comments have turned nastier and sometimes outright evil, I can't help but feel my fear grow. Sometimes I've shared more than I should have and with increased frequency, I'm being asked to share more than I am comfortable through emails that come to my inbox but to which replies are never sent. I thought perhaps no longer posting pictures of Peapod would be enough of a boundary to ease my feelings but this has not been so.

I also can't help but wonder how offering such a fragmented glimpse into my life might bode if somebody ever googles me. ;o) Let's face it, the narrow focus my blog has can make me come across like quite a boring, one dimensional person. Oftentimes many people who know me in "real life" and read here chuckle to see the conclusions that are made about me, or to think of what could be thought about me, with a lack of perspective of everything I stand for, my sense of humor, and just who I am personality wise. I'd hate for this weird picture of me to bring about discomfort or embarrassment for my husband or Peapod one day, taking me to the "end the blog" conclusion that everything else has pointed to as well.

Penning this blog has been a fun experience, one that has stretched me much and forced me to open my eyes and question assumptions, convictions, and sacred cows I once held dear, much to the detriment of myself and others. I've developed friendships with many dear souls, several that have extended into real life even, and been touched by the kindness, generosity, love, and compassion of many, many, many more. I thank y'all for reading, offering your thoughts and being the proverbial iron that has helped sharpen me. To have so many strangers find something interesting in my writings, in my simple life, and in the ideas I have shared is truly humbling. Thank you to everybody for everything you have shared with me. What a blessing it has been to cross lives with all the interesting and beautiful people in Blog Land! May the Lord bless y'all richly and maybe we will "meet" again with a brief update, here and there. I have pondered perhaps an update or two every month, but have yet to decide if this idea will become a reality.

Before I close this post, I did want to extend an invitation to my private blog. I know many dear ladies have been following my blog almost since the beginning and an invitation to continue only seems proper. Sixty invitations are available still and I'd be happy to pass these along to those who have been longtime followers, especially those who have made themselves known to me through blog comments and emails. Even those with whom I've debate and had my brain picked by through email. hehe. Please feel free to either leave me a comment or email me clotheslinealleyATgmail(dot)com and let me know of your interest. :o)

~Much Love to Y'all~

Amy

ETA: All invitation spots have now been filled. Sadly, Blogger only allows 100 readers on a private blog, so I had to make do. :o( Thank you to each and everyone of you who has sent their kind words in the many, many emails I have received. I've read every message and sincerely appreciated each one.

Inside the Granola Mama Medicine Cabinent

2009-08-18T08:33:00.001-04:00

This post is a re-run from a guest post I wrote for my friend Shannon's blog earlier this year. Enjoy. :o)

Sickness and injuries are among the unpleasant issues that came crop up quickly and take us by surprise in life, no matter how much we may to prevent them. And as we all know, especially the parents among us, when a tummy bug erupts or an ear infection strikes, it will always be quickly, with a vengeance, and usually in the middle of the night. ;o) While we cannot prevent these little attacks, there are little ways to make a bout of illness much more pleasant for your family with a bit of planning ahead for the inevitable. For me this planning has encompassed many things: an icky sicky basket full of activities for my daughter should I be the one to be ill; provisions of health promoting food and nourishing liquids to help one's body best cope with illness; comfort measures in the form of hot water bottles & rice bags, and a medicine cabinet stocked full of herbal, homeopathic, and natural remedies galore, many of which can safely pair with allopathic counterparts, providing relief for poor bodies in the throes of discomfort.

Among the many remedies abounding in my medicine cabinet, there are a few standy-bys for the most common of ailments that I find myself turning to, again and again:

*Arnica- This is a homeopathic remedy, derived from the flowering plant of the same name. Available in dissolved tablets, topical oil, balm, gel, and tincture form, arnica is a wonderful treatment for bumps, bruises, and muscle injuries of all kinds. The sooner arnica is placed on the injured area, the better the results will be.

*Catnip Tea- As the daughter of cat lovers, the first time I heard of catnip being used for people, I couldn't help but giggle. The image in my head of tipsy cats rolling around in catnip toys just seemed to funny to give this herb medicinal value, but that value it does indeed have. Catnip tea can be used for the treatment of many ailments, but is especially useful for fever and teething discomfort. When my daughter was very small, I'd brew the tea and then freeze into ice cubes, to be rubbed on her puffy little gums. Once she was old enough to enjoy a cup of tea, I switched to serving this tea, lukewarm with a hint of sweet raw honey.

*Rescue Remedy- A blend of several much enjoyed flower essences, Rescue Remedy provides relief for the emotional traumas of life. When an injury, illness, or upsetting circumstance has left a child (or adult) in the throes of emotional upset, a dose of Rescue Remedy can help them calm down and best handle the upset they are feeling at the time.

*Rose Hip Syrup- This syrup boasts a higher dose of vitamin C than a freshly squeezed glass of orange juice and provides an astringent cleansing to a body trying to fight off infection. At the first sign of illness or immediately after possible exposure, rose hip syrup supplies a much needed boost of immunity to a system on the offensive. The syrup can be given as a cough syrup, stirred into tea, or drizzled over waffles or similar food.

*Slippery Elm Gruel- This highly nourishing food is an ideal meal during a bout of stomach upset. Slippery elm provides lubrication and comfort to a GI system in distress, as well as anti-nausea benefits, to help your precious one get on their way to healing very soon. This herb can also be consumed in tea form, providing rehydration and many important nutrients, to a sick person who may be dehydrated.

*Garlic Mullein Oil- This comforting oil is a must have in the medicine cabinet of every family with wee ones. Garlic Mullein Oil is a rich oil that provides a natural antibiotic effect to help prevent ear infections that may be developing or treat a minor infection that is already in existence. The oil is warmed in a cup full of warm oil and then a few drops placed in the ear of the suffering patient, providing almost immediate pain relief to the poor fiery ear.

*Elderberry Syrup- This rich honey sweetened syrup is to my medicine cabinet what Triaminic was to my Mom's. Elderberry syrup can be used to ease the discomfort of flus, colds, and other respiratory issues, while providing the immune system with a sorely needed boost of nutrients and antioxidants, allowing the body to best treat itself.

This list provides but a brief glimpse into the large world that is natural health care. I wholeheartedly encourage everybody to look into this topic a bit more and would love to recommend a few favorite books, for anybody who might be interested in becoming the best Doctor Mom they can be. :o)

Several books I recommend:

Laurel's Kitchen Caregiving
The Herbal Medicine-Maker's Handbook
Rosemary Gladstar's Family Herbal

Disclaimer: Please use caution with all of the remedies I have discussed, especially with small children or while pregnant and/or nursing. I am not a medical doctor or expert, but simply a mother with great interest in natural health care.

The Value of Family Meals

2009-08-15T06:19:00.000-04:00

I am a big proponent of the value of family meals. Around the table, we share far more than food and nourish far more than hungry tummies. Conversations broaden our minds. Taste buds become acquainted to strange new tastes. Lives are shared and history woven. Family culture is founded and grows. A poor soul might be nourished, loved and accepted by those who may not be family in name, but our family in faith and spirit. God is glorified, as we celebrate the rich bounty we have been blessed with, having "enough" in a world that is sadly not so giving to every dear soul. Much goes around the dinner table, regardless with whom we share the meal.

To me, time spent around the table is best done slowly and with the utmost of care and respect. Even when I've had to eat alone for a few days, weeks, or months here & there, I always was sure to sit down at the table with placemat and proper table settings and eat my meal. Perhaps a newspaper, book, or magazine would have been nearby, but respecting the routine of meal time, acknowledge this should be a nourishing experience and not a time to rush, has been a standard I've striven to uphold. I firmly believe doing so is important to a person's well being no matter what, but especially when they are living through a time in life where the punctuation of routine is particularly uplifting.

Even when it was just the two of us, Peapod and myself, during this past deployment year, we were sure to eat all three meals together every day; usually around the table, sometimes out on picnic blankets, and occasionally "camping dinners" under a tent blanket on the living room floor. Several days a week, we share meals with family and friends, and this is always such a treat. No matter who is joining us, or not, the table is set by Peapod, with placemats and the works. We light beeswax candles or enjoy some other centerpiece and try to make the meal the same special occasion it is when Daddy is home or guests shall be joining us. The special breakfast juice glasses come out every morning. The cloth napkins, ironed and scented faintly with homemade linen spray, are part of every meal. And 'mommy and me' placemats are a special way to celebrate the many meals that have been shared by just the two of us.

This simple act oftentimes seems so mundane, the significance of this routine buried under the general rush that is often life. Yes, nourishing our bodies is essential for life to be lived but so, too, is being sure the rest of us is nourished as well. Our spirits yearn for connection to our loved ones. They long to sing the praises of the One Who blessed us with the food we're eating, the roof over are heads, all else we have to be thankful to even when the storms of life might be rolling in. In times of trial, chaos, or general anxiety, the same ol, same ol of this mealtime rhythm can truly be an anchor in the dark and a light that helps you find your way. Meals aren't only about food on plates but roots firmly planted, growing deeper and stronger, as nourishment quenches our thirsts and eases our hungers, that growl about in our stomachs, souls, and spirits.

Picture Credit

Signs of the Amateur

2009-08-14T08:16:00.000-04:00

"On every level of life from housework to heights of prayer, in all judgments and efforts to get things done, hurry and impatience are sure signs of the amateur."
~Evelyn Underhill

Picture Credit

New Poll

2009-08-11T06:42:00.004-04:00

After recently watching a NOVA episode online, about the Dover, PA court case on intelligent design being taught in the public school classroom, I've found myself wondering what others believe about the origins of life on earth and the processes that have brought life to the point its at today. Considering I have a diverse readership, I've become quite curious about what y'all might believe on these matters. Two polls have been added to my sidebar on these subjects. One asking your beliefs on how life has developed here on earth, from creationism/ID alone, with all life having come about at the same time and originally in the form we observe life in today, from evolutionary theory without a creator, or from a mix of both, perhaps with an intelligent designer overseeing the process of natural selection. The second question is for believers in creationism/ID, inquiring about your beliefs on the age of the earth. Is the earth "young" at just 4000 years old or do you believe the age to be greater, and hence live on an "old" earth?

As with all polls here on the Clothesline, please feel free to elaborate on your thoughts on this post, if you feel so led.

A Treat To Beat The Heat

2009-08-10T15:09:00.000-04:00

For my birthday gift last year, Sean sent me a Cuisinart ice cream maker that has quickly become a favorite appliance in our kitchen as this nifty machines allows me the means to make an array of food allergy friendly frozen desserts. From simple vanilla ice cream paired with the ripest southern peaches to frozen fruit juices and sorbets, a little bit of everything frozen goodness has been enjoyed during the hottest days this summer. I recently decided to give homemade gelato a try and had opportunity to find a recipe for chocolate hazelnut gelato that is scrumptious and fairly easy to make. This ice cream can be enjoyed on its own in a bowl or sugar cone or can be part of a fancier dessert to follow a special dinner. A bit of gelato in a mug can be topped with some piping hot espresso, a bit of freshly whipped cream, and a garnish of biscotti. What a sweet treat to end a meal on balmy summer night!

Picture Credit

The Daddy-Daughter Reunion

2009-08-09T08:12:00.000-04:00

I'm taking a break from my post-deployment bliss to share the "airport story" for those of you who have been wondering how Peapod handled the big event. As you might recall, back during R&R in February, Peapod did not remember her Daddy right away and was confused for nearly a good hour before she finally warmed up to him. This time I am thrilled to report that she not only remembered him but took off running across the airport to jump into his arms. She even dropped her sign halfway through her run and hasn't left his side since. After all my anxiety about how the initial daddy-daughter reunion to go, this was a most welcome event.....and one that made my eyes tear up with happiness.

Today, much to Peapod's delight, we're heading off to her favorite park for a picnic lunch and to feed the "quack quacks". She's most enthused to have opportunity to show off her new found climbing, jumping, and swinging skills and even set out her outfit, all on her own, the night before. Words cannot adequately express the joy in my heart to once again share in person the mundane everyday bits of life with my husband. Believe it or not, there are blessings that come with deployments and better appreciation of your spouse, all they do, and what you share together, especially during the most normal of moments, is among the deployment lessons I am most thankful for. :o)

Homecoming At Last

2009-08-07T12:00:00.000-04:00

In just a few short hours, we are off to the airport to welcome Sean home. Peapod has been eagerly anticipating his arrival, adding to her welcome home banner every morning. So much creativity has been put into this banner that it is now dubbed not the welcome home sign, but the "everything but the kitchen sink sign". Pom-poms, sparkly stars, glitter glue, beeswax crayons, sequins, googly eyes, everything had a place on her sign. :P Peapod also helped to hang up streamers, decorate cupcakes, and even made her bed...all by herself...this morning, as we put the last minute touches on our clean house and pretty homecoming decorations.

I'm thrilled, nervous, hyper, and so much else right now. All my military wife friends know precisely what I mean, this odd assortment feelings that fly through your head, especially as the last hours draw near. So many questions, worries, hopes, and expectations. Will Peapod recognize her Daddy? Is she going to be scared or happy when she first sees him? Have I done a good enough job explaining that he's coming back? Does she understand? She's grown six inches since she last saw, on R&R earlier this year. She can jump now, sing, and talk talk talk and talk some more. She's not the same little girl he left last summer, not even close to the toddler he left after those two blissful weeks in February. As I said, a very strange mix of emotions mark every homecoming day. ;o)

Well, my friends, I am off to find some way to occupy my hyper self and excited little girl for the hours left before we head to the airport. I sincerely want to thank everybody again for the continued love and kindness that has been given to me and my family throughout this past year. Although I may not ever have an opportunity to meet all of the beautiful people who have blessed me so this year, this side of heaven anyway, please know that all the encouraging words, the prayers, the sweet thoughtful notes, and the other immense amounts of support that have been freely given have been cherished and have truly touched me. From the bottom of my heart I offer a warm thank you to each and every one of you who have been so kind and I pray the Lord might bless me to reach out to a stranger in the ways so many have done for me.

Preparing for a Handmade Holiday Season

2009-08-04T06:00:00.000-04:00

With a few year's worth of canning, sewing, knitting, embroidering, soapmaking, and other such activities under my belt, I've decided to issue myself a challenge for the numerous happy occasions and celebrations that will be on the calendar between now and the end of the year. Taking the amount of gifts necessary into consideration, this has been a project I've been working on with great joy throughout the balmy days of summer. Careful thought has been put into a special gift for each recipient on our list and several different handmade goodies have also made their way into our gift closet, in anticipation of hostess gifts, childrens' party gifts, and other such occasions that can arise at the last minute.

What can be found in my gift stash thus far:

Well, a few gifts I cannot share about, as the recipients read my blog. ;o)

*several cloth shopping bags, using McCall's pattern #M5898 and heirloom tomato printed fabric, with red & white polka dot lining

*an assortment of aprons, made using McCalls #5505 and a variety of veggie and fruit print fabric, all of which Peapod believes are apples. ;o)

*kitty cat pajamas for Peapod's upcoming third birthday, with McCalls #4283 & 5222 & race car and alien pjs for little boys on the list

*several sets of embroidered cloth napkins, with various designs chosen specifically with the recipient in mind, including the Eiffel tower, strawberries & tea cups, and a funky little alien set

*various custom scented soaps, including forest inspired soap-on-a-ropes for some of the men on the gift list. The soaps will all be given with a hand knit washcloth.

*preserves, preserves, and more perseveres. If you peek back into my recent archives you can see a brief peek into what I've been preserving, but in addition to this, several special batches have been made just with gift giving in mind. On this special shelf of my pantry you will find: preserves from the splendid book Mes Confitures, raspberry-orange zest jam, apricot sauternes jam, peach-rosemary jam, blueberry bay leaf jam, and fig preserves. All of these will be packed in thrifted gift baskets, several different varieties per basket, and will be given with challah or brioche, an embroidered tea towel, and some other goodies tucked into each basket. The fig preserves will be packed with a local artisan cheese for any recipient nearby enough to hand deliver to.

*knit fruit & veggies rattles for the teeny ones and crayon rolls (pattern found in Soule Mama's The Creative Family for toddlers and above.

*playsilks, crayon cookies, stuffed animals sewn out of wild patterned fabrics

*playdough sets in little tote bags, completed with some cookies cutters and tiny rolling pins, picked up on clearance last January.

For packaging our gifts:

*Peapod and I have been making wrapping paper from various recycled papers, including brown paper shopping bags. Stamps, paint, and glitter have turned boring paper into something more.

*Tote bags, decoupaged boxes, and drawstring bags are projects I have been working on, making for a second gift that can be reused, rather than paper to be discarded.

*Greeting cards for special occasions are handmade for Peapod. Last year, our family's holiday greetings featured tiny thumb print snowmen, courtesy of Peapod's little fingers. These cards were such a hit amongst our loved ones that we've been making greeting cards whenever the opportunity has arisen since. Some stationary sets for a few special people may be gifts from Miss Peapod this fall.

As you can see, this is a challenge I am not just looking forward to completing but am enjoying greatly along the way! :D

What handmade gifts are you planning on making for the fall and winter? What special treats have you given (or been given) in the past? What projects are being worked on in your sewing rooms and kitchen tables?

Picture Credit

In Defense of Young Marriage

2009-08-02T06:02:00.000-04:00

For any longtime readers, it's no secret that I was a bright eyed teenage bride, married shortly after the first election I could have been eligible to vote had passed. The day I married, I was too young to drink alcohol, barely old enough to buy a lotto ticket, and several years away from being eligible for an age related discount on auto insurance.

Most of my friends graduated from college and are now in grad school or testing their toes in the waters of the working world. Until this year, I was the only one who was married and only in recent months has somebody else joined me as a fellow mother. They've dated, traveled, and opted for experiences of the youthful twentysomething culture that I never stepped foot in as I was home nursing a baby, cooking meals, and working on my fledgling marriage with my husband instead. Now the bridal magazines are coming out and the fun dates are turning into a hunt/pursuit for something more for many of the women who were my schoolmates back not too long ago. Often we can't relate to each other anymore, especially when I must say no to attending a birthday party at a restaurant or when jokes are made about how early I go to bed now. This is not the end of the world, of course, just the reality of different choices that have taken us on different paths in this world and shaped greatly what is our realities today.

It's not uncommon for a friend of mine from high school to ask if I regret getting married young, to which I can truly answer a big resounding NO. I don't believe I "missed out" on anything, for I chose the life that I was praying for and working towards and am sincerely thankful for having had the opportunity to do so. I love having somebody in my life who is a static part of my life, not a date or boyfriend who might come & go. I can invest everything I have in him, in our child, in our life together. I know how he likes his coffee and he knows how I like my tea. I understand that he is an introvert and place a high value on the hobbies and diversions he needs to do to recharge, just as he understands why I adore spending time with others and can recharge from doing so in ways he can't. Because we know each other and have invested in each other, we can be partners in life in ways we couldn't be without a serious commitment, shared goals & dreams, and the deep mutual trust, respect, and bond that only comes with the serious commitment of a marriage covenant. For me, the decision was the right one for many different reasons, a few of which I am sharing more about below.

*Growing Up Together: Through the twists and turns of life and the challenging process that is learning to live with, love, and fully accept another fallen human being, flaws & all, Sean and I have "grown up together". We began this journey, over five years ago, naive and starry eyed, with no idea what the future might hold. My husband was freshly home from a tour in Baghdad during which he saw combat and many things one would never hope to experience. I barely had an opinion formulated on the war, based off intelligent reasons and sound information anyway, when I found myself arriving on Army Base USA, right to the human toll and the harsh reality of military life. This big jump into the ocean of adulthood was an intimidating one, but one that served me well, as I learned very quickly how to handle difficult emotions and grasp effective communication skills, especially when contact with your spouse is limited and stress runs high at the same time. We faced many other difficulties that showed us, clear as day, what is most important in life and had to make numerous sacrifices to help us launch ourselves into our marriage and adulthood on the best legs we could stand on.

*Investing In Our Lives: Our young ages have afforded us the opportunity to begin "investing" in our lives several years ahead of many of our peers. Rather than expend emotional energy getting to know several different men, only to wind up wasting time when relationships ended, everything I have had to offer has been for my husband only. I've only had to learn to accept his quirks, to appreciate his likes & dislikes, to understand his needs and communication style, and to give all of my heart to him. As a result of not being too "set in my ways", I do believe it's easier to not only accept my husband's quirks & idiosyncrasies but to appreciate them for making him the unique and special man he is. Learning to love my husband, to become one with him emotionally, and to build our marriage is work that has already seen us through tough times and will continue in the years to come. This lifelong commitment is the most important human relationship in our lives and the one that will serve as an anchor for not only us, but Peapod, as the years march on.

Thanks to our young marriage and the financial lessons we have learned, we have opportunity to have begin saving the financial reserve for our old age (or emergencies and unplanned events) now, rather than later, to appreciate the importance of making sound choices to provide security for Peapod and any other children we might be blessed with and to help others through the choices we have made as well. With wise financial practices, we hope & pray that this will allow us to enrich the lives of others, as many have done for us along the way.

We also have had opportunity to begin investing in the heritage we will one day pass onto our grandchildren, through being parents to Peapod and simply living life together. We're building memories to cherish and share when we get older and we're learning lessons together that have allowed us to make better choices for our future.

*A Fresh Outlook & Clean Slate: Youthful age afforded me no opportunity to have grown too selfish, set in my ways, or used to living all alone, leaving me having a difficult time adjusting to sharing a home and life with another person. When we set up housekeeping together, this was both of our first ventures into truly living "on our own" and we grew into this new way of living together, as husband and wife, rather than what could have been the opposite: several years living "on our own" before merging households with each other. This is not to say that this is without it's own issues, of course, but unlearning has never quite come as easily to me as learning the first time has. Sharing this first allowed us to build and develop many opinions and preferences together, which has been something I've enjoyed and hold dear.

Young marriage is not for everybody and this fact I can appreciate. I fully understand that I may very well be quite the oddball for having carefully considered opinions about parenting and the life I wanted by the time I met my husband in my teens. Not everybody has these, for not everybody is planning the same future I was hoping to have myself. Sometimes, though, it seems people believe a teenage bride such as myself, went into the arrangement of marriage foolishly and this is an assertion I finds considerably unfair, just as I find the opposite assumption, that a person who marries later simply did not want to be married until then & thus "deserves" their fate. Both could possibly be true, but neither is a fair stereotype on which to judge another person. I went into my marriage eyes wide open and knew very well what I could be facing....intellectually anyway.

I knew military life would be hard and would challenge our marriage in ways the civilian world would not. I knew that melding together two people from different cultural and racial backgrounds would add even more challenges to overcome. I knew my husband was a combat veteran and knew this would also add another dimension to the life we were seeking the build together. But I also knew I loved him dearly and was ready to make a lifelong commitment to him, to God, to our families, and to our community that would last to death does us part. Sean and I were both ready to roll up our sleeves and do the hard work necessary to make our marriage work, to get through the bad times, and to shelter our budding young marriage from the storms of life. And looking back five years and one sweet little girl later, we both know we made the right choice. :o)

Here's To A New Beginning

2009-07-29T13:13:00.000-04:00

My heart and mind are so full of giddy anticipation right now, knowing that my husband is safely in the United States, but a moment in time away from seeing us again. The sweet little candies in the countdown mason jar are dwindling. The days on the calendar are checked off. August's calendar page is soon to been uncovered, with its beautiful orange and black monarch butterfly, standing proud on a leaf with glorious open wings and my husband should heading down south to us in just a few more days. Part of me wants to declare that the end is here, but I know deep inside that this is only a beginning, a delightful new beginning with which I am looking forward to with much anticipation. The deployment chapter of life is at a close, at least for another year, and soon our family will be reunited again, with Daddy being more than the voice on the phone. Or a person who lives inside the cell phone, as Peapod seems to believe in recent weeks, despite much correction. :P

So many plans are being listed on sheets of paper, in hopes of somehow making up for the time we have missed. Yet I realize a "do over" is woefully not possible, just life flowing on, but somehow someway, I hope this makes it all "right" in an odd sort of way. Summer is being canned up into jars, to share with my beloved who has missed this part of the year with us. Dehydrating food and looking forward to the many delicious meals to come. Many recipes have been tested. A menu planned for my husband's soon-to-be-here, including his favorite dessert of peace pie, the filling awaiting on a pantry shelf right now. I'm eagerly anticipating sharing the pumpkin and apple picking with Sean and the spiciness of fall baking that will be upon us in a time that seems so short, after a year long deployment. A winter with snow, cocoa, and Daddy taking Peapod sledding are filling my head, as I sew the flannel pajamas for us all, for what will likely be a very frigid winter in our soon to be new locale.

Our dresses for his homecoming day have the finishing touches on them now and the yellow ribbons for Peapod's curly hair. There are streamers and paper chains on the kitchen table and paint drying on welcome home banner, all awaiting to be hung, ready to welcome home in proper fashion, the one we've missed so much. There is so much I am looking forward to, to share with him again. Tripping on combat boots. The extra laundry and dishes. Smelling the morning coffee again, as it's brewing in the french press, and the spices being crushed in the mortar and pestle, being added to his coffee to make it just right.

A deep voice will be heard again in the house that has been full of mostly soprano voices and three toothbrushes will call the holder home, in the master bathroom. There's musky aftershave gel and shaving cream to purchase again, razors and patchouli laced forest scented veggie soap to make their way into the bathroom again. The Economist and Scientific American will soon need to be shared again, so, too, with the Wall Street Journal, but that is a "sacrifice" well worth making, to have my beloved home again.

Words can't adequately express how I feel right now, with a heart so happy it's about to burst. It's hard to even focus on much else, as these last few days of separation wind down to an end. My husband will soon be mine again, perhaps only for a short year, but for now we'll be living life together in ways we couldn't this past year.

The Plane Has Landed...

2009-07-26T05:45:00.000-04:00

Guess whose feet touched U.S. soil once again this weekend? After three hundred and sixty four days of deployment time? Not that I was counting or anything.... ;o)

If you guessed Sean, you'd be correct. :D Nothing makes a feverish summer cold weekend better quite like that phone call!

He should be flying down South to see us sometime in the next two weeks and then we're headed West again, to our new duty station. Peapod & I are anxiously counting the "wake ups" until we see him again. This might only be single digit days from now!!!!

Now back to my sore throat warm lemonade sipping, welcome home banner painting, and trying to get better before the BIG exciting day arrives.

Planning 'Homeschool Lite' for Fall 2009

2009-07-21T11:49:00.000-04:00

With the "back to school" sales abounding in the weekly sales flyers already, my mind has began to wander to making our lesson plans for Peapod's 'homeschool lite" lessons this fall. In our "school" schedule for the last year-ish there has been time for arts & crafts, music & creative movement, story time & activities that tie in with certain books, and beginning science and nature study activities. With Peapod soon to be turning three, Sean and I have decided that it is time to add some basic math activities to the curriculum, as well as some beginning handwriting activities as Peapod adores writing the few letters she already knows, including her favorite letter, 'S'. Anybody who knows her first name knows why that's her favorite letter. ;o)

We use many different resources to plan learning activities for Peapod, including a few favorites below:

*Totline's Busy Bee Books-- This series features a book full of activities for twos and three for each season. The lessons are each on a different category and provide a learning activity, creative movement verse, snack idea, and craft project for each "topic" included. A few favorite topics have included hard & soft, bunnies, dirt, and rainbows. All of the topics and suggested activities are great starting points for brainstorming your own lesson plans and finding supplemental activities on each topic.

*MaryAnn Kohl's art books- These books are bursting full of fun art activities for little ones that help build problem solving skills, fuel creativity, and allow toddlers and preschoolers to explore art for the process, rather than focusing on the product, thus providing them with activities that inspire and fuel a love for exploring the world through visual and tactile means. Two of our favorite books by this lovely author are First Art and Scribble Art.

*Young At Art- This is wonderful informative book that provides not only a good selection of art activities and songs that relate to various art projects, but also explains in depth the numerous benefits of art & craft experiences with young children. From the introduction of colors and discussion of developmentally appropriate art exploration to the practical how-tos of early cutting activities and how to be most successful with these projects and others, this book covers all of the bases of art education for little ones. A wonderful read for any parent, regardless of if you intend to homeschool or not!

*Montessori Services- This catalog is a wonderful resource for purchasing the goods necessary for planning Montessori style practical life activities, as well as an inspiration for putting together your own activities, such as pounding playdough, pouring activities, and transferring. Child size furniture can also be purchased through Montessori services to craft a truly child friendly & accessible learning room.

*The School Box store- For my local friends, we have a fun resource in our backyard in the School Box where a wide selection of educational books, activities, toys, math manipulatives, science activities, and every other goody needed in an early childhood education classroom can be found. For everybody else, a quick google search should help you find your local teachers store. :o) I recently made the trip to The School Box to pick up various necessities for this fall's curriculum, including a geoboard, three bear family counters, a tornado tube, color paddles, and an assortment of other neat activities.

*Seasonal Celebrations- Several books have provided inspiration for seasonal crafts and celebrations around our home, including All Year Round, The Children's Year, and Mrs. Sharp's Traditions.

*Famous People Birthdays & Holidays- In addition to celebrating seasonal hobbies, I like to to plan activities that tie in with the birthday of a famous religious person, a scientist who has gifted the world with an important discovery, a great composer or author, a public figure whose work our family enjoys, and other such people throughout history. The library is oftentimes my go-to resource for help planning these activities, for here I can find age appropriate biographies to read with Peapod and sometimes even a "story time a go-go bag" to bring home that comes with pre-planned activities and books inside.

*Books, Books, Books- In our family, many learning experiences are also planned to go alongside favorite books. Before blueberry picking this year, we were sure to read "Blueberries for Sal" and there are numerous books on apples & pumpkins to go with picking the harvest this fall. Gardening books filled up our spring book basket, books about the importance of fathers were enjoyed in June, and so it goes throughout the year. Thanks to both our own book collection and the library, a book can be found for nearly any experience, including deployments and military life.

*The World As School- Along with pre-planned activities, I find that many times important opportunities present themselves without any planning at all. Peapod's introduction to geography came thanks to her Daddy's deployment and she can now reliably find several Middle Eastern countries on a map or globe, along with three states on the wall map we have of the United States. Many science experiences have come when we find a worm on the ground or something Peapod sees makes her ask 'why'. We once had opportunity to watch a spider spin her web for a good twenty minutes and we often come across different creatures while working in our garden. The possibilities for learning are truly endless, not just for children, but for allow us, if we simply look around and never tire of asking why and how.

This is just a peek into the resources we use for Peapod's 'homeschool lite'. Our classical music collection, her assortment of instruments, parks & rec classes & activities, museum & zoo trips, beautiful postcards and coffee tables books showcasing great artwork, and much more have also proven very enjoyable to our little one.....as have bamboo cooking spoons and pots & pans. ;o) With a the great zeal for life and love for learning Miss Peapod has, watching her wonder in this world never ceases to bring a smile to my face and great joy to my heart. What could possibly be more fun and precious than a sweet little child with such a curious spirit?! :D

What are some of your favorite learning resources? What are y'all planning for this fall's homeschooling? What were some activities you enjoyed when you had preschoolers?

Picture Credit

A Quick Hello

2009-07-19T07:15:00.001-04:00

I just wanted to check in with a quick hello as many of you sent emails asking if my week long absence was from what you thought, but I must report that my husband is not yet back in the United States. He does know an actual date, which he cannot share, but I can tell you he will be home by the end of this month. We're expecting him to fly down south to see us by the second week in August. :o) (There is a count up deployment ticker on the bottom of my blog, for those of you who would like to take a peek.)

In other news, all the summer happenings around here, have kept me a but too busy for blogging much at all, even if my computer weren't broken. My garden is starting to burst with tomatoes and we've been busy eating these yummy treats and canning them up in various forms to be enjoyed later this year. The bulk of my tomatoes are being preserved as herbed and seasoned tomatoes, half of which will be Italian and the other half Mexican, allowing for a great variety of meals to be made this fall & winter. Some fruit ketchup, made with peaches and tomatoes is also on the plans for this week, as are some pickled hot peppers for my husband's lunches. Peach pie filling should also be put up by this time next week, to join the pickles, relishes, and chutneys that I've been working on. With all of these cans upon cans of food, I really do feel bad for the poor movers who will be packing up my kitchen for the move next month. Movers probably cringe whenever they look into my kitchen. I know I did when I've packed everything myself....or when I unpack for that matter. :P

Hoping summer is treating y'all as well as it's treating us! To everybody who has emailed me lately, please know I have not forgotten about you and am hoping to respond to everybody by next weekend.

P.S. Any ideas for what to with an overabundance of zucchini? We've been enjoying this veggie in an assortment of dishes, from quick breads to souffles, as well as putting up relish, marmalade, and pickles with summer squashes as the star ingredient, but we need more ideas. Ahhhh!!! Help! Zucchini is taking over the world! ;o)

In Praise of Slow

2009-07-10T11:21:00.001-04:00

Oftentimes when people hear of my adventures sans car, I am questioned about the dreadful amount of time I must waste, relying on the bus or my feet instead of the car. It's true that driving the 1.5 miles to the library might whiz by in a mere minute in a car, but it also true that I wouldn't enjoy the journey. When I walk hand in hand with Peapod, hauling a backpack full of books on my back, we gain a bit more than the exercise from the journey. The fifteen minutes are spent amongst nature, with the wind hitting our face, where Peapod might see a dandelion that we stop to pick and blow the fuzzies all about. Several times we have even picked some wild blackberries on our walks or had opportunity to watch the wild deer eating from an apple tree. In a car these experiences would be ones we would whiz right past.

When we take the bus to a shopping center, to do some errands, picking up our craft supplies for the month, a special ingredient for a new recipe, or whatever the case may be, there inevitably winds up being some time spent doing nothing, so wasted time in the minds of many. But as this is part of our lives, I prepare and plan accordingly, knowing that I can't just hop on the bus whenever I am ready, as you could a car, but must wait for the next one to arrive. When it is warm, I bring a thin blanket and a picnic lunch, to be enjoyed in the park as we pass what always seems to be twenty five minutes before the next bus arrives. In the winter, a thermos with soup or cocoa and some crackers or snacks come along, and we eat them hiding in the bus stop, awaiting our warm ride on the blustery day.

As I have really reflected on the thoughts of wasted time, being intentional, and making the most of time, I can't help but wonder if modern technology has sometimes caused us to lose out. Far from decrying all technology or returning to yesteryear, I'm just wondering where exactly there is a place for everything, including the pursuit s-l-o-w and truly savoring life. We all rush around all the time, flitting about like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland "late late late for an important date" and wonder if this is really the way to live all the time. Is this really healthy?

I think of the rich and juicy flavor of a scrumptious roast, slowly cooked for hours, with it's delightful aroma permeating my house. Such a fabulous treat this meal is--but oh! what patience it took. A treat such as this cannot be heated up quickly in a microwave. I wonder if this principle must hold true about life as well. If we always rush around, with our calendars stuffed full of activity, can we ever cultivate the richness of a life well lived? Without time to pause, to reflect, to let the flavors of all the different parts of our life meld into us, all the personality in our own families melt together in the family pot, do we ever reach our full potential as individuals, as husband & wife, as families, as friends, as anything? If we don't pause to breath, to sit still, and listen as God speaks to our hearts, can we really be open to His guidance? Can we follow the narrow road without adequate care for navigation and reading the map?

These are questions to which I have no answer, but ones that make me want to work towards a more intentional life. It's time to realize there is no rush. I do not have to flit about to each activity, trying to finish in record time, to beat some imaginary clock or feel as if I've been productive. Baking time shouldn't mean I grow at impatient at Peapod's taking her time breaking the eggs and do it myself, but realize the world will not end if this process takes ten minutes or more. She's learning to bake and exploring in the kitchen; I'm learning patience and care for the delicate processes of a child's learning. Her work is valuable and is to be encouraged, at her ability and in her own time frame, not that of my adult self.

Bath time need not be under thirty minutes every night, as if somebody were watching with a stop watch in hand, but can extend longer when Peapod is especially having fun. Allowing Peapod to put the towels away in the linen closet will not yield a perfect stack, but her doing so does produce a love for helping Mama, the lessons of doing work with joy in her precious little heart, as she sings and dances about during her chore time, and that's far more important than domestic perfection. There will be time for a neat linen closet, and by then I'll surely miss the sticky finger prints on my walls and the little one who was so eager to help and learn everything she possibly could, as she'll be all grown up.

Emailing shouldn't be my first choice of communication with others, simply because it's fast and easy. A handwritten note is a precious gift to nearly everyone, but especially to my husband overseas. Beautiful Peapod made stationary, a pretty writing pen, a well-furnished writing desk are of far higher value than the nicest computer and the fastest high speed connection, no matter how often my need for speed makes me forget this important truth. Connections don't truly come while rushed, but only when allowed to unravel and flow naturally, with care at every step of the way.

Rather than rush through the chores and need-to-dos, perhaps its time to enjoy the unique noise of my corn broom sweeping across the floor as I sweep every morning and evening. It's time to enjoy the yummy scents of favorite essential oil blends as I go about my cleaning, laundry, and ironing. It's time to turn off the stand mixer and knead the bread by hand, at least the easy to knead glutenous varieties. And more importantly, it's time to let the laundry linger in the basket until evening or forgo the ironing this week, because maybe it's the first sunny day this week and time would best be spent taking a sweet little one outside, rather than worrying about clothing getting put away "on schedule". And soon it will be the first weeks with my husband home again and many things just don't seem as important when I ponder all of the time we've missed.

Surely there are times we must rush, must work quickly and with vigor to get everything done, but that's not every day, every moment, or even most of the time. For a full, rich life, abounding with love and simple pleasures, there must be times for quiet, to sit back & do nothing, to smell the flowers & hear the birds, and to be still and slow. Listening, watching, waiting, and savoring.

Picture Credit

A 'Precious Moment' for Peapod

2009-07-08T13:37:00.000-04:00

Ever since I was a wee little newborn, my parents have given me a collectible of some sort, to commemorate important occasions and events in my life. Precious Moments were the most common collectible my sister and I were given, including the entire birthday train set, year by year. This tradition is one I have been continuing with Peapod, starting with the birthday train shortly after she was born. Imagine my delight when I came across deployment Precious Moments while browsing through the website of a favorite store, Bronners in Frankenmuth, Michigan, several months ago! My package arrived today, with a figurine for her collection and one for mine, celebrating the homecoming soon to be happening, as well as the many others that will likely take place in the years to come with the Army. I sincerely doubt Peapod will appreciate her little homecoming girl right now, but surely someday in the future she will. :o)

Nature

2009-07-06T06:21:00.002-04:00

I have always enjoyed the bounty of life and natural processes that make up Creation, but never more so than when I have taken a step back to marvel at the fact that the vastness and greatness on this earth was all designed by God. All the beauty that surrounds me was created in His infinite wisdom to work together and be the breathtaking view outside our window, the apple eaten fresh from the tree, or the delicate symbiotic relationships shared between all the creatures, flora & fauna, that occupy this planet. None of this was chance or happenstance. It's not without purpose or without the rich rhythm that makes up life. From the gravitational forces that keep us bound to the earth, to the weather patterns that make up one part of the climate in which we live, and the rhythm of the seasons tat take us through the calendar, there was One Who designed it all.

Ancient civilizations watched the patterns of the night sky to build their calendars and many faiths today, usher in their holidays using the same system of moonlight and absence, marking the sky. A baby grows within it's mother's womb for (ideally ;o)) nine months, give or take, debuting into this world when it's cycle of growth is complete. Our bodies breath, beat, and move in rhythmic fashion, ebbing and flowing, growing & stretching, as we live through the processes of life. Even the plants that move far too slowly for modern day attention spans have a rhythm to them, one so slow and precious we might hardly ever notice, but still they do. All of life has beautiful order and design, coming together to make up the vastness of creation.

When I have looked down from a plane window, at the vastness of the Grand Canyon below, never have I felt so small, to see such a grand bit of nature. Staring out int the Atlantic Ocean, thinking of how big this body of water is, how powerful the waves, how rich it's history, I was truly humbled. Not only are these wonders of major majestic in their own right, but marvelous for the hint of the Creator which they provide. They are but a tiny but as fantastic as He, yet their magnitude I can barely comprehend. If the world of nature possesses so many mysteries yet to be unraveled, so many questions yet to be answered, so much delicate balance which may be getting destroyed as I type, just imagine how glorious is their Creator, how wise, how precious, how wonderful. This is something full of so much power, I cannot even begin to realize.

The Author designed everything on this earth. From the itty bitty one celled amoeba to the big huge blue whale. From the intricacies of the many systems in the human body to the design on the trees making oxygen for us to breath, the Lord's hand is involved in all of this. This is His design, his Creation, and something none of us can ever create on our own. For all the marvels that human hands have designed, for all the discoveries we have found, we cannot make life on our own. Even if every brilliant mind in all of history got together and worked to make something as simple as the one celled creature, they could not design such a thing. Maybe a blueprint could be made, but the life force could not be breathed into our creation. Just a model it would remain. This power belongs to One alone and can never be ours. How marvelous is this? The Lord's perfect, beautiful design. And to think this is just a brief glimpse into his majesty. Truly takes a person's breath away, doesn't it?!

Picture Credit

Summer In A Jar

2009-07-01T13:23:00.002-04:00

Life without the internet (and television for that matter ;o)) really frees up a lot of free time! I am hoping to have a few posts up on auto-publish this afternoon to give my poor blog a little life despite my absence.

This past week has been spent picking, harvesting, dehydrating, and putting up oodles of food for this fall and winter. The symphony of sealing jars has been the music flowing through the air of my home and the delicious smells of sugar, spice, and everything nice has been our home's perfume. Peapod and I managed to pick three gallons of blueberries in the humid southern heat and had a blast doing so. As she said, it was "wike Sal" from Blueberries For Sal.

Hopefully this work will be "summer in a jar" for my handsome husband who is missing this year's farmers market season. Not as great as enjoying the culinary pleasures of summer fresh off the farm or plant, but as close as I can give him. :o) As has been the case every year before, this year has been my biggest canning season ever, as I add to my garden and orders straight from the farm, mastering more and more with every passing season.

So far this year, the following items have made their way into my pantry:

*strawberry lemonade concentrate, jam, pie filling (with rhubarb), and marmalade
*blueberry jam & pie filling
*raspberry jam & pie filling
*blackberry jam, pie filling, sauce, and preserves
*various herb jellies: basil, herbs de provence, lavender, rosemary, savory, tarragon, parsley, mint
*spiced local honey
*various kinds of mustard: lemon-sage wine, ginger garlic

There are also some vinegars prepping in my pantry, waiting to be bottled later this month:
*blueberry basil
*tarragon
*raspberry
*mulled blackberry

I use these vinegars in salad dressing recipes and as finishing condiments for a variety of meals. They are especially tasty lightly drizzled over vegetables, adding a bit of flavor to an otherwise bland and boring side dish.

Next up will be canning up a bunch of peaches and heirloom tomatoes, ordered from a favorite local farmer, and all of the veggies starting to abound in my garden. My grandparents' fig tree will also soon be ready to be picked, so fig preserves for cheese trays will be in my canner very soon, too. I can hardly wait to try all the new pickles, relishes, and chutneys I will get to try this year!

What has everybody else been harvesting, picking, and preserving? Has anybody tried canning for the first time this year?

Picture Credit

The Final Stretch

2009-06-27T06:33:00.003-04:00

Per numerous requests, it's time to share the BIG deployment countdown news!

My husband will be back in the US sometime within the next thirty days!!!!!!!!!

We know more than this, of course, but due to OPSEC I cannot share more than this vague countdown. ;o)

With that said, Peapod and I will not be seeing Sean until sometime in August, after he outprocesses his soon-to-be former duty station and flies down south to help us get packed up and ready to move to his new duty station. For various reasons, we decided this was the best choice, for Peapod's sake especially. Once his plane touches down, the phone will ring both ways again, which is an exciting thing, believe me!

Be on the lookout for the homecoming announcement next month! :D

I Killed My Computer!

2009-06-24T13:40:00.002-04:00

With roughly a month to go, it seems to deployment fairy had to bestow something on me something from the one area that had yet to go awry: technology. This morning my computer ceased working after one the cords in the back was hit with a ball. I've had my computer for several years now and it's been acting strange for awhile, so the only surprise was physical damage would do my computer in, as opposed to a tech problem. Funny how that worked :P

In light of this, I will likely be a bit absent from Blog Land for awhile, maybe checking in once or twice a week. This works out just fine with all the gardening, canning, farmer's marketing, and general hustle and bustle that will making these last weeks of the deployment very busy. :o) Wishing y'all a lovely summer and looking forward to "seeing" y'all soon!

Military Musings- Part Two

2009-06-22T06:26:00.001-04:00

Part One can be found here.

*Different Jobs- Just like any large corporation, in the military different people are trained to do different jobs. Not everybody is in the infantry, a tank driver, or one of the troops who leads the way into battle. Many soldiers are in support positions. They cook the food, coordinate transportation of equipment & people, service the vehicles, and provide training to those who will at some point take over from coalition forces, in different jobs.

*Everybody is "in combat"- Despite the different jobs, everybody who is serving in uniform in Iraq or Afghanistan, is "in combat". Everybody is in potential danger. There is no front line or somewhere to get a guaranteed break from the potential danger. Whether you are a woman soldier stationed in country, cooking food, or a man who convoys into Iraq from Kuwait, you may very well find yourself in a dangerous situation when you least expect it. Vehicles crash & roll over. Convoys are ambushed. Car bombs go off. IEDs do not discriminate. The enemy our troops are fighting against is a faceless coward and doesn't hesitate to even aim at porta-potties with their weapons. They don't care if you are a man or a woman, a support soldier or one leading the fight. They don't even care if you are a fellow Muslim. If you are not "one of them" they will not hesitate to blow you up with a roadside bomb or IED or open fire on you. Everybody who has gone to Iraq or Afghanistan was potentially in the line of fire.

*Women ARE "in combat"- The fact I just mentioned means, of course, that even women, who may be in support jobs, have been sent into "combat" by coalition forces. Women may not have led the march towards Baghdad, into what would pop into most people's mind as Hollywood movie style war, but they have been serving in the current conflicts and have faced just as much gore and danger as their male comrades.

There are indeed women who are lousy soldiers, just as there exist men who are the same, but I personally cannot deny the reality that are woman in uniform who do their jobs well and have rightfully earned the respect of their fellow soldiers, both men and women, and the many Americans who do support them in their endeavors. Many of the best women service members are not feminists in the "life boat feminism" type of way, but are true egalitarians who shoulder the burden equally with the men they serve with. They work hard, do their best in their training, and are ready to have the backs of their fellow soldiers, and even lay down their lives, should that need arise. There even exist women who can pass PT tests not only by the standards for women, but by those for men as well. (Passing the test my husband must is a fitness goal of mine.)

Whether you or I "support" women in the armed forces or in combat is really a moot point & not something I will delve into any deeper than the bit I am about to offer, as they are already there and we have our right not to join the military, which at this time is still an all volunteer force. But with that said, I cannot speak ill of the women who have risen courageously to the challenge of service and are considered valuable members of their units. I especially cannot be ungracious to the women my husband has served with in the past and is serving with right now. To the women who have my husband's back, I do feel more loyalty than I do to my conservative sisters who might be upset by their very service. They are far braver than I could ever be and for this reason I deeply respect them, just as I do all men who take the oath of service and sacrifice for something greater than themselves. As the wife of a soldier, I selfishly want the best qualified person serving alongside my husband, no matter what gender or race they may be or what religious belief and political ideology they may subscribe to. The lives of my husband and everybody in his unit depend on people who are truly there to do their jobs and will not back down when the going gets tough. I am sincerely thankful to each and every person my husband has served with, no matter who they may be.

*Heroes and Demons- Not everybody feels like a hero for what they have done during their time with the military. Some feel like monsters and will likely hate themselves forever for what they have lived through and done. I recall a controversy from a few years ago, about a soldier who had a bumper sticker on his car that said something to the effect of "Forgive me God for what I've done". Many people were upset with him, people who had never done or seen what he did. In the patriotic fervor, it was not considered that perhaps he had to shoot or run over a child, bearing a bomb hidden in an MRE. Maybe he'd been backed into a corner and did something he'd never want to do. Whatever the case may be, he, like every other service member, is entitled to feel whatever he needs to in order to heal and live with whatever his experiences have been. For some, feeling like a hero may be it. For others, they need to regret what they have done and forgive themselves for what has happened. Whatever the case may be, a service member deserves the right to celebrate or mourn their service as they see fit, regardless of what others may feel about military service and the war.

*The Glory of War- I cannot tell you how many folks I've come across who do not appreciate that war is a bloody, terrible thing to live through. I don't fault these people for not understanding, but if I said I don't have concerns about their ideas, I'd be lying. Many inappropriate questions might come the way of soldiers, often spoken as you might ask me if I'd seen the latest movie.

"Have you ever killed anybody?"
"Oh cool! You went to Iraq?"
"Did you ever see combat? Was it like x-video game?"
"So, tell me about the war....what was it like?"

Many returning troops cannot talk about these issues with their closest loved ones, let alone with prying strangers and acquaintances. War is not cool and full of glory, but death and destruction instead. There are many experiences a soldier may not be able to talk about and share for years afterward. Many issues must be faced and confronted, in the soldiers own time and way, and people need to respect this. It's not your business to know what somebody has felt or seen over there and it could potentially be very harmful to a soldier to inquire about such private feelings and realities.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My two little posts hardly do all of these issues justice, but I do hope they shed a little bit of light on questions people have shared with me. I also hope this might provide better understanding of the many challenges military life throws the way of service members and their families. War is not just a political matter to a minority in this nation, but our real lives. There are many Peapods out there, missing their daddies and mommies. There are many women like myself, dealing with life alone and whatever the Deployment Fairy throws out way on top of that. There are many families who are missing their sons & daughters, husbands & wives, mothers & fathers, brothers & sisters forever, for they have laid down their lives in the line of duty. And there are military members in all of the branches who for whatever reason have made the choice to protect the Constitution and do all that's necessary for this task, including the ultimate sacrifice, so the rest of us do not have to. I sincerely hope people remember the real human faces behind the war when they vote at the ballot box and make their decisions on important political matters. At this point in history, the United States is extremely fortunate to have an all-volunteer force, but this isn't always a guarantee.

Military Musings- Part One

2009-06-21T06:39:00.001-04:00

After some going-ons in recent weeks, many questions have floated into my inbox about military life, as well as requests from some of my fellow military wives to bring up some issues that have been on their minds. I hope this post will provide some better insight into the world and our lives, for those wondering, and might help others better understand where we're coming from.

*Anger- When we discuss our lives, make mention of the deployment, consider how much we've sacrificed, or discuss how politics relate to our reality, it does NOT mean we are angry, upset, offended, or anything of that sort. Sure, there may be times people are frustrated or angry, but during the course of many, if not most, conversations, to talk of our lives with the military and the challenges we face is no different than civilian wives talking about their lives. To live through a deployment on the homefront or see the war through our eyes is not something most people ever have opportunity to do and for this reason, it seems many people forget this is our REAL life. It's not a move, a television show, or something we don't thrive during. It's not a big hiccup that never gets recovered from until our husbands come home. This is our reality and most of us do indeed thrive throughout the time spent apart and reach a point where we can ask questions, not out of anger, but through the eyes of experience and genuine curiosity.

*The War- Military wives do not owe you an explanation for why they may or many not support the war. We don't need to provide special insight whenever asked, nor do we need to defend ourselves for questioning the status quo or even for supporting the war. Presenting information to a military wife in attempts to woo her to your side of the issue is not the kindest idea and could even be harmful in some instances. If believing we are doing the right thing in Iraq is getting her through her deployment days, nobody should try to take this important coping mechanism away from a particular military spouse.

*Emotions- As with so many difficult life situations, it's not uncommon for people to project what they feel their emotions would be onto you. Most do this in an attempt to be sincerely helpful, never realizing how annoying or frustrating such a thing can be. Just because you might be scared, sensitive, upset, angry, or whatever else, doesn't mean myself or any other military spouse feels the same way. If you want to help a friend in the midst of deployment, you need to listen to him or her and what they say, not act as if you know how they feel. Treat them as they want and request to be treated, without placing assumptions onto them.

*Life After Combat- It is no secret that troops come back from combat at minimum jumpy, exhausted, and oftentimes rather smelly from lack of proper hygiene throughout their deployment. Even in the most positive of times, there are adjustments to be made and issues for the service member themselves and also their families, to handle. There are also times somebody comes back in much worse shape, when the adjustments may take a very long time or may never full happen. Counseling may be needed, possibly even psychiatrist drugs. Maybe something else entirely.

Regardless of the circumstances, it's not your place to judge, jump in with inappropriate questions, or try to intellectualize somebody's very real problem. The last person with whom you should be debating war, the effects of combat, how children handle a parent's deployment absence, of anything of that sort, is a military spouse, a service member, or other family members. Regardless of how noble your intentions, it's inappropriate at best, and harmful at worst. They need time to readjust to civilian life and heal without the expectations of outsiders or being turned into some human guinea pig to be shared as anecdotal experience later on.

*War-Not Just Politics- Many of you reading are able to look at the current wars as mere political matters, but this isn't the case for those of us who are married to the military. For some of us, our heart breaks every time another person is killed in the Middle East. The person may not be known to us, but he or she is "one of us". Many of us know people who didn't make it home or who came home with traumatic injuries. I'd venture to say all of us known marriages that died in a sandy place and have seen the toll deployments take on children. All of us, whether we be the families left behind or the soldiers who went to war, have had our lives changed from the war. To us, this isn't politics, it's reality.

The politics of the war are not considered polite conversation at military related social functions precisely because of this reasons. You never know who you are speaking to who may have a loved one who was killed in combat. By offering your opinion, you never known from whom you may shatter the beliefs that are helping them get through their day. And you certainly do not know whose husband or wife, daughter or son, mommy or daddy, may not be making it home this time around. The politics of the war do not matter so much when you are the people involved, for no matter what you believe, you are going to witness the human toll of the war. Beliefs and ideology mean nothing when there is a crisis to be handled or a broken heart to soothe.

*Pity- Much like the anger issue mentioned above, pity is another emotion so commonly thrust upon military spouses. Well-meaning people tell us how sorry they feel for us and how we have a right to be angry or sad, never considering that we feel neither. Some folks look at the challenges we face and attempt to turn us into victims for what we've had to handled on our own, rather than understanding most of us have learned to be well, Army Strong. Even if we question if everything we've done has been worth it or if we consider if this is something we want to do until our service members are eligible for retirement, these tough questions don't require your pity for they might be similiar ones others ponder about their lives. Just because the military is thrown into the mix doesn't make our questions about our lives and considerations for our husband's well-being different than civilian spouses doing the same thing. Once again, the military is part of our everyday lives, everything we ponder must factor them in much as you likely make choices as a family who will be staying in the house you own for several years at least. You have your reality; we have ours.

*Free Speech- Many of my friends have marveled about this same issue, which was funny as sometimes I thought I was the only one. Never have myself and several others felt so censored and without our right to free speech than when discussing our lives are military wives. When many of the issues highlighted above swirl together, you'll often find the words you are saying are absolutely being ignored in favor of what others think you should be saying. When a military wife offers her perspective, even if it's not what you'd think it would be, she is entitled to her free speech. She doesn't need to change her words or censor herself because another person is uncomfortable hearing about what she actually feels and what her experiences have been.

One of my friends shared that she's noticed some people almost seem to feel guilty when talking to her and seem not to be able to handle the human experiences that lie behind the politics. I don't know how true this may be, but thought it was an interesting perspective to share, with her permission, nonetheless.

*Deployments- I have been asked numerous questions about this deployment. Some of the more personal ones I have answered via email, but for the more general ones that came from more than one person, I offer my answers below.

Does the time pass quickly?

In one word, no. My friend Rachelleshared some thoughts several months ago that are probably the best way to explain deployments to an outsider. She likened the time apart to that of pregnancy. For those who aren't the pregnant woman, the time may pass quickly, but for the mom-to-be herself, it's almost at a standstill. To add a bit to Rachelle's thoughts, I'd also say, like pregnancy, there are certain points of deployment that pass by more quickly than others. The "first trimester" goes by a bit slowly, as you adjust to life alone, then you plateau our to the "second trimester" where you find balance once again. One you reach the halfway mark, time passes very slowly. Like pregnancy, the closer you get to the return date, the more anxious and excited you become....and quite a bit more impatient. And just like once a newborn baby arrives, when your spouse comes home, there are adjustments to be made and a "fourt trimester" during which you adjust to your life anew.

Which is more difficult, separations with a child or without?

I can only answer for my personally, but both have their own challenges. Before Peapod arrived, I didn't have a routine or rhythm to my day and had a far more difficult time not falling into habits that made all the days of separation run together and seem more frustrating. The days also seemed a lot longer simply because there wasn't as much to do. Separations with a child keep me busier and living a more healthy schedule than I did before, but they also add the heartbreak that is seeing a child's hurt emotions due to the deployment. A little person picking up the phone and yelling "Neber call agin" or upset that Daddy "forgotted" her is very difficult to see, especially when there really isn't much you can to to soothe this void in her life. I must also confess that I am a lot more exhausted, physically, emotionally, and otherwise than I was when I was alone. The activities that keep me busy also keep me on my toes all day, up during the night sometimes, and running after a very energetic two year old, even when I'm sick, feverish, or have an injured ankle. Somebody needs to make 'Sleep in a Bottle' so I can always be caught up on sleep, no matter what the day or night before held. LOL.

How do you do it all and survive through the tough circumstances that have happened during this past year?

The only answer I can really give it, it's amazing what you can do when you have no other choice. :P There are numerous people who tell me they could never do what I do and offer me compliments on my strength, but I think all of us are capable of rising to the challenges of life if we so choose to. The most important thing for me has/is simply to do it no matter what "it" may be. Don't ask questions, don't balk at a situation, just get in there, roll up your sleeves and get the work done.

I also think it's important to become an optimistic and 'encourager' even if you aren't one by nature. The pessimist and "pitier" pulls herself down, as she looks at the emotional side of things, rather than working towards a true solution. Think of your husband receiving a pink slip at work. He'll do much better if he's encouraged in his search for a new job, rather than pitied and told how mean and evil his boss is and so forth. To be an encourager, you help yourself and others, and eventually it does become natural to fall into this thinking first, before the more negative thoughts that may have once been there. After everything that has happened this year, I can honestly say there isn't much that intimidates me any longer and I can truly appreciate the idea that should God bring us to a problem, He'll also bring us to the solution. This has been proven true to me, time and time again, and it surely will be even more in the future.

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I hope this provides a bit more insight into military life. For my fellow military wives out there, please feel free to add your thoughts on these matters and if anybody else has any more questions about military life, please feel free to ask. :o)

Me and My Big Mouth

2009-06-19T15:56:00.007-04:00

I made a commitment to myself and my husband to be as real as I can be on my blog and have tried to be honest as appropriate for a public blog, even when life is not pretty or there are tough mountains to climb. Because of this fact, it seems quite the fire has erupted. The amount of emails I have received this week has been astounding. Many applauded me for my most recent posts, others have expressed hatred and upset. A good portion of people who have expressed dismay and upset seem to have missed the intention of my posts & the ideas I was hoping to express. Perhaps I wasn't as clear as I thought I was, I'm not sure? I have had all sorts of words put in my mouth and my intentions in sharing my thoughts have been twisted and formed into some terrible monster that was never in my mind as I shared issues I've been pondering.

Although my most recent posts were not aimed at any ministries or persons in particular, but ideas that float around in the particular religious world, from which I walked away from several years ago, upon leaving our IFB church, it seems this reality is not being understood. (ETA: I do NOT have any ill will towards IFB churches, not even the one I left. Just concerns about the legalistic teachings that were shared at my particular church.) Gossip and slander was not part of my post, but dissecting ideas I have come across and allows to sneak into my worldview through my time in the conservative religious world. By virtue of living my life differently than others and having different opinions, this was not shared to be a judgment on individuals, ministries, or religious leaders. It's simply doing my best to walk through life and follow the ancient paths.

I cannot please everybody. I cannot bend at a whim to please every stranger out there who wants me to, to validate decisions others have made and beliefs they might have. I cannot shout from the rooftops and celebrate decisions with which I do not agree. I cannot apologize for having grave concerns and seeing danger, when legalism is, or has the potential to brew. I am just one simple person, trying to make her way in life, attempting to work out some thoughts on ~~paper~~ blog, and build a life from the pieces of my once broken and abused heart and spirit. Despite all I cannot do, I can have sincere respect for your right to live differently that I do, to believe differently than I do, and to hold different opinions than I do. Differences are what make the world fun and they are the only way iron can sharpen iron.

I'm doing the best I can, alongside my husband, to craft a life that has been prayerfully considered, allows us to live out our values, convictions, and morals, and will allow Peapod to grow and flourish. This is why I write, study, read, and ask tough questions. This is why I want to get to the meat of the truth, for when I just had the milk, I was led astray, like Eve in the Garden, to a picture that was beautiful, but not righteous and did not allow me to be the best wife & mother I could have been. We are coming as we are, with lessons learned and more life experience under our belts, and seeing where we are going to be led. Many of you have "known" me for over two years now and likely have witnessed my metamorphosis from the girl I once was to the woman I have become. You have seen me deconstruct the legalistic views that I once held and rebuild my life once again. You know my full story and understand better the changes that have come and the writings I have shared in recent months. Some of you are women with whom I've shared numerous emails, phone calls, and even meetings in real life. Y'all know me in a way most of my readers do not and likely appreciate the challenges that we're facing at this point in our lives. It's difficult for my to express my feelings and the whys of my thoughts without the benefit of my history or the deep questions I have been considering.

For anybody I have offended, confused, or upset, I am sincerely sorry and ask for your forgiveness. It was never my intention to hurt anybody and I am just sick that I have. For anybody who feels my writing is no longer a blessing to them, I will not be hurt or offended if you stop reading. And for those who have offered kind words and encouragement, please know they have been most appreciated. Emails will be answered soon, as the garden & canning allow. If anybody else has rebukes to offer, questions to ask, or anything of the sort, my email is always open: clotheslinealley(AT)gmail(DOT)com

I don't know what direction my blogging may go in, I don't know how long it will continue, but for long as it does, I'm writing as a simple person trying to make sense of the world, not a judge and jury to which your decisions need to be justified to or whom you owe explanation for your choices in life. I hope that those who stick around will appreciate my purpose in writing and understand that these writings are part of my intellectual journey, not offered up to condemn or offend.

A Heart for God

2009-06-19T06:09:00.000-04:00

Having a heart for God is truly one of the most important matters of faith I can think of, but one that perplexes me nonetheless. Much of what we deem to be moral or right, when it comes to the gray issues of faith are largely composed of how we were raised, the culture into which we were born, and the way life experience has shaped us. As precious little babes, we enter this life with fresh eyes, a clear mind, and an intellect that has yet to be touched. Our little eyes look around and explore the world around us, soaking in all of the exciting new surroundings, feeling the wind on our faces, the sand between our chubby little fingers, and the grass beneath our freshly walking toes. Our time of innocent wonder and learning is far too short, for soon our culture begins to shape us.

Most of us cling tightly to the faith in which we were raised and regardless of which faith this may be, certain expectations and ideas are imparted to us; seen as facts by our young minds. We become comfortable with what we see and as we grow, we think this to be the norm. In the United States, most women do not cover their heads as part of religious practice, nor do many dress modestly. If we grow up as Protestants, we do not understand why Catholics & Orthodox Christians revere Mary or why they honor the saints in the way they do. We make assumptions and may gravely misjudge others, claiming they could not possibly have a heart for the Lord, which may be contrary to the truth. Likewise these groups of Christians may not understand in full the perplexities of the Protestant world, with its thousands of denominations and the subtleties between them all. They may not see the point to the endless debating of Protestant theologians and may cast harsh judgment on Protestants for caring more about correct belief than living out their beliefs. The different worlds we come from impact us greatly and will effect how we live out our faith, what theology we hold, and how our day to day lives look.

Those of us in the West might decry music with a drumbeat, forgetting that this music would be the norm throughout most of the world and not a way to worship evil, but a way to 'make a joyful noise unto the Lord' Music has existed before the advent of the classical hymns we've come to accept in our world, the ones certain denominations declare are the only correct music for which worship of God can stem from. We may also forget that many Christians live throughout the Holy Lands and may maintain expressions of faith we find distasteful. Maybe it's a Coptic Christian woman from Egypt wearing hijab or a Syrian bride marrying in blue, the color of purity in her culture, rather than our Anglo Saxon white. We might sneer at the different sort of hospitality offered by these Christians; the tea offered to all guests and the quick offers to entertain strangers, something we simply do not do here in the West. We might judge their appearance, their wedding ceremonies & courtship practices, and modesty standards and dare to insinuate they are wrong or somehow out of the will of God for not being just like us.

Even within our own culture, there are different expressions of faith, different conclusions people might come to from reading the same text. We tend to separate people into groups, identify with one political group and stay firm in their policies, rather than looking beyond man made divides and to God's Law. There is a saying in America, that a young man is said to be without a heart if he isn't a liberal and a older man without a brain if he's not a conservative. Many Christians balk at those who speak about conservation issues, pacifism, reaching out to those of different faiths, and passionately speaking out against injustices in sweat shops, the capitalist economic system, and the wastefulness of our world when it comes to resources that all humans need to survive. All of these are considered 'liberal' issues and for this reason they are looked down upon by many Christians, sometimes to the point of referring to brethren in the faith as "socialists and communists" simply for breaking line with the Republican party and looking to God's Word for their moral compass instead.

When it comes to more liberal Christians, they may call the more conservative folks 'bigots' and other hateful words, as seek to "culturally relevant" and downplay the importance of sexual morality. They might condone same sex marriage, pornography, or fornification as it's all between consenting adults, overlooking not only God's Law but the damage caused by these sins; danger that many a secular person can even see crystal clear. Some ministers are stooping to the level of passing out condoms in offering plates, displaying R rated movies in their sanctuaries, and having Q & A sessions about sex, to attract more people to their church and prove that religion can be exciting and fun to a generation who is quickly abandoning the church. Shouldn't Christians be above this silly polarizing and finger pointing?

How can we judge the regeneration of another's heart based off the values of our culture, rather than just those of the Bible? How can we sneer at the "other side" in politics, discounting their ideas because they are the "other side" rather than holding up their ideas to Scripture and seeing if they, too, might have something to add. Surely God does not only call to Him Republicans and conservatives, westerners and Protestants. He calls everyone and says "come as you are and grow in my ways."

Beyond just the practice of our faith, I can't help but wonder if this isn't even the most important sign of a heart turned toward the Lord, but the way we treat each other. If we are quick to jump to offense or easily angered, is our heart in the right place? If we cannot handle with dignity some of life's greatest tragedies, seeing the rays of sunshine through the rain, do we have a joyful obedient heart or one that is a fair weather friend of the Lord? If we cannot disagree with grace or humble ourselves and reach out to others, including those who are different, can we claim to know the God who offers comfort to everyone from all walks of life? If we sit at home all day but do not have a heart for home and family, isn't something wrong? If we hoard our possessions and money, condemning those who are hungry or hurting, rather than helping through the appropriate means, can we claim to be serving God?

A heart for God is important, but it cannot mean a heart for the god I've made in my image or my country's culture or my theology du jour. No, a heart for God is a heart for God and His ways.