So I hearby declare that I will be reskinning, upgrading, updating and adding some cool stuff like photos in the very near future.

Malcolm.

(Disclaimer: This declaration in no way implies a legally binding promise.)

Will probably edit this later when I don’t feel like passing out. Its been a long day.

Picture 1.
Picture 2.
Picture 3.
Picture 4.

Fiona and Noah are both doing well and feeding successfully.

More later.

Malcolm (A Very New Dad.)

Heartburn

Fiona wakes up a lot during the night. She pee’s about 4 times and often suffers from heartburn caused by Spud pushing stomach juices up during the night. You can’t stop the peeing. Pregnant woman drink a lot more fluid and need to. For heartburn the key seems to be sleeping slightly sat up, not eating too late and Gaviscon, lots of Gaviscon

Nose bleeds

Fiona mainly get nose bleeds when she sits up too quickly. Most woman’s blood pressure goes up while pregnant which can cause nose bleeds so no need to be too alarmed. If however the nose bleed is severe and lasts more than 20 minutes, seek medical advice urgently. Also make sure your blood pressure is checked at each prenatal visit (it should be anyway) as high blood pressure can be a serious problem.

Stretch Marks

Fiona has done really well and is practically stretch mark free. There is no big secret to her success other than moisterising every day. We started off in early pregnancy using Palmers Coco Butter Anti Stretch Mark Cream but the smell made Fiona feel sick so we switched to Boots Sanctuary Mum To Be Body Butter. It’s fragrance free, easy to apply and comes in a huge tub. Oh and it seems to work really well.

Morning Sickness

As mentioned before, we countered morning sickness with a change in breakfast routine, dry biscuits, boiled sweets and not eating too late. More info here.

Mood Swings

Pregnancy mood swings are no different from womens mood swings in general . The best thing to do is let them blow over and be a reassuring adult. It all good practice for the 4th day after birth which from what I have heard doesn’t sound like much fun for us dads. Will keep you posted on that one.

We have been modernising our house over the last few years. We fitted a new kitchen, re-plastered our living room, purchased a new corner sofa and replaced most of the carpets. When we first found out we were expecting, we decided that we would use the bigger of our spare bedrooms as it was one of the rooms we hadn’t touched yet other than a lick of paint. We had a few issues such as an aging water tank in an airing cupboard that often made odd noises in the night and our boiler was on its last legs, so we decided to go the whole hog and lose the cupboard and install a new combi boiler downstairs.

We hired our friendly builder to replace the boiler just before Christmas and at the end of January arranged for him to come back and re-plaster the room, fit new skirting and repair the holes in the floor and roof. The problem was our builder was amazingly busy and found it very difficult to find the time to complete the room as he was doing it out of work hours as a favour.

At the start of April and with Spud fast approaching our nursery looked like this. Much to Fiona’s dismay.

Then (after being bullied by Fiona) our builder did a very honourable thing and took a day off work to get our nursery finished. Unluckily for us his work had different plans and called him in after lunch to handle a gas emergency. He had however managed to get the walls plastered, the wholes patched and the new skirting on so I took it on my self to finish up and decorate.

In the space of 2 weeks (had to wait for a carpet to be fitted before I could build the furniture) our nursery went from the above to this and my stress levels went from 9.0 to about a 3.0. Just don’t look behind the wardrobe as I had to do a bit of plastering myself and I’m not much good at plastering.

Oh and to cap it all, I decided to do a bit of painting…. Check this out.

So we went to Babies R Us (Toys R Us) and instantly fell in love with the “I Love My Bear Range”. It’s a cot bed so shouldn’t need to be replaced till Spud is in his or her early 20’s and has a very cool teddy bear pattern. Having recently built it (from flat pack) I am very surprised by the build quality. It fits together very well and has a drop side for easy access to pick up the baby. At around £250 with a good quality mattress we are over the moon and as you can see from the photo below when combined with various accessories from the “I Love My Bear” range including cot bumper, mobile and bedding set it all looks pretty cool.

Pregnancy holds a lot of choices some of which are harder than others. I honestly had never thought much about prams beyond what looks cool and what doesn’t. In really there is in fact a lot to think about when shopping for a pram and a huge range of styles and price tags to choose from.

When we first decided to look for a pram we went at it blind. We strolled around Babies R Us and Mothercare pushing anything we could and checking price tags. We found one that looked cool and had more bells and whistles that many cars and were happy with our choice.

Then (and thank god she did) Fiona did a bit of research on the Internet. With the aid of a few product review sites, Fiona found there was more to buying a Pram than price and looks. Other things to consider were turning circles, collapsing, folded size, storage, weight and reliability. So armed with a list of what we wanted from a pram we revisited our choices with the addition of Mamas and Papas.

Well we can rule Mamas and Papas out straight away. We walked in, we walked around, we saw the prices, we walked straight out. Babies R Us and Mothercare carry a very similar range of prams so I wouldn’t put one before the other. As far as brands go we checked out crazy looking 3 wheelers, fluffy stuff, coloured stuff (even lime green) and even suede. We pushed as many as we could, collapsed loads and had a real good mess around.

In the end we settled on the Graco Mosiac as it ticked all our boxes at a very good price. More info on our Graco Mosiac pram here.

There are loads of different prams out there and you have to try before you buy. Push it, collapse it, lift it and give it a damn good test. If it’s too heavy your partner won’t be able to go out on her own. If it doesn’t collapse small enough it won’t fit in your car. If it’s uncomfortable to push you will end up with back ache (especially important for tall mums and dads).

I honestly can recommend the Graco Mosiac and some of the 3 wheelers were pretty cool to although too expensive for us. I’ll keep you posted on any problems as Spud gets bigger.

This pram (travel system) ticked all our boxes. It was affordable at £150 from an online seller called Little Urchins, it folds down very small which is ideal as our car isn’t a people carrier it’s a Peugeot 307, it comes complete as it’s a travel system which means it’s a baby seat, pram and push chair, its a lot lighter than many of the systems we tried which means Fiona can lift it, it is easy to fold and erect, it matches are car and most of all I look damn cool pushing it.

Having pushed this pram with our friends 4 month old in it, I can honestly say it rocks. Easy to manoeuvre and comfortable to push which many weren’t as I’m 6’2”. We had a bit of trouble finding it in the colour we wanted as it has gone out of production and been replaced by some bizarre flowery pattern. The pram is still the same (Graco Mosiac) but the patterns have changed.

Oh we nearly purchased a brown suede version but decided at the last minute that suede and sick don’t mix. Thank god we did as the majority of new mums I see around at the moment have the suede one and it would have looked so stupid next to our car.

Specification

Manufacturer – Graco
Model – Mosiac
Style – Metropolitain

• Features (taken from Graco site)
• Comfy seat with cosy head support
• Adjustable calf support for tired legs
• Window in canopy for extra ventilation
• Multi position recline
• A really compact fold (folds 2 ways like an umbrella!) so lots of room left in your boot for shopping
• Brakes that push on/off – so no scuffing your shoes!
• Easy to manoeuvre thanks to front swivel, lockable wheels
• Stylish lightweight aluminium frame
• Removable, washable seat pad
• Removable arm bar so little passengers can’t climb in and out
• Handy pockets in the back

Just because your partner is pregnant and starting to show doesn’t mean she has lost the desire to look attractive. With Fiona’s clothes starting to struggle to accommodate the ever expanding bulge we decided it was time to invest in some maternity clothes to carry her through to the birth.

Fiona works as a group secretary in a University and likes to dress smartly whenever she leaves the house. Therefore we made a list of what she would need that included a couple of dresses, some jeans, several smock style tops, t-shirts, trousers, blouses, jumpers (it was winter after all), pyjamas and maybe a coat.

Leeds is a big city with a huge number of clothes shops many of which advertise a maternity range on the Internet at least. We visited them all, Dorothy Perkins, New Look, Debenhams, H & M, George (by ASDA), Marks and Spencers and on and on. Most had no maternity section, the rest had a single rail. Even Debenhams (a provider of a lot of our pre-pregnancy clothes) failed to impress us with its maternity selection. We did buy both of the outfits available though.

So we checked out all the specialist shops. Mothercare has a reasonably sized maternity section although sizes seemed to be a bit limited. The Pumpkin Patch has some nice stuff although 50% of it broke while Fiona was trying to get it on. Every other shop or catalogue was just plain stupidly expensive. Babies are expensive and I couldn’t help but feel that many of the online, specialist and catalogue providers of maternity clothing were trying to cash in rather than prove a helpful solution.

If anyone starts a maternity shop where the clothes aren’t 4 times more expensive than normal versions they may be onto a winner.

So I have probably painted a picture where Fiona walks around nude. Well that’s not true. We did find a pretty good solution for buying maternity clothes. Ebay. Most women only buy maternity clothes when they really need them. This means they are only used for about 4 or 5 months. Once you have had the baby they soon become redundant and collect dust.

Lots of people sell their maternity clothes after they have served their purpose. If your partner fits the profile of a seller you can (as we did) find some real bargains. I purchased a huge box of maternity clothes from a very pleasant woman with very similar tastes to Fiona. I gave Fiona them for Christmas (I’m such a skinflint) she got me a dishwasher. Everything in the box was immaculate. There were 5 pairs of jeans (one of which were over £100 new), many tops, jumpers, skirts, formal trousers, a pair of pyjamas and even an unworn tankini (still unworn). How much did I pay you ask? £90 including delivery. Saved us a small fortune.

The problem now is that at 38 weeks Fiona fits in a grand total of 3 outfits, one of which has to be held closed by a hair band stretched to the limit

Are we going to buy anymore clothes prior to Spuds arrival? Hopefully not but if we do have to we’re not going to spend more than a few pounds. Oh and no, we won’t be selling on our maternity clothes on Ebay, Fiona has knackered them all and nobody wants a third hand tankini.

The 20 week scan is a big deal. Firstly most couples say that 20 weeks is the safe point. Passing 20 weeks means you can breathe again and even maybe start buying clothes if you haven’t already. The other thing that most people forget about the 20 week scan is that the majority of the time it is possible to identify the gender of your baby at 20 weeks.

So do you find out the gender? Well we didn’t and I’ll explain why. We spoke to our friend Sarah (waves at Sarah) who happens to be a midwife. She mentioned how fathers who already know the gender of the baby seem less excited when telling parents etc. that the baby had been born over the phone. There’s no surprise.

This was enough for us to decide not to know the gender. There is however a negative to not knowing the gender of your baby. That really pretty floral dress has to stay in the shop and pink or blue are out of the question when buying clothes prior to birth. We’ll the first isn’t necessarily true. Spud already has 1 dress. Photos of Noah in a house dress coming soon. Maybe

The 20 week scan is every bit as awesome as the 12 week scan. The main difference is what was once a crudely drawn mini baby is now a baby. Toes, fingers, bones, bladder (Spuds was full), a heart and a face. And Spud was still as active as ever. We had been told that the 20 week scan was quite a serious affair with lots of measuring etc. and not much talking. Our scan woman (there I go again getting all technical) even warned us of this but seemed to forget and told us everything and anything. She was great. She tried for about 10 minutes to get us a good side on photo of Spud but Spud had other plans and constantly turned to face the camera. Got a good full frontal shot though. Best start saving for acting classes.

Advice. Take cash for a photo, don’t forget to drink before hand and decide whether you want to know the gender or not before you go in. Tell the scan person even if they don’t ask as it has been known for them to get caught up in the moment and tell you anyway.

Oh nearly forgot, say hello to 20 week old Spud.

“We haven’t got any chicken.”
“I really fancy chicken.”
“I can do spag bog.”
“CCCHHHHIIICCCKKKKEEENNNN.”
“I’m just off to ASDA, back soon”

And there began Fiona’s chicken phase. Luckily chicken is pretty healthy and available uncooked, cooked and at most restaurants. Man we ate a lot of chicken during the chicken phase. Next at the same time as the chicken phase and right through to this day came pickled onion Monster Munch crisps. We constantly have a cupboard full of these bad boys, even I have started eating them. It was here that I fully learnt the true strength of cravings.

We had run out of pickled onion Monster Munch. Fiona was pi… upset. So off I went to ASDA to get some. Ooh new packaging, 80% less fat oooooh. And 80% less flavour apparently. Fiona went mental (I’m exaggerating) and immediately wrote a complaint to Walkers . She eventually got a very apologetic letter, a £3 gift voucher for Walkers products and a promise it would be looked into.

Advice. The major reoccurring line in Stephen King’s Storm of the Century is “Give me what I want and I will go away”. Says it all really. One thing to watch out for is very obscure cravings. Craving things like pencil lead or coal can be a sign of a serious deficiency and should be mentioned to a health worker.

Disclaimer. Neither ADSA, Walkers or Stephen King paid me to write this blog post