What I don’t talk about often is that I was actually loathing marketing my own business. It was out of integrity for me to help people market their businesses when I didn’t want to market mine. What happened that I found myself dreading marketing my business when I had loved every minute of it in the past?

It started in 2014 when I asked if there was a different way to go about marketing. I have tons of blog posts, calls and newsletters exploring what a new way might look like. I was excited and energized by looking for it and I shifted many minds in the process.  I even started a mastermind group where we discussed new ways of marketing.  After a few years though, I struggled with tactics and how to make them better.

Then the 2016 election happened and a lot of things I thought I knew suddenly felt like they’d been made all fuzzy. My mastermind group fizzled. I started spending more time as an activist. My Husband got sick (he’s getting better now after over a year of being sick). Time didn’t get in my way. I can always find time for my passions. It was something else. It was deeper.  I’m just starting to scratch the surface on it now. Over the last four months a few things have become clear to me.

1) I was shaming people-Marketing strategies I have learned over the years threatened people and were intended to make them feel bad so they would buy my services. In 2014, I started to rebel against this. I stopped shaming and started inviting. Yet the marketing industry kept digging further and further into shaming. And I suffered from a bit of comparitanitis as people who were using those tactics were growing when I wasn’t.

2) I was perpetuating privilege-I worked mostly with people who were not only Naturally, Creative, Resourceful and Whole but who had support systems, access to what they needed, and the means to make things happen.

3) I want to be making a difference with a different group of people. Since the election of 2016, my eyes have been opened to so many systemic things in our country that run deeper than I ever knew (racism, sexism, and other isms). Things that have knocked people down and kept them there. As we move forward, it looks like more of these systems will be implemented as the old ones are strengthened or re-energized. That rattles me to the core. I want to make a difference for those who are most affected by this. I want to support the people who do the work helping those people. I want to put my talents and skills to use getting the word out about a different kind of good work being done in the world.

While I loved every minute of working with Coaches, I have begun to see how messaging, smart marketing, coordination skills and the ability to lead with coaching skills can be invaluable in non-profit organizations. I would rather get paid to grow their services than to grow my own. I’d rather get paid to bring their work into the world. There are a lot of people doing great work helping coaches figure out their marketing (many who are working to dismantle the problems there). I feel a hard pull to move on.

Again, this is just scratching the surface. I am disillusioned with marketing and running my own business and that prompted the change. Since I’ve stepped back I’ve seen things that I couldn’t see while in the midst of it (there is racism and so much classism in marketing). My vision for my business has crumbled now and I don’t have the desire to move forward, so I must move on.

I don’t know exactly what life will look like when I land, but I’m following my passion and heart. Re-reading that statement I realize so many don’t have the ability to follow their passion and heart. I want to be a part of more people having that ability. Of course, when they are ready, I will always be promoting coaching as an option.

Personally, I would follow the advice of the Southern Poverty Law Center: “Every act of hatred should be met with an act of love and unity. Many communities facing a hate group rally have held alternative events at the same hour, some distance away, emphasizing strength in community and diversity.” This would give no ammunition for violence at the hate group rally.  Therefore, they would have no might or power.  It would be a non-event.

So, how does this relate to marketing a coaching business?  Every day, I see bullying, shaming and guilt tripping in so many marketing messages.  I see coaches trying to get clients by invading Facebook private messages and LinkedIn inboxes with offers before starting a relationship.  I see marketing gurus teaching those tactics.  These seem like mighty and powerful ways to get a marketing message across.  Strong language and tactics get responses, right?  Wrong!  Ok, so I realize that this is not white supremacy rearing it’s ugly head and the people doing these tactics actually don’t want to incite violence.  But there’s a reason so many coaches do not succeed at getting clients using these tactics. Because being mighty and powerful has led to forcing our way into a client’s pocketbook.

There are coaches  who will succeed with mighty and powerful tactics.  It works for them, because it’s authentic to them. They are people who can easily wear those tactics and become attractive because it matches for them and their clientelle.  Strangely enough, there’s no forcing their way into a client’s pocketbook because their might and power brings a message of help and change that their clients respond to.

Then there are the coaches who would like to think that they can be mighty and powerful (they certainly can be), but it’s just not who they are.  They are driven by love and compassion.  When they try to be mighty and powerful, it’s forced, inauthentic and client’s don’t buy it. Love and compassion can sometimes be seen as “weak” marketing methods.  Do you think the clergy in Charlottesville, who stood in a line with love and compassion, were weak?  Nope!  They sent a message too.  Their message was clear, “we stand together in spite of you.”  They still made the news.  They got positive press.  People acknowledged their  bravery in standing next to armed militia men.  There’s a photo of a black police officer standing in front of some people from the hate group, protecting them, doing his job.  He didn’t say a word, but we all know the irony of that picture.  He got a message across too.  These are mighty and powerful messages…but they weren’t acquired by mighty and powerful means.  They were acquired through love and compassion.

If you’ve been struggling with marketing, I encourage you to take a look at whether you are using might and power to get through to your potential clients or are you digging deep into love and compassion?  Where can you stand mightily and powerfully in love and compassion?  What words will you use?  What tactics will honor love and compassion?  Don’t ram yourself into your client’s pocket books.  Do what comes naturally to you.  Use who you are to easily attract those who are ready for your help in changing their lives.

You want to believe the slogans that say you can have $10,000/month in income now and make 6-figures in six months.  These statements give you hope.  Especially when you read about the person offering it and find out they’ve been right where you are now.

You tell yourself over and over again that you’re a coach and you will reach your goals.  If they can do it, so can you.  You can make it happen, therefore it will happen and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to get there.  You’re willing to be uncomfortable, stretch and push your limits.

You continually look for whatever nibble you can get on the tree of instant stardom. Hoping you’ll be the one to make it work.  No matter the cost, time or energy it takes.

You’re determined.  You have great tenacity.  You will not stop until you’ve successfully created a business that allows you to live out your purpose, change lives and make the world a better place.

You are an amazing coach who will change the world.

My wish for you is that you enjoy getting the word out about your business so much that it becomes second nature.

My wish for you is that you consistently touch people deeply resulting in relationships that lead to paying clients.

My wish for you is to have a foundation for your marketing that will support your values, help you make wise decisions and grow at a rate that fits your priorities.

If you were to look deep within your heart and ask the following three questions of yourself, how would you answer them?

What do you want in this moment?

What do you want your life to look like on the road to your dream?

Who do you want to be as you build your business?

You are a coach and I’m sure you’ve asked your clients questions like this, but are you asking them of yourself?

Most of us (me included) follow the pattern because we know someone before us tested this and found that the numbers add up and it’s the most effective way to go.  If you’re anything like me, you know that you’re not the best at analyzing these things, so it’s best to rely on someone else’s work.

What if that technical structure isn’t YOUR most effective structure?

The coaching industry is filled with coaches who struggle to get clients.  I truly believe that a big part of the problem is technical marketing.  Most coaches are creative.  We love to help people and are driven by relationship and/or inspired ideas.  This is how we show up during coaching sessions, group programs and speaking engagements.

Technical marketing is great for understanding what people need in order to buy from you, but there comes a point where it defines who you are as a coach.  This is where we have the opportunity to change the face of coaching.

Every bit of marketing for coaching is “the face” of coaching.  Over the last 10+ years I’ve watched the industry go from no one knowing what a coach is to most people having heard of a coach but not really understanding what that means.

Right now, I’m seeing a lot of social media blowback about the industry saying that coaches are taking money and not getting results “for” their clients.  The coaching industry is not trusted withing a large part of the population.  I’ve even had clients who’ve said to me “You’ve restored my faith in coaching.”  Before me, they didn’t trust it.  I had to earn that trust and it took a lot of time.

These complaints clearly come from people who don’t know what true coaching is about.

What they know is what they see in marketing.

What they see is technical marketing that lacks the depth a coach brings to the relationship.

What they see is a coach trying to be a good marketer.

What they NEED is an experience of the coach.

What if we ditched the structure and focused on BEing?

Who are you being in your marketing?  Are you being the coach or the marketer?

I’ve been working on this myself.  The more I own who I am as a coach in the work I do with my clients, the more I’ve had to own who I am as a coach in my marketing.  Let me tell you, I’ve studied a lot of marketing and that isn’t easy.  Day by day, I’m changing it up and it’s paying off.

I’m constantly challenging my clients to stop marketing and start being who they are (a coach) in their marketing.  The more they own it, the easier, more authentic and more attractive their marketing gets.  Relationships form faster and easier.  The right clients are contacting them.  Best of all they spend less time marketing and more time coaching.  I’m challenging you, as a coach, to step up and step out of the norm.  Be a coach!

I challenge you to join me.  Do you accept the #BeACoach challenge?

What’s your business dream?  Are you looking for the fastest way to get there?  If you’re anything like me.  You’re impatient.  I’ve always been a Veruca Salt kind of person.  You remember?  The spoiled brat in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.   Ok.  I may not literally go stomping around saying “I want it NOW!”  However, the little girl in my head does that quite frequently.

When my Veruca Salt rears her demanding head, it sends me out searching for the fastest path to get to my destination. The road that’s been proven and worked for other people.  The one with the easy to follow plan that will be exactly what I need to reach my goal.  ESPECIALLY when it comes to business.

For years, I gave into my Veruca Salt.  I fed her information, plans, easy to follow step-by-step workbooks. She ate every little bit of it up.  Yet, I still never reached my goal.  None of it got me where I wanted to go. Worst of all, I was really NOT enjoying these “plans” at all. While I may get a taste of success and enjoy that, the work to get there was draining every ounce of energy away.

That’s what happens when you go kicking and screaming down a path that isn’t yours to go down.

I’m pretty sure you didn’t get into business for yourself so that you could  do a whole bunch of tasks that drain your energy. I’m pretty sure you DID get into business to help people, have flexibility and enjoy your work more than you ever did in that JOB.

Why are we in such a hurry?

There are so many juicy experiences to have along the way.  The great thing about being an entrepreneur is that we get to create our own experience.  So, why are we in such a hurry to get to our end goal?  Why not enjoy the whole experience of growing our business?

Yes, there are bills to pay and there’s income to bring in.  There’s the income you can bring in today and there’s the ultimate income.  You’ll never get to the ultimate income if you don’t bring in something today.  Again, why are we in such a hurry?  Slow down.

When I was diagnosed with Diabetes, I didn’t jump head first into eating 1600 calories a day, walking a minimum of 5000 steps a day, doing 2 90 minute cardio events every week, getting off the couch to go somewhere every day or eating 15-13 grams of starch carb per meal.  Doesn’t that sound daunting?  That’s a lot do all at once!

I started with a focus.  Eat only 30-45 grams of carbs per meal.  In 3 months, I lost 15 pounds.  So, I added a new focus, move more.  After 4 years of adding in one focus at a time, I’m down 60 pounds, off my blood pressure meds and my numbers are below Diabetic levels.  Some people try to lose 60 pounds in a year.  I took 3.5 years.  I hear people talk about how hard it was to give up their favorite foods and work their bodies all the time. I enjoyed my journey.  I never felt like I was giving up anything or doing more than my body wanted to do.  I just did it and it was fun.

I apply the same philosophy to my business.  It’s taken me longer to get here than I would’ve liked, but I prefer to have my business and enjoy my life around it too.  What’s your preference?  Get there fast or enjoy the ride?

]]> http://coachesinternetmarketingsource.com/marketing-for-coaches-and-have-a-life-too/ /feed http://coachesinternetmarketingsource.com/marketing-for-coaches-sell-to-the-relationship/ http://coachesinternetmarketingsource.com/marketing-for-coaches-sell-to-the-relationship/ #comments Wed, 09 Mar 2016 12:45:36 +0000 Kristen Beireis, Trust Marketing Expert http://coachesinternetmarketingsource.com/?p=959 When I went to coaching school, one of the things we were taught was to design an alliance with our clients.  We were taught to help them find their agenda and set up what they want to work on through coaching.  We were taught to ask questions to clarify the objectives of our relationship and what their needs are in order to get what they desire.  We were taught to partner with our clients to make sure the relationship is beneficial to the client and honors the coach.  It’s a design that creates a whole new entity; the coaching relationship.

I’m listening to the book Trust-Based Selling by Charles H. Green.  In his book he states; “The relationship is the client, not the customer.”  If the relationship is the client, then in order to sell your coaching services, you need to create a strong coaching relationship that will thrive.

What does a thriving coaching relationship need?  It needs at least two things:

• A coach who is willing to be curious, ask questions, leave their agenda aside and focus on the Coach-ee.  Along with many other ethical commitments and skills.
• A Coach-ee with an agenda they are willing to share, explore and be challenged on while doing some pretty major self-introspection.

What else does a coaching relationship with YOU need to thrive?

What’s it going to take for YOU to create a successful and sustainable coaching relationship?

Who do YOU want to be while creating that kind of relationship?

When you focus on what it takes to build a coaching relationship, you no longer need a “client”.  You now need a partner.  You’re looking for a partner who is a good fit.  You will need to nurture that coaching relationship from the very beginning.  You’ll need to be the coach.  And not just when you get on the phone.  It starts in your writing, social networking, interviewing etc…

Now, I’m not saying to go out and coach for free and coach everyone you can find (while that may work for some people)!  I’m saying to start building the coaching relationship.  Take a look at your website, blog, social media, business cards, brochures etc…  Are you building the relationship as a coach looking for the other half of a coaching relationship?  Or are you trying to get a client?

As I listened to the words spoken about what Trust-Based Selling looks like, I found myself smiling from ear to ear.  Why?  Because Charles H. Green basically says that people who want to be Trust-Based Sellers just need to be coaches.  And we, as coaches, already know how to do that!  Imagine how much more difficult that might be for a Lawyer!

The problem is that we are trying to sell by way of sales training that so many other professionals understand and can make great success with.  However, we coaches have an edge on them.  We can build trust.  It’s innate in the skills that we learn as coaches.  People are tired of being marketed to.  They want a relationship.  Lucky you.  If you’re a coach, you may have the perfect relationship for them.

Stop trusting in processes and procedures that help you make a sale.

Trust in your skills as a coach.  Feed the relationship every step of the way.  And those who want to partner with you will trust you immediately.  Don’t make it about getting the client.  Use the power of AND.  Make it about the relationship you’re building together.

What do you think?  What do you think it looks like to sell to the relationship?

]]> http://coachesinternetmarketingsource.com/marketing-for-coaches-sell-to-the-relationship/ /feed http://coachesinternetmarketingsource.com/sometimes-i-feel-a-stab-in-the-heart/ http://coachesinternetmarketingsource.com/sometimes-i-feel-a-stab-in-the-heart/ #comments Thu, 28 Jan 2016 19:29:34 +0000 Kristen Beireis, Trust Marketing Expert http://coachesinternetmarketingsource.com/?p=944 Imagine you’re going through life, doing your own thing, with a dream of creating a business that honors your passions, values and allows you to create the change you wish to see in the world.  You love your business, have big ideas of how you want it to look and are working toward making that happen.  You know you’re doing great work in the world and you look forward to continuing it.

This is me, most of the time.  I say most of the time, because I have moments (some days, many moments) where it’s not all fine and dandy like that. Moments like when my mastermind partner, Kristi, says “If you don’t have a succession plan for your business, then your business is a hobby.”   I don’t have a succession plan and don’t plan to create a business that has one.  In that moment I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart.  I was flooded with the feelings of shame and guilt for not living up to what a business is supposed to be.  Why?  Because the voices in my head (created by much of what I’ve learned in marketing) translated that statement into:

“You aren’t running a legitimate business.”

“Your business is less than.”

“Think of a better way to run your business or you’ll never be taken seriously.”

While I know Kristi didn’t mean it that way (see her response here), these are the kind of messages that run rampant in the online world and especially when marketing to coaches.  We’re challenged every day to step up our game and think BIG.  What exactly does BIG mean?  Generally, the definition of BIG that I see/hear from so many marketers is 6 or 7 figures, jet setting around the world, charging $10,000/month for coaching and making sure we change the lives of the masses.

We ALL, individually, have our own unique definitions of BIG.

Um, I have a very different definition of BIG.  My version is making $50,000/year, mostly staying in the Southwest Ohio area with maybe one or two trips a year that I get paid to make, charging $475/mo for ongoing coaching and changing the lives of 5 ongoing clients at a time, 5-10 others on an introductory basis and maybe one or two group programs a year with a few products.  My version of BIG  is allowing a long lead time due to having a deep connection beforehand.  My referral partners are very close friends with lots of love and sharing between us.  My business is designed around connection and building deep relationships with clients over time.  Speaking of time, I only work in and on my business 20-25 hours/wk (including calls and networking), because my life outside my business is a high priority for me.  I haven’t reached all my goals yet and for some I have no idea what it looks like yet. Every year, though, I get little pieces of my BIG business in place.  It will come.

Ask the voices in my head and they will tell you my whole plan is doomed to fail, because this is not the way to run a business.  On one hand, I could care less!  I like going against the grain and doing things my way much better.  On the other hand, when I see all these messages telling me I should be doing the opposite, it’s a little hard to swallow.  Am I insane?  Maybe.  Do I care?  Not really.  I’m pretty good at getting the voices in my head back in check, but it’s getting harder as these definitions of BIG seem to be more prevalent every day.  Or are they?  Maybe I’m just seeing them more because I’m in a place where my teenager is totally rebelling against the 6 figure track.

I wonder how many others are feeling stabbed in the heart too. There must be a better way to promote BIG to the coaching industry.  I mean, we’re coaches.  We promote individuality, owning who we are and choosing the life we want.  If every coach built the same kind of BIG business, what would that do to the coaching industry?  We need a variety of different kinds of businesses at all levels to be able to reach the masses as a whole.  I propose that we change the marketing message from “Go BIG or go home.” to “What’s going BIG mean to you?”  Who’s with me?

Have you ever had a colleague who was working on a marketing project and added something new to it?  Their language may be something like “I just heard of this really great new way to boost my results, so I’m adding it into my upcoming campaign.”   This is the first symptom of SOS.

When I was doing Virtual Assistant work, a lot of my clients were going through website updates.  As the person who was in charge of implementing the changes, I was happy to do whatever my clients asked.  So, I’d get started.  A week into the project, I’d get an e-mail about some website they found with information on how to make their website more effective and they would ask me to add that in.  Another week into the project, they’d hear from a marketing guru that we need to change the orientation of a picture and I needed to change it.  Then two weeks later, there would be a rewrite on the text, because a new concept about how to write copy came out.  And this would happen throughout a project.

Here’s another example that seems extreme, but I see it frequently.  A coach is in the first year of their business and they want to learn everything they can about marketing.  They read some books, take some teleclasses, talk to some people who have been there and hire someone to help them get everything done.

All of this sounds smart doesn’t it?  Yes, it’s smart to research and add in things that will be more effective.  However, there’s a piece all these people missed that puts them in the Shiny Object Syndrome category.   WHY?  When I asked for a reason to make changes or why they hired someone to help them, the answer was “Because they said so.”

Shiny Object Syndrome is when you end up spending more time, energy and money because you kept looking for the next shiny object.

Each change I made as a VA cost my client money, because it meant more time on the project.  If you try several different new things in a marketing campaign, you won’t know which one worked.  If you’re constantly spending energy looking for something new, you’re not spending as much energy on the things that are already in place (and possibly working for you).

What drives me most crazy is that so many people are adding tons of things to their to-do list that might not even be something THEY, specifically, need to do.  If you are walking around looking for the next great shiny thing to do in your marketing, that is the first symptom.  Don’t let it get out of hand.  Ask why YOU should do it?  Make sure it’s a fit for you, your vision, your values and your focus before you commit to anything.

There’s another big piece to this role, in particular, that is really coming to the forefront for me; vulnerability. I’ve never done such an emotional role and had no idea how far I could go with it (still don’t! We’re just getting into the thick of rehearsals).  While I know the Musical Director well, I don’t know anyone else involved in the show.  As with most shows I’ve done, I have no idea what’s expected of me early on in the process.

For this show, I really wanted to get to the emotion early, so I’d have time to explore where it needs to go by performance time.  The first time I did my solo in front of the group, I wanted to have some emotion.  So, I prepared and let it happen.  Of course, I wondered if people were going to think I was getting there too early, if they’d be talking about it later and making fun of me…I had no idea what their reaction would be and I was scared…but I did it anyway.  Gotta love theatre!  Always feeling the fear and doing it anyway.  I had tears well up and allowed that to just be.  I allowed myself to feel what I felt in that moment.  Thankfully, everyone in the room understood what I was doing and responded as if it was nothing.  *whew* That’s when I knew, I could safely feel without judgement.

Now, you might be wondering what this has to do with marketing.  Have you ever had that moment where you wrote a marketing piece that made you nervous?  Where you weren’t quite sure if you wanted to put it out there, because you had no idea whether the rest of the world would accept it or not?  When you work in your passion, you end up putting yourself out into the world in big ways, which can be very scary or down right paralyzing.  It can also have a huge payoff by attracting the right clients and deterring the wrong ones.

How vulnerable do we have to be in marketing?  You do need to share who you are to build trust.  When people can relate to you, they will trust you.  They can’t relate if they don’t know who you are.  So, you need to be vulnerable enough to share what YOU think, feel and believe about your topic.  Extreme vulnerability can lead to sharing things that people really don’t need to know and things that turn the right people off.  Very little vulnerability can make you seem closed off and unapproachable.  It’s your job to find the happy medium.  If you’re feeling nervous about putting something out there, here are some ways to find that happy medium.  Make sure:

1. It relates to what you do in your business.
2. There’s a purpose in putting it out there (something for people to learn, use etc…).
3. You don’t skim the surface.  If you’re gonna go there, share your experience, feelings etc… Dig in.
4. You’re talking about yourself and not blaming, ranting or going on about how someone else is wrong.

Out of integrity, I can’t say those things in my marketing.  I don’t believe I can make you a 6 figure coach or give you the plan that’s going to skyrocket your business to success.  Don’t take that the wrong way!  I DO believe in my talents, skills and abilities, they just aren’t put together to take you from zero to $100,000 overnight.  It’s not what I do and I own that.

Are you owning who you are in your marketing?  Do you take people from zero to sixty in 3-6 months?  Or are you like me and believe that slow and steady wins the race?  Or are you somewhere else?  What can you promise and still be in integrity?

Don’t tromp on your own integrity because someone said you had to.

If you are learning marketing from someone and it feels icky, then you are tromping on your own integrity and your own values.