Life with Coco and Gigi

27 Weeks

2012-02-16T04:21:00.004-05:00

I had my latest growth scan yesterday and everything looks good with the little man. He's measuring at around 2 pounds 2 ounces which puts him at the 20th percentile. He's still small but growing well. There was nothing of any concern!

Our little man:

Can you see him?

A better experience

2012-02-14T09:46:00.000-05:00

Last night Brian and I had the opportunity to take a tour of the hospital where we will be delivering Baby. We did not have a good experience at the hospital we had the girls at. At the time it was the only Level 3 NICU so we were stuck. Since that time a brand spanking new hospital has been built and it is amazing. We quickly decided that this time around we would opt for the newer, nicer, closer hospital.

The tour was brief but quickly showed how much better our experience will likely be. The baby is never taken from you (unless NICU time is needed). No hour away for testing, cleaning, etc. They are very, very, very supportive of nursing and bonding which I loved. The rooms are all private and have a lot more accomodations than the old hospital.

So we are both incredibly hopeful to have a better, more positive birth experience with this baby. Here's hoping!

Third Trimester

2012-02-13T09:25:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I hit the 27 week mark. They won't allow me to go past 39 weeks so I am within 12 weeks now. Different sources mark the start of the third trimester at different dates but most mark it somewhere around the 27 week mark.

It is insane to think I am already this close to the end. At this point Baby is about 2 pounds and almost 15 inches long. Considering ABby was born at 17 inches and 4.14 it is a little mind boggling. If he were born today he would have a 90% chance of survival. It is such a load off my mind to know he is growing so big and strong!

So 12 more weeks. When I go to the OB next week we will be scheduling the c-section. I am having some early signs of maybe not lasting the full 39 weeks but hopefully I'll get close to it.

Stressed!

2012-02-12T09:21:00.000-05:00

Not sure if it's the pregnancy or life or what but man am I stressed. I feel like I live much of my life with a fair amount of stress. I manage it fairly well so I rarely feel bogged down by it. That is not the case right now. I guess when it rains is just has a way of pouring.

The girls have been wild. I am starting to feel worn down. We've had a nasty cold and then a stomach virus over the past two weeks. Brian and I have been at odds over a few things. My Dad has been feeling lousy. Work is nuts. And on and on. It's the normal, run of the mill stress. It just seems to be piling up pretty high lately.

I am trying to see it in a different way. It's piling up now so it can lighten up later. I'm not sure I believe it but I got to try. :D

Will it be easier?

2012-02-10T10:56:00.000-05:00

Obviously adding a third child to my brood isn't going to be easy. I totally get that. Instead of worrying about two almost five year olds I will have to worry about them PLUS the needs of a tiny person PLUS make sure the two bigger kids don't kill the little kid. ;D But I still find myself wondering in some ways will it be easier this go around.

There are a few reasons. First and foremost is the fact that there is only going to be one of him. And yes, I know that I will still have THREE kids not one but having only one newborn has to be easier than two... one of which was colicky. The other thought that keeps swimming in my head is that all of that "new mother" worry and angst will be lighter. I think of all the time I spent worrying about EVERY. SINGLE. DETAIL. I can't see myself doing it this time. I will have too much on my plate to be worrying about every single wet diaper and keeping track of how many minutes he sleeps.

So will this make it any easier? I don't know. I've read mixed thoughts. Some people swear adding the third child is the straw that breaks the camels back. We have a neighbor who refers to it as going from man coverage to a zone defense. :D (I like that one!) But other people swear that with each child you add your experience is that much greater and thus... a little easier.

I guess for now I want to live with the delusion that it WILL be easier in some way. I guess I need that in order to sleep at night. Or at least try to sleep. ;D

My Girls

2012-02-07T01:03:00.000-05:00

I hate that I have barely cracked open my camera case in the past few months. Life has a way of getting in the way sometimes. Thankfully the iPhone and Instagram are allowing me a few shots here are there.

Delivery

2012-02-06T03:58:00.000-05:00

It has officially been decided that I will have another C-section. For most of my pregnancy the OB has told us that we can chose to do a VBAC or just go ahead with the C-section. As we've gotten closer to the third trimester (just a couple more weeks!) the opinion has been changing slightly. Between the placenta previa, history of cysts rupturing during my last delivery, and a few other factors the doc is more comfortable with a scheduled c-section. Since I had one last time and did well I wasn't about to fight with them.

So in three weeks we will schedule my c-section for 39 weeks. That puts me around the first week of May. Seems like a nice time to have a baby. :D

We will not be delivering in the same hospital as last time. The first reason is I switched OB's since last time (my OB left her practice). The second was that we were not thrilled with our care last time. We had the girls at Cooper because they have a high level NICU. Hopefully this guy won't even need the NICU so that isn't a factor. We also happen to live ten minutes from the newest hospital in the country. They are supposed to be cutting edge and awesome for maternity.

We are now under 100 days away from meeting this baby. Getting excited!

Quick update on my Dad

2012-02-04T09:26:00.000-05:00

For those of you who are praying (hopefully for my Dad and my cousin Blaise!) KEEP THEM COMING!!! My Dad just had is third round of chemo. He will have six so he is halfway home. The doctors are incredibly pleased with how he's doing. His side effects of the chemo are minimal. He may be bald and skinny, but he's kicking cancers a$$! The doctor said on Thursday that he could feel no nodes or tumors and he cancelled the tests they were going to run to see if the chemo is working. The doc is very confident that it's doing it's thing.

So keep praying and hopefully he can beat this thing!

I don't have two kids

2012-02-03T06:45:00.004-05:00

I have figured out how to manage most of the tricky Mom questions that I come across. I have good answers for why Abby is so much smaller than Grace despite them being twins. I have a quick answer for why Abby flaps and why Grace freaks out in the store when the heater noise comes on. The one question I still toil with is a simple one. "How many kids do you have?" Most of the time I say two and move on. But in my head I know how complicated this one is.

I don't have two kids. I have the girls but I also have Genna and Will and Jordan. I have loved them from the moment they were born and I have loved them as my own. I have had the birds and bees discussion. I have had to issue the punishments. I have gotten the hugs and the smiles. I have cleaned up the puke and wiped the butts. I have done the Mom things. I love them as my own.

Yet somehow people just can't understand how two families can co-parent kids the way we do. They don't know understand how I can love all five of them exactly the same. It is incredibly frustrating. It's "normal" for a divorced couple to raise kids in two households but somehow Brian and I sharing the load with my parents is WEIRD.

People talk a good game about diversity. About how every family is different and that's okay. Yet somehow people still look and ask stupid questions and make rude comments about our family. I consider us the lucky ones. Most kids are lucky if they get two parents who love them unconditionally. Our kids each get FOUR. That's downright amazing. In other cultures this type of philosophy, "it take s village", is more widespread. But we get so caught in our own views of a Mom and a Dad. Why not two Moms, two Dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and on and on? Can there be any such thing as too much love? I definitely don't think so!

My house is loud and messy and my kids eat me out of house and home... but I love every single second. I'm the luck one.

Anyone who doesn't get... just doesn't get it. :D

Give me a moment

2012-02-02T00:55:00.001-05:00

This morning I woke up and cried. Not for very long. Just long enough to feel the tears burn my eyes for a second. Not for any reasons in particular. Maybe because I caught a cold. Maybe because a cold means I have to stay away from my dad for days. Maybe because if I don't feel better I'll have to watch the Super Bowl for the first time without my dad. Maybe because I'm six months pregnant and tired and running myself a little ragged. Maybe because I didn't sleep last night and the kids decided seven am was late enough. Maybe because my husband is having a career choice crisis and has been working late too often leaving me with the kids and housework and everything else.

It wasn't until hours later that I had a clue what it was. It dawned on me that in the six months I have been pregnant it has been so incredibly hard. Losing a baby. Almost losing this one. Cancer. Canceling long awaited trips of a lifetime. Family drama. Normal life stress. And on and on.

Through almost all of it there has been no time to be fragile or weak. There has been no time to sit down and cry. No time to break down or have hormonal rants. No resting, no down time, minimal ability to let others take care of things. Ninety nine percent of the time it's fine. But that one percent I feel cheated. As if life has stolen this time from me. Time when I should be able to hand over some of my stress and work to others. Instead I find myself stifling the urge to complain. How can you complain when you know things could be so much worse? How can you whine about being tired when people around you are going through chemo? You can't and you don't.

But meanwhile I'm tired. I'm stressed. I want to take a nap. I want to go more than five minutes without having to pee. I want to sleep more than an hour at a time because either a four year old needs something or a baby won't stop dancing on my bladder.

It's probably not worth crying over. But maybe for just one second.

25 week belly

2012-02-01T06:51:00.000-05:00

Growing, and growing and growing!

Although when I look back at around this point with the girls I feel tiny. :D

25 Weeks

2012-01-30T17:46:00.000-05:00

Hard to believe I am already 25 weeks along. In 15 (or probably less) few short weeks Baby will be here. It has suddenly dawned on us that we had better get moving on the nursery, arrangements, getting the house in order, buying what we need to buy, etc. All of the things that we spent nine months doing when I was pregnant with the girls are going to get crammed into two or three. Should be interesting!

As of this week I am doing very well. The nausea only comes occasionally. My back aches a little but NOTHING like when I was having the girls. I have some restless leg in the evenings but not too bad. I wish I could sleep a little better but I guess I should be used to that by now. As I near the third trimester I am starting to feel a little bit more run down in the afternoons. As a working Mom of two kids I think this just goes with the territory.

I feel the baby move/dance ALL THE TIME! He is a mover and a shaker. Unfortunately he seems to have his days and nights mixed up already. Could mean bad things for me in a few months. ;D I go to the OB this week and will have my one hour glucose tolerance test. I am praying to pass and avoid diabetes and insulin this time around. In a couple of weeks I have another growth scan to make sure he's growing well.

I am having contractions (Braxton Hicks) every day. I see the OB this week so I am guessing there is a chance she'll start the NST's early. I guess we shall see.

But overall I'm doing great. Being pregnant with one is proving to be a little easier than I thought. In the beginning I was so disappointed in how crappy I was feeling despite being pregnant with one. Now I am reaping the benefits!

The need to just be

2012-01-27T07:04:00.002-05:00

The other night Abby looks at me and said "Mom, you're being so nice to me tonight." My initial instinct was to ask "what, am I mean the rest of the time?" I stifled that urge and just smiled. One part of me wanted to laugh and the other part wanted to cry.

In the past couple of weeks I have been trying to devote myself to spending a little time just being with them. Playing on the floor, reading to them, talking, or whatever they want to do. I feel like as a Mom (and especially a working Mom) I spend so much of my time trying to get everything done that I don't spend any time JUST BEING.

The reality is that "everything" will never be done. I have to remind myself that just as soon as I finish "everything" four more things will arrive at the top of the list. Because of that it's critical to schedule time to be a Mom. To be a person. To be me for five minutes.

So hopefully my kids will be noticing a fair amount of nicer Mom. Maybe she will be a little messier and behind on laundry but nicer. :D

My latest "venture"

2012-01-26T00:08:00.000-05:00

I have been considering starting a new blog. I actually went to the trouble, about six months ago, of setting it up, tweaking the design and creating a few posts. I have been on the fence about whether or not I want to manage a THIRD blog. I am still not 100% sure what I want to do with it. What I do know is that I want to blog some of what I have been up to. I have devoted so much time in the past year to cooking, gardening and canning that I wanted to chronicle some of our experiences. I am hoping to show that even a super busy Mom has time to grow, cook and can her own food!

Over the summer we started getting into canning. We bought our water bath canner and canned tomatoes, apples, peaches, jelly, and a few other things. Since we had such great success we looked into canning things like soups and stews. I did a ton of research and finally invested in a pressure canner. It sat in the box for about four months before I got brave enough to try it. I read the instructions about ten times so I was sure not to blow up the kitchen or myself.

I finally braved my first batch of chicken rice soup. I was nervous as heck and at one point thought for sure the canner was going to explode but it didn't. It was a success. I cooked and canned seven quarts of my from scratch, homemade chicken rice soup!

Since my Dad got sick he has been able to eat fairly well. One of the things he likes best is soup and lucky for him soup is my specialty. SO for the past two months I have made (and canned) so much soup it's a little ridiculous. Chicken rice, vegetable, ham and bean, ham and corn chowder, ham and lentil and on and on. We have managed to put five pounds on his skinny body!!!

Now when I can I can do it in about two hours (including processing time) where it was taking my almost three. The best part is I LOVE making homemade, organic, often grown from my own garden foods. Makes me feel like I am doing something special for them.

Not sure if the new blog will get up and running. I am considering it. Just a place to talk recipes, canning, gardening, etc. Something to ponder...

Gag reflex

2012-01-25T00:04:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately my poor daughter (Grace) was born with my gag reflex. The girls pukes at the drop of a dang hat! It drives me insane but I have the same affliction so I feel bad for her. The other night, right as we were finishing dinner, something in her dinner (I think it was a rogue scallion) caused her to gag. Because her stomach was full she puked. Of course, with me being pregnant, this caused a chain reaction and I too "popped". (Sorry to be gross!)

The odd part was that in the process of puking I popped the blood vessels around my eyes really, really bad. I have done this before but this one was really bad.

So today I look like someone punched me. I get a lot of interesting looks being six months pregnant and looking like I've been hit. ;D Not funny... but a little funny.

Have I mentioned how much I "love" being pregnant??? ;D

Contractions already

2012-01-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

When I was pregnant with the girls I started having Braxton Hicks contractions early. I always thought it was mostly because I was having twins. But here I am again, 24 weeks along and BAM contractions. Nothing to be concerned about at this point. Nothing more than a couple an hour but they're here. Usually water and rest make them go away. They don't hurt but they do startle you a little when they happen out of no where. Just hoping I have a very long while before any real contractions start. :D

Short changed

2012-01-23T07:15:00.000-05:00

I have been working on putting together a registry for the new baby. I wasn't planning on it but after the third person asked where I was registering I figured I might as well put one together. So I sat down on my computer and started perusing the Target web site. I was immediately taken back to when I registered for the girls. I spent hours pouring over every single detail. I registered at two places and registered for every little thing I could possibly need.

This time I found the experience SO different. First I was incredibly overwhelmed as I remember how many things we would need for this baby. Buying all of the baby needs was so fun the first time around. Now I feel like I just see dollar signs. I guess it's because I now know the realities of raising kids. It's not all cute bedding sets and the perfect combination of swings and bouncers.

The second thought that came to mind was that this poor kid is going to get short changed in these areas. Being the first babies, and being twins, and being born to infertile parents made for the perfect storm of shopping, planning and decorating. For this baby... I am not guessing the nursery will be looking perfect when I still have two months left to go.

Hopefully he will never notice the lack of baby pictures compared with the girls six million. I know that I am going to have to make a concerted effort to not miss the important stuff. I just pray that I have the energy to finish a nursery and get everything we need in time.

Working Mom

2012-01-20T08:33:00.000-05:00

I am a working Mom. In some respects I am the luckiest kind. I get to work from my home and be with my kids. In some respects I am the least lucky kind... I work from my home and I am with my kids 24 HOURS A DAY! ;D

My job(s) never end. I can't pack up and go home. My students know that I am technically available around the clock. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have spent five years building up my seniority enough to be chosen for the better classes and better schedule. I am now at the top of the list for when an extra class becomes available. Just this week a class became available THE DAY BEFORE THE SEMESTER BEGAN and it was given to me. (I love the extra money in my stipend but I had 24 hours to do what I usually do in three or four weeks!)

What makes me a little nuts is how, when people find out you work at home, they only see the up sides. They rarely realize that I am often juggling my boss, my students AND two four year olds. Prioritizing my day can be insane. I can't count the amount of time I have been on a call with a student with two kids crying in the background... so professional. :D

Overall I love my job. I love psychology and I love teaching so it's a great combo. There are days I wish I could go back to clinical practice but I have the rest of my life for that. Many days I feel downright washed away by having so much on my plate but at the same time I love the fact that I have a job other than MOMMY. I love keeping my feet in the working world.

This semester I have a full course load. In fact I haven't had this many classes in about three years. It figures it's when I am expecting a baby but beggars can't be choosers. Hopefully baby will wait to be born until my classes are just about over. The semester ends the day before my due date so I doubt it. :D Over the summer I will teach a light load and then in the fall I will go back to a full load. It'll be hard but worth it. I'll sleep when my kids are grown. :D

SOPA/PIPA

2012-01-18T15:05:00.002-05:00

Unless you live under a rock you have probably heard about the SOPA/PIPA initiative. If you are like me and don't feel the government has any right to restrict the internet in this way go to GOOGLE today and sign the petition.

CLICK HERE

Gonna be a long winter

2012-01-17T07:50:00.000-05:00

I remember at one point last winter feeling as if I was going to lose my mind. The girls were wild. The weather sucked. We didn't get out much. It was a perfect storm for horrible behavior. I swear that all of the inside time makes every issue we deal with with the girls grow bigger and bigger. It looks like this year will be no different.

We are barely into winter. The weather here has barely even been cold. Yet, as the days get colder and colder the behavior gets worse and worse. They're not sleeping well. They fight non-stop. They are making a career of trying to drive us both absolutely nuts.

When the weather is warmer we get lulled into a false sense of security. They are outside more, therefore behave better when we are inside AND they sleep better. Ever summer I start thinking how much they are "outgrowing their issues". Then the winter comes and I get whacked in the face with reality.

So there is:

Spring Countdown

AND COUNTING!

They're cute sometimes

2012-01-16T02:35:00.002-05:00

I have an iPhone and most days I couldn't like without the dang thing. My niece just turned me on to Instagram. I am in love with that app!

I haven't had much time for pics lately but having this on my phone helps a lot!

21 Weeks

2012-01-14T04:10:00.000-05:00

Forgot to post the last u/s picture:

Different

2012-01-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

Being pregnant with twins was exhausting. Between the diabetes, HUGE stomach, back pain, choleostasis (liver dysfunction that causes insane itching), constant nausea, legs cramps, and on and on I felt like I ran a marathon daily. All that being said I still enjoyed it. I didn't love being pregnant but I can remember thinking, around 30 weeks, that I was just not ready to be done being pregnant. I barely was sleeping and felt crappy but growing those little people was amazing.

This time around things feel different. I guess because I have a crazy life, with two kids full time, three more part time and a million things on my plate. I want to keep this bean cooking as long as I can but I don't think there will be any part of me that wants to stay pregnant. I have heard people say to enjoy a first pregnancy because no matter how tough it is it's the only one you'll have time to enjoy. Boy were those people right.

So, 18 more weeks. In just 18 weeks I'll be done being pregnant (forever!!!). I'll have a new person to care for. And while I'm not looking forward to the sleepless nights and poopy diapers that lie ahead I am definitely looking forward to NOT being pregnant.

Chemo - Take 2

2012-01-12T03:17:00.000-05:00

Today begins round two of chemo for my Dad. He responded really well to round one and we are hoping that is a good sign. That being said we also know that round 1 of chemo is considered the "honeymoon" round where you get your hopes up that symptoms might not be too bad.

My Dad has already lost his hair AND 55 pounds. I am praying like mad (naively I know) that this is the worst of it. I pray that the nausea isn't too awful. I pray that he doesn't have to be hospitalized. I pray that he doesn't lose any more weight and end up with a feeding tube. Most of all I pray that IT WORKS!

What I am thankful for is that we are a close family. We might be in each others business and fight like cats and dogs sometimes this is when it matters. These are the times when a support system is huge. What one person can't do, another picks up the slack. It works for us. I am thankful we can provide my Dad with that.

So pray for an effective cycle. Pray the symptoms are minimal. And pray (most of all) that it blasts the hell out of those lymphoma cells!

Echo

2012-01-11T04:00:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was the echocardiagram. Thankfully his heart looked perfect. I also got to see a 3-d shot of his little face. Man is he cute! They printed pics but the shot in the pics is just downright creepy. :D What I saw on the screen was way cuter. He has a very round face and a cute button nose (like his sisters).

Glad we can check on more thing off of our list. Also of good news is that he was breech. If he stays that way it will help with getting a good u/s of the brain next week. If that's the case we can avoid an MRI!