Turtles Rule It

turtles figure in major sex sting

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 23:54:00 +0000

Several highly-trained turtles, implanted with tiny GPS and recording devices played a vital role in a major sex sting last Thursday that broke up Manhattan’s infamous BDJ high-class prostitution ring. According to an unnamed source at the FBI, the turtles performed heroically in the final stages of the months-long undercover operation. “When people open the door and it’s just a turtle, they don’t suspect anything. They usually just let it in and get on with their business.”

The turtles will be honored at a special ceremony in Washington before being retrained for an as yet undisclosed mission.

Iranian man executed for speaking out against turtles

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 23:44:00 +0000

Note: We at this blog support free speech and condemn the execution of any citizen for expressing his or her views. But good riddance.

sex scandal rocks D.C. aquarium

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 00:55:00 +0000

crackdown in kosovo ahead of referendum vote

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 20:32:00 +0000

turtle sick of all the filth

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 18:01:00 +0000

new york restaurant agrees to pay undisclosed sum

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:26:00 +0000

to local turtle.

Serbia returns famed Lipizzaner turtles to Croatia

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:17:00 +0000

your girlfriend’s a turtle! thank god

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:12:00 +0000

paradise

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 19:51:00 +0000

new fossil sheds light on other fossils

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 23:51:00 +0000

study shows effects of Deerhoof on turtles

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 02:44:00 +0000

0:04

0:34

Houston

not much happened today, and that's alright

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 18:07:00 +0000

getting it right

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 20:41:00 +0000

"notorious s.i.x." hatch plan to rule bathroom by next week.

Maryland

the day of your independence

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 17:01:00 +0000

this turtle was rescued from non-existence by la lilith on this day, september 22, 2007.

Columbia

wax, polish, personalize

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 01:05:00 +0000

Free wax, polish and detailing if you sign up for any of our personalized shell mods or a complete makeover. Many examples of exciting artwork on display in our showroom. Spoilers give you the look of speed. Neon underlights available. Think it over, then call us.

we are coming to your town

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 21:57:00 +0000

The finest whores in the land. At good prices. Let them say what they will, but we are here. At the motel by the big cliff. Come and find out what it’s all about. Don’t come if you are the police. Cash only. No receipts. Video recording negotiatable.

Richard Serra pays due tribute

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 18:04:00 +0000

The Terrapin Symphony by kevin cornell

a good day for crying

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 21:33:00 +0000

The below turtle was rescued on this day, September 8th, 2007. Send us your turtle rescue stories.

Raleigh

group of turtles caught misbehaving at prominent FL beach

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 20:12:00 +0000

Craig senate seat to be filled by turtle

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 03:29:00 +0000

The turtle was well know around some ponds and tributaries in southern Missouri before being adopted by a family in Idaho where he now resides. He is best known for his numerous appearances on YouTube and occasionally Flickr. He is expected to bring a new level of calm and stability to the office.

weekly inspections to resume in Derbyshire.

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 02:30:00 +0000

Lord Attacker crushes competition, brings home sweet victory

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 01:38:00 +0000

thousands flock to London’s Notting Hill Carnival

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 00:23:00 +0000

turbo the turtle

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 22:28:00 +0000

“I have a story about a lost turtle in my friend's apartment complex. It just turned up on his doorstep one day and he named it Turbo.” – VioletFullMoon

London

L.A. turtles caught in sex scandal

noreply@blogger.com (Cold Bacon) — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 18:01:00 +0000