To begin, here’s a bit of backstory…

We’ve had a lot going on lately, which is largely why you haven’t heard from me since January. I know how cliché it is to bemoan the busyness of modern life, so I’ll spare you the minutiae and leave you with a bulleted list:

• We have a new baby boy on the way, due to arrive in December.
• We were looking for a new house and just recently moved (whilst very pregnant).
• At the end of last year I was chosen along with seven other doctors to embark on a very ambitious national project (you can see more about it here) designed to double our impact in each of our communities and capture a documentary about the changes.  That project just finished in August.

This time has easily been the most hectic in my life.  It has also been a period of rapid personal growth and continues to be deeply rewarding on many levels.  I finally learned the value of singular focus over an extended period of time.

During this season of life I have been forced to be incredibly intentional with the minutes of my day and also the importance of constantly guarding my mind from distraction (I use the doorman principle).

As you can guess, this can make for a rigid routine if you’re not using some of that intention to create space.  Here’s what happened in my space this morning.

My little boy – who since moving to our new house decided 6:15 is a great time to wake up – came and joined us in bed. As he lay between Casey and I, he would slowly shuffle his feet and rub my beard stubble with his left hand. He would talk in a whisper and snuggle with his Mommy. Sometimes he would rub her belly and say “baby in there.”

It was a perfect moment of gratitude and joy. My heart was so full and at peace, setting the tone for the entire day. And it all would have been missed if I had rushed to begin my hectic schedule, or began checking emails, or given in to any of the other demands on my time that take me out of the moment at hand.

A Monday beginning that way would have sucked. This Monday has been pretty awesome. Create some space for yourself, find room to breathe, and watch your day unfold with gratitude.

click image to enlarge

First off, you are so very deeply loved and you have changed me, for the better, more than any other life event. Hands down. Ever. But I didn’t get emotional and cry when you were born, like I thought I would. I always heard people talk about an instant bond or connection with their newborn and an overwhelming sense of gratitude. It’s not that I didn’t have that, in my own way, but it was different than I had heard described by other moms. And it was different than I thought it would be.

I was surprisingly calm and I just wanted to look at you and figure out all the details of your brand new little self. I initially just thought maybe we’d just look into each others eyes and connect like old soul mates and be a little family of best friends, instantly.

When that didn’t happen I felt like maybe I has messed up somewhere. Maybe I just didn’t “get it” and I had missed the mark. But as time went on, and you and I both grew, it all made sense. We didn’t need to have an instant, blinding connection upon our first moments together, because we’ve built it, over time, during these past 14 months. And it’s stronger now than ever.

I am so grateful for you, for my experience giving birth to you, and for the joy, love, and amazement you open my eyes to every single day.

Just because my connection with you didn’t start out how I expected it to, that doesn’t make it any less real or powerful. You and your daddy are the most amazing guys and you make me want to be better each day. You are inspirational!

But if I’m being completely honest, I think that I will probably get emotional and cry if I give birth to a little sibling for you in the future. Not because I will automatically have a connection with him, but because I will know that he will strengthen me and open my eyes to love and joy, just as you have, my Cillian.

My wife really is an amazing mother.  We have an anniversary coming up, and while I was thinking about it in her absence I came across something I wrote for her a few years ago, pre-baby.  It’s funny that as we’ve become parents, it rings more true than before.

Anniversarius

As time has aged us
We assumed our roles faithfully
Creating our world while
Changing along the way.
You are not the girl I fell in love with
You are more…
Lover
Partner
Cherished friend.

Somewhere I lost myself
To become Yours.
Living for your every heartbeat
Existing for your very breath.
Even though luster has worn to comfort
You still fill me with awe…
a glance
a smile
a childish laugh.

Looking back at our beginnings
Admiring how we’ve come so far
I never imagined a life this full
A romance this deep.

When reviewing at some of the statistics for Haiti, it’s pretty harrowing (from Arise Haiti):

• Population of 8.5 million, 46% of which is under 15 years old.
• Literacy rate: 54.8%
• Infant mortality rate: 74/1000
• Post secondary education: less than 1%
• Unemployment rate: 80%
• Life expectancy: 49-52 years

That’s a far cry from the problems I encounter on a daily basis – so much so it seems like a different world.  It’s easy to turn a blind eye to these places, I’ve done it for years (Jeff Goins’ book Wrecked helped flip the switch).

Today, I can’t wait to be immersed in it.  To serve.  To love.  To be a light amongst crushing darkness.

Please pray for our team and Arise Haiti next week as we work to meet the many needs of the Haitian people.  I’ll be recounting our journey here, so stay tuned.

COMMIT AND GO

Early on I was fortunate enough to have a mentor that drilled this into me: success = decisiveness.  The only wrong decision is simply not making one.  What you can do is be prepared and informed, knowing that either choice will have things you are thankful for and things you regret, things that are hard and things that are easy.  But the key is committing and not looking back – No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God – Luke 9:62.

By moving forward – even if you are failing forward (cue Michael Jordan) – you are succeeding, you are growing, you are changing.  Need help making a decision?  Consult Ben Franklin’s method.  Don’t have time to deliberate?  Then go with your gut, knowing that the trial lies more in making the decision than the outcome.

Personal Experience:  As I was finishing up grad school, I spent the last 6 months agonizing over what to do when I finished.  I could take a job and return to my hometown in Illinois, or I could move to North Carolina where I didn’t know anyone and open up a business.  I made list upon list (and lists for my lists!), analyzing, deliberating, and ultimately worrying about what would happen.  I didn’t trust myself to make the right decision, so I asked everyone I knew (not a helpful exercise).  What did I accomplish with all this focused thought?  Wasting a chunk of life by standing still.  I returned to Illinois for a year, and then moved out here to NC and have not looked back since (which provided me with another lesson – there are times you do put all your eggs in one basket, because you will try harder.  Don’t hedge against yourself).

IT IS LESS ABOUT YOU THAN YOU THINK

As part of human nature, we tend to make our decisions and our lives about how things affect us.  Without a purpose we default to selfishness, which is myopic as it is hard to see outside of our own circumstance.  Those who are truly successful devote themselves to a calling, a purpose, and make decisions that transcend themselves and support that purpose.

Example: The book of 1 Peter says that we are called to purpose, and tells us of Jesus’ purpose (He died for our sins so that we die to the power of sin’s deceit which tries to persuade us that a better future can be had through sin than through righteousness) and devotion to that purpose until the end.  That kind of faithfulness changes the world.

When you remove yourself from the equation, it also serves to strip away conflicting emotions that you feel associated with the outcome.  Your purpose and values can quickly determine what is congruent for you to do, eliminating the “tyranny of choice” that can be felt from having too many options.  This has proven true for me time and time again, as I am prone to getting too wrapped in up my own head projecting what may happen with each possible choice.  It is not until I remove my own attachment and emotional investment that my purpose shows me the way.  Ironically, it seems like an epiphany every time this happens…you think I would have learned to get out of my own way by now!

MOVING FORWARD

What keeps you standing still in the face of change?  What strategies do you use in decision making?  Have a good story about failing forward?  Continue the discussion in the comments below.

Live Abundantly,

Causation? No.

Correlation? Yes.

Why Motion is Crucial

When you look at the human body, you can see that it is expertly designed for motion. Motion is nutrition not only for your joints, but for your brain (through the firing of proprioceptor afferents). Motion changes your internal brain and body chemistry, aiding in the healing process.

Image Credit: Red Sky Photography

Think about it… motion is life.

A heartbeat.

Drawing a breath.

Holding a hand.

Digesting a great meal.

All involve movement in order for you to express life. Why would the rest of your body be any different? Our lives are linked to our ability to move, right down to the cellular level.

So it makes sense that global body movement affects even your individual cells, making them healthier.

It makes sense that motion affects your brain, making you smarter.

It makes sense that motion helps you begin to heal yourself.

Even if you haven’t been moving regularly for years, start today. It’s not too late as your body will strive to do the best it can with what you give it. Give it good things and it will improve. Health will return – it’s our natural state.

And then don’t stop moving. Remember what it means to be alive. Chase after it with all you have.

Then, as Spock would say, you will live long and prosper.

What can you do?

Start by walking (get a dog or make a playlist if you need to)
Switch to a standing desk (or go pro with a treadmill desk) for work and gaming.
Bodyweight strength training
Begin working on proper posture
Yoga
Breathe deeply with your belly
Consult with a chiropractor
Take up a sport

Find what works for you and share below so we can all move forward together.

If I had 1000 sentences like this, I’d have a book.

Moving from project to project, post to post, day to day, and diaper to diaper…

Visions, goals and dreams leading the charge, yet stealing the day.

Not today.  Today I drew breath and soaked in the moment.  Consequently I laughed, I played, I loved.  All it took was a willingness to be still and enjoy my family.  Because I was laughing, playing and loving, so was my son.

His laughter seems like magic.

You would think this was the first time I’ve had this epiphany.  It’s not.

It happens about every week.  I try to be very intentional about my time at work, with family, with God, and with writing.  But by being so intentional I’m trying to make every moment matter.  I’m finding this forced importance can rob life of what makes it special.  It takes reckless abandon for me to just simply “be.” To breathe.  To let go.

In a few hours a new week begins.  I’m going to start by breathing.

You?

Thoughts, dreams, beliefs, principles… irrelevant as long as you can perform.

How can growth occur as you’re moving in these circles?  Condemned to repeating the same dog and pony show with slight variation day after day.

This is why you need a tribe. A place to grow with those of like mind or goals who are there to push you, to pick you up, to help you create your best art.

You’re not going to do it alone. You need community.

It’s not about performance, it’s about having the freedom to do what gets your heart beating out of your chest. It’s about having people to keep you on course so your best work gets finished.

It should be scary.

It should involve faith.

It will be memorable.

It will change things.

Do you have a tribe?