Collaborative Divorce Newsblog

Collaborative Divorce and The Rhythm of Love (Marin Style)

2012-01-25T09:45:00.000-08:00

The Rhythm of Love (Marin Style) -

We lawyers are very familiar with the statistics--nearly everywhere where divorce is freely available, half of all marriages, more or less, will end in divorce. The statistics are even more daunting where I live and work, Marin County, California, where 57% of all married people can expect to experience at least one divorce.

For its Valentines' Day issue, Marin Magazine (an excellent glossy publication that provides a clear window on contemporary life in a locale that used to be known for its hot tubs and peacock feathers back in the '70's) has published a lovely article on being single, married, and divorced in Marin. The author, Megan Pickett, interviewed me in depth about collaborative practice and highlighted it in her article as the way to divorce if your marriage must end.

Megan did a fine job of capturing the essential importance of our work. I'm grateful to her for making this information available in such a high profile way to readers of Marin Magazine. Check it out. And, Happy Valentine's Day.

Coming up: Collaborative Master Class in Pittsburgh

2012-01-18T22:59:00.000-08:00

Join me and Woody Mosten in Pittsburgh for a three-day Master Class, on February 2-4, 2012. The class was last presented in St. Louis, with rave reviews. For information, or to register, contact:
Mark Gubinsky <mark@gubinskylaw.com>

Here is the agenda for the three-day program:

BECOMING A FULL-TIME COLLABORATIVE PEACEMAKER

Possibly Harmful Effects on Lawyers of Observing Judges Treating Colleagues Disrespectfully?

2012-01-18T22:15:00.000-08:00

According to a new study, workers who witness incivility towards colleagues feel negative emotions - especially when the incivility is aimed at workers of the same sex. The work, by Kathi Miner from Texas A&M University and Angela Eischeid from Buena Vista University, Iowa, is the first to look at the relationship between employees' observations of incivility towards same gender co-workers and negative emotions. It is published online in Springer's journal Sex Roles.

Workplace incivility is commonplace and violates conventional workplace norms for mutual respect. It also displays a lack of regard for others. Although our first thoughts are likely to be for the victim of this 'abuse', it can also affect our own feelings as observers.

Miner and Eischeid examined how observed workplace incivility towards female and male co-workers relates to four negative emotions - anger, demoralization, fear and anxiety - for both female and male observers. A total of 453 restaurant employees responded to an online survey examining the 'quality of life in the restaurant industry'.

Analyses showed that female observers reported significantly higher levels of anger, demoralization, fear and anxiety the more they observed other female employees being treated rudely and discourteously at work, in comparison to male employees. Demoralization was the strongest negative emotion experienced by observing women.

Similarly, male observers were significantly more angry, fearful and anxious the more they observed other men being treated uncivilly at work, compared to females. Interestingly, demoralization was not a negative emotion experienced by male observers in these situations.

The authors conclude: "Our results paint a complex picture about the experience of specific negative emotions in response to observed incivility toward same gender co-workers. In some cases, women are more affected (demoralized) and in others, men are more affected (angry, fearful and anxious). In both cases, witnessing incivility towards same gender co-workers can have significant affective consequences for observers."

Translation: when we lawyers wait for our own motions to be called for hearing in the courtrooms of uncivil, rude, autocratic judicial officers, the result for both women and men can be an upwelling of the kind of negative emotion that causes sustained levels of stress. In other words, hanging around certain courtrooms can be damaging to your health.

Heart attack risk rises after loss of loved one

2012-01-18T22:08:00.000-08:00

A person's risk of suffering a heart attack increases by approximately 21 times in the first 24 hours after losing a loved one, according to a study lead by researchers at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center.

While the Deaconess study dealt with death of a loved one, the intense feelings of grief, depression, anxiety, and anger also accompany an unexpected or unwanted divorce. The recommendations in the study presumably apply to divorcing clients as well as the bereaved.

The study published Jan. 9 online in the journal Circulation found the risk of heart attack remained eight times above normal during the first week after the death of a loved one, slowly declining, but remaining elevated for at least a month.
Researchers interviewed approximately 2,000 patients who suffered myocardial infarctions, or heart attacks, over a five-year period. Patients were asked a series of questions about potentially triggering events, including losing someone close to them in the past year.
While there is widespread anecdotal evidence that the death of a loved one can lead to declining health in survivors, few studies have looked at the acute effect of bereavement and grief on myocardial infarction.
"Bereavement and grief are associated with increased feelings of depression, anxiety and anger, and those have been shown to be associated with increases in heart rate and blood pressure, and changes in the blood that make it more likely to clot, all of which can lead to a heart attack," says lead author Elizabeth Mostofsky, MPH, ScD, a post-doctoral fellow in the cardiovascular epidemiological unit at BIDMC.
"Some people would say a 'broken heart' related to the grief response is what leads to these physiologic changes," says senior author Murray Mittleman, MD, DrPH, a physician in the Cardiovascular Institute at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, an Associate Professor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School and director of BIDMC's cardiovascular epidemiological research program. "So that emotional sense of the broken heart may actually lead to damage leading to a heart attack and a physical broken heart of a sort."
Mostofsky and Mittleman think that being aware of the heightened risk can go a long way toward "breaking the link between the loss of someone close and the heart attack."
"Physicians, patients and families should to be aware of this risk and make sure that someone experiencing grief is getting their physical and medical needs met," says Mittleman. "And if an individual develops symptoms that we're concerned might reflect the beginnings of heart attack, we really need to take it very seriously and make sure that that patient gets appropriate evaluation and care."
Providing appropriate psychological interventions for someone who is grieving is also important. Mostofsky says, "We do think it's plausible that social support during that increased time of vulnerability would help mitigate the risk of heart attack."
Note: This story has been adapted from a news release issued by the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center

A holiday gift: mentoring or consultation sessions

2011-12-12T08:40:00.000-08:00

When Peggy Thompson, Lisa Schneider, and I offered a revamped three-day basic team training in Birmingham, Alabama this fall, we incorporated quite a bit more practice group development material than is customary in a basic event. The training ended with a module in which participants formed ongoing study groups and were given the assignment to have at least two meetings before the end of 2011. We provided study group agenda ideas and guidance about how to do it. Setting up mechanisms that support using the new understandings and techniques learned in a training right away is now understood to be an important component of a training, because without that kind of immediate immersion in the new ideas, they can dissipate quickly and have little lasting impact.

As an inducement for this important followup experience, the three trainers on our team offered that any Alabama study group that did have two substantive meetings before year's end could have half an hour of mentoring with the trainer of their choice, gratis, in early 2012. I'm delighted to report that the first request from an Alabama study group for a post-training mentoring session came in this week.

I am extending that same offer to any community in which I presented trainings at any level during 2011. If you and a small number of colleagues (5 to 8 members would be optimum) form a study group and have at least two substantive study group sessions before the end of February 2012, I will offer your group a free half-hour phone mentoring session, to take place before April 1, 2012. Or, if you and your colleagues are working on an integrated collaborative team case and could benefit from some mentoring/consultation about how best to move forward, the same offer applies. To take me up on this offer, designate one study group member as coordinator and contact me via email with at least three dates and times that work for all of you, between 10AM and 4PM Pacific time, and refer specifically to this post.

For interested study groups in communities where I have not recently presented trainings, my fee for phone or web-based consulting and mentoring is $200 for half an hour and $400 for a full hour session, prepaid and scheduled in advance. I work with individuals,with professional teams dealing with challenges on difficult cases, and with study groups and practice group boards. This kind of mentoring and consultation is a great way to build on what's been learned, and to address concerns constructively when they emerge rather than letting them sap the community's optimism or motivation.

Happy Holidays to all.

Free Access Online to Full Text Articles about Collaborative Practice

2011-09-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

Most of my thinking and writing these days involves my fascination with what happens to our unexamined, preconceived notions about professional role boundaries and essential competencies as we delve more deeply into interdisciplinary team collaboration.

If you share that interest, you might want to read these articles, available without charge in full text, online at www.bestlawyers.com, the website for "Best Lawyers in America":

1. “Collaborative Family Law, the New Lawyer, and Deep Resolution of Divorce-Related Conflicts,” 1 J. DISP. RES. 82 (2008)
http://www.bestlawyers.com/marketing/articles/48346_1.pdf

2. “Goodbye Homo Economicus: Cognitive Dissonance, Brain Science, and Highly Effective Collaborative Practice,” 38 HOFSTRA L. REV. 635 (2010)
http://www.bestlawyers.com/marketing/articles/48346.pdf

3. “The Evolving Role of the Divorce Financial Analyst in Collaborative Divorce,” NEW YORK FAMILY LAW MONTHLY (August 2010)
http://www.bestlawyers.com/search/viewarticle.aspx?articleID=1794

Three Day Basic Team Training in Birmingham

2011-07-21T13:51:00.001-07:00

Join Us
for a very special event!

EARLYBIRD Registration discount ends July 31st..... DON'T MISS OUT!!

Collaborative Law Training
Co-Sponsored by the Alabama State Bar Family Law Section and
Birmingham Collaborative Alliance

Top Collaborative Law Trainers Coming to Birmingham

Interdisciplinary Training, Led by Nationally-Recognized Collaborative Law

Experts, Will Be Held in Birmingham September 15-17, 2011

The Birmingham Collaborative Alliance (BCA), in conjunction with the Family Law Section of the Alabama State Bar, is sponsoring Alabama's first-ever collaborative law practice training in Birmingham this fall.

Collaborative law provides a private, voluntary, no-court option for resolving divorce and other family-related disputes that is utilized by parties who prefer to avoid the costs and stress of litigation. The collaborative process provides a method for respectful and open discussion of issues designed to generate creative solutions and compromise in the interests of all concerned. Everyone involved - both spouses and their attorneys - pledge not to litigate, but to work together to settle the case by agreement. The collaborative process is client-centered, more predictable and allows the parties to have more control of the cost. In addition, parties can engage the services of specially-trainedneutral financial analysts, child specialists or coaches to work with them and their attorneys in coming to a resolution.

Many legal, mental health and financial professionals recognize the need to help their clients move through the divorce process as efficiently and respectfully as possible. Divorce is often a person's first encounter with the American judicial system and they find it confusing and scary - an added stress they are ill-equipped to handle at such an emotional time in their lives. The collaborative process is particularly beneficial to couples with minor children who understand that divorce does not mark the end of their need to co-parent.

There is a growing demand for collaborative divorce in Alabama, and BCA members have already begun accepting collaborative cases. The upcoming three-day, basic interdisciplinary training is the standard, accepted minimum training for collaborative practice professionals and is required to join most collaborative practice groups.

The training will be held on September 15, 16 and 17, 2011 at First Church in downtown Birmingham. For the registration form CLICK HERE.

Led by Pauline Tesler, JD, a specialist in family law, certified by the State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization since 1984, and a fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, Tesler co-founded the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) in the late 1990's, served as its first President and authored Collaborative Law: Achieving Effective Resolution in Divorce Without Litigation (published in 2001 by the American Bar Association), the first book-length treatise for collaborative lawyers. Psychologist Peggy Thompson was instrumental in development of the use of mental health professionals in the collaborative divorce process more than fifteen years ago and has been teaching and training collaborative professionals ever since. Thompson co-authored with Tesler, Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on With Your Life (Harper Collins, 2006). Lisa Schneider, CDFP, has devoted her practice to Collaborative Divorce since 2000. This is the first basic training to be offered by Tesler and Thompson in almost five years.

The Birmingham Collaborative Alliance was recently formed to serve as a training and development group for local collaborative professionals. The Family Law Section of the Alabama State Bar is a statewide practice group for family law practitioners.

For more information and to register for the upcoming training, visit the BCA website at www.birminghamcollaborative.com. Additional information about collaborative law is available at www.collaborativepractice.com. For more information on the Family Law Section of the Alabama State Bar visit our website at www.alafamlaw.org

Thanks!
Candi Peeples
Chair, Alabama State Bar Family Law Section

Save $100	Remember, If you send in your registration form on or before July 31, 2011 you can save $100 on the total cost for the training. This is a amazing opportunity for this type training here in our state. Don't miss out!!!!!
Offer Expires: July 31, 2011

I'm Doing A Basic CD Team Training in Alabama with Peggy Thompson and Lisa Schneider

2011-07-21T13:37:00.000-07:00

Join Us
for a very special event!

EARLYBIRD Registration discount ends July 31st..... DON'T MISS OUT!!

Collaborative Law Training
Co-Sponsored by the Alabama State Bar Family Law Section and
Birmingham Collaborative Alliance

Top Collaborative Law Trainers Coming to Birmingham

Interdisciplinary Training, Led by Nationally-Recognized Collaborative Law

Experts, Will Be Held in Birmingham September 15-17, 2011

The training will be held on September 15, 16 and 17, 2011 at First Church in downtown Birmingham. For the registration form CLICK HERE.

Thanks!
Candi Peeples
Chair, Alabama State Bar Family Law Section

Save $100	Remember, If you send in your registration form on or before July 31, 2011 you can save $100 on the total cost for the training. This is a amazing opportunity for this type training here in our state. Don't miss out!!!!!
Offer Expires: July 31, 2011

Interdisciplinary Collaborative Teams as Emergent Learning Systems

2011-05-05T15:30:00.000-07:00

You can download a free copy of my most recent article, which discusses interdisciplinary teams from the perspective of their potential to transform how lawyers approach collaborative conflict resolution:

INFORMED CHOICE AND EMERGENT SYSTEMS AT THE GROWTH EDGE OF COLLABORATIVE PRACTICE

by Pauline H. Tesler

Article first published online: 6 APR 2011

Issue

Family Court Review

Volume 49, Issue 2, pages 239–248, April 2011

The entire special issue, which is devoted to the Uniform Collaborative Law Act, can be accessed without fee at:http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/fcre.2011.49.issue-2/issuetoc.

More on Lawyers, Empathy, and Collaborative Practice

2011-05-02T18:04:00.000-07:00

A theme that appears frequently in my current teaching and writing is that we can't be excellent at collaborative practice until we understand collaborative interdisciplinary conflict resolution teams as dynamic emergent learning systems---systems in which we ourselves are a significant variable. Who each person on the team IS matters a lot, and each person's individual degree of self awareness matters a lot, at every stage of collaborative team practice.

A fertile area for reflection: for many of us who happen to be lawyers, empathy is probably not our strong suit. Yet empathy--balanced by effective practical reasoning and other "executive"functions we lawyers tend to have an easier time with--is essential for high quality conflict resolution teamwork.

Susan Daicoff wrote this about the personality characteristics of people drawn to the legal profession:

“Individuals who choose to enter law school seem to generally share the following characteristics as children: They are highly focused on academics, have greater needs for dominance, leadership and attention and they prefer initiating activity. Reading is emphasized (and remembered pleasantly in later years). Their fathers tended to be on the dominant and strong side. It was found, in a comparative study, that concern for emotional suffering and for the feelings of others tended to be less emphasized than in the childhood homes of dental or social work students.

Studies of pre-law students indicate that their mental health is similar to that of the general adult population. We find these people demonstrating definite needs to be leaders, to attract attention and to avoid feeling inferior or assuming subordinate roles.

Numerous studies have explored law students’ motivations for going into the field. Most early research addressed the predominantly male student population and found that the primary motives were “interest in the subject matter of the law, a desire for professional training and desire for intellectual stimulation.” Respondents tended to value money and prestige, but only secondarily. Altruistic concerns were relatively unimportant to this group. In recent studies, gender differences do tend to assert themselves, with female law students being more inclined toward altruistic, as opposed to practical, utilitarian and materialistic goals. However, follow up studies reveal that attorneys with these more “realistic or materialistic” goals tended to be far more satisfied in the practice than those who would characterize themselves as “humanitarian.””

Daicoff, Susan,"Lawyer, Know Thyself: A Review of Empirical Research on Attorney Attributes Bearing on Professionalism." 46 American University Law Review(1997)

While each of us emerges from our family of origin with a particular degree and quality of empathic intelligence formed in response to our earliest childhood experiences, even the least empathic of us can learn to be better at the job. This is the realm of practical NeuroCollaboration. If your practice group hasn't yet included this kind of training in its offerings to members, ask for it.

Lawyers and Empathy

2011-04-27T15:12:00.000-07:00

New research reported this week in Scientific American shows that physicians get less empathic as they see more patients and progress through their medical training, a finding that mirrors studies about the impact of law school on lawyers that Susan Daicoff has cited in her many writings about the social psychology of lawyers.

The new studies suggest that physicians who must deal regularly with patients experiencing pain become so successful at suppressing empathy that in functional brain scans, the area of their brains which would normally register an empathic response to an image of a person in pain in fact showed nothing measurable going on. All the measurable brain activity took place in the higher cognitive areas of the brain.

"Compared to controls, the physicians showed significantly less response in brain regions involved in empathy for pain. In addition, the physicians showed significantly greater activation of areas involved in executive control, self-regulation and thinking about the mental states of others. The physicians appeared to show less empathy and more of a higher-level cognitive response."

Why would this be so? Physicians "need to have daily communication with patients who are physically injured, bleeding or otherwise suffering. Being too focused on the patient’s pain can make the doctor less effective. Suppressing the response to others’ pain may in fact free up information processing resources to more effectively solve clinical problems. This argument explains the finding that physicians get less empathic as they see more patients and progress through their training."

Sounds a lot like what lawyers experience on the job: daily contact with clients who are visibly suffering. The problem is that while suppressing empathy in favor of rational problem solving helps with certain aspects of medical practice, absence of empathy diminishes the quality of care.

" Empathy is invaluable for motivating the whole process of delivering care, for ensuring effective communication (who wants to talk about embarrassing symptoms to a frigid doc?), and for building long-term relationships of trust between doctors and patients.The job of any physician is therefore part empathic and part problem solving. This constitutes an inherent trade-off in medicine because the human brain does not have infinite computational resources or time to perform both tasks equally well. One must be caring while also figuring out a proper diagnosis, prognosis and treatment, often under conditions of uncertainty."

Substitute "lawyer" for physician, and these studies tell us that empathy on the part of lawyers isn't just touchy-feely icing on the professional services cake. Empathy is more like baking powder: without it, the entire cake is flat, tough, and inedible.

Why a joint Tesler/Mosten training?

2011-04-27T10:46:00.000-07:00

That's a question I've been asked recently by practice group leaders considering sponsorship.

The answer: Woody Mosten and I devised the forthcoming series of joint trainings for colleagues who have invested considerable time and effort in developing their collaborative practices but who still don't have as much collaborative case work as they would like. Woody and I have not trained together before, but each of us in all our trainings teaches understandings and skills proven to take individuals' practices to the next level in the transition to full-time collaborative peacemaker.

Woody's approach is to focus on concrete, teachable tools and skills that participants can learn and replicate immediately in their work with clients.

I also teach specific skills, but I do so in the context of exploring how one's way of presenting CP to clients reflects beliefs and understandings about the nature and significance of our work that may be hidden from the individual professional, and yet may directly shape the clients' response re whether to choose CP or not. I teach how to recognize and alter these beliefs, how to develop a congruent understanding on the team and in the practice community about the nature and importance of CP, and how to express it powerfully during the process choice phase with each incoming client. I also challenge the concept of lawyer-driven "triage" at the process choice stage as it impacts interdisciplinary team practice, and the insidious effect of legal-template thinking at every stage of our collaborative work, with clients and on the team.

By training together Woody and I hope to provide participants with an extraordinarily broad range of skills, tools, and understandings that can speed the transition to full-time collaborative practice--a range that no single trainer could offer.

Generous Offer from Denver Colleagues

2011-04-22T14:48:00.000-07:00

For any collaborative professionals who have interest in coming to the Denver Master Class in June but are feeling the economic pinch, the event sponsors have offered to provide accommodations in members' homes if that would make attending more affordable. Contact Terri Harrington for further information.

Becoming a Full-Time Peacemaker

2011-04-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

If you want to take your collaborative practice to the next level, consider attending one of the three forthcoming "Master Classes" being offered jointly by me and Woody Mosten.

Woody and I represent very different--and complementary--approaches to building a highly successful collaborative conflict resolution practice. Together we offer a very broad spectrum of proven understandings, skills, techniques, and practices that can take you from "sometimes collaborative" to full-time collaborative professional.

We presently have on calendar three "Master Classes"-- West, Midwest, and East Coast. Each sponsoring group welcomes participants from outside their communities. Consider joining us---we know you'll take back concrete techniques that work.

Here are the specifics:

Denver, June 23-25: Contact: Terri Harrington-- th@hbc-law.net

St. Louis, December 1-3: Contact: Yvonne Homeyer-- yvonne@stlouisfamilylaw.com

Pittsburgh, February 2-4: Contact: Mark Gubinsky-- mark@pittsburgh-divorce.net

Collaborative Divorce "Master Class" in Denver

2011-04-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

Join me and Woody Mosten for three days in our first joint Collaborative Divorce "Master Class" on June 23-25, 2011 in downtown Denver, Colorado. Colorado Collaborative Law Professionals, the statewide collaborative practice organization, is sponsoring this first-of-its-kind event, in which Woody and I will teach proven strategies and techniques for jump-starting and sustaining a vibrant collaborative practice.

In addition to three full days of training, the event includes two optional informal evening discussion sessions with Pauline and Woody.

David Brooks' " New Humanism" and Collaborative Conflict Resolution

2011-03-09T09:50:00.000-08:00

This week, David Brooks wrote eloquently in the New York Times about the enormous shift in understanding of our biological nature as human primates that is sweeping business, academic, and professional circles. The growing awareness that emotion and feelings drive our thinking, our choices, and every aspect of our behavior and consciousness , and that 18th century notions about the primacy of reason are simply wrong from a biological perspective, is changing how lawyers, doctors, CEO's, academic researchers-- and pretty much everyone who plugs in to what's alive at the growing edge of our culture --approach our work.

Brooks, who is on a book tour and speaks often about his take on these ideas, jokes that he is not a likely candidate as spokesman for the primacy of feeling in human affairs. He's writing about the neuroscience of the "new humanism" because finally no other approach could adequately explain for Brooks the many enormous economic and public policy failures that he now sees as growing out of an overly simplistic view of human nature.

We in the collaborative community are at the creative growth edge in applying these ideas to the work of conflict resolution. On the day that many of my colleagues were reading Brooks' op-ed piece this week, I happened to be presenting a workshop on "Practical Neuro-Resolution" to my Marin County practice group which echoed Brooks' basic themes and presented some ways of organizing the explosion of new information about the neuroscience of human conflict in a "theory to practice" mode.

I believe that integrated interdisciplinary collaborative team practice at its best creates the kind of trust-based and relationship-based small group that we are wired for as human primates. When we work together in a team with a couple or family that is experiencing the collapse and restructuring of a biologically vital network of connections, we are mobilizing and taking advantage of our evolutionary endowment, rather than working in opposition to our biological wiring by pretending that the issues which cause our clients grief are entirely rational in nature and that they involve solely a clash of opposed individual rights and entitlements.

Integrating understandings from the evolutionary neurosciences with trainings in high potential team practice is, to my way of thinking, the next big leap that the collaborative community will take. I'm excited to be working on this exciting intellectual challenge.

Practical Neuro-Collaboration

2011-02-06T10:49:00.000-08:00

Collaborative Family Law Practice of Marin is sponsoring a two--part training series in February and March 2011 entitled "Practical Neuro-Collaboration."

This two-part series is based on modules from the 18-hour NeuroCollaboration workshop I presented at the Straus Dispute Resolution Institute (Pepperdine University Law School) in 2009 and 2010 with Thomas B. Lewis, M.D.

I'm now offering workshops, trainings, and keynotes on "Practical Neuro-Collaboration" which build upon the modules developed for the Straus Institute. In addition to the forthcoming Marin County series, this material has been presented in various forms in Fort Worth, Texas; the California Inland Empire, and San Francisco. Sponsors have included Collaborative Practice California and the ABA Dispute Resolution Section.

Practice groups interested in sponsoring trainings can contact me at teslercollaboration@lawtsf.com

Here is the CFLP of Marin announcement:

Please join us on Tuesday, February 8, 2011 for Practical NeuroCollaboration, Part I, with Pauline H. Tesler. This special 2-hour training on Tuesday, February 8, 2011 will take place from 11:00 am to 1:00 pm.

Participants in this course can expect to learn not only new understandings of why we and our clients behave as we do during conflict and conflict resolution, but also ways of implementing these perspectives from the neurosciences to make our collaborative conflict resolution work more effective and satisfying to ourselves and our clients. An orientation to the triune human brain will form the foundation for deconstructing and re-examining how our minds actually work when making decisions under stress. The course will include powerpoint presentation, discussion, video clips, and experiential exercises.

Please mark your calendars for Practical NeuroCollaboration, Part II, with Pauline H. Tesler. This training will take place on March 8, 2011 from 11:00 am to 1:00 pm.

Russians, Romanians, Ukrainians, and Indians are interested in Collaborative Practice

2011-01-20T15:31:00.000-08:00

I've been checking out the "stats" for where people live who are checking out/following this blog. Not surprisingly, the largest number live in the United States. But to my amazement, the second highest statistics are from Russia. The others, in descending order, are: The Netherlands, Germany, Romania, Canada, Ukraine, United Kingdom, Australia, and India.

If any of you from Eastern Europe or India are reading this, I'd love to hear from you. Who are you, and what's your interest in/experience with Collaborative Practice?

Cutting Edge Issues in ADR

2010-12-27T14:24:00.000-08:00

I will be participating in the University of LaVerne Law School's 2011 Symposium, entitled "Forecasting the Future: Cutting Edge Issues in ADR," on Saturday, January 29, 2011. Following a workshop I presented with my colleague Thomas B. Lewis, M.D., at the ABA Dispute Resolution Section's annual meeting in San Francisco last April, entitled "Neuro-Resolution: Applying New Understandings from the Behavioral Neurosciences in Conflict Resolution Practice, " organizers of the LaVerne Symposium invited me to participate in a panel that will focus on how how neuroscience perspectives will affect dispute resolution processes in the future.

Here is the announcement of the Symposium:

Join some of the nation’s leading academic experts on Alternative Dispute Resolution who will be gathered at the University of La Verne College of Law for the 2011 Symposium titled, “Forecasting the Future: Cutting Edge Issues in ADR.”

In coordination with the live event, the University of La Verne Law Review is publishing a Symposium Issue on Alternative Dispute Resolution, and will be accepting submissions through July 31, 2011.

Date: January 28 and 29, 2011 in Southern California.

How to get both spouses/partners committed to a civilized Collaborative Divorce

2010-12-27T13:55:00.000-08:00

There is a book written specifically for divorcing couples that explains in straightforward readable terms how to navigate the emotional shoals of a divorce successfully with the help of an interdisciplinary collaborative divorce team. While each partner probably has different fears about the worst case scenarios for the separation and divorce, we find that for most people there is surprising agreement about highest hopes for a "best" divorce.

In collaborative divorce, the members of the professional team (a lawyer for each spouse, a specially trained divorce coach for each spouse, a neutral financial consultant, and a neutral child specialist) help the couple to focus on highest shared hopes and intentions, and to find areas of agreement and consensus as the foundation for negotiating solutions to more challenging issues.

If you know anyone who is about to divorce, the best possible gift is to give that person two copies of Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life, by Pauline Tesler and Peggy Thompson--one for your relative or friend, and the other to be given to the spouse or partner. Their reasons for wanting a collaborative divorce may differ, but after reading the book, nearly everyone concludes that collaborative divorce is the best choice.

A Training DVD Made for Practice Groups

2010-11-28T11:51:00.000-08:00

Many practice groups have purchased the training DVD that I produced, demonstrating how a full interdisciplinary collaborative team handles an increasingly complex divorce involving an apparently high functioning couple whose dysfunctional family secrets explode during the collaborative process.

Groups that have purchased the DVD describe it as extremely useful, providing a high quality vehicle for training group members in interdisciplinary collaborative team "best practices." Your practice group training committee may want to consider purchasing a copy, for any of the following uses:

It can provide a year or more of content-rich discussion topics for practice group meetings: show two or three clips per meeting and use the discussion guide to help build skills and consensus among group members.
It can be a vehicle for bringing new practice group members up to speed about "how we do it around here." New members can be required to view the complete DVD as part of first year group membership requirements.
It can form the agenda for a study group to work on for a year.
It can be used as part of a practice group mentoring program.

The DVD focuses on how the team interacts to provide a safe container for what otherwise would surely become a catastrophic high conflict divorce. It comes with a CD-Rom containing chapter by chapter discussion guide as well as notes for trainers.

Watch this short preview:

Use this order form to purchase the DVD:
http://www.collaborativedivorcenews.com/2008/10/order-new-hal-and-elaine-dvd.html

"Taking it To The Next Level" in Tulsa

2010-09-16T16:04:00.000-07:00

Peggy Thompson will join me next week to present an expanded version of my popular "Taking it To The Next Level" intermediate/advanced workshop in Tulsa for lawyers, mental health, and financial professionals on September 24 and 25.

There is still space available, and we'd enjoy the leavening and multiple perspectives that result when a group includes people from multiple practice communities. If you are interested in attending, contact Barbara Bartlett.

Her email address: barbara@dontfightaboutit.com

Here is our working agenda:

GETTING FROM HERE TO THERE: BUILDING A VIBRANT COLLABORATIVE TEAM PRACTICE COMMUNITY

An Intermediate Training Workshop

With Pauline H. Tesler and Peggy Thompson

Tulsa, Oklahoma

September 24 & 25, 2010

Day One:

8:30-9:00 AM	Registration and continental breakfast
9:00-11:00	Challenges in Collaborative Practice: Identifying Obstacles, Opportunities, and Growth Points in Your Community of Collaborative Colleagues
11:00-11:15	Morning Break
11:15-12:30-	Service Delivery Models: · What models are in use and where did they come from? · “Deep Resolution” in collaborative practice, with emphasis on the ethics of family law conflict resolution
12:30-1:30	Lunch:
1:30-2:30	Triage and Needs-Based Collaborative Practice: · Ethical dimensions of recommending/choosing a divorce conflict resolution modality · Human needs and human biology in conflict and dispute resolution · The problem of “Case A” and “Case B”
2:30-3:15	Team Practice and the “normal” collaborative couple: · What are the needs of adults in “deep resolution” conflict resolution? · What are the needs of children? · What are the implications for process choice and process management?
3:15-3:30	Afternoon Break
3:30-5:00	Roleplay Experience: The Buy-In Phase of the Case [Practice in using the Golden Apple and “Hopes and Fears” techniques to increase client “buy in” to team collaboration]

Day Two:

8:30-9:00 AM	Coffee and socializing
9:00-10:00	Mobilizing and Using the Integrated Interdisciplinary Team: · Practice groups and effective team practice · When and how is a team mobilized · How can we achieve congruent teamwork with professionals and with clients · Protocols and documents · Building trust · Congruent messages · Congruent behavior
10:00-11:00	Video, discussion, and roleplay of conversations , stages, and challenges in getting the team formed for the case
11:00-11:15	Morning Break
11:15-12:30	The Overt Narrative and the Hidden Narrative in Team Practice · What do we need to know from clients and what do they need to know from us to choose and succeed at team practice · How do we influence process choice (intentionally and unintentionally) · Skillful questioning · Appreciative inquiry · Metaphor and restorying · Neuroscience concepts and tools
12:30-1:30	Lunch
1:30-2:30	Specific Challenges and Techniques in Skillful CP: · The Mission Statement · The Static and Dynamic Roadmap
2:30-3:15	· Team communications, debriefing, roadmaps · The Law as helper, not “elephant in the room
3:15-3:30	Afternoon Break
3:30-5:00	Specific Challenges and Techniques, continued: · Challenging clients and team resources · The functional and dysfunctional team · The power of skillful questioning and skillful brainstorming
5:00-5:10	Evaluations and appreciations

NeuroCollaboration at the Collaborative Practice California annual Gathering

2010-07-01T12:10:00.000-07:00

The Newsletter of California's statewide organization, "Collaborative Practice California" (Vol. 2010-2) arrived today with David Fink's summary of the recent "Celebration V," (the annual meeting held this year in San Francisco) as a featured article. The Celebration included a remarkable array of pre-conference institutes and conference plenary speakers,and David's article will give those of you who couldn't attend a vivid picture of who and what you missed.

Tom Lewis and I gave a plenary presentation of 90 minutes, focusing on a few key areas of emerging brain science with material drawn from our 18 hour course in NeuroCollaboration that we've been offering at the Straus Institute (Pepperdine Law School). Here's what David kindly had to say about our presentation:

Our focus on the brain continued Saturday morning with the opening plenary program presented by Collaborative pioneer Pauline Tesler and neuroscientist Dr. Thomas Lewis from UC San Francisco. Dr. Lewis gave a very brief overview of how our brains process information and how that impacts what we perceive through our senses. He highlighted the structure of the brain, and how different parts evolved and developed to handle different functions, and how this impacts emotional reactions and how (and when) we are able (and unable) to process information at a high intellectual level. Pauline Tesler was able to draw the connections between the science described by Dr. Lewis and the assumptions and expectations we make as we help clients through a Collaborative dispute resolution process. In particular, she noted that we often attempt to get “informed consent” to the Collaborative Process from our clients at a time when they are biologically unable to give it. In preparing for this presentation, Dr. Lewis and Ms. Tesler took a program they had previously developed and presented over 18 hours in 2 ½ days and tried to condense a portion of it into our 1 ½ hour program format. Everyone left this program wanting far more on the topic than the presenters could reasonably get through.

Re-examining through the lens of emerging understandings about the brain how we lawyers actually work with our clients (in contrast to how we like to think we are working with them) and how we can mobilize the triune brain to support rather than subvert collaborative conflict resolution is what I'm most engaged in thinking, writing, and teaching about. Co-training with a talented presenter and neuroscientist of Tom's intellectual caliber continues to be a delight and an education.

If you would like us to keep you posted about writings, trainings, and other developments in our work together on the neuroscience of conflict resolution, let me know at teslercollaboration@lawtsf.com

"Taking it To The Next Level" in Pittsburgh

2010-06-18T17:22:00.000-07:00

Join me in Pittsburgh for a program that teaches you how to meet your ethical obligations re: informed process choices and at the same time increase client uptake of collaborative practice:

Pittsburgh Training Flyer 6-25-10

"GROWING YOUR COLLABORATIVE PRACTICE" workshop July 9-10, Gainsville, Florida

2010-06-16T10:02:00.000-07:00

PAULINE TESLER TO PRESENT

"GROWING YOUR COLLABORATIVE PRACTICE"
AT UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA

Posted by: "Davis,Robin K" davisr@law.ufl.edu j5rdavis32618

Tue Jun 15, 2010 2:03 pm (PDT)

University of Florida Levin College of Law presents its 2nd annual Collaborative Law Training.

DON'T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY TO INTERACT WITH
PAULINE TESLER, INTERNATIONALLY ACCLAIMED EXPERT
AND
AUTHOR OF COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE (HarperCollins, 2007)
and COLLABORATIVE LAW (American Bar Association, 2008)

This intermediate training will be held at the Levin College of Law in Gainesville
on July 9-10, 2010.

APPROVED FOR 12.5 CLE'S INCLUDING 2 ETHICS AND
9.50 MARITAL & FAMILY CERTIFICATION (Florida)

Register for the 2010 training at http://www.law.ufl.edu/centers/childlaw/collaborativetraining/

REGISTER NOW

Robin Davis
Legal Skills Professor
Director, Institute for Dispute Resolution
University of Florida
Fredric G. Levin College of Law
P.O. Box 117626
Gainesville, FL 32611-7626
clt@law.ufl.educlt@law.ufl.edu>
Ph. 352-273-0807 Fax 352-392-0414