My two friends

I had a friend that came up to visit me for a weekend. During that entire time I saw more of the top of her head, as she was looking at her Sidekick, than her face. It was annoying.

I have another friend who does not even own a cell phone. Can you believe that? She just has a home phone and Facebook and we still seem to see her all the time. She is a much happier person than the first.

Why not turn off the cell phone?

When you’re with your friends, your loved ones, or in class do you really need your cell phone on and answering every text message you get? It reminds me of those workaholic business men that forget about their families (but that’s still better than my dad who always wanted to “hang out” with me and my friends when we went out to the movies).

Why not try turning off the cell phone every once in a while. Start off slow so people can get accustomed to it. They will eventually learn how to reach you once you train them properly. Then, life will be simpler.

Seriously, why not?

To find out the continuation of Kevin, Jennifer, and Amy’s love triangle story, visit the Chicago Tribune.

Zussamen

Arranging a meeting with the professor to discus your options should be your first step. You want to contact the professor as soon as you know you want your grade changed. Otherwise, the professor will think you are just some lazy ass that wants to get a free grade bump.

If it is the middle of the summer and you live in a different city, it is best to contact you professor through email and just ask that way. This may also be a good choice for those students who are a little more shy.

Be prepared

Before actually meeting with the professor or emailing him or her in full about the subject, make sure you are on top of your game. Write down all the grades you received on exams, make a copy of homework assignments, etc. You will want to impress the professor with your preparation and hard work ethic that you obviously forgot about during the semester.

General tips

Be forward with the professor. Going around in circles or pretending to meet the professor for some other mysterious reason will only annoy them. Just let them know right off the bat that you would like to discus the grade you received.

Make sure you have a reasonable case to go on. [Most] Professors are not assholes, but you need to work with them or it will look like they are just making up grades. No professor wants to feel used like that either, so you need to make it seem to them like they are doing the right thing and not just doing a personal favor for you.

If the professor gives you an opportunity to redo an assignment, take your time and do the hell out of it until it is perfect. The asshole professors may not want to bump your grade and any mistake will give him or her more reason to reject your request.

Excuses, excuses

It is best to have your own personally crafted excuse for why you did so poorly or why you deserve to receive a better grade. Here are some to get you started:

1. “I did increasingly well towards the end of the semester. I started off slow, but when I saw I was doing bad, I really tried hard and got my grades up.”
2. “That one exam was just a fluke. I was sick that day and the night before. I studied, but just was not able to do well on the test because I was thinking too much about my grandmother who died last week.”
3. “I did turn in that homework assignment, though I have a scanned copy here if that helps.”
4. “Geology just is not my thing, but if I do not get at least a C on this class, I will lose my scholarship and be forced to quit college. I worked really hard and showed up to every class. Do you really want to be responsible for that?”
5. “Can I just makeup that one essay I did particularly bad on?”
6. “Is there anything else I can do? Any sexual favors you need from a young man/women like me?”

Know when to give up

Sometimes you failed so bad that there really is nothing the professor can do to help you. Even the nicest professors need to play by the university rules if they ever wish to get tenure. Know when to quit and hold your pride. In the end, this will not affect you for a long time even though it may seem so now.

[Edit for those who emailed: I am aware zussamen is not a real German word. It was taken from one of my guilty pleasures, the movie “Eurotrip.”]

The first is to take her shopping.

The rest is 69.

The Russians used a pencil.

[Source: Milk and Cookies]

There is a big difference between piracy and stealing. The biggest problem with piracy is how easy it is to do it. There is also relatively low risk of getting caught due to the high number of individuals who do it. Also, there is isolation when you commit this “crime”. The RIAA might find out that someone from your house downloaded an illegal song, but they cannot definitely find out who. This is a big legal black hole, especially in most western countries where civil liberties are kind of a big deal (America may have gone to far west that it is now hitting Soviet Russia).

The big difference which makes it easier for people like the RIAA to sue you is that in American civil court you just need to found likely to have committed the act. This is opposite American criminal court where you have to be found guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

In the end it is a bit absurd that making a copy of something has such high legal ramifications. Someone stole my CD player from inside my car a few years ago. F them, now I don’t have a CD player. If they just stole this paragraph, I still have the paragraph.

[Source: Law and Order]

Inspiration:

[Source: Digg]

Before We Begin

Before we begin, you need to understand that buying textbooks from you school’s local bookstore is probably the craziest thing you can do if you plan on saving money for some beer, wine, girlfriends/prostitutes, or professor bribery. There is only one real expection to this rule, but we will get to that a bit later.

Way 1: Amazon.com

Amazon is not only a character in Diablo II. It is the biggest online retail store in the world–for good reason. They offer some of the best savings you could conjure up with your fake magical powers. Just by typing in amazon.com into your Firefox window (you don’t use Internet Explorer, right?), you are saving about $30 per book.

It is not just about going to Amazon, however. You need to learn to play the game. Amazon is know for having spontaneous deals so look out for them under the product description. Today, Amazon was giving out free three-month memberships to Amazon Prime, their subscription service that gives you free two-day shipping on practically any item, if you bought over $100 worth of textbooks. Also, you can always get the free “Super Saver” shipping if you spend more than $25, but that can take up to ten days.

Another deal Amazon was having today was buy three get the fourth free. Obviously, the fourth is the least valued item, but that does not really matter–it’s still free! The only problem with this offer is that you can only use it once per order. However, you can cheat the system and just have multiple orders. I just bought a bunch of kitchen equipment and had three separate orders. As an added bonus all the items will arrive faster as the “Super Saver” shipping puts all or most of the items in an order into the same box. With multiple orders, the items that are ready to be shipped will not be waiting for all the other items.

Lastly, Amazon offers to list items for other merchants even if they are charging less than Amazon. Check out the right sidebar for see for yourself. Usually, you will want to stick with Amazon due to the lower cost and the free shipping, but it does not hurt to look.

As an added bonus every box that Amazon ships comes pre-packaged with love and you will see a big smile on the box when it arrives, literally!

Check it out for yourself and see what kind of great deals you can find.

Way 2: Half.com and Other Online Retailers

Amazon is not the only online retailer. Half.com by eBay is a great alternative to Amazon. You may be able to find a product for less than what it costs at Amazon due to more “regular” people selling their items on Half.com.

There are tons of other online retailers to pick from besides these two and since competition online is so much greater than in brick and mortar locations you will almost always get a better price.

Way 3: Buy Used

Buying used books is a great way to save some cash and save the earth at the same time. Usually, it is better to buy used books in an actual store as opposed to online since you can see what kind of damage, if any, has been done. Buying used books online can sometimes be a gable, but if you buy from a trusted retailer or check out a user’s feedback ratings on a place like Half.com, you can save a big headache later. Buying online however will most likely save you some cash.

Way 4: Use You Connections

Connections are not just for when you want to get a job. You should be using the people you know for just about everything. Why not just buy books off friends or colleagues and save both of you the fees incurred by selling through third parties?

Way 5: Trading

Remember when you were little and trading marbles. Or maybe you are a little bit younger and traded Pokemon cards. Or maybe you are even younger and traded germs like my seventeen-year-old sister and that douche she calls her boyfriend (seriously, he’s from Jersey). Well, you get the idea. Try trading textbooks with people you know.

Alternatively, there are some websites online where you can trade textbooks for free and there are usually places on campus that are student-run and do the same thing. Ask around.

Way 6: Steal Them

With textbooks so expensive, you can just try illegally downloading them. I guess you can try to steal them from a store as well but that is definitely illegal and we are not publicly condoning that. I hear people download a program with BitTorrent and go to sites like The Pirate Bay, or Demonoid to download illegal copies of textbooks. We can neither confirm nor deny this but strongly suggest you “investigate” for yourself.

Way 7: “But I’m Still a Child”

Why not remind your parents how hard you have been working at school and how all the money you make, the little it is, goes towards giving you a little bit of free time to keep you sane. Give them a little nudge to buy some textbooks for you. This works or not depending on your parents’ parenting style. If they are the type who charged you rent when you lived at home, then you may not want to bother asking.

Way 8: Your Campus Bookstore?

Like I said, sometimes the campus bookstore will have a great opinion. When professors decided to make their own book and don’t get published by a large company, their own university might publish the horrible book. If this is the case, you are better off staying offline and walking to the store.

Also, sometimes those annoying professors want you to buy a bundle of items. The local campus bookstore might offer all the items in a package and save you some money from buying them separately or having to pay large membership fees to online course supplements later.

Way 9: F@#$ Textbooks

Who says you need to have a textbook anyway? I have gotten by a ton of classes without ever opening the book. I am sure you have too. You can never know for sure before entering the class if a book is really required or not, but I suggest you check out your professor’s ratings on RateMyProfessors to see if somebody mentioned something about that.

Bonus: Getting Some Money Back

Sell your books to get some of the money you spent on them back. If you bought your books online, you may even get back more money than you paid for them. Also try selling books to friends at a value that they are worth. Check online fore current prices and let your friend know that he or she will not need to pay for shipping. Just stay clear of the campus bookstores on this one as they will give you barely nothing for your books. They are trying to make huge profits after all.

That’s It

Those are the only 9 ways to save money on textbooks. Think I missed one? Let me know below.

Well, here you go:

The I Want Six Pack Abs routine

This routine will take you through sixteen weeks of the hardest workouts you have probably ever experienced in your life. You may even be able to turn that beer belly into real beer.

Start with the easy first week and see if it is for you:

The Starvation Diet

This one is one of my favorites. All my anorexic friends love it too. It is where you eat nothing for a period of seven days. No don’t stop during the seventh day thinking you are God. Those are just the hallucinations talking. You are guaranteed to lose at least your desire to live. Not recommended for people who are consistently depressed.

The Vegan Diet

Similar to the above, you eat practically nothing. The catch with this one is that it lasts a lot longer than seven days. But, if you could look like Avril Lavinge, Natalie Portman, Joaquin Phoenix, Eva Mendes, and Opera?? Nevermind…

[Picture from peta]

Kill Some Persians

If you live in 480 BC and have a bunch of pesky Pursians trying to take over the world all you have to do is kill a few thousand of them with your 299 commands and you will instantly become massively attractive. Make sure you learn to fight first though or you may not get passed the first two.

Seriously, however, here the great workout that was done by the cast members of the Hollywood blockbuster 300 prior to shooting the movie:

1. 25 pull-ups
2. 50 deadlifts at 135 pounds
3. 50 push-ups
4. 50 box jumps with a 24-inch box
5. 50 “floor wipers” (a core and shoulders exercise at 135 pounds)
6. 50 “clean and press” at 36 pounds (a weight-lifting exercise)
7. 25 more pull-ups — for a total of 300 reps

[Source: WebMD]

Play Volleyball

Have you been watching the Olympics?

[Photo credit 212nyc]

To Sum It All Up

Being 100% serious now, all you need to do to have a nice body is eat right, exercise, and well, some good genes help too. If you’re fat, eat less and exercise more. Do not starve yourself and make sure you drink plenty of water. If you’re skinny, eat more healthy and fat-filled foods, while not slacking on working out and gaining muscle. Do not skimp on the protein and fiber either. Also, drink lots of water.

It takes some motivation to get us off our computers and televisions to go outside and exercising. You may try working out at home to start out. The I Want Six Pack Abs workout above is a great routine for that. Start off slow and continuously increase your workout intensity. Make sure to take breaks every other day or switch up your routine. Good luck!

They decided on the word Typewriter.

One day the husband told his five-year-old daughter, “Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter.”

The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, “Tell your daddy that he can’t type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter.” The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.

A few days later the mom told the daughter, “Tell daddy that he can type that letter now.”

The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, “Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.”