Behold the sweet beauty of Nubian.

Campaign Pillars

• Nubian’s name is valued at 112 Scrabble Points
• It’s eight glorious syllables.
• Because Pharaoh says it is. (H/T Gobbler Country)
• It’s an anagram for ‘Hokie Bananas Zaps Buzzer’.

In addition to Nubian, there are 277 lesser names on the bubble, let’s make our voices heard and get him on the bracket.

Correctest shirt ever. Six bucks at kohls.

via @shaw0n

No, no it is not, and we can do a better than that. Illinois is  __________.

• soybeans
• Will Leitch
• corn based ethanol
• hot dogs
• Shell Silverstein
• Wayne’s World
• McDonald’s
• Bill Murray

If you got one, leave it in the comments.

You got him.
Hello son. This is Coach Butch Davis. Do you have a minute?
Err…
Did you know this year’s Blue-White Spring Game will be televised by ESPN?
It is?
Yes indeedy, that’s just one of the many reasons to come out to beautiful Kenan Stadium. Some others are: Rameses, face painting, Bell Tower climb…
Can’t I just watch from home then?
Well… um, yes, I supposed you…

click

Shit.

cracks knuckles, dials (919) ***-**25, phone rings

Hello?
Hello ma’am, this is Coach Davis and I wanted…
Who?
Butch Davis coa…
Oh, Mr. Davis, my husband said you’d be coming by a little past noon tomorrow to finish clearing the trees tomorrow.
Uh, no, this is Coach Davis of the Tar Heels. I see here you and your husband have been supporters and of our athletic department for years and I was calling you today to tell you another, free, easy way that you can support our program.
Oh!

puts phone receiver to her neck and yells across kitchen

Honey! One of Coach Roy’s assistants is on the phone!

places receiver back to mouth

Anything to support Coach Williams and our Heels.
Ma’am, sorry, there must of been a miscommunication. I’m the coach of the football team.
Football?
Football.

click

Shit.

dials (919) ***-**26, busy, wipes brow of forehead with wrist, smacks self in face, dials (919) ***-**27, phone rings

Hello?
Hello there UNC coed. This is Coach Davis and I wanted to talk to you today about the Blue-White Spring Game on April 10th.

click

Shit.

sips Diet Coke, dials (919) ***-**28, phone rings

Yes?
Hello sir, I’d like to discuss the activities happening at this year’s Blue-White game. I personally guarantee it will be a day your entire family never forgets.
You just hang on there a minute. First off, are we gonna beat State this year?
Well, no, I can’t say for sure, but I can promise we’ll do what we, as a team always do, try our best.
Then I guarantee we won’t be there.

click

Shit.

runs out of second floor window

H/T: In The Bleachers

Picture courtesy of Patrick Stevens’ terrific D1SCOURSE blog.

The VT-MD roundball tipoff was rescheduled from 4:00 to 6:30pm. Among the Hokies I talked with the consensus on the situation was: positive, more time to get shit housed at the bar, negative no bathrooms to relieve yourself in once the seal is ready to burst. That’s a more than manageable trade off though, so no harm no foul. Right?

Wrong!

It has come to my attention the football practice field was a casualty of the accident, OH THE HUMANITY.

I hope that’s not poop water. You can swing on by the Beamer Blog to see more pictures of the damage.

To be honest, I’m surprised the field held the water that well. Looking at the big picture, spring practice starts on 3/31 and my guess is it will be all cleaned up by then, so crisis averted.

And now because everyone is thinking it…

Lou: That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place.
Chief Wiggum: Forget it. That’s two blocks away.
Lou: Looks like there’s beer coming out of the chimney.
Chief Wiggum: I am proceeding on foot. Call in a code 8.
Lou: [on the radio] We need pretzels. Repeat, pretzels.

All along Canzano asserts that Kelly is showing favoritism when doling out discipline to his players. He cites how Kelly handled the similar situations of Kiko Alonso and LaMichael James. Both were charged with serious crimes and are exercising their right of due process. Kelly suspended reserve linebacker Alonso for the 2010 season two days after being charged with a DUII. However, Third Team All-American tailback James who was charged with assault in a domestic dispute is awaiting the Court of Kelley to return from deliberation.

Oregon’s 2010 kickoff uniform via @OBNUG

Kelly maintains that he is still gathering the facts. James isn’t currently involved with the program and seems confident that when the truth comes out his actions will be justified.

When this whole thing shakes itself out…When the final truth comes out, put me on the air again and then you apologize.

In my opinion, even if Kelly thinks he’s being consistent there’s an inherent favoritism and more of a want to believe James, because his success correlates to his.

Credit both Canzano and Kelly for an intelligent, albeit cold, debate that didn’t devolve into a pissing contest like so many other heated radio spots.

H/T @quizzandquon or for you Interweb traditionalists visit My QB Has Moxie.

Though Wilson might split time between outdoor track and field and spring football practices, football remains his favorite sport. The coming months present important choices for his career. He said he talked to his coaches about possibly redshirting, though no decision has been made. He knows Tech’s backfield is crowded. Last season’s leading rusher, Ryan Williams, is a rising sophomore. Darren Evans, the top back in 2008, will return as a junior after missing last season because of a knee injury.

Wilson already spent one season not contributing as much as he wanted. He carried 59 times and returned 17 kickoffs in 2009. Would another season of such limited action be worth it? The way Wilson sees it, Williams and Evans could leave for the NFL if they perform well enough this fall, which would mean more carries in 2011 for Wilson, possibly as a redshirt sophomore.

“If I feel like after the spring game or going into the first game that I’m still around the same stage, then I’ll probably redshirt,” he said.

That’s from Darryl Slater of the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

For what it’s worth, as long as Williams, Evans and Josh Oglesby are healthy in 2010 then I think Wilson should redshirt. The Stinespring Screenfense can barely accommodate one dynamic playmaker in the backfield, let alone two or three. If Wilson doesn’t redshirt there will be no creative package designed for/around his speed, he’ll have limited carries and his major contribution will only be on special teams. Punt and kick return were held down by Jayron Hosley and Dyrell Roberts respectively. I don’t think it’s worth another year of eligibility to be the second threat on kickoff returns especially when it’s possible both Williams and Evans could be gone after 2010. Hopefully track and field can supplement some of the competition Wilson is missing from the gridiron and keep him uber hungry for 2011.

What do you guys think?

H/T Those magnificent bastards over at StateFans Nation’s and their twitter feed.

Pictured below is the helmet UNC players will wear when they play LSU in the Chick-fil-A kickoff down in the A-T-L.

Initial impression, as a hater of all things powder blue, and not because of UNC (the only thing I own is a beer stained t-shirt commemorating six magnificent hours at Sloppy Joe’s Bar) the helmet looks tight. The Oakley visor screams we got money and style. The gunmetal bronze finish looks sleek and booms we’re not fucking around.

If it disgusts you: 1) be thankful they didn’t go Oregon on us 2) it’s supposedly only a onetime deal.

Because a Tar Heel needs to look right when starring down the eye of the Tiger.

via @dpertell