CollegeHumor: Articles

What Midnight Looks Like at Every Stage of Your Life

Thu, 24 May 2012 08:00:05 -0400

Like t...

Sibling Treaty

Wed, 23 May 2012 08:00:05 -0400

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Life is Weird

Tue, 22 May 2012 08:00:03 -0400

Illustrated by Henry Alexander

Alex Watt is on Twit...

A Day in the Life of Barack Obama

Tue, 22 May 2012 08:00:00 -0400

6:00 AM – Wakes up in the Lincoln bedroom, stretches, looks himself in the mirror, and says “You got this, buddy.”

6:02 AM – Prays.
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25 Things You Hate Yourself for Saying

Mon, 21 May 2012 08:00:05 -0400

I believe it was Sigmund Freud who once said, “Sometimes horrific things just fall out of your mouth before you can muster up the strength to stop them. That’s just the worst, man, for real.”

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20 Phrases You Hear During Graduation, and What They Really Mean

Fri, 18 May 2012 08:00:05 -0400

Simply roll your cursor over the pictures to see what people are really saying…

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An Embarrassing College Nightmare

Thu, 17 May 2012 08:00:05 -0400

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The 5 Stages of Graduation Grief

Wed, 16 May 2012 08:00:05 -0400

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Obama's New Time Machine of Hope

Wed, 16 May 2012 08:00:00 -0400

My fellow Americans.

It’s no secret that a lot of folks out there are hurting. Yes, some due to hunting accidents. But mostly I’m referring to the econo...

10 Things You Never Have to Deal with Again After College

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:05 -0400

Unless you become a teacher, your final final exam will be the last time you ever see a Blue Book. It’s not just that you will never again be asked to sit and prove your knowledge on a specific subject matter by scrawling bullsh*t your professor doesn’t actually want to read, but you cannot even find these blue books outside of school without ordering them from the manufacturer. So, if these books were going to be part of your hipster plan for post-grad-contemplative-note-taking-in-Starbucks, just stick with Moleskins. If you’re a normal person, rejoice! Your fate will no longer be tied to those haphazardly stapled pages of doom. It will be tied to important stuff, like how much your boss likes you.

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10 Things Ron Paul Has Time to Do Now That He's (Basically) Quit

Tue, 15 May 2012 08:00:00 -0400

1. Put on his red hat and go back to making E.L. Fudge cookies.

2. Angrily stomp around his house wailing about ...

Mitt Romney's Hilarious Prank Ideas

Mon, 14 May 2012 14:15:00 -0400

Last week, the Washington Post reported that as a senior at Cranbrook School, Mitt Romney cornered a student widely assumed to be gay, and forcibly cut his unconventional bleached-blond hair, while a posse of other students held him down. Romney denies any memory of the incident, but admits that he participated in many pranks back in the day, and still likes to joke around on the campaign trail.

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The Worst Jobs in the World

Mon, 14 May 2012 08:00:05 -0400

We asked, you voted. Here are the 25 worst jobs.

25. Gas Station Attendant

Average Salary: $15k-$24k
If getting belittled by drunk high school students/robbed is your thing, you’ll love being a gas station attendant, which provides all the fun of a retail job with the added perks of free lukewarm, day-old hot dogs whenever you want, plus the bonuses paid to you in however many M&Ms you can stuff into your pockets.
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How to OWN Any Situation

Mon, 14 May 2012 08:00:00 -0400

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10 Ways To Tell If You're A Terrible Parent

Fri, 11 May 2012 12:00:00 -0400

Parenting is a tough job, no one will ever tell you otherwise. Except probably these parents because they are obviously horrible people.

1.
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10 Romney Running Mate Suggestions

Wed, 09 May 2012 00:08:00 -0400

Now that Mitt Romney has all but sealed the deal as the Republican nominee (pick up the pace, Ron Paul), it’s time that he start considering potential running mates. Mitt is certainly lacking in the image department, so we here at CollegeHumor thought we would suggest some possibilities that might balance out the GOP ticket this year.

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Letters Home From Finals Week

Fri, 04 May 2012 08:00:05 -0400

10 Things Newt Gingrich Has Time to Do Now That He's Quit

Fri, 04 May 2012 08:00:00 -0400

1. Apply to be a counselor at space camp again.

2. Tone up that Newt-tastic six pack hiding beneath his doughy baby fat.

3. Start his own new VH1 Dati...

Staff Jokes - May 4, 2012

Fri, 04 May 2012 08:00:00 -0400

Saying “I’m high as a kite!” means you’re probably a little high. Saying “I am a kite!” means you’re high as a kite.
— Streeter Seidell (@streetseidell)

Facebook Life Event Options Are Getting Judgemental

Thu, 03 May 2012 16:00:00 -0400

In Facebook’s new profile editor, you can now add “Life Events” to your timeline, including whether or not you’ve registered as an organ donor. Get off my back, Facebook. God! I’m getting to it.

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CollegeHumor: Articles

What Midnight Looks Like at Every Stage of Your Life

Sibling Treaty

Life is Weird

A Day in the Life of Barack Obama

25 Things You Hate Yourself for Saying

20 Phrases You Hear During Graduation, and What They Really Mean

An Embarrassing College Nightmare

The 5 Stages of Graduation Grief

Obama's New Time Machine of Hope

10 Things You Never Have to Deal with Again After College

10 Things Ron Paul Has Time to Do Now That He's (Basically) Quit

Mitt Romney's Hilarious Prank Ideas

The Worst Jobs in the World

25. Gas Station Attendant

How to OWN Any Situation

10 Ways To Tell If You're A Terrible Parent

1. ...

10 Romney Running Mate Suggestions

Letters Home From Finals Week

10 Things Newt Gingrich Has Time to Do Now That He's Quit

Staff Jokes - May 4, 2012

Facebook Life Event Options Are Getting Judgemental

1.
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