The Colonel Radioshow

Mick Bloody McCarthy

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Mick McBloody McCarthy makes a guest appearance on the show. Lawrence Olivier shooting ping pong balls from his back passage and Bald patches in the pubic area

Salt beef and foot fetishes

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Candyfloss, cheesecake and orgies - the Colonel's vision of Utopia unveiled. Cherie Blair gets a tongue lashing and entertaining fuckwits

J-Lo's knickers

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 11:00:01 +0100

More preposterous tales as the Colonel continues his investigations into the Pubic placements... Keith Chegwin, Ben Affleck, Boris Johnson and J-Lo's knickers are all implicated

Who is the Pubic monster?

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Tales of strange goings on at the Beeb and Channel 4 with deliberate pubic placements being left in toilets. Who is Pubus Errectus, the creature that haunts the Colonel's dreams? What horrified June Whitfield in the canteen and what links Davina McCall, James Nesbitt, Noel Edmunds and the Krays twins?

Large proboscises

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Before Series 9 starts we have some candid conversations: Sarah Jessica Parker and large proboscises, Yosser Hughes, Andy Peters and finally - what highbrow discussion would be complete without mentioning rimming

I blame Ringo Starr

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Who's the better dictator - Robert Mugabe, Idi Amin or Simon Cowell? Does God get angry when the Colonel masterbates? The story of Viceroy Vickers.

Pouring petrol

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 23 May 2009 11:00:01 +0100

The Colonel (antagonist extraordinaire) is at it again with an eclectic range of topics - pouring petrol on George Clooney, mocking the luck of the Irish, playing Fagin and a very odd story about Demis Roussos

I was Ronnie Kray's driver

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Thu, 14 May 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Was Hitler visited by the Angel Gabriel? Is China a piss soaked tramp? Why are hairy idiots allowed on TV? And will the Colonel ever get to discuss his time as a driver for Ronnie Kray?

Teabagging the Prime Minister

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 03 May 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Which Prime Minister enjoys teabagging whilst whistling? What is stamp licking? Who forages on Wimbledon Common like a perverted Womble? Why is stabbing so in vogue and who can we blame? All these pastimes of the good and great are discussed by the Colonel and Sage in this episode

Lewd subject matter

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 11:00:01 +0100

The Colonel returns with more dirt and libellous accusations involving Lenny Henry, eating ice cream with Robert Mugabe, chicks with dicks or blokes with tits, necrophilia with the illuminati and more talk of bottoms

Holiday Episode

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Thu, 2 Apr 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Special holiday episode... Sage and his shorts are off to Bangkok for a couple of weeks 'relaxation'and The Colonel cannot be left alone so the show will return in two weeks... meantime, here's a short chat about French letters, Ronnie Kray, a cure for 'gay', golfing and (of course) fisting

Transvestite Dancer

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Did Alicia, dressed as Grace Jones, hit Russell Harty on the Lily Allen show? Why is Jeremy Clarkson upset with Michael Jackson? Is Vernon Kay the future? Where is the clitoris? Find the answers to these burning questions in the latest episode of the Colonel Radioshow

Gloryholes

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Who the hell is Cherie Blair? Sage gets dunked in the canal and gets his mohair shorts wet. Scope darts, the Cornish dialect and the aristocrats

Guess the smell with Ewan Mcgregor

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Assinating Ewan Mcgregor, Easy Rider sabotage with Dennis Hopper, Nelson Mandela collaboration with the Prodigy, Prince Albert cock ring retrieval device and why the Colonel is unlikey to get a knighthood

Turkish baths and bendiness

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Derek Pringle's poetry corner, turkish baths, Geldof's goat children, Sergio Crease the Scope Hero and the dislike of bendiness. Also; the strange case of the clone of Ian Hislop... or is it a surgically enhanced Robert Maxwell?

Killer Puppies

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Illusion and nonsense from the Colonel: Killer puppies, insulting Chris Martin, the fine line between Gandhi and Hitler, insulting Islam extremists and also the Colonel tells some jokes

What a cock up

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Shitting in ditches with Henry Kissinger, tents for the homeless and other preposterious tales from the Colonel and company

Who is Sir Robert Trouser?

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Who is the mysterious Robert Trouser? Was there a conspiracy to convince the world that Lady Diana was attractive? Who has Paul Gascoigne in a headlock and who are Stephane and the Kiddiewinkers?

The Gary Glitter incident

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Gary Glitter's possible clone, prophetic testicals, flirting with featherlight and Margaret Thatcher are all topics in this chaotic episode

Soapsuds and Jockstraps

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Series 8 begins with talk of a room full of young men, medieval buggery, fatwa inducing claptrap and Boris Johnson on his Raleigh racer

Happy New Year

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 11:00:01 +0100

A Happy New Year message from the Colonel with Ronnie Kray, Mick McCarthy and idiots from TV

Homemade Condoms

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 11:00:01 +0100

Homemade condoms, Helen Mirren in Caligula, Harold McMillan exposed, Gin Lane, Crack Alley and obesity as an infectious disease

Unnatural Kinks

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Bankers, wankers and Bono... the Colonel says something stupid about Right Wing Conspiracy Theories about the London Bendy Bus

The smoking ban, personal freedom and cheese

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 11:00:01 +0100

I love cheese, Roy Castle and the smoking ban, Sven the Swede, getting high with Russell Harty... Tom Cruise the fanny plunger, sharing a cell with Jeffrey Archer

Goats, Popes and Necrophilia

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Half man half goat? Marching into Poland and the story of Maggie May

Illuminati - Squeezing the truth out

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Is the late Robert Maxwell really Ian Hislop? Is the real Ian Hislop going to be fed to the Illuminati? Is Rick Waller Ronald McDonald?

Liberals Jockstrap

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 11:00:01 +0100

New series begins with a short introduction and message of hope from The Colonel and Sage!

HERE IS THE NEWS

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Celebrity News Report as read by Ian Thespian

The Colonel Attacks!

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 11:00:01 +0100

The Colonel attacks! Surprise reprise: Last in series 6 - Corporate semen and clandestine cannalbalism with beefy's bouncy burgers

Desmond in a Tutu

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 11:00:01 +0100

A turd in a box is still a turd in a box... force feeding poor people crap food with the humourist Gordon Brown... plus Sage and the Colonel sing the Beatles

The wonderful Heather McCartney/Mills and other tales

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Did the Colonel start the Second World War? Did the Colonel steal the World Cup? Does the Colonel believe in God? All this plus the wonderful Heather Mills clearing landmines.

Did Princess Di have a third son?

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 11:00:01 +0100

How Jimmy Hill was responsible for the break up between Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Also; the mystery of Princess Di's third son and the corrupt Chin Society, whos members include Jennifer Aniston, Bruce Forsyth, and their plot to take over the world.

Royal Prostate on Ebay

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Stephen Hawkins and Davros the traffic wardens, signed Royal prostates on ebay and torturing Vernon Kay.

Softening extremities

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 11:00:01 +0100

The male birth, wrestling Cliff Richard for the prize, Red Ken's World of Wonder

Peeling testicles

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Peeling testicles, money, power, fame and unprotected bottle sex, Bono and retards on tv

Naked Berzerking

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 11:00:01 +0100

The Colonel is in love and is naked. Topics on the table today include inciting riots, berzerking on buses and the unfortunate display of Mrs. Webb's gash

The Disappearance of Brian May

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 11:00:01 +0100

The strange case of the disappearance of Brian May. Starring Steve Irwin, Hugh Hucknall, David Furnish as a Royal Corgi and Ben Affleck. Guest starring George Michael

Apologies to the Pope

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 11:00:01 +0100

The Colonel's great vision of The Vernon Kay Puppet Show will alas never come to be due to the passing on of Jeremy Beadle. How Robert Maxwell never learnt to swim and why the real Ian Hislop is incarcerated at the North Pole. All of this and much less more in the first of the new series of the Colonel's dubious memoirs

The Phantom Returns

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Who is the Bum Bandit of Westminster Bridge? The Colonel interviews his brother to get to the bottom of this disturbing saga.

World Wide Wank

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Weekly comedy podcasts from Colonel Crabtree Smythe... preposterous tales involving the famous, infamous and imaginary.

Kill Em All!

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Weekly comedy podcasts from Colonel Crabtree Smythe... preposterous tales involving the famous, infamous and imaginary.

Scientologist cults

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Ron Hubbard and the hollywood cults are on the agenda today... dancing naked, selling your soul to the corporate 'man'

Who stole Kevin Costner's tights?

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 11:00:01 +0100

The Colonel explains his mad visions for profiteering from the melting icecaps... Who stole Kevin Costner's tights? Lesbian sex fests at Wimbledon and how the Colonel contributed to the downfall of Tony Blair

Goosed by a goosestepper

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 11:00:01 +0100

The Colonel's been reading the Daily Mail again and talks of sexual thrusting, fear of flowery types and the odd bit of prodding. He also recalls his African adventures and the time he was molested by a High ranking Nazi.

Heather McCartney's missing leg

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 7 Jun 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Ninja tricks, Sergio escapes, ballet dancing and the tale of Heather McCartney's missing leg.

Never play darts with Hitler

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 31 May 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Chaotic scenes ensue as the studio is invaded...The Colonel explains why Hitler embarked on his campaign of mass genocide... Extreme method acting...Offers of amputation and Ian Hislop.

Amused to the point of disgust

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 25 May 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Amused to the point of disgust. The Colonel's feud with Stephen Hawkins continues and explains his plans to send Hawkins and Phil Spector into space.

Evangelical sniper

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Tue, 20 May 2008 11:00:01 +0100

A sniper tries to take out the Colonel, Chic Sikhs, Chris Martin, Frank Lampard's thumbs and why we allow the Scottish to play tennis

Licking Balls

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 11 May 2008 11:00:01 +0100

The Colonel returns... Sage is sporting shorts and Crabtree is in silk... What exactly is the relationship between Dale Winton and the President of Iran? Also this week... beating and whipping, celebrity chefs, Mr. Blobby, fat people and fondling

NEWS FLASH: J-Lo to be skinned alive

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 11:00:01 +0100

No Colonel this week: Instead we have this special Celebrity News Report read by Ian Thespian

Psychic false teeth

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Did Delia Smith spike the Colonel's egg sandwich? Did Robbie Williams kill badgers? Did Louie Walsh headbutt a dolphin? Why did the Colonel steal the psychic false teeth of Cliff Richard's Mum? Last of the current series

Wu Tang Clan in tights

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Ever seen the Wu Tang Clan in pantyhose? Is Jimmy Tarbuck the Loch Ness Monster? More illusion, confusion and self delusion with The Colonel

Plastic vaginas

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Who eats porridge out of a plastic vagina? Is Tom Jones black? Is shit acceptable? These questions and possibly many others are answered by listening to this Episode of the Colonel's memoirs

Gandhi loses his temper

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 11:00:01 +0100

The Colonel gets attacked by Gandhi, kidnapped by Cliff Richard and suffocated by a sandal. There's Catholic skullduggery afoot, dead relatives through the post, invasions by shadows, sore bats wing and a load of bollocks... what else could you possibly desire?

Beefy Botham eats an umpire

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 11:00:01 +0100

The Colonel is in his usual lunatic mode... KKK bus drivers, Beefy Botham eating umpires... and of course, rectums are all on the agenda

Pictures of Penises

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Kaki shorts, pictures of penises,finding solace in Charlotte Church's mum and trouble with traffic wardens are just some of the topics exposed by the Colonel this week

Bizarre Celebrity fishing trip

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 11:00:01 +0100

All hell breaks loose with fishing adventures in the outback with Steven Irwin. Find out how did Abu Hamza loose his hands and which Hollywood star was caught shoving a deoderant can up his tradesmans. Todays finale is the Conlenel's rendition of 'Moon River'

Training Mosquitos

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 11:00:01 +0100

We start with a sore penis, then move on to hot potatoes, attacking children, training mosquitos to bite extremists and we hope against hope that Ronan Keating will never sing again

Stealing Bono's Trousers

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Is Bono a veal eater? Is Jim Morrison dead? Is there something nasty in Sage's woodshed? Beefeater hats?... Sandal confusion, suicide bombers, Chopper Harris, de-materialisation, Houdini... and of course, more fingers up rectums

Beware the sausage!

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Series Four begins with sausages! A brief history of the sausage in art, warfare and revolution! Also, Van Gogh, Nazis... egotistical foxes...

Poor parenting skills

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Bed wetting hoodies, namby pamby public school liberal facists, two sugars please...

Violating giant puppetry

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 11:00:01 +0100

More highly inflammatory rambling tales from our beloved Colonel... The Michael Jackson saga continues

Jackson Clan and El Rabbito

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 11:00:01 +0100

A miniturized mad scientist is injected up the bottom of Michael Jackson... life sized puppetry and other unbelievable tales from our dear Colonel

Leatherclad nipple tweaking

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Skulduggery afoot as the Colonel uncovers the links between leather clad nipple tweaking Richard, breast displaying Judy and the Al Qaeda network

Britney Spears

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Britney Spears, the nipple tweaking Prince, large ladies and Himmler's affection for funky chickens

Pillow talk

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 11:00:01 +0100

Sage accuses The Colonel of racism, homophobia and pillow talk

Hellfire Club

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 11:00:01 +0100

The Hellfire Club of Decadent Dalliances

Hairless balls

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 01:00:01 +0100

The Colonel retells his adventure with Van Strapon in the Belgium Congo... plus STDs, Cocaine, Jesus the Christ, time capsules, Maggie Thatchers heart, hairless balls, smaller persons...

Ugly babies

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 21:00:01 +0100

Reincarnation... Ugly babies and the fiery furnaces and snooker loopy nutters

Manginas

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 21:00:01 +0100

We all need redemption... the Colonel continues with Mark Twain, Steve Davis, Pakistan, prison, manginas...

radioshow 20

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 09:00:01 +0100

This week, topics include: The talentless Mr. Blackwood, Norman Wisdom the hitman, and an unsavory incident featuring Lenny Henry and The Cottagers.

radioshow 19

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 09:00:01 +0100

Along the way the Colonel offends another nation and recalls the series of events that led to The Colonel becoming a vigilante and explains reasonable reasons for cheating.

radioshow 18

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 14:00:01 +0100

Cliff Richard rapping with sewer rats Richard and Judy.

radioshow 17

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 3 Nov 2007 23:00:01 +0100

Ratty Ratzinger and rectums, diamond smuggling and late night gardening.

radioshow 16

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 00:00:01 +0100

The Colonel recalls the time he lost a testicle and how the Queen Mum gave him a Sharon Stone crossover.

radioshow 15

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 00:00:01 +0100

All about Bob Geldolf buggering children, James Nesbitt stretching his rear and toilet trading.

radioshow 14

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 00:00:01 +0100

Topics on the table today include James Brown, sex with Mary Whitehouse and force feeding Gandhi.

radioshow 13

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 00:00:01 +0100

The Colonel reveals his part in the torturing of Gary Barlow. He also gets confusing with the Russians, Duncan Goodhew and dirty bombs.

radioshow 12

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 00:00:01 +0100

More of the Colonel's musings. Today, topics include Himmler, cricket, the North Pole and Tsunamis

radioshow 11

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 00:00:01 +0100

The Colonel returns with the Osbourne family, rum, sodomy, the lash and whoopsies.

sampler

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:48:23 +0100

A compilation of some of the funniest bits from the Colonel's first 10 radioshows. In these comedy interviews with Sage McCorkadale he discusses his involvement in some of the most interesting and bizarre events in history. Be patient...watch the skies...

radioshow 10

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 13:27:07 +0100

Pol Pot, Tiddly Winks and the return of Churchill are all topics in episode 10 of The Colonel's comedy memoirs. Have no fear... hold tight...The Colonel will return on Tuesday September 18 www.colonelradioshow.co.uk

radioshow 9

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Fri, 7 Sep 2007 13:27:05 +0100

Spielberg, Shakespeare, Mary Poppins and Cabaret www.colonelradioshow.co.uk

radioshow 8

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Thu, 6 Sep 2007 13:27:03 +0100

Taken upstairs... cups of tea, Saving Private Clifford... and matters of the flesh www.colonelradioshow.co.uk

radioshow 7

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Wed, 5 Sep 2007 13:27:01 +0100

Cricket, Che Guevara and the Colonel's freedom fighting Son www.colonelradioshow.co.uk

radioshow 6

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Tue, 4 Sep 2007 13:26:58 +0100

Ska music, toilet ducks and letters of complaint in the sixth installment in the series of interviews www.colonelradioshow.co.uk

radioshow 5

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Mon, 3 Sep 2007 13:26:56 +0100

The comedy radio interviews of Colonel Crabtree-Smythe. This episode includes the heroic 'Badger' and the return of the Kray Twins www.colonelradioshow.co.uk

radioshow 4

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:26:53 +0100

Back by popular demand, the Colonel continues to recount some of his humorous tales www.colonelradioshow.co.uk

radioshow 3

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 13:24:50 +0100

In this comedy radio interview the Colonel discusses his friend and mentor; the genius Otis Van Strapon www.colonelradioshow.co.uk

radioshow 2

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 12:58:40 +0100

A beer and a bugger... Colonel Crabtree-Smythe breaks his silence for the second time in over twenty years. In these comedy radio interviews he discusses his involvement in some of the most interesting and bizarre events in history... Including a nasty fracas in the Kings Cross area of London.

radioshow 1

George Dudley Josh Tobin — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 12:55:42 +0100

Colonel Crabtree-Smythe breaks his silence for the first time in over twenty years. From Felicity Kendal to Pol Pot, he discusses his involvement in some of the most interesting and bizarre events in history.

George Dudley Josh Tobin