Byron Yawn:

“What kind of relationship did you have with your father?” And a thousand little memories flood the mind of the son. Immediately a forty-one-year-old husband and father of three is eight again. Few questions have the force to stop grown men in their tracks as does this one. The feelings run deep here… ask someone yourself. You’ll see what I mean.
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Many men will insist their dad’s inattention has had no great effect on them. Trust me–they’re lying. Boys need fathers like trees need trunks. I’ve seen strong and sturdy sixty-year-old men weep in sight of the empty space where a dad should have been or at the indelible marks left by tyrants who posed as fathers. So much in a man’s life can be traced back to the father–good and bad.

A prime example is the epidemic struggle with sexual sin among Christian men… At the exact moment a young man faces the most substantial physical, emotional, hormonal, and social changes of his life, he’s left to figure it out for himself… In the absence of a guide it’s impossible to maneuver this space and live to tell about it. An unsupervised adolescent boy doesn’t have a prayer in this culture. You might as well drop him off at the porn shop on his thirteenth birthday…

At the same time, there are way too many “men” blaming their personal issues on their fathers’ failures. You can justify almost anything by lifting up your psyche and showing people your “daddy wound.” I know of men who’ve abandoned their wives and families and offer their “wounded spirits” as justification.
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Many men are imprisoned by memories, or the lack thereof. They can’t make it past the inequity of their experiences. The solution here is mainly theological and not therapeutic. It’s a matter of focus. My point is, it’s not about becoming more intimate with your hang-ups. It’s about becoming intimate with your Creator. Will you spend your days examining self, or something greater than yourself?

Those who adhere too tightly to the father wound philosophy tend to approach life as victims. Victims of their circumstances. In some cases childhood memories serve as the basic justification for their own misbehavior and delinquency. “Someone hurt me; therefore, you must cut me slack as I destroy everything in my path.”
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The other perspective has God and the cross in view. It takes in the same pain from a completely different angle. The cross looms over and brings clarity to the trauma that creeps into every life. It alone explains the real reason people do the horrible things they do–they’re sinners. This perspective requires humility because it acknowledges the mystery of sin. Who can explain why sin causes people to do the things they do? No one…

The cross promises all the abused and abandoned that there will be justice. No one gets away. But, the cross goes farther. It doesn’t let the “victims” off the hook either. We’ve all sinned against people. Everyone has made a victim of someone. The cross is essentially screaming this at humanity. We’re all bad people. God did not die to save us from our daddy wounds. He died to save us from ourselves and the consequences of who we are.

- from What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him, ch 1

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But that’s just the news story. There’s a crucial point that Dr. Al Mohler pointed out during his daily podcast on culture and faith issues:

This is another indication of the fact that in business or any other field there are people who will put on their resumes what just doesn’t belong. We’re living in a world in which you need to notice something: there is a very clear moral judgment that was made in this case. No one has appeared in any major news report to suggest that what he did was not wrong. Indeed, there is near universal condemnation of the lying and misrepresentation that took the shape of a claim of a degree he did not have, or at least a major he had not fulfilled in terms of his college experience. Then, there is no one who supports the fact that he didn’t take responsibility for the error when it was in materials that he himself submitted to the board for his hiring. What does that tell us? Well it tells us that we do not live in a society that will not make moral judgments. In this case the board of directors of Yahoo did exactly what they had to do: they made a moral judgment. Now just compare that to the many calls, indeed the almost universal calls we hear around us for non-judgmentalism. When it comes to certain moral issues, we’re told “judge not, lest ye not be judged” (by the way, taking that verse grossly out of context). In this case, what we have is a very significant indication that morality still lives—but only in selected areas of life. Americans, even in the elites of the business community, still believe that honesty is necessary—that lying’s wrong… The insanity is not about making a judgment about Scott Thompson—the insanity is in refusing to make necessary moral judgments in other areas of life. Oh, and at the same time patting ourselves on the back about how non-judgmental we are.

Audio transcribed from AlbertMohler.com. Subscribe to Mohler’s podcast via iTunes or his website.

…Some of the most popular Christian leaders and authors stress the social agenda. Francis Chan, in his wildly popular book Crazy Love, wants Christians to live as simply as possible in order to give more toward the alleviation of “suffering in the world and change the reputation of His bride in America.”[25] I think one of the reasons Chan’s book has been received with such enthusiasm is that he is not telling people anything that our culture is not already saying. When Bill Gates and Warren Buffett pledged much of their vast fortunes toward the same agenda, the world applauded, just as it has for Chan. Chan is concerned about the reputation of the church in America, and not without reason. However, the true church doing the true work of God (calling people to Christ) will never win the world’s approval. Our message is offensive (1 Cor 1:18-25) and once the world catches on to that we are far more likely to be vilified and persecuted than we are to be cheered – as Jesus promised (Matt 5:11-12). We should find it a source of concern, not a reason for rejoicing, when the world likes us, as Christianity Today in its lead article in August 2011 affirmed it did.

A similar voice is David Platt’s and his book Radical. Platt offers better balance than Chan but still propagates a two-tiered gospel composed of the true gospel of redemption and the social gospel. While Platt is careful to elevate the true gospel, the social gospel of feeding the hungry and giving to the poor is the primary focus of the book and accounts for its popularity.[26] He writes, “As we meet needs on earth, we are proclaiming a gospel that transforms lives for eternity.”[27] The author does not advocate the social agenda as opposed to true evangelism, as mentioned above, but he does say that caring for the poor is evidence of salvation. As a matter of fact “rich people who neglect the poor are not the people of God.”[28] However, when we turn to the New Testament, we find that, while Christians are to be loving and generous to all people, they are never told to attempt to remedy the consequences of the sin of unbelieving humanity through social action. Instead, they are instructed to meet the needs of brothers and sisters in Christ, something Platt admits in a footnote (p. 225). In fact, the church is never commissioned to rectify injustices by dealing with the symptoms of sins but to “radically” uproot sin itself through the gospel…

In the full article, which is part 1 in a series, Gilley goes on to examine the view of well-respected evengelical leader Timothy Keller on this topic, pointing out that Keller has to quote N.T. Wright instead of the Bible in order to support his own view. One other source promoting this social gospel is Rick Warren with his PEACE plan: Promote Reconciliation, Equip Servant Leaders, Assist the Poor, Care for the Sick, and Educate the Next Generation.

I encourage you to take a few moments to read the rest (or bookmark it for when you have time later in the week) for an important church history lesson that puts this whole concern in its proper context.

“…we teach men not to die with Christ but to live in the strength of their dying manhood. We boast not in our weakness but in our strength. Values which Christ has declared to be false are brought back into evangelical favor and promoted as the very life and substance of the Christian way. How eagerly do we seek the approval of this or that man of worldly reputation. How shamefully do we exploit the converted celebrity. Anyone will do to take away the reproach of obscurity from our publicity-hungry leaders: famous athletes, congressmen, world travelers, rich industrialists; before such we bow with obsequious smiles and honor them in our public meetings and in the religious press. Thus we glorify men to enhance the standing of the Church of God, and the glory of the Prince of Life is made to hang upon the transient fame of a man who shall die.”
- A.W. Tozer, “God’s Pursuit of Man: The Divine Conquest of the Human Heart“

Consider how tempting it is to seek credibility in this confused and decaying world. Whose approval are we ultimately trying to gain? Does it scare us that a watching world might in fact see us as weak, if we do not have the talents, the image, the academic credentials, the high status equal to the world’s greatest? Personal pride, my Christian friends. This, our downfall.

Tozer, gathering his knowledge from the Scripture, exposes us for boasting “not in our weakness but in our strength,” because a Christian no longer has need of Jesus to save when there is no underlying current of inherent weakness. To hold up an image of personal human strength and triumph, even with God as your business partner, is a distortion of biblical Christianity. The ugly truth of our need is spelled out in the book of Romans:

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Romans 3:4-10, ESV)

And again:

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.” (Romans 5, ESV)

Consider how alluring it may be to fly the banners over football pro Tim Tebow of the Denver Broncos, musician Brian “Head” Welch formerly of Korn, politician Rick Perry, and all of latest news-headline-grabbing individuals. Some of these people are solid examples of genuine Christian leaders; many are far from authentic, yet that is not the point here. Tozer is getting at how we rally around earthly fame and respect, spotlighting our strength, falsely claiming ”Look here! Come join the Christian side! You can still hold on to your good reputation among your friends!” when the words of Jesus in Matthew 24:9, ”…you will be hated by all nations for my name’s sake,” speak just the opposite.

Listen to the Apostle Paul’s advice, where the focus is rightly put on Christ instead:

“…far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Galatians 6:14, ESV)

Finally, I was reminded of the lyrics in a Stuart Townend song, “How Deep The Father’s Love For Us”

“I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.”

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Meeting place is the Hasley Hall Theater. Directions and more information about the group can be found on the Bible study website: http://www.gococ.com/

We welcome visitors from Valencia, Saugus, Newhall, Canyon Country, Castaic, Val Verde, Agua Dulce, and Stevenson Ranch.

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Armando wrote out the following, hours after getting the phone call from the coroner’s office:

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“My joy is gone; grief is upon me; my heart is sick within me.” – Jeremiah 8:18

I wish I could just see his smiling face. Go to the gym one more time, eat pizza and hot wings with him. Watch our favorite episodes of the Simpsons like we did every week. I have lost today the best friend I’ve ever had, he was always around when no one else was available to hang out. He would be 21 this November 27th, and I would have drank a beer with him to celebrate. Seems now I will be having that beer in remembrance of him.

The first memories that come to mind was when my mom was pregnant with him, and my parents were explaining to us who we would be staying with while my mom was in the hospital. After he was born, as a baby, me and my brother Gregory would argue who would hold him and read the bible and other books to him.

I remember how we had the nook set up in our house that we called the “Sammy Corner.”
I remember how as a little kid he would sing “Jesus Loves Me,” and other songs we learned in church and in Sunday School.
I remember the family trips we used to take to New England and Texas.
I remember when he went on a short term missions trip to Mexico with me.

He always wanted to go on camping trips with me, but other events seemed to always get in the way of him.

Most of all, I remember him as an individual who loved the lord, who faithfully helped my mom in her Sunday school class at Riverlakes church. A man who grew frustrated with the Lord for not opening the hearts of his friends and classmates to receive the gospel. A man who knew that his Saving Grace was in Jesus Christ, and not in the things of this world. I don’t think, in the 20 years I have known him, have had a single argument with him whatsoever.

Now, he stands before the Lord, unashamed, for he was bought with the blood of Christ, and he will dwell with him forever. And until I join him, or til Jesus comes, I will miss his company every day of my life.
I am blessed for having so much time getting to know him, his likes in techno/electronica music, his interest in Geology and Philosophy, his kind, gentle nature.

The days will only get tougher for me and my family. Your prayers and condolences are greatly appreciated in this time of trouble. And I am glad to have the Lord, and my brothers in sisters in Christ to draw strength from.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

All praise be to God our Father in heaven, who sacrificed His Son on our behalf, so that there will come a day when there will be no pain, misery of mourning. But at the moment, I have too much of it all.

-Armando Steven Gonzalez
In Memorandum of Samuel Joseph Gonzalez
My loving brother, and brother in Christ
(Nov 27 1990 – Nov 9 2011)
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I’m reminded of the line in the famous hymn, “It Is Well With My Soul” by Horatio Spafford, penned after all four of his daughters died on a ship that sank while crossing the Atlantic in 1873:

“When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul.”

Where does the strength to go on even come from? The author of Psalm 46:1 makes it clear:

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (ESV)

We can look to a man named Job in the Bible for another example of suffering well. Upon receiving news from a messenger that his sons and daughters were killed in a natural disaster, he said,

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”  (Job 1:21)

How can a Christian deal with pain and suffering? Though I have not personally experienced the tragedy Armando is in the midst of, in recent years I’ve began to learn how the key lies in recognizing that this earth, with its disease and death as a result of man’s fall in Genesis 3, is not truly home for the true Christian. Heaven is our real home, where,

“Death will be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away” (Rev. 21:4). There will be no temptations to face, no burdens to bear, no guilt to grieve over, no sickness to battle, no unanswered questions to baffle us, no ignorance to humiliate us, and no unsatisfied desires to frustrate us. Nothing that has scarred and stained our lives on earth will be there to shame us. There will be no regrets, no remorse, no second thoughts, no disappointments, and no lost causes. Best of all, there will be no indwelling sin to plague us. As J.I. Packer puts it, “There will be no sin in heaven, for those who are in heaven will not have it in them to sin any more.” Small wonder that David cried out to God: “In your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures for evermore” (Ps. 16:11)  -John Blanchard [full article here]

Here are a few additional quotes to consider, mentioned in last month’s issue of Tabletalk Magazine centered around the topic of dealing with death and disease:

We know that we are going to die, but we don’t know when. We know that others we love are going to die, but we don’t know when. Neither do we usually know how. What we do know, however, is exactly what we need to know. What we ought to know is this: knowing more details about our future should not radically change our present.
“What would you do if you knew you had only a year, a month, a week, a day, an hour to live?” may make for an interesting parlor game, but the answer ought to be “The same thing I have been doing, hoping that I have decades left to live.” -R.C. Sproul Jr [full article here]

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Obviously, I do not delight in the fact of someone’s death. But I rejoice in the opportunity that the death of a believer opens for communicating the majesty of Christ and the glories of the gospel while comforting the family and friends and presenting salvation by grace to those who are lost but have come to “pay their respects.”
-Harry Reeder [full article here]

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“For the believer, death does not have the last word. Death has surrendered to the conquering power of the One who was resurrected as the firstborn of many brethren.” -RC Sproul [full article here]

Please keep in your prayers Armando and his family, as well as those around all of us who are dealing with death.

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Photo: www.Resolved.org

Recently I had the privilege of hearing some of the best advice on leadership, coming from someone who has made a noticeable impact on my life over the last year and a half. This was a question and answer time between Rick Holland and a group of 50 of us young men (college age and recently out of college) who are involved in a weekly Grace Community Church Bible study that meets on the campus of College of the Canyons (Santa Clarita, CA). Rick Holland has faithfully served as the pastor over college ministry at Grace Community Church for the last 14 years, and is now moving out to Kansas City to be a full-time pastor at Mission Road Bible Church. The wisdom and maturity he has devoloped over the years of ministry quickly become evident, and my purpose in transcribing some of his quotes here is to encourage and challenge other Christian guys in my life to consider additional ways they can purposefully pursue leadership. Since these are only select quotes with minimal context, you’ll definitely want to download the full audio from this event (4/27/11) and listen when time permits.