- More good news for Kent: the set he did for The Sound of Young America live show in September has been podcast (along with a set from Kumail Nanjiani in NYC), although it sounds like he performed over a phone line. Not his fault!

- As time passes, people come and people go. That’s a phrase I’ve been living by and it applies to the PHIT house teams Activity Book and Fletcher, who are holding auditions to find new members to replace ones that have left. But I hear that they are already full, so well, pretend you didn’t read this.

- Who are the top 10 comics in Philadelphia? Comedy.com takes a stab with their list.

- Some believe that in the near future podcasts will be the only way that humans will communicate between each other (look it up). Local improv group The N Crowd have three such podcasts of discussion between improvisers at last month’s festival.

But surely that isn’t enough…is Goody Parsons really a witch? The sequel to the original sketch may shed some light:

Elsewhere, Secret Pants is gearing up a brand new live sketch show, “A Trainwreck in Slow Motion” at the Shubin Theatre this Friday [show info] and Saturday [show info] with special guests Emily and Micah McGraw, Joey Dougherty, NYC stand-up Jake Goldman and sketch group Skinny Bitch Jesus Meeting. Here’s the opening video to give you a taste of what to expect:

If you want to hear more of Bill, listen to his excellent Monday Morning Podcast.

As their original post says – “And only a day after Halloween! Not bad!!”

Happy Halloween two days ago!

Just yesterday Twitter launched a new lists feature in which any user can create a custom list of accounts. So I took it upon myself to make a Philadelphia comedians list that makes it easy to follow all of the stand-up, sketch and improv comedians in Philadelphia that are on Twitter (there are 42 in all).

Some comics “tweet” about upcoming shows and others use it to just be funny. Some of my favorites of late:

If you’re know of someone that isn’t on the list but should be, feel free to comment below or e-mail comicvsaudience@gmail.com to be added.

And in related news, profiles in the database that contained a Twitter name aren’t loading correctly. I should be able to fix this this weekend.

Last night was awesome.

It was one of those nights that reminded me why I love performing comedy so much. The guys from Camp Woods, this new sketch group who have burst upon the local comedy scene with the fiery intensity of 100 fireballs, have started up a show at the Starlight Ballroom. For those not in the know, the Starlight Ballroom is a really big local music venue that is usually home to decent sized indie bands touring through the area. Having a show at this place is huge for the Philly comedy scene.

I was lucky enough to be invited to perform at their debut show on Thursday. And I think I did a really good job and took away a lot of things to do in the future wherever I play.

The crowd was about 20 people. It felt smaller than that because of the size of the venue, but this was actually a pretty good turnout for a debuting show the night after Philly went crazy because of the Phillies clinching a World Series berth. They were all young hipster-ish kids; I don’t think anyone was over the age of 25. It’s been a while since I performed at a “real” show in front of a crowd that’s more in tune with my own sensibilities, which I thought would be a great compare/contrast from performing in front of more older, adult suburban audiences.

I went on second. The opening act put on a great set and was terrific. I went on stage carrying my props (which is a weird thing to admit to saying in a public forum) in a big plastic bag like I was a homeless guy who thought he was Santa Clause.

The Starlight has a giant stage and also a wireless microphone. This provided difficult when I did my baby powder bit since there was no mic stand. I somehow managed to pour my baby powder in my hand while holding the microphone against my chest to introduce myself. This was a little hard to do and probably looked incredibly awkward and bizarre on stage. But it was the only thing I could think of. From now on, I’m going to always check to see if there’s a mic stand or not in order to figure out a better way to handle this if it occurs again.

But I loved having a wireless mic and a giant stage. I love to move around a lot, which I definitely did. It also allowed me to go into the crowd, which I absolutely love doing. I have a joke where I compliment the eyes of various audience members. I haven’t done it in a while but I broke it out last night since I could get into the crowd. I’ve done this bit at the one other time I had a wireless mic and it worked really well. But other times, when I have a corded mic, it hasn’t gone over. I think making it really personal and getting physically near audience members when I deliver this really makes it work.

After that, the next thing I remember doing was my BoyzTown (a fictional boy band I belonged to in the late 90s) song. I started this on stage but went back into the crowd. This is because I saw an audience member wearing a fedora-style hat. I did the BoyzTown bit in Philly’s Phunniest Contest over the summer and saw a guy with a similar hat. I took it from him and wore it for a little bit before throwing it back at him. That really got over well. So I always look to see now if an audience member has a hat within distance for me to steal. I took this guy’s hat, wore it for a second and then threw it to the other side of the room towards a garbage can. I was trying to get it into the garbage can but the hat hooked left.

Also during the song, I started to crawl and writhe on the floor like some backup dancer in a Lady Gaga video. This also had a good response and I’m going to keep doing that whenever I do the BoyzTown stuff.

I also did the hypnosis bit once again. I used my “hypnosis sock” which I’m going to keep using from now on, since it’s funny to stick a dirty sock into the face of an audience member. This time, he ordered me to do jumping jacks, which I obediently did. I was kind of kicking myself right after I did the jumping jacks. I did them at normal speed; I think it would be more successful if I did the order with 150% commitment and with some manic energy. Another thing to keep in mind next time I get up on stage. I also used the Altoids afterwards but spit them out. I also did the sign of the cross and pointed to the sky while doing this, which I did impromptu. It’s another thing to I’m going to keep doing in the future.

I ended my set with the slingshot. I had two audience members on stage with me to hold the ends of the slingshot. I then fired my hypnosis sock into the crowd. It barely fell off the stage, which was a great visual gag to end the set.

It was definitely one of the best sets I’ve ever done. However, there were three problems:

1. I completely whiffed on doing the “Before I begin my set…” introduction. I got caught up in the moment and blanked on it. It hit me towards the end of the act that I forgot to do it. If I remembered, it would have really gotten over and tied everything up in a neat little package.
2. I have a hard time remembering the order of my set. I rely on my notes in order to keep doing it. However, I left the stool way behind me so logistically it was hard for me to get to. It was very awkward. And it also led directly to problem three.
3. I forgot about the veteran’s bit. But I saw my American flag on stage and remembered. I held the American flag and said something like, “I love this country, but I hate veterans!” This got a good response and I decided to try out the rest of the joke. However, I completely whiffed on it and botched it. I can’t break this out at a real show until I work it out practicing or at an open mic some more.

Overall, this was a great week of shows for me. Here’s what I got from the week and learned:

1. Even though my stuff is definitely bizarre, I shouldn’t be afraid to try it out in front of an older, more “normal” crowd. It’s worked two times already. People who pay money to go to comedy shows are there to laugh. Playing to that without dumbing down anything I do (not that what I do isn’t dumb already) is something I have to keep doing consistently. Even more mainstream crowds like absurd/bizarre stuff.

2. One of my strengths is to move around on stage. Not too many people in the local scene move around. It helps me stand out and look different if I bring my natural manic tendencies with me on the stage and use that physically. Before every show, if there’s a corded mic, I’m going to test out exactly how far I can go off-stage with it. I’m going to mark the furthest spot I can get to (maybe bring some masking tape and place it on the floor like you’d do in a play) and try and work to that location. I want to keep a frenetic “madman” pace on stage from now on. But, at the same time, I also have to time stuff out properly to give the audience some breathing room.

3. If the microphone and stage limit what I can do physically, I’m going to try and do stuff without a microphone. I have an annoyingly loud natural speaking voice, especially when I’m excited. If the room is small enough, they’ll be able to hear me without any problem. It might also add to the absurdity that I want my act to have. Then again, it might not work at all. So we’ll see.

4. Definitely keep some of the things I discovered this week, especially the crawling dance I did during BoyzTown.

5. Remember my set-list. I’m just going to have to try and memorize it before I get on stage. And, at some point, I’m just going to have to wing it without my notes.

What also made this show fun was how great everyone who performed was. Joey Dougherty (who just graduated high school but has been doing shows for a while now) was a great opener. He did some stuff I haven’t heard from him yet that was absolutely great.

Brendan Kennedy went after me and delivered the best set I’ve ever heard from him. He literally had people crying in the crowd. What really sold it was that he looked like he wasn’t performing at all; he was having a conversation with the crowd, which is what everyone who does his style should strive for. Doogie Horner’s one of the best comics in Philly and is just consistently awesome; at this point, he’s more-or-less a professional and hits every single time.

Headlining was Aaron Hertzog, who hit an absolute grand slam. I think that Aaron’s improved more than anyone in the time I’ve been doing comedy. His stuff is now really tight and delivered very comfortably. I think he’s joined the group of comics that are considered the best in Philly. I’m very proud of him.

This night reminded me of just how much fun it is to perform and why I love doing this so much.

1. Are dirty jokes as relevant as they used to be?

I wouldn’t say they’re less relevant than they used to be, but they’re certainly less uncommon. Fifty years ago there was a distinction between dirty jokes and regular jokes, but these days a lot of jokes that used to be considered dirty are almost quaint.

When I first started the book, I submitted modern dirty jokes, jokes about cancer, pedophilia, rape, murder. And the editors said “Uh, not that dirty.” They wanted jokes that were just kind of ribald.

So, the jokes in the book are definitely throwback jokes, because their smut is old-timey. Also, they needed to be jokes that anyone can tell, that depend on the language, not the delivery. And by nature those kind of jokes are the old Catskill kind. Anyone can tell them.

2. Deep down inside, what do you think it is about dirty jokes that appeals to people?

They’re shocking, they’re naughty. You’re getting away with something when you tell one. You’re not supposed to say “poopy,” but you’re saying it anyways! It gives you a little thrill.

3. Where did you find these jokes? Do you know how old they are?

I found most of them in old joke books. A lot of them I found in multiple books, told slightly differently each time. Sometimes a guy would be fucking a donkey, but in a different telling of the joke he’d be fucking a duck, or whatever. Some jokes people told me at bars. Some of the jokes I’ve known for a long time, just heard them from word of mouth, such as the moose joke, I’ve known that one for years.

I don’t specifically know how old any of the jokes are. Most of them I know are at least from the 50s or 60s, since that was the heyday of that type of humor, and that’s when a lot of the books were from. I’m sure a lot are older than that.

4. And some Philly comics gave you jokes as well?

Originally I asked some comics if they had any dirty jokes, but the problem was that their jokes didn’t fit with the style of the rest of the book. They were too obviously modern. Or, they were too short, one-liners. There aren’t many one-liners in the book. Roger Weaver wrote a great one: “What’s the difference between Paris Hilton and a snow leopard? It’s very difficult to find video of a snow leopard mating.” But we couldn’t put it in, because we didn’t use any one-liners.

The one exception is that we used Chip Chantry’s dirty Willie Nelson joke. However, I was able to make a Dirty Willie Nelson jokes sidebar, and that Willie Nelson one-liner was one of four or five Willie Nelson jokes (which Chip also wrote), and we put them all together, so that was different. Yeah, Chip wrote a bunch of dirty Willie Nelson jokes, and we pretended like that was a legitimate genre, as though it’s as common a theme as divorce jokes or pope jokes.

5. What is your favorite dirty joke?

I think it has to be the Moose Joke, because it’s the first dirty joke I ever learned. It’s too long to reprint here, but it’s on page 59 of the book. I also like the one about the two fleas on the beach (page 48), even though it’s not really funny, but it’s so strange, it begins with two fleas suntanning on a beach, I like that. And there was one I really like that they wouldn’t let me put in the book, which is “What’s the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? I don’t have a Cadillac in my garage.” But they said no dead baby jokes.

6. What makes a good dirty joke?

It’s subjective, but my favorite dirty jokes are those that take place in an alternate reality, a world where crazy shit happens and everyone behaves like it’s normal. Like, there’s a cocktail party and in one corner there’s an elephant with an erect cock, but nobody thinks that’s unusual, that’s not even the punchline, that’s just the setup. A lot of old-timey jokes are like that, they live in an alternate reality. They’re the exact opposite of modern humor, where comedians try to be observational and realistic.

7. Did you write any for the book?

I wrote all the sidebars, all the commentary and the introduction and stuff like “When Is it Appropriate to Tell These Jokes?”. There are a couple different sections about particular genres, such as Pope Jokes, Lonely Lumberjack Jokes, and I wrote that commentary. I also rewrote all the jokes in the book, I didn’t copy any of them verbatim from the source material. I tried to tighten them up, hopefully I improved them.

There’s only one old joke whose punchline I completely changed, and it’s this one:

A woman told her lawyer she was divorcing her husband on the grounds of hobosexuality.

Her lawyer said “I think you mean ‘homosexuality.’”

– – –

Now, the original punchline is “No,” the woman said, “he’s a bum fuck.” But I changed it to “No,” the woman said, “he likes to fuck hobos.”

The complete lineup is below, minus the winner of the Helium competition being held on November 18th [show info]. But enough of my yakking, here we go!:

Thursday 12/03 8PM Show
Host: CHIP CHANTRY (Philadelphia)
HELIUM WINNER
BOY MEETS TRACTOR (Swarthmore University)
GENTLEMAN’S ROTARY AUXILIARY (New Jersey)

Thursday 12/03 10PM Show
Host: CHIP CHANTRY
FEEKO BROS. (Philadelphia)
Special Appearance by BING SUPERNOVA (Hollywood)
SIXTH BOROUGH (Philadelphia)

Friday 12/04 8PM Show
Host: STEVE GERBEN (Philadelphia)
THIS THING OF OURS (Philly/New York)
ANIMOSITY PIERRE (Philadelphia)

Friday 12/04 10PM Show
Host: STEVE GERBEN
CHRIS & PAUL SHOW (New York City)
SECRET PANTS (Philadelphia)

Saturday 12/05 8PM Show
Host: KENT HAINES (Philadelphia)
BETTER THAN THE MACHINE (New York City)
THE WAITSTAFF (Philadelphia)

Saturday 12/05 10PM Show
Host: KENT HAINES
THE COOL TABLE (Chicago)
MEG & ROB (Philadelphia)

In related news, producing partners for the fest, sketch group Animosity Pierre are continuing their Mexican Sock Puppet series. Here’s the second episode:

I’m told that the show will be re-scheduled, so feel free to email to be entered in the drawing for a pair of tickets (scroll down). And I’ll let you know when a date has been finalized. UPDATE: The show has been re-scheduled for Friday, February 12, 2010.