Now, to be honest, I’m kind of over social media – until something or someone new revolutionizes the current scene, I can no longer imagine myself getting excited about it. However, that doesn’t mean I want to stop blogging.

In the year and a half since I started this blog, a lot has happened to me: I finished my Master’s degree, I entered “the real world”, I moved out of my parents’ house, and I learned how to navigate a lot of “grown-up” issues like health insurance and making decisions about my career path.

When I feel stale, I like to reinvent myself, which is what I have done. As you can see, I’ve redesigned the layout. I’m also going to be covering more subject matter: writing, teaching, exploring current events and pop culture, living outside of New York City, and navigating friendships and dating in the Internet age.

I was recently offered an opportunity that may or may not be the key to helping me pursue my dream job: being a full-time creative writing professor. I hope to blog about teaching, new things that I read, the creative process, staying inspired, and being yourself in a society that expects you to be everything but yourself.

I hope you will continue to follow me in this journey, and I appreciate you for reading regularly. If you have any suggestions or thoughts, please feel free to leave a comment!

(Photo by Margarita Banting)

Why do people think that Twitter is so complicated? My friends are all like, “I don’t get Twitter”, but there’s nothing to get! I think it’s really simple. I think it’s so simple that people don’t get it because they are convinced it should be complicated.

Sincerely,

Alone on Twitter

- – -

Dear Alone on Twitter,

Before I started using Twitter in 2008, I was also under the impression that “Twitter is hard”. For the most part, human beings like structure and direction. Twitter has neither of those things.

Twitter is complicated because it’s truly the least complicated social networking tool. I don’t really hear anyone my age complaining about the difficulty of Facebook, even though Facebook’s privacy settings are a headache waiting to happen.

Few things are more frightening than a blank page. How do you think painters feel when they step in front of a fresh canvas? How do you think a writer feels when she sits down in front of a blank piece of paper? Where do they begin? Who makes their rules?

Twitter presents a blank box that poses the questions “What’s happening?”. When someone, especially a stranger, asks, “How are you?”, do you ever answer truthfully?

Instead of saying, “Well, I sprained my ankle, I was rear-ended by someone without auto insurance, and my hard drive, which I haven’t backed up in over a year, died.”, you respond, “I’m great – how are you?”.

How much will you share on Twitter, where no one can look you in the eye? Where do the boundaries lie?

Here’s an analogy: for anyone worried that the water in the pool is just too cold, know that diving in headfirst will be less painful than submerging yourself bit by bit. Taking the plunge is much more satisfying than sitting on the deck chair, watching everyone else splash in the water. You can always come out of the water if your fingers get too wrinkly.

Don’t pee in the pool. Stay as long as it makes you happy.

Sincerely,

Laryssa

(Photo by _nickd)

Judt was clear-eyed about the inevitable consequence of his disease, and did not romanticise his combat against it. “There is no saving grace in being confined to an iron suit, cold and unforgiving,” he noted. “There have been people who have said to me: ‘Tony, you are so lucky. More than anyone you live the life of the mind. It could have been so much worse’. Hello! Are you from Planet Zurg? This is one of the worst diseases on Earth. It is like being in a prison which is shrinking by six inches each day.”

Online, everyone lives the “life of the mind”. Our body hardly ever comes into play during social networking or online communication. Sure, you might use your finger to type, or your hand to move a mouse. But everything you see on the screen is reconstructed in your mind.

Do you ever feel like you’re so absorbed in what you’re reading or typing that you have to remind yourself that you are interacting with a computer?

I’m kind of embarrassed to admit this, but sometimes I will be chatting with someone on Gchat or AIM and have to remind myself that I am interacting with a computer, that the person isn’t there with me. Sometimes, I will read back the lines in my head and imagine the person having a real-life conversation with me. That’s when I know that I need to get away from the computer.

When text is your only mode of expression, you are living in a prison, in a way. Judt’s is an extreme example of the fact that language is indeed everything – but that it’s more effective when you can supplement language with gesture, eye contact, facial expressions, and noises.

Never relegate yourself to the life of the mind. Judt’s story makes me appreciate the fact that we have the ability to express ourselves with our bodies, in ways that aren’t textual.

What one person thought made Judt lucky – being able to live the life of the mind – was actually a burden. He was losing his ability to be in the world, to feel three-dimensional, to move, experience, and touch. Never take for granted what’s in front of you, beyond the screen.

(Photo by centralasian)

I might look up the person’s profile, maybe because I’m curious about how much time they spend online or which photo they choose to use as their main profile picture. But I will refrain from adding them. And lately, my new acquaintances haven’t been adding me either.

But we’ve talked about Facebook.

Me: How was work today?

Friend: Really slow. I spent a lot of time refreshing Facebook.

Me: Yeah, me too.

We’ve established that we have Facebook accounts, that we use it regularly, even obsessively. But no friend requests fill my inbox.

Lately, I have found the only reason I add anyone as a friend is because I meet someone I know I probably won’t see again but found him or her to be rather interesting a.k.a. I want to practice voyeurism.

I don’t want to ruin the magic of in-person interaction, the way I kind of did in college, when Facebook was first released and became popular.

More than ever, I treasure real conversations because they don’t seem to happen as often as I would like them to happen. I don’t mean the “Hi, how are you? It’s humid outside, isn’t it?” kind of conversations. I mean the in-your-face, gritty, tell-me-about-that-time-you-got-that-scar kind of conversations. The things that make us uncomfortable are so necessary, rare, and real.

I was really moved by “Intimacy as Text; Twitter as Tongue“, a short essay published in The New Inquiry last week. I love this excerpt:

In actuality, it is probably better to tweet at than kiss nine out of every ten people you meet. Internet sociality provides us with a legitimate freedom—we can now choose whether or not our body will figure into any given social interaction. Simply kissing more is not a recipe for greater, more authentic humanity. Rather, what is crucial is to remember, in the moments where the internet has replaced or eliminated touch, that an awe of contact, the very fear of contact that causes us to choose text in place of body, makes us human too.

Facebook is effective as a social networking tool because it gives us the distance we require from people we don’t necessarily want to “kiss”. But we love sharing, and we love hearing other people’s stories, imagining a constructed version of their lives.

The people that I see almost every day, the people that I both like and dislike – I want to interact with them fully and leave the Facebook stuff for the people I’d rather create as I see fit. Keeping a friendship and/or relationship off Facebook is sacred. If I’m friends with you in real life but never add you as a Facebook friend, consider this the ultimate compliment.

(Photo by andybee21)

Does Twitter have its own set of rules and/or conventions? Can Twitter be a venue where anything goes, or do people who ignore the conventions eventually fall out of place by losing followers and influence? Must you act a certain way on Twitter in order for people to pay attention to you? Or is acting differently more desirable somehow?

Recently, Kanye West joined Twitter. He does not reply to or retweet other users. Frankly, his Twitter feed looks like spam. His tweets are very unconventional, but people love them because A) he is Kanye West and B) quirky/controversial. If I started using Twitter the way Mr. West uses it, I’m pretty sure that I would lose followers quickly.

No one governs Twitter – it’s an anarchy of sorts. Twitter is mostly policed by the users themselves – I can block and report Twitter users as spam. Other people can block and report me. I’m not easily offended by questionable content and more angered by people who don’t engage with other users, instead posting link after link to suspicious websites.

I keep serious satisfaction out of blocking and reporting offending Twitter users, and I quickly unfollow anyone who I think is using Twitter incorrectly. Rarely do I unfollow someone because I disagree with that person. I just want to see everyone using the tool in a respectful, reasonable way.

Is this an anarchy? How is anarchy possible online? How do the influencers rise to the top? Why are people so committed to keeping the Internet a safe and happy place, and why are we so ready to rise to that challenge ourselves? How does our desire to keep certain conventions alive affect how we contribute to the digital information dump?

(Photo by <<graham>>)

Earlier this week, I had an unpleasant experience with a recent acquaintance who gave me a ride to a bar. Normally, I would have taken the train, but I sometimes feel unsafe walking back from the train at night.

After shooting pool for a few hours, I started feeling very tired and cranky. Though I had been having a good time, I suddenly really wanted to go home. Knowing that I had to wake up early for work the next day was also stressing me out. I asked politely if we could leave, since we really had no reason to stay longer.

“In a little while,” said my acquaintance.

I felt trapped and needed to contact a real friend. I went to the bathroom and text-messaged my brother, asking him what I should do. I considered trying to find someone else to pick me up. I could have left by myself, but I didn’t feel safe.

I asked two more times if we could leave, and I got the “in a little while” response two more times. That’s when I stopped being polite and started getting rude. My rules about text-messaging and tweeting in the company of others went right out the window.

Twitter was a place where I could vent and achieve almost immediate results. I tweeted in the company of my rude, disrespectful companion, stating that I wasn’t happy, that I was frustrated and not feeling well.

To be honest, I really wanted to punch my companion in the face but tweeting about the situation helped me vent my frustration. My acquaintance actually doesn’t use Twitter so that wasn’t a concern, but I don’t care either way because I was so offended and angry.

I would never advocate tweeting a bad time (bad date, boring meeting, awkward conversation), but I think Twitter can help when you feel trapped, especially if some of your Twitter followers respond with encouraging words.

I try really hard not to share inappropriate details on Twitter and Facebook, but sometimes I feel like I’m going to explode if I can’t tell someone, anyone. And I can’t always wait for my IRL friends/family members to text or call me back.

I’ve also recently discovered that foursquare is a tool that can help you be safe on blind dates. When you’re out with someone you don’t really know, make sure you check-in to the venue you’re visiting. That way, your friends will know where you are or, at least, where you’ve been recently. Sure, foursquare can seem creepy, but the people who love you will feel better knowing where you are, in case something happens.

Have you ever used a social networking site to vent frustrations about an uncomfortable and/or potentially dangerous social situation? Have you ever found yourself in more trouble because of it?

(Photo by blmurch)

Within the comments section on a blog I regularly read, I noticed a link to a Wikipedia page about Münchausen by Internet, “a pattern of behavior in which Internet users seek attention by feigning illnesses in online venues such as chat rooms, message boards, and Internet Relay Chat (IRC).”

While the Internet is an excellent venue for people who suffer from rare diseases and conditions to gather and find hope by sharing and reading stories, it’s also a great place for attention-seekers to gain unearned sympathy. Many support forums for people struggling with serious illnesses attract people who want to help others and/or be heard. But some people REALLY want to be heard.

The Internet both invites a huge risk and presents a great temptation. If you find yourself sharing personal information online, ask yourself why you are sharing and whether or not it’s appropriate to share.

Also, be picky about who can tear at your “heartstrings”. When you’re hanging out on Facebook, Twitter, or whatever other website, do you feel sad or sorry when someone shares disturbing news? If a person you follow on Twitter, who you’ve never met in real life, reveals that her dog passed away, do you feel for her?

You could be feeling sorry for someone who is making up ailments, describing symptoms he or she found on WebMD. These fakers could also be committing acts of fraud. Imagine someone setting up a website describing a sob story and asking for donations. Anyone can easily set up a PayPal account and solicit money.

Just this morning, I received an e-mail with the subject “I am writing this with tears in my eyes” from a girl I barely know. I’m pretty sure someone hijacked her e-mail account because she’s a writer who would never write an e-mail with so many errors, but I will probably never know the truth. She wrote:

I’m sorry i didn’t inform you about my trip, I had a trip to the United Kingdom(LONDON) and a  bizarre thing happened to me. I was mugged at a gun point last night, it happened at the park of the Hotel were i lodged but thank God i wasn’t hurt, all cash, credit card and cell-phone were stolen off me…but luckily for me i still have my life and passports with me

Approach anyone who shares a sad or disturbing story online with skepticism. Additionally, be wary of people who share personal news on social networking sites where it’s not appropriate to make personal matters public . Facebook is neither a medical record nor a police report and should not be treated as such.

(Photo by skippyjon)

From a large applicant pool, the CEO chose a handful of bloggers with diverse backgrounds and the most online writing experience. In exchange, the bloggers were allowed to choose one piece of merchandise, free of charge, and we were able to promote our own work too.

Truly, I felt privileged, and I’m pretty sure I started with the most enthusiasm; I was definitely contributing more than the other bloggers. However, I lost my enthusiasm after a few weeks when I realized that I was wasting my time.

Here are five things you shouldn’t do if you expect unpaid contributors to write content for your company blog.

Don’t lack focus. The CEO encouraged us all to write about the topics that interested us most. I liked this direction in theory because it meant we would all be passionate about our subject matter. However, this company’s merchandise is for a very specific market, and the blog would have been more effective if the content targeted a specific consumer.

Don’t put too many people in charge. I was answering to at least three people. One deemed herself a “technologist” and e-mailed me with a request that I knew was wrong, from a technical standpoint. Another person was the Wordpress developer in charge of making sure the content was loading correctly. And the third person was the CEO himself. Because I never actually met these people in person, the multiple contact points confused and overwhelmed me.

Don’t ignore the power of social media. They expected me to promote my posts via my Twitter and Facebook accounts, which I did, but they weren’t doing a great job leveraging their own social media accounts. I didn’t see them engaging with their followers, friends, and fans. And I was discouraged by the pathetic readership.

Don’t hire a programmer who doesn’t know how to use your blogging platform/CMS. The programmer was constantly asking me to adjust settings within my personal Wordpress account when I knew for a fact that he could have been doing more with their backend. I noticed a lot of bugs, and I reported them, simply because I wanted the blog to look great! All my requests were ignored.

Don’t expect a group of people who work virtually to stay motivated as a team. I’m sure that all the other bloggers shared my motivation at the beginning. However, when you work virtually and never see your colleagues, it’s really hard to stay excited. The energy that radiates in a real-life team setting is contagious; it’s nearly impossible to approximate this energy online.

(Photo by miss karen)

The Internet and social media have greatly increased my enjoyment of cooking and shopping for food. I’ve learned new techniques, discovered new recipes, and have been inspired by food bloggers and recipe websites. A few days ago, I poached eggs for the first time in my life after watching a video on YouTube. I’ve also learned how to cut mangos and make a head of kale taste wonderful.

Here are five websites and tools that have helped me cook:

TasteSpotting: TasteSpotting is a community of food bloggers. The TasteSpotting homepage aggregates photos from food blogs all over the web. Currently, the site displays photos of popsicles, pork curry, berry lemon coffee cake, and a method for boiling quail eggs, among other things.

When you click on an image, the site will redirect you to the food blog where the recipe was originally posted. If you create a free TasteSpotting account, you can even save favorite recipes to try later! It’s a great way to discover new foods and food bloggers.

Delicious: Delicious is a social bookmarking tool that lets you save links, tag them, and add notes/annotations. I usually use Delicious to save articles about cooking techniques or links to websites that sell hard-to-find ingredients. The easy access to tags helps me find everything I need quickly and efficiently.

Evernote: Evernote is a software tool that lets you save ideas, links, notes, and files. You can access your Evernote account from any computer or from a desktop client you install on your computer.

In order to help me organize my recipes, I created a notebook called “Recipes” (very creative, no?) and copy/paste recipes I find online. Evernote automatically saves the link and syncs the text to your account. I can add tags or notes, and I frequently change recipes based on the ingredients available to me and/or my taste preferences.

Google Reader: Through TasteSpotting and surfing the Internet, I find a lot of food blogs that I want to visit regularly. In order to help me remember these blogs, I add the RSS feeds to Google Reader, where I’m notified every time they are updated. Because I follow a lot of blogs in Google Reader, I created a folder called “Food” (more creativity), where all my food blog subscriptions are located. I can also “star” and share interesting blog posts here.

Twitter: For those nights when you don’t feel like cooking, Twitter can help you find “nomadic” take-out. In many cities all across the country, food trucks are a growing trend. What better way to publicize the location of your food truck than with Twitter? My favorite food truck account belongs to Big Gay Ice Cream Truck, a gourmet ice cream truck that parks in different New York City locations. The owners of this ice cream truck use Twitter to interact with customers and post updated parking spots.

(Photo by Phillie Casablanca)

When you were a little kid, did you pay close attention to the way adults in your family interacted and behaved during family get-togethers like Thanksgiving and weddings? Did you absorb their mannerisms and believe you were learning a thing or two about being an adult by watching them?

The Internet is like a huge table full of adults at dinner. They are talking about grown-up topics like politics, family, the economy, sex, relationships, work, money, health, and responsibility. And you can listen without worrying that the adults will change their tones or the subject matter if they fear that you’re listening.

I’ve actually learned a lot of life lessons by surfing the Internet. Frisky.com has taught me lessons about romantic relationships and friendships. Listening to Dan Savage’s podcasts has made me realize that adulthood means compromise, compassion, and open-mindedness. Reading the lengthy strings of comments on Gawker and Jezebel reminds me that a world outside of the celebrity-obsessed media blitz exists. Following my favorite bloggers, the ones who have been brave enough to share their feelings and deepest fears, has, in many ways, given me the courage I sometimes need to jump over the fence into adulthood.

Anything I could possibly ever want to know about being independent, happy, and self-sufficient is found on the Internet. It’s up to me to make something of that information. Just yesterday, I learned how to make poached eggs for the first time by reading a Mr. Breakfast blog post. Now, I’ll be able to make myself poached eggs for the rest of my life. Has the Internet helped you grow up?

(Photo by rick)