Warning: You may experience joy & elation if she is caught, has probation revoked & does some jail time.

I also grew up in fatherless home. My dad had a brain aneurysm a few months before I was born and was confined to wheelchair/nursing facility the rest of his life, and didn’t really get to know him due to brain damage etc. but I know he was a great man from what everyone told me. Also seek others approval and working to stop that. It takes time, practice, some counseling and support. And its okay to get others approval, just make sure its from positive people who are looking out for your best interest, and not from the psycho bitches that are roaming the planet like desperate vampires looking for their next victim.

About their insanity, ofcourse they are aware, they like to play dumb or to pretend to be out of control or play on “I don’t remember” card, but they know exactly what they’re doing and I’m glad finally one sociopath admited. What bothers me most is that they convinced so many people they shouldn’t be held accountable because they have a disorder. No male abuser can be exused because of his diagnose or childhood issues, but it’s completely different when it comes to these women.

And btw thanks for posting that article about fathers. I grew up in a fatherless home and only now can see how much it influenced (negatively) my life. The older I am the more I realize how much I needed him. My whole life I’ve been seeking other’s aproval and searching for a father’s figure. When I met narcissist I thought I’ve found what I needed.
We should send this article to all CB’s creatures and tell them: see what you’re mercilessly taking away from your children.

Sociopaths are sick, but they’re not legally insane “crazy”. Sociopaths know what they are doing, and often take pleasure in inflicting pain & suffering on others. Like my ex-Hitler. Or Stalin. Or…

1) CYB – Count Your Blessings, and;

2) GTFO – Get The Fuck Out

Get out before you ended up married, shacked up, and/or procreating with her.

I can’t add much more than this.

I’m a WOMAN married 25+ years to a high-ranking military attorney whose sexual addiction I discovered approximately 3 years ago. Attempts at couples counseling and subsequent filing for divorce have brought out his PD. I have learned that porn and prostitute addicts often have a combination of NPD, obsessive compulsive, and bipolar disorder. I see these things now, and wonder how I managed for so many years to simply accept it.

I’ve been trying to get a divorce for about 18 months. I say trying because he is dragging it out. I naively thought after I discovered his 10+ YEARS of infidelity and staggering internet porn trail, he would quietly and generously divorce me. I have been shocked to discover that his reaction is to blame me for “causing” his addictions and to “punish” me for leaving. He so far has managed to string me along with a loosey-goosey verbal financial agreement because he has lied about his income and simply not responded to proposed settlement and custody agreements. I have been in limbo for such a long time! The attorneys and the court don’t seem to “get” how he is manipulating this (once again) to his financial advantage and the disadvantage of me and the kids. I had to file with the Divorce Master because he simply would not make any move to negotiate.

I’ve been an at home mother for over 20 years. Five kids, the oldest just graduated from college. The youngest two have autism and Down syndrome respectively. I have the kids 90-95% of the time. Yet I have to PROVE to the Divorce Master why a 10 year old who cannot wipe his own bottom and a 13 year old who throws chairs at people need 24 hour supervision. The father of my children makes 6 figures but he and his attorney want me to get the least amount of money required by law, and push for me to go back to work while ALSO caring for the kids and their medical needs full time. (I said, if you want me to work, then take the kids every other week.) He schedules visitation with them randomly and rarely, now down to a couple of days a month.

As I’m gathering documentation on the children’s physical status for the Divorce Master, I’m also thinking it would be a good idea to gather info from our three counselors to document their father’s PD and sexual addiction. (I have documentation of his porn addiction and witnesses going back to 2002.) It’s not that so much that I want to limit his time with the kids (he barely spends time with them anyway) but to disprove his constant lies and get a reasonable financial settlement so that I can continue to take care of the kids in the house they consider their home.

I have a LOT of documentation. HUNDREDS of pages of emails, text messages, internet downloads and notes on behaviors. Any suggestions on what is most relevant and how to organize it? What is a counselor who saw us jointly allowed to put into a statement without violating some HIPAA law?

Any thoughts?

To the gentleman with four kids – when you have time, you will surely find a lovely NORMAL woman who will appreciate your excellent fathering skills. More than likely, someone who has been through a similar circumstance. Looking at the dates of this discussion, you probably already have!

For the first months after the breakup she would make a point to flaunt herself and walk by my office, bump into me in the parking lot and tell me how wonderful her life was without me. She broke down in October and told me that she wanted me back but that she really has no time as the ex no longer takes the children on the weekends and scheduled weekdays of the parenting plan. Another point there as our relationship was somewhat part time as we would spend our alone time every other weekend and on the designated week nights. I would come over on the alternating weekends and by dinner on Saturdays. The girls are not parented well and are somewhat out of control and were not necessarily big fans of mine. I am successful, have a good job, home and nice car and nice things in general. She always wanted us to get married but I did not know if I could handle moving the girls in. I have been divorced once and felt that this was the recipe for divorce #2.

At work she would tend to visit me throughout the week and we would go to lunch every so often however, all too often she would be obnoxious, angry or mopy telling me how much she missed me but did not have the time for me. She has also used work to plant stories with people in my department telling them that she has been seeing a guy who is 12-13 years younger than her. When confronted she would say that it was a lie and she never said such things. I am a dope as I would continue to cater to her whims and would obsess on when or if she would contact me at work.

She would not contact me after work or on the weekends. One of her daughters was diagnosed with a serious eating disorder after the breakup and has been in therapy and treatment since. We have been in communication more so at work for the past few weeks and she has found a new job that she starts tomorrow. It should be a blessing as she can no longer bother me at work but again, I will miss her in some strange way and feel that void.

Fast forward to this weekend. On her last day on Friday we left at noon for a company function and had the rest of the afternoon off. As she made her rounds saying goodbye to coworkers, I overheard one of my reps say, “You’re still seeing that one guy though, right”. I was walking to the restroom and kept walking. I came out and heard her mention “there are pros and cons to it”. My assumption would be pros and cons to dating a neighbor downstairs. Also, I have been on match.com since last fall and she would troll the site I guess to see if I was on it. She brings up repeatedly that I am actively looking for women and that I don’t care about her. It has actually made me limit any match.com activity.

When we left last Friday, I told her that I heard what my rep said about the “guy”. She flipped out and stormed out of my office. I followed her to her car as we were supposed to be going out that afternoon to run together and have lunch. I sat in her car and she said that she had no idea what I was talking about regarding what I thought that I heard. She then said that she would “plant” this information to attempt to make me jealous, after all, I am on match.com and how should she feel. I said that I was going to my car and would leave her alone. She stated that she was violent and didn’t care who she hurt. She hit me somewhat hard on the side of my head and attempted to swing at my chest but I held her back. We agreed to attempt to go out that afternoon as I told her that I would buy her a couple of workout tops for her new job. BTW, while standing in the parking lot upon telling her that I was leaving she said, “Give me some f***ing money…I’m broke and today was my last paycheck”. We met at the shopping center and she would not get out of her car. She pulled a knife out of one of her boxes from work threatening to hurt herself. I grabbed it and took it away. Honestly, I doubt that she was going to do anything. While I was talking with her the phone rang and it was for another interview for her new profession to which she answered perfectly cool, calm and collected.

We bought the shirts and tried to put the drama behind us. We did run together which was nice. We had a 5K planned for this morning which we had never done together as I took it up after our breakup. She had always been a runner and texted me last weekend that she wanted us to sign up for the race for this weekend.

After running Friday we had a late lunch and she left shortly after. I look at my behavior of being so supportive and giving positive strokes while all she could do was talk about herself. I feel like a sucker. We did not hook up either. We also had plans for yesterday and she did come over in the afternoon and we went to lunch and shopping for other things for the new job. One of her kids called and she had to leave and cut the afternoon short. It came down to today. She came to my home at the agreed time and she told me that I was lucky that she was even there as she hurt her leg. She was a royal bitch and when I was unresponsive she would say “so you are mad at me too”. She complained about how miserable her life is and if I could spend a day in her shoes I couldn’t handle it. She and her oldest child constantly fight and evidently had it out all night the evening before. It was a very dramatic horrible drive to the race and she also informed me that although we had plans to go to breakfast that she had a change of plans as she had to take the youngest to the ex’s for fathers day.

I really had nothing to say to her and told her that I just wanted to run the race. The race started and she was juking in and out of the 1500 people. I could not keep up with her path so I took my own path on the outside. Turns out I beat her by 1 minute. She was livid and talking about what a failure she is and how could I do this to her. We got back to the car to leave after driving to get her car. She was so nasty and I realized that this could be closure as I can now follow NC since she is no longer at work. She started complaining again and talking about how she had to go and I said “There were a lot of firsts and lasts this weekend and it has been interesting to say the least beginning with Friday and what I heard.” She said “What is that supposed to mean?” I told her that it was clear that she had been lying to me for quite some time to which she became angry. I told her that I would leave her alone, we hugged each other and gave each other a kiss and I told her that I loved her and wish her the best.

Do I really think that she will contact me or not? Hard to say but perhaps these potential last moments/days together where I confronted her will cause her to stop. I NEVER contacted her at work for the past 10 months. The longest that we went was almost 2 weeks but then she would show up and have some reason why she had to talk to me whether missing me, her life sucks or whatever else. This is toxic and I couldn’t marry this person in this state of mind but she has been this way more or less since the beginning. We broke up a couple of other times but would get back together and she would return to her normal self within a matter of days. I’d like to know anyone’s thoughts about this. It should be clear that this is good for me and that this last does of negativity and lying should put me on the right path.

I am really sorry for the novel. I just wanted to get the general idea out to everyone. Believe me, there is much much more that I have not included but would really appreciate your feedback. Thanks for reading.

When I found out the hell I was going through have a name – bpd/npd – I promised to myself that I will talk and write about it and warn people, because I don’t want anyone to become their victim and suffer like I did. And then these “defenders” and disguised borderlines show up and ruin the discussion with their twisted logic and lies. And even some victims of narcissists refuse to accept that bpds are abusers just like npds.

I understand those doctors who avoid bpds, I feel sick even when I see the word borderline.