Common Discourtesy

MOBILE

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:02:00 +0000

HA!! Now I can forward text messages directly to my blog!! The potential for embarassment is endless!!!

And it doesn't post right away...so I have backup storage for all my texts.

(maybe I shouldn't publicize this......)

MOONWALK

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:44:00 +0000

This morning, I had the radio on and there was a tribute to Michael Jackson. So I looked his music up on Rhapsody.

As I was looking at the song titles, something hit me. And in a Kaiser Soze Usual Suspects kind of way, I came up

with the following:

"The night started out as innocently as a night out for me can be. I saw her at the bar and said "say say say how

are you tonight?" First she seemed cold, distant, as if she was in the closet. I thought she was gonna say leave

me alone, but no she said somethjing along the lines of "the way you make me feel..." I told her "You rock my

world" and we headed back to the crib.

This morning was a thriller. Woke up next to a PYT after a night where we didn't stop till we got enough. The

pictures even fell off the wall. Definitely lived up to her name...Dirty Diana. She was in a bad mood, like she

wanna be startin somethin', so I beat it to the shower. Went back to my room and she was gone, and my TV. What a

smooth criminal.

Damn! Bitch took my TV. What more can I give? Glad she's out of my life.

So I called Billie Jean at the office and told her I'll be late."

RULES

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 03:36:00 +0000

The Rules:

RULE 1:
THOU SHALT NOT knowingly become involved with someone who is involved with someone else.

RULE 2:
THOU SHALT NOT become involved with anyone in the workplace.

RULE 3:
THOU SHALT NOT become involved with anyone of an age which is young enough that, in theory, thou could have created.

RULE 4:
THOU SHALT NOT become involved with anyone who is overly possessive, controlling, demanding, lacking in affection or attempts to makest thou feel inferior

RULE 5:
THOU SHALT NOT become the "convenient booty call"

THOU MAY make exception to the rules in cases where thine eyes or smile makes thou melt.

PROFILE

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:37:00 +0000

Another classic....

Seeing as my personal; status is now "Divorced", I decided to
test the waters and meet some new people. That's right....I
decided to try online dating......

Cheap bastard that I am, I went to one of those free sites, read
a bunch of profiles and noticed a few things:

Now that I've been on here a while, there's a few things I've
noticed........common threads among the profiles I read.......:

A lot of people love to laugh, and have fun. Do you really
expect someone not to?
Everyone's nice: Why do I say that? Because they say so in
their profile. I'm still waiting for the one that says "I'm an
absolute b**ch...."
No liars: If someone's a liar, do you really expect them to
admit it? Or is it possible that's why they're called liars?
No cheats: See #3 above.
Someone who knows the value of hard work: Seriously?
Does it matter that much how a man achieves success?
Search on income level: Materialistic much? And do you
really expect someone to answer this truthfully? We might end
up having trouble with the taxman.....
Good moral values: Still waiting for the one who says "I
have no sense of values, morals or ethics...."
Check your spelling: There's a big difference
between "moral values" and "morale values" (I guess those are
values related to your happiness?)
Must have a photo to contact this user: Either they're
hung up on looks, or they want to make sure they're not trying
to date their neighbor, ex, dad, professor or maybe even
priest......
Must not be looking for Friends: So are you looking for
enemies?

What I find really amusing is how many people attempt to put
their best foot forward......and fail miserably. A few words of
advice for the ladies......

Action photos are great, so long as we can see who you are.
If your only picture is a group shot, please caption it so we
know which person in the photo is you. Not doing so could make
for an awkward situation......
If your photo involves a trailer, not of the travel or
conatruction/temporary classroom variety, you may want to crop
or consider another photo. There are many negative stereotypes
out there.
If you have a picture with a car, make it a special car. A
picture with an old muscle car shows an interest, a hobby. A
picture with a hoopdee Corolla....not so much.
Boobs: Every guys favorite subject. Now, I know many
popular women's fashions invilve some form of cleavage.
However, when you're bent forward at an almost 90 degree
angle, it's obvious you're trying to show them off. And there are
a lot of pervs out there.

It also seems like there are a few "must have" photos that everyone should have:

A photo while driving the car, taken by yourself.
A photo taken in the bathroom mirror. Bonus points if we can see the camera or the flash obscures the shot.
A photo with another family member.
A photo taken at a bar, so we'll think you're a fun person.
The gratuitous boob shot(s). See #5 above.

So tomorrow, I re-write my profile, and spell it out for y'all.

PRICELESS

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 06:07:00 +0000

One of my classics, from last Fall......

You know those credit card commercials? What if Sterling
Cooper had the account? What would they come up with
after a night of drinking?

Would it be something like this?

Flowers -- $20

Candles -- $ 10

Nice Italian meal from the place around the corner,
warming in the oven so you can take credit for it -- $60

2 Bottles of Three Buck Chuck -- $6

Tequila for after dinner shots -- $30

Barry White CD -- $12

Trojans (Costco size box) -- $14

Getting to know the nice lady that just moved in around the
corner.......Priceless!!!

GENERIC

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 05:29:00 +0000

Does anyone remember the generic products that were big in the late 70's and early 80's? Plain white labels that briefly stated what the product was..."CARROTS", "PEAS", "BEER", etc.

Well, not only are they back, but this one takes the concept just a little too far......

RETURN REDUX

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 07:58:00 +0000

OK, so it took a little longer than planned for our return. Beginning 4/1/2009, some of the classics will be reposted, and some new content will be added.

Until then, readers, please help me to decide my newest tagline. Here are the choices:

Common Discourtesy.......a ridiculous way for a grown man to act.
How a young man gonna take care of his financial responsibilities workin' at motherfuckin' Burger King?

The rants of a middle-aged curmudgeon

I don't know....it just happens sometimes

CHRISTMAS

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 13:45:00 +0000

I couldn't have said this better myself!

(Thanks for the link, Bobbie!)

MONSTERS

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 07:21:00 +0000

Furry, happy monsters....(a Sesame Street classic....)

RETURN

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:58:00 +0000

Not only will we be back on 1/1/2009, we'll be back hard.

I have begun to think that removing my content was a mistake, perhaps an error in judgement on my part. So a selection of my previous postings will be restored to the site.

In addition, my personal life will become as close to an open book as I determine I'm comfortable with. I'll share the trials and tribulations of a divorced dad trying to make his way through the suburbs, the people he encounters, and the impressions left behind. I might even share some of the hate mail I've received from my six readers.

This is still in the concept stage, however I can assure you, it's gonna get interesting......

Nothing personal......just a little satire and sarcasm about daily life.

But whatever you do, please don't call it a comeback!

HIATUS

noreply@blogger.com (K) — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 03:36:00 +0000

Last year, when I started this site, my intent was to pint out all those things people do that annoy us. Annoyances we encounter in our everyday lives. And make fun of them. Sarcasm, humor and the occasional rant were the order of the day.

I went through spurts...some months I wrote a whole bunch, others I ignored the site. During that time, I underwent some major life changes. In fact, right now I probably break 1000 on one of those "How stressed are you?" tests.

Then, this month, I had another change. And I got a little creative, showing a more personal side of me. And in these rants, I didn't realize that some would take it personally, regardless of my intent. Even if I borrowed their words. (it is an awesome quote, and it did fit, just not in the way it was interpreted)

And they did. They were concerned, angry, hurt. To say that some of them hate me would be a pretty big understatement. And, of course, stubborn-ass me, argued about it. And chose my words poorly, and said some really nasty things. I was described as nasty, mean, hateful, manipulative....a whole bunch of bad things.

And to sum it up, I lost sight of the reason I created this blog. What it was supposed to be. I lost sight of the deal, the arrangement. I didn't think. I didn't listen.

I've done that in other aspects of life as well. Not listen to others, lose sight of what something's supposed to be. Recently, I got all wrapped up in the fun I was having, the good times, to push too hard to hang on to them. Needless to say, that was not a success.

So it's time for me to hang up my hat, to sign off. At least until I regain my focus, and learn to stick to the deal.

Signing off.
--K

NOTE: 11/30/2008: It's nice that I've gotten so many hits on this post. I guess my 6 readers miss me or something. People are even using their mobile minutes to read this message over and over. It will probably be January, 2009 before I'm back. So hang tight, and I'll see you then....