Common Outlook Consulting

Another Month Begins

Tue, 01 May 2012 22:01:40 +0000

May 1st. Can you believe it?

Where did Jan-April go? 1/3rd of the YEAR is over. Wow.

Did you make it count?
Did you spend your time in a way that was worthy of you?

This ultra-short posting is simply meant to acknowledge the rapid passing of time and remind everyone – including myself – to use our time in that way; a way that is worthy of us; that brings out the best version of us.

Live wisely and joyfully.

Farewell Singapore

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 16:48:55 +0000

Can’t believe it’s been a month already.

It was full, busy, and mixed in terms of the overall positiveness of the experience. Still, I’m glad we had the opportunity. There was lots of learning and it’s always nice to have a change.

My students at INSEAD brought lots to the table as usual: a highly diverse, intelligent, interesting group of people.

We are literally about to back away from the gate at Singapore’s airport. We’re off for a couple of weeks of vacation in Holland before returning to Canada, so I’ll sign off now.

Wishing you all well. Savour the opportunities life gives you.

Conflict→Creativity→Innovation→Productivity→Profit

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 01:04:39 +0000

While it’s true the Profit from Conflict can be evaluated by little black numbers on sheets of white paper, it can also be measured in how we Profit Others. And while money is pretty sweet stuff, helping others by: ∞creating Conflict for ourselves in the vein of the Famous 5; ∞prodding and provoking our nice comfy beliefs and stagnant patterns of thinking in the way philosopher Chris MacDonald does; ∞exemplifying and emulating former UN Envoy, Stephen Lewis, who walked—arms wide open—into the Aids fray in Africa…is an evolutionary, and in the case of the ‘Famous 5’, a sometimes revolutionary step forward.

April Fool’s Beauty

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 15:30:53 +0000

Happy April Fool’s Day everyone!

This is a photo I snapped on my iPhone today here in Singapore at the Botanic Gardens. Nice, isn’t it?

Wow – 25% of the year is behind us. Happens fast, no?

I hope you’ve made good use of your year so far. I’m doing reasonably well on that front, I believe, although I often struggle as a result of setting really high expectations for myself.

Today was a very good day. We spent it touring Singapore with a family member from Canada and friends visiting from China.

These are days I appreciate and remember. Love that.

Let!’s all have/create many more of those days as the year presses on.

To enjoyment.

Watching a Storm

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 09:13:55 +0000

I’m watching an amazing tropical thunderstorm here in Singapore as I type this.

The power is amazing. So is the beauty.

Below is a photo of it. I may add a video later too.

Why am I sharing this? Because I successfully stopped myself from doing something else “productive” so I could appreciate this special moment.

May you do the same for yourself today.

Peter.

THEY’RE DUKING IT OUT DOWN THE STREET

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 01:47:11 +0000

Forget about the big-name—Hewlett Packard; DuPont; GE; Otis Elevator; IBM—industry leaders touted as innovative and tough. Instead, walk over to the window; look down the street to Trend Hunter, and Toronto Central CCA (Community Care Access) Centre; then look up …way up to the friendly giant of Ontario skiing – Blue Mountain Resorts to see just three of the thousands of ‘local’ concerns swimming with innovation. In spite of their divergences, each of the three share one over-riding value: they are run by observant ‘customer-product/experience’ thinkers: people who actually welcome conflicts between: 1) excellent ideas; 2) differences in values; 3) products or services not meeting the marketplace.

Ahhh, Singapore

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 16:07:34 +0000

Some of you know this: I’m back in Singapore again. It’s great!

I have the privilege of once again teaching Negotiations to MBA’s at this wonderful, very diverse, world-leading global business school called INSEAD. Outstanding.

My family is with me, which makes the whole experience joyful.

So why the title “Ahhh, Singapore”?

“Aren’t you working”, you ask?

Sure, but it feels like a working holiday for all kinds of reasons. One of those is because of where we live. The photo below gives you all the info you need: it’s one of the views from one of the windows in the condominium provided by the university. Fantastic.

So what’s the point of this post?

1. To give you a little update.
2. To give thanks and share the good news.
3. To encourage you to give thanks for something good in your life.

Enjoy the journey.

’til next time.

The Power of Vulnerability

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 15:08:48 +0000

Folks – please watch this wonderful, inspiring, important 20-minute TED Talk.

It’s a great explanation of the benefits of going against your fears in your relationships with others in your life – especially the people that matter to you.

Have a look:
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html?source=facebook#.T17Vlmk6_5g.facebook

Family First

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 19:42:01 +0000

Dear Friends,

Wow – a whole month since my last entry. It’s been a while since I took that kind of time between blog posts.

It’s been a very busy time; mostly and unplanned busyness.

Early in the month, and unexpected but very serious health issue came to the surface with one of our family members (I’m not sharing who in order to protect this person’s wish for privacy). The situation caught us all by surprise and necessitated immediate hospitalization and urgent, major surgery. The surgery is behind us, but now the healing process is underway, and it will take some time and support.

In the process, a number of business and other activities/priorities got put by the wayside or rescheduled – as they should be.

So what’s this post for?

Simply to make the point that family comes first. And, it’s well worth the trade-offs and sacrifices. In fact, I don’t think of what we’ve been doing over the past weeks has been a sacrifice.

It’s been stressful, emotional, difficult, but also carried a certain beauty.

Huh? Beauty? Yes.

How?

Because there was an intense togetherness and a real sense of team as we all came together to help and support our family member and
each other as the crisis reached its apex and while the outcome was still very risky in terms of life or death.

If you aren’t close to your family, maybe it’s worth some new effort to get close. Or, if that feels like too much of a stretch (and sometimes there are very good reasons why it is out of the question) replace the word “family” with “loved ones”.

Here’s to honouring what really matters.

When Things Get Tough, The Tough Innovate.

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 02:40:52 +0000

In the past five years, business leaders the world over, have been trashing has-been mission statements and un-buttoning company cultures to produce innovative thinking radically different from the heads-down; ‘yes sir; even if you’re wrong, sir’ choke-holds that grasped corporations and strangled employees throughout the 20th century. Instead, leaders today need creative ideas to ignite agile responses to this turn-on-a-dime marketplace. And they’re doing it by…’gulp’…fostering conflict. (

From Pain to Triumph

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:29:43 +0000

I came across a great quote the other day that I just put out on Twitter and Facebook:

Sorrow and hard times come to us to crack the shell that encases our understanding.
– Khalil Gibran

It is tied to another good one:

There are few misfortunes in the world
that cannot be turned into a personal triumph
if you have the iron will and the necessary skill.
– Nelson Mandela

I got both of these thanks to a video on leadership I own; a talk given by Robin Sharma while in South Africa last year.

As I reflect on the past four years of my professional life, this holds true – although it’s only recently that I’ve become able to say this. These past years have contained many, many disappointments, many stresses, many miscues, and A LOT of getting knocked down and getting back up again.

In the midst of that, I would be lying to you if I said that I was sitting there saying to myself, “Hey, this is a great growth opportunity.”

No.

I was saying things like, “Why is this happening to me!? This is unfair! Where’s my reward for all my hard work? What? AGAIN? This happened to me AGAIN? “

Sure, I can (and do) give myself credit for gaining lots of insights along the way, and for seeking out (and finding) growth opportunities at certain points in time, but I really think the overall theme of my mindset was some combination of surprise, bewilderment, deep deep disappointment, anger, frustration, indignation, a sense of injustice, and yes, sometimes even resignation and despair.

But now – I am delighted to say – I’m through the abyss.
I’ve let go of all the upset, and embraced the lessons.
This didn’t happen on its own, however, or by chance.
This is why the title of this post says “Hard Times Can Build You Up”
As Nelson Mandela so rightly puts it, it took A TON of will, and A LOT of skill.

Hard times can also break you down. At a minimum, they’ll knock you down.

Sadly, some of us don’t ever get back up.

Sure, we look like we have, but in reality we are a shadow of our former selves. An empty shell, walking around with a fake smile pasted on our faces. That, my friends, is the real tragedy.

Did I have the will and the skill on my own to grow from this all the time? Absolutely not. “No man is an island”, said John Donne (I’ve used that quote before). I got support from my wife, from friends, from other family members, from coaches, colleagues, mentors, courses, books, audios, videos, movies, even some TV series.

But I got there.

Now I can turn around and share what I have learned with others. And I am – starting right here.

Wishing you triumph out of pain.

The Great Tragedy of Life

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 03:57:57 +0000

I came across a quote today that I want to share with you.

It’s one I’ve heard before, but well worth repeating – and well worth remembering.

I was watching a leadership video by one of my favourite leadership thinkers – Robin Sharma. In the video, he shared this quote:

The great tragedy of life is not death;
The great tragedy of life
it is what we allow to die within us
while we live.

– Norman Cousins

So true, and so easy to forget.

In the same video, Robin shared another quote I am fond of, from a psychologist.

Adults are nothing more than deteriorated children.

From this, Robin generated a powerful question:

What would the child you were think of the adult you’ve become?

Words to live by.

Let’s all live with these quotes and questions as our theme.

What is Success?

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:40:08 +0000

Yesterday my wife and I received a beautiful card from dear friends, congratulating us on the birth of our second child.

In it, there were two beautiful and important quotes.

I’m sharing the first one today, which occurs to me more like a poem, in fact:

To laugh often and much,
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
to have played and laughed with enthusiasm
and sung with exultation;
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived -
that is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

In this material world we live in, where we are constantly tempted by (and measured by) the external signs of success that still leave us feeling empty, may all of us have the courage and perspective to keep reminding ourselves of WHAT REALLY MATTERS, as spoken so beautifully above by Emerson.

Speaking of what really matters, here’s a photo from yesterday our baby girl, now over a month old already:

Savour life’s special moments, life’s beauties, and yes, even (at least some of) life’s difficulties.

Collectively, they provide life’s richness.

Gratitude

Sat, 10 Dec 2011 03:10:53 +0000

There are no rules; no laws concerning Gratitude. If you haven’t developed it or don’t use it enough, you won’t get a ticket; be judged guilty; get sent to jail. You won’t lose your job or the respect of your colleagues either…for you’ve made it a rule to say: ‘thank-you’ and everyone seems quite satisfied with that. But let’s not fool ourselves: saying ‘thank-you’ is not the same as being grateful. Not at all.

Profit in Conflict

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 04:00:56 +0000

There is good conflict and then there’s bad conflict. The first one gets resolved; the second one doesn’t. For years, bad conflict ensured good conflict couldn’t earn a dime, never mind a profit. But things are turning around. Figuratively and in real dollars, good conflict is generating hefty returns both in business and at home. And it’s achieving those results with very little initial outlay.

Radio Interview with Fredi Liu – Malaysia

Sat, 02 Apr 2011 14:07:57 +0000

If you’re itching to hear about some of the key differences between men and women in their approach to negotiation, and how those differences impact results, listen to Peter Hiddema, one of the world’s most respected negotiation experts, as Freda Liu Interviews him on Radio Malaysia.

Video Interview – HR Magazine Singapore

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 23:36:46 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0pf2yPEn-c Article – Don’t Wait Until Conflicts Arise By: Sabrina Zolkifi, Singapore Published: Mar 22, 2011 Singapore – Far too often, human resources (HR) practitioners only get called to manage a conflict when things have already gotten out of hand. Peter Hiddema, principal of Common Outlook Consulting and visiting professor of decision sciences at INSEAD, [...]

Battle of the Sexes

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 20:39:28 +0000

Do men and women really negotiate differently? Who’s the better negotiator? How do non-verbal communications affect cross-gender negotiations? To get the answers to these and other questions from one of the world’s most respected negotiation experts, listen to Peter Hiddema’s succinct and lively radio interview on ‘Ask with Michelle Martin’ (Source: 938 Live Radio, MediaCorp, [...]

Top 5 Sales Negotiation Mistakes

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 23:28:27 +0000

Picture the scene: it’s late in your fiscal year and you’re in the final stages of negotiating a big sale. If you land this one, you will exceed your annual sales target by 25% and your bonus will double. No doubt about it – you want this one. Then comes the bad news: to do the deal, the client wants a major concession that will erode the profitability of the transaction and set a bad precedent. You thought you had handled this objection earlier and put it aside, but you were wrong. What now? In this article, I will share some advice that I hope will help address challenges like this.

Shake it up!

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 22:29:16 +0000

How Master Negotiators ‘Get Bigger’ From the time of inception, we began to change. To say that being born; that coming out of baby and childhood was hard work, vastly understates the case, for the hurdles each one of us had to overcome were simply astounding. Generally however, between the ages of two and three, you [...]

What’s Wrong with Being Wrong?

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 01:36:11 +0000

Recently, I had the good fortune to be part of an audience where Peter Hiddema was speaking. He said a number of pithy things which I’ll share with you in future articles, but the one that hit me square between the eyes was that most people, upon making a mistake, feel themselves diminished by it.

The ‘Okay’ Gift

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 01:28:33 +0000

Your holidays aren’t going to be perfect…and neither are mine. That doesn’t mean to say we aren’t going to experience sublime moments, but to expect each day—each gathering to be only positive, is to invite that dripping icicle of holiday discontent.

“A Privilege to Give”

Mon, 13 Dec 2010 01:23:09 +0000

Every year at this time, Common Outlook contributes to a worthwhile charity. This year we have chosen the Toronto Foundation for Student Success: an arm’s-length charity of the Toronto District School Board. The TFSS feeds more than 100,000 hungry children in our city everyday, and it also acts as an advocate for students by initiating [...]

Deciphering Intention

Sun, 26 Sep 2010 02:39:16 +0000

Researchers at Harvard have discovered that babies as young as nine months old have a sophisticated understanding of social interaction. After watching two puppets make different decisions about how they share their toys, the babies are choosing to interact only with the puppet who shared. This leaves us to surmise that if the ability to detect social skills is present at such an early age, then surely those skills must be vital to our survival both individually and collectively.

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B Cialdini

Sun, 26 Sep 2010 02:36:32 +0000

Have you ever gotten an unsolicited key-chain in the mail, and donated money to the charity that sent it? At Christmas time, have you wondered why it’s suddenly impossible to find that special toy your child wants? At some point in your life, have you found yourself wanting to keep up with “the Jones’s”? Or against your better judgment, have agreed to accept less-than favourable conditions in a negotiation?

Friend Us On Facebook. Tweet Us On Twitter.

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 11:58:41 +0000

We are pleased to announce that the Common Outlook team has joined the great social media community of Facebook and Twitter.

Accidental Billionaires: The Founding of Facebook – A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius, And Betrayal by Ben Mezrich

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 11:49:07 +0000

With Peter Hiddema’s launch into Facebook, it seems only fitting we talk about Ben Mezrich’s account of how Facebook itself came into existence. His book is entitled Accidental Billionaires, and tells the story of a genius of an idea, and two best friends: Mark Zukerberg, a computer whiz; and Eduardo Saverin, a young monied scion, both of whom were socially-awkward Harvard undergrads back in 2004.

Why Your World is About to Get a Whole Lot Smaller by Jeff Rubin

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 02:32:23 +0000

Transit fares in Canada's largest city recently increased by $.25 per ride. As an infrequent user of public transit (short distances in off-peak hours), I already do a calculation to compare the cost of parking with the cost of my TTC fare. I don't factor in the cost of the gasoline my car uses, I figure I'm not going too far, it can't be that much. If Jeff Rubin is correct, those days are almost over.

Changing of the Guard

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 01:26:22 +0000

It’s both a sad and happy time for the team at Common Outlook. Helen Latimer, a dynamic member of the team, is leaving to focus on her writing career. During her years with us, she has established terrific relationships with our clients. For the past few weeks, she has been working closely with Penny Steen who is taking up her role. Ms Steen comes with excellent Human Resource experience, and is known for her unique ability to guide executives, middle managers, and professionals through their career, business, and life challenges. We wish them both the very best in their new ventures.

On the Move

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:44:58 +0000

Common Outlook is moving west, from Bayview Ave to Yonge St. staying in midtown Toronto. For visitors, we're seconds from the Davisville subway stop. Our Telephone and Fax numbers remain the same. The new address is: Common Outlook Consulting Inc. Davisville Centre 200-1920 Yonge Street Toronto, ON M4S 3E2

Happy Holidays

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:38:15 +0000

From Winter Solstice and Christmas to just being with family, there are many ways to celebrate at this time of year. However you choose to mark the season, we send you good wishes and cheer and thank you most gratefully for your business.

A Summer of Good Works

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 14:35:26 +0000

Common Outlook's founder Peter Hiddema found a wonderful way to not only help people grow and build stronger and more productive relationships but to raise awareness and money for a simply remarkable organization: On the Tip of the Toes Foundation (Fondation sur la pointe des pieds) www.pointedespieds.com. He did this by joining a group of intrepid travellers for a kayaking adventure in Greenland.

Liar’s Poker by Michael Lewis

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:56:23 +0000

About 10 years ago, I was living in California and decided to pay someone from an investment bank to provide advice on where to invest my hard earned savings. I figured the investment bank had been around for a long time and since it was making money, I would too. Oh, if only I had [...]

Getting to Resolution Turning Conflict into Collaboration by Stewart Levine

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 18:34:47 +0000

According to Stewart Levine, "Many people have difficulty accepting that life is filled with surprises, conflict, disappointment, and unmet expectations. These things happen-consistently and predictably." It's easy to fall into the conflict is 'bad' trap and in his book, Getting to Resolution, Turning Conflict into Collaboration, Levine reminds us that conflict and problems are opportunities: [...]

By Way of Introduction

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:59:09 +0000

For those of you just starting to work with Common Outlook Consulting and for those we’ve worked with many times, you’ll be familiar with the men and women who are the public face of Common Outlook. People like: Peter Hiddema, our founder, David Eaves, Gary McDougall, Amy Elizabeth Fox, Richard Dash and Jim Tull, among [...]

Persuasion by James Borg

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 17:43:16 +0000

It’s always a delight to find a book that can be useful to so many people regardless of the type of work they do. James Borg’s Persuasion, the art of influencing people is one such book and well worth reading. As Borg says, “The book will show you how to put yourself and your thoughts [...]

Take the Bully by the Horns by Sam Horn

Wed, 28 May 2008 16:23:27 +0000

A neighbour I can't seem to get along with is a bully. The problem started, as these things usually do, over something quite trivial. How such a small thing could have grown into an emotional hot-button between two adults still has me shaking my head in disbelief. Take the Bully by the Horns, by Sam [...]

A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:19:56 +0000

Daniel Pink Seldom have I had so much fun reading a book. From the Agriculture Age of the 18th century to the Industrial Age of the 19th century to the 20th century's Information Age, Daniel Pink's theory is that the 21st century will move us into the Conceptual Age. In the Conceptual Age, creators and [...]

beyond reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 22:23:09 +0000

Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro It takes much longer to read a book when you keep stopping to think about how differently you would have handled a particular situation if you only had known about the tools discussed beyond reason. beyond reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate is written by Roger Fisher, the co-author of [...]

Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 21:59:28 +0000

Herb Cohen Have you ever read a book only to find yourself wishing you had read it earlier? That was my experience reading Herb Cohen's Negotiate This! By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much. Filled with sound advice and fascinating examples from Herb's extensive negotiating experience, the book makes for interesting (and amusing) reading. Add to [...]