Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom

Because I'm A Mom...

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 14:41:00 +0000

Don't forget to enter my latest giveaway for a $50 gift card from Novica! Click here for entry details!

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Because I'm a mom...

...I have no problem going to bed at 8:15 in the evening,
even if the baby is still fighting sleep in his crib.

Because I'm a mom...

...I factor in the 300 calories I'll consume eating the
pizza and PB&J crusts my daughter leaves on her plate
into my daily caloric intake.

Because I'm a mom...

...I pick out not one but two outfits for myself every morning,
that way when the baby inevitably throws up on me,
I've already got another shirt ready.

Because I'm a mom...

...I've accepted the fact that my purse will be filled with
diaper rash cream, boogie wipes, and suckers,
making it impossible for me to find my keys, wallet, and phone.

Because I'm a mom...

...I've given up on ever watching trashy TV shows
in the middle of the day;
instead, I'm relegated to endless episodes
of Little Einsteins and Angelina Ballerina.

Because I'm a mom...

...Going to the gym isn't a way to lose weight;
it's a way to take advantage of free child care.

Because I'm a mom...

...I should vacuum the floor every other day in order to pick up
the tiny crayon wrappers, cheerios, and bits of baby wipes
my children always leave behind;
but I don't.

Because I'm a mom...

...I know all the words to all the songs from
School House Rock - and I like them.

Because I'm a mom...

...I've become an expert at using a nasal bulb syringe,
yet I've forgotten how to apply mascara.

Because I'm a mom...

...I have two hearts, both bigger than I could have ever imagined,
neither of which reside inside my body,
yet are an intrinsic, inseparable part of me nonetheless.

What makes YOU a mom?

I'm Changing My Name (Maybe)

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:10:00 +0000

Don't forget to enter my latest giveaway for a $50 gift card from Novica! Click here for entry details!

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I was standing around G's classroom during her preschool Valentine's Day party when one of the other moms sidled up next to me and pointed at one of the other little girls in the class.

"Isn't her name Grace?" the mom asked me. I knew exactly where this conversation was headed.

"She used to be Grace," I started, "but over Christmas break she decided she wanted to be called Courtney instead. So now she's Courtney." (To be fair, the little girl's middle name is Courtney, so it's not like she made it up out of thin air.)

Our little conversation got me thinking - are you ever too old to change your name?

I've been an Elizabeth - and only Elizabeth - my entire life. As a baby, when well-intentioned family members tried to give me a nickname like Betsy or Liz, my mother would ferociously snarl, "Her name is Elizabeth." In my third grade Sunday school class, I introduced myself as Beth in an act I can only describe as willful disobedience to my mother. My Sunday school teacher did, in fact, call me Beth for several months, until the day she had a conversation with my mother and mentioned my new moniker. My mother had no idea about whom my teacher was talking. When she got home, my mom asked me - with tears in her eyes - why I insisted on calling myself something other than what she thought was the most beautiful name in the world. By the next Sunday, I was back to being Elizabeth full time, and never tried to change my name again.

That is, until now...

I've always wanted to be a Libby. It's a nickname for Elizabeth, and in my opinion, it's one of the cutest ones. It makes me think of Sam & Libby shoes, the original ballet flats, and what's nicer than a good pair of shoes?

Is 29 (and yes, I'm rounding down - my 30th birthday is still a solid seven-plus weeks away) too old to make a fresh start with a new name? I envision my new Libby-self as a light-hearted, optimistic gal; the kind who doesn't have a care in the world, or at the very least, doesn't let the world's cares get her down.

What do you think... would you call me Libby?

Novica.com: $50 Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 16:20:00 +0000

My husband and I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day. I wish I could say it's because we're romantic types who spend each and every day cherishing one another, but that's not entirely true; we just don't see the point in using a fabricated holiday to justify extravagant gift-giving.

But you know what I do support? Extravagant gift-giving to oneself. Yup, there's nobody I like to spoil rotten more than loveable old me.http:
And I guess I like to spoil you, too. Because I've got a $50 gift certificate to Novica.com for one of my readers! What better way to say "I rock," than by rocking out one of Novica's new arrivals, like green scarves, shawls or women's clothing?

In case you're unfamiliar with Novica, here's the skinny: affiliated with National Geographic, Novica is a microlending website that helps bring artisans from around the globe together with potential customers. There are mens cufflinks from Indonesia and womens Central American accessories.

Novica also provided me with a $50 gift certificate in order to review their services and merchandise, and I selected this rayon batik dress in "Java Twilight" (I think that's an exotic name for "blue"). It's coming to me all the way from Bali! I chose this dress because I think it can pull double duty for me this summer: by day, it'll be an easy-to-pull-on poolside coverup, while by night the right necklace, earrings, and shoes will dress it up for a dinner out with my husband... if we ever manage to get three seconds to ourselves.

BUY IT!
You can buy the rayon batik dress in either Java Twilight or Java Emerald for $59.95, plus shipping (shipping costs range from nothing up to $15, depending on your purchase and shipping preferences)

WIN IT!
Or, you can win a $50 gift certificate to Novica.com and use it to buy an item of your choice!

HOW TO ENTER:

Leave a comment telling me you follow on Google Friend Connect (1 entry)
Visit Novica's website and leave a comment here telling me what you'd buy with your gift certificate (1 entry)
Post about this giveaway on Twitter or Facebook, making sure to link to this blog post; then, leave me a comment telling me you did so (1 entry for each post)

You must leave a separate comment for each entry, or they won't count!
THE FINE PRINT:
Entries will be taken through Sunday, February 19th; a winner will be selected using a random number generator and will be announced on Monday, February 20th.

GOOD LUCK!
FCC DISCLAIMER: Novica provided me with a $50 gift certificate for the purpose of this review. The total cost for my purchase was $63.50, including tax and shipping; I paid the $13.50 overage. The opinions expressed in this review are my own, and were not influenced by the sponsor company.

How Did I Get Here?

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:25:00 +0000

Last night, as my kids were happily playing with each other in the bathtub, I had the feeling that I was watching an intimate scene from a life other than my own. After a few minutes, I snapped out of my haze with a question fresh in my mind:

How did I get here?
After all, it was only four years ago that I first learned I was pregnant with G...

Seven years ago, DH and I weren't even married; eight years ago we weren't yet engaged...

Ten years ago he and I hadn't even met - and I was dating the man who is now my daughter's Godfather...

12 years ago I was a high school senior who had just been accepted to her dream college...

15 years ago I'd just had my heart broken for the very first time by my very first boyfriend...

17 years ago I lost my grandfather; sometimes, I can hardly believe that I've lived more than half my life without his physical presence...

26 years ago, I was the same age G is now; this is right around the time I have my first true memory of me dancing on the unfinished subfloor of the house my parents have now called home since 1985...

29 years ago, I was the same age Baby C is today; although I'd been with my parents for almost eight months, I wouldn't legally become their child until my adoption was finalized a year later...

So how did I get here? How did I become a mother of two who is closing in on her seventh wedding anniversary? How did I become a work-at-home mom who has more work than she ever dreamed? How did I manage to surround myself with the most amazing network of friends a girl could ask for?

One word: FAITH.

I can only say that faith brought me this far. Faith in my parents guidance, faith in my husband's love, faith in the miracles that are my children. But, most of all, faith in Him (as Lady Gaga would say, "Capital H-i-m). I doubt I could have navigated life's ups and downs without His presence in my life.

Do you ever find yourself shocked at life's twists and turns, and how you've managed to navigate them?

Why I Haven't Returned Your Email

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 21:35:00 +0000

As we speak, there are no fewer than a dozen personal emails awaiting a response in my inbox. One is from a dear friend who moved across the country more than a year ago; another is from one of the other moms in G's preschool class; a third is from an intern I mentored back in my TV news days.

They're all there, just waiting for me to reply. And yet... I just can't do it.

Honestly, I spend too much time on the computer already. When you work freelance from home, the Internet becomes your lifeline, your way to communicate, meet goals, make money. Between all my various freelance pursuits, I'm obligated to spend no fewer than 10-15 hours online each week - and that doesn't include my very heavy addiction to Facebook.

All in all, I check my email at least five times a day. Scratch that - I check my main email account, which receives messages from my personal and professional contacts, at least five times a day. Then there's my blog email account, my couponing email account, and my pool secretary email account: I check each of those at least once a day.

Yet, for some inexplicable reason, I find it impossible to reply to personal emails in any type of timely manner.

I could use the ubiquitous excuse of every mother, every where: I'm busy. It wouldn't be a lie, I am busy. Too busy to bother cleaning my house. Too busy to cook dinner. So it wouldn't really be that far of a stretch to say I'm too busy to hit the reply button and fire off a three sentence response. But that would be a lie. I intentionally choose not to answer these emails.

The reason is far more complex than simply a matter of time. You see, I am a wordsmith, a journalist, a professional writer. Whether I'm writing a post for this blog, for one of the professional sites for which I write or a personal email, I hem and haw over every word. I struggle internally over whether or not to include the Oxford comma. I ponder whether the intended audience will notice my use of alliteration, symbolism and parallel structure. I refuse to hit the send button until I've crafted the perfect piece of art.

I've never been a procrastinator, and I don't consider this an act of putting off the inevitable. I will admit to being a perfectionist, and I think my inability to quickly reply to emails has everything to do with that facet of my personality.

So, if you're eagerly awaiting a response from me, please stop holding your breath. (Travis, that means you - I can almost see you turning purple.) I've got four different drafts saved in my inbox, all pending proper revisions and rewrites.

I'll get back to you...

...eventually.

What About The Dog?

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 14:56:00 +0000

Yesterday was a banner day for me. I wrote five articles for my new gig as a staff writer for several personal finance websites. I attended G's first parent/teacher conference at preschool. I managed to squeeze in a little "me" time during her evening dance class.

What I did not do is remember to take the dog outside. Not once.

Yes, I'm a bad, bad doggy mommy.

The truth is, our poor dog has slowly tumbled down my priority list. I remember vividly the final days of my first pregnancy, cuddling with my precious pup. "I'm not sure any baby can be cuter than this dog," I told my husband as I cooed at our first child.

How very wrong I was.

By the time my daughter was three seconds old, the dog was already second fiddle. When we brought G home from the hospital, we held her, fawned over her, baby-talked to her, ignoring the poor dog. We still allowed the dog (whose name is Ducky, by the say) to sleep on our bed, but even that right was removed when Baby C arrived two and a half years later.

These days, Ducky is lucky if she makes it outside before noon. My husband and I often turn to each other at 10 o'clock at night to ask if the other fed her dinner (usually the answer is no, with both of us assuming the other remembered). We've had to move her food and water bowls so often - away from G's and C's curious hands - that she sometimes forgets where they are anyway. We avoid taking her on walks - she's so unaccustomed to it that she drags us through the neighborhood as she pees every five steps, making it too much of a struggle when you've got two young children in tow.

The final blow? I even removed any mention of Ducky from the "About Me" section on my blog - an unintentional yet stinging slight.

When I hear an as-yet childless couple remark on the large place their pets occupy in their hearts and minds, I inwardly chuckle. If only they knew how far down the ladder their pups will fall once a baby arrives.

Shhhhhhh!

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:45:00 +0000

I came down the stairs this morning to find the closet door, three cupboard doors, the bathroom door and the dishwasher door wide open.

No, we hadn't been robbed - everything was still where it had been the night before... including the dishes from my husband's late night snack (who apparently doesn't believe that all calories consumed after 10pm go straight to your inner thighs).

My husband gets up every morning at 4:30. On good days, he eats breakfast, gets dressed and heads to the gym to hit the treadmill before work. On bad days, he falls back to sleep on the couch, only to wake up at 6:45am to the sounds of me screaming that he's going to be late.

It's no secret that I think my husband is the loudest person in the world. Whenever he talks on the phone, he basically shouts into the handset. Even if his family didn't live a thousand miles away, I'm pretty sure they'd be able to hear him - without the phone.

Having a private conversation with the man is impossible, especially in crowded locations (the types of locations that are ideal for "people watching"). He simply doesn't know how to whisper.

And you can forget the idea of him sneaking up on anybody. He blames his flat feet for his inability to walk quietly, as every footfall causes the floorboards of our not-very-old house to creak.

But my husband has over-estimated the noise factor involved with just about every one of his morning tasks. He's convinced that closing a door makes enough noise to wake up the kids... so he doesn't close them. He's convinced running the sink to rinse out his breakfast dishes is so noisy that it'll make our dog start barking... so he leaves them in the sink for me to take care of. He's convinced that putting his electric razor back in the medicine cabinet will disturb me... so it remains on the bathroom counter.

While I appreciate the steps to take to ensure that the kids and I can continue sleeping long after he's gone, I don't appreciate having to spend the first five to ten minutes of my day cleaning up after him. It's at times like these when I do, indeed, feel like his mother instead of his wife.

The fact of the matter is, he has no concept of what makes noise and what doesn't. Closing doors? Cleaning dishes? Putting his razor away? They don't really make a lot of noise. Grinding up beans for his morning cup of coffee? Pressing the snooze button on his alarm twice? Forgetting to turn off the security alarm before walking out the door? These are the real sources of noise pollution in our house every morning!

Shabby Apple: Giveaway Winner!

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:40:00 +0000

The winner of the Shabby Apple giveaway is...

#18 - Melissa
Melissa, please email me no later than Wednesday, January 25th to claim your prize. If I haven't heard from Melissa by that deadline, I'll announce a new winner on the 26th.

Update: Winner confirmed via email on Tuesday, January 24th.

Big Fish, Little Pond

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:16:00 +0000

I'm not a big fan of cliches. For instance, I hate the phrase, "That's like the pot calling the kettle black." Um, first of all, pots can't talk; and furthermore, my pots are silver, not black, so it doesn't even make sense.

I've felt particular disdain for the cliched saying about being a big fish in a little pond. The main reason why I dislike it so much, however, is because - at least in my experience - it's true. Scathingly true. When I was in high school, I thought I was a big shot - I was near the top of my class, and I thought that made me a genius. Then I got to college - Duke - a land of true geniuses, and BAM! I went from being a big fish in the little pond that is high school to being a small fish, struggling to stay afloat in the massive ocean.

The same was true of my favorite extracurricular activity, swimming. I thought I was the shit in the water; after all, I had amassed enough gold medals and blue ribbons by the time I was 16 to start my own trophy supply shop. But every year, I was reminded of just how average I was when I went to the district championship meet. Each year, the same girl - who, in all fairness to myself, went on to win not on, not two, but FOUR Olympic medals - whupped my butt: whupped it hard.

So when I said goodbye to swimming, I didn't look back. I was happy to be done with it, to put it in my life's rearview mirror.

Until this past summer.

Thanks to the 50 pounds I'd gained during my pregnancy with baby C, I was looking for a low-impact way to burn a lot of calories. Since we were already spending a lot of time at our swim club, I started spending the hourly 10-minute "safety" breaks to swim laps. At first, I swam painstakingly slow, and the ten minutes just about did me in. But by the end of the summer, I was once again feeling the need - the need for speed (sorry, another cliche).

That's when I took my swimming talents to our local Y. I devoted one hour, one morning a week to lap swimming. And that's when I realized something:

At the Y, I was once again the big fish in a little pond.
Because of the day and time during which I chose to swim, I was surrounded not by high school athletes or even masters-level swimmers, but by little old ladies who were aqua-jogging; elderly men who swam fast and furious for four lengths of the pool before calling it a workout; stay-at-home parents, like myself, who were looking for a way to keep in shape that didn't involve an elliptical trainer or a treadmill.

Once they realized I planned to become a regular, they started commenting on my technique. "You must have been on the swim team," they'd say to me. When I'd confirm their suspicions, they'd go on to tell me that their son/niece/granddaughter was on the swim team now, and how much dedication it took. I'd nod in agreement; after all, I spent 3-4 hours a day with my head below the water's surface for most of my teen years.

Soon, I found myself handing out advice to my new workout partners. For example, just last week a woman who joined our ranks only a few weeks ago asked me how I got my stroke so even, as hers was a little lopsided. I urged her to invest in a pair of hand paddles, which would help her slow down her stroke and isolate her movements, eliminating the hitch. She thanked me profusely. When I saw her this morning in the pool, she waved enthusiastically - in her hand was a paddle.

Sure, sometimes I find myself getting competitive with my just-for-fun swimming friends. Sometimes, I try to see how quickly I can lap them, or see if I can keep up with their full stroke while I'm just kicking.

But overall, I'm happy where I'm at. I've found peace with my swimming ghosts.

And I'm darn happy to finally, finally be the big fish once more.

Why I'm Cheering Against Tim Tebow

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 14:48:00 +0000

These days, saying you're rooting against Tim Tebow is like saying you're rooting against God Himself.

It seems like just about everybody - casual and rabid sports fans alike - has jumped on the Tebow bandwagon. I think the only ones who haven't are those on the extreme political left (not me; I'm a moderate), atheists (not me, either; I'm a practicing Catholic) and Pittsburgh Steeler fans (my football loyalties lie in the Midwest).

Maybe my disdain for #15 stems from the fact that he plays for the Denver Broncos. After all, this week marked 25 years since John Elway - now the Broncos' general manager - led Denver 98 yards in the final five minutes to keep my hometown Cleveland Browns out of their first (and only) Super Bowl. Maybe it's because Tebow was instrumental in the University of Florida's upset of the Ohio State Buckeyes in the 2007 national championship game. Either of those would be solid enough reasons not to like the guy - but they'd be lies.

The fact of the matter is, I don't dislike Tebow; what I do dislike is the way fans laud and praise him.

Tebow claims to be a conservative Christian, and by all outward appearances, he seems to not only talk the talk but - more importantly - walk the walk as well. I applaud Tebow for living his faith out loud; it's something that I, as a Christian woman, struggle with from time to time. But I fear that for every casual fan he draws to the game of football, for every soul he either intentionally or unintentionally awakens to God's message with his ability to win a football game despite his inability to consistently throw an accurate pass, he's leading someone down a path of sin.

Yup, I said it - Tim Tebow is causing people to sin. Enter example number one, the first - and arguably, the most important - of the Ten Commandments:

"I am the LORD your God:
you shall not have
strange Gods before me."
Now, I'm not saying that Tebow is breaking this commandment. But can you say the same for the man wearing this jersey?

I can't tell you the number of times I've seen a person wearing a #15 jersey with the words "Messiah," "Jesus" or "Savior" on the back. I can't tell you the number of times I've seen status updates on Facebook urging me to "Praise God for Tim Tebow!" after another Broncos win.

Let's be serious, folks: God doesn't care about the outcome of a football game. And if he did, I daresay the New Orleans Saints would be on the fast track to the Super Bowl every single year.

The glory and honor that so many football fans - and so many others drawn to the celebrity of Tim Tebow - should go not to the man, but to the Lord who created him. And while I know that many Tebow fans are well aware of this division between the human and the divine, with every surprise win on the football field, I think many are losing sight of this crucial fact.

So when the Broncos take the field this weekend against the New England Patriots (note: my Cleveland ties make me predisposed to dislike Bill Belichick, too), I'll be - for the first time in my life - cheering on Tom Brady.

Woo hoo. Go Pats.

Back In The Hunt

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:45:00 +0000

***Just a reminder to be sure to enter my current giveaway for a great dress from Shabby Apple! Click here for details on how to enter.***
Should we, shouldn't we? Will we, won't we? DH and I have been arguing - with each other and even with nobody at all - for the past two years about this very issue. And now, we've finally made a decision.

We're moving.

Yup, the realtor will be over to our house in about 33 minutes from now (meaning I should probably get out of my pajamas) to discuss a listing price for our current home. We'll be looking at two "new to us" homes on the other side of town tomorrow afternoon. We've already spoken to the folks at the bank, and are just waiting on last year's tax forms to arrive in the mail in order to proceed with the mortgage preapproval process.

This is really happening, it seems.

And yet, in the dark of night, when nobody else is awake to hear me, I'm not so sure it's what I want. The fact is, I love our current home. Sure, I could use a fourth bedroom for my parents when they come to town, a dedicated office for my freelance work and a playroom to which I could just shut the door every night when the kids went to bed... but this was the first place DH and I bought as a couple. It's the house in which our children were conceived, to which we brought them home from the hospital. We've refinished floors, replaced countertops and even added an addition - we've made it our own. It's our home.

Furthermore, as much as I've talked about moving to the other side of town for the past several years, I've grown to like where we live just fine. Sure, I wish we were closer to some of the better schools in the district, but I love the preschool we've selected for G, the place where she takes dance classes, the local Y, our church... all things I know we'd have to give up by moving 25 miles west.

But moving to a bigger house, closer to better schools, with a bigger yard - this is what I've been dreaming about, right? This is what I want, right?

Right?

To tell you the truth, I'm not so sure. If you talked to me in person - and some of you have - you'd think I was gung-ho about this whole process, and in some ways, I am. But then I think about leaving this place, and I sober up a bit. I know it's always harder to say goodbye than it is to say hello - although I'm talking about a house here, not a person. I'm also notoriously anxious when it comes to change.

I've spent a lot of time asking God to guide us on this process. To let us know if we're making the right moves or not. Maybe I should do a little Tebowing as I attempt to hear His word; He certainly seems to be speaking to that Denver Broncos quarterback a lot these days (but that's another rant for another post). I just hope I won't be so busy repainting the kitchen and cleaning the showers in preparation for a showing to hear Him.

24 minutes until the realtor gets here... is it too late to change my mine?

Shabby Apple Dress Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:33:00 +0000

This giveaway is now CLOSED.
I've always been a rather girly-girl: I love wearing skirts and dresses. In my opinion, they're just as comfortable as a good pair of jeans. And when it to buying those skirts and dresses...

...Shabby Apple is one of my favorite stores!

Today, I've got a giveaway AND a special discount for you, courtesy of Shabby Apple. I've selected this women's dress, which one of my lucky readers will win:

It's the "Azure Coast" dress - as you can see, it's a wrap dress, a style I think flatters just about every body type. I also think this gorgeous blue color suits just about any skin tone or hair color. And while one size won't exactly fit all - Shabby Apple's dresses actually run large, meaning you'll get an ego boost when your dress size is a little smaller than usual - one style and color actually does fit all.

BUY IT!
The Azure Coast dress usually sells $82.00, but right now it's on sale for just $74! But wait, there's more! For the next 30 days, readers of my blog can get an additional 10% off their entire purchase just by entering this exclusive code, workingmom10off, at checkout.

WIN IT!
In addition to the 10% off coupon, one of my lucky readers will win the Azure Coast dress from Shabby Apple - a $74.00 value!

HOW TO ENTER:
Like Shabby Apple on Facebook, and leave a comment telling me you've done so. In addition to http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifgaining entry to this giveaway, liking Shabby Apple on Facebook will give you access to exclusive discounts and promotions. This entry method is mandatory - meaning if you don't complete this, your entry won't count!

You can also earn an additional entry by following me on Google Friend Connect - just leave me an additional comment to let me know you follow my blog.

THE FINE PRINT:
No more than two entries per person; mandatory entry method must be completed or subsequent entries will be deleted. Giveaway open to U.S. residents only. Entries will be taken through Sunday, January 21st; a winner will be selected using a random number generator and will be announced on Monday, January 22nd.

GOOD LUCK!
FCC DISCLAIMER: I was not compensated in any way for this giveaway. The opinions expressed in this review are my own, and were not influenced by the sponsor company.

And Now For Some Resolutions...

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:27:00 +0000

I once defiantly proclaimed that I disliked New Year's resolutions; I found them to be cheesy and flighty. I found myself unmotivated to keep up with them much past mid-February. So, I made the same two resolutions every January - to lose weight and learn to relax - and found myself an out-of-shape basketcase by the time March blew in like a lion. What do they say again about history repeating itself?

But this year, I'm going to make resolutions that focus more on personal growth - learning from the lessons 2011 taught me - instead of changing who I am or what I look like.

In no particular order, I hope to:

Teach my children - through example - about the importance of community service. When I was in high school and college, this was an intrinsic part of my life; rarely a week or two went by when I wasn't engaged in helping others in some way. Since becoming an "adult," I've started to help my community by using my treasure (aka money) instead of my time or talents. This year, I'd like to donate more of my time to the organizations and causes that are so important to me.
Find a passion. Over the years, I've had a lot of them - swimming, dancing, reading, writing, just to name a few. I'd say I'm passionate about exercising, but that's like saying you're passionate about cleaning toilets. Really? Really? No one is passionate about something that mundane, no matter how much you might like to think you are. I'd love to take up piano again, but not only do we not have a piano in our home, we don't have the space or the money for one. Hmmm...
Deepen my friendships. In the years previous, I'd been accused of preferring a large quantity of friends above having quality friends; in 2011, I realized that - in many ways - that accusation was very much true. I learned who my deepest, dearest, can't-live-without-you friends really were (and who they weren't) and learned that a small circle of best buddies is better than a large gathering of people who are friends in name only.
Spend less time online. Yeah, I know, this isn't really a "personal growth" type of goal on the surface - it's much more about changing my woebegone ways. But if you look a little deeper, it really is about growing as a person. That's because the Internet (did you know the "I" in Internet should always be upper case? It's true!) takes up way too much of my time: time that would be better spend with my children, husband and friends. I feel like if I could separate myself from my gadgets more often, I'd have more time for things... things like personal growth!

So what are your goals, resolutions, aspirations for 2012?

What I Learned About Myself This Year

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 14:54:00 +0000

Just about a year ago, I made a resolution to do three things in 2011:

Resolution #1: Wash my face twice daily
Result: Epic fail. I had a baby, I barely had time to wash my face once a week for a while there

Resolution #2: Be more accountable with our money
Result: Depends on who you ask. If you ask me, we did a great job of this. If you ask my husband, he'll tell you I'm right up there with Ebeneezer Scrooge when it comes to managing finances.

Resolution #3: Cook more
Result: I cooked one chicken breast this year... and that happened last week.

Turns out, 2011 was about much more than getting our financial ducks in a row or failing to enhance my (lack of) culinary skills. 2011 was a pretty transcendental year for me.

Over the past 12 months, I've learned to let things go. To give things up. Old grudges, my fear of failure, my perfectionism: they're all gone (well, mostly gone).

I learned that I don't have to try so hard to make people like me. I think this is less a lesson I learned and more a result of growing older. As I approach 30, I realize that, first of all, it doesn't matter if everyone likes me or not, and secondly, I decided that I didn't care. Because of that, I was more willing to help strangers without expecting anything out of it, to strike up a conversation with the woman on the treadmill next to me at the gym, to leave a funny comment on an old acquaintance's Facebook page.

I realized this year that I don't have to always be in control. I learned that some of life's most beautiful moments -- and in some cases, life itself -- happens when you least expect it, even when you least want it. I found that having faith is far more important than having power.

I learned that I don't always have to be right -- and more importantly, that I don't always have to fight to prove it. I learned that sometimes, most of the time, actually, it's ok not to have the last word.

I learned not to be so hard on myself. I had been pushing and pushing and pushing myself toward some unattainable level of perfection, trying to be a person and make the kind of decisions that didn't really fit who I was or where I was in life. I was trying to be something I wasn't -- something I didn't want to be -- and wasn't giving myself the benefit of the doubt. I learned to give others the benefit of the doubt as well.

But most importantly, I learned to like myself this year. It sounds simple, maybe too simple, but it's a lesson 29 -- almost 30 -- years in the making.

Christmas Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 14:51:00 +0000

I'm going to take a little hiatus during this busy holiday season, as I try to keep a tenuous grip on what right now seems like a pretty perfect life. I'm not going to worry myself silly about coming up with fresh material for my blog. I'm going to hold on to the amazingly mundane, amazingly beautiful parts of my life: my children, my husband, my friends.

I hope you'll hold on while I take this brief pause!

HowTo Occupy Your Kids Over Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 14:47:00 +0000

The Christmas holidays are probably the most interesting holidays for everyone. This is the best time for family gatherings. This is also the time that the characters of your children might be easily destroyed as this is the time most parents forget to be as strict as they should. The children should therefore be engaged in several duties over the holidays.

You can divide your child’s day into three sections. The child should be occupied with small chores for the first part of the day. This is to teach that people have to work even as they celebrate, as there is always something to be done. As much as they might not like this, make them understand that it is part of human nature to work. If the children are older, you can have them do the extra special chores for some money. This will help them learn about responsibility and the value of money. Younger children can be promised a present from Father Christmas if they work.

There is school after the Christmas celebrations. Have your child do some preschool activities. This does not have to be extensive reading. They can read interesting story books or play with educational toys like the alphabet blocks.

Have your kids spend part of their day outside, if the weather permits. This helps them to relax and learn other things outside school work. However, ensure that they are under constant observation. You should also ensure that you do not overcrowd their space with your presence as they will feel uncomfortable. Take your children to a nearby park. They will be able to appreciate nature more. Take them for swimming and other fun activities.

A lot of companies have fun days over the Christmas holidays, attend your company’s Christmas party with your children to help them interact with other children and also know where you work better.

Take your kids to visit their grandparents. This is far from the city where they get to appreciate life more. Their grandparents will tell them several interesting life stories that will enlighten them more. Since most family members are home at the same time during this period, schedule about one hour a day where you can share and have fun with your children. This will work by helping you bond as a family. The kids are also going to appreciate the family more.

Help your kids explore their talents. Encourage them to listen to good music, watch interesting movies and dance. Your kids will end up believing in themselves hence making them more confident. Lastly, give them time to be alone and be creative. You can lead them to fantasy play where they create an imagination out of what they see.

The Dirty Alphabet

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 16:30:00 +0000

Please don't call child services on me!

I've been working with G on her phonemes (the sound -- or in the case of A, C, E, G, I, O, U and Y, the sounds -- each letter makes) for a while now, and the concept is really starting to sink in... except...

She isn't really drawing age-appropriate correlations between these letters, their sounds and the words in which they're used.

For example, in the past two weeks, G has told me:

B is for beer. (What, not baby? Ball?)

L is for liquor. (Seriously? The last time I drank hard liquor was... was... see, that's how uncool I am, I can't even remember the last time I took a shot -- and I'm sure my sensitive stomach thanks me for it.)

W is for wine. (Additionally, when she plays with her "Little People," her "mommy" doll is frequently heard telling her "daddy" doll that she needs a glass of wine after the baby doll goes to bed. Am I really that bad?)

Next week, we'll be working on the letters C (for cosmopolitan) and M (for martini).

This post was sponsored by the letter D, for drunkard, which -- despite the evidence to the contrary -- I am not.

Cheap Insurance for Moms

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 16:10:00 +0000

Women are one of the most under-insured demographics in all areas. It may be because some women are single or stay at home moms and don't feel they need life insurance. For single moms, money is usually tight and insurance is seen as a luxury that usually doesn't fit in the budget. Cheap home insurance is available for anyone willing to get a cheap insurance quote and take measures to get discounts in order to lower already cheap rates.

Renters and homeowners both need adequate insurance so that, in the event of a fire or accident, they don't incur extra expenses aside from their deductible. The stress of dealing with any situation where an insurance claim needs to be made is bad enough, there's no need to add to the troubles financially. Plus it's usually required by law, so to be without it will cause more financial strain. Get a quote for cheap home insurance and you'll find that, paired with discounts, it's more affordable than you might think. Car insurance is similar and it's required in most states in order to legally drive.

After getting a cheap home insurance quote, see if you qualify for discounts such as living in a safe neighborhood, having a higher deductible, and installing safety devices to prevent break in or injuries. For car insurance you might qualify for discounts if you are a member of the military, have a good driving record, keep a high deductible, install anti-theft devices and drive a reliable vehicle.
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Life insurance, unlike auto and home insurance, isn't required at all and therefore many women have too little or no coverage. Only single women without dependents might consider not being insured; but for those with partners and children, insurance should not be considered optional. Single moms will need someone to provide for and look after their kids in the event of death; while family might take in the kids, it's not cheap to add a few more members to a household without additional money. Stay at home moms need policies because they provide considerable economic value to the home. Wage earning moms, even if their earn much less than their partner, depend on their income in some way and thus it will need to be replaced should she pass on.

Moms should have 8-10 times the amount of their annual income in life insurance. However, if you have young kids at home you might consider upwards of twenty times your income. For stay at home moms $500,000 is a reasonable amount of insurance to buy. The best way to keep premiums low is to be a non-smoker, not drink and maintain a healthy weight.

Getting all of insurance policies from the same company can also result in a discount since you'll be considered a valued customer. Try paying for your premiums just once a year to reduce time and cost for both you and the insurance company. Most give discounts if you pay semi-annually or annually instead of monthly.

Don't delay getting a cheap insurance quote in any area in which you need to be insured. The stability of your family and the strain on your bank account in an emergency depend on being properly insured. Make it a priority to get insured immediately.

Does It Really Get Any Better?

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:45:00 +0000

I have a friend who just started back to work this week after giving birth to her first child. All week, she's been glum over the realization that her schedule only gives her about an hour and a half daily with her son. She's been asking her mom friends whether or not it gets better, begging us to tell her it will.

So I don't think she was really thrilled with my answer...

It won't.

I know, that's soooo pessimistic. But I've been there. I've done that. I wrote the book (actually, just a blog) about it.

For the first 25 months of G's life, I was a working mom -- hence the original title of this blog. When I first went back to work after my maternity leave, it was painful. I spent roughly 8 hours and 47 minutes of my 9-hour workday pining for her, longing to see her smiley face instead of my boss's dour expression.

I cried when I missed her roll over for the first time.

I threw a minor tantrum when I missed her first word, which was not "Mama."

I had a hissy fit when I missed her first feeble attempts at crawling.

And it only got worse from there. Over those two years, I missed more memories -- not just the coveted "firsts," but subtle, run-of-the-mill milestones I'll never get back -- than I care to count. I did the math, and realized my daughter saw her daddy and her nanny more than she saw me during any given week. It broke my heart.

As G got older, I realized I'd soon be missing out on even more. Working would keep me from helping out in her preschool as a room mom. It would keep me from being able to take her to -- and watch her at -- dance class. It would deprive me of the time to swim with her on a lazy Tuesday afternoon at the local Y. And as I looked down the road, I saw my work interfering with volleyball games as a teenager, sending her off on her first date, teaching her to drive a car.

I've always said on this blog that I admire those working moms who love their jobs so much that spending 40, 50 even 60 hours a week away from their children is worth it; I wasn't that lucky, and I have no shame in admitting that I was supremely jealous of the moms who felt that kind of passion toward their career.

But I don't think even the most seasoned working mom will tell you that she'd rather choose an 8am board meeting or a 7pm "working dinner" over spending time with her children.

So, does it ever get any easier? In my experience, no. It never did. I felt a pang every day when I left my daughter behind in the care of a nanny. I felt a sense of longing every day when I stared at her picture at my work desk. And I felt a rush of exuberant joy every evening when I returned home to her.

But I got used to it. I adjusted. I compensated. And I got through it. And my friend will too.

The Truth About My Son

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 14:52:00 +0000

I've been in denial about this for a long time. I've made excuses, beaten around the bush, come up with every possible explanation. But last night, I finally came to grips with the painful truth:

I have a fussy son.

This was not an admission I take lightly. I love my so fiercely, protectively, overwhelmingly; and when you tell someone that you have a "fussy" child, they often automatically assume that child is a trouble-maker, or somehow inherently bad. (Well, you know what they say about people who assume...)

Baby C isn't a bad kid; he isn't a problem child, or the devil incarnate, as my mom's pedicure-ist (is that a word?) recently described her own infant daughter. He's a sweet baby, easy with his smiles and infectious with his laugh... as long as you're doing what he wants, when he wants it.

Take, for example, the last 24 hours. DH worked all weekend (and by "all," I mean 13 hour shifts for three straight days; he hasn't seen either child -- at least while they were awake -- since Thursday), so I was the sole caregiver. G was fine; the older she gets, the more helpful she becomes -- with a few exceptions, of course. But Baby C: well, he was another story.

On Sunday, Baby C decided he didn't want to be put down... at all. After waking up at the painfully early hour of 6am, he literally cried every single time I put him down -- for a nap, in his high chair for a meal, in his Johnny Jumper, in his exersaucer, on the ground next to his sister. The only time he stopped crying was when I picked him up; so I held him -- with five minute breaks here and there to go to the bathroom -- from basically 6am until 7pm, when, exhausted from his day-long campaign against... well, I'm not sure what he was fighting against... he fell asleep in my arms.

C's clinginess, however, is just the beginning. He also refuses to eat any baby food that comes from a jar, tub or bottle. That means he'll only nurse, and will only eat the fruits and veggies that I make (with the sole exception of Gerber Puffs; thank goodness for those!).

Oh, and did I mention he breaks out in a rash whenever he even looks at a disposable diaper? So much for the two packages of Target-brand diapers I have in his closet, "just in case" we have a cloth diaper accident while on the go.

I'm actually hoping that by admitting to Baby C's fussiness, the universe will take pity on us both and teach him some calming tactics (and me some coping tactics)... which I'm hoping you can do for me as well! Do you have any tips for dealing with a demanding baby?

A Cry For Help

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:27:00 +0000

She's one of the most beautiful, talented, charismatic women that I know... but you wouldn't know it by her Facebook page.

Her Facebook status updates constantly seem to question her very worth. Things like, "I'm the least exciting person I know," and "Why doesn't anybody trust me?" permeate her page. They're said with a smile -- well, at least a :) -- and are always refuted by her legion of Facebook friends.

At first, I was always quick to chime in my two cents as well, reminding her of all the wonderful people, things and personal attributes for which she has to be thankful.

Then I stopped, for a couple of reasons.

First, if she really does believe these things, then a simple reassurance on a social networking site won't be enough to change her mind. And if she's just saying them as a ploy for public adoration, then I don't really want to be a part of the ego-feeding.

I read a news story the other day about how few people actually use their cell phones and smartphones to make calls; we've become a culture that keeps in touch via text messages and tries to connect on the web. But stuff like this remind me that you can't judge a person by her Facebook status; you can't evaluate situations based on a Tweet. It's obvious I need to reconnect with this old friend, find out what's really eating her. We're not close these days -- I haven't seen her since moving to our current home more than five years ago -- for me to know if this is a cry for help or a cry for attention.

Next Day Flyers Giveaway Winner

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 14:19:00 +0000

The winner of the 100 design-them-yourself stickers from Next Day Flyers is...

#4 Platinum Rose

Congrats! Please email me by Wednesday, November 30th to claim your prize.

The Good Husband

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 15:04:00 +0000

I have a confession to make.

DH is a better husband than I am a wife.

I don't like to admit it, especially not out loud, but it's true.

DH is patient; he can listen to me drone on and on and on about the hemorrhoids that just haven't gone away since Baby C's birth and not even bat an eye. He's compassionate; he engages me in conversation about said hemorrhoids, nodding his head with sympathy and offering constructive advice when appropriate. And he's engaged; he's even offered to make a run to the drug store to buy me more Tucks pads.

But it doesn't stop there, although I wish it did.

My husband cooks all the meals in our house; yup, every last one. He often jokes that if cooking were left up to me, our family would subsist on simple pasta, pierogies and sandwiches. Instead, he delights our taste buds with teriyaki ginger pork tenderloin, chicken & dumplings and several varieties of the heartiest chili.

He does his own laundry too, and sometimes, he'll throw a load of my clothes in the wash with his. He's only destroyed one of my shirts in the past year -- a nautical-themed striped shirt I got at Banana Republic, back when I could afford to shop there -- when one of Baby C's red onesies accidentally got into the washing machine. He folds his laundry, too.

He changes diapers without complaint.

He spontaneously rubs my shoulders while I'm working on the computer.

He vacuums.

All of these wonderful personality traits and helpful chores make him pretty ideal... and therein lies the problem.

Because when your husband seems -- by all outward appearances -- to be fairly perfect, your friends don't let you complain about him. Instead, they try to defend him. For example, when I recently told my girlfriend about DH's penchant for completely messing up the kitchen while cooking, she retorted, "Yeah, but at least he cooks. My husband never..."

I guess beggars can't be choosers, but...

No husband can be perfect, can he?

Geez, I hope not.

Giveaway: Design Your Own Holiday Gift Tags

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 15:13:00 +0000

Even though I've pledged not to put up my holiday decorations or start listening to Christmas tunes on the radio until after Thanksgiving, that doesn't mean I can't be a good little elf and prepare for the holiday season now. After all, more preparation in November means a more laid back December... and a happier mommy!

That's why I'm so excited about the prize I'm giving away today: 100 stickers from Next Day Flyers. You can use the stickers -- which measure 2 x 3.5 inches -- for just about anything, but I've decided to use them as gift tags.

I created my stickers using the site's Online Design tool; it was really easy, and really fun -- I love letting my creative side (what little there is of it) show. My design resembles Santa's belt, which will be perfect for the holidays. I had a little trouble understanding some of the sticker printing terminology on the site, but thanks to Next Day Flyers' "Live Chat" feature, I was able to solve them quickly with the help of a customer service representative. The stickers just arrived yesterday, and look as charming in person as they did on my proof.

WIN IT!
ONE of my lucky readers will win:
100 2 x 3.5 inch stickers with 2-4 business day shipping-
a $35.95 value!

HOW TO ENTER:
This giveaway is only open to individuals who follow this blog on Google Friend Connect. To enter, just leave a comment telling me how you'd use the stickers if you won.

THE FINE PRINT:
One entry per person -- multiple entries and entries from individuals who do not follow this blog on Google Friend Connect will be deleted. This giveaway is open only to U.S. residents. The giveaway is open through Sunday, November 27th. One winner will be selected using a random number generator.

GOOD LUCK!
FCC DISCLAIMER: I was provided with 100 free stickers from Next Day Flyers for the purpose of this review. No other compensation was provided. The opinions expressed in this review are my own, and were not influenced by the sponsor company.

The Difference Between One And Two

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 14:43:00 +0000

Baby C celebrated his half-birthday earlier this month, and the milestone got me thinking about the differences in my life during his first six months compared to G's first six month. For example...

With G, I was telling people I "just" had a baby, even when G was 18 months old. With G, people have to remind ME I had a baby somewhat recently.

With G, I never washed her tiny little onesies in anything but Dreft. This time, Baby C is lucky if I even REMEMBER to put detergent in the washer.

With G, I was always careful to use the padded little grocery-cart-germ-protector thingy. This time, I just hope Baby C won't try to eat the cart while I make my mad dash through the supermarket aisles.

With G, naptime and bedtime were sacred, something not to be tampered with under any circumstances. With Baby C, I push his bedtime back by more than an hour every Wednesday night so I can selfishly attend my favorite yoga class at the Y.

With G, I took about a thousand pictures a month -- often ten shots of her in a single position with only slight differences in her appearance; I saved every last one. With Baby C, I've taken maybe a few hundred pictures since he came from the hospital.

With G, I bought every piece of clothing she wore -- new, of course -- and meticulously planned her adorable little outfits. This time, Baby C gets his clothes as hand-me-downs or consignment sale finds; he's lucky if they match.

With G, I felt like she was so grown up and accomplished when she learned to roll over, sit up, crawl. This time, I feel like Baby C is still so small, so young; maybe it's because I know how much more growing he has to do, whereas with G, everything was a new experience and I really didn't know what would come next.

With G, I felt unsure of myself and my abilities to be an adequate role model and mother. With Baby C, I am confident that I am fulfilling my motherly duties, even if that means the house doesn't get cleaned more than once a month and I consider Chef Boyardee to be a culinary genius.

What have you found to be the biggest difference in you and your life when you added another child to your family, whether it was adding your first or (like Michelle Duggar) your 20th?