Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom

Shhhhhhh!

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:45:00 +0000

I came down the stairs this morning to find the closet door, three cupboard doors, the bathroom door and the dishwasher door wide open.

No, we hadn't been robbed - everything was still where it had been the night before... including the dishes from my husband's late night snack (who apparently doesn't believe that all calories consumed after 10pm go straight to your inner thighs).

My husband gets up every morning at 4:30. On good days, he eats breakfast, gets dressed and heads to the gym to hit the treadmill before work. On bad days, he falls back to sleep on the couch, only to wake up at 6:45am to the sounds of me screaming that he's going to be late.

It's no secret that I think my husband is the loudest person in the world. Whenever he talks on the phone, he basically shouts into the handset. Even if his family didn't live a thousand miles away, I'm pretty sure they'd be able to hear him - without the phone.

Having a private conversation with the man is impossible, especially in crowded locations (the types of locations that are ideal for "people watching"). He simply doesn't know how to whisper.

And you can forget the idea of him sneaking up on anybody. He blames his flat feet for his inability to walk quietly, as every footfall causes the floorboards of our not-very-old house to creak.

But my husband has over-estimated the noise factor involved with just about every one of his morning tasks. He's convinced that closing a door makes enough noise to wake up the kids... so he doesn't close them. He's convinced running the sink to rinse out his breakfast dishes is so noisy that it'll make our dog start barking... so he leaves them in the sink for me to take care of. He's convinced that putting his electric razor back in the medicine cabinet will disturb me... so it remains on the bathroom counter.

While I appreciate the steps to take to ensure that the kids and I can continue sleeping long after he's gone, I don't appreciate having to spend the first five to ten minutes of my day cleaning up after him. It's at times like these when I do, indeed, feel like his mother instead of his wife.

The fact of the matter is, he has no concept of what makes noise and what doesn't. Closing doors? Cleaning dishes? Putting his razor away? They don't really make a lot of noise. Grinding up beans for his morning cup of coffee? Pressing the snooze button on his alarm twice? Forgetting to turn off the security alarm before walking out the door? These are the real sources of noise pollution in our house every morning!

Shabby Apple: Giveaway Winner!

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:40:00 +0000

The winner of the Shabby Apple giveaway is...

#18 - Melissa
Melissa, please email me no later than Wednesday, January 25th to claim your prize. If I haven't heard from Melissa by that deadline, I'll announce a new winner on the 26th.

Update: Winner confirmed via email on Tuesday, January 24th.

Big Fish, Little Pond

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:16:00 +0000

I'm not a big fan of cliches. For instance, I hate the phrase, "That's like the pot calling the kettle black." Um, first of all, pots can't talk; and furthermore, my pots are silver, not black, so it doesn't even make sense.

I've felt particular disdain for the cliched saying about being a big fish in a little pond. The main reason why I dislike it so much, however, is because - at least in my experience - it's true. Scathingly true. When I was in high school, I thought I was a big shot - I was near the top of my class, and I thought that made me a genius. Then I got to college - Duke - a land of true geniuses, and BAM! I went from being a big fish in the little pond that is high school to being a small fish, struggling to stay afloat in the massive ocean.

The same was true of my favorite extracurricular activity, swimming. I thought I was the shit in the water; after all, I had amassed enough gold medals and blue ribbons by the time I was 16 to start my own trophy supply shop. But every year, I was reminded of just how average I was when I went to the district championship meet. Each year, the same girl - who, in all fairness to myself, went on to win not on, not two, but FOUR Olympic medals - whupped my butt: whupped it hard.

So when I said goodbye to swimming, I didn't look back. I was happy to be done with it, to put it in my life's rearview mirror.

Until this past summer.

Thanks to the 50 pounds I'd gained during my pregnancy with baby C, I was looking for a low-impact way to burn a lot of calories. Since we were already spending a lot of time at our swim club, I started spending the hourly 10-minute "safety" breaks to swim laps. At first, I swam painstakingly slow, and the ten minutes just about did me in. But by the end of the summer, I was once again feeling the need - the need for speed (sorry, another cliche).

That's when I took my swimming talents to our local Y. I devoted one hour, one morning a week to lap swimming. And that's when I realized something:

At the Y, I was once again the big fish in a little pond.
Because of the day and time during which I chose to swim, I was surrounded not by high school athletes or even masters-level swimmers, but by little old ladies who were aqua-jogging; elderly men who swam fast and furious for four lengths of the pool before calling it a workout; stay-at-home parents, like myself, who were looking for a way to keep in shape that didn't involve an elliptical trainer or a treadmill.

Once they realized I planned to become a regular, they started commenting on my technique. "You must have been on the swim team," they'd say to me. When I'd confirm their suspicions, they'd go on to tell me that their son/niece/granddaughter was on the swim team now, and how much dedication it took. I'd nod in agreement; after all, I spent 3-4 hours a day with my head below the water's surface for most of my teen years.

Soon, I found myself handing out advice to my new workout partners. For example, just last week a woman who joined our ranks only a few weeks ago asked me how I got my stroke so even, as hers was a little lopsided. I urged her to invest in a pair of hand paddles, which would help her slow down her stroke and isolate her movements, eliminating the hitch. She thanked me profusely. When I saw her this morning in the pool, she waved enthusiastically - in her hand was a paddle.

Sure, sometimes I find myself getting competitive with my just-for-fun swimming friends. Sometimes, I try to see how quickly I can lap them, or see if I can keep up with their full stroke while I'm just kicking.

But overall, I'm happy where I'm at. I've found peace with my swimming ghosts.

And I'm darn happy to finally, finally be the big fish once more.

Why I'm Cheering Against Tim Tebow

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 14:48:00 +0000

These days, saying you're rooting against Tim Tebow is like saying you're rooting against God Himself.

It seems like just about everybody - casual and rabid sports fans alike - has jumped on the Tebow bandwagon. I think the only ones who haven't are those on the extreme political left (not me; I'm a moderate), atheists (not me, either; I'm a practicing Catholic) and Pittsburgh Steeler fans (my football loyalties lie in the Midwest).

Maybe my disdain for #15 stems from the fact that he plays for the Denver Broncos. After all, this week marked 25 years since John Elway - now the Broncos' general manager - led Denver 98 yards in the final five minutes to keep my hometown Cleveland Browns out of their first (and only) Super Bowl. Maybe it's because Tebow was instrumental in the University of Florida's upset of the Ohio State Buckeyes in the 2007 national championship game. Either of those would be solid enough reasons not to like the guy - but they'd be lies.

The fact of the matter is, I don't dislike Tebow; what I do dislike is the way fans laud and praise him.

Tebow claims to be a conservative Christian, and by all outward appearances, he seems to not only talk the talk but - more importantly - walk the walk as well. I applaud Tebow for living his faith out loud; it's something that I, as a Christian woman, struggle with from time to time. But I fear that for every casual fan he draws to the game of football, for every soul he either intentionally or unintentionally awakens to God's message with his ability to win a football game despite his inability to consistently throw an accurate pass, he's leading someone down a path of sin.

Yup, I said it - Tim Tebow is causing people to sin. Enter example number one, the first - and arguably, the most important - of the Ten Commandments:

"I am the LORD your God:
you shall not have
strange Gods before me."
Now, I'm not saying that Tebow is breaking this commandment. But can you say the same for the man wearing this jersey?

I can't tell you the number of times I've seen a person wearing a #15 jersey with the words "Messiah," "Jesus" or "Savior" on the back. I can't tell you the number of times I've seen status updates on Facebook urging me to "Praise God for Tim Tebow!" after another Broncos win.

Let's be serious, folks: God doesn't care about the outcome of a football game. And if he did, I daresay the New Orleans Saints would be on the fast track to the Super Bowl every single year.

The glory and honor that so many football fans - and so many others drawn to the celebrity of Tim Tebow - should go not to the man, but to the Lord who created him. And while I know that many Tebow fans are well aware of this division between the human and the divine, with every surprise win on the football field, I think many are losing sight of this crucial fact.

So when the Broncos take the field this weekend against the New England Patriots (note: my Cleveland ties make me predisposed to dislike Bill Belichick, too), I'll be - for the first time in my life - cheering on Tom Brady.

Woo hoo. Go Pats.

Back In The Hunt

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:45:00 +0000

***Just a reminder to be sure to enter my current giveaway for a great dress from Shabby Apple! Click here for details on how to enter.***
Should we, shouldn't we? Will we, won't we? DH and I have been arguing - with each other and even with nobody at all - for the past two years about this very issue. And now, we've finally made a decision.

We're moving.

Yup, the realtor will be over to our house in about 33 minutes from now (meaning I should probably get out of my pajamas) to discuss a listing price for our current home. We'll be looking at two "new to us" homes on the other side of town tomorrow afternoon. We've already spoken to the folks at the bank, and are just waiting on last year's tax forms to arrive in the mail in order to proceed with the mortgage preapproval process.

This is really happening, it seems.

And yet, in the dark of night, when nobody else is awake to hear me, I'm not so sure it's what I want. The fact is, I love our current home. Sure, I could use a fourth bedroom for my parents when they come to town, a dedicated office for my freelance work and a playroom to which I could just shut the door every night when the kids went to bed... but this was the first place DH and I bought as a couple. It's the house in which our children were conceived, to which we brought them home from the hospital. We've refinished floors, replaced countertops and even added an addition - we've made it our own. It's our home.

Furthermore, as much as I've talked about moving to the other side of town for the past several years, I've grown to like where we live just fine. Sure, I wish we were closer to some of the better schools in the district, but I love the preschool we've selected for G, the place where she takes dance classes, the local Y, our church... all things I know we'd have to give up by moving 25 miles west.

But moving to a bigger house, closer to better schools, with a bigger yard - this is what I've been dreaming about, right? This is what I want, right?

Right?

To tell you the truth, I'm not so sure. If you talked to me in person - and some of you have - you'd think I was gung-ho about this whole process, and in some ways, I am. But then I think about leaving this place, and I sober up a bit. I know it's always harder to say goodbye than it is to say hello - although I'm talking about a house here, not a person. I'm also notoriously anxious when it comes to change.

I've spent a lot of time asking God to guide us on this process. To let us know if we're making the right moves or not. Maybe I should do a little Tebowing as I attempt to hear His word; He certainly seems to be speaking to that Denver Broncos quarterback a lot these days (but that's another rant for another post). I just hope I won't be so busy repainting the kitchen and cleaning the showers in preparation for a showing to hear Him.

24 minutes until the realtor gets here... is it too late to change my mine?

Shabby Apple Dress Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:33:00 +0000

This giveaway is now CLOSED.
I've always been a rather girly-girl: I love wearing skirts and dresses. In my opinion, they're just as comfortable as a good pair of jeans. And when it to buying those skirts and dresses...

...Shabby Apple is one of my favorite stores!

Today, I've got a giveaway AND a special discount for you, courtesy of Shabby Apple. I've selected this women's dress, which one of my lucky readers will win:

It's the "Azure Coast" dress - as you can see, it's a wrap dress, a style I think flatters just about every body type. I also think this gorgeous blue color suits just about any skin tone or hair color. And while one size won't exactly fit all - Shabby Apple's dresses actually run large, meaning you'll get an ego boost when your dress size is a little smaller than usual - one style and color actually does fit all.

BUY IT!
The Azure Coast dress usually sells $82.00, but right now it's on sale for just $74! But wait, there's more! For the next 30 days, readers of my blog can get an additional 10% off their entire purchase just by entering this exclusive code, workingmom10off, at checkout.

WIN IT!
In addition to the 10% off coupon, one of my lucky readers will win the Azure Coast dress from Shabby Apple - a $74.00 value!

HOW TO ENTER:
Like Shabby Apple on Facebook, and leave a comment telling me you've done so. In addition to http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifgaining entry to this giveaway, liking Shabby Apple on Facebook will give you access to exclusive discounts and promotions. This entry method is mandatory - meaning if you don't complete this, your entry won't count!

You can also earn an additional entry by following me on Google Friend Connect - just leave me an additional comment to let me know you follow my blog.

THE FINE PRINT:
No more than two entries per person; mandatory entry method must be completed or subsequent entries will be deleted. Giveaway open to U.S. residents only. Entries will be taken through Sunday, January 21st; a winner will be selected using a random number generator and will be announced on Monday, January 22nd.

GOOD LUCK!
FCC DISCLAIMER: I was not compensated in any way for this giveaway. The opinions expressed in this review are my own, and were not influenced by the sponsor company.

And Now For Some Resolutions...

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 15:27:00 +0000

I once defiantly proclaimed that I disliked New Year's resolutions; I found them to be cheesy and flighty. I found myself unmotivated to keep up with them much past mid-February. So, I made the same two resolutions every January - to lose weight and learn to relax - and found myself an out-of-shape basketcase by the time March blew in like a lion. What do they say again about history repeating itself?

But this year, I'm going to make resolutions that focus more on personal growth - learning from the lessons 2011 taught me - instead of changing who I am or what I look like.

In no particular order, I hope to:

Teach my children - through example - about the importance of community service. When I was in high school and college, this was an intrinsic part of my life; rarely a week or two went by when I wasn't engaged in helping others in some way. Since becoming an "adult," I've started to help my community by using my treasure (aka money) instead of my time or talents. This year, I'd like to donate more of my time to the organizations and causes that are so important to me.
Find a passion. Over the years, I've had a lot of them - swimming, dancing, reading, writing, just to name a few. I'd say I'm passionate about exercising, but that's like saying you're passionate about cleaning toilets. Really? Really? No one is passionate about something that mundane, no matter how much you might like to think you are. I'd love to take up piano again, but not only do we not have a piano in our home, we don't have the space or the money for one. Hmmm...
Deepen my friendships. In the years previous, I'd been accused of preferring a large quantity of friends above having quality friends; in 2011, I realized that - in many ways - that accusation was very much true. I learned who my deepest, dearest, can't-live-without-you friends really were (and who they weren't) and learned that a small circle of best buddies is better than a large gathering of people who are friends in name only.
Spend less time online. Yeah, I know, this isn't really a "personal growth" type of goal on the surface - it's much more about changing my woebegone ways. But if you look a little deeper, it really is about growing as a person. That's because the Internet (did you know the "I" in Internet should always be upper case? It's true!) takes up way too much of my time: time that would be better spend with my children, husband and friends. I feel like if I could separate myself from my gadgets more often, I'd have more time for things... things like personal growth!

So what are your goals, resolutions, aspirations for 2012?

What I Learned About Myself This Year

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 14:54:00 +0000

Just about a year ago, I made a resolution to do three things in 2011:

Resolution #1: Wash my face twice daily
Result: Epic fail. I had a baby, I barely had time to wash my face once a week for a while there

Resolution #2: Be more accountable with our money
Result: Depends on who you ask. If you ask me, we did a great job of this. If you ask my husband, he'll tell you I'm right up there with Ebeneezer Scrooge when it comes to managing finances.

Resolution #3: Cook more
Result: I cooked one chicken breast this year... and that happened last week.

Turns out, 2011 was about much more than getting our financial ducks in a row or failing to enhance my (lack of) culinary skills. 2011 was a pretty transcendental year for me.

Over the past 12 months, I've learned to let things go. To give things up. Old grudges, my fear of failure, my perfectionism: they're all gone (well, mostly gone).

I learned that I don't have to try so hard to make people like me. I think this is less a lesson I learned and more a result of growing older. As I approach 30, I realize that, first of all, it doesn't matter if everyone likes me or not, and secondly, I decided that I didn't care. Because of that, I was more willing to help strangers without expecting anything out of it, to strike up a conversation with the woman on the treadmill next to me at the gym, to leave a funny comment on an old acquaintance's Facebook page.

I realized this year that I don't have to always be in control. I learned that some of life's most beautiful moments -- and in some cases, life itself -- happens when you least expect it, even when you least want it. I found that having faith is far more important than having power.

I learned that I don't always have to be right -- and more importantly, that I don't always have to fight to prove it. I learned that sometimes, most of the time, actually, it's ok not to have the last word.

I learned not to be so hard on myself. I had been pushing and pushing and pushing myself toward some unattainable level of perfection, trying to be a person and make the kind of decisions that didn't really fit who I was or where I was in life. I was trying to be something I wasn't -- something I didn't want to be -- and wasn't giving myself the benefit of the doubt. I learned to give others the benefit of the doubt as well.

But most importantly, I learned to like myself this year. It sounds simple, maybe too simple, but it's a lesson 29 -- almost 30 -- years in the making.

Christmas Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 14:51:00 +0000

I'm going to take a little hiatus during this busy holiday season, as I try to keep a tenuous grip on what right now seems like a pretty perfect life. I'm not going to worry myself silly about coming up with fresh material for my blog. I'm going to hold on to the amazingly mundane, amazingly beautiful parts of my life: my children, my husband, my friends.

I hope you'll hold on while I take this brief pause!

HowTo Occupy Your Kids Over Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 14:47:00 +0000

The Christmas holidays are probably the most interesting holidays for everyone. This is the best time for family gatherings. This is also the time that the characters of your children might be easily destroyed as this is the time most parents forget to be as strict as they should. The children should therefore be engaged in several duties over the holidays.

You can divide your child’s day into three sections. The child should be occupied with small chores for the first part of the day. This is to teach that people have to work even as they celebrate, as there is always something to be done. As much as they might not like this, make them understand that it is part of human nature to work. If the children are older, you can have them do the extra special chores for some money. This will help them learn about responsibility and the value of money. Younger children can be promised a present from Father Christmas if they work.

There is school after the Christmas celebrations. Have your child do some preschool activities. This does not have to be extensive reading. They can read interesting story books or play with educational toys like the alphabet blocks.

Have your kids spend part of their day outside, if the weather permits. This helps them to relax and learn other things outside school work. However, ensure that they are under constant observation. You should also ensure that you do not overcrowd their space with your presence as they will feel uncomfortable. Take your children to a nearby park. They will be able to appreciate nature more. Take them for swimming and other fun activities.

A lot of companies have fun days over the Christmas holidays, attend your company’s Christmas party with your children to help them interact with other children and also know where you work better.

Take your kids to visit their grandparents. This is far from the city where they get to appreciate life more. Their grandparents will tell them several interesting life stories that will enlighten them more. Since most family members are home at the same time during this period, schedule about one hour a day where you can share and have fun with your children. This will work by helping you bond as a family. The kids are also going to appreciate the family more.

Help your kids explore their talents. Encourage them to listen to good music, watch interesting movies and dance. Your kids will end up believing in themselves hence making them more confident. Lastly, give them time to be alone and be creative. You can lead them to fantasy play where they create an imagination out of what they see.

The Dirty Alphabet

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 16:30:00 +0000

Please don't call child services on me!

I've been working with G on her phonemes (the sound -- or in the case of A, C, E, G, I, O, U and Y, the sounds -- each letter makes) for a while now, and the concept is really starting to sink in... except...

She isn't really drawing age-appropriate correlations between these letters, their sounds and the words in which they're used.

For example, in the past two weeks, G has told me:

B is for beer. (What, not baby? Ball?)

L is for liquor. (Seriously? The last time I drank hard liquor was... was... see, that's how uncool I am, I can't even remember the last time I took a shot -- and I'm sure my sensitive stomach thanks me for it.)

W is for wine. (Additionally, when she plays with her "Little People," her "mommy" doll is frequently heard telling her "daddy" doll that she needs a glass of wine after the baby doll goes to bed. Am I really that bad?)

Next week, we'll be working on the letters C (for cosmopolitan) and M (for martini).

This post was sponsored by the letter D, for drunkard, which -- despite the evidence to the contrary -- I am not.

Cheap Insurance for Moms

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 16:10:00 +0000

Women are one of the most under-insured demographics in all areas. It may be because some women are single or stay at home moms and don't feel they need life insurance. For single moms, money is usually tight and insurance is seen as a luxury that usually doesn't fit in the budget. Cheap home insurance is available for anyone willing to get a cheap insurance quote and take measures to get discounts in order to lower already cheap rates.

Renters and homeowners both need adequate insurance so that, in the event of a fire or accident, they don't incur extra expenses aside from their deductible. The stress of dealing with any situation where an insurance claim needs to be made is bad enough, there's no need to add to the troubles financially. Plus it's usually required by law, so to be without it will cause more financial strain. Get a quote for cheap home insurance and you'll find that, paired with discounts, it's more affordable than you might think. Car insurance is similar and it's required in most states in order to legally drive.

After getting a cheap home insurance quote, see if you qualify for discounts such as living in a safe neighborhood, having a higher deductible, and installing safety devices to prevent break in or injuries. For car insurance you might qualify for discounts if you are a member of the military, have a good driving record, keep a high deductible, install anti-theft devices and drive a reliable vehicle.
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Life insurance, unlike auto and home insurance, isn't required at all and therefore many women have too little or no coverage. Only single women without dependents might consider not being insured; but for those with partners and children, insurance should not be considered optional. Single moms will need someone to provide for and look after their kids in the event of death; while family might take in the kids, it's not cheap to add a few more members to a household without additional money. Stay at home moms need policies because they provide considerable economic value to the home. Wage earning moms, even if their earn much less than their partner, depend on their income in some way and thus it will need to be replaced should she pass on.

Moms should have 8-10 times the amount of their annual income in life insurance. However, if you have young kids at home you might consider upwards of twenty times your income. For stay at home moms $500,000 is a reasonable amount of insurance to buy. The best way to keep premiums low is to be a non-smoker, not drink and maintain a healthy weight.

Getting all of insurance policies from the same company can also result in a discount since you'll be considered a valued customer. Try paying for your premiums just once a year to reduce time and cost for both you and the insurance company. Most give discounts if you pay semi-annually or annually instead of monthly.

Don't delay getting a cheap insurance quote in any area in which you need to be insured. The stability of your family and the strain on your bank account in an emergency depend on being properly insured. Make it a priority to get insured immediately.

Does It Really Get Any Better?

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:45:00 +0000

I have a friend who just started back to work this week after giving birth to her first child. All week, she's been glum over the realization that her schedule only gives her about an hour and a half daily with her son. She's been asking her mom friends whether or not it gets better, begging us to tell her it will.

So I don't think she was really thrilled with my answer...

It won't.

I know, that's soooo pessimistic. But I've been there. I've done that. I wrote the book (actually, just a blog) about it.

For the first 25 months of G's life, I was a working mom -- hence the original title of this blog. When I first went back to work after my maternity leave, it was painful. I spent roughly 8 hours and 47 minutes of my 9-hour workday pining for her, longing to see her smiley face instead of my boss's dour expression.

I cried when I missed her roll over for the first time.

I threw a minor tantrum when I missed her first word, which was not "Mama."

I had a hissy fit when I missed her first feeble attempts at crawling.

And it only got worse from there. Over those two years, I missed more memories -- not just the coveted "firsts," but subtle, run-of-the-mill milestones I'll never get back -- than I care to count. I did the math, and realized my daughter saw her daddy and her nanny more than she saw me during any given week. It broke my heart.

As G got older, I realized I'd soon be missing out on even more. Working would keep me from helping out in her preschool as a room mom. It would keep me from being able to take her to -- and watch her at -- dance class. It would deprive me of the time to swim with her on a lazy Tuesday afternoon at the local Y. And as I looked down the road, I saw my work interfering with volleyball games as a teenager, sending her off on her first date, teaching her to drive a car.

I've always said on this blog that I admire those working moms who love their jobs so much that spending 40, 50 even 60 hours a week away from their children is worth it; I wasn't that lucky, and I have no shame in admitting that I was supremely jealous of the moms who felt that kind of passion toward their career.

But I don't think even the most seasoned working mom will tell you that she'd rather choose an 8am board meeting or a 7pm "working dinner" over spending time with her children.

So, does it ever get any easier? In my experience, no. It never did. I felt a pang every day when I left my daughter behind in the care of a nanny. I felt a sense of longing every day when I stared at her picture at my work desk. And I felt a rush of exuberant joy every evening when I returned home to her.

But I got used to it. I adjusted. I compensated. And I got through it. And my friend will too.

The Truth About My Son

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 14:52:00 +0000

I've been in denial about this for a long time. I've made excuses, beaten around the bush, come up with every possible explanation. But last night, I finally came to grips with the painful truth:

I have a fussy son.

This was not an admission I take lightly. I love my so fiercely, protectively, overwhelmingly; and when you tell someone that you have a "fussy" child, they often automatically assume that child is a trouble-maker, or somehow inherently bad. (Well, you know what they say about people who assume...)

Baby C isn't a bad kid; he isn't a problem child, or the devil incarnate, as my mom's pedicure-ist (is that a word?) recently described her own infant daughter. He's a sweet baby, easy with his smiles and infectious with his laugh... as long as you're doing what he wants, when he wants it.

Take, for example, the last 24 hours. DH worked all weekend (and by "all," I mean 13 hour shifts for three straight days; he hasn't seen either child -- at least while they were awake -- since Thursday), so I was the sole caregiver. G was fine; the older she gets, the more helpful she becomes -- with a few exceptions, of course. But Baby C: well, he was another story.

On Sunday, Baby C decided he didn't want to be put down... at all. After waking up at the painfully early hour of 6am, he literally cried every single time I put him down -- for a nap, in his high chair for a meal, in his Johnny Jumper, in his exersaucer, on the ground next to his sister. The only time he stopped crying was when I picked him up; so I held him -- with five minute breaks here and there to go to the bathroom -- from basically 6am until 7pm, when, exhausted from his day-long campaign against... well, I'm not sure what he was fighting against... he fell asleep in my arms.

C's clinginess, however, is just the beginning. He also refuses to eat any baby food that comes from a jar, tub or bottle. That means he'll only nurse, and will only eat the fruits and veggies that I make (with the sole exception of Gerber Puffs; thank goodness for those!).

Oh, and did I mention he breaks out in a rash whenever he even looks at a disposable diaper? So much for the two packages of Target-brand diapers I have in his closet, "just in case" we have a cloth diaper accident while on the go.

I'm actually hoping that by admitting to Baby C's fussiness, the universe will take pity on us both and teach him some calming tactics (and me some coping tactics)... which I'm hoping you can do for me as well! Do you have any tips for dealing with a demanding baby?

A Cry For Help

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:27:00 +0000

She's one of the most beautiful, talented, charismatic women that I know... but you wouldn't know it by her Facebook page.

Her Facebook status updates constantly seem to question her very worth. Things like, "I'm the least exciting person I know," and "Why doesn't anybody trust me?" permeate her page. They're said with a smile -- well, at least a :) -- and are always refuted by her legion of Facebook friends.

At first, I was always quick to chime in my two cents as well, reminding her of all the wonderful people, things and personal attributes for which she has to be thankful.

Then I stopped, for a couple of reasons.

First, if she really does believe these things, then a simple reassurance on a social networking site won't be enough to change her mind. And if she's just saying them as a ploy for public adoration, then I don't really want to be a part of the ego-feeding.

I read a news story the other day about how few people actually use their cell phones and smartphones to make calls; we've become a culture that keeps in touch via text messages and tries to connect on the web. But stuff like this remind me that you can't judge a person by her Facebook status; you can't evaluate situations based on a Tweet. It's obvious I need to reconnect with this old friend, find out what's really eating her. We're not close these days -- I haven't seen her since moving to our current home more than five years ago -- for me to know if this is a cry for help or a cry for attention.

Next Day Flyers Giveaway Winner

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 14:19:00 +0000

The winner of the 100 design-them-yourself stickers from Next Day Flyers is...

#4 Platinum Rose

Congrats! Please email me by Wednesday, November 30th to claim your prize.

The Good Husband

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 15:04:00 +0000

I have a confession to make.

DH is a better husband than I am a wife.

I don't like to admit it, especially not out loud, but it's true.

DH is patient; he can listen to me drone on and on and on about the hemorrhoids that just haven't gone away since Baby C's birth and not even bat an eye. He's compassionate; he engages me in conversation about said hemorrhoids, nodding his head with sympathy and offering constructive advice when appropriate. And he's engaged; he's even offered to make a run to the drug store to buy me more Tucks pads.

But it doesn't stop there, although I wish it did.

My husband cooks all the meals in our house; yup, every last one. He often jokes that if cooking were left up to me, our family would subsist on simple pasta, pierogies and sandwiches. Instead, he delights our taste buds with teriyaki ginger pork tenderloin, chicken & dumplings and several varieties of the heartiest chili.

He does his own laundry too, and sometimes, he'll throw a load of my clothes in the wash with his. He's only destroyed one of my shirts in the past year -- a nautical-themed striped shirt I got at Banana Republic, back when I could afford to shop there -- when one of Baby C's red onesies accidentally got into the washing machine. He folds his laundry, too.

He changes diapers without complaint.

He spontaneously rubs my shoulders while I'm working on the computer.

He vacuums.

All of these wonderful personality traits and helpful chores make him pretty ideal... and therein lies the problem.

Because when your husband seems -- by all outward appearances -- to be fairly perfect, your friends don't let you complain about him. Instead, they try to defend him. For example, when I recently told my girlfriend about DH's penchant for completely messing up the kitchen while cooking, she retorted, "Yeah, but at least he cooks. My husband never..."

I guess beggars can't be choosers, but...

No husband can be perfect, can he?

Geez, I hope not.

Giveaway: Design Your Own Holiday Gift Tags

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 15:13:00 +0000

Even though I've pledged not to put up my holiday decorations or start listening to Christmas tunes on the radio until after Thanksgiving, that doesn't mean I can't be a good little elf and prepare for the holiday season now. After all, more preparation in November means a more laid back December... and a happier mommy!

That's why I'm so excited about the prize I'm giving away today: 100 stickers from Next Day Flyers. You can use the stickers -- which measure 2 x 3.5 inches -- for just about anything, but I've decided to use them as gift tags.

I created my stickers using the site's Online Design tool; it was really easy, and really fun -- I love letting my creative side (what little there is of it) show. My design resembles Santa's belt, which will be perfect for the holidays. I had a little trouble understanding some of the sticker printing terminology on the site, but thanks to Next Day Flyers' "Live Chat" feature, I was able to solve them quickly with the help of a customer service representative. The stickers just arrived yesterday, and look as charming in person as they did on my proof.

WIN IT!
ONE of my lucky readers will win:
100 2 x 3.5 inch stickers with 2-4 business day shipping-
a $35.95 value!

HOW TO ENTER:
This giveaway is only open to individuals who follow this blog on Google Friend Connect. To enter, just leave a comment telling me how you'd use the stickers if you won.

THE FINE PRINT:
One entry per person -- multiple entries and entries from individuals who do not follow this blog on Google Friend Connect will be deleted. This giveaway is open only to U.S. residents. The giveaway is open through Sunday, November 27th. One winner will be selected using a random number generator.

GOOD LUCK!
FCC DISCLAIMER: I was provided with 100 free stickers from Next Day Flyers for the purpose of this review. No other compensation was provided. The opinions expressed in this review are my own, and were not influenced by the sponsor company.

The Difference Between One And Two

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 14:43:00 +0000

Baby C celebrated his half-birthday earlier this month, and the milestone got me thinking about the differences in my life during his first six months compared to G's first six month. For example...

With G, I was telling people I "just" had a baby, even when G was 18 months old. With G, people have to remind ME I had a baby somewhat recently.

With G, I never washed her tiny little onesies in anything but Dreft. This time, Baby C is lucky if I even REMEMBER to put detergent in the washer.

With G, I was always careful to use the padded little grocery-cart-germ-protector thingy. This time, I just hope Baby C won't try to eat the cart while I make my mad dash through the supermarket aisles.

With G, naptime and bedtime were sacred, something not to be tampered with under any circumstances. With Baby C, I push his bedtime back by more than an hour every Wednesday night so I can selfishly attend my favorite yoga class at the Y.

With G, I took about a thousand pictures a month -- often ten shots of her in a single position with only slight differences in her appearance; I saved every last one. With Baby C, I've taken maybe a few hundred pictures since he came from the hospital.

With G, I bought every piece of clothing she wore -- new, of course -- and meticulously planned her adorable little outfits. This time, Baby C gets his clothes as hand-me-downs or consignment sale finds; he's lucky if they match.

With G, I felt like she was so grown up and accomplished when she learned to roll over, sit up, crawl. This time, I feel like Baby C is still so small, so young; maybe it's because I know how much more growing he has to do, whereas with G, everything was a new experience and I really didn't know what would come next.

With G, I felt unsure of myself and my abilities to be an adequate role model and mother. With Baby C, I am confident that I am fulfilling my motherly duties, even if that means the house doesn't get cleaned more than once a month and I consider Chef Boyardee to be a culinary genius.

What have you found to be the biggest difference in you and your life when you added another child to your family, whether it was adding your first or (like Michelle Duggar) your 20th?

New Winner Chosen for Shutterfly Giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 21:33:00 +0000

Miss C, one of the three winners of my Shutterfly holiday card giveaway didn't respond by my Wednesday deadline to claim her prize, so I am going to pass it along to another one of the entries. Random.org has decided that...

#11 All Americanx5 is the new winner!
Once again, you have three days (til Sunday) to contact me to claim your prize, otherwise yet another one of you will have a chance at it... again!

Shedding Responsibilities

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 14:39:00 +0000

I've been working on a skill I think all women need to have in their arsenal. It isn't how to cook the perfect Thanksgiving turkey, or throw the ultimate 3rd birthday party for your son, or clean the house so well it doesn't look like anyone lives there.

It's learning how to say no.

This has been a tough skill for me, particularly since I left my formal job over a year ago. When I left the 9-5 rat race, I assumed I'd gained 40 free hours in my week, and tried to find worthwhile outlets for those 40 hours.

I became the secretary for my local swim club.

I joined the board of directors for our local chapter of the Ronald McDonald House.

I was voted into the position of president of our homeowners' association.

I signed up to be the room mom at G's preschool.

But the great misnomer about being a stay-at-home -- or in my case, a work-at-home -- mom is that you have great gobs of time on your hands to do anything and everything. A woman who is at home during the day is expected to cook, clean, tend to the children, and on some days, meet her husband by the door after a long day's work holding a beer and his slippers and wearing nothing but a frilly apron.

I quickly learned that leaving my 40-hour-a-week job had not netted me 40 hours of free time. In fact, between caring for my children (which, I'm pretty sure, is a 180-hour-a-week job) and my home, taking on additional freelance work, and occasionally talking to my husband, mother and other family and friends, I quickly realized that I probably had more time -- or at least, better-structured time -- when I was working full-time.

It took me a year, but I finally realized I would have to shed some of the responsibilities I'd naively taken on in the weeks and months after I left my career.

I didn't want to stop volunteering at G's school; I felt it was an important way of showing -- rather than telling -- her that her education matters. Likewise, I didn't want to drop the commitment I'd made to the Ronald McDonald House, as I also felt it was important to show my kids that every person needs to help out in their community.

I literally couldn't afford to cut back on my freelance job -- it helps pay the bills -- nor could I resign as secretary of our pool; that position helps to subsidize our annual membership, which is a luxury I wouldn't want to live without (it might be one of the few luxuries we allow ourselves these days).

Ultimately, I decided to resign as president of our HOA. I chose this option for a variety of reasons, such as my hatred of confrontation and my innate belief that it should not be up to the HOA president -- or any HOA board members, for that matter -- to police the neighborhood like the Libyan police under Gaddafi.

I tendered my resignation last night and it felt gooooooood.

So now I have given myself back an hour or two every week; not much, but enough to make a difference in my life. Of course, I'll probably use that time to catch up on all the episodes of "Glee" and "Modern Family" I've missed this fall, but you know what? It's my time, and -- I've finally learned -- I can do with it what I want!

Three Shutterfly Winners!

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 23:14:00 +0000

The winners of the 25 free holiday photo cards from Shutterfly are...

#8 Michelle P. from 'Making Sense of Cents'

#9 Miss C

#6 The Riggs Family from 'Growing Up Riggs'
Congrats to all of you! Please email me no later than Wednesday, November 9th to claim your prize. If I fail to hear from one of you by the end of Wednesday, I will draw another winner!

Low Entry Giveaway: 25 Shutterfly Holiday Cards

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 20:14:00 +0000

Going into the weekend, I've got just seven entries for the 25 free holiday photo cards from Shutterfly. I get to pick THREE winners when I close the giveaway ohttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifn Sunday, November 6th, so head over to THIS POST to enter. All you have to do is follow this blog and tell me which of Shutterfly's cards you'd choose if you won!

Is It Too Early For Christmas?

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:29:00 +0000

If you'd have asked me this a few years ago -- before I had kids -- I would have told you it's never too early to start celebrating and preparing for Christmas. I was all for decking the halls instead of carving pumpkins, and had no problem listening to holiday music in October. But these days? Well, not so much.

Part of it is that with children, each holiday is special. Halloween means a preschool costume parade and playing pin-the-toilet-paper-on-the-mummy; it means trick-or-treating with friends and lots of candy (which I'll ultimately steal from her snack bag!). Then there's Thanksgiving and all the yummy food and football, time spent with family and friends who feel like family.

Skipping right from the tail-end of summer to Christmas also means bypassing fall. I'd never get to enjoy the smell of crisp autumn air, or watch G jump into piles of leaves quicker than her daddy and I can rake them. It would mean missing out on hot apple cider and cool nights perfect for roasting marshmallows by our backyard fire pit.

If I started busting out the wrapping paper on November first, I'd have to put up with G asking me how much longer til she gets to open those gifts for almost two months. If I started humming Jingle Bells before Thanksgiving, I'd never get to teach my children my family's favorite song about turkeys (yes, my family does have a favorite song about turkeys! We also like to sing a song about the Titanic, don't ask me why).

If we took G and C to the mall to see Santa in mid-November, it wouldn't be as special when he arrived in Herald Square at the very end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

So, while I might not be able to avoid preparing for Christmas this time of year (and that includes getting my holiday cards finished -- so don't forget to enter my giveaway for a set of 25 free photo cards compliments of Shutterfly!!!), I won't start celebrating it until after Thanksgiving.

What about you?

I Won't Do That

noreply@blogger.com (Confessions From A Work-At-Home Mom) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 13:45:00 +0000

I spent two hours last night pouring over one of the saddest blogs I've ever visited. When I was finished, I had a pounding headache from the seemingly endless tears I cried reading this family's heartbreaking story of losing their eight-month-old son to a brain tumor.

This morning at the gym, I picked up an old issue of Ladies' Home Journal to find an article about a mother who'd lost her three young daughters in what was then a nationally-publicized wrong-way vehicle crash.

I read the first three paragraphs of this article before emphatically closing the magazine and letting it drop to the floor beneath my elliptical trainer.

I just couldn't read another word.

The internet -- whether through blogs or news stories -- is full of sad stories. Heartwrenching stories. Terrible tragedies that make you realize how lucky you are to have two healthy kids.

But these stories tend to have a deeper affect on me. When I read about the baby boy with the tumor, it made me scared to death that my son would experience the same fate. When G was little, I read a blog about an 11-month-old boy named Sage who had died from SIDS; it gave me anxiety every night as I laid G down to sleep until she reached a full year old. When I read magazine articles about a family losing all their children in one horrible accident, it makes me want to hunker down in our home and keep the car permanently in park.

I've said on this blog that you have a choice -- to read or not to read. Funny, but I never realized that I have a choice as well. In the past, I've chosen to read these stories and, in the process, internalize them to some degree.

This makes me sad.

This makes me fearful.

This makes me paranoid.

And while, yes, it also makes me hug my children a little more tightly and realize how lucky we are, the negative emotions associated with reading these devastatingly sad stories far outweigh any positives.

So, I'm making a choice. I won't be reading these stories anymore. Not to say they don't have a place on the web, or on the news, or in my favorite magazine; they are an important part of the human record. But they are not for me... not until I can learn not to process them so deeply, to a point where they own my feelings.