However, the accompanying video of the little girl enamored with her babyccino, complete with rainbow sprinkles did make me smile. It was cute. And, being a bona fide devotee to my daily brew, any cynicism or eye-rolling was quickly squashed by my secret wish that our local Starbucks might soon serve up these delightful, decaf, tot-inspired concoctions.

Afterall, my children could recognize a certain coffeehouse logo well before they could speak. They know Mama’s favorite drink is without a doubt, coffee; and they know very well that hardly anything comes before my morning cup of Joe.

So, is it really such a stretch that our cultural addiction to the bean would naturally extend to our children? Is there any harm in starting them young?

Here is, of course, where the pediatrician in me pipes up with the concern about caffeine in kids. Even though those babyccinos were made with decaf espresso; knowing where caffeine lurks and being mindful of our children’s consumption of it is important. (Side note: Just be aware, decaf does not mean caffeine-free. There is still some amount of caffeine in decaf beverages.)

A study in the December 2010 Journal of Pediatrics, revealed that 75% of children were consuming a significant amount of caffeine on a daily basis. What we know is that caffeine is a stimulant. So the effects that we get from it (hello world, I’m awake!) are multiplied in children. They are much more sensitive to its effects. My kids are already at full throttle once they bounce out of bed. Caffeine? For me? A necessity. For them? No way!!

Often, children who consume caffeine on a daily basis will have some difficulty sleeping. Who needs that? Furthermore, we know that children often get their caffeine from sodas or other sweetened energy drinks. Not only do they not “need” that caffeine, they don’t need those empty calories either. This can cause excess weight gain and displace other healthy food options that children do need to meet their daily mineral and vitamin requirements.

Headaches, upset stomachs, and feeling nervous and/or jittery are other untoward effects in children.

While we’re discussing the potentially negative consequences of caffeine in children (and it really pains me, as a coffee lover to say anything negative about caffeine), it’s also important to know what caffeine does not to do children. Contrary to popular belief, caffeine does not stunt your child’s growth. I know, I know…I want to be able to use that on my kids too. It also, has not been proven to lead to bedwetting.

What it comes down to is moderation. Know what beverages your child is consuming and how much. Aim for mostly water throughout the day, limit juice to no more than 6 ounces per day, and make sure any soda consumption is given as a special treat and not kept in the house. Know that an occasional hot cocoa or chocolate milk treat will not harm your child as far as caffeine is concerned. Click here to check out the caffeine content in some commonly consumed beverages.

So back to those babyccinos. While we may bask in the adorableness of our mini-mes mimicking us, I’m thinking they’ll have plenty of time to adopt their own caffeine habit. You know, when they’re adults and can’t blame us for their caffeine addiction. Save that macchiato for Mama, baby.

Of course, I just might be singing a different tune should we ever find ourselves in one of those trendy Brooklyn cafes…when in Rome, right?

Mommy, how do you spell book?

Okay, b, I got b. Okay o, I got o….she continues until her sentence is complete.

Hey mom, I can spell…m-y, and oh yeah, t-h-e.

Wait, wait…here’s our family. I can spell all of our names.

And mom? Can I go to school every day?

This from a little girl who clung to me at preschool drop off just a short 6 months ago.

It’s amazing to see how’s she’s grown…physically, emotionally, and cognitively since then.

Still, I’ve been torn about kindergarten. My late September birthday girl is incredibly close to that cut-off date that inches closer to September 1st with each passing year. This year? She makes the cutoff and could technically go.

Technically.

And is she ready? Absolutely.

Still, that nagging feeling. It won’t let me sign those kindergarten papers. It prevented me from waking up at 4:30 am to register her and get that coveted morning slot.

I watched her in dance class today. She’s long, lean, and strong. She loves to dance, she loves to make crafts, and as of late…she loves to write and spell.

Of course I worry I’m doing it all wrong. Just let her go. I hear a tiny voice nag at me. Or, it could be my husband whispering in my ear.

But then…I don’t. I can’t.

It doesn’t feel right.

In spite of her tallness, her readiness…her eagerness.

Something is tugging at my heart, gently asking me to be patient. To be still. To listen. To trust.

My instinct I guess.

I’ve been waiting for it to kick in ever since I wrote about this dilemma back in October.

So here it is and this is what we do as mothers right?

We trust it. In spite of the should dos. In spite of the doubt. In spite of the fear.

So, this is what I will do. I will trust. Because even in the face of uncertainty, above the objections, and amid the outside chatter…all I have is this…what makes complete sense to my heart.

My heart.

Why is it so hard for us to trust our instincts sometimes? Are you (or did you) grapple with when to send your child to kindergarten?

Baby is gassy and fussy. Mom is worried. Not sleeping well.

When I walked into the room, I saw a visibly tired young mother. Adorable babe nursing happily. Mom was near tears as she started to speak.

Apparently, for the last week, her 1 month old had taken to crying jags. These were described as him being in “pain” with red, crying face and all. He was consolable but the crying had increased in frequency and she was really worried that he was in actual pain.

He was otherwise breastfeeding well, seemed content when not involved in a crying episode, slept well, and was gaining good weight.

I wanted to reach out and give her a hug. New motherhood is hard enough, but now? It seems her adorable baby may be going through some colic. And, if any of you have experienced a colicky baby…you know the helplessness, the worry, the loss of sleep… and the heartbreak of hearing your baby cry so much.

What is colic?

We know that all newborns cry. It’s how they communicate with us. However, in up to 40% of babies, crying can escalate to random bouts of intense crying associated with extending/drawing up legs, facial grimaces, and sometimes the passing of gas. So, they do look like they’re in pain and it’s very concerning for parents. Parents often associate these crying jags as pain due to excess gas.

And, while the true definition of colic is defined by crying for more than 3 hours per day, for more than 3 days per week, for at least 3 weeks…we know that colicky babies run the spectrum. We don’t need these little “fussy” and “gassy” babies brought in by moms on the verge of tears to fit this exact definition to know a colicky baby when we see and hear one.

We also know that these periods of crying typically start between the 3rd-6th week of life and disappear by 3 months of age. So, yes…this too shall pass…but I know, this is not particularly helpful to sleep deprived parents in the throes of colic.

So, what causes colic?

In short, there’s no exact cause known. But, we have a pretty good idea of strong associations that may contribute to colic in babies.

• Gas? Parents are almost certain of the role of gas as it relates to their baby’s crying. However, while it’s true that colicky babies pass a lot of gas; what is unclear is if colicky babies have more swallowed air from crying and thus pas more gas. So although they occur together, gas is not the only culprit here.
• The 4th trimester. Think of your baby’s first 3 months of life as her 4th trimester. Only this time, she’s not in the snug and protected confines of your womb. Immature nervous and digestive systems certainly play a role here. Your baby is sensitive to all the new sights and sounds and her tummy is sensitive as well…adjusting to the whole digestive process.
• Food sensitivities. So, on that note, your newborn may have some food sensitivities causing abdominal discomfort. The most common “fuss” foods? Dairy, soy, caffeine, and wheat. These are foods breastfed babies my be exposed to; and for formula fed babies, the milk protein.
• Temperament. Your baby’s temperament plays a role in everything he does/likes/dislikes, and how he responds to certain physical and emotional challenges. Colic is no different. Some babies are simply more prone to colic than others.
• Reflux. Most babies will have some degree of reflux. However, if more severe, this reflux can cause pain and excessive spit up. This can certainly lead to symptoms of colic with that grimaced face cry. (More on reflux and babies in a future post)

How can I treat my baby’s colic?

If you think your baby may have colic or you’re unsure, the first thing to do is have him checked out by his pediatrician. That way, his doctor can determine which (if any) of the above factors are at play here.

Excess gas? So while this may not be entirely causative of your baby’s colic, we know that it’s certainly not helpful and potentially makes your baby more uncomfortable. Reduce the amount of air that your baby swallows by ensuring he has a good latch while breastfeeding (lips everted around areola and no clicking sounds) and if bottle feeding, make sure he’s latched on at the base, not the tip of the bottle. Also, console your baby whenever she cries. This will decrease the amount of air swallowed by crying.

What about mylicon or gripe water? I’m kind of ambivalent towards these remedies. Many parents try them but haven’t found them to be hugely helpful. A study in the April 2011 Journal of Pediatrics found that while herbal supplements like gripe water may help, the results were inconclusive. So I tell parents, if they are inclined to try them, go ahead. If you don’t notice any improvement, than no need to continue.

For breastfeeding moms, I often encourage a trial of food elimination, starting with dairy then moving on to the other “fuss” foods listed above. Often, these same foods may be reintroduced after the colic has subsided as long as there are no signs of a true food allergy.

If your baby’s doctor thinks reflux is playing a role, then it will be helpful to keep your baby elevated at a 45 degree angle after feeding, feed more frequently with smaller amounts, and your baby may or may not need a medication prescribed for reflux.

Still, even after addressing these above issues, you baby may still have some colic to contend with. Here are some potent baby soothers that will help both you and your baby feel more in control of this (not so little thing) called colic.

Motion. Holding, rocking, walking, vibrating…you get it…move that baby. Colicky babies loved to be held, cuddled and soothed.

Sucking. Breastfeeding and bottle feeding are comforting. But if your baby isn’t hungry, it’s okay to offer a pacifier if she takes it. Sucking is a potent soother, so if the pacifier helps…let it!

Swaddling. Oh I love a good, snug swaddle; and so do babies. Invest in a couple of large swaddling blankets and hone your swaddling skills.

Massage, baby bends, and music. Gently rub your baby’s back and tummy, do the “bicycle” with his legs, and play some soothing music. Find what works for your baby and go for it.

Ask for help and take a break. Colic can be both heartbreaking and frustrating. Ask for help. Go outside for some fresh air. Ask your partner to take the night shift so you can sleep. If frustration combined with sleep deprivation is mounting, remember it’s okay to put your baby safely in her crib and walk away. Take a breather. I know this goes without saying, but never shake your baby. Take care of yourself then come back to your baby with a new and fresh perspective.

I know this is long, and honestly I could write forever on colic, crying, and fussy/gassy babies…so I hope this helps you understand the why of colic (it’s common and not your fault), ways you can help your baby and ultimately know that you and your baby will survive this colicky phase.

It will end.

Your baby will continue to grow and thrive.

At 3-4 months of age, you’ll see that the 4th trimester is truly over and your formerly “fussy” and “gassy” baby has mostly smiles and eyes for only you…his first love.

Did you have a colicky baby? What helped you and your baby? What questions do you have about colic?

Since we talked about sleep this week (lack of it, more specifically), I’ve gathered some truths of mine about sleep and our children. Tell me if you agree…then please, make me laugh (or cry) and share yours too.

• Some days, we are counting the minutes until bedtime. Our eyes are constantly on the clock, and we wonder if 3pm is too early to get them in their PJs and just start the bedtime routine already! Hey, it takes an hour an a half anyway…might as well get a jump start. Then, when our little rambunctious munchkins finally close their eyes and their little bodies give in to sleep, we let out a huge sigh of relief, stare at them and wonder how the heck did this day fly by so fast?, wow look how quickly they’re growing up, and oh what angels…you get the idea.

• You’re in heaven because somehow, the stars all aligned, sleep dust was sprinkled, and voila…both your 8 month old and 3 year old are finally sleeping through the night!! Hallelujah. The very next day? Someone is sick, teething, or going through a growth spurt. It was nice while it lasted…now here we go again…from scratch. Ugh.

• You’ll never be more exhausted in your life as when you have a newborn. Never. Just won’t happen. You can’t even imagine the likes of such sleep deprivation. And I know sleep deprivation. Being on overnight call every third night during residency and not sleeping for 36 hours? It’s got nothing on the bone sucking sleep deprivation that is new motherhood. Sleep when the baby sleeps? Heck yeah. Let someone else do the rest.

• Paying your children to go to sleep actually works. Trust me. When we were having bedtime issues with our 4 and 6 year old, we starting creating reward charts for abiding by the bedtime routine and staying in bed…the whole night. Suddenly, no one wanted a drink in the middle of the night or came downstairs for the millionth time in search of a snack. I’m just saying, bribery (I mean, positive reinforcement) works. (BTW, think we need to start this up again for a certain boy who loves and has mastered the bedtime stall)

• I’m both a drill sergeant and a push over when bedtime comes around. I’m really good and adamant about getting them in their beds in a timely manner…I’m just not very good at leaving. Just one more story, stay with me until I fall asleep…more often then not, I tend to acquiesce. I’m working on it. It’s a give and take.

One day, all this crazy bedtime nonsense, bed shuffling, waking in the middle of the night, pleas of I can’t fall asleep…will be a distant memory. Right? Until then, grab those zzz’s when you can, laugh whenever possible…and do whatever works to get the best possible sleep for all!

What are your crazy/funny/sad truths about children and sleep?

I’ve heard and read:

I feel like a failure, my 3 year still doesn’t sleep through the night.

I’ve somehow failed my child, she can’t sleep unless she’s in my arms.

I’m still getting up with my 2 year old in the middle of the night, and it’s driving me crazy!

Sleep is elusive when you’re a parent of a newborn and/or young child and yet, it’s so vital…not a luxury at all!

In addition to the above pleas, I’ve read about pediatricians confessing to being sleep softies (myself included), moms confessing to taking the cry it out approach, and still many more moms unsure of how to get the best sleep for themselves and their child.

Over my last year and 8 months of blogging, I’ve made a few confessions myself: how I became an accidental co-sleeper and how both my kids hated the crib, so spent only a handful of nights in them. It’s why I wrote this post a year ago about how we should really just ditch all the guilt and find what works for our individual families.

I could devote this blog purely to sleep and never run out of post ideas because sleep is that important and so many of us struggle with finding that sleep rhythm with our children. I recall one night with my 8 month old…vividly….it was the turning/breaking point for me. I was up for the 3rd (maybe 4th) time; rocking, soothing, shushing him back to sleep. I was so absolutely T.I.R.E.D.

I scream spelled the F word. Not at my child. At the situation. At feeling like an utter failure. At simply wanting to lay down on that bed I was standing next to…and just SLEEP.

My husband looked at me like I was crazy. I was. Exhausted and crazy. It’s how I spent the first 8 months of my son’s life.

It’s no way to live people. We need sleep. Our babies need it, we need it…we must find a way to get it.

Admittedly, I was lost when it came time to getting my baby to sleep that didn’t involve my arms 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I’m not exaggerating here. As a pediatrician and first time mom, I felt I failed my baby in every conceivable way. How can he not know how to sleep? How did I mess this up?

The hard truth was, I had my own agenda. My own preconceived notions of where, how, and when he should sleep. In a crib and for at least 6 hours at night by this point (8 months), right?

My baby didn’t fit the mold. He hated the crib, my gentle attempts at CIO were met with red-faced wails, followed by dry heaving and vomiting. Needless to say, I ditched that method fairly quickly but immediately felt like a failure. How come I couldn’t make it work? I was patient. I listened to his cries, came back in to soothe, went back out, and so forth…only to be met with more intense wailing and shrieking.

I was fighting every instinct I had (that was telling me to pick that baby up and hug him) because I thought it was what I should do.

I decided right then and there that I needed to find another way. We both needed sleep. Desperately. But we weren’t going to find it this way.

In that moment, I went straight to our room, put our queen mattress on the floor, stripped it of all the blankets except for the sheet. My husband was relegated to an aerobed until we bought another mattress. Baby and I slept on that mattress on the floor for the next 8 months.

Ideal? No

But did we sleep? Yes we did, and peacefully.

A world of difference.

He was eventually weaned to a mattress on the floor in his own room at 16 months of age and our weaning process was gradual. He was (and still is) a child who needed a lot of nighttime parenting and soothing to sleep well.

I was completely prepared for the same once baby number two came along. But, thank the heavens, this girl could sleep!

A girl after my own heart.

There were only 2 nights I can remember when I had to let her fuss it out a bit. That’s the thing…she fussed…she didn’t wail or shriek. I knew she could do it, so I gave her the space and time to find sleep on her own.

It’s worth repeating…every.child.is.different.

So parents, this is what I say to you…sleep will come (eventually) and what I’ve found is that it’s our children who usually show us the way. We can’t so much as choose their eye color as we can choose how well they will find sleep on their own. We can help, yes, and encourage healthy bedtime routines and habits. However, getting to know your baby before you commit to a particular sleep strategy will save both of you unnecessary sleepless nights.

*A word about babies and sleep cycles: the first 3-4 months of your baby’s life is truly like a fourth trimester. They have shorter sleep cycles and cannot be expected to sleep through the night. Some will, but most won’t. Somewhere around the 6 month mark, their sleep cycles mature and can sleep for longer stretches during the night. And? No you cannot spoil a baby by rocking, cuddling, and responding to his cries. Let’s debunk that myth once and for all. When our babies cry, they are communicating with us and it’s up to us to decipher what they mean. We become pretty good at that, don’t we?*

So, whenever I answer parents’ questions about sleep, I first ask this: are you okay with your current sleeping arrangement and is the sleeping area safe? If yes to both…forget the negative chatter, ditch the guilt, and carry on.

If you’re still searching to find the right way for you and your child, know this: there is no one right way, forget the “should dos” and listen to your child. Your sleep needs matter too. Try a strategy that feels right for you. Whether it’s some version of the cry it out approach, co-sleeping, or some combination of various approaches…do what you know is right for both you and your child.

Your baby really does want to sleep (in spite of loud protests); and it’s ultimately up to us to figure out the best way for our unique child. Don’t be afraid to try out a few strategies before finding one that fits. Know that you will and that you can.

We have enough guilt to contend with as parents, getting our children (and ourselves) some much needed sleep shouldn’t be added to our guilt list.

Dear parents, I support sleep…however you achieve it…heaven knows it’s a necessity, not a luxury.

How did you finally find a sleep rhythm with your children? Was it a struggle? What was the best sleep advice you were given? The worst?

“You have insufficient glandular tissue.”  These words were spoken to me by my lactation consultant after what seemed like hours as she poked and prodded my breasts. I was three weeks in to being a new mom and was an emotional wreck.  Breastfeeding was going horribly. I was hardly producing any milk and despite all my attempts, I just couldn’t figure out why.

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

So, when she uttered those words I must have let out a nervous laugh or something because she placed her hand on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eyes and said it again…then…”it’s not your fault”.  Well she opened up a flood gate of tears and I think they were tears of relief.  Really? So…I’m not some crazy, inept new mom doing everything wrong?

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

I’d been doing everything in my power to breastfeed. And when I say everything, I mean it. I did it all…supplements, tubes taped to my breast while my son nursed, pumping like a crazy woman…still, never did I get that sensation of fullness or that my milk was coming in.  Never.

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

Back at home, scrutinizing my breasts in the mirror, I could see now what she was talking about.  All the signs were there. The shape of my breasts, no change in my breasts during pregnancy, no milk coming in after giving birth. I wasn’t crazy. It wasn’t my fault.

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

I continued to study my breasts, looking at them in a whole new light. They had betrayed me. Not functional, just there. Me, trying desperately to make them do what they should do. What all women should be able to do.  I looked at them. I hated them. They broke my heart.

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

Still, I did all I could to coax that milk out.  At the height of my breastfeeding experience I got a whopping 2 ounces! This was after 3 months of non stop nursing and pumping.  And those 2 ounces…I treated it like gold and dutifully saved it for my son’s next feeding. I would mix it with formula, which somehow, lessened the pain of giving it to him.  Problem is those two ounces would only happen 2-3 times per day.

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

I remember being embarrassed, ashamed that I couldn’t nurse my son.  Every fiber in my being wanted it so badly. I longed for those quiet nursing sessions. The peaceful sound of swallowing, of satisfied murmurs. It never happened.

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

It’s embarrassing to admit, to talk about…but, it’s exactly what I have.  I spent months trying to force these dysfunctional breasts in to production. The time, the effort put in…all for a measly ounce or two. And yet, I kept at it because I’m a woman, a mother…I should be able to breastfeed.

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

Please don’t judge me. You don’t know. If you’ve never experienced this, how can you possibly know? Still, there will be those who will quietly think…she gave up, she didn’t really try everything.  I did…believe me, I did.

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

I hated feeding my baby in public.  I never could just sit down, cover up and nurse.  I envied those mothers. I wanted to be that mother. I stayed home. Nursed for 20 minutes, then pumped while giving him his real meal…the bottle of formula.  Our nursing sessions were just the appetizer.

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

Please don’t stare at me as I reach for that bottle, feed my baby and think…I can’t believe she doesn’t breastfeed her baby. Please don’t go all Gisele on me. You don’t know.

Insufficient Glandular Tissue

The blow to my self-esteem as a mother, as a woman. It still hurts.

I remember our last pseudo-nursing session. My son was 5 months old and I knew what supply I had , had pretty much dwindled to almost nothing. We were quietly playing, I picked him up to give him some cuddles.  He turned in, like he wanted to nurse…which filled my heart with so much joy.

He still loved it…the tiny amounts he did get, the bonding.  For a moment, I pretended I was one of those moms. The ones with ample breast milk. I brought my baby close and nursed him. It lasted all but about 5 minutes and I could physically feel him draining those last drops of gold.

He let out a sigh of contentment. He didn’t fuss, wasn’t frantically searching for more. It was like he knew. Tears were streaming down my face. It was over. We both sat there for a few moments. Mother and baby cuddled together…happy.

Soon, the hunger set in…my baby started to fuss but I was at peace as I went to make him a bottle. Looking at my angel boy, I finally saw my body in a whole new light. I am a Woman, a Mother.

A Mother whose body created and nourished this beautiful boy for 9 months.  I am a mother who went through 16 hours of labor and delivered this 8 pound 4 ounce healthy baby.  A mother who in spite of Insufficient Glandular Tissue (IGT) continues to nourish, love, and adore this baby I have been blessed with.

And with that knowledge, that realization…I try to stop beating myself up over IGT.  I stop focusing on what my body could not do for my children and focus on everything it could and can do. And, with each passing day, that part of my heart that has been broken is mended…one little hug/kiss/laugh/cry at a time.

*Originally posted August 5, 2010*

This is my breastfeeding story, what is yours? Did you struggle with breastfeeding? If so, you were able to overcome those struggles?

Do you have an extra one? Is there space for a booster? Does your child still ride in a booster?

I’m a stickler when it comes to car seats. Heck, my almost 7 year old is still riding in a 5 point restraint in my car! He used to complain, but I managed to convince him how cool his ginormous, side impact with built in cup holders seat truly is. He’ll move on to a booster when he outgrows this one.

It’s a safety issue I’m adamant about. Driving is probably the most dangerous thing we do on a daily basis and  many of us do it for a good chunk of the day. I know, I know…we all have stories about when we were kids. I still remember standing up in the back of my parents’ blue station wagon. I also remember my little sister getting flung under the seat, her head trapped beneath it when my mom had to slam on her brakes. Ahhh…the crazy days of the 70′s.

Back to carpooling…a recent national survey published in the February issue of the Journal of Pediatrics found that when it comes time for carpooling, booster seat use is inconsistent at best. Half of the parents would forgo a booster for their own child if her peers were not using one, and many parents weren’t even sure about booster seat recommendations and/or current laws in their state.

I can see how easily this can occur. I hear and partake in this conversation often. I finally purchased an extra booster seat to have on hand for friends and to send with my own child to make carpooling easier and safer.

What parents should know is this: both the American Academy of Pediatrics and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration recommend boosters for children until they are at least 8 years old and reach 4 ft 9 in.  In our state of California, this became law on January 1, 2012.

There is no safe distance for skipping on the car seat or booster. I hear this often, it’s only around the corner. I know how tempting it can be. Another friend of mine, who’s also a car seat stickler, had a horrific roll over accident when her children were still infants. Thankfully, everyone was okay. They were just around the corner from their house.

So, I urge all parents to pick up an extra booster today and believe me, I know how inconvenient it can be when your child is still only in  5 point harness. My 4 year old is not graduated to a booster yet. She doesn’t get to carpool unless there’s an extra car seat in the other car.

Take the time to review the most current car seat recommendations here. Notable are the booster recommendations I outlined above and keeping your toddler rear facing as long as possible, up to at least 2 years old is preferable (as opposed to the previous 1 year and 20 pounds).

Carpooling is fun for kids. My son loves it when a friend gets to ride with us and vice versa; just remember to use that booster for all the kids in your car who still need one.

Has carpooling become difficult for you because of the booster and car seat issue?

Other car seat resources:

AAP Car Seat Information 2012

The Car Seat Lady

Our first without the kids.

It’s been almost 7 years, and not a night at least one of us hasn’t tucked them in, read books, sang some songs, and drifted off to sleep right by their side.

I’m both incredibly excited and extremely anxious about it all.

Hubs keeps thinking I’m going to cancel at any minute. He keeps asking, so are we really going?

Yes…we’re going.

We’re leaving our kids in the very capable and loving hands of their grandparents. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa!

And I know they will be fine.

More than fine. They are going to love it.

But, my mind wanders. What if?

What if one of them gets hurt? What if Little Sister can’t fall asleep because she’s used to me stroking her hair while she drifts peacefully off into dream land, her head resting on my chest?

What if Big Brother worries about us? What if he wakes in the night calling for us?

And then…my biggest what if….

What if something happens to us?

I know it’s irrational and I’m doing my darnedest to shut these thoughts out.

But they sneak in.

They sneak in when I least expect it.

Like tonight when Big Brother was laughing, his big brown eyes looking into mine. I was struck by his handsomeness. His genuine laughter and silliness that filled the air.

Our world right there.

Then again, in Little Sister’s room. Her face lit by the dim light. How her beautiful dark lashes frame her deep, dark eyes. How she still says “wittle” instead of little. How she giggles and I want to run and grab the video camera to capture that innocent 4 year old giggle forever.

Our world right here.

I know this mini getaway is much needed and way overdue, but having our little family separated…it makes me worry.

Part of me wants to say, what the heck…let’s all go.

And we usually do.

But this time it’s for us.

Time to recharge, celebrate, and bask in uninterrupted us time.

Plus?

Oh.my.gawd….we get to sleep in.

Sleep in!

Okay, I think I can do it. I’m letting go, little by little…and darn if the prospect of getting to sleep in after 7 years is what’s going to help me get through it.

How did you handle the first night away from your kids? Any advice on getting past the worry?

Pink eye is one of those afflictions that causes us to squirm, think “oh no!”, and inspire us to wash our hands a million times throughout the day. Most of us tend to hide away inside our homes until the icky looking discharge oozing from our child’s eyes disappears.

So, what exactly is pink eye, and what do we truly need to do about it?

Here are some quick facts about pink eye:

• Pink eye is a general term for what we pediatricians call conjunctivitis.
• Conjunctivitis is the inflammation of the mucus membrane of the inner eyelids.
• Conjunctivitis can be caused by viruses, bacteria, environmental allergies, or a topical irritant.
• Viral conjunctivitis in young children is very common, especially during the summer.
• Viral conjunctivitis will go away on it’s own, without antibiotic drops.
• Only bacterial conjunctivitis needs to be treated with antibiotic eye drops.

Which brings me to my next question, how do we know if it’s bacterial conjunctivitis?

• With bacterial conjunctivitis, the eye discharge is more likely to be yellow/green and “icky”.
• Children with bacterial conjunctivitis often wake up with their eyes “sealed shut”.
• Can be associated with an accompanying ear infection.
• These cases need to be treated with antibiotic drops.
• A child with bacterial conjunctivitis may return to school 24 hours after initiation of treatment and obvious signs of improvement.

Five factors pointing to a non-bacterial culprit for conjunctivitis:

• The child is older than 6 years old
• It’s summer time: viral conjunctivitis is more common during the late spring and summer months.
• The discharge from your child’s eye is clear, watery, and may or may not be associated with allergy symptoms such as sneezing and eye itching.
• No yellow/green eye discharge
• Child does not wake with his eyes “sealed shut”.

If your child meets most of the criteria above, her conjunctivitis is more likely due to a virus or may be part of her allergy symptoms.

Tips for Treatment and Prevention:

• Be vigilant about hand washing. Both viral and bacterial conjunctivitis are extremely contagious.
• HAND WASHING. It’s worth repeating.
• Warm and/or cold compresses will ease the discomfort and swelling of the affected eye, regardless of the cause.
• If it’s bacterial and your child is prescribed antibiotic drops, finish the designated days of treatment.
• In most cases, treat both eyes even if only one appears to be infected at the time. Young children will inevitably spread it to the other eye. Avoid the ping pong effect.
• Tip for antibiotic administration: have your child lie down, it’s okay if her eyes are closed. Place the drop in the inner eye, near the nose. Once your child starts blinking, the drops will enter the eye.

Now you know…not all pink eyes are created equal. Only half of the cases in children are truly bacterial. Look for the signs above, consult with your pediatrician, and above all…keep on washing those hands.

What questions do you have about pink eye?

*This post was originally published March, 30, 2011*

I won’t beat around the bush here…my answer was, and is, a resounding No. Not ever. Not even a swat on the bottom.

I asked her how she felt about spanking and she admitted she was conflicted. She thought it worked but didn’t feel good about it. We talked some more, especially about ways to set limits, boundaries, and parent her child without resorting to spanking. She seemed confident that she could try other techniques.

I was incredibly grateful (and a bit surprised) that she openly discussed this with me. These conversations between pediatricians/parents and even parent to parent are few and far between. The issue seems akin to don’t ask, don’t tell and let’s just sweep it under the rug.

And, if recent studies are accurate indicators, up to 65% of parents spank their children. Yikes.

So, we should be talking about it. Many parents who do spank, often admit they wish they didn’t “have” to. In other words, they were at a loss on how to stop undesirable behaviors without resorting to spanking. Furthermore, many of us can recall being spanked as children. It was an accepted form of discipline in previous generations, and we’re just fine, aren’t we?

Even so, study after study reveals what seems logical to me…violence begets violence. It’s simple really. Toddlers who are consistently spanked, don’t actually end up behaving “better” in the long run. On the contrary, they become more aggressive and are prone to hitting when they themselves become frustrated or angry.

And of course, I want my children to listen, be kind, not hit, and keep them safe…I just don’t see spanking as a useful way to do that. In any way, shape, or form. Sure, it may intimidate your child and perhaps temporarily stop a certain behavior out of fear. But, is this what we really want…for our children to fear us?

I hope that most of us are saying NO.

In my moments of greatest frustration and disappointment in my children, for instance when one of them deliberately hurts the other or when, as a toddler, they have darted toward a crowded parking lot; I would be lying if I didn’t admit to momentarily wondering if a swift swat to the bottom was in order.

Instead, I got down to their level, eye to eye, and firmly reprimanded the undesirable behavior. I let them know how sad/mad/scared their behavior made me and made it clear they were never to do it again.

I used my words.

Something we often expect and encourage our children to do.

We are parents…human and fallible. We are also parents who want more than anything to be the best possible parent we can be. Not perfect, but always striving for growth and understanding.

I wonder, if more parents took spanking off the table when it came to their disciplinary strategies, would the absence of it cultivate exactly this…more growth as a parent, more understanding of children, and a greater connection between parents and children?

I clearly believe so…what do you think?

What are your thoughts on spanking? Yay, nay, or it depends? I would love an open and honest discussion here…