Confessions of an Imperfect Mum...

On the Go Slow

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Mon, 03 Jun 2013 04:50:00 +0000

After just one week back at school, it has hit me just how much we have had to pick up the pace. In order to be at school on time, eat on time, complete homework in time to get to bed on time. It really is quite exhausting.

So why is it, that when we are in such a hurry, (which lets face it is so frequent in this go go go society we live in), the kids go slow, slow, slow!

Maybe it is just me that experiences this phenomenon?

But I am beginning to notice that the faster I go, the slower they choose to go.

And lately as I have become more aware of my "hurriedness" I have also noticed the language that accompanies it, and was a little taken aback by the number of times a day I hear myself saying the likes of ...

quickly quickly
hurry up
come on
we are running late

go fast

move it

go faster

1, 2, 3...

it's time to go

lets go

we are going

I am going

To make matters worse in those "running late" moments often they choose to amble absentmindedly just in front of your feet, slowing your pace to a hurried shuffle and eventually causing you to stumble and trip over them, as you endeavour to maintain your "pace".

In an attempt to hurry them along, a gentle but firm loving push will no doubt cause them to stumble and trip, slowing you down even further as you tend to the injury, all be it physical or emotional.

To be honest, in our household it is rare to be able to have the Mob, ready, packed, seated, belted and happy to leave the house on time (at any time of the day). Our experience typically unfolds with me barking out orders like...

put your shoes on

get your jacket

go toilet quick

have you been toilet

grab your bag

in the car

seat belt on

IS YOUR SEAT BELT ON?

To sustain the rate of knots we are living I am on autopilot half of the time. I have become so automatic, a stuck record! I am certainly tired of thinking it, over saying it and most definitely sick of hearing it.

Not buying into this "hurry mentality" instead my kids choose to:

be precise with things

want to explain something in detail

ask questions

be independent

have a creative streak

be spontaetonus

get distracted

enjoy company

play

engage in conversation

The above describes me to a T.

These are the things that I enjoy or aspire to do, but so often just have no time (or choose to make no time) for.

Maybe I have a case of slow envy?

Deep down I want to slow down and take some time to stop and "smell the roses" in the midst of the daily itinerary of life.

So as we tackle this new term, it is an opportunity for this Imperfect Mum who is on the "fast track" to hit the pause button, jump off and climb aboard the "go slow".

pause

I confess I was a little slow off the mark in proofing and hitting the publish button on this post!

So.... you may be shocked, surprised, possibly horrified or even a little humoured to know that not just 1 week of school has passed me by, but Term 4, Christmas Holidays, Term 1 and 2 more weeks of holidays.

Argh, where did that time go?

Is it dejavu? or just plain ironic, that I find myself sitting here yet again, reflecting on the past few months and weeks that flew on by me and yet again questioning our pace of life.

That said, I am pleased to report that the hustle and bustle of life has slowed down somewhat. Our new location, a few lifestyle changes, joining the oh so wonderful walking school bus and a step up in responsibility on the Mob's part have all contributed to a little bit more of leisurely living.

Not there yet, but definitely heading in the right direction.

One slow and steady pace at a time.

So how is your pace of life?

Are you slow and steady or fast and furious?

TV or not TV that is the Question

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Tue, 14 Aug 2012 01:56:00 +0000

I am beginning to see a pattern.

When there is change in the air or stress on the horizon, I can become a little too preoccupied on 'perfecting' for my own good.

Whether it is a morning routine tick chart, or creating nutritious lunch boxes, I have a tendency to go all gungho on my latest and greatest obsession, in an attempt to bring a sense of control to my life.

And so it was, with the latest school holidays looming and the impending stress in which they could entail, that I started to analyse screen time and found myself asking, TV or not TV, that is the question?

Most sane people would interject at this point and warn that school holidays is not the time to be a martyr and question TV viewing.

But I was!

Determined to avoid the effects of too much TV time over the holidays.

Of course it is not just TV anymore, it is a whole lot more prevalent now with DVD's, Wii, Xbox, PlayStation, and the net (thankfully we are not proud owners of all of the above culprits).

Before you know it the kids are having a screen fest and I have observed that this "screen" stuff can be rather addictive. Just one more episode, just one more game, just one more level...

Now I am in no means against TV, for in times gone by the TV and I forged a close relationship. I found it to be most obliging to babysit Precious on his frequent 5.30am risings, playing reruns of our knight in shining armour... Thomas!

Nowadays, it's the power of the pig. Pepper Pig, a little female snorting pig, along with her brother George who somehow manages to simultaneously stimulate, educate and entertain a 7, 4 and 2 year old!

Of course in a perfect world my lot would sleep in, consume a large nutritious breakfast (and clean up after themselves), venture outside for the day to play happily and creatively, reappearing only for the needs of hydration and refuelling. The mere thought of "screen" a distant memory...

But my reality plays out a little different to that! Well alot different, and so to meet the needs of all of those that dwell within this home, it was a given, we need screen time!

But how much was the question?

I confess there have been times I have been tempted to take things to the extreme and crank up the lap top to provide a third and alternative viewing experience, to accommodate the 3 different ages and stages of interest and development.

And in more dire times when desperate for a "moment" of peace and quiet I have been known to threaten "quiet TV time or time out"!

Finding a happy medium was now my objective.

And I took a rather radical approach.

Instead of setting limits for TV time (knowing the energy required to instigate, negotiate and adjudicate these limits), I decided to allow the kids the freedom and responsibility to "self televise" something like "self medicating" although a little less hazardous to the health.

Some may call it irresponsible... I called it survival!

So how did we go?

Well the results are in and surprise surprise, this new found freedom meant the kids watched less TV than normal and we all lapped up the benefits as a result.

Will this tactic continue for the term? Most definitely not! We may test the waters again as the next school holidays draw near, but in the meantime...

What do you think? TV, friend or foe?

A little bit of "ish"

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 11:44:00 +0000

I am right in the thick of it!

1 week down and 1 to go...

School holidays have rolled around again at an alarming rate and have caught me a little off guard.

As a rule I would normally be prepped and planned, armed with a schedule of play dates and activities to accommodate and hopefully please the Mob.

But surprisingly, this time round I found myself slightly unprepared and a tad nervous of the "unknown" ahead.

In spite of my ad hoc approach, I am pleased to report that with one week down and only a couple of minor hiccups along the way, we passed the test and have come out the other side.

However after today, and as I stare down the barrel of another 4 energy and intensity packed days of quality time with the MOB, I am beginning to question my need for a school holiday survival strategy for week number 2.

Too easily I can fall prey to the stress and pressure of a "well kept orderly house" and maintenance of a "routine" in order to keep our family ticking over like a well oiled machine.

So it can be a real challenge for this Imperfect (Perfectionist) Mum to throw caution to the wind in order to make things a little easier on herself and adopt the attitude of "a little bit of ish".

A concept a friend of mine introduced me to via a comment she left on my post "Perfect Blog". She said...

"Setting 'ish' as your standard can be very freeing. Maybe your parenting is consistent-ish. Maybe you're following-ish your exercise plan. Giving myself a pat on the back for 'ish' achievements has been a great way to silence the perfectionist bully in my own life."

I like the idea of it and have decided to put it to the test.

My take on "a little bit of ish" for the remainder of the school holidays is going to look something like this...

Nutritious-ish, 5+ a day is taking a break and instead the menu will be heavily influenced by convenience, practicality and perhaps some "packaged foods" too. So self serve breakfast cereals that can be consumed with or without a spoon/milk are stocked and ready to go!

Clean-ish, taking a break from my war on dirt and grime! Cleaning is so overated these days. Once clean it is inevitable that my children, clothes, dishes, house etc will become dirty again, (sometimes within minutes) so clean-ish will suffice for the surplus of these holidays.

On time-ish, my days are ususally a race against the clock. So this stickler for being on time is going to relish the concept of a little "flexi-time".  Getting there when we get there, be it to kindy, an activity, ready for dinner or into bed.

Fair-ish, let's face sometimes life is just not fair! So I am giving myself permission to not feel guilty when I call a shot that may be deemed NOT FAIR, in the eyes of a particular little person.

Tidy-ish, perhaps the hardest one to get my head around.  I struggle with my friend's stance that "toys are not mess" when I look around my abode and see toy havoc and chaos in every corner. But, I am willing to apply a little bit of "ish" and to attempt to embrace the creative and somewhat messy play that goes on in my neck of the woods.

Consistent-ish, the mere thought of being "consistent" can be tiresome, let alone actually doing it.  So I am welcoming the opportunity to be consistent-ish with my parenting and breaking some of my own "rules". After all, aren't rules made to be broken?

So there you have it, our little bit of "ish".

I am interested and excited-ish to see how we get on with all of this, and will keep you posted.

In the meantime what other "ish" ideas do you have?

image by freepik

What's for dinner?

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Thu, 24 May 2012 00:40:00 +0000

What's for dinner?

Is the one question that I anticipate (with fear and trepidation) at the same time, every day, without fail!

For to serve up a nutritious and delicious meal, while catering for 5 individual tastes and idiosyncrasies is no mean feat.

Accommodating dairy, nut and egg free for Precious, Special's aversion to "chunks" and "things touching" a love of vegetables for Gorgeous, The Man's partiality to sauces, and my interest in new tastes and sensations, it is a wonder that I am able to produce any meal for us to feast on.

Let alone 7 nights a week!

So in order to tick all the boxes, and expose my children to cuisine that breaks the "meat and 3 veg" mould I grew up on, I find myself...

trawling through cookbooks
experimenting
replacing
blending
separating
and serving tomato and soy sauce as condiments

All of this discipline and dedication can be rewarding, exhausting and disheartening at the same time. Knowing that despite my efforts it is unlikely that I am able to simultaneously satisfy The Mob.

So it was with great pleasure the other morning, when I raced out the door, 2 kids in tow, and left the The Man alone with the crock pot, a bunch of ingredients and an open cookbook to decipher and follow.

And even greater pleasure on my return, welcomed by the aromas of dinner, and savouring the knowledge that when asked the age old question "what's for dinner?"

I would be able to say, with glee... "I don't know, ask Dad"!

How does your dinner menu rate? Do tell!

image by freepik

Making Memories

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Sat, 12 May 2012 10:36:00 +0000

Was what we did on a Saturday
night not too long ago.

A family memory that is etched into our minds for many years to come.

But unfortunately for all the wrong reasons!

It was our first family movie night, to be one of many, that was until we actually experienced it.

In preparation for the big occasion I was tempted to strategically place props and paraphernalia so as to photograph and blog about our loving family experience.

But with the time pressures, stress and chaos to get this event off the ground, all was forgotten as we forged ahead determined to make a memory worth remembering.

And remember it we will, as the worst family movie night!

Thanks to one Imperfect Mum who was unwavering in her pursuit to make it the most 'perfect' family movie night ever.

Needless to say there was tension in the air and expectations were rising to unrealistic highs.

This should have been the red flag, yet I pressed on.

Making up time from our delayed dinner, bath, and PJ routine, I was in preparation mode of popping corn, pouring juice and portioning lollies when unbeknown to me, The Man had dragged the single mattress into the lounge to take up front row residence on the lounge floor.

Not for the purpose of prime viewing, but with the ulterior motive of catching a sneaky nap during Mr Poppers Penguins!

This was not good, it was a green light to the boys signalling a quick wrestling match, which was not conducive to quiet time and family unity.

Ten minutes into the feature film the questions started. It was evident the movie had not captured their attention and instead a preoccupation with the lollies had began.

After enduring another 30 minutes of excessive talking, spilt juice, and the beginnings of a sugar rush kicking in, we pulled rank and pulled the plug on the movie.

I was disappointed to say the least, and deprived of the opportunity to "experience" and gloat about our first ever family movie night.

The Mob, on the other hand were relieved.

Tired restless children eager to hit the sack, where Precious made it known that he felt it was "the worst family movie night ever".....

I agreed!

The Man was itching to zone out.

I was longing for peace and quiet.

As we settled down to an episode of Downtown Abbey, we drank in and relished our quiet treasured adult time and quickly came to the realisation that we would not be attempting it again in a hurry.

Call it selfishness or wisdom?

I don't know?

But what I do know, is that for now, our Mob are perfectly capable of creating memories that are fun and good, life giving and spontaneous. That we do not always need an agenda, let alone a perfect plan, to experience moments of life together that are worth remembering.

We just need to be present, and that is a good thing, because being present is something that I can do!

Are you making family memories/family traditions?

How do you do it?

image by freepik

How sweet the sound

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 23:31:00 +0000

of silence that is...

We are far from being a quiet household.

Instead we are a collection of extroverts and "spiritedness", who believe we each have a right to be heard and will passionately compete for airspace and centre stage to tell our story.

Excitement, interruptions, tension and turmoil frequently lift our noise level to record breaking highs. Engulfed in the noise pollution that exists within the confines of my 4 walls, the hope of a moment of hush is something I often long for.

For it is a rare occasion that the hustle and bustle of life comes to a standstill and I am left alone in the quietness of my thinking for just a moment, to savour the sweet sound of silence.

It is of course normally a fleeting moment, before life manages to burst in and interrupt it.

Recently a friend of mine shared that when she was in hospital for a few days she strongly desired to hear the sound of life, and as a mother of 5 you can imagine there is a lot of living going on there!

This concept seemed foreign to me, and I had to admit that when I am drowning and thrashing about in the sea of racket, I would sooner choose to hear the sound of silence.

With this honest revelation I decided to dig a little deeper to uncover the mystery which lay beneath my loathing of all things noisy.

The truth was surprisingly, all about me!

My belief, that if life is too noisy, then life feels and is out of control. And if life is out of control, then it is a reflection of me failing to keep order and control.

In other words accepting that I am imperfect (a reoccuring theme one thinks). So I challenged myself, who said that a quiet controlled environment is a true reflection of a family experiencing the essence of life?

Maybe the sounds of creativity and imagination, assertiveness and confidence, relationship and conflict resolution, and passion and joy, are an expression of freedom and warrant a little air space from time to time?

So as I soldier on in this war on noise, my hope is that when commotion comes, I can combat my beliefs about noise, and attempt to see the living that is unfolding right before my eyes.

And instead of desiring the sound of silence, I too, can enjoy the sound of life.

Even if I do have to wear my ear plugs to take the edge off!

How is the noise level in your household? What do you do to cope?

image by freepik

Picture Perfect Afternoon

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 04:05:00 +0000

It was set to be a picture perfect afternoon...

A birthday celebration for Special and Gorgeous,

Coffee and cake...

So what went wrong?

Or should I say what went right?

It was a shaky start given we were all suffering from a case of Rugby World Cup’itis, and I had experienced an unfortunate bout of insomnia the night prior (which may have been attributed to my sneaky midnight sugar victory indulgence)?

The reality of my meagre 3 hours sleep kicked in as I faced the task ahead... to recreate the famous Rainbow Cake. With 3 tired rugrats under my feet I diligently lined up my mixing bowls, spoons and gel colours.

How difficult could this be?

Just follow the recipe and remember to substitute the eggs for egg replacer to accommodate Precious’s egg allergy. So far so good until the first batch of primary colours were out of the oven and began cooling, sinking, and developing a crunchy exterior. arrgghhh the egg replacer was the culprit.

As layer upon layer got the same result I began to unravel....

The Man, who was eager to help ease the burden of the rainbow cake, made the suggestion I abandon ship and a quick trip to the supermarket for a cream sponge would suffice. I was aghast, succumb to and serve a store bought sponge for coffee and cake!

What would people think? What would I think?

No I couldn’t, I would press on. An extra measure of perseverance and a few long black’s later saw me trimming, stacking, icing and salvaging my homemade rainbow cake.

As the birthday preparations went on I confess there were some growls, tears and a few shouts here and there (to be fair I had been running on 3 hours sleep). So in order to make amends with Special I enlisted his help in my last minute decision to whip up some homemade hummus.

It was fatal...

Against my better judgement I allowed him to spoon the hummus directly into my “serving dish” and my reminder to hold the dish coincided perfectly as he lost his grip and we watched it smash into a zillion pieces splattering hummus onto every surface of the freshly cleaned kitchen.

A speedy wipe up and vacuum soon rectified the problem, just in time to see the clock strike 3pm and the first of the family to arrive. I ran through my checklist... House tidy, MOB nicely presented, nibbles done, coffee brewed and of course cake freshly baked and ready to be eaten.

We were on! but by this stage so was my thumping headache, frazzled nerves and fractious children!

All of my efforts to host (my notion) of a picture perfect afternoon were undone in minutes... an excited and frenzied wee left the toilet needing some serious attention, chips scattered the floor, dip slopped on the coffee table. Before my eyes in slow motion, the giant puzzle box was upended in the middle of the lounge and hundreds of pieces of Bob the Builder, Thomas and Bananas in Pyjamas covered my floor begging to be reassembled.

Faster than fast the kids carefully chosen “birthday outfits” were tossed aside and superhero costumes donned (more fitting for the occasion I was told). Then rivalry broke out as Special and Gorgeous became super possessive and somewhat aggressive over their new gifts, and poor Precious could not get a look in.

By cake time, the kids were too tired to appreciate the WOW factor, my niece innocently questioned the cake’s sunken middle (although I had endeavoured to pack it with an abundance of cream cheese icing), and Precious decided he did not like the taste of the cake that had been so painstakingly tailored to suit his dietary requirements and politely passed on a piece.

With cake in hand, I finally slumped on the couch in utter exhaustion. It was a shame it had taken me this long to come to the end of myself, to admit defeat and confess that...

“Today was not a great day”!

and to face the reality of what had just played out before my eyes. What had I subjected the family too in order to portray this illusion of Happy Families?

Because the truth was... we were not a happy family on this particular coffee and cake day.

We were not even content, we were in fact a tired, grumpy, grizzly, whinging, quarrelling MOB that was trying our hardest (by my influence of course) to fake it until we could make it. But unfortunately we did not make it, instead we were exposed, I was exposed, because as the afternoon wore on the cracks began to show...

The polite smile wore off, tension rose, and the loving guidance dissipated. Exhibiting an “I’ve had enough”, “take us as you find us” kind of attitude we were finally being real.

It wasn’t particularly picture perfect but it was strangely liberating.

On reflection of the day’s events I had to come clean with myself that I did in fact have opportunities to make better choices throughout the day. Instead, as a result of my imperfections and insecurities I chose to remain fixated on my own agenda of trying to plan and pull off a “picture perfect” coffee and cake. A big mistake!

Humbled, apologetic and desperate for some sleep, I recalled a quote in a post I had recently written on "making good choices". Aristotle said, "good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.” I vowed that I would gain experience from this.

So with this lesson learnt and the clock ticking, with less than 3 months until we host our next “coffee and cake”,

Either that or invite the family to the inaugural birthday tea and biscuits!

What is your idea of a "picture perfect afternoon"?

image by BHC School of Design Blog

Make Good Choices

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 01:37:00 +0000

"Make good choices" is something I hear myself quoting on a regular basis to my eldest Precious" (or in fact to anyone who cares to listen).

At 6 years going on 7, he is becoming more aware of his actions, their consequences and his power and ability in making choices. Not only is this "make good choices" thing an excellent learning opportunity, and skill for life, it just so happens to be an excellent bargaining tool!

On a day when stress levels are high and harmony is low, when two brothers choose to quibble and quarrel over anything and everything, and a potential play date is looming....

I hear myself calling out the reminder ... "make good choices Precious", "if you want to play with your friend this afternoon, you need to show me you can first be a kind friend to your brother", and just like that, the atmosphere changes.... hugs all round, best friends forever.

As I carry on my 'duties' and hear teasing, taunting and tension rising, a quick reminder from the kitchen deems fitting.... "Are you making good choices"??? 3 x over I am a stuck record, "I hope you are making good choices"!

Just how much mileage can I get from this without having to leave my kitchen post in order to investigate the happenings in the trenches?

It's at this point Special pipes up in an antaganistic manner "um was that a good choice Precious"?, uh oh it's gone too far, war has broken out and the battle is underway. I quickly change tactics and move from preventative to a reconciliation strategy.

As I attend to the war wounds and begin to counsel two unhappy soldiers, I ask myself "did I in fact make a good choice in that moment"? and it got me thinking am I making good choices in general.

A quick scan through a typical day in the life with The Mob revealed to me just how many decisions and choices need to be made by me, The Imperfect One on a daily basis.

Choices in regards to parenting, my health and well being, relationships and personal development, my spirituality, the contribution I make, financial decisions... the list goes on and on.

But what was more daunting was the consequences of these choices and the impact, be it big or small on each one of us. As the weight of this responsibility began to settle on me and the perfectionist tendencies started to rise, I read this from Aristotle "Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.”

I liked it, it kind of let me off the hook, eased the burden and striving of having to make good or perfect choices. The reality is, sometimes we have to make a call and do the best we can in the moment, knowing that we could in fact be making a mistake (or gaining experience as Aristotle suggests).

So this whole "gain experience" thing could be my next big craze.

Although, shouting out "gain some good experience" from the other end of the house just doesn't have the same ring to it!

How is your decision making lately, good, bad or otherwise?

Catch my breath

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 03:16:00 +0000

This is the view... as I do exactly that, sit and catch my breath!

What a season it has been since I last sat to reflect on and record about life and it's happenings. The events and undertakings of the last 2 months have been laborius and demanding to say the least.

The Man turned 40, and as we prepared for and celebrated this momentus occassion with a guest list a mile long of family, friends and colleagues, a shift had transpired on the home front. The Man accepted a secondment to a new position which now entailed a whole lot more of everything!

Whilst muddling through and trying to find our feet in the midst of this change, Gorgeous turned 2 years old.

Her commitment to fulfilling the job description of a 2 year old is quite evident and to be admired. Demonstrating her will and assertiveness and her determination in mastering the perfect tantrum is a fine piece of work, and has been keeping us on our toes.

Before we could catch our breath all attention was on Special as he too celebrated a birthday, his 4th, and another step in the journey of becoming a 'Big Boy'.

As we came out the other side of all the "Happy Birthday To You's", I was perfecting the art of juggling another ball in our already busy life - that of a few hours part time work.

With Christmas festivities fast approaching and a feeling of over exposure to my current life, the idea of earning a few dollars and a break in the "monotony" seemed somewhat appealing.

So with all of this 'life' unfolding, I feel somewhat justified that I have in fact just been too preoccupied and life too hectic to be able to stop and to catch my breath. However the truth is, there have been opportunities to stop and moments to grab, but I confess.... I am always looking for the 'perfect' chance to do so. When the timing is suitable, the setting desirable and I am at my best.

Let's be honest, what is the likelihood of being able to tick all 3 of these boxes on any given day as a stay at home mum of 3. Instead I find myself yielding to the lure of the To Do List and perfecting the role of Task Master, so as to avoid the disappointment of an "imperfect" or interrupted breather.

But this morning the opportunity is here and the scene is set with perfect conditions... it is early morning, and quiet, the view of the Hokianga Harbour is still and serene, The Man is sleeping and the children are 2 hours away.

We have embarked on a 2 night getaway to a friend's bach to celebrate our anniversary. I sit with a coffee in hand, alone with a steady flow of reflections and feelings... it is bliss.

As I attempt to take in and savour this moment I disregard the gnawing fact that I know this moment too will pass, and the harsh reality will be there to bite me on my return.

But today I choose denial, that this point in time will continue. Today I choose ignorance, that I have learnt the art of bringing myself to a standstill, long enough just to catch my breath. And tomorrow I will accept the truth, and add to my To Do List... learn to stop and take a breath!

My findings and journey in attempting this will be interesting, challenging and imperfect for sure... certainly worthy of a post of it's own.

Have you mastered the art of stopping to catch your breath?

What and how do you do it? Please tell!

image by Beach Road Cottage

A Licence To Write

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 09:12:00 +0000

So here I am, I have thought about, meditated on and discussed this for a few years now, and finally today I decide to start... why has it taken me so long? Well apart from being pregnant, birthing or breast feeding for the last 7 years...

Perfectionism has posed as my ally for as long as I can remember. A bully that functions like a driving force! a strong hold that constricts life, promising failure and disappointment at each turn.

Perfectionism’s biggest collaborator, Procrastination, also has a part to play in my story and needs to be held accountable. At times procrastination would step aside, only to be surpassed by Perfectionism. Yes the two “P’s” would render me powerless and immobile to embark on this writing journey.

But today is the day I begin at 2.42pm with exactly 18 minutes before I have one arising from a doze on the couch, one waking from a sleep and the 3rd needing to be picked up from school. How quickly 18 minutes can pass when you have that entire 18 minutes to yourself, as opposed to the eternity it can feel when you are faced with a crying toddler, whinging preschooler or determined 6 year old.

12 minutes now remain, as a phone call from school is answered, a coffee group text is read and a child related email is received and sent.... But still I sit, determined to press on, savouring the silence and relishing the uninterrupted thought process, because it is time.

It is my time to write and reflect, to record and to process my thoughts and feelings, my hopes and dreams, my fears and anxieties, my successes and failures, my observations and experiences, my vision and of course my reality.... as a stay at home mother of 3!!!

A mother of three beautiful children, - the first born, our ‘Precious’ spirited one, - the second born, our ‘Special’ sensitive one and our third born, our ‘Gorgeous’ delightful one.

3 children that are unique who fight for their place in the family.

Well time is up, the minutes have ticked by and the baby monitor is calling. How wonderful it was to sit and begin the journey even if it was just for a few minutes ... at least I know now that ...

I'll be back!

image by Sam Judson

The Perfect Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 08:59:00 +0000

NO SUCH THING some would say!

Myself included, until I attempted to accomplish exactly that MY Perfect Blog.

So within the confines of Bloggers Template Designer and my limited Blogging know how I set out ...

On the surface it seemed a relatively straight forward project, until one realised just how many decisions one needed to make in order to produce a blog that would satisfy my Perfectionist tendencies.

As time ticked on, progress was slow and much attention given to design matters only the Perfectionist’s eye would discern.

I played around with draft posts comprising of a whole lot of gobbledygook and random bizarre images, to ‘get a feel’ for what posts would actually look like if I was to ever get this baby off the ground.

After a whole lot of peer pressure and a deadline looming, I finally appealed to the wisdom and expertise of an experienced Blogger friend who willingly took me on a "Bloggers for Dummies" crash course and in one evening had me poised to go live.

Or so I thought,

To my horror I was in fact ..... live!

A view of the stats showed people from Australia, Malaysia, Denmark, US, Singapore, and Germany had already stopped by to peruse and scrutinise my unfinished, flawed, imperfect blog.

Arrgghhh it was a Perfectionist’s worst nightmare!

My wide eyed possum in the headlights stare did nothing to convey the inner turmoil I was experiencing. I sat momentarily in the safe haven of ‘denial’ then found myself rapidly rolling through the other stages of grief, until finally we erupted into laughter and I arrived at acceptance. I had been so engrossed in colour harmony and fancy fonts that I had overlooked the simple act of choosing a setting to maintain the privacy of the blog until I had gotten things just right.

So that was that... I had learnt a valuable lesson, and I was no longer on a quest to fashion a perfect blog. I resigned myself to the fact that there would always be a myriad of blogs out there that would far outshine mine.

A good enough blog would just have to do, after all “perfection is via imperfection” some would say!

What 'good enough' things have you had to resign yourself to?

image by Mitchell J. Goldstein

May The Force Be With Me

noreply@blogger.com (Imperfect Mum) — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 08:49:00 +0000

In the aftermath of a 5th Birthday Pirate Party, a Lightening Mcqueen 3rd Birthday and a 1st Birthday and Dedication, I made a stand.... 2011, it would be a theme free party year for all! A fair call one would say, given the considerable amount of time, money and energy little people’s festivities can snaffle from a recovering perfectionist addicted to planning, producing and pulling off such events!

However the clock is ticking, Precious's 6th birthday is fast approaching and with his latest infatuation with Star Wars, Lego and Star Wars Lego, I find myself restless and itching to plan, produce and pull of exactly that . . . a Lego Star Wars Party, fit for my very own Jedi!

I confess: I have already over indulged in google ‘quality’ time, scrounging around potential galactic sites, in search of inspiration to design THE perfect (or should I say ‘good enough’) invitation, menu, entertainment, and of course cake. My mind is unleashed, and possibilities are endless, until the wisdom of the wallet bumps me back to reality . . .

What is one to do? . . . naturally, I test the waters, would a certain ‘nearly 6 year old’ be partial to an exciting, first rate, Star Wars Partae experience? The face said it all . . . and my fate was sealed, in that moment I had willingly surrendered to a 4 week galatic adventure.

So the journey begins, and I am instantly lost in translation.

As I enter the ‘unknown’ world of Star Wars these are the things I know for sure ...

making a paper mache Death Star Pinata, will in no way be the simple fun activity that ehow.com eludes to
with 12 boys (armed with light sabers) completing a Jedi Training Course, someone is bound to lose an eye
we have a serious dysfunction in the Anakin (aka Darth Vader) Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia family unit
Yoda Soda . . . a combination of sprite and lime sherbet will undoubtedly result in an undrinkable substance, so FORCE fizzy is our safe plan B

You ask, do I enter this challenge with a little fear and trepidation? Yes!

Is there a chance stress will get the better of me and I have ‘moments’ along the way? Absolutely!

Will I be completely shattered afterwards? That I can guarantee!

So WHY? Why embark on this quest?

Is it for the accolades, the oohs and ahhs that may come my way as the party unfolds?

I confess: I do like words of affirmation, appreciation and a pat on the back, who doesn’t? But, no my main motivation is that I would see the same look of amazement and wonder at the mere mention of such an event, and it would remain on Precious's face for the entirety of the party. That the photos and video footage will capture the essence of childhood imagination, their energy, and the camaraderie of 12 jedi knights in training to defeat Death Star.

But most of all, my hope is that memories will be created and stories will be told in times to come, of that one special day when Precious was “the Chosen One”, the hero for the day. When he was acknowledged for who he is, and celebrated for who he is becoming.

So the countdown is on, the clock is ticking ...

May the force be with ME!

image by Zeetz Jones