Today’s brilliant online dating interview is with Meg.

How long have you been trying online dating?

I’ve been using online dating sites for about two months with very mixed results.

What made you try online dating?

I’m a single mum and online dating looked like a good way of meeting new guys in my area. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

What made you try the dating site/s you chose?

I signed up for a few sites; I chose them because they were free. Many sites require you to sign up for a monthly fee then don’t have any people in my area or restrict features so you have to upgrade.

What features did you like about the dating site/s you used?

They all offer roughly the same services; as long as I can send and receive messages I’m happy.

How many dates have you gone on from online dating?

*names have been changed to protect the idiotic

I’ve met a couple of guys; *whiffle-ball and *Mr Brightside, both stand out for quite the wrong reasons.

I’d met whiffle-ball online and I’d liked him immediately, he was funny, sweet, kind and considerate, best of all he lived not far from me. He was a bit older than me and his profile picture wasn’t very flattering but I decided to go for it. After a week or two of chatting I took the plunge and asked him out to lunch, he agreed and a date was set.

We arranged to meet at my favourite restaurant. I arrived early and Whiffle-ball was late. We took a seat and ordered our lunch and he started talking, boy was he dull, he talked about his expensive car loudly and at great length for two hours. I didn’t get a word in edgeways the whole time. I don’t know whether he was nervous or just assumed that an expensive car would impress, (it doesn’t.) The best thing that could be said for the experience was that I got a very nice free lunch. We haven’t spoken since.

I met Mr Brightside in my local park as we both have dogs. He failed to mention that he was married, visually impaired, aged 50 plus, (not 39 as he claimed to be) and was a compulsive liar. He tried to message me a few times after that but I blocked him.

Have you had any odd experiences on the online dating sites?

I’ve met a lot of very odd people, I’m thinking about writing a novel about my experiences. The strangest so far are Mr Cross-Dresser and the Pervert.

Mr Cross-dresser was very sweet but he was not for me. He wanted a Dom (as in a sub/Dom.) I directed him to a specialised website and he messaged me to say he’d joined up, I presume he found what he needed as I’ve not heard from him since.

The Pervert was just that, we exchanged a few messages and then he sent me a list of the things he liked, some of which were illegal, most of which were ridiculous and some of which were quite revolting. I came to the conclusion that he was either 12 years old or had been watching far too much improbable internet porn.

I have been messaged by a lot of guys wanting to be my sub (submissive) or my slave or my naughty {insert whatever here} I have no idea why. I direct them, politely, to one of the more specialised websites which will cater to their specific kinks. It doesn’t bother me at all, in fact it makes me laugh, and it’s given me a fascinating insight into the male psyche.

Have you meet any one special?

No, well kind of, quite by accident I spotted a picture of an old friend on one of the dating sites, we’ve been bumping into each other a lot lately; he’s single and lives near me.

So can we say this is a ‘Happy Ending’?

I’m very happy that I’ve re-connected with my friend. As to online dating I’ll keep on looking around but my expectations are very, very low.

Lastly what advice would you give to anyone thinking about trying online dating?

I think this just about covers it, I wrote this as a blog post:

Dear men on dating sites,

Please to be writing English as she is spoken, me no understand text speak and I (first person singular) is always capitalised. It says quite clearly on my bio that I am a writer therefore I am very likely to have a pole up my bum about grammar and spelling.

I do not require a Sub or a Slave, nor do I want to be a sub or a slave, Fetlife is four doors down on the right, I also do not wish to be your naughty anything, again, Feltlife is four doors down on the right.

You’re married, engaged, in an open relationship? Great, now bugger off out of my inbox and go and buy your partner dinner and a bunch of flowers. You don’t deserve her and I don’t want you.

You’re 18 and able to provide some sexy fun *vomit* no, no you can’t, you know nothing about women (judging from your English and your garbled message) listen pal, you’re only few years older than my son, you’re a kid, go outside and play on your skateboard or play Black Ops or something, just get your track suited, spotty butt out of my inbox.

Go on, shoo, go, go out and play.

Yes, I am single for the 15th time of asking, with the caveat that I have a teenaged son (with all the problems that brings) and an ass-hat of an ex who lives not very far away and likes to make trouble. When all hell breaks lose I just can’t dump everything and be sexy, flirtatious, witty and gorgeous, when I feel like crud and my head is in pieces.

How long have you been trying online dating?

On and off for about 4 years.

What made you try online dating?

Working in a group of women coupled with moving to a new town and not knowing anyone.

What made you try the dating site/s you chose?

Word of mouth and hearing success stories from friends and acquaintances.

What features did like about the dating site/s you used?

I have tried 4 in the past – Guardian was the worst and cost some money. Plenty of Fish was OK and free(and I knew a few success stories) but didn’t work out for me. OK Cupid is another free site recommended by University friends and seems to attract those who are willing to chat rather than send rude messages. I am also giving Match.com a shot for 6 months.

 How many dates have you gone on from online dating?

Not many (I’m fussy) – 5 I think but there have been 1 or 2 that didn’t turn up.

Have you meet any one special?

Not yet – unless you count the few friends I have made.

So can we say this is a ‘Happy Ending’ ?

Wait and see. It hasn’t ended yet!

Lastly what one piece of advice would you give to anyone thinking about trying online dating?

Don’t waste too long chatting to someone if there is no mention of meeting up – they’re time wasters.

Now I am rethinking my own working set up as its seems to have stopped working. It was working ok when I first went self employed. I use to be very disciplined keeping to working hours ( well if to be truefull working a bit too much) but now my get up and go has run off with my botheration. I think I need a better routine to kick me back into a better working structure. I am lucky that my working hours can be what ever I want them to be i.e morning, evenings or even the dead of night , but lately I have found a new fascination in housework. Sorry I should have had a warning before I threw that statement at you as it is quiet shocking. It was only yesterday the lovely, expensive feather duvet was banished in favour of a synthetic duvet as I had enough of the unevenness the feathers were giving my newly made bed.

So what’s my plan? I think if I went to the full on routine my elderly neighbours had I would soon go around the bend. So i think I need a more kinder version of their routine. I need to set rules and chores for the children as its got that I am doing everything and that I am now realising is wrong. It doesn’t teach the children anything, it could turn them into spoilt children who think everything should always be done for them and they would never leave home. I don’t have to a fresh meal cooked and ready for them when they get in the door in fact I will drag out the slow cooker, look up some slow cooker recipes  and get that doing all the hard work. I will give myself set hours I can do the housework and anything that’s not done in that time frame can wait. I am pretty sure no one has died from carpets not being hovered every day.

I also want to get out more in the garden as last year not a single thing grew in the garden or  veg plot and I have been rather inspired by a friend who even has to-do lists for her garden. The weather is mainly to blame and we all know how upside down and all over the place it is so my working hours will remain flexible to accommodate sun days as there is something rather lovely about sitting in the evening sun with the netbook working whilst my legs slightly hurt form the long walk I have done and my nose feels slightly sunburnt from the afternoon walk too. ppsstt can someone get me another cider please?

I fail to see how experiments on mice mean this is the same for humans or how they know for sure that the mice were less intelligent without the aid of a time machine but nevertheless the article is out there. It’s angered some (me included) but also going on some of the comments on the articles supporting some peoples beliefs that single parents are bad.

Ideally children are brought up in the loving home of a two parent family. But this isn’t always the case. Some children lose their parents through bereavement. Some divorces are due to violence or volatile marriages so are in the children best interest. Some divorces are from parents not being happy or suited. Whatever the situation no one should be made to feel bad for the choices they have made.

My own children have been brought up by two single parents. They live half with me and then half with their Dad. When they are with their Dad they have his devoted time and spend it out and about doing lots of activities. When they are with me they have a more sedate quieter life. They are getting a balance from both of us. BUT because they are being brought up by two single parents there are a lot of things they are learning that some of their peers from two parent families aren’t learning.

They have had to learn to be organised –things like… having two homes means they have to make sure the right clothes, school books etc are at the right house. They have to plan what they want to wear and where they will be.

They have had to learn that money doesn’t grow on trees and they can’t have everything. – again unlike what the media tells everyone single parents are not rolling in money from all the benefits they get. Quite the opposite. My children have had to learn the meaning of money and that they can’t have everything.

They have learnt that you don’t have to be normal to get on. – My children have learnt that in life you can still be successful even if you’re not everyone’s else’s assumption of normal.

What I have learnt in the 10+ years of being a single parent is that whatever your situation be the best you can and hold your head high and ignore stupid reports like that of the Daily Mails.

The Daily Mails article is here

Q – Have you tried online dating before?

A – Yes. I had tried online dating several times in the past with other sites, with very limited success. I always thought it would be so easy – add details, search a bit, and my perfect man would appear, ready and willing to be the love of my life. It’s obviously not that simple and as the time went by, I became more disillusioned.

Q – What made you try it this time?

A – I’d not been a relationship for a couple of years, and had got my life sorted out where I was reasonably happy. I felt the time was right to start dating again. I lived in a fairly rural place, where potential partners where thin on the ground. So, I got back to the internet and looked around for dating sites once again. It’s always exciting at first, but this time I was more realistic of my chances. After a while of ‘shopping around’, I found ‘Only Dating’. I think what made me choose it over the more leading names, was the fact that it wasn’t as commercial as the others. I liked the fact that it was more personal. I decided to go for ‘year long’ full membership, but there were options of shorter membership, if required. I just thought I would give myself the best chance possible this time. I loved the fact that I could actually post a ‘Dating Diary’ of how my dating search was going. I also enjoyed reading others. A great insight into a person’s true character, in my opinion.

Q – Was the Only Dating site easy to use?

A – It was very easy to use. Straightforward, with good security and helpful hints in case I got stuck. If I had a problem, I could contact the friendly staff who would help as quickly as possible. It was also easy to keep my anonymity and privacy, which was a big plus.

Q – How many dates did you go on from the site?

A – I must admit to being very fussy when it came to finally going on dates, so not as many as you would imagine. But this was my choice – not anything lacking with the site. I think I got 3 nice ‘first’ dates and possibly a couple of ‘second’ dates, but those didn’t come to much. As I say, I’m way too fussy!

Q – Did you meet any one special?

A – I did actually! No one is more surprised than myself! It was getting near the end of my subscription with ‘Only Dating’ and I was really starting to give up hope of finding anyone suitable. Completely out of the blue one day, after having no messages for almost a week, he appeared in my inbox. I know that doesn’t happen like that for everyone, but it did for me. We got chatting via email and realised we had so much in common. We met after a few weeks of online chatting and we hit it off right away. We decided to stay just friends for a few months and take things really slowly. I’m so glad we did. We got to know each other properly before going into the very special relationship we have now.

Q – So can we say this is a ‘Happy Ending’ ?

A – Oh yes, I would say so. We are both seeing this relationship as long term. We couldn’t be any more happy.

Q – Lastly what one piece of advice would you give to anyone thinking about trying OnlyDating?

A – I’d advise those looking for a partner to join ‘OnlyDating’. Obviously I would say that as it worked for me and yes there are no guarantees, but why not give yourself the best chance possible. One thing I would always advise is once joined, keep positive. It’s not going to happen over night, but enjoy the wait. It could be the lead up to something life changing. Good luck!

This is Bon. She will be celebrating her 1st birthday later this week along with her sister Simba. Although the sisters were born from the same litter and have been brought up the same I doubt you could not get two cats so completely opposite to each other. In Bon’s defence she was the runt of the litter and will never be as big as her chunky sister but she has another uniqueness about her that just makes her her but also drives up completely up the wall. She’s forgetful. Well actually she is timid, shy and a complete scaredy cat too.

In the morning she looks at us all as if we just landed from mars. Big round eyes peer at me around the bathroom door as waits for her breakfast. She knows its breakfast time as her sister is doing a complete loop de loop of the house in excitement as Simba lives for her food. As Simba charges up and down and up and down the stairs and then runs from bowl to cupboard to bowl to cupboard, Bon hangs back as if to watch to see what happens next as she can’t quiet remember. If I try and stroke Bon at any point she ducks away and looks at you as if she really cant remember who you are or what strokes are all about.

Her morning is filled with sleeping till the hover disturbs her slumber. Not a fan of being outdoors she spends the afternoon watching the world from the back door. Strokes are still out of the question and if I go near her she runs off ears back to the safety of the dining table legs.

Tea time Bon starts to remember things. She remembers I am the one who feeds her so will try starring at me and communicating telepathic . When that fails she attempts a meow  This meow is about the only meow of the day and its starts in her tail and ends with her eyes screwed up as if she is the loudest biggest lion roaring. She really puts all her energy and all her mite into her meow. In reality I tiny squeak is all she can muster.

Tea time she has also remembered what strokes are and will let you stroke her. By evening she is hovering around my legs waiting for me to sit down so she can sit on my lap. As I put her on her blanket as I go to bed she is purring so loud I consider ear plugs. Bon is one happy cat.

In the morning we start all over again as I open my bedroom door and Bons face is full of surprise and ‘OMG who and what are you’

The day was filled with  nail and hair appointments for my daughter and her two friends. At last the most exciting bit arrived, putting the dress on. As I waited with the other mums all you could hear were excited squeals and giggling laughter and then three gorgeous girls sheepishly made their way into the room to a chorus of approvals.

They weather was forecasted fine with a small shower and right as they arrived at the venue the hailing began. It went on and on getting heavier and heavier but in good old British spirit we carried on regardless.

The prom and after party were all enjoyed and one very tired daughter returned the next day declaring it was all a success and she loved every minute.

If I look back to myself at my daughters age I had already left home. Not that I left middle of the school year but I was one of the youngest in my year and my daughter is one of the eldest.  I know only too well that life for my daughter will start to gain pace and she too will be complaining that life is going to fast. As a family the children and I haven’t had any holidays. They have had holidays with their Dad but I just haven’t been able to afford it. Maybe this year I should look into some cheap May Bank holiday breaks. Even if its a few days I think I should mark the ending of school and to spend some valuable time with them both before they both start dashing around. The last holiday I had with the children was when I was married and we went to Butlins. Oh now there’s a thought maybe we could visit Butlins this year. I would of course be all nostalgic and would keep telling the story of the last time we were there. My daughter must have been about 3 and my son was crawling age. We were in our chalet and I asked my husband to bring the baby to me in the bedroom to put him down to sleep. After a long silence I went into the lounge to see my husband looking around a little baffled with no baby. It was warm and sunny and the door was open. Bum high in the air crawling down the path was our son making his bid for freedom.

My ex-husband and I get on relatively well and we respect each other’s parenting decisions. We work on the rule that what goes on in one house is that parents rules and choices. I don’t criticize how he brings the children up when they are with him and him the same with me.

There is though a difference in how we each parent.  It can be things that I don’t mind in my house or maybe I am strict about but down their Dads it’s the opposite. I am not going to list all the little differences as this isn’t my two minutes to ‘get even’; it’s about the differences that add up to two sometimes confused children. It means that my two children are caught up in the middle. It’s not that either one of us is right either. The children of divorce try to please both parents and both parenting styles.

Now that I have realised how different my home and my ex’s home is I do know that I will try and understand how this affects my children.

My mum went back to work when I reached my early teens.  It didn’t hurt me anyway but it made me realise that I wanted to be around for my children, I didn’t want to be a full time working parent . It wasn’t till I was home more that I realised that children actually need their parents all the way through the childhood and not just when they are very young as I previously thought. The children might not openly admit they want their parents around more but to me there is something reassuring about a parent being home when they come in from school.

So…should they be doing chores or enjoying their childhood?

As a parent I am use to most things being my fault. If it rains, according to my teen, its my fault. If they miss their tv programme , again its my fault. If tea is ‘awful’ its my fault, ok maybe that one is, but you get the jist of it. As well as all that most things in the economic climate, at some point, gets blamed on the single parents of the world. Its our fault the benefits system is in the state its in apparently.

Well for once someone, Jon, has stood up and said hang on these are the figures. So it seems single parents aren’t actually to blame for everything, just awful food in my case. I will add all charts below but a big thank you to Jon for having the guts to shout about it and for very kindly sent me the pie chart and a few other charts for me to put on confessions of a single mum.  Do pop along and read his full rant, its here. And if you want to check his figures knock yourself out here 

Welfare spending 2011/12.

As the weeks went by ideas were thought up. The dress was rather plan but that is part of its beauty. But just like all girls my daughter wanted a some bling on it, quiet understandably too.  Now its been a fair few years since I have made wedding dresses so I had to research that bit. Apparently these day gems are glued on. So much quicker and cheaper then hand sewing them on. The proper glue was bought and 100 gems ordered ready for after the dress was altered.

Finally the ball got close enough for me to tackle the alterations. I didn’t want to do them too early just in case my daughter put on or lost any weight. Now in my time as a seamstress I have made curtains with swags and tails that cost in the thousands. I have made pink wedding dresses, gold wedding dresses and oddles of cute little bridesmaids dresses. I’ve made waistcoats and bow ties for teddy bears and even bags, hats and clothes for myself. None of it has really fazed me at all. But when it came to altering my daughters ball dress I was a bag of nerves. To say I was relieved when it was over is a understatement to say the least. Then came the fun bit, the gems. It soon became obvious 100 gems really wasn’t going to give the bling affect we were after. 400 more were ordered and I set to it. 500 gems later the dress is now suitably blinged.

The shoes and bag have been bought. Hairdresser organised and few other things too. I think I can safely say we are ready. I will of course post a picture of my daughter on the red carpet. It’s only seems like yesterday she was a babe in arms.

Dating in the infant class was much the same as nursery. It was as quick, as fickle and as cute.

Dating in the juniors was where it got more serious. Smiles were replaced with notes asking him out. He would dither whilst he worked out his options. I quickly learnt that the girls who brought packed lunch and had an extra chocolate bar in their lunches got the more boyfriends.

Dating in primary school was where it got awkward and hard work. Hormones raced around bodies at different rates and no two days were the same mood. How any one put up with me as a moody teenager I will never understand? Oh yeah that’s right …they didn’t.

Dating in early adult life was when you thought you knew it all. There were no stresses of life and everything in our lives was centred on finding the one.  Work or college was just the boring thing you did in the daytime and all you lived for was the weekend. Finding someone was relatively easy – pubs and clubs were the places to be: full to the brim they were.

That for some was the start of their happy ever after, but as we know life doesn’t always work the way we think it will. There are divorces, those who never found the one and not had their happy ever afters. This brings us a new category of daters, the ‘later daters’. There is nothing wrong with the later daters, they’re just the same as the all the other daters looking for love. It’s just they may have been through a divorce, a bereavement or they may have children (complete with ex husbands/wives). Dating for the later daters isn’t an easy path. There aren’t suddenly extra hours in the day; all the housework, jobs and children still need full attention. Even the pub/club scene has changed. People don’t seem to go to them as much now there are smoking bans and money is tight. Not to mention most of your same aged friends are probably all coupled up and not wanting to trawl through endless pubs hoping you find the one.  When you’re a later dater looking for another later dater is like looking for that needle in the haystack.

Thankfully there is hope, there is online dating, through easy to use sites such as eHarmony UK. In our modern day time is short, time is precious. We do everything by the modern convenience of all time, the computer. We buy everything from books to weekly groceries via the computer. We can speak to long last Great Aunt Whatshername living miles away and we can fill out a form and find out who would suit us and could be our own happy ever after. It’s never too late to find love, and if you want to start your own love story, click here to start connecting with other like-minded ‘later daters’.

There is a a new fast food restaurant in our town. Well I use the term restaurant rather loosely. Children are regularly being taught its perfectly fine to eat the majority of their meals with their fingers. I do understand that there are certain foods where a knife and fork is out of the question but we are then surprised when out at a restaurant, a proper one, the then child has no clue how to behave let alone use a knife and fork in the correct manner. I’m not wanting or expecting the complete opposite and for all children to be brought up using the finest Robert Welch cutlery to eat their peas. But children only learn from what they are taught and its us parents who are doing the teaching.

I find myself sitting on my hands in the various waiting rooms I have to frequent. The doctors, dentist, orthodontist, vets ……I think my life is a series of waiting rooms. I fear if I don’t sit on my hands I would get up and tell the parent that their child’s behaviour isn’t acceptable behaviour and could they please stop their child from screaming or hitting me in the chins with its toy as I am not finding it remotely cute. I know parenting is hard and the parent is probably knackered beyond sensible levels but unless they correct or actually see the behaviour then the child is always going think its ok.

In the modern day where benefits are being cut, jobs scarce and money is very tight there is something we all can do that’s free and could make you different to the next person.  Manners. I was dragged up on more manners than hot meals. My mother installed in me at a very early age my please and thank you’s and all the other manners  but her most crucial teaching was that of respect for elders. Now I am …..do I really have to say it …..an elder I look around and see life is ..well in a sad state of affairs as my Gran would say.

I look up and down the generations and I see the decline in each generation. Hopefully I have installed enough of my parents values into my children that they can pass it on to their children.

My theory is that if I can turn my back on alcohol ( not that I drank a lot ) many years ago and not miss it, give up meat and not pine for it and switch to decaffeinated coffee easily my thinking is that giving up chocolate should be easy as pie. I have never tried giving up chocolate before so I am unsure how its going to go but at least I have made the first step. And by saying it on here too I can hardly hide from it and will give you all updates.

Roll on several years and several attempted stuff sorting it was time to readdress the situation again. My daughter originally had the tiny room with cabin bed but when here feet started to dangle over the edge she finally got her brother to swap rooms. So now my sons feet were making their way fast to the edge and the cabin bed had to go. Now I am not to sure what happened between deciding to get rid of the cabin bed and the present day but somehow I have changed his bed, my daughters bed and the lounge. This is no small feat by the way.

It started last week with the email saying the beds would be arriving Tuesday and Wednesday. Beds were dismantled ….. this deserves a round of applause as the cabin bed had to be made in situ and I didn’t see it being made so had no clue in which order to dismantle it. All the unwanted toys and rubbish were bagged up and dismantled beds taken up to the garage. Recyclable stuff was put in the recycle bins and the dvds put aside for boxing up as I was selling the dvds for cash.  The next morning while waiting for one of the beds I had the urge to attack the lounge. In my lounge I had dining table, 2 sofas, tv , computer desk ( my office) and craft desk….or other words too much stuff. One desk removed and all my craft stuff reorganised and put away in a cupboard ( which meant sorting that cupboard first) . Beds and book cases arrived and were put together. It all sounds so easy and breeze like as I type and I have completely glossed over the hysterical moment I decided single handily to take the new divan bed upstairs. but it started this time last week and today I finished sorting the last few boxes.

The result is my son has a grown up room, my daughter has a lovely new bed and the lounge is looking more organised …..well for the time being it is. Just got to save up for the new table and chairs now.

Things all changed this year when the local councils were given the job of setting their own rules for council tax and all told to make a saving as there is 10% less funding for council tax support. ( Note -that’s 10% less funding) Councils had to have a council tax reduction scheme in place by 31 Jan 2013 and to start it in April 2013.

Some council have made no change and absorbed the entire funding cut into their own council budget. Meaning if you were/are entitled to 100% council tax support you still get 100% support.

Some councils have decided to pass on the funding cut to the residents. Meaning if you were/are entitled to 100% council tax support, this year you would have to pay a % of the bill, so may be 5% or 10%.

My council has decided that instead of 100% support I now get 75%. I haven’t earned anymore this year, the bill total hasn’t gone up, I haven’t received any more in benefits BUT I can apparently suddenly afford £210 a year. The thing I really have a problem with, as well as why my council decides on 25% when others decide on 0% – 10%, is the no warning bit. The letter arrives today and as from 2 weeks time I have to pay council tax. No warning, no letter from my council, nothing. And paying your council tax bill is considered an import bill as the consequences of not paying the bill can be high. Instead I had to ring up and ask why they hadn’t sent letters to warn people that they had voted on residents paying 25% where as other councils voted on 10% or to absorb it all. All I had was some council bloke on the phone say ‘well it’s been in the news’.

At the moment single parents are exempt from rules that provide people under the age of 25 a lower rate of support. Universal Credit will remove this exemption. Meaning 240,000 young parents will lose around £780 a year. Even the governments own figures show that the changes to support  for all parents under 25 will result in 100,000 more children being pushed into poverty.

A further 25,000 disabled single parents will also lose out with the abolition of the severe disability premium. Severely disabled single parents – many of whom rely on their children to provide care for them – could lose more than £3,000 a year.

You can read more on this and Gingerbread and The Children’s Trust comments at Turn2Us

How it will work

• Parents will be able to open an online voucher account with a voucher provider and have their payments topped up by government.
• For every 80p families pay in, the government will put in 20p up to the annual limit on costs for each child of £1,200.
• Parents will be able to use the vouchers for any Ofsted regulated childcare in England and the equivalent bodies in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
• The scheme will initially only be open to pay for children under five but will eventually include all children aged under 12 years
• The scheme is expected to benefit 2.5 million families.
• Parents using the existing childcare voucher system will be able to continue using that scheme instead
• Full details of the new scheme will be proposed in a consultation before being finalised.

David Cameron said this new measure was “a boost direct to the pockets of hardworking families in…one of the biggest measures ever introduced to help parents with childcare costs.”

However some critics  were concerned that the extra support would go to parents in the top half of the qualifying income range.

HMRC say that the new service will provide expert advisors on the phone who are trained to deal with people who need extra support and they will help a caller until the issue is resolved. The new service will also provide mobile, on to one support in a range of locations, including a person’s home or business.

A five month pilot to test these new services will run in the North East of England from 3^rd June 2013 to 31 October 2013. The Enquiry centres that will be closed in the pilot are

• Alnwick
• Bishop Auckland
• Hexham
• Darlington
• Durham
• Middlesbrough
• Morpeth
• Newcastle
• Scarborough
• Stockton
• Sunderland
• York

You can also read more about the changes at Gov.uk

Get basic with drinks

Whilst it has the image of being the drink of choice for the hard-pushed exec, strong black coffee is actually healthier than the more popular coffee with milk and sugar. Opt for a stronger Italian or African flavoured brand and try drinking straight black – adding water if need be to thin the flavour. The same goes for tea: both these drinks have a diuretic effect: they flush toxins out of your body and kick start your metabolism: drink a cup or two a day and you’ll soon feel a difference

Make mornings work for you

Always feel rushed in the mornings? That’s because your brain isn’t fully active yet, so everything feel’s complex. Wake up ten minutes earlier and read a magazine or a few pages of a favourite book in bed: you’ll find that all of a sudden you remember where the keys are and that you need to deliver that letter today.

Get into hygiene

We’ve got every confidence that you’re fairly expert with when you should shower or groom – but changing it up a little can really transform how you feel: go for a bright, citrus-like shower gel and invest in some serious oral gear: Phillips Sonicare have a range of toothbrushes that will re-invigorate that morning fresh feel that helps kick start your day.

Walk

You don’t need to pound six miles of pavement every day to feel better: go for a brisk ten minute walk during your lunch break and make it a point to think of something other than work – you’ll find you return to your desk feeling new and ready.

A healthy lifestyle change is a big commitment that takes time. Try these little changes as a starting point – you’ll soon find that those long term projects start to feel easier.

The first was whilst wasting some time in town I found myself in a clothes shop. Nothing new there I guess but I found myself drawn to the colours navy. Now the last time I wore navy was when I was a shop assistant and our uniforms were navy and I swore I would never wear navy again when all the ‘older’ assistants oohhed and ahhed over the navy uniforms. We didn’t have boring, unflattering yukky polyester uniforms, we were supplied a blouse and then we could have whatever else we wanted with it as long as it was navy. So in my impressionable late teens I was put off navy and it was marked in my head as old. But there I was holding a navy and cream jumper and navy cardigan. Even typing it I am cringing at the sound of it but honestly it doesn’t look that old ( well I don’t think it does) . BUT is this  me being old or just showing my wisdom at picking colours that make me feel confident?

The second thing was when I was in the book shop picking up canvases for the teens art homework, a book on grammar caught my eye. Grammar for Grown-ups to be exact. On my book shelf I do have a complete set of Penguin books that cover all sorts of englishly/writey things but they have baffled me from the start. I never paid enough attention at school and its only now I am bothered that I am not confident where an apostrophe goes. Up till now I didn’t care two hoots how to use a semicolon but now I am bothered that I don’t know. I should know these things, I should have learnt these things and I am trying to catch up . BUT again is this my age creeping in or me being wise ?

1. Be affectionate. Studies show that children who receive affection from both parents fare better in school after a divorce than those who don’t. Although going through the break up of a marriage is very much about your feelings as a newly single parent, it’s important to make your child feel loved so that he or she have some stability to hold on to.

2. Rally your family and friends. The old adage “It takes a village to raise a child” has always been true, but it will be especially applicable now that you are a single mum. It’s best to recognise upfront that you can’t do it all by yourself, even if you want to. Talk to extended family members or close friends, and even the child’s teachers, to build a “village” of people who all have your child’s best interest in mind and whom you know you can count on.

3. Make a plan with your ex-spouse. This will be key to relieving any sort of tension between the two of you, but more importantly, it will ensure that your child can spend ample time with both parents. Try to work out a schedule for when your child can see the other parent, as well as logistics like transportation, homework and holidays. If you both approach the task with an eagerness to make this new arrangement work, you could avoid having to ask for any more divorce help from your solicitors.

4. Re-work your finances. Your family structure won’t be the only thing that’s changing as you adjust to the single mum life. You should take care to make sure any joint accounts that you had with your ex are dissolved so that you don’t incur debt without knowing it. You should also work out an agreement for child support to make sure you’re both sharing in the financial responsibility of raising a child. Beyond these two steps, another helpful action is to create a new budget on yourself based on your modified income. And remember to keep communicating with your ex about matters such as insurance, costly school trips and extracurricular activity fees for your child.

5. Give yourself a break. Once they find their footing as a single adult, many mums then go through a phase in which they feel guilty about moving on with their lives. Remember, you are a single mum, but you are also a person in your own right. It’s not only okay but it’s necessary for you to have “me” time, so don’t hesitate to call on some of those family members or friends to take the kids off of your hands every now and then.

Painting the one red in my bedroom has made a massive change. I changed the bedding to elegant Egyptian cotton white and got rid of all the clutter. My bedroom now looks posh. Now I want to do the rest of the house. So now I am composing my lounge wish list …( my lounge is one large room that triples up as lounge, dining room and office)

A new dining table is a must. I inherited a very good table and chairs from my parents years and years ago. So good it will be hard to find anything as useful in my price bracket but it’s got to go. In its life time it’s been a base for a camp for me as a child and then both my children too. The chairs have been step ladders to all things over 6 feet tall and display an impressive range of paint splatters. It’s looking tired and tatty and I am dreaming of leather chairs that are comfortable and a big sturdy table.  All to be matching of course.

I want a chandelier or the modern equivalent. It’s all very well having spotlights to light up the various areas but I want to change the mood with ceiling lights, I want decadence and grown-upness.  I want the twinkling of lights that scream “I’m a grown up” instead of “I’m practical and boring”. I no longer have to have plastic fantastic everywhere to hide oodles of kid’s toys. I can have a coffee table that does what it’s supposed to do, take the weight off my coffee mug. A posh coffee mug not some slogan festooned mug that use to be in some office somewhere.

Lastly I want a colour scheme that says my children no longer run around with felt tip pens (actually that’s more likely to be me) but that they can actually sit and hold a conversation if the mood takes them. A colour scheme that says my life is taking a new and exciting turn. No longer am I whipping noses but praising GSCE grades. I want to sit and enjoy my surroundings. I have arrived at adulthood and I arrived in style.

Traits

Confidence – not only do you need all round confidence but also confidence in your product or idea. Often its self-belief that holds people back so believe in what you’re doing and your already one step ahead of those with less self-belief. Having a good business plan will help you have confidence in your plan and what you’re doing.

Commitment – In the early days it’s easy to say you’re committed but what about 6 months down the line when you’re running on less sleep, your making personal sacrifices and working long hours. Will you still be committed then and until your business is up and running?

Initiative – When you work for someone else you have them telling you what to do and when. They are constantly there to push you and for you to turn to. When you’re self-employed it’s often just your own initiative motivating you.

Determination – There will be times when things go wrong or the road is less than smooth. Will you have the determination to dust yourself off and get on with it?

Skills

Financial Skills – for most this is the scary one. If you’re financial skills are less than desirable you can either take a business course on finances or if your funds allow outsource. Doing it yourself would be the better option so that you understand your business inside and out and is normally the most cost effective.

Marketing and PR Skills – you could have the best idea ever but if you don’t know how to get it out there it will only ever be an idea. Again you could outsource this but at the beginning the most cost effective way is to read up on it and learn yourself. You can always outsource when you’re more established.

There are other things to consider but if you nodding and saying I can do that to all those few starter ones above then you’re on to a good start. I will going over the skills in more detail soon .

Spot the orange spot in the middle of the tree? My son

Daft really as I love the outdoors. The sun warming my skin, the smell of grass and mud, the quietness of nature.  I confess I am more of a fair weather  outdoor lover though. Even my parents went on a camping holiday for their golden wedding anniversary so holidaying is in me somewhere   But soon as it warms up the doors are flung open, windows wide open and fresh air is enjoyed. One of the problems with living in the countryside is I havent had a holiday in years. I sort of think why save up for a holiday when I live in such a lovely place. But then I dont actually stop and enjoy the lovely place.

No I dont enjoy having my photo taken

But fear not I have a plan. I am quietly squireling away money each month and I recently came across this great offer . As soon as I have saved up enough I am going to drag the family away. No its not abroad so its just a car journey up the road …and a bit further..and no waiting around at an airport and all that faffing around. I am wanting somewhere that’s in the countryside as I am hoping it will kick start my interest in my own countryside when we get back. I want us to do lots of walking in lovely clean countryside and lazy evenings of reading around a outside fire pit. I want to have at least one traditional countryside holiday with my children before they go off and conquer the world and discover bear, wine and the opposite sex.I want to create a memory.

in association with Regional-Cottages.co.uk

I asked her the other day if she thought I needed to lose weight. No she said. I asked if she thought I was fat, no she said. She agreed with me that I had put on some weight but she said she thought that was due to my illness, which I guess she is right. I can’t do lots of exercise; there are days I can’t do much of at all. I was worried my daughter saw me wanting to lose weight and I was portraying a bad weight image to her. I am not exactly huge. I use to be a size 8 or 10 and now I am 12 or 14. Without all the facts that could have a damaging effects on a growing teenager.

Why was I trying to lose weight? Because I have had years of different Medias telling me slim is the only way to go, slim is happiness. Now that I am not slim I don’t know how to handle it. But I got to remember I am older, my body doesn’t work like it used to. It’s not my body I need to change as I am probably the healthiest I have ever been, but it’s my thinking I have to change.

Keeping track of finances

Self-employed individuals often find it difficult to keep track of their finances. Incoming payments can be unpredictable and coping with admin work, such as issuing invoices and following them up, can be incredibly time consuming. Some self-employed people also report that big businesses tend to lack respect when paying and using contractors and freelancers, often delaying payments or making unreasonable demands. Facing this alone can be a difficult and lonely experience.

Umbrella companies

One way to take some of the hassle out of being self-employed is to take advantage of the services offered by an umbrella company. These organisations will take care of tax, finance and admin issues. The companies effectively take on self-employed individuals and contractors on temporary contracts, meaning they receive a great range of benefits. It’s essential that individuals choose a company that can offer ir35 compliant payment practices, to ensure that they comply with the tax law.

One of the biggest challenges self-employed individuals face is their own fluctuating income. The amount of money they receive can often vary dramatically depending on the amount of work completed each month. One popular way to deal with this is to think about income in terms of a percentage. As an example, a work-at-home-mum may need to spend money on rent, food, baby care products and leisure activities. Giving each of these areas a percentage, such as 20% each, means the mother is easily able to manage when the budget fluctuates, and doesn’t spend too much in one specific area.

It’s also a good idea to save money at times when the individual is completing a large amount of work, as this can then be used to plug the gaps when jobs are harder to come by. Opening a separate bank account and transferring a percentage of earnings into it each month will ensure money is always being saved for later life, holidays and emergencies. It also removes the temptation to spend more than necessary when earnings increase.

Tax

It’s key to think carefully about tax when managing finances. Taxes are not deducted automatically from the payments that self-employed individuals receive, so it’s important to keep a certain amount of money separate to compensate. This prevents people overspending because they’ve forgotten about tax payments. Making a note of key tax deadlines is a good idea, as the penalties for missing these can be extensive. An umbrella company can help with the organisation and management of tax affairs to remove this burden from someone who just wants to get on with the important job of earning the money.

Managing finances is part of life as a self-employed individual. Self-employment is an especially attractive option for mothers who want to keep earning money while looking after children at home. All self-employed individuals can greatly increase the ease with which they operate by using an umbrella company to help with their finances and tax commitments.

Windows and skylights

The obvious way to allow more sunlight to enter is to install larger south facing windows and some skylights in the home.  This is a bit drastic of course and could be extremely expensive, however, if the design of the house is such that a skylight could be fitted without major structural work being required it is worth considering.  The difference that a skylight can make to the amount of light entering a room is very marked.  If the budget won’t stretch that far it’s worth knowing how to get the most out of the windows that are already present.

Keep the windows clean

One of the simplest ways to maximise the amount of light that can enter is simply to keep the window glass sparkling clean; this makes a real difference. Checking to see if anything is obstructing the light or is casting a shadow is also sensible. Often, something like a large garden tree may be the culprit. In this situation it’s worth considering how much of a difference felling the tree or clearing some large shrubs would make.

Mirrors

Mirrors can be used to take full advantage of the light that is already entering a room. Placing one on the wall opposite the window will be most effective, as this will ensure the natural light is reflected into every dark corner of the room.

Decorating

Walls painted in dull and dark colours will make a room look smaller, and in extreme cases can make it seem cave like. Painting rooms in a bright and breezy white, cream or yellow hue will ensure the room feels open and unrestricted. Choosing curtains that can easily be pulled right back, so as not to obstruct the sunlight passing through the windows, can also be very effective.

Wooden shutters

Of course, there are times when the full power of the sun can make rooms unbearably hot. Having the facility to close out the light and heat during these periods is incredibly useful. Wooden shutters provide individuals with a stylish way to control the amount of light that can enter a room.

As well as making a room appear larger and more appealing, natural light also has important health benefits for the human body and mind. Its absorption helps the skin to generate vitamin D, which is vital for good health, and exposure to sunlight has been shown to reduce the likelihood of the onset of depression and the debilitating condition known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

The first is that ‘cheap’ does not necessarily mean the alternative with the lowest upfront cost. In the long run one has to take into account the durability of the product and its maintenance cost over many years.

Secondly: cheap does not have to mean inferior. There are many products on the market that look beautiful and expensive, yet they are remarkably affordable.

Roof

Take the roof of a house, for example. One can replicate the rich texture of slate or the rustic appearance of cedar with artificial products such as asphalt shingles. Apart from lower cost, another benefit of this option is that maintenance costs in the long run will be lower. An interesting option is to go for different shades of the same colour to create a more interesting-looking roof.

Kitchen

When it comes to the kitchen remember that units with melamine formaldehyde and VOCs are susceptible to moisture damage and heat. Solid wood cabinets not only look beautiful, but they are more durable and provide for better air quality in the home.

Kitchen surfaces should above all be durable and resistant to cuts from knives, from heat and moisture. Also ensure the kitchen is properly ventilated to prevent costly rot and mould.

Saving power and water

While energy efficient washing machines and dishwashers might cost slightly more initially, the electricity savings they produce in the long run should more than justify the higher upfront expense. Another important point is not to install freezers and fridges too close to appliances that generate heat, e.g. stoves.

In the bathroom go for dual flush toilets. They use up to 75% less water per flush and can cut the household water usage by thousands of litres of water per year. Low flow showerheads will similarly reduce water usage from about 14 litres per minute to around 6 litres per minute – with a significant cost saving over time.

Floor coverings

As far as carpets are concerned, remember that high traffic areas need a different approach than areas with little footfall. Cheaper products are a bad choice for a busy passage as wear will quickly become apparent. Rather opt for natural material, such as wool, which should last a very long time – especially if one puts a pad under it so it doesn’t wear out from the bottom.

Carpet tiles made from nylon are also a good choice for a busy area. These tiles are virtually indestructible and it is very easy to keep them clean. They are therefore also a great choice for children’s rooms or if you have pets in the house.

Furniture

Furniture is another area where cheap does not necessarily mean saving money. Natural materials are always a good choice. Good quality solid wooden furniture, such as the kind of furniture one sees at Furniture Village, may initially cost a little bit more but will last a lifetime. A leather lounge suite will outlast most synthetic alternatives if cared for properly – and it’s very easy to keep clean.

With all this ‘life speeding’ stuff going on, I have a few requests or birthday wishes that if some fairy godmother could just wave her magic wand over, would make things so much easier.

I wish that when I wake up in the morning, it being my birthday and all that, I would really like it if the fairies have been in overnight and put that box of hair dye that’s been sat in the bathroom cabinet for the last 6 months on my head and covered the grey. Whilst the fairies are doing their thing, could they make my hair another 6 inches longer? Actually best make it 10 inches longer. I am getting bored of waiting for it to grow.

Could the lovely fairies also do a bit of a wardrobe sort? I really need a complete wardrobe overhaul and for it to be full of lovely clothes that fit and suit me.

Talking of clothes fitting, could the fairies chuck a load of their magic fairy dust over me and melt away the 1 and ½ stone I want to lose. I am seriously getting pissed off with 3lbs off, 3 lbs on, 3 lbs off, 3lbs on. It’s getting boring and predictable. I think the only thing I have left to give up is food and I really don’t want to do that.

Lastly if the fairies have any time and magic dust left they could do with a quick sprinkle around the house. Its tidyish but I really could do with some new furniture as some of it is starting to look more weathered than me. I know shabby chic is all the rage but either I or the furniture seems to be carrying it off too well.

I occasionally indulge in a glass of wine, but I can’t have more than that because if one of my little ones falls ill at night, I need to be on the ball. There have been times when my ‘me time’ has been interrupted by the kids – one time, I was trying to have a bath when the kids burst in and hurled some toys into the water!

Me Time

Thankfully, I had a good excuse to let my hair down last week when one of my best friends had a birthday do. It was a small affair – at her home, a few bottles of wine and six of our closest mates.

I don’t go out too much, because even when the kids are with their dad I find it hard to get things done. I used to think I was getting old and fuddy-duddy because I simply could not be bothered to go out when my girlfriends invited me to a night out on the town.

In or out?

I did a bit of online research on the subject and found that a recent survey from ladbrokes bingo stated some interesting facts.

Apparently, in London girls were vocal about what they didn’t like about going out. 40% said getting a drink dropped on their clothes was the worst. Another 40% said they didn’t like queues to get into nightclubs or buy a drink at the bar.

When asked why a night in with the girls is so appealing, 203 girls said no lines for the loo! I personally think making my own cocktails without paying too much is great, 30% agreeing.

Fun at home

I’d always choose a night in with the girls over a night on the town, but maybe I’m just getting old? 51% thought that there comes an age when staying in gets more appealing.

I like to get the girls in for wine and gossip, especially now I’m always so frazzled from looking after the kids. In fact, since the kids have gone to their dad’s, I might get a couple of bottles in!

Fast forward a few weeks and they are still both cautious of the outside world and loo time is still happening in the dirt tray. Or rather Simba is using the dirt tray, Bon is doing a hover on the edge and miss the dirt tray thing. And then there is the game of who can flick the cat litter the furthest. It should be an Olympic sport and my two cats would up for gold.

So few more weeks go by and the outside world is getting less scary, well according to Simba its rather cool out there. Annoyingly it’s the dirt tray hoverer Bon who is still scared of the outside. And then I had a thought. All this is stressing Bon right out. She is a sensitive little thing as she was the runt of the litter. Plus its stressing me out. I am not going to get Bon happily and willingly outside and let alone going loo outside. So the next best thing was to change the dirt tray for one of those covered dirt trays with a door flap.

OMG why on earth didn’t I get one of these things at the beginning? No more edge hovering and missing and no more dirt being flung half way up the hall. And it has a little carbon filter that stops all the smells.

So now we have the spaceship and both Simba and Bon are happily using it. Simba goes in and out the garden happy as larry and Bon sits at the door stop and watching. Life once more is stress free .

Glow in the Dark Silly Putty

Image via Flickr by VCmonk

To make your own glow in the dark putty, all you need is glow in the dark paint, glue, and corn starch. Once you have the three mixed together into a consistency you like, you can try a little online shopping for fun stuff you can put on your glowing putty and to light it up with an eerie fluorescence.

Colored Sand Collage

Image via Flickr by romanlily

To make a colored sand collage, all you need is some white and clear Con-Tact paper, some colored sand you can get at any craft store, and some salt shakers or other containers with small holes. If you want, you can even use a small, empty, washed out juice bottle with a few holes poked into it. You can slow the amount of sand that comes out of your salt shakers with tape if you like.

Just put the white Con-Tact paper on some construction or other paper (which can become a frame) and let your child have at it. When she’s done, you can preserve the design by putting some clear Con-Tact paper over its top.

Homemade Rock Candy

Image via Flickr by dionhinchcliffe

You can easily “grow” your own rock candy. All you need is some wooden sticks, lots of sugar, food coloring, and your flavoring of choice. Just mix the sugar, flavoring, and water in a pot until you have a very thick mixture, bring it to a simmer, and then add the mix you prepared and the food coloring to jars. You can then use clothes pins at each jar’s rim to suspend your sticks so that they are held in the jars but don’t touch the sides or bottoms.

Place your jars in a sunny spot for about a week and you’ll see your rock candy grow into a tasty treat. You can get your candy to attach better to its stick by wetting the stick and rolling it in sugar then letting it dry beforehand.

Soap Bubble Prints

Image via Flickr by film is not dead

Make some bubble solution with three cups of water, one cup of dish soap, and 1/4 cup of corn syrup. Then add in tempera paint and place it all in a shallow, disposable pan. Hand your child a straw and have them blow big bubbles. From there your child can touch a piece of paper to the bubbles and come back with a unique print. Your child can layer different colors on top of each other to make some very complex designs.

You might also experiment with using different paper. Watercolor paper has a great texture and copier paper is nice and smooth, but any kind of paper can provide an interesting visual effect.

Craft projects don’t have to be expensive or dangerous. In fact, a lot of the time they’re serious fun.

The scary thing about all this is that this is what is yet to come for all of us. Luckily Mother has Father at home to run around and look after her; though I did hear reports he had bought her a large pair of marigolds. I am not even going to ask. But when we all get into that glorious age bracket they call ‘elderly’ what help can we hope or expect to get? The only elderly people I knew were my father’s parents, my Grandparents. There were no mod cons to help them on a day to day basis. There was the infamous walking stick that doubled up as some many other things and the rail by the bath but that is all the help I can remember them having.

Father has started tweaking their home already. They have the ‘him and hers’ walking sticks already. Sadly they won’t be having a stair lift like this as they live in a bungalow; I was soo looking forward to playing with that one. They recently had fitted a contraption that helps mother in and out of the bath as she insists showers aren’t natural. Looks rather odd but she is happy so it must be doing the job. And I dread they day they purchase his and hers mobility scooters. I shudder at the thought but I promise I will give everyone fair warning when that day comes.

Through rose tinted glasses my day goes something like …….to the glorious aroma of coffee I wave my children off to school as I slip into my chair at my impeccably tidy desk. I make a few calls to customers and before I know it lunch time has crept on me. A freshly made sandwich sets me up for the afternoon. I work through the sign offs on jobs and then mark off the customers who eagerly paid me on time. I just have time to organise the work for the next day before the kids come home from school just after 3pm and I switch my computer off for the night, giving me the rest of the day with the children.

Now take off those rose tinted glasses and my day is very much different. I am normally found cleaning out the cat’s dirt tray, in my dressing gown, as the children leave for school. Getting dressed quickly and chucking dirty washing as I go, my next stop is my desk. My desk is normally hiding under various school books, my own books and lots of paper. I don’t have the luxury of having my own office or even a tiny room to call an office. Instead I have a desk in the corner of the lounge. It’s not ideal as when I am supposedly relaxing on the sofa I can see me desk. Its constantly reminding what needs doing and far too easy to jump on the computer in the adverts…..never to be seen again till the wee small hours. My mornings are first filled with calls, emails, work and cats jumping up on the desk at the wrong times. Then late mornings are when I do all my running around, be it for the kids, my work or shopping. The afternoons are when I am supposed to rest ( I have M.E) but I am normally still at my desk.  Kids come in through the door at 3 and I do try to stop work for a few hours. At around 7pm I am normally found back at my desk or on my netbook on the sofa. There can be days when the kids are at their dads that the only thing I talk to are the cats, and the whole time I am working, on my own.

One thing I am getting better at and that’s defining weekends. When I first started out, the weekends merged into the week and weeks merged into months. Now I try not to do any work at the weekends. I must admit that sliding into my old ways is far too easy when everything stops with me. If I don’t get it done, it doesn’t get done. Customers don’t disappear at weekends, they still have questions or want things done. It’s a very fine line between being motivated enough and being a workaholic.

In the next post I will be going over the main attributes needed to be self-employed.

The other myth I completely dispel is the money one. It’s a common misbelief that single parents get money thrown at them. So not only are we supposedly sitting on arses all day in shell suits but we have huge flat screen tvs and all the gadgets. Again I fit the image as I have the grand sum of 1.27 left in my current accounts. Oh and though I have a flat screen tv it’s not huge and took ages to save up for from my earnings.

Although I have £1.27 in my bank I’m not worried. If you would be worried, you need keep better track of your current accounts. Easier said than done but once you get into the practice of checking you account it soon becomes second nature. So why I am not worried and how do I manage on tight purse strings?

I’m not worried because I know when all the bills are due to go out and what payments are coming in and when. So although I have a piddly sum in my bank account I also know there are no bills due till more money goes into my account.

First make sure you are getting all the allowances you are entitled to. Tax credits and child benefit can be paid weekly if that helps. You just need to call up and request it to be paid weekly.

Write everything down that you have to pay out and have coming in each month. Yes its boring and depressing but you can’t manage on a budget if you don’t know your budget. The idea is that you know when every payment is due to go out and you have enough money in the account.

If you do not have enough money to cover all your outgoings don’t ignore it. Look through your outgoings and see what can be reduced. Few examples; I switched to an electric meter as seeing your money going down was the fastest way for me to stop wasting electricity. I stopped using a tumble dryer, yes it’s a pain hanging the washing on a dryer but it drastically reduced my usage. The other thing I saved money on is the food shop. I also work out how much the shopping will cost and take just that amount of money with me. Can’t spend what I haven’t got and I don’t go over my food budget. Plus there is something about dealing in cash that reminds you you’re on a budget and helps you not spend so much.

Have a bank account that handles all your direct debits and bills etc. Try and have a separate account that you put money in each week. Doesn’t matter if it’s just a pound, it’s better than nothing and can mount up for a rainy day.

Lastly remember  happy well adjusted children are brought up on love not expensive gadgets and latest must haves.

Luckily by coincidence a friend was selling her Wii Fit so I snapped it up. Result. Rather nervously, and wasting far too much time, I set up my little Mii (computer representation of myself) and stepped onto Wii board. I dont know if it was the Wii board saying ouch, no honestly it does it every time, when I stood on it or the fact it changes the shape of the Mii to represent your weight that annoyed me. Fortunately for me having a stubborn trait does come n handy at times like these. On I soldiered.

Every day for 30 days I have weighed in and watched the weight come off ( yayyy) then go back on again ( not so yayy) and then start to come off again. I have a few theories on why my weight went back on again but I am taking the healthy view that it was my muscles being used again and my body getting used to eating properly. Admittedly I don’t do the exercises everyday but there is only so much of the patronising coach I can take. Oh and by the way, what’s with the ponytail Mr Coach? I swear you don’t have that when I started because I would have chosen the woman coach over a ponytail on man.

So my fitness goals? There are several so please bare with me as I list them …

• I want to be able to touch my toes again – there was a time I could not only touch my toes but my hand could go flat on the floor. I was still even to do the splits when I was 7 months pregnant with my son.
• I want to be able to get into the jeans I have again – I have some size 10 and some 12 , so not being fussy and any of them will do.
• I want to get bitten by the exercise bug – (at the same time by some miracle finding a cure for M.E.) I want to be a fit 40+ not a flabby 40+. Hence why I have entered the competition 2starsandaswirl has on her site which is  being run by Get Fit Feel Epic competition from Moneysupermarket.com . I want to win one of the prizes as it would spur me on.
• I want to be healthier. It has taken years and years to be able to eat fruit and vegetables without being ill.
• Lastly I want to be happier in my weight again, at the moment I am not as this isn’t me.

So if you see me out and about walking or rather propping up a wall, give me a boot up the arse and tell me to get going again please.

So what sort of deals are these internet cashback sites giving away?

Shop at Boots? You could be saving up to 4% on every purchase. Thinking of getting a new washing machine at Currys? You could save up to 1%. Dorothy Perkins your sort of clothes shop? You could be saving 2.5% on all those lovely clothes. Wanting a new perfume or going to treat your mum for Mothers Day this year? Save 2.5% with Fragrance Direct . New years resolution to be fitter inside and out? You could be saving 5% on every purchase with Holland and Barrett. New Look more your style then you could be saving 7% on everything. Wanting a new laptop this year, then saving up to 2.5% at PC world would be handy then. Into books ? Waterstones saving 2.5% . Or lastly wanting to book a night away? With Laterooms you’ll save 2.5%. These arent all the offers just the ones I use all the time.

Once your registered at Internet Cashback all the savings are there waiting for you, on every purchase you make online. Either go to your internet cashback site first or download their reminder.

What if your as absent minded as me and forget to check the cashback site first ? They have a a nifty little download that sits on your computer and minds its own business till you go to a site that gives you cashback. An alert pops up to tell you cash back is available and redirects you to the link that saves you money.

True its not massive savings but it all adds up . I spend around £30 each month in Newlook between my daughter and I. That’s £360 in a year, going through internet cashback I have saved £25.20 . That’s £25 for doing not a lot and my purse us £25 better off.

If you want to find out more have a read over at Internet CashBack and make your own mind up.

So I put pen to paper and this is what came out there was no plan just wrote as it came to me.

If only life were simple, feelings plain and clear, it would help me calm my mind and take away the fear.

I need to get these feelings out you may already know, the way the thoughts are going and how my fears they grow.

I feel so overwhelmed sometimes, well often, it is true, so what best way to deal with this when I’m feeling blue?

I know I’ll put a smile on, to hide away the tears; no-one wants to hear about all my silly fears.

I’m tired of being a burden to everyone around, I’m too aware that I must be bringing everybody down.

I like to be quite positive and smile and laugh, have fun, so what’s the point in always telling everyone I’m glum!

I get so tired, I hurt, I ache, it’s not something that I like, I’m scared I will never ever feel I like I did, just right!!

I used to be so happy, so full of life and busy, is this now all I can hope for, forever feeling fuzzy?

I try my best I swear I do, but it really is so hard, to feel the way you want to go is always fucking barred!

Just imagine how you’d feel if all you did was threatened, the life you once knew and enjoyed was suddenly not given.

I used to do the things you do without a thought or care, now I have to ask myself do I even dare?

If I go, if I do that, if I try to have MY life, what’s the payback going to be? Is it worth the strife?

Of course sometimes the answer’s yes, though you may not understand, if I can’t function one day why should I go out with the gang?

The reason is quite simple, I’ll lay it out for you, If I don’t go out and do fun things my life may as well be through!

Some people choose to judge this and it’s really their decision, but do they feel the hurt, pain and tiredness I’ve been given?

This is my life, not one I chose but one that I am living, it’s not much fun, it’s not fulfilling and it’s very unforgiving.

I had so many plans you see, it was all mapped out before me, now you see it, now you don’t, it’s always there to haunt me.

I still have hopes and dreams you know, I want to make it through, to maybe do some of the things that I always used to do!

So you see, I know you think I hide behind my smile, and only choose to show myself only once in a while.

You know who I am, you hear my cry even if I am silent, It’s sometimes not intentional I slip into auto pilot.

But I go back to what I said before about being a burden, all I want to do you see, is to push away the hurting.

It may not be the right way and I know that’s what you’ll say, but it really is so hard to live this each and every day.

I’m scared, I’m terrified, I feel like a lost little girl that has been taken from my safety net to a scary other world.

You know sometimes I want to die, for this burden for all to end. But I can’t leave my son, my family and all my lovely friends.

It’s you that keeps me going, through bad times and the good, there to lift me up and say “I always knew you could!”

So these are all thoughts from my head for you, it’s hard, it’s crap, it’s rubbish but it’s what we have to do!

Be honest: when was the first time you truly realised the value of money? Some of us have our parents to thank for a great financial education – but for others, it takes a few personal stumbles to get the hang of it. And some of us are still learning!

Kids who learn who to save and spend sensibly are more likely to stay on top of things in later life, so it’s easy to see why teaching your kids the value of money is so important. With that in mind, Debt Advisory Centre have put together this guide to getting your children into the right money mindset.

Give them a ‘job’

One of the first important financial lessons is the old cliché that ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’. It’s essential that your kids understand that to get money, they have to earn it.

We’re not suggesting that you get your three-year-old doing the dishes! When they’re really young, you can start with simple tasks like getting them to clear up their toys or tidy their room for a small reward. As they get older, you can get them doing more ‘grown-up’ things like the laundry, washing the car or setting the table.

Teach them about budgeting and saving

Before they start spending the money they’ve earned, you should teach your kids the importance of saving some it for later. Explain how they could spend it all on something now, or save up for a few weeks for something even better.

The chances are that as they get older, they’ll want more and more expensive things (bikes, games consoles, etc.). This is where the real lessons can begin.

Discuss with them how long it would take them to save up for what they want. You can help them compare how long it would take if they saved all their pocket money for a few weeks, or just half of it, or however much they feel comfortable with. This way they’ll learn that the more they hold back, the bigger the reward in the long run.

Let them spend!

Getting your kids into the saving habit is a great lesson for later life, but don’t forget the main purpose for money: spending it! We all need a few luxuries from time to time, and if you focus too much on saving for later, they’re going to lose interest.

Like most things in life, the key is moderation. Remind your kids that if they buy something now, that’s less money for next week.

These three simple lessons will give your children a great head-start when it comes to living in the ‘real world’. They might complain now, but one day, they might just thank you for it.

I was working long long hours. I had started doing affiliation several years before; this had led me to start creating more and more websites for myself but also for other people. There weren’t enough hours in the day. I was starting to earn money and the only way to take it to the next level was to spend more time on it all other than the hours at the end of the day when I was tired.

I hardly saw the children. We had no quality of life; it was wake up, work, pick up children, tea, work and then bed.

I hated the fact I had to put them into schools out club every summer. They hated it too but they never said till I asked them if they would mind not going to schools out if I went self-employed.

My job was looking more than iffy and I was going to be made redundant.

I had finally found what I wanted to do and wanted to do it as much as I could.

I wanted to be my own boss. My rules, my way with the buck stopping at me.

I had  a good start as I knew all the basics like accounts from my previous jobs and an ex-husband who was self-employed.

I wanted to see if I could do it.

I asked the children what they thought. I explained that we wouldn’t have so much money but it would mean I was at home working. They reaction was amazing  They were nearly as excited as me and said beans on toast every night was a small sacrifice if it meant I would be happy.

Yesterday I over did it. I had transportation so the exertion of walking wasn’t an issue. My day consisted of going to the insurance company, electronics store, home to charge a camera, 90 minutes of sitting on my ass at Eric’s school, groceries and the bank. Should have been a walk in the park right? I wish. I have slept most of today. Today sitting up is tiring. I take it back, holding my head upright is exhausting. I am dizzy, overwhelmed by sensory overload and very irritable. I have spent what should have been a fun weekend alone in a house which is thankfully cool, which is purposefully and necessarily silent. I am so overwhelmed and my brain is so disorganized that I can’t even decide to have dinner let alone what I might eat. This is a normal consequence of over doing it. It will take another 3 days (at least) to recover from this to my normal level of this sucks.

I need you to understand that I am not anti social, or avoiding anyone. I am in physical pain, thinking causes my head to hurt. If I could fix this I would. If I could be different I would. If I could have me back I definitely would.

I remember what being exhausted was like before I was sick. Young kids, work, school, crappy marriage… I had no idea that one day that level of exhaustion would become what a good day feels like.

I am supposed to go camping this summer. Frankly I am afraid to. I am afraid that I’ll run down, afraid that the noise and activity level around me will become too much as a result of wearing myself out. It is so hard to watch life go by and not be able to participate in it. This is my reality and it sucks. Frankly it is devastating to see people post FML over their small problems. You really have no idea what FML really is and be grateful please that you don’t.

I am not looking for a pity party or any kind of sympathy. I just want you to understand that on my bad days (today) that this is all I am capable of. If I come across as bitchy or irritable that I really have no control over it and don’t mean anything by it. It isn’t personal between you and I, it’s just my personal hell. I was unfortunate enough to have been sucker punched by a virus. All the gains I had made were erased when that virus reared it’s ugly head a year ago and made me acutely ill with mono. I have yet to come back from that.

Please watch the videos, learn something for yourselves. Chances are pretty good that I am not the only person you know who is suffering from something like this. I look great on the outside, I know, but that’s it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0w9-eQ_fKQ&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VE5OwMUU5sM&feature=endscreen&NR=1

I experience most of the symptoms described here. It’s been so long that I don’t think I notice some of them any more. Considering all that I experience because of this illness, I’m doing pretty damn well. http://tnq-support-group.net/Symptoms_ME_CFS-FNQ.html

http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/Day-to-Day-Life/a/Cold-Survival-With-Fibromyalgia-And-Chronic-Fatigue-Syndrome.htm

Sometimes I wish I could press a button and make the whole spinning world stop for a little while. The children are growing way to fast and I’m aging twice as quick. I want it to just stop so I can catch my breath and enjoy now just a bit longer.

Sometimes I pretend I am rich. I don’t do anything stupid like spend all the rent money on a jumper or anything like that. I just pretend in my head. Why? Because struggling all the time and the constant worry of what has to be paid by when and how it will be paid is just gets you down. It’s like a constant headache and just like a headache you take a tablet to make it go away, so I take a mind tablet and pretend I’m rich.

Sometimes I wish we didn’t all have to experience hurt of any kind. It just seems so unfair that you have a child, bring it up the best you can and then you have to release it to the world for it to experience all types of pain. There’s the physical pain where you won’t be there to kiss it better not they would appreciate you running up and kissing their knee better when they are at work in an office. The emotional pain which I know is part of life and makes you appreciate the good times more but do some people really have to experience so much bad luck.

Sometimes I wish this parenting lark wasn’t such hard work or that kids came with manuals or at the very least a default button. Teenagers are complex, bemusing, moody, excitable, unpredictable, grumpy, and snappy and that’s just on a good day. As a parent I am supposed to understand all of these charming attributes and still parent in an understanding and convincing way.

Netbook as I just broke it a few sentences up on reading about my win. While we’re at it a nice new fast bigger computer with triple screen set up as I am bored of 2 screens now.

A house would be high on the list as I rent. I do love my little home as it takes no time to clean and keep warm so nothing too big but a room for an office is a must.

A business would also be on high on the list. I want a little shop just like Miranda has in her show. Its quirky in shape and appearance and the stock is quirky too. Not at all practical and wouldn’t entertain the idea unless my lottery win (see I am being positive) was large.

I have only been abroad twice in my life. Bring out the violins. I would as soon as the money hits my bank account …more positive thinking…I would be checking out vacation spots for a well needed holiday. Greece ….France….sod it I don’t care as long as there is sun and I don’t have to cook.

I want to take both the kids on a shopping spree. Where they can buy all the clothes they want and choose things for their new rooms.

I want a library. No not the local council’s library as all their books are old and I would have to share them. I mean a room or even a wall in the new house that has lots and lots of books. I love books. I love the smell of books, the feel of them…just the whole thing about books.

I want to pay someone, like the posh people do, who will tell me what suits me and what doesn’t clothe wise. In my head I am 20, in the mirror it’s a completely different story and they two don’t go together.

There are lots of little things too like a new sofa, new bedding, a snuggly duvet but I guess if I stand any chance I best keep checking my numbers. I would hate to be the person who didn’t check their numbers or keep their ticket and watch £64 million go unclaimed.

If you’re affected, your Housing Benefit will go down to make sure that the total amount of benefit you get isn’t more than the cap level.

If you’re already getting benefits and could be affected by the cap you’ll be contacted by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP). They’ll let you know what will happen to your benefits.

What’s included

The cap will apply to the total amount that the people in your household get from the following benefits:

• Bereavement Allowance
• Carer’s Allowance
• Child Benefit
• Child Tax Credit
• Employment and Support Allowance (unless you get the support component)
• Guardian’s Allowance
• Housing Benefit
• Incapacity Benefit
• Income Support
• Jobseeker’s Allowance
• Maternity Allowance
• Severe Disablement Allowance
• Widowed Parent’s Allowance (or Widowed Mother’s Allowance or Widows Pension you started getting before 9 April 2001)

How much is the benefit cap?

The level of the cap will be:

• £500 a week for couples (with or without children living with them)
• £500 a week for single parents whose children live with them
• £350 a week for single adults who don’t have children, or whose children don’t live with them

Who won’t be affected?

You won’t be affected by the benefit cap if you qualify for Working Tax Credit (whether or not you claim it), or if you get any of the following benefits:

• Disability Living Allowance
• Personal Independence Payment (from April 2013)
• Attendance Allowance
• Industrial Injuries Benefits (and equivalent payments as part of a war disablement pension or the Armed Forces Compensation Scheme)
• Employment and Support Allowance, if you get the support component
• War Widow’s or War Widower’s Pension

More Organised – First Up I want to be more organised. Or rather I have got to get myself more organised. I start off all very well with a new notebook and write down things I want to do and poof off to fairy land I go. I have tried different calendars on the computer and my phone with brilliant idea of syncing them and being all smug at how organised I was. Phah. I managed that for all of 1 week. I have reverted back to the good old desk diary always open on my desk. The kids can write in there things they are doing and its always to hand when I answer the phone.

No Chocolate – I explained over at Not Perfect that I am attempting to lose some weight and have enlisted the help of my newly acquired Wii Fit board. To help towards this I have banned all chocolate till my birthday, which is thankfully in February.

Be More Assertive – For example …Sometimes it’s easier to do a chore myself then ask one of the children. First there is the selective hearing, so you have to repeat yourself. Then there is the chore mood they go through when it dawns on them they have to do something. Then there is the precise instructions you have re-tell for the hundredth time as they can’t remember what they did last time. Then to finish it all off they only do half the chore or not like you would at all so you end up re-doing the chore. BUT that doesn’t help anyone. So I have to learn to mean what I say and say what I mean.

Lastly..

Listen to my M.E – one of the things you’re told to do when your diagnosed with M.E is to pace yourself. They don’t actually tell you much more than this as M.E is still very much under researched so still a bit of a mystery…..that’s if you have a Doctor who is in the ‘M.E is real camp’. Pacing is doing a bit at a time and listening to your body. Having M.E is a bit like living on one bar of a mobile phone battery when everyone else lives on 3 bars. When they have used some of their energy and are down to 2 bars they still have 2 bars to fall back on whilst they carry on with what they are doing and recharge. With M.E life is on one bar and when you have used some of that energy up you have no reserves whilst your recharge back to one bar. So it’s little bit at a time. If you don’t pace yourself and run around like a loon then at some point you will crash. Crashing differs from person to person but its commonly described as pain all over like when you have flu crossed with just running a marathon and side fight with Tyson. Sooooo I need to pace myself more because I don’t .

Care To Learn is for parents who are under 20 (at the start of their course) who need help with childcare costs. It is only available for courses in England. This can include course like schools, school 6^th forms and 6^th form colleges. You could get up to £160 per child if you live outside London (£175 in London). Payment is paid directly to the childcare provider. For more details https://www.gov.uk/care-to-learn

Parents Learning Allowance is for full time students with children and you could get up to £1,508 a year . The money can help with things lie books, study materials and travel and doesn’t have to be paid back. How much you get does depend on your household income but it won’t affect your benefits or tax credit. For more details. https://www.gov.uk/parents-learning-allowance

First off the weather was usual wet. Summer was one week of sun early in the year. So in hindsight I would have lived out for the whole of the week. I would have even considered not sleeping as every minute counts. But  alas I didn’t and I blinked and missed the summer. 

There were garden party excuses galore. The Jubilee , the Olympics and if your into Lycra clad men , Tour de France. I didn’t have one garden party, I didn’t even have a BBQ . I think I was always waiting for a nice day. Instead I should have just got on with it and had a party or two despite the weather. I am sure I could have hired a generator  and sorted out some outside heating. Add in lots of fairy lights and candles, some food and a union jack and there you have a garden party. So I wished I had taken the time to celebrate these things more as they wont happen in my lifetime again.

2012 was the year the world was supposed to end. Apparently the Mayans calender predicted the end of the world on 21st December 2012. Slightly inconsiderate that they didn’t do it after Christmas was my first thought , me being a big Christmas lover. But nevertheless I did worry that they might be right. Daft I know especially as it wasn’t long till facebook was full of counter theories  The best ones being that they simply ran out of stone ( the calender is carved on a large round stone) and that Mayans made the prediction before the leap year cam about so if it was true the world ended a few months previous.

All in all what ever I didn’t do in 2012 is rather tough luck. I still haven’t built a time machine and I cant change anything. All I can do is learn by it. So its party all the way in 2013 just in case.

So it’s a time to reflect on the year that’s been. How’s the year been for you? Mine has been quiet and fairly uneventful. My youngest turned 13 so meant I no longer had a teenager and younger child but 2 teenagers in the house. If that wasn’t enough to make me feel my age, the eldest turned 16.

For me there have been no house moves, no job changes and most pleasingly no tragic events. As uneventful as it has been I think this year has made me more determined to make next year remarkable. Remarkable isn’t anything earth shattering, remarkable for me is getting through the week without crashing. This year I have learnt a lot more about M.E (I was diagnosed several years ago) the more I learn about it the more I dislike it. It’s unpredictable and has many facets to it. So just when you think your starting to get the hang of it …..Bam …it knocks you off your feet again.

So next year I really want to get the M.E under control and get back to where I was with it. I want to find time to read more, draws more and learn more. I want to carry on with my craft stuff as I have discovered it makes me happier than a pig in…brown muddy stuff.

I hope you all have a great new year’s eve and make some achievable and realistic resolutions.

So to all my readers, be it regular ones or one offs that just pass through I would like to wish you all a very merry Christmas. I hope it is full of happiness, calmness and most importantly, lots of glitter and sparkles.

If you’re a seasoned single parent you may have the Christmas logistics with ex’s and in-laws all sorted. If it’s your first Christmas as a single mum and feeling rather fragile, hang in there. It will be ok and you will survive it. Not all Christmases are perfect like they portray in the films and adverts.

Merry Christmas

As I walked up the hill (note to self – if I ever move, don’t pick a house at the top of a hill) I had a good look at all the Christmas trees shining in the front windows. I was merrily going ohh and ahhh but more worryingly I was turning my nose up a lot.

To me a tree has to be colour co-ordinated. A sparkling image of tastefulness. The size has to sit in with its surroundings. Not too big, though this is seldom ever seen or not too small this sadly is the norm. Nor should the tree be old and bare. There is only so much magic and covering up tinsel, lights and baubles can do. It has to have not too many lights or even worse not enough Christmas lights but just the right amount. Baubles really should be kept to just 2 or 3 colours, never any more unless you really know what you are doing. And trust me when I say the average person doesn’t know what they are doing.

A Christmas tree should make you sigh a happy Christmassy sigh, not send you running for the rennies.

Never also has the Christmas tree been up this early either. It’s my mum’s birthday on the 8^th and when I was growing up it was the law that no Christmas talk or decorations till after her birthday. The odd years I rebelliously put my tree up before her birthday I felt a pang of naughtiness and vowed the following year it wouldn’t be up so early. This year it was up on the 1^st with not a pang of naughtiness or rebellion. And if I did feel bad it was soon washed away when mum posted pictures of her Christmas lights this year on facebook before I had even put my tree up.

So everything is ready. Presents are bought, decorations up and plans sorted. Christmas can begin.

Everything you need is on the web

I was surprised to find so many people trading their goods on the World Wide Web. On eBay, you just have to enter the name of whatever you are looking for and you will immediately find the item in question. Compare the various sellers and prices and also do not only look for “buy-it-now”-items, but also for auctions. If you are lucky, the competition is low and only a few people bid for this specific item. I have already managed to make some amazing deals like this and got all kinds of stuff for a fraction of what they would normally cost.

As safe as possible

If you hesitate to buy online because you are worried about security aspects, let me assure you that there is nothing to be afraid of: Fraud has been made nearly impossible since the protection of the customers’ personal banking details has been a priority for the industry for years. As a result, people benefit from more security for sending money online than ever before. Even if you want to purchase something on the go, you can safely and easily do so via your smartphone.
And one last tip: If you want to get a good impression on what an item is really worth to people, don’t just compare the “buy-it-now”-prices but check the section “completed listings”: There you can see for what price the item actually sold for.

This is a guest post

…..To my children that when they are older and have a family of their own I will dutifully turn up to all meal invites. At the dinner table I promise I won’t fidget, lean all over the table or have a bored ‘do I have to be here’ look on my face.  I promise not to yawn when I am not being talked to or to reply to all questions with a grunt.

When you serve up the food that you lovingly cooked for hours (not to mention earned the money for, shopped for, dragged home..)  I promise I won’t pick through it with a fork as if you just served up poison.  And when you ask if the meal is ok I promise not to screw my nose up and say I am not keen or to then enthuse about my friends cooking and how lovely her meals are. I promise not to completely ignore the fact that you may have taken hours to cook the meal or actually walked the 2 mile round trip to get supplies. I promise not to leave my dinner plate on the side that is nearest to the dishwasher but to actually open the dishwasher and put the dinner plate inside.

I also promise not to leave every light on in all the rooms and when you challenge me as to why I won’t deny all knowledge. I promise not to use the last of the toilet roll and then not to replace the toilet roll for the next person.

I promise in the winter not to sit there in a thin top and whinge its cold and ask for the heating to be put on; instead I will wear proper clothes for the weather.

I promise not to do any of these things hopefully you will have children of your own and they will do all the above for you.

• Make use of vouchers
  Using vouchers like the ones offered on websites such as Groupon is definitely one of the best ways to save money, especially since there are vouchers available for a variety of items, activities and events. Are you looking for vouchers to save on new clothes? Just check the Groupon website to find fitting offers! Are you on the lookout for a good meal in between your visit to several stores? Choose one of the available pizza vouchers and help yourself to a delicious yet cheap meal. It is easy, reliable and just takes a little time to check which offers are available. Always keep in mind that the use of vouchers isn’t restricted to purchasing items since there is a variety of vouchers and coupons available for various kinds of activities. No matter if you are looking for reduced entrance fees for the cinema or discounts onn zoo tickets: Chances are that you won’t have problems in finding the coupon that fits your needs.
• Look out for sales
  Sales are another great option to save a good deal of money. Especially during summer sale and winter sale you can find a large variety of clothes for a reduced price. It is advisable, however, to show up early once the sales have started in order to find the best deals and to make sure you find what you are looking for. Naturally, sales attract large crowds of people, so make sure you arrive on time.
• Ask for a discount
  This might be a little hard to do for some people but chances are good that you will succeed if you buy more than one piece. Most shop assistants are allowed to take some percentage off the price if a customer either purchases several items or if the item in question has some flaws, e.g. little scratches or misprints.

This is a guest post.

What you are doing just isn’t on and really needs to be addressed. When I was young, care free and not a care in the world you burned every calorie I chucked careless down my throat. When I didn’t know what I was doing and devoured calories like they were going out of fashion complete with sugar coating, you burned the calories off. You even burned the calories at both ends when the only form of exercise I did was skipping to the pub.

Fast forward 20 years and you’re really flaking on your duties just when I need you most. At 20 I didn’t understand you, didn’t care and wasn’t bothered. Now I understand you (well just a little bit), I do care and I am more than bothered. I am eating a healthy diet, I don’t think I can physically eat anymore fruit and veg. Granted I am no Olympic athlete but I do walk a couple miles just about every day. I watch every calorie that goes into my mouth and haven’t drunk alcohol in over 6 years or ate meat in 2 years.

But despite all this you have given up on me and you seem to be travelling life at a snail’s pace. Your holding on to every calorie with dear life and your storing fat as if there is a famine on the horizon. At a time in life when I am noticing things are starting to drop and droop just a little bit more. When wrinkles and grey hairs are starting to knock on my door and confidence is having a bit of a hissy fit, are you there for me to rely on? No. You have abandoned me hook, line and sinker.

What I don’t love though is the whole thinking up unique, individual, wanted presents for people. Then you have to source each of the presents, trudging from shop to shop hearing yet another tinny, cheesy Christmas carol being strangled over the stores speakers. You pass every other mum in the world who is trying to do the same thing and have equally pissed off looks on their faces too. Although trying to find a gift that is unique and not just a commercially mass produced gift that is in every high street, is a bit of a tough job. This year I want to buy two really unique gifts for two people. I cant give too much away in case they pop by and have a read. ( ohhhh this is so hard) But I can say the two gifts I wanted had to be unique and I found the perfect gifts on Treat Him (pssst there is a Treat Her site too ). I ordered from the comfort of my sofa and a few days later the two perfect gifts were on my desk. Perfect.

This year I am cheating. I am not queuing in any queues. I won’t be wrapping myself up against the elements to brave yet another unsuccessful shopping trip. This year I am doing it all online. I think so far I have bought just about every Christmas pressy online and the rest are bookmarked ready for when I have more pennies.

Reclaiming some time for you isn’t an unnecessary self-indulgence.  “Me time” is actually important for the welfare of your family.  And, of course, it’s not easy to carve out some time and space for yourself from a hectic schedule of school runs, shopping, cooking and fitting in other work.  Evenings are likely to be your best opportunity, when you have put the kids to bed, the chores are done, and all is quiet.  (You hope)  The down side?  That by the end of the day you may well feel that all you want to do is to crash into bed yourself!  The tip is to accept that you need to relax, physically and mentally, and find the ways that work best for you.

Yoga; great for relaxation and exercise, courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sitting down with a cup of green tea, which contains valuable antioxidants and also just helps to clear your head, can be a first step.  Then if you are looking to build your fitness or lose weight, look at some gentler forms of exercise like Yoga or Pilates.  (It’s unlikely that you will feel like exercising to a high-adrenaline disco-music DVD at this point in the evening!)  Yoga can help you improve your mental sharpness, your physical flexibility and balance.  If you are a beginner, you’ll need to explore which of the many forms of Yoga suits you best, and plan to put regular time aside for practice.  Planning in “you time” every week, you’ll soon start to feel the benefits of feeling fitter and more relaxed.

Check Airplane Rules in Advance

Avoid any surprises at the airport by asking about luggage regulations when you book your ticket. Most airlines these days have quite strict regulations for hand luggage allowed in the cabin, although this will vary depending on whether you are flying domestically or internationally. There are usually restrictions on all liquids, gels, and creams, but baby food and cream tends to be allowed on board. It’s helpful to call the airline in advance to mention that you’re travelling alone with small children. They can usually make sure you’re all seated together and may even have extra amenities for you such as baby bassinets or entertainment packages for the children. You’ll also be allowed to board first, to give you extra time to get settled in with the brood. Be sure to mark every piece of luggage with name tags UK to avoid losing anything.

Fight Ear Pain on the Flight

Babies and toddlers are more prone to ear pain as the plane changes altitude than other passengers, which is why screaming seems to intensify during take-off and landing. Protect your little one’s sensitive ears by giving something to drink during any changes in altitude. A side benefit of giving liquids is that it helps fight the dehydration that’s common long flights. Older children can chew gum to help pop their ears.

Bring Distractions and Snacks

Surviving a long car or plane trip basically boils down to distraction. This can be particularly difficult if you’re all alone and travelling with more than one child, but bringing along plenty of books, games, and toys for the duration of the trip will help keep kids from getting bored. Go shopping with your kids before the trip to allow them to pick out some new toys or games for the journey. You can then place these along with a few surprises into special backpacks marked with kids labels. Don’t let them open their backpacks until on the flight or in the car, and they’ll be distracted by all the new goodies. Packing healthy snacks can also help kids fight junk food overload and keep them from getting cranky.

Child-Proof Hotel Rooms

Once you’ve arrived at your hotel room, conduct a quick safety sweep. Move heavy objects up high and bring your own electric outlet covers. Read online reviews of hotels and try to find one that’s known for being family-friendly, ordering rollaway beds or cots ahead of time so that you don’t have to stress once you get there.

By taking a little bit of time to plan ahead for the journey, you can relax once you get to your destination. The key to enjoying any holiday with kids is not to try and cram too many activities into the day, so that you all have time to sightsee and enjoy each other’s company without stress. You’ve earned this holiday, now enjoy it!

But there are lots of ‘things’ that you wouldn’t think for a million years would have an actual name and they have. Someone at some point sat down, had a brainstorming session and gave the object a name. Who would have thought?

The armhole in your clothing is called an armsaye.

That dangling curl or hair is called a feat.

The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade is called a harp.

The plain or ornamental covering on the end of a shoe lace is called an aglet.

The space between the thumb and extended forefinger is called the purlicure.

The creases on the inside of your wrist are called rasceta.

The rustle of silk is called scroop. ( I knew this one – honestly I did )

And lastly …..next time your stomach rumbles you will know the noise is actually called wamble.

1                     You bun 3.5 calories each time you laugh.

2                     The delightful expression ‘kick my arse’ is thought to date back to 1705.

3                     More than 500 peanuts are used to make a jar of peanut butter.

4                     Japan is the largest exporter of frogs’ legs.

5                     One in ten people in the world live on an island.

6                     Our ability to taste fades with age.

7                     Flushing a toilet costs on average 1.5p.

8                     A person uses approximately 57 sheets of toilet paper each day.

9                     At the age of 35, a human will start to loose approximately 7,000 brain cells a day. They are never replaced.

10                 Most toilets flush in the key of E flat.

11                 Between 4 and 5 people are born every second and 2 people die.

12                 Britons throw away enough rubbish every hour to fill the Royal Albert Hall.

13                 People read 25% slower from a computer screen than from paper.

14                 The space between your eyebrows is called glabella.

15                 Only 30% of humans can flare their nostrils.

And you can stop flaring, or not flaring, your nostrils now.

You will need:

• 1 or 2 qts. of rum
• 1 cup butter
• 1/8 tsp. sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 cup dried fruit
• Baking powder
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• Lemon juice
• Brown sugar
• Nuts

Directions:
Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality.
Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be just right! To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
With an electric mixer, beat butter in large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanshile, it’s important to make sure the rum is of the finest quality—try another cup.
Open the second quart of rum if necessary. Add 1 arge leggs, 2 cups of fried druits and beat till high.
If the druits get stuck in the beats, just pru it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again for cinscistincy.
Next, sift 3 cups of salt and feffer (it really doesn’t matter). Sample the wum again.
Sift 1 pint of lemon goose, add 1 bablespoon of brown thugar, of whatever color tou can find. Mix well. Grease oven, turn cake pan to 350 greeds.
Noe, pour the whole mess sinto the boven and ake. Check the crum again and go to bed.

I liked this so much I turned it into a card too.

So I am challenging myself to be a snazzy 50 year old. I challenge the 50 year old me not to be in polyester slacks, I will let myself off the elasticated waists as I have already found the joys of these in jeggings. I will not be in comfy shoes, well not all the time. At 50 I must own a pair, or two, of hideously snazzy shoes with heels. I also must wear them and not just for special occasions. We spend too much of our time saving things for special occasions, waiting for special occasions, life and all its special things are for now. I will feel special every day, not just on special occasions.

I will not be found smelling of violets or lavender but will smell of the latest perfumes. I challenge myself to treat myself to at least one new perfume each year and it’s to be a new name, not a name that has been around longer than me.

I won’t be a bitter older woman who is snarling at the aging years but embracing the times as a woman who has found the joy of being wiser. I will be one of those 50 year olds that people stop and wonder how I do it.

So with new craft stash purchased I have made a few new cards. First of I have created some new cards for those friends who have new baby’s this year. I am doing these in pink or blue for the new baby’s and also silver or green for modern or traditional Christmases.

all modern in silver

in traditional colours

for a new baby girl

for a new baby boy

Next I have been playing with a new poinsettia die. Haven’t managed to make this one into a card yet, so this picture is just the trial run. But it looks so special I’ll have to make it into a card soon.

side view of the poinsettia flower

the poinsettia flower

Lastly I have been making some that are a bit more special. The heart is slightly raised in the centre so the heart isn’t flat before I cover it with flowers. Each flower has to be added individually but I think it is worth it. I think this one can be used for so many occasions. To tell someone you love them, special Christmas, wedding or anniversary…..list could go on.

close up of the new handmade card

The new handmade card

The new card in a lighter colour

Autumn to me should be about lingering sunshine that’s not quite ready to be packed away for 6 months. It’s about leaves that are crunching under your feet on leisurely walks. It’s about getting stores in ready for winter. Those lucky ones who have open fires will be stocking up the wood pile. Having instant heat like that you get with electric or web oil is all very well but it just isn’t the same as an open fire. I’m afraid I am in the instant heat camp with all electric heating. I pine for an open fire. I can’t complain about the rest of it as autumn is actually living up to what it should be. Its dry, not that cold, and lots of lovely leaves on the ground to go scrunching in.

So what will winter bring this year? Last year it was snow which caused havoc all across the country. We hardly get snow here as were too close to the coast and all that salt air…if my science lessons serve me right. But even we had snow. This year I am hoping for snow again. But then I am lucky and don’t have to venture outside, just watch it from my window and be in aware the sudden silence it brings.

The second A&E trip only happened this weekend. I had my whole Saturday planned and lists written then came the text from my daughter. ‘I’ve heard my foot’. My daughter goes down to the stables every Saturday to see Hector (and every other minute she can spare) to groom, ride, poo pick and all the other horsey things and has done every Saturday for over 18 months. So to see her a bit later hobbling down the garden path I knew it wasn’t something simple.

She was in agony. One of the bigger horses, George, had slipped and skidded into her foot. Her big toe was a going a lovely shade of blue and was swollen. Ice was applied and we waited to see how it went. Nothing improved so it was a trip to A&E. Hours and hours later we emerged with her in crutches and bandaged up with an x-ray appointment in 2 days’ time.

Luckily the x-ray showed nothing had been broken and she is now all back at school hobbling away.

If I ever doubted her passion for horses it was reaffirmed the day after her foot had an argument with the horse. Here she is telling Hector all about it.

Daughter telling Hector all about it.

First bit of advice is to not ignore it. Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away; if anything it makes matters worse.

If you have a lot of debt it might be best to talk to a debt company. They can help you and give you the best advice forward.

Avoid going to loan companies and load sharks as this isn’t the answer and will only give you a short term solution, rather a long term solution meaning you have to deal with an even worse situation later. It is also important to keep an eye on whether, as they grow up and deal with their own money, your kids might feel financial pressure. It’s so easy to get a quick-fix of money both online and offline these days. Unbelievably one online loan company is currently facing questions over lending to children under 18. Talking as a family and having money issues out in the open, should encourage your children grow into money-responsible adults.

Spend some time writing down everything you have to pay out each month. And I mean everything. Kids school dinner money, rent, electric…..you get the idea. Then write down everything you have coming in. Take your outgoings away from your income figure. Hopefully you still have a positive number but if you have a minus figure or your positive figure is low then you will have to have a hard look at your outgoings.

Look through all the things you could cut back on. This all may sound a bit obvious but sometimes writing it all down makes you realise how much money you actually have available at the end of the month and is probably different figure to the one that’s in your head.

The other thing I do is to keep an on-going note of all my income and out goings in an excel sheet. I’m not kidding when I say it’s for the whole year. If I spend an extra tenner next week I know what impact it has on my bank balance for the rest of the year. Yes it takes a bit of time to set up but once set up it only takes a few minutes each money to make sure my bank account and excel sheet tally up.

One of the things I have always tried to install in my children is to be positive. I learnt long ago that being negative only gets you down. It’s also thought that what you give out is what you get back. So if you spend your life giving out constant negative vibes you might find yourself surrounded by negative people and , well in short, feel crap.

I always try and see the good in all things and situations. I don’t whine and moan about things I haven’t got or want that I don’t have. I try to learn from every testing situation and dust myself off and get on with it.

But I can’t seem to get my somewhat annoying positive thinking across to the children. I’m not expecting any shinning glowing light to radiate from their heads but I thought all my positive thoughts would rub off on them eventually. I would rather they have a positive out look on life. I want them to give out their own positive vibes in life so that they too are surrounded by positive and inspirational people in the growing years.

So does our positive or negative outlook on life make any difference to our children? Or is it something they don’t get till later in life?

Can I just pause a second as I hyperventilate at the thought of my child ( yes yes I know she’s 16) going to London without me.  Now I know I shouldn’t be worrying at all as it’s a friend’s mum taking them up and bringing them back. And the whole thing is arranged for children of her age in mind. It’s not like she suddenly wanted to see something completely random and came home and said she had alanis morissette tickets , nothing wrong with Alanis it’s just not what she is into at the moment. That would just result in one big argument about having to sell tickets.

She will of course be safe and ecstatically happy, even the news that she will be at getting up at 4 in the morning. I will do enough worrying for everyone but in the meantime I guess I best look up some of these chaps who she will be seeing so that I have some home of keeping up with the hundreds of photos she no doubt will be taking.  And not forgetting what it’s all about and that’s the teens who have been nominated for doing brilliant things.

So with all the sites settling in nicely into their new homes it left me the rest of the week to prepare myself for my eldest 16^th birthday. I say prepare as it has made me feel rather old. One minute they are toddlers and you’re wishing they were older and next minute you’re wondering where the time has gone and wishing time would stand still for a bit.

The actual birthday was a success. Presents bought that were on her wish list. New riding boots that would make any bank manager weep ( they did me) and a new mp3 player to allow her to plug herself in and not have to do that talking thing that us parents insist on. Birthday tea request was sausage casserole followed by birthday cake. All demolished in moments after the mandatory birthday horse ride.

As to how am I coping with her turning 16? It’s reminded me how old I feel, its reminded me how fast the time goes and to cling onto every moment as soon they both will fly the nest. BUT if I hear the phrase ‘I am 16 now mum’ one more time I may scream.

It is lovely that you took the time out of your busy schedule to visit my site. Oh wait you probably did it by some computer bot and think its rather clever and niffty. Lets have a look at this a second and we may work out where you went wrong.

You start by calling me webmaster or mate. Now if you were a real person you would take the time to figure out my name. Its not that heard I promise you, its on every sodding post.

You then proceed to tell me how long you have been looking for that information and so glad you found it. Really? You been looking for ages to see if my cat had died? Again if it was a   genuine comment maybe you would be a bit more precise instead of just using the term ‘information’.

or

You try the one word wonder. A comment with just one word is hardly inspiring or exciting and 10/10 times irrelevant.

or

You just waffle for a couple of sentences just utter rubbish that just proves how deranged and ill-informed you are on the whole comment/link back thing.

Sometimes you ‘scattter’ your comment with links to …well lets put this in a nice way….sites I wouldn’t visit. I’m a single mum, its not a secret as its in the blog name. Now in my day, and I believe its still true to this day, Mum is the word for a parent that is female. So seeing as I am female do you really think I want to look, go or even be connected to sites that are for the males of this world. I’m not even going to ask if you have the medical credentials to back up your ‘enlargement’ claims.

There are the odd occasion the, so called, comment is so long it makes War and Peace look like a lunch time read.

And then you decide that the way to win my heart is to submit the same comment lots of time. Trust me, its not the way to my heart.

All this time and energy you put into all these spam comments confuses me. I guess you are doing it to either get the link back or to entice me to your site.?  I can say and  I can probably guarantee that all the above is the exact reason that I wont approve your comment so that you get the link back nor will I visit your site. Oh and the fact that your site/link is utter crap.

Myth No1 – Its not clever or niffty to use a bot to make comments.

Myth No2 – Not everyone on the internet is called webmaster – some go by their actually names You know, the ones we use in the real world.

Myth No3 – Not every pre-written comment fits in with all posts.

Myth No4 – No need to make your comment is reallllyyyy long, we can tell by the end of the first sentence its spam. Save your fingers.

Myth No5 – Submitting the same comment 100′s times doesn’t get it approved.

Myth No6 – Not all bloggers are daft, stupid or into shady things. Some will see your comment for what it is and just delete it without it ever seeing the light of day.

By the end of this coming decade your daughter will be in her twenties ( eeekkkk) but we won’t dwell on that and we will hope that she doesn’t turn you into a Grandma. Your son too will be in his twenties ……..I think I will stop there on that subject as that’s already making you feel really old.

Your self-employment work is working well. So I hope this decade carries on the same way. You have managed to achieve a good balance between working and actually enjoying life. You can pick the hours you want and have cut down the silly ‘all nighters’ to get things finished. Sadly I see so many people never achieve this balance. They work hard to buy bigger houses which mean more upkeep which means working more hours to pay for a house that they seldom see and when they do they are either cleaning it or sleeping in it. You have also learnt the word no. If you don’t want to do something or don’t have the time to do something you say no. This too is a good thing and I hope you continue it.

I hope by the end of this decade you finally have a holiday. Your last trip abroad was your honeymoon and we both know that ended in disaster in more ways than one.

As far as attractions go, it can be difficult to know where to start. There are the museums, from Science to Natural History, which can keep kids of all ages entertained for a full day and most come at a little or no cost to enter.

The South Kensington area has also been suggested as a good starting point as there are a string of good museums on one street and the option of a picnic in Kensington Gardens afterwards. Then we could visit the stately palace itself and stop by the Diana Memorial Playground with the younger ones.

Fans of the grisly (and only for older kids) will enjoy places like the Tower of London and the London dungeon. With interactive exhibits and 3 themed rides, the Dungeon is perhaps more suitable for over ten so that’s both my two covered.

Of course there is the famous and nearly impossible to go wrong with London Zoo; its handy location in Regents Park and the exciting animals – from llamas to Asian lions – make for an unforgettable day out. If underwater is more your scene, try the Embankment for a close encounter with the sharks at the London Aquarium, not being a water-lover I might skip this one.

As you can see there are so many ideas to choose from that it’s obviously best to consult the experts and see where your children want to go. Whether they’re into gruesome history, adventure play or exotic wildlife, there’s plenty of potential for a thoroughly enjoyable trip.

You will take an office job that will help you in more ways than you think. It will be a struggle with childcare, working long hours and lack of money but its all part of your journey. A chance meeting will change your employment and comes at the same time you’re first told you have M.E. and was brought on by all the stress you have been through. It will force you to sit down and rethink your life. You will learn that you have to eliminate the stress from your life.

Your new employer will, without them realising, teach you a very valuable lesson in money, stress and happiness. It will cause you to rethink the whole western approach to money that you were brought up around. So much so you will take a leap of faith before the decade is out. This will have a positive effect on the M.E you have struggled with.

On a good note you will finally find your happy place.

It all sounds a bit mystic meg doesn’t it? But trust me this decade is about you.

I know it’s too early to bring this up, but that chill is in the air and we all know it’s coming. While many people cherish their family Christmas as a peaceful time to catch up with parents and relatives, at my house as my children always spend Christmas with their father and his family. We never got into your turn, my turn thing. Instead we asked where they wanted to spend Christmas. Their choice is with me and my small family, or with their father and his huge family complete with cousins their own age. Not much competition really.

It’s controversial, but this year I’m dreaming of a sunny Christmas.

Probably due to fact of our wet summer this year. It would be a Christmas of firsts if I threw into the children choosing that my Christmas would be spent in the sun and a first Christmas in a long time I would spend with them. But what if I booked a family cruise holiday  in the Caribbean to spend the depths of winter in the tropical, relaxing sun.

I’m not sure my ex-husband would be ecstatic about the idea but then he has had he last 10 Christmases with the children and I’m sure the kids would be beside themselves with glee. They’ve never been on a cruise, and never been on holiday with me for that matter, so escaping the cold winter for an exotic cruise holiday will be the best holiday they can even imagine! There were some questions about how Santa might fit down the chimney of a cruise ship, but I could assure them that he would be able to get in (although his luggage allowance might not be as large as usual).

And imagine the Christmas presents – ordering spa treatments, extra offshore excursions, and so on is much more exciting and different than the typical DVD box set or new sweater.

Would you ever celebrate Christmas on holiday, rather than home alone or with a small family?

You will decide you don’t want your daughter to be an only child like you and you both decide to have another baby whilst fitting in a quick wedding before your son is born. Even the honeymoon is rushed as your both whisked back to the UK 7 days sooner than expected when hurricane Mitch hits your resort.

A couple years later you take the bold step of admitting you’re not happy and the marriage isn’t right. Your husband won’t understand and it’s a very messy time. Just after your sons 2^nd birthday you start your new life as a single mum.

My advice for this decade is to stay strong. You are stronger than you think and this is will be the start of a whole new life for you.

Now if money was no object I would be looking for a new car. What would I get for though? I’m not too sure on anything that’s big so although my Dad is die hard Mercedes fan and has been trying to convince me you can get good deals on second hand mercs and keeps showing me used Mercedes for sale. I’m remaining unconvinced. I’m more of a mini type person. It would have to be in some bright colour but I could see myself nipping around the town in a mini.

That’s all rather immaterial as I don’t have the funds for a new car so will have to face the fact I will be car-less. For how long depends on how much it’s all going to cost. I have promised Gunther an extra special clean if he remains cheap, oh and to actually clean him more regularly.

Being car-less will be quiet good though in some ways. Apart from all the green brownie points I will rack up, it will also test the waters to see if I can actually function without a car. True I don’t have to walk to work but there is food to be got and I have Asda, Lidls and Aldi all in walking distance just as long as I don’t buy more than my backpack can carry. So I will rack up some walking miles too.

At 16 you move home again, this time just you. You move to a bedsit which funnily enough I can see from my window today. This first move is the first of many as you happily move from place to place in your quest to find somewhere you can call home.

Careers wise you decide to take up your mum’s love of sewing and start an YTS scheme. You have the knack and produce the most stunning wedding dresses later in your life.

When your turn 18 you will decide it’s time to find out about your birth parents. Don’t worry about it. You take it all in your stride and the search takes days and not the months or years you were warned it would.

In nerdy land there will be lots of things happening. Web browser is launched, word is created, windows 1 is launched and all this is good news for you. On a down side house prices by the time your 20 reach £70k.

My advice ? Don’t be too quick to trust others, namely men. Oh and that lovely slim body you have in your late teens, cherish it.

In the next ten years you’re going to learn to walk, talk and all those other handy things that you need for life. You’re going to learn that the mum and dad looking after you aren’t your natural parents but your adoptive parents. Don’t worry they don’t sit you down and shock you, you just grow up knowing. It sort of makes you the cool kid at school as it makes you a bit different.

You’re going to move from the big town house in a busy city to a small house in the country when your about 7. Your mum doesn’t work so you will spend your summer holidays walking to the nearest beach and whinging all the way home. Life and school work is uncomplicated and easy. Enjoy these years as it won’t always stay that way.

In the big wide world Bic launch their first disposable razor. Trust me you will benefit from this in years to come. Oh and another thing that is going to have a major impact in your later life, they launch the microcomputer Altair 8800 and Apple computer. At the time it means nothing to you and your dad declares it will be a 5 minute wonder, but in around 35 years’ time you will understand.

The only advice I can give you for the next ten years is to enjoy it.

For hundreds of years walk in wardrobes have been a symbol of wealth and luxury for reasons that are relatively obvious. Not only does having a walk in wardrobe mean that a bedroom and house has enough room to cater for such a luxurious privilege but they also give ladies, gentlemen and children who have a comprehensive choice of garments in their wardrobe the ability to stand up, walk about and casually try on different outfits to their leisure.

If you are lucky enough to have ample room in your bedroom to have a walk in wardrobe and are thinking about fitting one, no doubt that you will be deliberating what style of walk in wardrobe to opt for and will appreciate being informed about the following four walk in wardrobe designs.

1-      Bespoke walk in wardrobes

To create truly designer walk in wardrobes, opting for a bespoke walk in wardrobe never fails to be a favourite style of this type of wardrobe. Whether you are tearing out and renovating an existing walk in wardrobe, wanting to extend a pokier wardrobe or simply want to give yourself the luxury you deserve, bespoke walk in wardrobe designs are tailor made to suit your own personals tastes and requirement.

2-      American style walk in wardrobe

One walk in wardrobe design that has become extremely popular in recent years is walk in wardrobes that incorporate the American style closet system. With its distinctive wall mounting design and reduced shelf depth, this style of designer walk in wardrobe is perfect for bedrooms that don’t have as much space as is maximises storage potential in a smaller space.

3-      Walk in wardrobes with a skylight

Because many walk in wardrobes are located to the rear of a bedroom or in an unusual place, one complaint people can have about walk in wardrobes is that they can tend to be on the dim and dingy side.

Of course this problem can be rectified by placing a brighter light bulb within the wardrobe. Although a much more favourable solution to brighten up dimly-lit walk in wardrobes is to have a skylight installed in the room.

Whilst having a skylight put in any room is a costly, fairly time-consuming and messy job, once it is in position not only will you start saving money by not relying on electric lights but you will also benefit from deciding what to wear in natural light, which as the world outside your house will see you in natural light, this has to be a preferable form of lighting in a walk in wardrobe.

4-      Vividly coloured walk in wardrobes

Whilst some walk in wardrobes exploit darker furniture to accentuate the notion of lavishness and attractiveness, there is a growing trend within designer walk in wardrobes to utilise bright and vivid colours, such as brightly painted furniture or bold wallpaper on the walls to create a sense of freshness, creativity and style.

From placing a brightly coloured ‘sunflower’ rug on the floor to hanging pictures of poppies on the walls, bright and vivid walk in wardrobes can help lift your spirits as you get dressed for the day ahead!

Here it is…

Good luck Kairen, and all the best, from a past someone. Not sure how I stumbled on your site. But… I think you’re a nice person, a sweet person even, regardless. One piece of sincere advice: don’t project your past experiences onto someone in the present or future. All men are not the same. Don’t deprive yourself of the good things that come from an intimate relationship. Life is even richer when it’s not spent alone. I wish you all the best, and hope you find it.

J. Doe

Of course, the first factor worth considering in this sort of decision is that your child will have his or her own opinions when the time comes. By the time they need corrected vision, children are old enough to have (often strong) preferences when it comes to glasses vs. contacts. For example, some children feel that glasses are not particularly “cool” or stylish, even though they may grow out of those feelings eventually. On the contrary, other children may be a bit nervous about wearing contacts, as the idea of putting a lens directly on the eye can be a bit intimidating to some younger children. If you think that your child or children may one day need corrected vision, you should be prepared for these types of preferences. But, you should also be prepared to explain some of the pros and cons of glasses and contacts to your child.

The main advantages of eyeglasses for a child are convenience and simplify. Of course, contacts and glasses will both correct your child’s vision to near perfection, but with glasses your child won’t have to worry about some of the complicating factors of contact lenses. He or she can simply wear glasses whenever necessary, and take them off with ease. Additionally, activities like sports, swimming, etc. can be simpler, as the glasses can just be taken off before participation. However, for some children glasses can also be cumbersome. They are easily broken and sometimes easily lost as well, and your child will have to be very responsible with them.

On the other hand, contact lenses offer a whole different range of positives and negatives. The main negative is that particularly for younger children, contacts can be a bit uncomfortable or difficult to maintain responsibly. However, companies like Acuvue offer a variety of types of contacts, meaning that you ought to be able to find something comfortable for your child. Additionally, if your child is comfortable getting used to contact lenses and the routine of taking care o them, he or she might appreciate the flexibility and natural feel of contacts as opposed to glasses. Ultimately, the choice depends on the child for the most part, but being prepared with these arguments can help your decision making when the time comes.
Andrea Mitchell is a mother who frequently contributes to parenting blogs. She enjoys all topics related to raising young children.

What is Universal Credit?

Universal Credit will be means tested for people of working age. It will be one credit for people whatever their employment status.

Its aim is to be simpler than the complex system we have at the moment where separate benefits are administered by different agencies.

From 2013/14 Universal Credit will replace

• Income Support
• Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
• Income related Employment support allowance
• Housing benefit
• Child tax credit
• Working tax credit

How Will It All Change?

The change to Universal Credit will affect 5 million tax credit customers, 4 million DWP customers and 3.5 million housing benefit customers.

Oct 2013 – April 2014

500,000 new claims will go onto the new Universal Credit. 500,000 existing claimants will move onto Universal Credit when they have a significant change of circumstances. This is known as natural migration.

April 2014 – late 2015

From the remaining existing claimants, those who will benefit the most will be moved over to Universal Credit.

New claims and natural migration will continue.

End 2015 – Oct 2017

The remaining claimants will be moved to Universal credit as the old benefit system winds down.

What’s Not Included In Universal Credit?

• Council Tax Benefit
• Carer’s Allowance
• Contributory Benefits
• Disability Living Allowance
• Child Benefit
• Social Fund
• Passported Benefits.
• Statutory sick pay, Statutory Maternity Pay, Maternity Allowance, Industrial Injures Disablement Allowance and Bereavement Benefits will remain under the current system.

Amount Awarded

Claims will be made by households instead of individuals. The amount awarded will depend on income and circumstances of all the members of the household. The Government intends that no one, who’s situation is unchanged, ends up worse off when they are transferred to the new Universal Credit.

Maximum Benefit

It is proposed that the Universal Credit will have a maximum cap on the benefit payments a household can receive.

Payment

Universal Credit will be a single payment made monthly to the household.

Of course I jumped at the chance but then realised all my new cards had sold. Not wanting to put cards in the cabinet that had already been displayed, last Thursday was rather a ready, steady …craft day. 

So heres what I managed to make on that day to go into the cabinet as well as a few last minute christmas cards which I forgot to take pictures off.

If your local you can pop in and buy them at the library on a September special offer of £3.50 instead of the usual price of £4.50.

Follow your Passions

Before you start making any sales, you’ll have to choose the right product. It’s best to choose a market that you know something about or are interested in. If you have a passion for foreign languages, you could start selling video language lessons, for example. There is no limit to the type of product you could sell online, from natural beauty products to auto parts. If you choose something you’re passionate about, you’ll be inspired to work harder and will enjoy watching your business grow.

Create a Personalized Website

Once you have chosen your product or service of choice to try and sell, you’ll need to create an ecommerce website. With the help of popular services like Shopify ecommerce templates, you can choose from an array of customizable templates to create your own unique online store. This can then be managed using the same ecommerce platform, so that you can organize and sell your products from one central source. With a secure shopping cart and payment system, your customers can pay you directly through your website.

Get Organized

As any mother already knows, organizing your time efficiently can be easier said than done! It’s hard to set aside any set time to accomplish tasks when you have children at home, but this challenge is part of the fun. A good way to get organized with running your own business from home is to write down a to-do list each day, rather than trying to break your day up into certain blocks of time. That way, as long as you get the daily tasks completed, it doesn’t matter if they’re completed during regular 9-5 business hours or when your child has just gone to bed.

Use Online Promotional Tools

Part of running an online business is using the internet for promotional purposes, because it’s possible to reach a potentially unlimited audience. You can integrate your ecommerce shop with Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest profiles. Writing a blog is also a good way to help get the word out about your brand and sharing information that prospective customers might be interested in. Above all, be creative and have fun with your online networking, because customers respond to businesses that have a personality.

As a nation we really do seem to be just money orientated. We seem not to do anything unless there is a money goal of some sort. What happened to doing things for people just because we can? Why is so much in life measured in money or possessions? Does owning the latest car, gadget and gizmo really make people that much happier than those who don’t have the latest car or gadget. Are people really that much happier having the finest things in life? To me this whole attitude of keeping up with the Jones and needing materialistic things to make us happier is just creating a world of falsehood. The more possessions, bigger homes and larger cars may make you happy for a short while but then you have to up your earnings to maintain the lifestyle you are creating. Have less and it takes a lot less to maintain, leaving you more time and energy and less stress to enjoy your life and the people in your life.
I may not have the best of everything but I make the most of what I have got and money doesn’t rule my life. Have you ever wonder why all the coffee plastic lids have a warning that the beverage is hot although it is obvious it is hot when you grab it? Well… it all comes from a lawsuit. Who would have thought of suing a company for serving hot coffee? Well I’m sure someone in the States… I’m not sure how injury compensation in the UK works and don’t know if I could become a millionaire because I paper-cut my finger when using some envelopes or because a colleague spilt his cup of tea on top of me by accident.
I think it is time we assume our responsibility, maybe if we went around with our eyes a bit more open and not constantly doing 2 or 3 things at once we would notice things more. If you were texting and driving and hit another car… get ready, you are in trouble but if you were the one texting and driving that got hitting  by another car… don’t look for excuses. Of course, it was an accident  things should get out of hand and end up in the court but I have had enough with blaming others! Wake up people, open your eyes and smell the fresh coffee and be responsible for your own acts. Live your life like a “good person” and enjoy what you have because you have honestly earn it.

4 years has rushed by so quickly. When I wrote my first blog my son was 10 and my daughter was 12. Life was a tad different then. I worked in an office 40 hours then worked many more hours on my web stuff into the wee small hours. My children weren’t quiet old enough to leave on their own of an eveing so life was rather boring.

Now I have two teenagers, even just saying that makes me feel so old, and my daughter will be 16 in a few weeks. Life has completely changed. I can go out in the evening, though Asda is about as exciting as it gets. But the biggest change is I left the comfy surrounding of an office and a regular wage and went self-employed. Mad choice but also the best choice I have ever made.

So what I have I learnt in the past 4 years?

Kids and Parenting:

Kids grow fast and just when you think you understand them you also realise you actually don’t understand them at all.

You have moments when it scares you how much you love your children and then moments when you’re not sure you actually like them.

You spend half their childhood wishing for 5 minutes peace then the other half wishing they would stay in and talk to you for just 5 minutes.

Pick your battles and only battle the really important ones.

You can’t be their best friend and dish out discipline. Choose which route you want and stick to it. Swapping and changing will only confuse them and it will come round and bite you on the bum.

No one ever said it would be easy.

Life and Stuff:

Life is short, you only get one stab at it and its better say you tried then spend a lifetime wishing you had.

Have a dream and don’t be scared to chase it.

Have a positive outlook and attitude, its far less exhausting then a negative one.

In blogging and having Confessions of a Single Mum I have met the most wonderful people. I have met normal everyday mums who inspire me daily. I have met mums that struggle daily and mums who have it better than most. I have met mums who make cry with laughter and mums who test my patience with their lack of simple manners.

I am honoured to have met them all and hope to meet a lot more.

So why do I feel guilty when a sales man, odd job man or anyone else I don’t know knocks at the door and I won’t answer? It’s my home. The door is there to let people I want into the house and just because they have rang the doorbell it doesn’t mean there is an automatic right for me to open the door. It’s my choice, my door and up to me who I open my door to.

The only problem is my front door is glass and I have huge windows in the front too so ignoring the front door is sometimes very obvious.   I try to keep busy so not look at them, so they ring the doorbell again and again.

But I stand by my choices and I will continue to ignore the door to people I don’t want to answer too. I just need to get better curtains.

We were back to depressing empty shops. But then we had new excitement. Two of the units were being knocked into one. We all got excited again. What would it be? A lovely big Next to get us shopping again? Maybe a department store? Were keen to get something good because the current choice to have a girly shop is rather lacking. We have New Look, Dorothy Perkins (upstairs above Burtons, very clever seeing as they are marketing to young mums with children and pushchairs) and TK Max. That’s it unless you’re a surfer as we do have a surf shop too.

So back to drum roll. What is going into the lovely now huge space? A 99p Store. We already have a pound land.

I think long gone are the days you spent the day in town looking at the shops. If we want that we now jump in the car for half an hour and go to the nearest town that does have more choice. But to put it plainly the cost of driving there in fuel, car parking and the whole hassle just doesn’t make it appealing.

But then towns aren’t doing themselves any favours. Car parking is expensive and stupidly its cheaper to stay for an hour than 2 or more, hardly entices you to stay longer and spend more.

But it’s not all the towns fault. Why would I dig out my willies and waterproofs to trudge around town when I can sit in the comfort of my own home, feet up, cuppa in hand and have a leisurely online shop at zalando. The cost of delivery is cheaper than paying for car parking and I’ve not got wet or cold in the process.

Lastly what sort of image is giving out to new businesses wanting to join our town? If they have done their homework they will know our town has the biggest catchment area in the countywhich, on paper, looks like there will be lots of people to buy. But if they see where a town of 99p stores and Poundlands doesn’t it portray as all being rather poor?

My dream consisted of me and the children having long lazy summery days filled with giggling and lazing on the lawn eating strawberries picked from the garden. The flowers I planted earlier in spring would all be in bloom giving lots of summery colour and scent. The evenings would be full of summary walks and BBQ’s sitting out late into the night watching the stairs.

In reality the strawberries got eaten by the birds and a squirrel. I swear the squirrel actually waved thank you as he pinched the last strawberry and ran up the garden path.  The flowers didn’t flower instead they just sort of sat there and did nothing. The sun didn’t shine, well no surprise there, apart from the odd day in-between days and days of rain.

But the end is near; I can smell the end of school holidays. This time next week they will both be back to school and I can get back into a routine. I thought, until a few weeks ago, I was rather laid back and took things as they come. I don’t do a weekly shop with all my meals planned out as to me that is boring. I rather get what I need when I need it and eat what I want on whatever day I want. But the school holidays reaffirms every year that I actually like routine. I like the fact that the kids go out the door at 8 and I sit at my desk to work at the same time. I like the fact they come home at 3 and this signals the end of my working day. The kids have been brilliant and know I have to work whilst they are home and do try to be quiet. Well as quiet as 2 teenagers can be. But I am out of my routine. We’re all going to bed later, which means we are all getting up later and I am now craving my routine back.

Of course the first week they are back I will be moaning and wishing the holidays back again.

I work from home using the computer so emailing all my customers (from the kids laptop) was first thing I had to do. Then it was trying to remember what else I had on there that was important to me. Smugly I didn’t worry as I thought well there’s nothing that important on there. How wrong was I. There were of course photos. Living in a digital age we all use a digital camera and then upload them to the computer thinking that’s all we need to do they are safe now.

But as the days followed I realised there was so much more. All my business accounts for this year and last year were on there.

My excel sheet for budgeting and managing my money, that I absolutely live by, was on there. I am so dependent on it I couldn’t spend any money as I was unsure what was yet to go out of the account. My trusty excel sheet does all that for me.

There are all the digi papers and images I use for crafting on there.

The list went on and on. Take something away and if you really need it you soon realise how much you use something.

This all could have been prevented if I actually looked after my computer and not got the computer virus in the first place. I admit I am a bit heartless and always thought it could look after itself. But now I have taken steps to prevent it happening again. First made sure the computer is actually safe. Then I have backed up the important files to an external source. Then I did a bit of housework and got rid of stuff I didn’t actually need any more and was just clogging up my machine. But hang on this is taking me all day once a week. I checked with a few nerdy friends and they said go to www.simplitec.com it does it all for you.

So that’s what I have done. Computer is now safe, clean and best of all faster. Why oh why didn’t anyone tell me this the first day I sat down at a computer.

Return to Work Credit – for those with a health condition or disability

In Work Credit – for those without a health condition or disability.

This is from the Direct Gov website …

Return to Work Credit is a tax-free payment of £40 per week for people that have, or have had, a health condition or disability.

It can be payable for up to 52 weeks as long as:

• your job is expected to last at least five weeks
• you are working on average over 16 hours a week
• your gross earnings do not exceed £288.46 per week, or £1,250 per month
• you are earning at least the National Minimum Wage
• you have been getting an incapacity benefit for 13 continuous weeks or more
• you have started work or will be starting work within the five-week period immediately after being entitled to a qualifying benefit
• you meet any other relevant requirements

You might not qualify if you claim either of the following benefits in the five weeks before starting work:

• Jobseeker’s Allowance
• Income Support as a lone parent

Changes to Return to Work Credit will be brought in for new claims to benefit from July 2013 onwards. This means there will be no new payments of Return to Work Credit from 1 October 2013.

Payments already in place on 1 October 2013 will continue for up to 52 weeks, as long as you meet the rules for getting the payment.

So in short its still available till 1 October 2103 and to claim it you have, or have had a health condition.

But this is In work credit . There is another benefit called In Work Credit. 

In Work Credit is a tax-free payment of £40 per week (£60 in London) for parents bringing up children alone. It is payable for up to 52 weeks on top of your earnings.

Who is eligible

If your benefit claim begins before 1 October 2012 you may get In Work Credit if you:

• are bringing up children on your own
• have a child living with you who is under the age of 16
• are starting work of at least 16 hours a week on average and getting a wage or salary that meets the National Minimum Wage (or you’re self employed)
• expect that work to last five weeks or more

Find out what the National Minimum Wage rates are by using the following link.

• The National Minimum Wage rates

See larger image Beating Chronic Fatigue: Your step-by-step guide to complete recovery (Paperback) By (author) Dr Kristina Downing-Orr List Price: £12.99 GBP New From: £4.91 In Stock Used from: £4.45 In Stock

A long time ago I bought the book Beating Chronic Fatigue. The poor book has been dragged everywhere, up to bed (and then I would fall asleep) back downstairs then I was too busy to open it. I have though finally had the chance to start reading through it.

It was first published in 2010 so it’s relatively newcomer on the book shelves offering suffers a glimmer of hope. The thing that drew me to it (and to buy it) is that it’s written Dr Kristina Downing-Orr and suffered from chronic fatigue. Also the way it is written it’s easy to understand, she doesn’t bombard you with facts and figures and long words that leave you searching for a dictionary every other word.

The book is broken down into three sections

First section is about the basics of CFS, diagnosing CFS, theories about the causes and the true causes.

The second section gives you two options to tackle CFS, the medical option and the nutritional option.

The third section covers managing your lifestyle as you recover from CFS. Things like coping with stress, getting active, getting fit and more.

The section I am interested in the nutritional option as I am not too keen on taking lots of tablets. A lot of it is common sense. Eat well, little and often. But what I like is she explains what your body is going through and why its reacting the way it does.

Im not going through the whole book here but I have started to change my diet after reading the book. I haven’t yet gone the whole hog as I think I will cope better by doing it gradually. The main thing I have done is switch to caffeine free coffee and eat a lot more vegetables and fruit in their purer form.

How am I doing? It will be long process and I am not expecting results over night, but I am feeling better , a lot better. So much so that I am rereading the book to hopefully start get to my goal of getting active again.

I’m not saying this book is THE book to end all books and of course everyone is different but I am learning a lot about the whys and wherefores of the whole CFS thing.

Is it in built that as kid’s brothers and sisters don’t get on? Is it the case that the more they hate each other as kids the better they get on when they are older? I ask in vain clutching at straws.

I really hope that when they are older they realise I really wasn’t being mean by having a second child or by having the first child to annoy the second. I want them to get on, be there for each other. To chat and support each other, not try to half murder each other or to make such an atmosphere that a carving knife would have trouble slicing through it.

Did you get on with your siblings when younger? Are you friends with them now? Do you wish you were an only child or maybe you’re an only child wishing the same for your children? Let me know.

I made mums money vouchers. I was telling another mum about them and had the brain wave of making some and putting them up on my craft site. You can get your Mums Money over at Karoove.

• First work out how much time your child spends on the computer or playstation.
• Then work out what you think is acceptable.
• Print off enough vouchers to cover the time.
• On a set day, dish out the vouchers for your child to spend throughout the following week. ( I said to mine they could spend the vouchers whenever they wanted. If they spent them all in one day that was fine but I wouldn’t be dishing out any more till the set day the following week. )
• Then on the same day the following week dish out the vouchers again.

There are bonus vouchers that you can give out when you want to reward ( or bribe ) your child and you can always take vouchers away for bad behaviour.

My two were between 10 and 14 when I started this and it wasn’t long before they realised how much time they were wasting on the computer and started to manage their online and gaming time better. So much so we stopped using them.

Mums Money saved me so many arguments on computer and playstation usage; I hope it helps you too.

So, as I started saying, I got thinking. Why do I work so much? Well the convenience thing is the main bit. Quick hop, skip and a jump over the back of the sofa and I am in my office space. So how can I change that? Well I don’t own my house so there is no equity to release to help with a lovely extension. And the only thing I could realistically fit in the garden is a rabbit hatch, hardly big enough to get a desk in let alone all the craft stuff. By the way, if you are a homeowner and the words “equity release” catch your eyes either because you want to find out more or because you only need to know if you can qualify check the Age Partnership equity release guide for all the information related. As I said, that option doesn’t work for me so send me other ideas.

I could look at getting a craft/office space so that I went out to work and when I am home I don’t do any work But that sort of undo’s all the positives that I wanted from working from home. Things like the low cost, always being here for the kids, working when I want and all the other positives.

Another thing making me think on all this I now want the whole of my lounge back. Growing teenage legs and kittens in a lounge office combo really doesn’t work.

Bright ideas on a post card please.

First off I wasnt too concerned and contacted customers who have been understanding. The old kids laptop was prized out of their hands and commondered for emergency ‘mum’ work. Within 4 hours the laptop flickered its last flicker. Phone call to IT chap who instructed me to do this and that and report back. On reporting back to him he had to break it to me the laptop just died of old age. (dramatic silence to pay respects to the laptop that solidierd on till the end)

I cant remember the last time I didnt have a computer on or acces too one. ( I’ve borrowed a laptop for a meeting on Monday , hence a mad couple of hours catching up on the www) Its scary how much I use one. I know I use the computer a lot , well I make websites so it is a bit of a nessitity but small things like looking up phone numbers or checking a shops opening times.

So with my forced week off what have I achieved?

I have manged to make two cards after setting myself a challange, blitz the craft table, paint a wall in the lounge purple and one in my room red, the teen got a pale pink wall and younger teens will be choosing his next week.I’ve watched a lot of people running, swimming, throwing things, jumping things and winning gold medals and thats about it. I have relaxed and not got up at 7am to start on emails and such like or still been at a computer way past my bedtime.

On the whole I have quiet enjoyed the week but I am starting to get a little stir crazy and if computer ends up with IT man for another week I may not remain as calm and chirpy as I am.