http://www.inc.com/empact/bill-gates-warren-buffett-and-oprah-all-use-the-5-hour-rule.html

The author of this article states “Many of these leaders, despite being extremely busy, set aside at least an hour a day (or five hours a week) over their entire career for activities that could be classified as deliberate practice or learning.”
Is this what you do? She goes on to reflect that this “learning” can be subdivided into:-
(1) Read
(2) Reflect
(3) Experiment

Do you think this is useful?

photo by Claudio Toledo on Flickr

7 Practical Tips For Boosting Your Self-Esteem

by Ricky P O’ Shea

Having healthy self-esteem is the building blocks for happy, vibrant living. It means you have confidence in yourself and your abilities whereas as having low self-esteem can mean you lack confidence in yourself and never reach your true potential.

The good news is that if your self-esteem could do with a boost then there are small changes that can make a big difference. It all starts with reprogramming your beliefs and weeding out the negative inner-dialogue. To help you get started, consider the following tips for boosting your self-esteem.

Selective ignorance

The feedback and solicitations from others can greatly impact your own state of being. Choose to source your information wisely, limiting negative media in place of more positive media such as seminars or educational activities. Surround yourself with others who are positive and bring out the best in you and avoid allowing the negativity of others to affect your own judgement.

Comfort Zone

If we don’t push ourselves outside of our comfort zones then we have nothing to build on. You’d be surprised what you can achieve if you put your mind to it so take the plunge once in a while and take on new challenges. In doing so you’ll naturally grow in confidence and give your self-esteem a much-needed boost.

Negative Inner-Dialogue

Our inner-dialogue greatly influences our reality! If your inner-dialogue and thought patterns are generally negative then your self-esteem is bound to be lower. Weed out any negative thought patterns such as “I can’t” or “I’m not good enough” and replace them with positive ones instead.

Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are extremely effective for overcoming limiting beliefs. By repeatedly stating something to yourself you can slowly empower yourself with positive thoughts and beliefs. You can find many resources for affirmations online but the real key is to make them present tense, positive and stating an outcome you desire.

Stop Comparing

Media and society in general has a knack at making us feel we need to fit in. However, this simply isn’t true! We are each unique and each have our own set of strengths and weaknesses. Avoid feeling inadequate by comparing your weaknesses against others and focus instead on developing your strengths.

Accept Compliments

It’s easy to assume someone is lying or has ulterior motives when you’re passed a compliment but more often than not it’s genuine. Learn to accept compliments gracefully in order to strengthen your confidence. It will also help you to discover what you’re good at so you can further develop your strengths.

Reward Yourself

We often neglect to acknowledge our achievements and pass them off as something not worth gloating about. But, your achievements, no matter how trivial they seem, should be rewarded. It’s important to remind yourself that you’re a valued person and that you deserve to be rewarded and acknowledged for your achievements.

Wrapping It Up

In this article we’ve covered a few simple but effective ways to boost your self-esteem. Most important of all is reprogramming your beliefs and inner-dialogue. If you weed out the self-limiting thought patterns and replace with positive statements your self-esteem will naturally grow.

Facing a particularly traumatic phase in your life?

If so,then try these 3 painless strategies for overcoming low self-esteem during trying times.

http://path-to-happiness.com/confidence/self-esteem/how-to-overcome-low-self-esteem/

Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Simple huh! Unfortunately “reprogramming your beliefs and inner-dialogue” isn’t that simple. Learning to accept compliments and rewarding yourself are good habits to get into and over the long term will help. I’m a great believer in stepping outside your comfort zone, but this is more of a benefit for self confidence rather than self esteem. I’m not sure how realist this “surrounding yourself” with positive people is, and there is eveidence that positive affirmations can be counter productive.

With a title 7 Smart Ways to Build Self Confidence, I thought Mohamed Tohami in Lost-Media.net may buck the trend.  Well, the result is very mixed. Here are his “smart ways”:-

1 Travel

2. Walk on Fire

3. Express yourself

4. Join a Toastmasters Chapter

5. Learn one new skill every year (at least)

6. Break a Record!

7. Study Self Confidence.

I think the last item is somewhat ironic as by studying self confidence you will have to wade through a swamp of contradictory advice! You’ll most likely end up confused rather than more confident.

Skills to Build Self Confidence

As ever, amongst the bizarre ideas – fire walking, camping in the desert! – comes an odd gem. Building skills is often overlooked. However, as a foundation for great self confidence there is nothing better.

We tend to forget we have many skills. As a child we learn to walk and talk. We start to dress ourselves and communicate more meaningfully. Once we start school it becomes an uphill slog – as soon as we learn to write we have to start sitting tests and exams. I have three daughters in their early twenties who seem to have been doing nothing but exams for as long as I can remember!

But we learn skills. Unfortunately we seldom give ourselves credit for what we can do. As part of my reflection in my daily journal, I reinforce to myself how skilled and how wonderful I am. No one but me reads this, so I can (and should) be as boastful as I like. With low self esteem and/or self confidence there is a tendency to downplay our achievements – so make them shine here.

Learn New Skills

I think Mohamed has an excellent point with his “point 5”, learning a new skill. he says:-

Increase your skill set regularly. Every year you should at least have acquired a new skill. With a powerful skill-set under your belt, you will be confident in your ability to get things done. You’ll have more experience and you’ll gain more confidence in your ability to deal with different life situations.

For the past three months I have been learning mindfulness – which is in itself a skill which can help self confidence. If you are interested I can strongly recommend the site I have been using to learn from Get Some Headspace.  You can try it out for ten sessions for free. I will write more about mindfulness in a later post.

My main criticism remains – walking faster and sitting in the front row are rather weird suggestions and hardly likely to have the desired effect.  If you lack self confidence you will feel very self conscious sitting in the front and feel worse.  There is no guarantee you will eventually get over that and feel more confident.

Feeling the fear and doing it anyway – as in Susan Jeffers book title – doesn’t work for everyone.  If you go along this route its about coming to terms that we have learnt to feel fear and associate it with that activity.  And, unless you are short sighted or hard of hearing, what actually do you achieve by sitting in the front?

Gratitude builds self confidence

Ironically the video misses the best tip in the original article – having gratitude:-

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum.

This is something I do everyday in a form of journalling.  The first step I take is to reflect upon what I have to be grateful for. This can vary from family and friends to aspects of the environment around me – the sea, forest, the crazy weather we have (can’t remember who said it, but “never judge the day by the weather…”).

This list doesn’t have to be big things, and it certainly doesn’t have to be unique.  You’ll end it constantly repeating things like your good health and the men, women and children in your life.  But don’t forget the little stuff or more obscure  – being able to hear the birds sing, being able to walk/see/taste/smell,  living in a country where I can voice my opinion/vote, watching a comedy show on TV last night.

Even the things we moan about,  such as expensive car bills, can be turned into gratitude – at least you can afford a car. Reminds me of a favourite quote:-

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.

Steve Jobs  Stanford University in 2005

This “commencement address” is now well known. I want to focus near the end; At 9:10  Steve says:-

“When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

Steve, of course, has now had his last day at the age of 56.  When I started to write this post the papers and internet are full of stories about the death, at 48 , of Whitney Houston. This final part of Steve’s speech hammers home the fact that we are all mortal; You need to have the confidence to live the life you want – not what someone else wants:-

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life… Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice… Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.”

Peak Moments Revisited

Reading, and responding to, comments is one of the joys of blogging. And I do now try to say thanks to genuine comments!

Quite often I have received comments that give a totally new angle on what I had originally written. Occasionally people share personal experiences related to the topic I have started.

But let me quote Bruce Blair commenting on People are Awesome :-

“I agree people are amazing and peak moments are something to contemplate. I was in a position once where a man pointed a pistol at me and pulled the trigger – click! A second click! He ran. I have had trouble getting excited about much ever since. I still had to function and found out I could with a clear head. Been in ER medicine ever since. My peak moment.”

Its not unusual when people have peak moments that are also death defying, such as Bruce’s, for them to be life changing events. You hear that when people survive car crashes or other accidents or incidents that could have turned out very differently.

As in the original post I’m going to quote again from the excellent Chris Guillebeau’s Art of Non-Conformity

“Instead of responding to trauma, therefore, it’s better if you can avoid a wake-up call like that to create change in your life. You don’t have to wait for a 9/11, a car crash, another near brush with death to think about what really matters. You can do so right now, today, no matter what else is happening in your life.”

Chris was reflecting on two books he had read which dealt with how people lived their lives when told of terminal illness and in effect given a date around which they would die. That can be even more of a wake-up call than surviving a near death experience.

In such circumstances many took the route of living each day more deliberately, making definite plans and choosing projects to do that were most important to them. The sad thing is waiting till we have such a jolt before switching from living each day passively, as if we had an infinite number.

Live Each Day as if Your Last

I wrote a recent post around the regrets of the dying. I’m not generally morbid and this will be the last on this theme (for now!).  But it does appear that death – either when we are reminded that we could go at any-time, or when its imminent – focusses the mind. Although Steve Jobs says he read and was affected by the quote above at the age of 17, I’m sure it was his first brush with cancer that inspired that speech.

So why does it have to happen this way? Do we need a life changing event to kick start us into action? And like Bruce, has something dramatic sparked your life?  Do share your experiences and thoughts.

photos by blakespot and vectorportal.com on flickr

Oh my god! It is almost 12 noon and I am still stuck with this report. What will I do? I must make haste! Will I make it? Working in this pace is going to make me lose my job. I’m running out of time! Me? Fired? Oh, no! Rent’s due this Friday. What am I going to do?”

If this is the beat constantly playing in your work life, then I guess it is only a matter of time until this tune will beat the goodness out of you. This melody of anxiety can be quite disgruntling. The stress of trying to finish work before the deadline, the pressure of improving your work performance and the strain of meeting obligations and other responsibilities can cause extreme problems to your nerves.

Mind you. Your nerves can only handle too much. When they get smashed and thrashed all over the place with all the adrenaline and relentless worrying that you do, they will lose their functionality. This, unfortunately, will lead to the development of anxiety disorders.

If you wish to avoid this fate, here are some of the best techniques to help you cope with all the stress and anxiety surrounding you.

1. Calm down

At the first sign of anxiety, keep yourself calm. Your heart may beat so fast. Your breathing may turn difficult. Your muscles may grow tense. Your head may spin around. But never ever lose your composure. Get hold of yourself and try not to panic. The more you fret, the more you worry and the greater and more extreme the feelings of anxiety will become.

2. Take a deep breath

Deep breathing exercises are the easiest and fastest way of keeping yourself calm. When things go out of hand and time seems to be running out, pause for a while and do deep breathing. This simple exercise of filling up your lungs with air will help solve the oxygen-carbon dioxide imbalance that may cause the symptoms of anxiety.

3. Light a scented candle

Certain fragrances from your favorite scents such as lavender, chamomile, and jasmine trigger a relaxation response. Their calming whiff helps to lift your emotions. Hence, when you are feeling a little blue or tensed, light up a scented candle and fill your home with their aroma.

4. Listen to a happy song

Songs as they say are “food for the soul.” They sate the pains, sorrows, anxieties, and worries that lie beneath the core. If you are feeling tensed, putting on your favorite cd and listening to the tunes being played will help soothe your aches and pains. You can try to play songs with lively or positive beat. But it is up to you. What is important is that you enjoy the music.

5. Stretch your limbs

Strained muscles often need a little bit of stretching to loosen them up. Being slumped in work for hours can cause pressure in your back and muscles. This piled up tension can be annoying and painful at times. Practising some toe touches before you hit the sack for at least 5 minutes will help relieve those soreness and muscle cramps.

6. De-clutter

The mess and chaos of your surroundings greatly add to the anxiety you are experiencing. To trim them down, clearing the clutter from your home can essentially help to de-clutter your mind as well.

7. Ditch the coffee

This step can be a tough one. But taking this can do wonders to alleviate your anxiety. As delicious as coffee can be, you have to ditch this addiction because the caffeine it contains makes your nerves jolt, leaving you anxious from morning till noon. So, wean yourself from coffee soon. Try drinking green tea instead.

8. Visualize greenery

Your imagination is a strong tool that can help you achieve clarity and relaxation. Closing your eyes when anxiety hits and picturing a serene setting where you can escape to and become completely immersed in are effective means of leaving your anxiety out of the picture.

9. Get a massage

A good body massage does not only promote relaxation but also healthy blood circulation. With every inch of your body receiving adequate supply of oxygenated blood, your cells and nerves will be in good working condition. When they are working properly, bouts of anxieties will be prevented. Moreover, massage therapy is proven to enhance EEG pattern of alertness and math computations. So, pamper yourself. Go to a spa and get your needed massage.

10. Munch on chocolate

Chocolate acts like an amphetamine in the body. It helps to increase your mood leading to feelings of happiness, alertness and excitement.
Just take it in moderation. Eating more than enough is no longer good for the body.

To be anxiety-free takes dedication. You need to commit so that the process will be successful. You can follow these simple techniques to get started. They are proven to help resolve the worries and fears you are experiencing. Take your pick and see what works for you. The changes won’t be overnight though, but you’re on your way.

 Photos by MCCchurch and Jim Linwood on Flickr

The thoughts of those who know they have very limited time left have often been wake up calls to the rest of us.  I discussed Randy Pausch’s last lecture a couple of years ago – now over 14 million views on YouTube! His main message was

“never stop dreaming, never stop trying to achieve those dreams”

There has  been other work about the great truths to be found in the last moments of life, notably “Seize the Day” (formerly titled “Intimate Death”) by Marie de Hennezel.  From her work as a psychologist in palliative care her message is very much about making the most of life while we have it – not forgetting our mortality.

“You just need to realise that life is precious, and remember that every day.”

Regrets of the Dying

I have recently come across a blog written by someone else who has worked in palliative care. She also wrote down and collected the dying thoughts of those she cared for. And now the author, Bonnie Ware, has also published a book based around an article on her site:- Regrets of the Dying.

Whilst its well worth visiting her blog and reading the article, the 5 regrets she highlights are as follows:-

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Apparently this was the most common regret of all. People died knowing it was choices they had made, rather than “circumstances” that had let these dreams slip by. Once your health starts to fade, it becomes increasingly difficult to catch up:-

“Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This was predominately a male concern, many who had missed the golden years of their children’s lives by being at work.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Feelings are usually suppressed to keep the peace with others. However,

“…although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Many had let golder friendships slip over the years, caught up in their own lives:-

“It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Not realising till it was too late that happiness was an option; Stuck in their comfort zone, letting fear of change prevent them from living the life they truly desired. With the ultimate self confidence booster:-

“When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind.”

But before you spend £20 on the book…

Some of these ideas do seem rather cliched and could have been used to close an episode of Desperate Housewives.  And do the dying have any special “clarity of vision” – especially if they are taking high doses of pain killers?

It could be argued that the advice is both selfish and goes against any attempt at stability in your life.  Don’t bother working hard (be lazy – why bother with a career); Say what you think (who cares who you hurt or offend);  Cling onto all friends (which takes some maintenance, other things may be more important); Do what you want (which may mean abandoning family, friends and other structures around you); Be happy (not in itself an achievable  goal).

These regrets are also formed with the benefit of hindsight.  And in some ways a regret is another way of framing “I should have...” or “shouldn’t have“, rather than accepting that throughout life we make choices.  We will all make mistakes, suffer setbacks and failures, but that’s all part of life’s rich tapestry…

And whilst we’re having regrets…

I haven’t touched on the ethical issues relating to this article and book, nor how valid  and reliable the “data” is.  My wife has worked in palliative care for 25 years and says she would be struck off for such an enterprise. And the blog gives no indication of how many subjects or what sort of cross section of society they represented.

But whatever the criticisms, the joy of such  articles and books is it makes you think and reflect.  Question your own life, and in particular reminds you of your mortality.

I frequently reflect on what I have to be thankful for, starting with so many things we take for granted such as living in a safe, stable country with sufficient food and water. I’m sure when my time comes its these sort of thoughts I’ll treasure – the regrets won’t get a look in. How about you?

Photos by David Rogers; bark on Flickr; cogdogblog on Flickr

In my post “Are affirmations useless?” I discussed one of the founders of personal development, Samuel Smiles. In the 19th century his “Self Help” was only out sold by the bible! The underlying message from Smiles was that success came through dedication and hard work.

He didn’t appear to believe in the concept of “genius”, all those he portrayed in his case studies got there by hard graft and application.

In that post I made a reference to Malcom Gladwell, who has published 3 excellent books. His “Outliers” makes reference to and develops the “10,000” hours theory; successful people – such as The Beatles – get there through many hours of toil rather than innate ability.

Bounce – How Champions are Made

This is carried to another level by Matthew Syed in his book “Bounce” His argument is that for any significantly complex human activity natural talent is not particularly important. Top achievement is the consequence of huge amounts of what he calls “purposeful” or “disciplined” practice.

The desire to work hard is what most high achievers have in common. This is usually sparked by an early enthusiasm (although this may be brought on by parental enthusiasm as well!) and opportunity.

In Syed’s case his parents happened to buy a full size table tennis (ping-pong) table, he had an older brother to practice with and there happened to be both a local club and an inspiring coach available. On these latter two points he lists numerous other players who emerged from his club to become international players:-

“for a period in the 1980’s, this one street, and the surrounding vicinity, produced more outstanding table tennis players than the rest of the nation combined.”

There are a number of compelling and inspiring case studies in the book, some of the most interesting away from the sporting arena. This includes a fireman of many years experience instinctively knowing something “was not quite right” when evacuating his men minutes before a building collapses.

But its in sports like tennis and cricket (which you don’t have to know about to enjoy the book!) that Syed is best at demonstrating that the skills of champions are not innate, but learned. This includes the ideas of perceptual compression and domain specific knowledge, where a top player apprehends and understands a situation so much more quickly.

Whilst a fireman interprets patterns to indicate danger in a building, Roger Federer anticipates where the ball is going to go from accurate inferences via the movement patterns of his opponent. This is not something he was born with, but learnt through hours of practice.

Syed uses his own expedience at the Sydney Olympics to illustrate how choking occurs. The hours of practice leads to a competitor using their “unconscious competence” to win their matches. But in the pressure of a big event they may try to move back to doing the task more consciously. However, this disrupts their flow, and they start analysing, rather than letting their body react “automatically”.

Self Confidence and the Power of Belief

As well as hard work, Bounce takes in other factors such as motivation..

“..clocking up thousands of hours of purposeful practice ultimately determines how far we make it along the path to excellence: but its only those who care about the destination, whose motivation is “internalised” who are ever going to get there.”

And the book also takes in the effect of coaches in harnessing effort. Of tennis coach Nick Bollettieri…

“he praises effort, never talent; he eulogizes about the transformational power of practice at every opportunity; he preaches the vital importance of hard work during every interruption in play.”

But I must mention discussions he has on the power of belief – as often performers go into events with irrational beliefs they will win (for example when there is clear evidence their opponents can run faster, etc.). This “performance placebo” has been tested to work…

“the ‘positive thinking‘ group completed their task significantly more quickly than the ‘negative thinking‘ group, even though there was no difference in ability between the two groups…. irrational beliefs can boost performance, provided they are held with sufficient conviction.”

So positive thinking, believing we can, does help us if we hold that belief with conviction. Which I think we all would see as making sense and an essential component of self confidence.

But as my last post was “self confidence in 15 minutes” its important to reflect that becoming good at something does take effort. And if you want self confidence, being good, having ability, certainly help!

Photos by laverrue and toga on Flickr

Improve your self confidence in 15 minutes

I used to be frighteningly under confident in social situations. And although people who know me now would never believe I used to doubt myself so much I literally had to learn confidence until it became a natural part of me. I can tell you relaxed optimistic confidence is just, well so much more fun.

Here I’ll tell you about the things that made the most difference to my confidence levels…

Some people have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody can learn to be more confident

Firstly, it’s important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won’t know when you’ve got it! So, self confidence means:

1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional ‘leakage’ into a experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations.

2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be ‘cool’ in a situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything.

3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. You know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before you go there but when you get there it is totally different to your imagination? That’s how reliable your imagination is! Stop trusting your imagination so much. I’ve long since stopped bothering to imagine what others think of me because so often I’ve turned out to be wrong.

4) Being specific – where do you want confidence? ‘Confidence‘ is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and off. So you don’t need more confidence everywhere. To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what you do want. Where do you want confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now and write them down. You beginning to steer your brain towards confidence.

5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do to bring about the completion of that task. If you’ve tried to recall someone’s name but can’t, hours later you’ll often find their name pops into your head.

The ‘trying to recall’ experience set the task or blueprint for your brain’s future subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you – when you weren’t thinking about it consciously. You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital.

6) Don’t task your mind with negatives. Instead of: ‘I don’t want to screw up’ (which sets the task of ‘screwing up’ for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your brain doesn’t work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set the right task blueprints with.

7) Use nature’s goal-setter: Now you understand how vital it is to set the right task for you brain, you need to know how to do this reliably. Good hypnosis will strongly ‘program’ the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination. If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed while in a relaxed hypnotic state it will be hard for your unconscious mind to do anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.

3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:

1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel confident in. Remember ‘confidence’ doesn’t mean anything until you attach it to something specific.

2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as ‘calm’, ‘relaxed’ or ‘focused’. Remember your brain works on clear positive instructions.

3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words feel. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or ‘task’ for your unconscious mind.

You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic cd or download that can make the benefits even more powerful (see my profile below). So if you feel like you’d be blessed with less confidence than some other people you can start redressing the balance by using your mind in the right way right now.

It took me years to learn how to be more confident – now you can do it in a fraction of the time. Good luck!

Boost your confidence now at HypnosisDownloads.com

Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.

Photo by Sukanto Debnath on Flickr

A job that entailed making public appearances , being the centre of attention,  when you were shy and reserved.  A job that involved making speeches in front of thousands, and live broadcasts to millions, when you were inflicted by a terrible stutter.

The Kings Weaknesses

I‘m sure many of you have seen the Academy Award winning film, “The King’s Speech“. This depicts the story of how the future King George VI (who wasn’t “scheduled” to be King until his brother abdicated) received help so he could fulfil his royal duties. Even before he became King his role representing the Crown necessitated public appearances and speeches.

He was plagued from childhood by a series of medical ailments.   His early career in the Navy was somewhat hampered by seasickness (again it was a job that he didn’t have much choice about) and constant stomach problems (later diagnosed as an ulcer). In his 8 years of naval service he spent most of the time in hospital or recuperating.

As well as seeing the film I recently read the book of the same name, based on the diaries of Lionel Logue. He  effectively became the Royal Speech Therapist. What the book makes clearer than the film is the depth of how physically frail and nervous a person the future George VI was.

Colin Firth, who portrayed him in the film, won an Oscar for his stammering and overall performance as this tortured sole. But couldn’t disguise the fact he is 6″ taller and physically very well built.

Confidence in Public Speaking

Many people fear public speaking, and take whatever steps they can to avoid having to face this fear. One of my first posts on this blog was about a young man giving a speech at his fathers wedding!

The reason I wanted to highlight the Kings  Speech was it gives a wonderful example of a person gaining in confidence so he could perform well as a public speaker.  This, despite the fact he had major impediments in his way. To do this he:-

1) Worked VERY HARD, to a degree that would put an Olympic athlete to shame. The future King and Logue initially worked together for 7 months, meeting daily when the royal duties permitted. Even when away on tour, George religiously carried out the exercises set by Logue.

2) The second factor in building his confidence, particularly when George became King and had to broadcast live to millions of people, was the meticulous preparation they went through. Logues role was as much to check the speech and mark spaces to pause for breath – and to change any difficult works that may trip the King.

3)  He had support – not just from Logue but from his wife.  Having strong people around you  for encouragement and to share the pain and triumphs, to motivate when you feel in despair, is incredibly important. And their confidence is infectious.

4) What choice did he have? He started from a position of total humiliation (his first major speech in London in 1925) and from having effectively proven unfit for purpose in the Navy.  He had no idea when he started working with Logue that he would one day be King, but needed to be sufficiently confident to perform his then job as the Duke of York.  Had he not been up to the task when he succeeded his brother, in all likelihood the monarchy would have collapsed.

 What if…

I‘m not trying to ignore the fact this was a man born into a position of great wealth and privilege, who of course could afford to pay for the intensive services of Logue. But it was only because of this accident of birth that he was compelled to try and overcome these barriers to his public speaking.

I think this story illustrates you can gain confidence – and become confident enough to perform well – even though you remain fearful and are attempting something that ultimately you are not best suited. Whilst George gained in confidence, he never lost his hatred of the dreaded microphone. As is apparent in the video clip, his stutter never totally went away.

But its also fascinating to  speculate what would have happened if Logue hadn’t emigrated to England (from Australia) or if Georges wife hadn’t persuaded him to “have a last try” after many previous failures at overcoming his speech impediment. And particularly if Logue hadn’t been so accomplished at what was then an unrecognised profession.

Imagine Great Britain with a President instead of a Queen and Royal Family!!!

photos (in public domain) via wikipedia