conservation of momentum

Trusting God for provision

2026-10-08T21:01:42.115-06:00

I continue to try to figure out why I push myself so hard. Too hard. I'm hurting myself and my family.

I think it is related to both shame and fear. At least some part of it is that I care too much about what other people think, and I want people to approve of me. I don't want to risk being ashamed of myself.

I also have an irrational fear of not having enough money to meet my family's basic needs.

Jesus said, "Do not worry." About tomorrow. About having enough food, clothes, shelter, ... Somehow, I still have an orphan mindset, that I have to provide for myself.

God gave the Israelites manna in the desert. They only needed to gather enough for today. Gathering extra for tomorrow is a wasted effort, because it will spoil. I want to trust Him that I only have to work enough for today.

On August 8, we had a small men's retreat, and we began by meditating on Psalm 23. I was impressed that it is good for me to depend on God. He is my Father, and I am his child. He is the shepherd, and I am a sheep.

I've been journalling in a handwritten journal, trying to learn to hear and listen to God's voice. Last Sunday, the pastor gave us a minute to listen to God's voice at the end of the service. I asked him about my desire to help people around the world with clean/safe water.

He said I don't need to have it all figured out. He reminded me of the parable about the farmer who goes to sleep, and the crop grows while he is resting, without him even understanding how.

Mark 4:26-29 NIV — He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.”

After the season of depending on daily manna, the promised land was already rich and abundant, flowing with milk and honey before they took over. God gave them the abundance of the enemy. And God promised them that if they were good steward and honored the weekly Sabbath, the Sabbath year, and the year of Jubilee, they would continue to overflow with abundance.

Father, I want to trust you. I want to give you my shame and fear and receive your approval and unconditional love. Please forgive me for my pride and arrogance, thinking that I can take care of myself. I need you. You are my saviour. I depend on you. Thank you for loving me and caring for me. I love you.

Identity: sinner vs child of God

2026-07-21T05:56:05.323-06:00

Jesus contrasts two mindsets: sinners an children of God.

Luke 6 NIV
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

I have heard some well-intentioned people say, "I'm just a sinner, saved by grace." But from Luke 6 and 2 Cor 5, it is clear that our identity changes when we become children of God:

2 Cor 5 NIV

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! ... 21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Through faith in Jesus, we are a new creation. I think it is fundamental to us operating as the righteousness of God that we reckon our former identity (i.e., sinner) as dead.

Gal 2:19-21 NIV

For through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!

Father, thank you for making a way for us to become your children through faith in Jesus. Jesus, thank you for being the Way. Holy Spirit, please empower me to live for God, keeping in step with you. I love you.

Certainty of our faith

2026-06-25T06:45:08.242-06:00

Luke 1

Luke, who learned faith in Jesus second-hand, set out to write a careful account to Theophilus (symbolic of those who love God).

V. 4

"so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught."

We can be sure of our faith in Jesus. It is not a fairy tale. It is not a philosophy. It is a relationship of trusting the one who loves us so much that He was willing to die for us to bring us back to the Father.

Father, thank you for providing the Scriptures for us. Thank you that we can be sure of our faith in Jesus. Jesus thank you for your amazing life. I love you.

Scripture and God's power

2026-06-05T07:32:17.808-06:00

When Jesus was questioned about a hypothetical situation involving a woman who married each of seven brothers, He explained that the hypothetical situation and their conclusions were erroneous because they were ignorant of both the Scriptures and the power of God.

I want to avail myself to experience both, every day.

Father, draw me in to know you through your Scripture and your power. I want to walk as a son. May others see your goodness and love through me. I love you.

That we and grace might reign

2026-04-03T04:42:00.001-06:00

Rom 5

17 For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!

...

21 so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

God is patient in judgement. Jesus made a way for us to transition from being in bondage to sin and death to reigning in abundant life and grace.

Choose life. Choose grace.

Father, I love you. Thank you for your patience, mercy, and grace! Help me choose life, every day! Jesus, I want to reign with you and your grace. Holy Spirit, help me listen to you.

Holy versus perfect

2026-02-28T11:57:00.001-07:00

I have lived most of my life with a false notion that something needed to perfect to be used by God. I'm discovering that my perspective of "perfect" is a mirage. I'm learning that Jesus was the perfect sacrifice, so I don't have to try to be perfect on my own to be used by God. I need to rest on the surety of His mercy and the abundance of His grace.

I'm also learning that, actually, something needs to be holy to be used by God. Holy means "set apart."

Father, you have chosen to set me apart for your purposes. You make me holy. I yield and submit to you. Please help me give up my tendency to strive in my own strength to please you; this tendency stems from a deception that I can make myself good enough for you, originating from pride in the depths of my soul. I confess my arrogance and wrong thinking, and I repent. I want to be a humble man, entirely dependent on your love and faithfulness. I love you.

Castle

2026-01-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

I haven't been sleeping well recently, waking up between 2:30a and 4:00a. I start thinking about my to-do list at work, and then I remember other things I need to add to my list. But I feel like it is a spiritual attack on my sleep to try to get me discouraged and steal my joy.

I was telling Dalton yesterday that on the one hand, I see King David referring to God has his refuge, strong tower, etc., so I can simply rest in the goodness of God and his protection. On the other hand, is God allowing this to happen for me to learn to stand up for myself and fight back?

Dalton shared a concept of me inside a castle, and the enemy is banging on the gate. He can't get inside, but he can cause a disturbance. This visual was really helpful.

I believe I have the delegated authority to tell the enemy to stop and desist.

Father, you are my castle. I am safe within your protection. Jesus, you are the gate. Holy Spirit, please instruct me in how to issue stop and desist orders to the enemy. I love you.

Defense alone is insufficient to win

2026-01-20T20:35:00.001-07:00

I've been practicing a little chess recently. I can usually do ok with respect to defense, but I lack offensive strategy.

This evening, Jude pinned his wrestling opponent in less than 15 seconds.

You can't win without offense.

Jesus's incarnation, ministry, death, and resurrection were offensive attacks against the kingdom of darkness.

Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil.

I feel it is time for me to be more aggressive with spiritual offensive strategy.

Father, thank you for your light glowing through me. Jesus, thank you for your living water flowing through me. Holy Spirit, thank you for your presence and power. Please teach me how to be like Jesus. I love you.

Energy gradient

2026-01-02T05:06:00.001-07:00

I heard someone postulate that a mechanical force (measured in Newtons or pounds) might be a mathematical construct to simply replace an energy gradient (N•m/m or ft•lbf/ft).

I want to be a conduit for God's goodness, hope, peace, and love to flow though me. As his power (energy per time) flows through me, dynamically, it might look like waves of spiritual energy radiating out from me. Springs of living water flowing from within me.

Father, please flow your goodness and love through me. Please remove whatever hinders you from flowing more powerfully though me. I break agreement with self-criticism, and I make agreement with your love, mercy, grace, hope, and peace. Thank you for your peace through Jesus, and thank you for your presence through Holy Spirit. I love you.

Joy from prayers fulfilled

2025-12-12T05:17:00.000-07:00

John 16:24 Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

I'm not talking about the "prosperity gospel" here. But if we ask God for something in the name of Jesus to advance/reveal the Kingdom, our joy will overflow when the prayer is answered.

I want to pray for things that only God can do so that He gets the credit. And I get to celebrate Him.

Father, help me see what an amazing father you are. You are good and kind to all. Holy Spirit, please teach me what it means to ask the Father in the name of Jesus. I love you.

Thankful for Father's provision

2025-11-15T05:33:00.001-07:00

About five years ago, I had an idea for a zero-waste brackish groundwater desalination with the low-salinity product water used to irrigate salt-sensitive food crops and the concentrate used to irrigate salt-tolerant crops. This past week, I had the privilege of traveling to Antigua to see this idea realized through funding from the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) of the United Nations. I am very thankful for the Father's provision for this idea to be brought to reality. And I had the privilege of meeting the folks who will benefit from the system.

I was scheduled to make it back home today, and I was going to miss Rhett's football playoff game, but I saw that there was an earlier connecting flight in Miami, so I ran through the airport, customs, security, to the gate, and the gate attendant finally let me on the earlier flight. Then another gate attendant in DFW helped me get on an earlier flight to Lubbock, so I made it back home last night. I am so thankful for the Father's favor.

Father, thank you for being so kind to me. You are such an amazing person! I love you!

The fields are white for harvest

2025-10-27T04:55:00.000-06:00

As we were driving back from a family reunion in Fort Worth yesterday, we saw several cotton fields that looked like they would produce a large yield and are ready to be harvested. I wonder if that's what Jesus saw, spiritually, when He said,

"Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest." John 4:35b ESV

Sometimes I hesitate to engage people in spiritual conversation because I think they might not want to hear it, but I need to recognize that as a lie from the enemy because my master said the harvest is plentiful, and the harvest is ready.

As we drove yesterday, I felt a sense of urgency for the farmers to get the cotton out of the field before inclement weather. I wonder if that is what Jesus felt when He told us to ask Father to send out more workers into the harvest:

Matthew 9:37-38 ESV

37 Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few;

38 therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest."

Father, I want to be a faithful harvester. Jesus, I believe you that the harvest is abundant, and it is ready. Holy Spirit, please guide me. Father, please send out more workers. Thank you for the privilege of joining you in your work. I love you.

Jesus is Immanuel

2025-10-16T05:04:00.000-06:00

‭Psalms 115:1-8 NIV‬

[1] Not to us, [Yahweh], not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness. [2] Why do the nations say, "Where is their God?" [3] Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him. [4] But their idols are silver and gold, made by human hands. [5] They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but cannot see. [6] They have ears, but cannot hear, noses, but cannot smell. [7] They have hands, but cannot feel, feet, but cannot walk, nor can they utter a sound with their throats. [8] Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them.

Our God is in Heaven, but He is also here with us. Jesus is God-with-us.

Jesus can speak, see, hear, smell, feel, and walk. And we who trust Him will be like Him. He is our prototype.

Father, thank you for sending Jesus. Jesus, thank you for being Immanuel, and thank you for sending Holy Spirit. Thank you for your power and love. Please flow through me today.

Weeding required

2025-09-11T05:08:00.001-06:00

I attended a short conference/workshop yesterday (Kingdom at Work). The first session was on identity: Christ-in-me and me-in-Christ. I really need to soak on these truths. The second session was on the Kingdom and everyday sacredness. Helpful reminder to focus on the teachings of Jesus. The third session was on hearing God, and the exercise of writing a letter from our Father was really helpful for me.

This morning, I got a picture in my mind of weeds growing around a plant. I need to do some weeding so that the life of God is not restricted in growing in my heart.

Father, thank you for speaking to me. I want to focus on hearing you all the time. I want to be aware of your presence throughout the day. I love you.

Blameless and pure in heart

2025-09-03T05:17:00.000-06:00

Psalm 101:6

I will look with favor on the faithful in the land,
that they may dwell with me;
he who walks in the way that is blameless
shall minister to me.

Proverbs 22:11

He who loves purity of heart,

and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.

I want to be blameless and pure in heart. I want to minister to the King. I want to have the King as my friend.

I break agreement with pride, arrogance, lust, greed, shame, and complacency.

Father, thank you for your presence; you are always with me. Jesus, thank you for your sacrifice that brought us back into fellowship with God. Holy Spirit, I want to be a vessel useful and honorable for you. I love you.

Faithfulness and sleep

2025-08-11T05:18:00.001-06:00

Psalm 89

Yahweh promised King David:

36 that his line will continue forever
and his throne endure before me like the sun;
37 it will be established forever like the moon,
the faithful witness in the sky."

The sun and moon are reminders of God's promise fulfilled in the kingship of Jesus of Nazareth, the Christ. The sun and moon remind us of the faithfulness of God and the eternal reign of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Prov 20:13

Do not love sleep or you will grow poor;
stay awake and you will have food to spare.

I stayed up late last night and the previous night, and in both occasions, it was to help others. I have a big all-day meeting today, and I asked the Lord to give me clarity of thought despite my short sleep.

Ironically, we can also think about a spiritual aspect of being "awake" and walking in the light.

1 Thes 5

4 But you, brothers and sisters, are not in darkness ... 5 You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. 6 So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. ... 8 But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.

Father, you are faithful. You are always faithful. Thank you for your mercy and grace when I am unfaithful. Jesus, thank you for making a way for me to walk in the light. Holy Spirit, thank you for "waking me up" from the darkness. May I be attentive to the spiritual realm today, and may I sow seeds of love and goodness today for your honor and to advance your kingdom, not mine. I love you.

Reflections on marriage

2025-07-20T15:34:00.001-06:00

Genesis 1:18

Yahweh God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Proverbs 18:22

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from Yahweh.

The Lord blessed me with an incredible gift of meeting my future wife in junior high. We have grown up together. I am so thankful that our parents let us marry at such a young age and supported us in many ways, especially spiritually, emotionally, and financially. The Lord has blessed me tremendously through Brandi; she is a wonderful wife!

Brandi is an amazing listener (like her dad was) and overflowing with joy from the Holy Spirit. In our dating in high school, Brandi helped me unpack discouragement and depression, and in grad school I realized that I wanted to let go of pessimism and emulate her optimism and hope. In my professional career, she continues to believe in me and help me repent from self-criticism and perfectionism. She wakes up almost every morning with a positive and joyful attitude. She consistently encourages me, and she calls out the favor of God in my life.

Brandi has demonstrated to me the love, mercy, and grace of the Lord. I have hurt her severely and deeply at multiple points in our marriage, and she has chosen to forgive me, not keeping record of wrongs. She has also extended grace to me by consistently treating me well, even when I don't deserve it. Following the example of the Lord Jesus, she extends to me the costly mercy and grace that she has received from Him.

Brandi is a wonderful wife and mother, and I have learned so much about being a husband and father from her, especially gentleness. Brandi is thoughtful with me and each of our children, and she gives so selflessly for our growth and well-being. She gave birth naturally to our four children, and she loves fiercely and passionately. She is the best cheerleader!

Brandi is a Proverbs 31 woman. The Lord reminds me of this often; I want to do a better job of calling this out to her regularly. She is creative, artistic, industrious, entrepreneurial, kind, generous to the poor, and she plans for the future. She is strong, wise, and vigilant. She is storing up treasures in heaven. It is a privilege to be married to her, and she deserves to be honored for her character.

Brandi has been a spiritual partner since we were kids in youth group and youth camps. We were in discipleship training together in college and evangelism training in grad school. We were literally hand-in-hand when we opened up to going deeper with Holy Spirit in El Paso. The Lord has been speaking to me through Brandi about learning to abide and rest in Him. And I feel like the Lord is preparing us for the next phase of our missional calling here in Lubbock.

As I reflect on the marriage that the Lord has given me, words cannot convey the magnitude of her impact in my life. It is truly a privilege to journey with such a magnificent person as we continue to advance in the abundant life that Christ Jesus has promised.

I resolve to continue to grow in loving Brandi selflessly as Christ loved the church. I want to serve her well.

‭Ephesians 5:25-32 NIV‬

[25] Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her [26] to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, [27] and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. [28] In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— [30] for we are members of his body. [31] "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." [32] This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Father, thank you for this amazing gift of marriage with Brandi. I pray that our marriage will honor you and point people to the lordship of Jesus. Holy Spirit, thank you for your presence and power. Please intensify your fire in us.

Bow, sit, stand, walk

2025-07-05T11:22:00.000-06:00

I went for a run this morning. I haven't been sleeping well. I have tried to be more consistent in exercise, and I have tried journaling my feelings before bedtime. I am asking the Lord to give me good sleep which protects me against being stressed with work. The Lord knows it is a catch 22. When I let myself get stressed out about work, I don't sleep as well, and then I'm more vulnerable to stress.

I care too much about what other people think of me. At the surface, it appears that I want people to have a good opinion of me. But I started reading a book about shame, and I am now thinking so much of my motivation is a fear of letting people down which may be a fear of shame.

As I was running, I was telling the Lord that He is the only man who will judge me. He is the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. His opinion is the only one that matters.

I was reminded of Psalm 1:

‭Psalms 1:1-3 NIV‬

[1] Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, [2] but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. [3] That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.

I was thinking about the progression in verse 1- walk, stand, sit; it is a degradation, a loss of momentum. Not explicit in this passage, but the next step of the progression is bowing to idols.

As I was running, the Lord gave me a word that the progression in His life is the opposite. We first bow down (prostrate) in submission and worship of Jesus and repent from the ways of the world. Then He seats us in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. We rest in Him. Then we stand with the righteousness of Christ upon us. Then we walk worthy of our calling, completing the good works which he has prepared for us.

Father, thank you for your patience with me. I want to be faithful and pass this test. Holy Spirit, please deliver me from worldly mindsets and patterns, especially fear of shame. I want to love you and be driven solely by a desire to love you and honor you. Jesus, I want to serve you faithfully. I want to abide and rest in your fellowship and communion. I love you.

Freedom

2025-07-03T03:59:00.000-06:00

The day before the 4th of July.

I want to be free from my overly strong sense of duty and responsibility that leads to me being a workaholic.

‭Galatians 5:1, 6 ESV‬

[1] For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. ...

[6] For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith working through love.

I can not impress God with my accomplishments. He connects with me on the basis of the sonship that He brought me into; He has fathered me. I do not need to perform for His approval or even to gain audience with Him. I can be myself with Him, my true incomplete and imperfect self. In fact, being transparent and vulnerable with Him is essential to our communion.

I want to stop trying to optimize my life based on the knowledge of good and evil or based on the law and works. This is futile.

I believe the portal to freedom is abiding in Christ.

Father, please teach me to abide. Holy Spirit, I want to listen to you inviting me to abide, not the voices of the world trying to distract me or capture my attention with futile endeavors. Jesus, you are the way, the truth, and the life. You are the only way to the Father. You are the vine, and I am a branch. I want to bear fruit that remains. I am salt and light. Father, I am your son. Please help me walk in this identity and reality. I love you.

Security and peace

2025-07-01T04:42:00.000-06:00

Father, please forgive me for seeking security and peace in worldly things. Please forgive me for thinking that I need to work so hard to provide for my family. You are the provider, and you are the protector. You are my security. I am a steward. Father, please deliver me from worldly mindsets; I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Father, also please purify my heart; I want my emotions to match your heart. I want to live as a free man, walking in the overflow of your abundant life. I love you.

Distracted by worldly things

2025-05-12T04:50:00.000-06:00

I have been working way too hard for way too long.

Why?

I think the first layer is because I don't want to let people down. I care too much about what people think of me. I want to have a good reputation. I live most of my life pressured by a great sense of duty and obligation. At times, I also worry about making sure I have enough research projects to cover my summer salary so that I can pay the bills.

Yesterday, the sermon was on Martha being distracted while Mary was singularly focused on listening to Jesus.

‭Luke 10:40-42 ESV‬

[40] But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me."

[41] But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, [42] but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

The word "distracted" is περισπάω (perispaō, the only appearance in the NT) which means to draw (like drawing a sword out of it's sheath) away. The word "anxious" is μεριμνάω (merimnaō) which comes from a root word that means to separate into parts or to cut into pieces. The word "troubled" is θορυβάζω (thorybazō) which comes from a root word that means noise.

From my reading this morning:

‭1 Corinthians 7:29-32 ESV‬

[29] This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, [30] and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, [31] and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. [32] I want you to be free from anxieties. ...

The truth is that our Father is a good Father, and He will take care of me and my family. I want to care only what the Father thinks and not worry about what people think of me.

Father, I trust you, and I care what you think. I want to honor you. I have been arrogant and distracted. Please forgive me, and deliver me from my inordinate sense of obligation. I want to walk in freedom. I love you.

Walking with the Spirit

2025-05-01T05:19:00.001-06:00

I tend to think I see the world in monochrome. And when I feel like I've made a mistake or got burned, I tend to respond with a "That won't ever happen again" rule to protect myself.

But that's just religion. That isn't walking with the Spirit.

Yesterday, I had my second counseling appointment sonce 2021, and it was really helpful. The therapist pointed out some behavioral patterns that I can work on; I know it will take a devoted effort, but I have hope that I can be free from trying to earn the approval of others.

Father, I break agreement with rules-based living, and I make agreement with depending on a fresh word from Holy Spirit for every decision. Jesus, thank you for your example. I love you.

Simplicity of abiding

2025-04-04T06:15:00.001-06:00

Yesterday afternoon in Austin, I had the privilege of meeting with Jeff, an older Brother who was a spiritual mentor when I was a graduate student. He reminded me of the simplicity of abiding in Christ. I am meditating on these verses this morning:

‭John 15:4-5, 9 ESV‬

[4] Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. [5] I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

...

[9] As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.

I'm trying to just sit still and visualize sitting with the Father with no agenda. Just enjoying each other's presence.

Father, I love you. Thank you for making me who I am. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I am carefully and wonderfully made. I am your son. I am not an orphan or a slave. My value is independent of my productivity. I am yours. You define my value and worth, and Jesus's blood is the price you paid. Please forgive me of pride and arrogance that I could define my value any other way. Holy Spirit, please guide me to an accurate perspective of myself and the Father.

Refine my objective function

2025-03-31T04:46:00.001-06:00

‭Psalms 38:9 NIV‬

All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.

In optimization programming, the objective function is the definition of what you are trying to either maximize or minimize. In the Scriptures, the heart, mind, will, and emotions are spoken of as aspects of the soul.

Father, I want my heart to match your heart; I want to have pure and holy desires, not worldly desires. I want my mind to think your thoughts, not worldly thoughts. I want my will to be calibrated to seek your Kingdom and your righteousness, not worldly aspirations. I am tired of working too hard. Please refine my objective function. I want my emotions to match your emotions. Please recalibrate the programming of my soul. I love you.

believing ahead

2025-03-05T04:54:00.001-07:00

King David wrote Psalm 30 for the dedication of the temple. His son, Solomon, actually built the temple, and David wasn't there for the dedication. But David knew it was going to happen. By faith, he wrote a Psalm so that he could participate in the dedication of the temple. David's heart was to honor Yahweh by building the temple.

What do I want to do to honor Yaweh that might come to fruition after my lifetime? How do I invest effort and exercise faith presently to begin something significant for the glory of God and somehow spiritually participate in that future realization?

Father, I love you, and I want to desire to honor you greatly, as King David did. Help me shift my perspective from surviving to thriving. Help me focus on you and see your glory, goodness, and love and be overwhelmed in gratitude that leads to a desire to honor you greatly. I love you.