Consider It All Joy

Impressive (or) 'Mystery Diagnosis' Worthy

2013-05-20T13:09:00.001-07:00

Here's the latest on my mom's health!

It seems that my mother is super impressive or will be the next 'guest' on the hit show 'Mystery Diagnosis'.

We went to see her ENT surgeon on Thursday to have tubes removed and a check up on the surgical location. While we were they the doctor told us that the pathologist who has been working on mom's tissues, which were removed from her brain stem, is unable to diagnose her. He has pretty much ruled out cancer but still cannot put any 'name' to the affected tissues.

It was discussed and a decision was made to send all of her tissues to John's Hopkins for further evaluation. Sending them to a research hospital may, in fact, give us some answers as to what is growing and disintegrating her skull.

Further, if we do not find some 'cause' then doctors are unable to treat her and eventually the 'stuff' will eat her entire skull away. Ummmm...the last I heard you kind of need a skull to protect your brain.

So our prayer is that God will work with the pathologists who receive mom's brain tissues and help them to find the exact 'abstract stuff' that is causing her skull to disintegrate and that once a diagnosis has been found, they are able to treat the problem.

I suppose we have another week or two to wait. In the meantime, mom is still staying with me and recovering day by day.

Thank you for your love and prayers!!

Momma News and Other Great Stuff

2013-05-14T18:52:00.001-07:00

Hi Friends,

Momma News...

After 5 hours of brain surgery on Monday, mom is doing very well. I went up this morning and visited, she was wide awake, had been in a chair for a couple of hours, and wanted a piece of cake. So, cake it was even though it was only 10:30 am.

Three surgeons came to see her while I was there, 2 from ENT and 1 Neurosurgeon. They are so pleased with her progress; she was moved from ICU up to a regular room and most likely will come home tomorrow.

As far as results, well we just don't know anything for sure yet. Doctors are all a bit puzzled as the mass does not look cancerous but they also don't know what it is. They took 4 fragments for biopsy so we are in a wait and see mode. We are hoping to get definitive answers next week.

Thank you SO very much for praying. Your prayers have been felt and have been very welcomed. The only comfort we have in this crazy world is knowing that, ultimately, God holds us in the palm of His precious Hands!!!

In other news...

After MUCH prayer and deliberation: Andrew and Melissa have decided to STAY in Arizona!!! I cannot express what the past several months have been like as they weighed the pros and cons of 2 job offers. In the end, Arizona won out and both Melissa's and Andrew's families are Elated!!! Again, thank you for your prayers ~~~ This momma is Delighted!

And Finally...

My Pool is Clean
The Lawn is mowed
And I will attempt to get to bed before Mid-Night!!!

Happy Night!

First Surgery Scheduled

2013-05-09T20:50:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends,

Just a quick update on mom and the plan for the next few days.

It's going to be a special Mother's Day weekend for me. We will celebrate my youngest granddaughter's first birthday on Saturday. The family will all come join us at my home. We will share a meal together as well as play, swim, ride bikes and eat cake. I cannot believe my littlest blessing is already a year old. How quickly time flies.

Sunday, although no specific plans have been made, I will spend with my mom. I am planning on picking her up Friday night and holding her captive until Monday morning :) The only thing I am sure of for Sunday is that we will EAT! She Loves to go out so I'm sure we will head out to one of the many nearby eatery's and enjoy a meal together. It will be a sweet day followed by a very difficult Monday.

I will take mom to the hospital at 5:00 am Monday morning, where we will meet my sister and brother. It's been nearly 3 months since mom had her mini stroke but also since the doctors located a mass in her skull. Between insurance and doctor staffing issues we have been delayed in having this procedure done.

On Monday morning she will have a surgical halo placed into her skull and two surgeons will begin the procedure to determine whether the, now three, masses in her skull are cancerous or not.

After the halo has been placed, the first surgeon, (an ENT) will insert a tube and camera through her nasal passages into the center of her head. Once the ENT completes his process, the neurosurgeon will continue to the exact location of the largest mass. Once he reaches the delicate location, he will begin to scrape the bone as well as cut some of the tumor for biopsy purposes. We are unsure at this point as to the exact length of the surgery but we do know she will go straight to ICU and remain there for at least 13 hours but more likely a day or two depending on any side effects or complications.

Since she has had 2 mini strokes we are, of course, concerned for any type of bleeding or stroke activity.

Our family trusts greatly in the Greatest Physician to touch mom and bring each of us strength and peace for the days ahead.

Please join us in prayer as we, with great faith, walk toward the unknown.

Blessings to All!

I'm Guesting Today

2013-05-03T09:14:00.003-07:00

Hi Friends:

A Widow's Might is a blog that has ministered to my heart during the 28 months since I lost Mark.

Today I am guest posting over on A Widow's Might, sharing about the victory of Courage over Fear.

Hop on over and make sure to leave a comment so I know you visited.

Thank you for all the support you have given to my heart during this process of grief.

You have encouraged me greatly!

A long overdue restoration update

2013-04-29T21:23:00.002-07:00

It was my intent to update my total mouth restoration

Every quarter

Oh well...

The above photo was taken July 18, 2011

The day I had my braces put on

At age 52

This was taken tonight

Now at 54

21 months into my total mouth restoration

I am SO excited with the progress

My teeth look really yellow; it's just the color in the photo...

However, since you cannot use any type

Of teeth whiteners while you have braces

I will admit

I can't wait to get them off

And have my teeth Whitened :)

Only a few more months.....

I hope!!

BOSTON

2013-04-15T17:13:00.001-07:00

AMERICA

PRAY!!!

10 Days in Photos

2013-04-07T19:48:00.001-07:00

My K-Baby

My K-Bel

My K-Bug

Learned to ride her Bike

My Mom on Easter

My mom and 6 of her 12 Great-Grand Children

My mom with my 3 K-Girlies

My Bel playing the Egg Game

Kids made a remembrance

With an Empty Tomb

My Bug as 'Nancy' the 50's waitress

Mom and 2 of her grandchildren

Mom, me and my girlies

Mom, my sister and some of her kiddos

Mom, my youngest brother and his family

Mom and her 2 girls :)

Mom and 1 of her Grand D-I-L's

Mom with friends of ours since 1971ish

2 of our kiddos doing a talent show for us on Easter

Busy, Fun, Beautiful Week

Mom's Waiting...

2013-03-26T19:54:00.001-07:00

A journey is a process of small steps, mostly forward, sometimes backward. Choosing to find a safer route can force you to adjust your path and at the same time cause the journey to be lengthened. All the while heading toward a destination but desiring to enjoy and find blessing as you travel.

At times there seems to be no joy in the journey, just a daily trudging toward a goal, a destination, a desired end. Stopping to look, listen and hear the still small voice of God through the journey is always a welcomed reprieve from the pursuit.

No matter what journey you find yourself on, I pray you are able to find Joy within.

In recent weeks we have found our family to be on a difficult yet praise worthy journey. Several weeks ago my mom had a small stroke of which she has recovered from very nicely. Yet, through the series of tests performed during her hospital stay, a lesion was discovered in her brain. In the weeks that have followed she has had more tests and lab work done. What once was considered a large cancerous tumor in the base of her skull, has since changed.

During a PETScan and subsequent visit to her oncologist, we have received excellent news. There is NO evidence of Aggressive or Advanced cancer, in fact the lesion is not even a tumor. Her lab work was perfect, I could only wish mine was so great!! That is Praise Worthy News!!

However, we have learned that the lesion is an area of total deterioration of the bone with unknown origin. According to her neurosurgeon she has lost 40% of the bone. It is still possible it is cancer which has eaten the bone or an old infection from many years ago.

Our options are to wait 3 months and re-scan to see if there has been any growth or change or proceed with another set of CT and MRI scans with a possibility of biopsy to follow depending on the results of those 2 tests. Mom has yet to make a decision, so we wait.

Did you realize that when you are on a journey it is ok and essential to take those moments to 'wait' (stop, look and listen)? I'm so thankful for these moments of 'rest' and 'wait'. God weaves them into our journey so preciously. He desires for us to listen for His voice amongst the noises of a world vying for our attention.

Tonight I rest is His perfect timing and grace. Thank you for journeying with us and praying specifically for my mom.

Be Blessed!!

...so Mom's journey has begun...

2013-03-02T18:48:00.001-08:00

God's timing is always perfect

Even though, at the time, we may not realize just how perfect.

Just a few short weeks ago

I was able to take my mom on a fun and restful week vacation

We played, rested, and played some more

We shopped, ate and shopped some more

We watched people play golf, sat on the patio and watched more golf

We watched TV, some of her favorite programs

And played, ate and rested some more

Little did we know that just a few short weeks later

Mom's life would take a bit of a turn

And she would begin a new journey

On February 21, 2013 mom had a mini stroke

Which, thankfully, she has recovered from very nicely

However,

Through the process of numerous tests doctors found something they were not looking for

It seems mom has two lesions (tumors) in or near her brain stem

We don't have all the answers yet

We met with her oncologist yesterday

(he is truly a delight)

Over the next 3 weeks mom will have more blood work done

And have a PET Scan

She has already had numerous CT Scans,

MRI's and even a full body nuclear med scan but they have yet to determine

what type of lesions are in her brain.

We will see a neurosurgeon in the days ahead

Although it is quite unlikely that he will choose to do any

type of surgery to either biopsy or remove the tumors.

It seems the location is not an area even the best of neurosurgeons venture to operate.

Mom has been staying with me this week

And will stay with me another week

Before heading home to my brothers

Which is just down the road a bit :)

She's hanging out with my sister tonight

Which afforded me the opportunity to get on my computer

We have an interesting journey ahead:

So,

I ask for prayer

for wisdom

for guidance

and for joy in the journey

We believe in the mighty miracle working power of God

We stand on His promises

And we graciously thank Him

For His provision and Mercy

2 Tickets To Paradise

2013-02-15T12:11:00.000-08:00

Well, not exactly 2 tickets

More like

1 rental car, 3 people, and several hundred miles

And, not exactly Paradise either

More like

Palm Desert, CA

Which was as close to Paradise as we could get on this trip:)

Day 1 took my mother, my son and myself

Driving several hundred miles

In a rented vehicle

(because my car had a fit the day before we left)

Beautiful weather

Leisurely drive

Food stops and laughter

Day 2

Lots of time in the great outdoors

At least outside our room on the beautiful patio

Which overlooked a gorgeous golf course

Jammies on early and lots of rest

Day 3

Lots of shopping

Cabazon, CA Outlet mall is one of my Favorite places

Coach and Brighton our favorite shops

Even my son enjoyed his shopping excursion

Day 4

Since my mom and son were making plenty of remarks about my 'snoring'

(I have Never heard myself snore)

Anyway,

They bought Pink Ear Plugs

To help them sleep

Oh My Goodness

Oh, Did you notice my mom's hair?

I cut it today :)

Day 5

We ventured into Palm Springs for the day

Can you believe who we found?

Yes, a larger than life Marilyn Monroe

Who recently traveled to CA via Chicago

I guess she likes to travel

Mom Loved It!!!

Here we are with our Day 5 Photo

Out side our Resort room

Day 6

It was actually quite rainy

We were supposed to go into LA

However,

The road were just awful and we were instructed to just stay put

Staying put was a bit boring so we found

An nearby Mall to spend the day at

Yep...More Shopping

Day 7

MORE RAIN

We actually did stay put

Sort of

We drove back to Palm Springs

Drove by a few of our favorite locations

Which we enjoyed many times while I was growing up

(Palm Springs was our family fun spot in my young years)

We did a bit more shopping

This time

At the local grocery:)

Day 8

Found us traveling home in the rain

We did stop at Quartzsite, AZ

I've wanted to visit their town wide

Flea Markets/Swap Marts for several years

They are only open from Jan - Mar

So this was my chance

Didn't purchase much

But did enjoy getting wet and looking at all the fun stuff

Mostly,

On This Trip

I sat here

On the Patio

With my feet up

Enjoying watching silly adults play golf

I laughed a LOT

Rested more than Enough

And enjoyed time with my mom and son

2 tickets to Paradise?

No,

I'll just take 3 adults to Palm Desert

In a rented vehicle for 8 glorious days of FUN!!!

I Promise

2013-02-11T14:50:00.001-08:00

I'm going to update my blog

Really!

I Promise!

Soon :)

Why Reach...

2013-01-02T19:51:00.000-08:00

Raw, real and possibly too much information, but that is how I will begin 2013.

Why Reach?

Over the past several years it has become commonplace for bloggers and others to choose a word of the year. A word that each individual will focus on and allow God to work in them. Last year I became one of those bloggers and I chose 'Anew'. It was a perfect word for what God had intended to work in my heart in 2012. As I began to pray about this years 'word', the only thing that came to me was 'reach'. What an odd word I began to almost to complain to God. I wanted a real, cool word, but reach is all that would come.

As I began praying about why reach, the Lord opened my spirit to His.

At the end of 2011, nearly a year after losing Mark, I could feel the Lord saying it was time to begin to minister again, to begin giving back and reaching out. Unfortunately, those in authority over me, didn't like the way I had 'grieved out loud' during that first year after my loss and although they believed God was ready to use me and had actually called me to the ministry I was offering myself to, they felt it important to criticize and ridicule me by saying I was belittling, demeaning, hostile, ungodly.

Instead of being bold and moving forward with the calling God had placed on my life, I retreated, cocooned myself and stopped attending church. I allowed people's opinions of me to be more important than God's purpose and I closed myself off from nearly all forms of communication with church and church family. I internalized negative words spoken to me and began to believe I was worthless to God and this world. Yes, I believed man instead of God.

I did not reach out, I looked inward.

Over the past few months, as I have begun to allow God to speak to my broken and crushed spirit He has made it quite clear that reaching out is in fact what He has not only asked me to do but commanded of his daughter. He has spent time healing my heart and preparing me (again) for His purpose.

It's is sad for me to admit that my pride has kept me from serving God. Pride is an ugly word that the enemy can and does use to keep us from reaching out for fear of rejection or just plain old painful feelings. Pride kept me from forgiving the person who spoke those words to me, pride kept me from moving forward and reaching out.

In recent days I've had to forgive and accept God's forgiveness of me. As I lay pride at the foot of the cross I lay hurt and brokenness there as well. At the foot of the cross I find peace and grace!

Reach for 2013? Yes, that's the word, however, I have no idea how it will play out or what it will look like. How do you begin to reach for God's purpose when you are not a member of a church and have no ministry ties what so ever?

Yes, I have led women's ministry, I have written and taught Bible studies, I have spoken at retreats, yet what is past is past! I have NO picture of the future yet I have Faith, that God will fulfill what He has promised.

He has promised to be with me, to not leave me nor forsake me! He has promised that no matter what I face, He is strong enough to face it with me. He shall provide all my needs, His word will be a lamp on the darkened path, and He will calm the raging sea. When He has a plan and I desire with all my heart to be in the middle of that plan, He will fulfill it.

Reach for 2013? God only know.......

Thank you to Melanie at Only A Breath for creating my new one word button!

Yet, We have a Blessed HOPE

2012-12-24T15:47:00.002-08:00

Two years ago today, Christmas Eve 2010, I awoke to find my Mark had left his earthly body to spend eternity with his Creator. I cannot express the devastation that lingered in the days, weeks and months which followed, but I can express the Joy that fills my heart when I remember the Blessed Hope we have in Jesus Christ.

Nothing in life can truly prepare us for the loss of our best friend, husband, child, parent or other loved one, but knowing the HOPE of eternity with Jesus can and does offer us comfort and even joy.

Tonight, as I reflect on the past two years as well as the celebration of the birth of Christ, I am met with peace! Things will never feel, look, smell or be the same as they were before heaven gained Mark's spirit, but each day is filled with new beginnings, new choices, and new opportunities to reflect the love of Christ and be Jesus with skin on to someone who needs to know He's real.

On this Christmas Eve, though my heart beats with a tinge of sadness for my loss, it also beats with great expectation for all that God desires to accomplish in my life as long as He gives me breath. I'm grateful for this Christmas, not for gifts, decorations and festivities, although those are great, I'm grateful for Jesus, for his birth oh so many years ago, for his life and for his death. But mostly I am grateful for HOPE, because there is an empty tomb, because He Lives, because we have a promise of eternity with HIM.

As you walk through Christmas, take time to reflect on who you are in Christ, who He is in you, and if you have the Blessed Hope of Eternity with HIM!

I'm praying for you!!!

Merry Christmas!!

Last Minute Holiday Deals

2012-12-17T18:52:00.001-08:00

I am so excited to be able to offer a couple of last minute holiday deals sponsored by The P&G e-store. Though there are many deals available, I am highlighting a couple that I truly use and love!

Here are the general deals P&G is offering:

15% off on a first-time order from a new customer, using promo code: A9Z-MN5-KY3-ISA
Free Shipping on orders over $25
Free Samples with every order.

Below are a few of the specific items I personally use and LOVE:

1. Olay Professional Pro-X Advanced Cleansing System
I began using this product last summer and have absolultely loved it. The brush is soft with gentle revolutions and the exfoliating cleanser has an ever so slight texture as to help remove the dry cells on the surface of the skin.

2. Downy Unstopables In Wash Lush Scent Booster 13.2 oz
Several months ago a friend mentioned that she found a newer product which she adds to her wash cycle. I use a homemade laundry soap so I wasn't sure I wanted to add something else, however after sampling this product I realized I Had to use it. I like the light scent so much that I actually enjoy going into my garage (ie: laundry room) everyday!

3. CoverGirl LashBlast 24HR Mascara
Macara is one of those things that takes some time to find the 'right' one. I Have!! Though I don't wear my mascara 24 hours a day, I do like the fact that this mascara doesn't come off before you get home from the office.

Connect by clicking on any of the product titles, they will take you directly to the P&G e-store where you can shop away and redeem the deals they are offering. I hope you will take advantage of some of their great products:)

Prayers for Newtown

2012-12-14T11:52:00.003-08:00

Our hearts are saddened

Our hearts are broken

Lord, Have Mercy on our Country!!!

Prayers for the Families left to Grieve!!!

December Daily 3 & 4

2012-12-04T20:01:00.003-08:00

Hi Friends!

I'm working hard to decorate my home for Christmas

I'm hosting our family for dinner this year

And really want to make them all feel very welcomed

And loved...

This little deer usually sits under a red bottle brush bush

In my back yard but I wanted him to come in

And share in the festivities this year

So, he is warming himself under my tree

I won this cute tea pot a couple years ago

At a business party gift exchange

I love his quirky little face

He adds some cheer to my otherwise boring stove

And he is filled with Candy :)

This awesome box arrived a couple weeks ago

I haven't had much time to explore its contents

I thought I'd add it to my December Daily posts

Since it's kind of a Birthday/Christmas gift to myself

What's inside you might ask???

Well,

Nothing more than this BEAUTIFUL, SOFT,

Smells Like Leather

Camera Bag

I have had my camera for nearly 2 years

But have never spent the money for a bag to keep it in

This year I decided I would splurge and buy something for myself

I Love It!!!

It makes me smile because Mark would be proud

That I actually 'Finally' spent the $$$ to get it

Isn't the color Perfect the Christmas?

What are you doing to bring 'happy' to your heart this Christmas?

I pray you are taking time to reflect on HIM

As you 'do' Christmas

December Daily 1 & 2

2012-12-02T20:10:00.000-08:00

It's difficult to believe it's THAT time of year again

Since Mark passed on Christmas Eve

The Holiday's are just not the same

BUT, it's time to get into the spirit of Christmas

December Daily

Helps me do just that

Over the past 2 days

I have gotten out my holiday sockies

A friend from work gave me the above

Nativity

I have been collecting them for many years

And this is a beautiful addition

Last year I bought a small tree

But when I took it out this year

I was shocked at just How Small it is

Maybe next year we'll get something a bit larger

I have a bit of a snowman theme this year

My kitchen tree

Matthew's bedroom tree

This little one in my bathroom

Smells delightful :)

And of course

My Christmas Jewelry is ready to wear

I'm working on keeping my attitude

Merry and Bright

And my Focus on the Gift of Jesus

Which gives me Hope of seeing my Mark again

Graffiti ... Release Date 11/26/2012

2012-11-20T19:23:00.000-08:00

I only had 4 dollars and change left until payday

But he spoke to my heart

The homeless man seated on the bench

Whom I had seen everyday for a week

I'd never stopped

Never spoken to him

But something this day

Begged for connection

Asking if he was hungry

My heart almost sank

For if he said yes

Would I have enough to buy him lunch?

In fact he was hungry

I quickly went back into the store

Purchased a freshly made sandwich

From the deli and something to drink

I sat down

Gave him his lunch

I trusted God to provide

I never saw that man again

Was he an angel in disguise?

Did God want to know if I trusted HIM?

Stepping beyond myself

Reaching out to someone different

That is what 'Graffiti' is all about

Stepping beyond self

Trusting God for baby steps

Reaching out to someone

From the other side of the street

(or 'tracks' as we called it)

Alene Snodgrass

Has beautifully captured

God's heart toward All manner of people

No matter what side of the street they hale

Two perfectly woven stories

With one common purpose

Helping us to open our eyes

To live life on both sides of the street

Encouraging all to live a life that matters

Dare to be different

Dare to take steps of faith

Dare to reach out

Dare to care

This beautiful short e-book releases on November 26, 2012

Great News!!
You can receive a FREE copy of the ebook (Nov 21 - 25) by going to
http://www.amazon.com/Graffiti-scribbles-different-street-ebook/dp/B00A7X3610/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353459953&sr=8-1&keywords=alene+snodgrass

You will be Glad You Did!!

GRAFFITI

2012-11-14T18:47:00.003-08:00

I'd like to introduce you to a precious woman after God's heart. She has been an on-line friend for several years; I've read her books and adore her. Yet, after reading her newest book, I am more in love with this woman's heart than I ever thought possible.

Alene Snodgrass is a motivational writer, speaker and teacher who loves to tell the untold story. She speaks around the country at conferences, retreats, and women’s groups sharing Christ through her real life experiences. She is the author of Dirty Laundry Secrets – a Journey to Meet the Launderer and I’m a Fixer-Upper – A Day-by-Day Remodeling Guide.

Alene's new book, 'Graffiti', is written by herself and a new friend of hers who happened to live life on the streets and is a beautiful combination of God's love from both sides of the tracks.

This is not a book review, which will come soon; it is just an introduction to a beautiful woman with a heart for the things of God.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from her newest book:

"Being broken for others is hard because it isn’t about clean success stories – from rags to riches, from the streets to the skylines. But what I now know is that true purpose and meaning is not clean; it is mostly messy. It’s about getting dirty daily with those who are broken, down-and-out, frustrated, depressed, and struggling to find their way. It is about getting dirty so they can become clean."

I invite you to hop on over to her Graffiti website to learn more about Alene, her friend and the book which will be released soon.

You can also read more of her heart by checking out her blog, Positively Alene or her facebook page, Alene Snodgrass, You Will Be Blessed!!!

Reflected In You ... A Book Review

2012-11-09T21:15:00.003-08:00

I will be very honest from the get go, I'm disappointed with myself for choosing this book to review. It is not a typical type of book I would read and it was a tough read for me.

Reflected in You, The sweet, sharp edge of obsession by Sylvia Day is openly sensual, raised my eyebrows on more than one occasion and I found myself unable to even read a few of the words used.

This is the second book of the Crossfire Trilogy based around the characters of Gideon and Eva.

It is said that this series is quiet similar to Fifty Shades of Grey, which I did not read. What I do know is that relationships are difficult when two people are semi-stable. In this fantasy relationship there is not stability and no center with the exception of wild and crazy love making. Passion is important in relationship but when that is truly all you have in common, it leaves you empty and wanting for more.

With that said, I will leave you to choose if this is a book that you would want to read. For many of my friends, I'm sure it is not. Choices, how thankful I am that we are given the freedom to make them.

You can read more about this book here and here.

Though I will receive a small compensation and did receive an advanced copy of this book, the opinions expressed are mine alone.

Birthday's and Eternity

2012-10-24T20:40:00.001-07:00

22 months ago today

On a Beautiful Christmas Eve Morning

At 8:02 am

My seemingly perfect life

Took a dramatic turn

As I walked into my living room

To find my Mark

Had passed from this life into eternity

1 year ago today

I took the day off work

To try and figure out how to celebrate my birthday

For the first time in 30 years

Without my Mark

It turned out to be a horrific day

Of loneliness and extreme sadness

I even ended up at the human society

To adopt myself a puppy

I love that little 22 month old guy

Who just happened to be born the day

My Mark met Jesus face to face

But truthfully

I didn't want to end up with Another puppy today:)

Today

On my Birthday

I went to work and was totally spoiled by the staff

They made to feel like a princess

And even wear a tiara

I work with the greatest staff/friends

And an employer who has walked by my side

These past 22 months

It was a terrific day

And instead of adopting a dog

I was selfish and purchased one of THESE

Tonight I was bless to have dinner

With my kiddos

I am So Blessed

Every day for the passed 22 months

I have missed my Mark terribly

Every day for the passed 22 months

I have longed for eternity

But today

I am grateful for today

For the here and now

For the Hope of eternity with Jesus

For the opportunity to share my Jesus with others

And for my new Epiphanie Bag

Someday

My Epiphanie Bag

Will be sold for a couple dollars at a garage sale

Someday

Others will meet Jesus face to face

Because of Today!!!!

Dear Blog Writer

2012-10-13T19:15:00.000-07:00

Where did you go?

What happened to you?

What happened to you blog writer?

Did you begin to care more about what other's thought

Than about where your heart was leading you?

Did you get sidetracked by all those 'big' blogs

And the thought of money stole your passion?

What happended to your love of writing

Just because it's about who God created you to be?

What about your heart and the things
God has been speaking to you?

Where did you go blog writer?
I miss you!
I miss connecting with you!
Hearing your heart and
Seeing the photos of those special people in your life!

Blog writer,
You allowed someone's comments
To break your spirit
You stopped following your heart
And stopped living your passion!

Blog writer,
I'm asking you to 'come back'
Please let go of your hurt
Let God heal your heart

Blog writer,
Forgive the offender
Stop comparing
Start writing
Live Again!!!

ME

Daring Greatly ... A Book Review

2012-09-19T20:43:00.003-07:00

Unsure if this should be posted as a book review or a life review. While reading Daring Greatly I felt myself struggling within its pages, parts of me cheering myself on and other parts wanting to run away as quickly as I could.

Vulnerabilities, challenges and changes in life have become strange bed fellows in recent months since the passing of my husband. Putting myself in situations that feel tremendously uncomfortable has forced me to accept faith as my constant companion.

Brene’ Brown, Ph.D., LMSW shares her many years of work, research, and life experiences regarding vulnerability and daring to become who we were created to be. Taking steps toward a freedom that is oftentimes only dreamt about and never realized.

Daring Greatly, How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead is a great read for anyone who wants to challenge themselves to be more courageous.

Do you hold yourself back from taking leaps of faith because you are concerned with how others may look at you? Do you see a platform in your life that you are afraid to stand on and use because someone may question your motives? Brene’ answers these types of questions through extensive research and helps the reader develop the courage to act on their dreams. The outcomes may not always be the desired result but every step taken out of our comfort zone encourages us to take the next one.

Join the conversation on BlogHer.

Though I did receive a copy of this book and will receive a small compensation, the opinions expressed on my blog are my own words.

Continuing The Surrender

2012-09-16T19:46:00.004-07:00

One thing I have definitely learned

On this journey through grief

Is that is it a process of surrendering.

Surrendering my will to the will of The Father

Surrendering my thoughts to His thoughts

Surrendering my plans to His purpose

It is also a journey of letting go

Of which I seem to becoming

More accustomed to

Yet, there are still times and 'items'

That I have a harder time letting go of

In recent days I have finally begun to tackle Mark's desk

He had one special drawer that he kept his personal belonging in

In this place

I have found his wallet, keys, glasses, and a host of other

personal things that truly were him

So, I sat down in his chair

To go through his things

Medications, personal notes, lists and money

Were among some of the items

This little cross

Which has now found a home in my purse

This tag that he has had on his key ring

For so many years

A host of lotions and skin medications

Used to tackle skin cancers and the effects

Of numerous other meds

Which left his skin thin, bruised and bloody

And then his myriad of gum

I didn't realize just how much he loved this stuff

I was able to tackle at least 1/2 of it

But when it came to the truly personal stuff

I just decided to put it back in the drawer for another day

Yes, it is a process

One I was not prepared for

But one that is preparing me for the future

I'm surrendered

And looking forward :)

My Trouper

2012-08-28T14:46:00.000-07:00

After 7 hours

A trip to the urgent care

A trip to the emergency department

Blood tests, urine tests, CT Scan

The diagnosis is:

Sclerosing Mesenteritis

You say you have never heard of it

Well, neither have I

And the doctor says that

After 12 years of practice

She's never seen a case

We are now home

Meds on board

He'll be sleeping for awhile

No surgery needed at this point

Lots of Research to do

It is most likely due to an

Auto-Immune Disorder

Of which he has never been diagnosed

Like I said

Lots of Research to do...

Considering It All A Challenge