John Stockman, Cool Daddy J

Daddy's First Dropoff at Daycare

Cool Daddy J — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 05:03:00 -0700

I thought I was going to hold it together until I passed him off to the super-friendly care giver at Eliot's new daycare. I have been fortunate to not have to do this yet. Since Eliot was born almost two years ago I have spent two whole days each week with him. One of the best decisions that I have ever made in my life. If I was going to be a father, then I really wanted to spend time being a father.

I sat outside the door for a moment and cried. I know that when I pick him up this afternoon, that he will be hesitant to leave. Saying the names of the friends he has made. The care-givers are kind and nurturing and certainly appear to really love their jobs. I tell myself that he is safe and in good hands and that being with other kids and adults is good for him.

But I like being a Dad. Being home, playing blocks, digging holes, riding bike, filling boxes, and all the other good times we string together. Maybe it sounds obvious, but I really cherish the time of a boy and his dad.

Play!

Cool Daddy J — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 07:15:00 -0700

Eli and I sat on the floor of his bedroom with blocks scattered all around us. I watched as he took the medium sized legos apart and put them back together. Getting the pegs lined up just right was hard at first. He would push them together, clack them, smack them, and finally twist it just right so that they slid together silently. He wispered to himself, without looking to me, the words, "Eliot did it."

As he meditated on his blocks, i pondered what play is and what it does for us. This is an idea I have been thinking about ever since I watched the following lecture about "play" on TED.com.

Eat Dirt

Cool Daddy J — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 07:13:00 -0700

When Eli was a newborn, I was quite maniacal about what he put in his mouth. His "Binky" was constantly falling to the floor collecting all the floor bits that live down there...crumbs, cat hair, dirt, etc.

But now, well, I don't care. A little dirt is good for you.

According to an article published in the NYT, babies eating dirt is actually a good thing. We have two cats, five chickens, and we go in and out of our house with our shoes on! Yes it is true. Our home is tolerably clean, but maybe this is right where it should be. Read the article; it is indeed interesting.

Bah - Tee in Babese

Cool Daddy J — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 15:34:00 -0700

Sometimes I find my self frantically interpreting the language of a distraught 19 month old. Angrily stomping around, Eli chants a word over and over and I scramble my brain to interpret his desperate pleas. "Hawn" sounds like hand, I think in my head. Ah-ha! His right pinky is still tucked into his sleave from when I changed his milk soaked sweat-shirt! As quick as a summer thunderstorm, Eli is happily on his way pushing his wheeled giraffe into the kitchen.

Eli certainly has new words everyday. The rate of language acquisition is staggering at times. But there are a few words - like BahTee - that he has mastered. To you, the unfamiliar reader, BahTee has multiple meanings.

Butter on toast. Overcooked broccoli tastes bitter. And the most important, is WATER! As in I would like to splash in it, walk through it, bathe in it (or not bathe in it), drink it, pour it in plant pot, or I spilled some on the floor!

Yesterday, he added a new twist to BahTee (the one used for "the water I wish to drink") by adding a cluck cluck.

So " BahTee -cluck cluck - BahTee - cluck cluck - - -" translates to "I would like a cup of water please!"

I LOVE my Library

Cool Daddy J — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:24:00 -0700

Do I love my library because of tuesday morning storytime? Or is it the friendly librarians? Or the pile of fresh baby books that I check out each week?

All of the above, of course!

Today we stayed home after our morning run out to BTC and Little Squalicum Beach. On any day at home, Eliot loves reading (or being read to). Sometimes I read the same book over and over. Sometimes we read the same book backwards. Sometimes we read every word and sometimes we flip rapidly through the pages. No matter how we read the books, I am so happy to refresh the options on a regular basis. Eliot likes reading some of his favorites but I can only read "Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog" or "10 little fingers and 10 little toes" so so many times in a row.

Having a new pile of books from the library makes me (and Eliot) very Happy. Thank you Library!

Big BANG

Cool Daddy J — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:24:00 -0700

While I was listening to - BOOOOOM - John McCanes consolation speech, a sound reverberated through my neighborhood. A leftover M80 was lit to celebrate an Obama victory. I am so relieved. The sound waves shook my rafters like the overwelming feelings of thankfulness shook our nations foundations.

BOOOOOM!

Congratulations America.

Hot!

Cool Daddy J — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 06:20:00 -0700

Blowing on his oatmeal like an old man cleaning his glasses - mouth open wide a few centimeters from his cereal glob - Eliot says"HOT!" I am happy with this new word. Maybe not just the word but the concept behind it. We don't use the word hot to mean spicy, we mean hot to mean "Hot, don't touch!"

We have a little gas stove that heats our front room. Happily he puts his hands out, as if to warm them, and says "Hot!"

Good boy, Eliot.

Baby camping anxiety

Cool Daddy J — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 06:25:00 -0700

So is he really going to sleep with us in the tent? Should we bring another tent just for him? Will he wake up all other campers within a quarter mile radius?

Just a few of the questions that my mind keeps asking. Shhhh, be quiet mind, we're going out into the great outdoors. Well, at least sleeping outdoors. Our first night will be a test run in the back yard. In a worst case scenario, whatever that may be, we can just go back in the house.

Huge tent in a small yard with a fridge and a flush toilet nearby. Now that is camping!

Our second camping experiemnt, will be camping with a bunch of friends at THE WEDDING! At least if we keep everyone up, those that are up are already our friends.

Cornwall Ave Bike Lane - Hooray!

Cool Daddy J — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 03:31:00 -0700

Congratulations to the Mayor, City Council, and all the bicycle advocates in this burgeoning bike friendly town of B'ham on completing the bike lane on Cornwall. I know our mayor and council must be getting a number of complaints from folks about the loss of parking, but I would like to contrast that with the number of kids, parents, shoppers, students, and other folks who won't say anything about the new lane - yet are happy to cruise into downtown safely.

The number 1 reason people do not use a bike in an urban environment is safety. You have the folks who will never ride and the folks that will ride no matter the weather and road condition, but then there are the folks in between. If it is safe they will consider using their bike and they won't if they feel it might be dangerous. Every tiny piece of bicycle infrastructure that we build for cyclists gets the idea of bikes into motorists distracted brains. The more aware motorists are of bicycles, the more they will "look" for them, and the safer our roadways become for cyclists.

The Cornwall Bike Route connects multiple neighborhoods and multiple schools to downtown. Having a bike lane pass right in front of the high school is a long overdue addition. Thank you Mr.Pike and the Council for helping make this happen! Stick to it, and I hope to see new bicyle corridors throughout the city.

Chickens in the Backyard

Cool Daddy J — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 02:59:00 -0700

Running in, running out, running back in, and running back out of the coop again. Our 9 backyard chickens love to be watched by Eliot. I don't think their behavior is choreographed, but their constant motion and pleasant cooing are mesmerizing to Eliot.

We built our coop and chicken run from old pallets and scrap material hiding in the recesses of our old garage. The siding was leftover from my in-laws cabin. The chickens don't really care about their confines, I think they are happy. They eat our yard and kitchen waste, rest in the dusty shade in the afternoon, and pile together on the roosts in the coop at night. I think chickens are easier to care for than fish and cats. Plus you get eggs, beautiful and fresh, once they become mature. Our hens are a welcome addtion to our family.

First Birthday at the Food Bank Farm

Cool Daddy J — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 11:14:00 -0700

We met 2 dozen friends and family at the food bank farm to celebrate Eliot's first birthday by working the Earth with hoes and gloved hands. All the food grown at the FBF goes to the food bank but to grow the food comes at a price - a steady and loyal volunteer workforce. Colleen and I decided the best way to celebrate Eliot's birthday was to surround him with those who care about him and figure out a way that we can give - rather than receive - a gift. Thanks to all of those who made this day special; for your presence iss truly the only present we need.

Baby Beluga

Cool Daddy J — Wed, 28 May 2008 02:46:00 -0700

Reading is a nap ritual. This morning we read Baby Beluga, a book illustrated by Ashley Wolff set to the lyrics of Raffi's famous song. While flipping back-and-forth between pages reading the lyrics in non-linear fashion we saw pictures of fur seals, narwahls, tuna, walrus, gull, puffin, dolphin, arctic fox, polar bear, and of course, beluga whale swimming and loving their arctic habitat.

I got really sad. When I was a child, seeing pictures of these animals, I didn't know if they were real or not but I liked to think they were out there living peacefully in the wilderness of their home. But I know now this is not true. Many have died. Last week, the polar bears were finally listed on the endangered species list. I know if they are listed, much to the chagrin of many corporate interests, then they must really be in trouble. Will there still be polar bears in 30 years, when Eliot is an adult?

As the story goes, Baby Beluga and all the other animals of the arcitc celebrate the fact that they are connected by the ties of a common habitat. But that habitat has changed due to the effects of human behaviors. We humans must realize today that we actually can have a vast impact upon places near our home as well as places as seemingly distant and wild as the arctic.

If you are reading this, please take a moment to think about how your behaviors effect the environment (both near and distant). Then tell your friends, family, and peers about your thoughts. There is much that we can control - there are many choices we can make - I only hope that when we choose, we choose wisely.

Thanks for reading.

Big Rain + Hot Sun = WEEDS

Cool Daddy J — Wed, 21 May 2008 09:14:00 -0700

Removing the buttercup from the strawberry bed is a ritual of mine that I follow every couple of weeks in the springtime. The chickens devour the buttercups when I toss them into the coop - it is one of their favorite foods. I filled a couple of buckets amazingliy quick. Actually, I don't know how long it took. Weeding is a meditation. I disappear, time slides by, and the bucket fills up.

In my spaciness, Eliot had drifted behind me and was playing with an empty bucket, a piece of paper, a tile, and a couple of buttercups. I snapped out of it, looked around and Eliot was standing up by holding onto the edge of the raised vegetable bed smiling at me. However, he not only had a big grin on his face, but a long brown drool dripping down his chin and onto his shirt. The tell tale sign of pica - dirt eating.

He thought it was funny. He grabbed another clod and went for his mouth, but he shook too much due to his laughter and missed. Either he liked eating the dirt or he liked the EEEyuK look on my face!

Another Dad at Home

Cool Daddy J — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:02:00 -0700

The street sweeper slowly passed by our front window this sunny morning and the new sound stopped Eli mid-squeek. He gawked, squaked, and then we both got outside to see this crazy machine do its job. I then noticed that our neighbors sash was open so I strolled over to say hello. Expecting Nina, I found Henry with their 6 month old son. First thing he says is "Nina's first day back at work...just a half day."

As Eli wrestled in my arms squirming like a worm, Rowan relaxed lazily in Henry's arms and watched Eli do his exercises. No one really said much, I think we were all happy to feel the sun on our shoulders and faces.

Toys in Tubs

Cool Daddy J — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 02:32:00 -0700

Playing with his favorite toy - stackable wooden rings - gets a whole new dimension when placed into a plastic tub. Put them all in, snap on the lid, and watch the synapses pop and snap.

Eli tosses it around and listens to the familiar CLACK the toys make when they smack into each other. I left one corner of the lid ajar. Finally he got the lid off, grabbed the big bead necklace he likes to chomp on, and waved it around victoriously with a big grin on his face.

Then, we did it again. And again. Good times.