Yesterday, after the parents left, he stayed in my room and we talked for a bit. He told me he was glad our houses were so close. I just wanted him to leave so I could finish getting my shit together.

We went to the court meeting where I said hello to my housemates for the first time. I’d already said hello to one of the girls, since she’s the Don. I lived with the Don first year too. It’s kinda good, ’cause people won’t be partying in our house and doing stupid shit. I wish I had her room though. People in the downstairs rooms basically have a bathroom to themselves.

Anyway, said hello to the other girls. I’d talked to one of them through a Facebook group where people posted their house numbers to find their roommates. She told me she was sharing a room with her sister, so I of course creeped her profile looking for her sister. She has two. There are a couple pictures of the three of them together and I’m like “oh shit” because two of them look really alike, but luckily for me, the one that looks different is her sister. So cool.

The other girl seems to keep to herself. Like during the meeting, she sat kinda on the outside of the circle, even though I tried to make room for her beside me. And then later at dinner, I think she was sitting by herself. I suppose most people would tell me to go talk to her some more, but I dunno. I’m personally a pretty shy, anti-social type person. I don’t want another friend like me. Most of my best friends have been extremely outgoing people, though I have had one or two of the other kind. They both have their upsides and downsides, I think I prefer loud people though. The shier people, I feel like I have to be the leader and, yeah, sometimes I enjoy it, but other times it can be extremely frustrating that they won’t do things for themselves.

Anyway, it looks like I won’t be good friends with any of the girls in my house. I feel bad for people who come to school with someone they know already, because they’re trapped. They get scared and cling to each other and don’t meet other people. Like my brother, he was being a bit clingy yesterday. I didn’t really want to sit with him at dinner, I wanted him to sit with his housemates so he doesn’t become an outcast like I was last year from half my house.

We did this activity during the meeting where you go talk to someone you don’t know and who isn’t in your house and you introduce each other to the group. I met a girl named Lindsey (say?) who seemed like a very happy, fun kind of person. After we’d asked each other the required questions and were still waiting for the group to reform, she asked if I had a single room. I said yes, and then stupidly asked “are you single?… um, well, like, not like that…”. She didn’t get it at first, but then she laughed. I don’t know if she thinks I’m an idiot or not. I probably won’t talk to her ever again. Not because I made an ass of myself, but just because that’s how I roll.

So we waited in line a long time for BBQ. I was glad that they were feeding us because I sure didn’t want to make food. I was also glad it was real BBQ and not the dinner I had first year, which was salad and shitty carrot cake. They had a table with vegetables and a sign that said “dessert may contain nuts” and I was like “what dessert?!” but then I saw the cookies and all was well. I took a pack of Oeros, which I’m not really supposed to eat because they are hard on my stomach, but it was only two, so it was okay. It started to get pretty cold out and I didn’t like it.

Then we went back to our houses and I think I just went on the internet for the rest of the night. Then had a nap at eight, then got up at nine and had a shower. Ooh, I do not like the shower here. It’s a different set-up than my house last year, because I was living in the wheelchair-accessible house. This one has a little room with two sinks in it, then one door which goes to the toilet, and one door which goes to the shower. The shower room is tiiiiny! I can barely turn around on the floor outside of the shower, and there’s nowhere to hang my clothes or put my glasses. Plus, the shower is very not powerful. First year showers were extremely powerful; last year’s, not as much; this year’s, terrible. Maybe I just need to turn it up more or something. Plus, I kinda liked having the toilet and the bathroom in the same room. It makes sense this way, so I can use the toilet while someone else is showering, but personally, while I’m showering, I like the toilet there.

Yesterday I decided with my brother we would go pick up our bus passes at ten this morning. I wake up at seven since I went to bed so early, hang around for a couple hours, then call him at ten to. He says he just woke up! “What, were you drinking last night? Did the guys keep you up?” He says no, I tell him I’m going anyway because I don’t want to wait in line all day.

I get there at ten, already a bit of a line. They don’t start until twenty after. All they have to do is put a sticker on your student card and swipe it, so it goes pretty fast once they start going. Nonetheless, I didn’t get back home until 10:45, and I was worried I wouldn’t make it back. I should have brought a bottle of water with me. It wasn’t really hot or anything, but I just felt terrible. Needed a drink and a poo. Made it back though.

Talked to my brother again. He was worried he would get lost looking for the bus pass place, but I told him he needed to figure these things out himself. Talked to him again later, apparently he went with the other guys in his house to get his pass, so he didn’t get lost. They also haven’t heard from one of his roommates; he apparently went to an off-campus party and didn’t come home last night.

So, I’ve just been hiding out in my room since then. Other than the one time I went to throw-up in the bathroom. Stupid anxiety. I didn’t bring a sick bowl with me because I figured I wouldn’t need it any more, but I think not having it is what made me throw up. Anyway, that’s not nice to talk about.

The one dumb thing I forgot was hangers. I remembered them last year, not sure about first year. I definitely had them on my list, just forgot them. No idea where the remote for my TV is; have to find it at home this weekend.

I also still do not understand how keys work. Righty-tighty (lockey), lefty-loosey (unlockey). Ooh, I should put a picture of Locke on the right and the Smoke Monster on the left! Hells yes! Won’t work for the front door though. :/

I also printed out a bunch of stuff to stick on my wall. Haven’t done it yet, but hoping it will look super cool. I think I haven’t done it yet because I’m afraid of it not looking cool. Whatevs.

Oh yeah, one of my roommates said she stole a duck. I told her ducks are my worst fear. She told me it was just a squeezey duck, and I said that was okay, as long as it didn’t have a pointy beak.

Right, right. What I really wanted to talk about is how I’m worried about my brother. When we were doing the introduction thing — well, for one, his partner was a girl with fake red hair. I realize I am also a girl with fake red hair, but mine is not Sharon Osbourne fake. I hate hate hate that colour red for hair. People wear it like it’s a natural colour — it’s not! But okay, she looked like the kinda girl who would be into rock and stuff and I was like ooh, he’s got a girlfriend, but of course, didn’t say that to him.

Anyway, she introduces him and he’s all like pointing to himself and doing thumbs up and then I realized…

My brother is a nerd.

I used to think he was like a cool kid, or the funny kid, and everyone liked him. No. He is a nerd. Like genuine nerd. He might actually be just a plain loser, but I’ll give him benefit of the doubt.

But yeah. I should’ve seen it. He likes MST3k, The Simpsons, Mythbusters, Weird Al, Monty Python, Spinal Tap, The Room. Tons of other nerdy things. I mean like, he is a major, major nerd. He also has a weird fetish for Regis Philbin. *I* used to think he watched because of Kelly Ripa. No. It’s Regis. Sicko.

So yeah. I’m super bored, want class to start, but don’t, because it’s at eight in the morning. One night, I have a class ’til ten and the next day one at eight. That is gonna suuuuck.

Anywho. Maybe I’ll go do something else now.

“I did not come here to watch an Elvis impersonator,” I said, “I came here to watch Full House!

“This is like if they did an entire episode of Joey doing his stand-up routine. I didn’t come here to watch a bad comedy show!

“…okay, well, I guess I kinda did.”

Seriously? Is that actually part of a Christmas movie? Or am I just making this up? Maybe it was in a preview for another movie.

Anyway, a couple of other kids in my class were rather unamused as well. They started throwing popcorn around. Teachers got pissed and made our whole class leave. Sucked, because even though it was a sucky movie, at least we weren’t in class.

Ever since then, I’ve had this thing against black and white movies.

Well, I had to watch “Citizen Kane” because it was the greatest movie of all time. I just can’t remember anything about it. It was terribly boring. Yes, I’m told it was technically brilliant and ahead of its time… I still found it boring. I’m not wrong. That’s what I thought of it.

We watched “Schindler’s List” in grade 12 over the course of probably a month. It’s a damn long movie. And I just didn’t care for it. Maybe had I seen it all in one sitting, maybe it would’ve been better. But I just found it so boring.

On the other end of the spectrum, I didn’t care much for “Plan 9 From Outer Space”, the worst movie of all time, either. And that’s really more my style. It just wasn’t as bad as I had hoped, I guess. Plus, there was no way it could stand up to the hilarity of the “Plan 9″ play I was doing at school, which, alas, only lasted for a few weeks before we decided to do something else. Hey, at least I had more than four lines in that one. In “Plan 9″, I was Policeman and Woman Mourner. ?_?

I’ve seen a few black and white MST3k episodes. Some of those weren’t too bad (well… you know what I mean). I just can’t watch old “Twilight Zone” episodes. They are generally pretty terribly acted (the few I’ve seen at least) and they just don’t hold my interest. I really honestly prefer reading the Wikipedia summaries. The stories are awesome and make you think, but the show just drags on.

So, am I just an uncultured buffoon? A short-attention-spanned kid? Is this my fault? Or have I been spoiled? They ^[who?] that we one day will view non-3D films in this way. I’ve not seen a 3D film yet (unless rides at Disney World count) and really have no desire to. It just seems unnecessary to me. I’m still amazed by high-definition (Mick Jagger looked more real in “Shine A Light” than he did when I saw him live — and this is not a plastic surgery-type joke).

So. There we have it. Or don’t. Whatever. I’m going to bed.

I went to the States with my family a few times this summer, and of course, ate in their restaurants. Friendly’s, Bob Evan’s, Cracker Barrell, Junior’s Cheesecake (and it was the best cheesecake I have ever had)… I quite like them. But alas! Their ketchup was spicy! I now had no doubt in my mind that it was the American ketchup tainting my enjoyment of… um… ketchup.

The two different bottles were quite easy to tell apart; the American ketchup had a little tomato on the front, while the Canadian did not. But now, the both have the same design. I have to look a little closer, look for the alternate French writing and the metric system. (Which reminds me, I bought a sweater in the States that says S/CH on the tag — really freaked me out).

I did a bit of googling and found that I am not insane. Canadian and American ketchup clearly tastes different and the Canadian kind is clearly the best. I’ve heard this about Canadian vs. American chocolate before, but I’ve never noticed any difference (other than, of course, them not having Crunchie bars and Aero bars and whatnot down south — and also referring to these rectangular objects clearly made of choclate as “candy bars”).

I looked a little closer at the bottles. The ingredients are a little different and are in a slightly different order, indicated more/less of certain ingredients. The Canadian ketchup is 20 calories while the American is 15. Surprising. But maybe not. They probably use more of it than the average Canadian (though probably not me). The Canadian ketchup also seems to have more carbs and protein while the American has a little bit of Vitamin A. Also, the American ketchup is marked “gluten-free”, which is a good thing that I totally support, but not if it tastes terrible.

Also, speaking of food, damnit, white bread is not the devil! I was on white bread all my life up until, I guess, high school, when my mom switched us all over. Took a little getting used to whole wheat bread, but it was fine and I started to hate white bread. I never did like whole wheat, whole grain, multi-grain, whatever, pizza though. That was pretty gross. And whole grain spaghetti. Yuck! Now I’m back on white because I can’t digest whole wheat stuff properly and I can’t stand to eat whole wheat anymore. I’m just afraid restaurants are going to stop offering white stuff because whole grain is the healthy choice.

Apparently, also, skim milk is not good for me either because it has more lactose in it, but it’s good for the general public because… something? Not sure if I’m lactose intolerant or not, but I guess a lot of people with Crohn’s are. My mom had us on all the healthiest stuff, and now that I have Crohn’s, it’s bad for me. Fruits and vegetables are bad for me too, but I’m not complaining about that. :)

Last night, I had a lucid dream that I controlled extremely well. Some man had taken an ID card from me and was checking it for something and I didn’t trust him. He took a long time with it, but eventually gave it back and started to leave. I looked at the card and it was now blank. I started to get the OMGWTF horrified feeling where normally you would wake up, but I somehow overcame it and realized it was a dream. The guy looked at me all like “mwhahah, you don’t actually exist, what are you doing to do now?” but I was like “pfft, whatever, you ain’t real”. And then I sent him away and sent everyone else away that I didn’t want to deal with and turned the dream into an empty room and carried on as I wished.

At a few parts of the movie, the thought entered my mind that *I* was dreaming and I started feeling nauseous and paranoid. Though this was an unsuccessful inception because I was aware the idea was coming from the movie.

The ending. No one has mentioned that clearly Dom (lol… font stuff…) knows whether it’s a dream or not — putting aside that the top was never a reliable totem for him. He knows how it felt, so he knows the truth. Also, was partly expecting Michael Caine to go and pick it up and then it would be all he’s a villain!

How did the wake up from the first dream? Normally? There’s a bit I’ve read about the driver waking up from the kick because we don’t see him come out of the car, so the rest would all just wake up because the dream is no longer asleep? Is that how it works? Whatevs.

I hate movies where it’s all dudes and I can’t figure out who is who. That problem did not occur here. Just the same, when Michael Caine was like “I’ve got a smart kid for you” I was like “please let it be a chick” just because it’s nice when chicks are smart. But predictable because you wouldn’t expect a girl to be the smartest in the class so Hollywood always does that. But yes. Cool.

Maltesers are much better when they are warm. The coating just falls off.

Wouldn’t it have been easier to just kill the kid or something?

Seriously, her name wasn’t “Moll” as in “Molly”?

Mal and Cobb created an awfully ugly world. Unless it was just kind of aged and abandoned since they hadn’t been there for so long. I’ll buy that.

I hope Christina was doing a parody in that video. If she wasn’t, it sucked; if she was, it was awesome.

Yeah. ‘Sabout it. Good movie.

Should this bother me? I mean, I think little kids play this game, but I don’t think they’re going to “get” any of that. It’s just that I’m used to the Neopets kinda thing where they get rid of sexy looking faeries and slot machines and anything slightly risqué.

I never learned the shortcut for making an é on the numberpad. I’m mean the short shortcut. I still use Alt+0233. There is one that’s only three digits, but I forget. Oh, 130. Nevermind. But 0233 has a special place in my 8 year-old’s heart.

So yeah. FrontierVille. Shocking.

This is wrong: 1990’s
This is right: 1990s

This is wrong: 90’s
This is wrong: 90s (unless you are not referring to the decade)
This is right: ’90s

Easy. Only use an apostrophe when you are putting it in place of something else.

Bonus

An apostrophe used to replace something, at the beginning or end of a word, always looks like this (9-shaped, not 6-shaped).
’

The introduction

My only real complaint about the structure of the event is that there are far too many old people talking at the beginning. We have an introduction by a lady I don’t know but whose name sounds familiar so I assume she’s staff — but my brother doesn’t know her either, so clearly she isn’t that important. Why?

Then we have a welcome speech by the principal. Cool.

Then we have a school board trustee talk. Then the superintendent of education. Then the principal again. Not cool.

Here’s how it should go: Introduction by the principal. Done. Who is the trustee? The superintendent? What do they do? I have never interacted with them and I suspect neither have most other students. These boring old people have no business boring us. Period.

The awards

Next came the awards. For some reason, they give out awards, then the diplomas, then more awards. I don’t know why they don’t just give out all the awards at the same time, but that didn’t really bother me.

My brother won the French award, as he suspected he would. Hopefully people are not suspicious because I also won the French award when I graduated and umm… our last name is French. I kind of don’t like this because it makes it seem like we’re immersion kids and people see our name and go “well, that’s not fair”. Anyway, I went up to take my brother’s picture while he was getting the award and he goes and high fives all the kids in the front row. What a goof.

Then he wins the Creative Writing award, which he was totally surprised about. He once again went and high fived everyone and yelled “I’m doing this every time!”. Unfortunately, he did not win any more awards, so he didn’t get do it again. I’m a bit jealous that he got this award because *I* only got one award when I graduated and certainly not the Creative Writing one. Technically, I wasn’t actually in the running for the Creative Writing award because I hadn’t taken that course, but whatevs.

I was going to rant about this teacher here, but I won’t because I did that enough when I was in her class. But I’ll still show you the picture of what I would look like if she came to talk to me since I went through all the trouble of finding it:

Dear Ms. Ramson: My name is not Nicole.

The diplomas

Then they give out the diplomas. The kids have a little card that you write your name on and then give to a teacher backstage to announce your name and a little whatever-you-want-to-say when you walk out. Most people write things like “thanks to my mom and dad for always being there” or “shout-out to Brittany! See you this summer lol!” or “I just lost the game”. My brother wrote “I never wanted to graduate. I wanted to be… (pause)… (with enthusiasm) A LUMBERJACK!”.

It’s always sad when people are getting their diplomas and the crowd cheers loudest for the popular kids. If your name is near the beginning of the alphabet and you’re not popular, it’s still okay though, because people clap out of politeness. But by the time you get to the Ss, people are tired and don’t care anymore, so a couple kids walked out with just the teachers on stage and their family clapping for them.

More awards

Then they have some more awards, like the one for highest Grade 12 average and highest four year average. The kid who won for Grade 12 had a 92 point something percent average. We were told my brother had a 93 point something percent average this year, so I don’t know how that works out. Plus, when they were announcing earlier awards, like for the highest mark in English, we were pretty sure my brother had a higher mark in that too. Actually, I’m pretty sure *I* should’ve gotten the English award as well when I graduated, but whatevs. High school.

The valedictory speech

Next, we have the valedictorian speech. Full disclosure: My brother was in the running for valedictorian and didn’t win, so I might be a little biased, but I think my arguments are still valid.

Does not the valedictorian title traditionally go to the graduating student with the highest average? It clearly did not in this case, because the person who won that award was not valedictorian. Nor did it go to the next highest average, because the girl who won valedictorian received honours (80% or above) but is not an Ontario Scholar (80% or above in best six senior courses), which is presumably more prestigious.

So why did she receive this honour? She was in the musical.

I can understand picking a valedictorian who is a well-rounded good student: good grades, participates in clubs, sports, arts. Cool. My brother isn’t big on extra-curricular activities, so I can understand not picking him for that reason. But he tells me there was another student in the running for valedictorian who fit all the criteria. Why not pick him? If it’s a sexism, equal opportunity bullshit thing, why not have a guy and girl valedictorian, which I heard they were considering?

When I graduated, the girl who was valedictorian completely deserved it. There was one page of the program where all the awards went to her and one other girl. I doubt she ever received less than a 90% in her life. And she was on student council and all kinds of other clubs. I couldn’t believe in grade 9 gym class when we were doing a “dance” unit and I learned that she also took dance class! She’s gone on now to go to university and climb a famous mountain and help third-world countries and all other kinds of crazy stuff. She’s, to put it simply, awesome. She totally deserved it.

Anyway, let’s put all that aside. Let’s say that this year’s valedictorian is a total Lauren and she totally deserved it too. But…

Her speech sucked.

She tripped up a lot and handled it unprofessionally. She made shout-outs to all her friends (half the graduating class). Inappropriate.

You know how during stand-up comedy routines, the person says something like “I recently got married” or “I recently lost ten pounds” and then the crowd claps? Or if they don’t clap, the comedian waits a little bit for them to clap? This girl did the same thing after saying something about her family being loving and supporting and awesome.

Hello. We do not know your family. We are not going to clap for them.

Sources tell me she also ripped off the other valedictorian candidates’ speeches, which I can’t confirm, so I won’t dwell on it. However, when making shout-outs to teachers (which is cool, because everyone knows them), she certainly came close to ripping off my brother.

Anyway, whatevs. Totally unprofessional.

And while I’m at bashing my high school, I would like to mention that if you are a university-bound student, do not go to Hill Park Secondary School. You will get screwed over. They cancel upper year university courses. They schedule things like Grade 12 Communications and Grade 12 Computer Science (both computer courses) at the same time. They cater towards the workplace-headed students; this is why they have a Skateboard Building course.

There are good schools out there. I took summer school and had the pleasure of being taught by a teacher from Parkside named Mr. Baker; he was awesome. Please consider going to a more “scholastic” school.

(Apologies to Mrs. Kasik, Mrs. McEachren, and Mr. Stewart: you were cool. Thanks.)

A typewriter mechanic was called to an office to repair a typewriter. Unable to find a place to park his car, except in a no-parking zone, he left a note on his windshield:

“Sid Karp, typewriter mechanic, working inside of building.”

When he returned to his car, he found a ticket on the windshield, and another note:

“John MacDonald, police officer, working outside of building.”

One hot Sunday in church, the minister was in the middle of a long sermon when Mr. Jones fell asleep. This was bad enough, but in a short while Mr. Jones began to snore very loudly.

Interrupting his sermon, the minister leaned forward and said:

“Tommy Jones, will you kindly wake up your father?”

Replied Tommy, “Wake him yourself, Reverend. You put him to sleep!”

A young lady went to consult a fortuneteller. The fortuneteller had a turban on his head and was seated at a table with a crystal ball on it.

“I will answer two questions for you for the fee of ten dollars,” said the fortuneteller.

The young lady thought for a few minutes. Then she opened her purse and took out a ten dollar bill.

“Isn’t ten dollars a lot of money for just two questions?” she asked as she handed the bill to the fortuneteller.

“Yes, it is,” replied the fortuneteller. “And what is your second question?”

That’s too bad.
What’s too bad?
Life.
What’s Life?
A magazine.
Where can I buy it?
All over.
How much?
Twenty-five cents.
But I only have a dime.
That’s too bad.
What’s too bad?
Life.
What’s Life?
A magazine.
Where can I buy it?
All over.
How much?
Twenty-five cents.
But I only have a dime.
That’s too bad.

Dear Dad,
Thing$ are pretty good here at $chool, but they could be better. $ome thing$ are needed mo$t de$perately. I hope that you can gue$$ what I mean, and $end $ome $oon.
Your loving $on.

Dear Son,
NOthing is new here. I kNOw that you are doing better NOw than you have been. Write aNOther letter soon. I want to get this off in the NOon mail, so I’ll sign off NOw.
Love, Dad.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
May I present here on the palm of my hand,
The greatest trained flea in the world,
PRISCILLA!
PRISCILLA DANCES!
Ta-ta te-um-ta.
Ta-ta te-um-ta.
PRISCILLA SINGS!
Oh solo mio.
Oh solo you-oh.
PRISCILLA DOES SOMERSAULTS!
ZOOOOOOOOM!
ZOOOOOOOOOM!
ZOOOOOOOOOM!
YEA, PRISCILLA!
Clap Clap Clap (applause)
UGH-H-H!
POOR PRISCILLA!

Little Mabel Moneybags was told by her teacher to write a composition about a poor family. She came up with this classic:

“There once was a very poor family. The mother was poor, the father was poor, and the children were poor. The maid was poor, the governess was poor, the chauffeur was poor, and the butler was poor. They were all frightfully poor!”

SICK JOKES

“Mommy, Mommy! I don’t want to go to Europe!”
“Shut up, and keep swimming!”

“Mommy, Mommy! I don’t want to go to China!”
“Shut up, and put your other foot in the CARE package!”

“Mommy, Mommy! What’s a vampire?”
“Shut up, and eat your soup before it clots!”

“Mommy, Mommy! Daddy’s on fire!”
“Quick, get the marshmallows!”

The machinist at the factory took his lunch box over to a bench each day and sat down to eat. He would open the lid just an inch and peek in expectantly. And every day, when he saw what was inside, his face would fall and he would mutter:

“Nuts! Peanut butter again!”

After this had gone on for several months, his neighbor spoke to him:

“If you don’t like peanut butter sandwiches, why don’t you ask your wife to make you something else?”

“Oh, I’m not married,” said the machinist. “I make these every morning, myself!”

Why do they name hurricanes after girls? Like Ada, Beth, Clara, Dora, etc.?
Because they’re not himicanes!

There was a little girl named Myrtle who had a pet turtle that she loved very much.

One day, Myrtle’s father came home and found Myrtle crying.

“Why are you crying, Myrtle?” he asked.

“Boo-hoo, my turtle died,” sobbed Myrtle.

“Don’t cry, Myrtle,” said her father. “We will get a cigar box to bury him in, and some flowers, and at leas we can give him the nicest funeral a turtle ever had. You can even invite your friends.”

Myrtle cheered up immediately, and they got a cigar box and flowers, and invited her friends over for the funeral. They all made a solemn procession into the back yard, and Myrtle’s father dug a hole for the grave. Then they all stood around and sang a sad and lovely song.

It was a beautiful funeral.

Just as they were about to close the cover on the cigar box and place it in the grave, the turtle poked his head out of his shell.

“Look, Myrtle, look!” cried Myrtle’s father. “Your turtle is still alive!”

Myrtle looked at the turtle weaving his head. She looked at her friends. She looked at the flowers and the grave.

Then she looked at her father

“Let’s kill him!” she said.

Main chick. Janet. Some people are comparing all the characters to Lost characters and claiming she’s Kate. Now, Kate had her flaws. Kate was annoying. Kate was nowhere near as annoying and selfish as this chick. She’s like Shannon and Michael mixed together. But not nearly as cool as that would be. All the bad parts of Shannon and Michael. And Jack (pre-season six). With the durability of Mikhail, I’m sure.

So, the seven characters are given seven boxes, four of which are empty and three of which contain gas masks. Janet’s box is empty. “I hate this place,” she says. Hm, maybe if you had gotten one, you would have felt differently. Wait, what do I mean, “maybe”?

Later in the show, out of nowhere, she goes up to another character with a gas mask and grabs it from him, saying “I need this”. Yeah, and this guy doesn’t?

In the end, when the gas comes, they discover it isn’t actually toxic, but the gas masks release a toxic gas inside of them. Previews say that one of them is in on it. So this makes me think the person who’s in on it probably had no desire to have a mask. Tori, Cameron Charlie, and the Sergeant all got masks. Sergeant gave his to Moira. Blackham and Janet both desperately wanted masks. Joe didn’t say much about them. So I would say either the Sergeant or Joe is in on it. Both are suspicious. Moira is too suspicious to be the real bad guy. Janet is too dumb.

We saw the Sergeant testing the “microwave walls”. If he was in on it, he would know where they were, how they worked, yada yada. I don’t remember if we saw his hands burnt or not though; he could have been faking checking the walls. But I’m still going with Joe. We shall see.

The reporter being Janet’s ex-husband is a little weird. I understand the need for his dialogue in the detective’s office to refer to himself as “Janet’s husband” and not “me” (“Janet’s looking for her husband”), but it’s still a little weird.

Some conspiracy theorists cited the changing fortune cookie fortunes as a clue. Between the first and second episode, the fortune changes from being on one line to two. I dismissed this as a continuity error. In the second episode, it changes from “Kill Joe and you’ll go free” to “Kill Joe and You’ll go free” back to the first version. I found this a little suspect. Why would they need two of each fortune, as a prop, I mean? And I can understand making the first error, but wouldn’t someone be like “yo, wtf with random caps?”. I dunno. Probably nothing. But annoying.

In other news, Law & Order is silly. I think that’s what show it was. Something about a geocache murder deal. And wow, animated Wayback Machine. Can they even use that name legally? Anyway, this Wayback Machine was amazing. No broken images and it even archives private videos on sites you need a log-in for? And scrambled HTML code, hmm. I think I’ve seen something like that on ARGs, but I dunno, seems a little silly and probably a waste of bandwidth = money. Also, the line about the IP address bouncing around or whatever… couldn’t they just say they were using a proxy or something? That’s what it is, right? I mean, okay, I know shit about network stuff, but their computer bits (not that kind, lolol) just seemed a little dumb.