Cool Limerick Poems

Florida Man is Daddy Dearest

2012-02-03T06:32:49Z

This is a great story about a man who adopted his girlfriend to help protect his assets from a lawsuit. It’s an unusual move that has thrown a wrench into the proceedings. I’m still not sure about all the legal mumbo-jumbo but one things for certain…bedtime might be a little different.

A man with a lawsuit to win
Made his girlfriend his daughter and kin,
But since she’s adopted
At night has he opted
To screw her or just tuck her in?

Florida Finally Gets Politics Right

2012-02-03T15:06:12Z

Sometimes, not often, we’ll see Conservative’s demonstrate some common sense. Florida’s rejection of Newt Gingrich is one of those times. I don’t have enough adjectives to describe why he’s inappropriate for ANY public office. Unfortunately for the GOP, they’re left with Mitt Romney…the Republican equivalent of John Kerry! Good luck with that.

Florida was trouble for Newt
As Conservatives, rarely astute,
Demonstrated good sense
With a vote to dispense
Of Gingrich and gave him the boot.

Cracking The Nipple Slip Code

2012-01-30T05:34:36Z

Celebrity wardrobe malfunctions are manna from heaven for photographers. Just add a little black bar over the offending parts and they’re good as gold. However, not all ‘parts’ are created equal so it helps to know the rules. That’s why I’m here.

While nipples are clearly benign
Their pictures are over the line.
Underwear too
Has it’s pictures taboo
But butt cracks are apparently fine.

Airport Security Has An Occasional Perk

2012-01-18T04:53:38Z

These young ladies are having fun! Scampering around France in nothing but their pretty little underwear. I particularly like this one in the airport. I’ve always wanted to see attractive women strip down to almost nothing before going through the scanners. Emphasis on ‘attractive’ as most of the women I stand behind…well, lets just say the more clothes the better. Life is so unfair!

A young lady from France caused a scare
At airport security where
Things were alarming
‘Though she quite disarming
In naught but her chic underwear.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

2012-01-12T05:49:27Z

What some guys will do for love is astounding…and sometimes painful. A young Iranian man decided to send his lover a message she could read over and over again. He would even deliver it right to her (ahem) doorstep. Unfortunately, there were some uncomfortable side effects that put Viagra to shame. There are way too many fools to think only one is born per minute!

A man from Iran thought he knew
The best way to say ‘I love you’,
Turns out he was wrong
And damaged his schlong
When he ordered a penis tattoo.

Tebow and Denver – A Match Made in Heaven

2012-01-09T17:34:36Z

How about those Denver Broncos? Pittsburgh was no match for Tim Tebow and his ‘friends in high places’. Maybe Jesus really does watch football! In the past we only saw his work in the 4th quarter but yesterday he showed up in the 2nd. Must have been a slow day or maybe…

Jesus had hoped he could go
Skiing, but where was the snow?
With Tahoe still warmin’
And Utah still Mormon
He ended in Denver with Tebow.

How Not To Get A Monkey Off Your Back

2012-01-05T13:24:59Z

Banana-Sam, the missing squirrel monkey, has been returned to the San Francisco zoo. He was kidnapped? two nights ago and a reward was posted for his return. A man walked into the police station and told officers he spotted the monkey in a park and managed to coax it into his backpack. Unfortunately, the zoo’s assistant curator of primates says that’s “not likely”. Squirrel monkeys are skittish and not the type to willingly hop into a backpack. The police also thought the story sounded a little suspicious so no reward money has been given out. The man who found him may have turned in one monkey, but now has another monkey on his back.

Banana Sam was a little to spunky
And the story a little to funky
So instead of an ending
The reward is still pending
As the business of capture sounds monkey.

Happy New Year

2012-01-05T13:25:51Z

New Years Eve is coming up fast. Time to get out your new calendar…oh yeah…and prepare to party! I’ve never been a big fan of this day. The parties are too big or too commercial and you end up saying happy new year to perfect strangers or people you hardly know. I prefer my ‘bubbly’ at home with close friends and family. To each his own. Happy New Year!

New Years Eve has become a cliche
For a new start, the old giving way.
But other than taxes
The salient fact is
With the sun rise it’s just a new day.

The War In Iraq: A Sad Piece Of American History

2011-12-16T01:53:17Z

The War in Iraq has officially been ended…whatever that means. We still have troops, bases and commitments that will continue to drain our resources and treasury. This war can only be described as an unmitigated disaster…or in the words of Clint Eastwood…a gigantic clusterfuck! The lies, the arrogance, the stupidity of the American people to re-elect George Bush all make this one of the lowest points in American history. It continues to amaze me when looking around the world or back through history, how small groups of evil, misguided or ignorant people can cause so much death, damage and destruction. We still have a long way to go.

Though the war in Iraq has now ended
Those responsible still are defended.
With waste on a scale
That colors us pale
It’s left scars that will never be mended.

MythBusters Bust Up a House

2011-12-13T05:40:42Z

MythBusters was in town recently and caused quite a commotion. Seems a shot from a Civil War era cannon skipped thru the protective barricades and barreled through a neighborhood. It hit a driveway, crashed through the front door, exited the house through a back wall then landed in a car! (or something like that). Luckily, no one was hurt. It’s no myth those things still pack a punch.

The TV show had a close call
When shooting an old cannon ball.
While no myth was busted
A shot maladjusted
Left a hole through door and a wall.