Cool Limerick Poems

Facebook Sells More Than Your Face

2010-07-30T02:49:31Z

Facebook is the evil empire! People just don’t get it. This company makes money by ’sharing’ your personal data, not ‘protecting’ it. You need to adopt the mindset that everything you post is available to everyone, or soon will be. The Internet is a wonderful tool…but all the bad guys and unscrupulous marketers think so too.

Facebook and users still clash
Over default controls that will splash
The data that’s yours
To faraway shores
‘Cause privacy comes after cash.

Iran No Fan of Paul the Octopus

2010-07-29T02:46:26Z

Paul the octopus of World Cup fame has a new detractor. Iranian President Amadinejad calls Paul a symbol of western decadence. Uuh…ok. Any other ridiculous assertions you’d like to make? How about the one where Iran has ‘free elections’? He should try to “aspire to human perfection”, as he puts it, by pulling his head out of his ass.

The head of Iran has objections
To a cephalopod’s soccer selections.
He’s still mad that it
Says he’s not legit
‘Cause he brazenly rigged his elections.

Nissan Recalling the Cube for Being ‘Square’

2010-07-27T02:50:34Z

The Nissan Cube is being recalled in the U.S. They say it’s because of a fuel leak but I think its because this car is butt ugly! I can’t see the attraction in these tiny little boxes. Same goes for the Toyota Scion. These cars are so small that if you get in a crash, a fuel leak is the least of your problems. The Mini Cooper is another very small car but at least it has a little style. Now…how can we make the Cube more appealing?

Nissan’s recalling the Cube
A car that is shaped for a rube.
Give it some flair
By rounding the square
And then we can call it the ‘Boob’.

Nissan Cube

To Russia With Love

2010-07-27T02:22:06Z

Looks like BP is sending CEO Tony Hayward to Siberia! Is that better than being fired? If I were him, I’d just prefer your basic ‘golden parachute’ and ride off into the sunset. You never know. Maybe he picked up a thirst for Vodka over the past few months.

The board at BP sees a muff
From Hayward who hasn’t the stuff
To simmer the boil
Over all the spilt oil,
It seems he’s not slippery enough.

Big Business Whining

2010-07-26T12:57:32Z

Steve Forbes thinks the Obama administration is anti-business. I prefer to think of it as pro-constituent. Big business, when left to their own devices, drives greed to excess. They describe it as ’shareholder value’ but shareholders always seem to get the short end of the stick. When the stock goes down, management still gets paid..with generous bonuses I might add. What Mr. Forbes fails to realize is that business leaders have lost a good measure of credibility over the past several years. Thus, their complaints about ‘anti-business’ policies mostly land on deaf ears.

Steve Forbes has a view of the past
Where too many villains are cast
In business at large,
But they earned the charge
With avarice and greed unsurpassed.

The USDA Grows Mismanagement

2010-07-23T03:12:31Z

I don’t know if USDA Agriculture Secretary Tom Vislack was the real culprit or someone higher up but this foul-up is inexcusable. Any manager worth his pay knows better than to jump to conclusions without the facts…especially regarding personnel decisions! The fact that Obama “‘instructed his staff to learn from this circumstance” does not speak highly of the quality of his staff. Someone should be fired or demoted for this and it’s not Shirley Sherrod.

Vislack they say jumped the gun
But the damage to Sherrod is done.
Apologies aside
It’s time to decide
If his tenure as leader’s undone.

Ben Spooks the Market

2010-07-22T01:16:23Z

I always hate when Ben Bernanke talks to Congress. Too many ignorant Congressmen asking too many self-serving questions and before you know it, Ben’s says something slightly negative and investors all swoon. It’s like sheep leading other sheep right over the edge. Instead, we should act like cows and keep chewing until someone knocks us over. I have no idea what that means.

Bernanke gave Congress a talk
About the Fed and protecting the flock
But investors instead,
Overcome with dread,
Sent the stock market down like a rock.

The Most Popular Browser Button?

2010-07-21T04:27:26Z

The folks who developed the Firefox web browser conducted a study to determine which button received the most user clicks. The study looked at data from 10,000 users and will be used by developers to help provide a better user experience in the next version of Firefox. So which button is the winner?

Your browser has tools that can pack
A punch for the websites that lack
Interesting fare
Or too much hot air,
Just click on the button for ‘Back’.

Three Cups of Tea or Three Blind Mice?

2010-07-20T03:41:10Z

An unlikely book, Three Cups of Tea, is making the rounds among our military leaders in Afghanistan. Apparently it helps reinforce the need to engage the Afghan elders to build bridges with the civilian population. One of their main concerns was casualties from stray American bombs. I’m not sure why we need a book to figure this out but then…I’m not a General.

The General said “Three Cups of Tea”
Is useful in helping us see
That we’re viewed with disdain
When civilians are slain.
I don’t need the book to agree.

South Africa Hosts a Cup and Wins a Jug

2010-07-19T00:37:58Z

Louis Oosthuizen (WUHST-hye-zen) from South Africa won the British Open by 7 strokes to etch his name into the golf history books (and on the Claret Jug). He came out of nowhere to beat the worlds best at the home of golf, St Andrews. On a week where the winds were on-again off-again, he kept his cool and never let the weather or his nerves get the better of him. He even did it on the 92nd birthday of Nelson Mandela. I guess South Africa wasn’t quite ready to slip quietly away after the World Cup.

Oosthuizen won going away.
“Who’s he?” is what many still say.
But a win for this fella
And a birthday for Mandela
Make an all South African day.