Coquetting Tarradiddles

Life Bytes: Chapter Two

Kristian Bland — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 18:00:09 +0000

Welcome to Chapter Two of Life Bytes. I’m not entirely sure why I’m calling these things chapters when they’re really just a series of blog entries, but I am. So deal with it. Anyway, continuing with the ‘if this was all a novel’ theme, click here for the back-of-the-book description of what this particular bit [...]

Life Bytes: Chapter One

Kristian Bland — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:00:25 +0000

If you missed the introduction to all this and have no idea what the hell is going on, there’s a brief prologue sort of thing over here. I know I promised to start this series last week, but Major Life Developments happened of the sort that require significant life changes and a much-need boost to [...]

Life Bytes

Kristian Bland — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 22:38:19 +0000

It’s 2011. Photorealistic video games featuring alternate realities and fully realized artificial worlds line the shelves of game stores everywhere. I can start up a game, hop online and kill, shoot, stab, beat, maim, assassinate, decapitate, dismember and just plain murder my friends around the world. I can log in to an MMO and live [...]

Christmas. Again.

Kristian Bland — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 04:13:45 +0000

It's time to talk about The Christmas Problem again, which I did last year and will repeat a bit this year, but most of it's fresh. Or at least not dead-horse-beaten quite yet. Or maybe it is. I can never tell.

Occupy Nothing

Kristian Bland — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 21:53:16 +0000

I've been meaning to write something about the Occupy protests for awhile now, but I was busy being unemployed. You'd think that would make me a perfect candidate to embrace the 99% and bang my outrage into my keyboard and onto the web as soon as possible, but it didn't. Probably because being unemployed has its side effects. Like having to shut off Internet access for six months because I couldn't afford it.

Life – The Text Adventure

Kristian Bland — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 15:09:18 +0000

. `+.+'+++++,`,'' ;` #@#@###+#####+` ';#' ::+++'' :+ +#@@@@#+###+# ,+###' ++##+;@#++++ '; .`+@@@@@##' #+: @#@' +++###; #''+++#; .+####+ '' '#@@# ++#++, ` ++##+ :+##+ ` '###++ +'+'. +@@# ##+, ,'+', ++++ `++' #+ , +'+ ' #+; ' +;+ #+@ '#+, '`. + '+. ' @+ : +'' ' ;+' ` +@# ;+''++++++++ : +'+ [...]

The Exodus From Texadus

Kristian Bland — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 19:46:13 +0000

It’s not easy being a Texan when the rest of the civilized world ranks your state’s politics somewhere between corporate prostitution and eating babies, but it’s home. And I hate it. Don’t get me wrong, though. The area of the Lone Star State in which I unhappily reside does have its good points. For instance: [...]

Life & death. Or just Death.

Kristian Bland — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 00:39:31 +0000

Sir Terry Pratchett is going to die. Or rather, the friendly staff of Switzerland’s Dignitas clinic is going to politely assist him to death. This is a deeply personal decision on the part of Sir Pratchett and I really have no business commenting on it. But I’m going to, anyway. Probably because I’m a tactless [...]

Hallalujah, Texas

Kristian Bland — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 05:03:20 +0000

If you’re not from Texas, you probably won’t understand Texas. But one thing you can understand about Texas is that it is a strange and silly place, not entirely unlike Camelot. Except without all the singing. Here in Texas, we have a governor. His name is Rick Perry. He has great hair. And that’s about [...]

The Attic Box

Kristian Bland — Sat, 28 May 2011 16:29:44 +0000

He came home from work like he did every night, tired and hungry and late. His children were already asleep in their beds when he creaked open the doors of their rooms to check on them and blow silent goodnight kisses into the dark. He crept down the hallway to his own room, careful to [...]