the private side to me

Postive Quotes

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 21:06:00 +0000

With the recent events, I thought it only be fitting to post some positive quotes about relationships. They are good read for a little boost and a reminder of why I am wayyy better off.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." — Marilyn Monroe

Don't take a good woman for granted. Someday someone will come along and appreciate what you didn't. ♥

Don't shed your tears for someone who hurt you... Don't long for that person if they left... Don't feel sorry if you failed when you tried your best...

A great relationship happens when two people who truly understand each other and love each other for who they are come together and create something stronger than either of them could ever be on their own

Behind every beautiful girl there is a dumbass guy who did her wrong and made her strong

The Juices are Flowing Today

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 20:05:00 +0000

I have a sense of motivation today, kicking ass and taking names. I got back on track today with the 101 bucket list and have made some serious progress. You may have seen my post on Facebook trying to find some supporters and joiners for the adventuresome ones. I have another 22 here that are in progress and you can see by the list that TEN of them are kicking off on this coming Sunday. I know that might sound aggressive and overwhelming but unfortunately it is reality. I have been putting off this list for awhile and letting other things taking priority. I haven't been giving it the priority it deserves. It is also is a great way to keep a grieving mind busy. So as you guys see my post coming up for the next month of the TEN list items being completed at once, feel free to send of some motivation and support to keep it going.

IN PROGRESS

15. Run in 5 5k's-1 DOWN

16. Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity-12/27-12/28/2011

19. Weigh 145 pounds or less for 6 months-working on it, see Health and Fitness Blog
20. Don't eat out for one month, including coffee-Starts 10/23

28. Make an indoor herb garden-Ordered my indoor garden kit 10/20/2011

30. Print all pictures saved on computer or camera-WORKING ON IT
31. Do something nice for 5 of my friends just because-1 DOWN
32. Mail birthday and holiday cards to all of my friends and family for one year
33. Transfer all of my music to my ipod
34. Organize all of my music

39. Try 10 new restaurants and write a review with pictures- 7 DOWN (10/8/11) 3 to go

53. Improve my credit score my 100 points-Working on it

59. Don't eat red meat for 3 months-Starts 10/23
61. Have blank every day for 1 month-Starts 10/23
62. Hand write in a journal for 1 month-Starts 10/23

64. Don't swear for one week-starts 10/23

66. Save $5,000-IN PROGRESS

71. Read the newspaper for one week-starts 10/23

87. Put lotion on everyday for one month-starts 10/23
88. Get 8 hours of sleep every night for one month-starts 10/23

95. Stay at work 30 minutes late for 2 weeks-starts 10/23
96. Floss everyday for a month-starts 10/23

MY NEW YEAR’S EVE

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 21:38:00 +0000

I originally wrote this post on Friday, December 31st and from then and now all of the hope I had for 2011 was clouded by deceit and rejection. I had planned to post this on New Year’s Day but was resistant and then life happened. I became apprehensive and doubted myself.

MY NEW YEAR’S EVE was Sunday, January 9, 2011. I say it was mine because all of the hope that usually comes from the New Year and the fresh start didn’t happen for me until then. That night I hit rock bottom…again. Probably the lowest I have been in awhile. For the past week I was doing things out of my character, I was doing things that could hurt me and other people. I was doing things purposely for me to forget and to be numb from the pain, the lies and the rejection. That was it for me…done, finito, I am not going back to that again. Monday morning was a new day and a new start. (Obviously I am trying to keep this somewhat vague)

It only seems fitting for me to now announce my New Year’s Resolutions. I think this fresh start…whether it went along with the correct calendar schedule or not is needed. I reread my original post and made a couple of changes. I think when you read it you can hear the hope and excitement in my voice. I am disappointed that I let myself waver from my original plans.

So here is my original post from December 31, 2010…

If you haven't seen the movie "Easy A" I suggest seeing it. On my day off today…the day of New Year’s Eve, I spent time with friends getting a head start on 2011 by running and rock climbing and watching “Easy A” before the festivities begin.

The movie is about…High school student Olive Penderghast (Emma Stone) finds herself the victim of her school's "rumor mill" when she lies to her best friend Rhiannon (Alyson Michalka) about a weekend tryst with a fictional college freshman. Word quickly spreads of Olive's promiscuity and, much to her surprise, she welcomes the attention. When she agrees to help out a bullied friend by pretending to sleep with him, her image rapidly degrades to a more lascivious state and her world begins to spin out of control. As she helps more and more of her classmates and her lies continue to escalate, Olive must find a way to save face before the school's religious fanatic Marianne (Amanda Bynes) gets her expelled and she loses a shot at attaining her own happiness.

I have so many thoughts in my head this post is going to come out so confusing and unorganized. I apologize in advance...

My favorite line from the movie I have included at the bottom. Pause for a minute and read it...I'll wait right here for you. Just like Easy A I created my own reputation. In Landmark we refer to it as how people know you. Do they think of you as liar, a cheat, irresponsible, a bitch, always running late, too nice…we can go on and on with this. In her story all of the things are false and while some of mine are true, I created it. There is no man standing outside my window with a boombox because I have not set the standard, the expectation…I have created my character who allows people to treat me the way they do. And yes, just like Easy A it was nice to get the attention, nice to have friends or boyfriends or just people/relationships. BUT unless I change my character, explain the rules, set the standards, they are never going to change. What is so incredible about this is I have been treating myself as if I am this character that I created. I would not treat my friends with the disrespect I treat myself with. I don’t break promises to my friends, I don’t want them to be in bad health, I don’t advocate them eating crap and drinking. I don’t talk to my friends or even some strangers the way I speak to MYSELF. OMG!!!!

Those of you reading this….and I honestly don’t even care if no one reads it. I just have to get this out even if it is only for me to reflect upon. Those of you reading this may think I am coming from this depressing, dark place with this but no actually there is so much light, so much brightness, so much opportunity. Thank god I didn’t go on anymore like this. Maybe it is me getting sentimental about the New Year, but this is not coming with me into 2011. I want to tell some of you who may be reluctant about this change, I am sorry for changing the rules in the middle of the game. I know that’s not fair to expect everyone to be able to follow the new rules after they have gotten so used to the original ones. Knowing that, I understand if you don’t want to play this game of life with me anymore. I have no ill thoughts towards you…honestly!! I could have set the rules in the beginning but I didn’t, it’s my own fault. I wish you the best, hate to see you go and wish you would stay. Those of you who want to stick around…get excited. There is a whole new game about to be played!

"Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life."

After a HUGE declaration like that it only sounds fitting to set the rules or in this momentous occasion declare my New Year’s Resolution….

I declare in 2011…

I am going to be independent and content with myself!

I am going to be celibate with one exception. However, the rule is I am not going to tell anyone who it is and I am not going to tell them either. They will just have to wait for the moment to happen ;). There is one person I am still holding out for, one person I want to be a huge game player in my life.

I am not drinking alcohol until I reach my goal weight. The amount of empty calories in the stuff is ridiculous, never mind the amount of extra stuff you eat when you are drunk.

Weigh 145 pounds by May 1st, just in time for the summer.

Meet my biological mother, Christine.

Learn how to snowboard.

Take the Landmark Advanced Course

Be a HUGE PLAYER in my GAME of LIFE.

My Top 10 Things I am Thankful For

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 16:33:00 +0000

It occurred to me yesterday that I never said what I was thankful for this Thanksgiving. So better late than never I wrote a list of the top 10 things I am thankful for. They are in no particular order.

1. My parents-regardless of HOW they show they love my brother and I…they show us. I know I can count on them for anything and can call them any time day or night and they will be there for me. I am thankful for the sacrifices they have made for me and I am thankful they adopted me and provided me with the home and life I have now. This past year I got a glimpse of what my life would have been like if they hadn’t. This Thanksgiving I am especially thankful to them.

2. My brother-I am thankful for his bravery in Iraq even though I know he doesn’t really want to even be in the Army. He kept up his responsibilities and duties regardless. I am thankful for his creativity and the type of person he makes me want to be.

3. My sister-I am thankful for someone I haven’t know my entire life it amazes me that two people can be so similar…from our similar opinions, facial expressions and dance moves , we really are sisters…nothing half about it.

4. My friends-I am thankful for the real, true friendships and just relationships that I have in my life that go beyond material possessions or “opportunities” I can provide for people who are my friends. I may not have TONS of friends but the ones I do have I know that I would drive from CT to NH/MA to see them if they needed me and I know they would do the same. I am thankful for my new friendships here in CT that were very supportive with my divorce and got me through some tough times.

5. My love life-I am so thankful for where it is RIGHT NOW. I have always been so concerned about the future or “where is this relationship going”. It may not always seem this way but I am completely satisfied, content, happy, connected, inspired and thrilled with how it is RIGHT NOW not what it could be or might be in the future.

6. Landmark-I giggle a little right now as I add this to my top ten list but if it wasn’t for Landmark I would not be able to see all that I have in life, I would not have recognized my cause in my life and I would not be living as powerfully as I am now. Through Landmark I have been able to gain real peace, leave all constraints of my past behind, have real self-expression and openness. I am a clearing for possibilities.

7. Bella-I am so thankful for this little 5 pound ball of fur. She is a little brat but completely brightens my day when I come home from a tough day at work.

8. My job-I am thankful for my job. If I didn’t get it in March 2009 I would probably be living in Milford right now with Dad. I have complained about my job in the past but that’s because I lacked integrity with my employment. I wasn’t really trying or working hard. I was just complaining. Now, when I really put the effort I enjoy my job so much and I am so thankful for the opportunities it has provided me.

9. My life-I am thankful to have gotten a second chance at life and realize now what I would have missed out on. There is so much I wouldn’t have been able to experience, witness, feel.

10. My apartment-while I hate to be thankful for something materialistic, it is more that I am thankful for a place I can call my own. A place that I can be comfortable, safe, happy and be on my own.

Last but not least, as cheesy as it sounds….I am thankful for you reading my list and recognizing where you fit into my top 10. I hope my top 10 helps you in seeing how blessed you are and maybe never realized it; just as I did only a short time ago.

All I want for Christmas...is bedroom furniture

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 21:56:00 +0000

Isn't funny how as we get older our gift requests get more boring and practical. I have moved many times within the last couple years and after selling furniture, abandoning furniture, giving it away or even just trashing it because I don't want to have to move it; I have come to the idea that I need simple furniture. LOL. So I have selected a set that looks nice but will get my bed off the floor. Cheap enough that I can toss if need be for the next move but cute enough that I could always try to disassemble and bring with all on my own...no movers required. What do ya think? I know it's plain but that means it will go with every apartment...colorful textiles can add zest instead. After Christmas comes if Santa doesn't get my letter I am taking all of my Christmas moola and getting this.

Makin Changes-looks like it couldn't have come at a better time

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 18:48:00 +0000

Yesterday I recommited myself to SP and it was perfect timing. I had my yearly physical and my cholesterol is really bad. In my doctor's words "If you continue on this path you will be at rick of a heart attachk at 56". WHAT!! 56!! That's less then 30 years. I am not married and don't have any kids. What if I don't get to see them get married or ever meet my grand kids.
I need to make a change, not just for how I look and feel now but for my future.

I have included my current cholesterol levels (and the range they should be in) to track their improvement. My lipid panel cholesterol is 274 should be between 0-199. My Triglycerides are good cholesterol and are at 88 and should just be less than 150. The HDL cholesterol is at 76 and is suggested to be above 39. (that's good!). My Est. LDL is at 180 and should be between 0-99.

I am going back in a couple months to get re-tested. I will keep you posted.

Say Yes to Yourself

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 01:12:00 +0000

This weekend I was upstate. I brought Bella with....can you tell she just hates the car. HA HA. How cute is she?!?!?

I had a great time at the German Alps Festival watching all the men drinking from boots with their Lederhosen. But first before the festival I went on a TRAIL RIDE!! It reminded me of why I started riding when I was eight years old. Not to be in a rink going in circles but to be out in nature bonding with an animal. I am going to try to go again in a couple weeks. They have a 2 hour sunset trail. I will be sure to have pics for that one...PROMISE.

The current book I am read is called "Live it, Love it, Earn it" by Marianna Olszewski. She has an entire section about:

Say Yes to Yourself: Turn toward people and situations that enhance your life and well being, and away from those that don’t. Until you start affirming your future through both thought and action, your efforts to improve your finances will fall flat.

I have been really impressed by how much she is focusing on your self-esteem and your personal happiness as it relates to money.

I am going to print my "YES" sign for the house and I just bought a cork board today to work on my "visual board". More to come as I keep readin. If anyone is interested in reading with let me know and I will waite for you.

Today was another jam packed one. Gym at 7am with the PT, work, kickboxing class after work, studying for kickboxing certification. It is amazing how much crap they are expecting you to learn. I tell you right now...some of the aerobics classes I have attended the teachers were not so bright. I don't know how they learned about ATP and ADP+P and how it creates energy. I feel like I am learning about atoms and molecules again. Well the fun stuff is coming I can see the material coming up will be more enjoyable. I leave you with a picture of my work....

when will be my time

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 05:00:00 +0000

I have said it before and I will say it again...at this point in my life I am ready to settle down. I want to meet the person I could eventually marry. I am sick of this crap like tonight where I was out with friends and they all dispersed to find a hook up. What is a hook up going to earn me?

What makes it worse is I still continue to get involved with unavailable men. It’s not their fault. I believe it is mine, maybe it is a defense thing that I get involved with people that I cannot be with. I need to stop trying to be with men who cannot express their feelings, needs a mom or are just physically unable to commit either at the current time or never.

When will I meet a guy who is head over heels, butterflies in his stomach, sweaty palms, miss me so much it hurts, that I actually feel the same way about? Am I asking for too much? I don't need money or need to be wined and dined. I just want someone who is AVAILABLE to sweep me of my feet with all the good stuff money cannot buy.

Tonight I vent because I went out with a group of friends that all ended up pairing off and reminding me what I am missing.

What am I Working On

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 22:17:00 +0000

I am really trying to keep up with this blog stuff guys but sometimes it gets really hard with my schedule. I recently came back from San Francisco for my first business trip to my new markets. I am already getting ready for my next trip to Los Angeles. It feels like as soon as I get back I am already planning another trip.

While in San Francisco I sent a lucky guy a postcard, you know who you are if you got it! I was going to include it in my bucketlist but I re-read the terms and I said a vacation spot not a work trip. Booooo!

I have been seeing my therapist regularly still and I have to admit we have been butting heads a little. I am starting to reduce my medication to hopefully get completely off it. Let me know if you see any mood changes lol. We are not disagreeing about medication though…we are in disagreement about what the most important thing is for me to focus on and improve. I say I need to work on my self-esteem. While some of you may not believe it I do really have a low self-esteem I just put on a good show sometimes. Because of this though, I am constantly questioning myself, allowing myself to get into uncomfortable situations and not expecting/asking for what I need/deserve in my relationships. I think it holds me back sometimes too because I am just worried to fail. I have done a little research and I found how visualization can help you improve this. So, along with my bucketlist # 62. Handwrite in a journal for 1 month, I am taking time every morning do visualize myself succeeding and being happy.

On Saturday, June 19th I went to my third Tobey Keith concert. I really love this guy. He is so patriotic. As you guys know my brother is leaving for Iraq soon. Well Tobey has done 9 USO tours and to some of these places that are so small all he can do is show up with his guitar. Scary but it is that important to him. He has written songs for our troops about the places they are currently stationed and what they can truly relate to. His new t-shirt says “Never apologize for being patriotic”, which I think some people do. Maybe they feel weird taking pride in their country. The concert was very uplifting I have to say, so much that I am going again September 24th to the Hartford show which seems to be the better out of the two. I made myself a little goal to get to my goal weight by the concert so I can be flashing my daisy dukes (if it’s warm enough). I also like the date because it is near my birthday. I want to ring in 27 happy and healthy not feeling crappy about myself. I have a little less than 20 pounds. Do you think I can do it?

So what am I currently working on….
19. Weigh 145 pounds or less for 6 months
22. Get off of medication
50. Add two more stamps to my passport-I completed this one. It just occurred to me that I never blogged it!
# 62. Handwrite in a journal for 1 month

FICO Formula

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Thu, 27 May 2010 20:05:00 +0000

On my bucket list one of my goals is to improve my credit score by 100 points. Well to be able to do that you have to know what your credit or FICO score is made up of. I thought I would share some recently gained knowledge to everyone to see if there is anything you can do to improve your score as well.

Did you know your FICO score is determined by the following percentages:

35%-Record of paying your bills on time
30%-Total balance on your credit cards and other loans compared to your total credit limit
15%-Length of credit history
10%-New accounts and recent applications for credit
10%-Mix of credit cards and loans

Since there is so much conflicting advice on how to improve your FICO score you only really need to focus on the five things that really matter. Focus on the five things that matter, in order of importance.

*Pay on Time

Your track record in making timely payments accounts for 35 percent of your FICO score. All that is required is that you pay the minimum balance due on time. That shows that you are responsible. The longer you manage to be on time, the better your FICO score will be.

Now let’s review what qualifies as “on time”. Writing the check on the date it is due is not on time. Nor is sending it in three days late but backdating the check. Cute just doesn’t cut it.

*Manage Your Debt to Credit Limit Ratio

Next you need to see if you can reduce your debt-to-credit-limit ratio. Your debt is the combined balances on all of your various credit cards and installment loans-the sum of what you owe. Your credit limit is the combined total of the maximum amount each credit card company is willing to let you charge. This calculation plays a big part in determining 30 percent of your score. (Included along with that calculation is whether you carry balances on other accounts, and how much debt you have left on loans such as a mortgage or car loan, compared to the original amount borrowed.)

One way to get this ratio down is to pay down what you owe, but many people may not have the extra cash sitting around. No problem; just get a little creative. If you are sure you have the resolve to behave responsibly, you can ask the card companies to boost your credit limit. You will lower your debt-to-credit-limit ratio and this helps your FICO score.

The obvious risk with this is that you will be tempted to spend more monthly because of your higher credit limit. You have to decide what is more important-a new outfit or a higher FICO score so you can spend less on credit card interest and loans.

*Protect Your Credit History

About 15 percent of your score is based on how long a credit history you have. The longer your history, the more “data points” the Fair Isaac folks have in figuring out your money-management habits. That makes them more comfortable in sizing you up.

Cancelling a card after you have paid it off can actually hurt you more than help you because you have just wiped out some important credit history. Moreover, canceling a card is also going to affect your debt-to-credit-limit ratio, because you have reduced your “available credit”. So here’s the deal: Be careful before you cancel a card. If it has a long history, opt for keeping it. If you’re worried about the temptation of using it, simply take a pair of scissors and cut it up. If you do decide for whatever reason that you want to cancel multiple cards, cancel just one at a time; give it at least a month to be picked up by the credit bureaus, and then see how it affects your score. Then proceed with the next card. And always cancel the newest card first; you want to protect your cards with the longest history.

*Create the Right Credit Mix (the last two combined)

The final 20 percent of your score is split between your “new credit” activity and your general mix of cards. Nothing too shocking there: Don’t apply for a lot of credit card or loans all at once. It makes the lenders nervous when they see that you are increasing your ability to build up debt. At the same time, lenders always want to see a good mix of credit cards, retail cards, and installment loans, such as car loans or home mortgages, where you make monthly payments for a fixed amount and for a finite period of time. Your ability to juggle those different responsibilities is a measure of your credit-ability. But be careful here. Don’t say yes to every store that offers you its own credit card. If you have one retail card, great. No need to have three or four-especially if you are going to apply for a loan anytime soon.

So now that you know (and knowing is half the battle GI Joe…) what can make the most impact on your score you can implement a plan of attack. I know I have mine already worked out. I will keep you posted, as usual.

Sitting with Myself

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Wed, 26 May 2010 22:09:00 +0000

I see a therapist every so often and I think it is important to do so for a couple of reasons. It makes me have to talk about my feelings and not make any of my loved ones feel like they are my doctor. Never mind the fact that some people should just not be giving clinical advice. So in my recent meeting with my therapist he is challenging me to learn how to sit with myself. Something that sounds so simply but when you are like me who just rather say everything is fine and avoid the situation, this is a very hard thing to do. You have to really think about it.

So while sitting with myself I thought about what are the most important things to me right now. 1. My Career, 2. My Love Life, 3. My Bucket List. To go into detail of each of these, my career is important because this is the first time I can ever say I am happy where I work and I am happy for the company I work for. Most importantly…I’m good at what I do. I am building a future for myself, for a family, for future advancement and for the ability to work from home when a family does finally come around.

While I would love to “focus” on my love life unfortunately this is something that really just needs to fall into place. All I can do is just be open and try not to hold on to the previous hurt. I am ready. I want to be someone’s wife, best friend, a lover, comforter and confidant, provider in my own way. I want to be a mother. From my previous post you can see I am having struggles with dating. In not being in a serious relationship. While the time that someone will have to put in to really get to know me while be much more rewarding then just jumping in again and hope it all works out. I am going to do my best to be patient, not rush into things for once and just be. I am going to just be open ready and willing to eventually give all of me to someone.

My bucket list is so important because it is a real list of things I truly want to accomplish. It being on my blog holds me accountable and makes me really stick to it. This part of me I am really disappointed with. If you look at my bucket list though there are 22 things related to my health and financial change.

5. Get a new car
6. Pay off my Amex
15. Run in 5 5k’s
19. Weigh 145 pounds or less for 6 months
20. Don’t eat out for one month, including coffee
21. Don’t drink alcohol for a month- DONE 4/13/2010
22. Get off of medication
23. Pay my parents back the money I owe them-One down (4/3/10)
41. Become an aerobics instructor
53. Improve my credit score my 100 points
58. Go to the Biggest Loser Resort
59. Don't eat red meat for 3 months
63. Compete in a triathlon
66. Save $5,000
70. Take adult swimming lessons
72. Finish the 7k training program
73. Wear a bikini without feeling self-conscious
74. Get my eyes checked
88. Get 8 hours of sleep every night for one month
96. Floss everyday for a month
97. Designate a section of my house as “the gym”
100. Be able to do 5 pull ups

If this list is so important to me, why am I not putting the effort in? In a year when I look back at how many tasks I have completed and I sit with myself then how will I feel? Proud or disappointed? Will I feel like I slacked off and came up with other excuses again to not succeed. Dr. Ross has talked a lot about a short time of sacrifice can lead to long term success. If I take anything away from meeting him I want it to be his passion, his drive….for love, success, life, family and everything in between. Where is my sacrifice? Where is my dedication? Am I scared to be better, am I scared I will have nothing else to hide behind, no more excuses? I watch the Biggest Loser and you see the stories of the contestants and you see that their struggle with health and even finances (yep they bring Suze Orman on for one episode and talk about how the two are related) is there way of hiding, self sabotage, of feeling they deserve the life they currently have. Through the season they have to learn how to sit with themselves and how they really feel about themselves.

It amazes me how people can touch your life so much. I think about the contestants on the Biggest Loser, they are complete strangers to me, I think about my friends, I think about what DJ (another made up name for privacy) is struggling with but he still holds on when I would have already given up. I think about my brother and the impact my parents have left on me and everyone else I am leaving out.

I feel I am at a very pivotal point in my life…even right this moment while I am typing. Am I deserving, strong, motivated, brave, WILLING to make this change or do I want to continue to avoid, hide, say everything is fine.

Blogging Safety

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Sun, 23 May 2010 23:57:00 +0000

So a very charming, attractive, smart, funny, motivated, goofy, caring, passionate, honorable latin man spoke to me about blog safety. We will call him Dr. Ross for privacy reasons. It occured to me that I am not really protecting myself to make sure people are not finding out personal information about me. Since I work for an internet company, I feel this is especially important for keeping my job too. So I did a little looking around online and found there a very small amount of blog hosts that give me all of the options that blogspot.com gives me. I don't want to stop using blogspot so I have created a mirror image of my blog that will be open to the public and this current blog will be locked for only family and friends who have the password. Some of the very personal entries can now be very personal and my 101 list can still be open to the public. This was really important to me since I have gotten a couple of posts from strangers who have read my 101 list and found it motivating. Enjoy safely!

I Just Have to Get This Out

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Fri, 21 May 2010 23:41:00 +0000

It’s 10:27pm on Friday night. My internet is still not working so I am typing this on Microsoft Word and will post it later. My last load of laundry is drying and I just need to get some thoughts out. I do not know how to date…I do not know how to just be or just hang out or just go with the flow. For every relationship I have been in it has been like grade school where you are just boyfriend and girlfriend immediately. I am out of my comfort zone. I don’t know how to do this. I see my flaws coming out and I can see how they would scare anyone away. How are you supposed to learn these things? How are you supposed to be cool and collected? I don’t know how to treat a guy as someone I am just dating compared to how I treat a boyfriend. I have issues and I know we all do but I have real baggage. I have issues with rejection, if someone doesn’t want to see me or has something going on I immediately think it is me not that they just have other priorities. I have problems trusting someone again. How do you know if you can trust someone to be faithful, to be there, to just follow through with what they say they are going to do. I am always anxious and I make people feel anxious. I act impulsively. I speak before I think and I just spit out whatever comes to mind, good or bad. I am open and honest maybe sometimes too much. I have imperfections, I have curves that I don’t like, I have freckles I am not a fan of and I have twitch because my eyes get too dry. How am I ever going to be able to “date” someone long enough to get past imperfections and before I freak them out with all of my issues? OMG I am stressing myself out right now. How would anyone find these qualities endearing to be with me long enough to find out all the good I have in me. How will I ever figure out what kind of guys I really want to be with if I constantly am just jumping into a relationship and not treading in the shallow end a little first? All of this just makes a girl want to become a hermit or sign up for an arranged marriage. I am scared of opening myself up again and I am scared of getting hurt.

Meet Dahlia!

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 18:41:00 +0000

Meet Dahlia!!! I am not really a fan of bunnies…I have been told they smell and are a pain in the ass, but I saved her from being coyote bait. I cannot say the same for her little male friend who literally likes to f^&k like a rabbit. The thing kept humping Dahlia’s head. Not only did I save her from the coyotes but also from this bunny rapist. I have brought her home and we will see how it goes. A friend of mine told me that I could train her to go in a litter box. I got her a cage and she seems to be happy. She is scared of her ball to hop around in so I am going to have to return that. I let her loose in the kitchen for play time, she seems to have fun.

Snow Jumping Upstate

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 02:19:00 +0000

Just came back from another fun weekend upsate. Natalie got to come with this time. They had a lot of snow up there. We were looking forward to taking the snowmobiles on the trails but none of them were groomed. We made due with a track on the lawn. Then we made a couple of igloos and did some snow jumping. Check out the pictures!

This week I will be in Newport, RI for a sales trip. While it is not the ideal time of the year to go because of the weather, I am really looking forward to it. I have picked a couple of really great restaurants from online to add to my 10 new I have never tried. Also I have just never been to Newport, so I look forward to seeing the area. At the end of April I am going to a conference in Acapulco. I tried to attend last year but that was the same time at the Swine Flu first hit so priceline.com turned us around in Houston. This year I hope to make it past Houston since I am going a couple days early to relax and enjoy the sun!!

Where have I been?

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 01:27:00 +0000

I am so sorry I have been such a slacker!! I have been so busy and I literally think I could take a whole entire day to blog just to catch up. So today is the 16th and the last day I blogged was the second. WOW I AM OFFICALLY A SLACKER!!

Ok let me go back and recap as far as my memory will allow me. Ok, I remember 3 weekends ago I was in NM and two weekends ago I was at home packing for the move. Last weekend I was off for a long weekend of fun upstate. But are all my memories weekends? No, I can only remember back to Wednesday LOL.

Last Wednesday I got to work from home. What I have always wanted!! I got to stay home because of the 18" of snow and after baby gating myself in the dining room I was finally able to get some work done. I absolutely love working from home. The day went by so quickly. I was able to switch over some laundry every once and awhile, listen to my music as loud as I want and work in my sweat pants. THE BEST!! I am definitely going to think about being able to work from home with any future negotiations, promotions or new jobs.

Thursday I made it back into the office and that night we left for upstate.

Saturday we did some exploring downtown Phonecia. We normally do not go to this little town because there are so many tourists. I got a fabulous new wine glass and a rug for my kitchen in the new place.

I put the wine glass next to my coffee bug to give you a comparison. SWEET!

Monday we got home around noon time, drove to my new place and dropped some things off and then headed to the Bronx to pick up a free quad. It's not so nice there. Then back home, pizza, boys outside working on the quad, me inside packing.

So that was my last couple days in a nutshell in my old age that is really all I can remember. However, I still have a lot to tell you all about.

~~1. Blog about #39 trying one new restaurant out of the goal of ten~~
~~2. I have completed the second book of the one hundred~~
~~3. I finally have gotten all of the pictures so I can blog about #18 visiting my grandmother in NM~~
~~4. Bog about #80 bringing in one treat to work out of the goal of five~~

Ok let me get cracking...

The Weekend in New Mexico

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 21:25:00 +0000

So for those of you who check my blog frequently, I am sorry I missed a couple days. I had good reason though...I was in the desert visiting my aunt and grandmother. Now I don’t want to take too much away from my “#18 Visit both of my grandmothers” post that I will be adding after this one but is was quite a fun trip.

My brother Jake came with me to New Mexico and I couldn’t have made it without him. First let’s start with the flight there. We finally get to our seats and find we are in the very, very, last row and Jake’s beautiful window view is the side of one of the engines. You could not see anything else. Jake had a window seat, I was stuck in the middle and there was a gentleman in the aisle seat. So we get ready for takeoff, all is good and we notice the guy in the aisle seat is prepping his barf bag!!! OMG if that guy threw up it would have turned into that episode of Family Guy where we all would have started throwing up. I cannot watch people vomit without it bringing up my own gag reflex.

We had a layover in Dallas and Jake and I just needed to get off the plane. But what is with people sitting in their seats for 20 minutes while they should be gathering all of their belongings to get out the door. People do you want to hang out in this plane longer?!? This one man stood up when it was his rows’ turn to leave and put on his Mr. Rogers sweater, then his blazer, then his hat, then grabbed his bag, ALL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE!! Everyone had to wait for him. Jake and I were making comments back and forth about this in the very back and a couple of the older passengers around us didn’t seem to appreciate our humor or lack of patience. They were giving us dirty looks.

In Dallas I enjoyed two fabulous Texas margaritas while Jake smoked. I really thought I would be able to get a to go cup for the plane but no go, so I had to chug the second one. Let’s just say I was feeling pretty good once we were on the flight to El Paso.

Upon arrival we picked some cute hats out...

Saturday night, Jake and I played dominos with the gals until about 10pm and then Jake headed out to meet a friend of ours from NH that happened to move to the area. Jill picked him up and they hung at IHOP for a little while and then went to a house party. Jake got home around 3am and was still a little tipsy when we got up in the morning…sorry Jake if I just gave your secret away.

Jake realized his favorite hat was missing and it turns out he left it at the random house, of the random girl who’s party it was, who he randomly may have hooked up with. Gram, Aunt Dee, Jake and I all went to pick it up after breakfast. We pulled right in the driveway while Jake ran in and I grabbed a picture of his walk of shame. Embarrassing huh? The girl says to Jake “can I have a hug” and he gives her a handshake!! LMAO!

Jake's walk of shame!

On the way back home we were fortunate to not have any full flights. We got to sprawl out and relax. Gram and Aunt Dee had made us some sandwiches for the trip. On the flight from Dallas to Newark there was a male flight attendant who “doesn’t go to that church” feeding Jake Captain and Cokes. I need to get myself a fake Military ID to get free drinks too!! As we were getting off the plane the flight attendant told us he thought we were a couple. As Claire from Clueless would say “as if”. Besides the fact that we five years apart!!! I thought gay guys were supposed to be better at that kind of stuff.

Once we got home it was about midnight. Jake still had to drive back to NH in case he had to work the next day. His car wouldn’t start because the dome light was on all weekend. He didn’t leave until 3am. I have no idea how that kid was able to drive four hours back home after traveling most of the day! Jake, you got to take that light bulb out!

Jake thanks for coming with me this weekend. I am glad we got to spend the time together before you leave!

101 Tasks Update!

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 19:19:00 +0000

Did any of you notice the comment on my post "#49 Go to a Museum". It was a comment from Matthew Arrington from The Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge. HOLY COW!! I am getting excited people are actully reading this stuff besides my mom LOL!

So I came on today to write about last nights episode of The Biggest Loser and also to talk about my current progress with some of my 101 Tasks. Oddly enough, I just planned my new budget. It starts with this next paycheck on Friday but I think I am going to have to add another line for The Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge. That was very motivating seeing that comment. So yes, as you can see task #5, #6 and #23 are specifically related to money and a lot of the tasks on my list I will need money to do so there lies the problem.

Here comes the solution. Thanks to QL Girl and Quarterlife Finances I have made an Excel Spreadsheet with my new budget and have made Expense Tracking sheets for each of the expenses I need to track. It is kind of like having a check registry for each of your expenses. I emailed them to my cell phone in excel format so I can update with every purchase on the fly. I "deposit" the money each paycheck and if I go over the budget I have a negative balance the next paycheck. If I have extra it goes into saving or to pay off my bills. You guys are smart so you get the idea!!

Stamford Here I Come

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:52:00 +0000

I am moving back to Stamford!!! I have been thinking back and forth about this since before Thanksgiving and I decided against it about the same time Emma came down to visit. I am not sure if it was because I was clinging on so tightly to this feeling of having a “home” that made me stay longer but it is time. I know I brought this on myself but it was an unusual circumstance that I needed a place to stay, but now I need to take a step back and do what is right for me.

I am a little nervous about being on my own again. The weird noises you hear in the night, the fear of being a little scared in the dark. I am looking forward to doing my own thing, knowing where everything is in my mess and just hanging with my bad self. And if you look at the 101 list, you will see it is a task I have to complete. On February first we can put it as in progress.

Bear Mountain

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 00:34:00 +0000

Yesterday, we went to Bear Mountain to enjoy our day off for Martin Luther King day. Bear Mountain is an outdoor zoo. It has animals that are found in the area. It looks out on the Hudson River. It was a beautiful day and we got a lot of cool pictures.

Ear, Nose and Throat Update

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 21:42:00 +0000

I went to my first ENT doctor’s appointment today. The doctor says I may need to have my tonsils removed or I may need to get tubes in my ears. The first thing is monitoring though. For now on every time I get sick I have to come and see her. They are going to track the frequency and what seems to always be the problem and then make a decision on what would be the best next step. As always, I will keep you posted.

101 Tasks in 1,001 Days

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 01:45:00 +0000

I got this idea from a couple of other blogs. It is my own version of a bucketlist. I am still making some edits to the list but have added it to the sidebar to take my progress. If you have any ideas feel free to send them along. The final list will be done on Monday, October 18, 2010 and will end Octoner 15, 2012.

I think it will be a great journey trying to get them all done!

DING DING DING!

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:29:00 +0000

So as a lot of you know I get sick very often. Probably at least once a month. I have had strep throat twice in 6 months and I constantly get ear infections which is weird for adults. I had strep between Christmas and NYE and I still don’t feel 100%. So I called my doctor and they put me with a doctor I have never seen before so I could get in quickly. Well sure enough my glands are swollen and I have a big puss sack on my left tonsil. GROSS!! And then he says “have you ever seen an ear, nose and throat specialist? The frequency you get sick is a little abnormal”. DING DING DING!! A doctor finally noticed and had advice for me of what to do. So I am going to see the specialist on Monday, even on my day off. I hope we can finally get my sickness under control!!! Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Hectic Day!

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 02:58:00 +0000

Fisrt I want to say I am sorry I did not post yesterday but jeeze what a day. I took a half day at work so I could run errands. I had to go to court to get my divorce paperwork and then the DMV because I figured I had been living in NJ illegally long enough. The whole thing too forever not only because of my last name, name change but also the R. Corinne. I also ended up forgetting my title so I could not register my car.

We had tickets with James and Hannah (Hannah is my co-worker and best friend in CT) for the Professional Bull Riding at Madison Square Garden. We had to leave a 5:30 for a 6pm train and I only got home a 5pm. We then ended up going to North White Plains compared to White Plains and missed our train. We didnt get in to Grand Central Station until 7:10 and it started at 8pm. Once we got there it was a lot of fun but their was somuch running around.

Biggest Loser

noreply@blogger.com (Corinne) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 22:02:00 +0000

Ok so can we talk about the Biggest Loser last night. I am really happy that all of those people have gotten this opportunity but it really is so sad how HUGE all of them are. They were saying on the show that this is the heaviest, sickest group they have ever had. You don’t want to see any of them leave the show since they all so badly need to be there. It really is proof though of how much of an epidemic obesity has become. I am really excited to see each of the change and face all of the struggles on the show. I am looking forward to next week.