C o u n t e d F r e e

Where the Story Continues

noreply@blogger.com (Marissa) — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 00:31:00 +0000

This month marks the five-year anniversary of this blog, Counted Free.

I started writing here as a college student who needed a place to record what God was teaching me, what I felt strongly about, and what I wanted the world to know and ponder.

Because Counted Free has some subscribed followers, I hesitated to stop posting here when I switched over to Striking Repose, a new blog that reflects a new season of life. Up to this point I've re-posted everything from Striking Repose here as well.

But it's time to make a clean break.

The archives of Counted Free will remain viewable. It's my backstory, a journal of sorts. I love being able to read back through old posts and chuckle at my immaturity, review what God began teaching me then, and marvel at where He has led me over the course of five years. (I imagine that five years from now, I'll be doing those same things as I read this year's posts.)

But to simplify things, all new posts will now appear only on Striking Repose. That's where the story continues.

Readers who wish to continue following the blog or just to check in occasionally will need to change the URL they use from http://www.randombling.blogspot.com/ to http://www.strikingrepose.blogspot.com/.

Curious about the new blog's name? Read about it here.

Why I Love Laundry

noreply@blogger.com (Marissa) — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 03:30:00 +0000

This may sound completely insane, but laundry is one of my favorite activities.

It wasn't always this way. Laundry used to be a dreaded chore. But now, I think I've discovered a laundry routine that suits me. I've fallen into a rhythm. I look forward to Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays- my laundry days.

I think it's because I stumbled into this laundry ritual that syncs with everything else I love in homemaking: it is simple, frugal, and beautiful.

And just in case it might inspire someone else to love laundry, too, here's what I look forward to on laundry days:

Using homemade laundry soap

I love how easy it is to make. I love how inexpensive it is. I love how it smells. I love the satisfaction that I made it myself; I sort of feel invested in its success.

I love the fact that it is also the best pre-treatment I've found. If an article is stained, I simply pour a bit of the laundry soap on it, smear it in, and let it sit anywhere from five minutes to twenty-four hours. Then I toss the treated item into the laundry and wash it as usual. This has worked for me better than Shout or Spray 'n Wash. I love the simplicity of having only one laundry product.

Prepping the laundry for the clothesline

I usually spin our laundry in the dryer for five minutes in order to knock out wrinkles, soften the clothes, and begin the drying process. I watch the clock rather than setting the timer on my dryer, since I don't want my clothes to spin on the "cool" cycle that occurs in the last ten minutes of my dryer's regular settings.

The laundry has already been sorted once, when it was sorted into loads. But as I remove the laundry from the dryer after the five-minute spin, I sort the items within the load. I want them to be hung on the line in groups: all my t-shirts together, all my husband's t-shirts together, bath towels together, kitchen towels together, etc. This makes it easy peasy later when it's time to take the dry clothes down and put them away. So as I pull our laundry items out of the dryer, I group them. Then I lay them in the basket in the order I want them to hang on the line. (This video demonstrates.)

Oh, this is also the point at which I separate "unmentionables" from outerwear, towels, and linens. Anything I wouldn't want blown into my neighbor's yard in the event of a huge and unexpected windstorm, I hang on a short clothesline inside my laundry room. I refuse to have undergarments flapping in my backyard breeze!

I love prepping the laundry for the line because I get to play inspector. I make sure I've caught and treated all stains and that they are now gone. This is also when I notice any holes that must be mended, loose buttons that need attention, or frayed towels ready to become cleaning rags.
Wearing my clothespin apron

You have permission to laugh. I feel so official when I tie my clothespin apron around my waist. Carpenters have tool belts. Cops have holsters. Look out, world; I have a clothespin apron.

I love having the "tools of my trade" very handy when I start to hang the clothes. Both my hands are free to lift the clothes out of the basket and fold them over the line, but my clothespins are right at my hip when I need them.

My view of my clothespin apron, while I'm hanging clothes:
Hanging whites in the pure, bright sun

I find it extremely relaxing, maybe even therapeutic, to methodically hang my laundry. With the sorting already done, all I have to do is go down the line attaching the clothes. It's the kind of mindless work that allows your thoughts to wander. And in the sunny, windy weather that creates the best laundry days, my thoughts are happy. I like to pray while hanging the clothes.

It's also exciting to me to anticipate that my row of white towels and t-shirts, and even my husband's one white dress shirt, will be a brighter white when I return later to take the laundry off the line. Nothing bleaches whites quite like direct sunlight. When it's time to collect the whites from the line after they've been exposed to the sun, their color is even, pure, and a bit blinding at times.

Though I want my whites to get as much direct sunlight as possible, I don't want my vibrant red sheets to fade. I try to hang richly-colored articles during times of the day when they will be shaded by the trees or when the sun simply isn't as bright. Sometimes, though, I end up hanging colored clothes in the sunshine; and when I do, I hang them inside-out, fronts facing away from the sun.

Experiencing the smell of sunshine

Aside from beautifully bleaching whites, another lovely benefit the sun imparts to drying clothes is the smell. I sniff every item as I take it down from the line and fold it. I would like to know why sunshine seems to have an aroma that can only be detected by the human olfactory senses after it has been absorbed into fabric. I just can't figure it out. But this I know: it smells like health and wholesomeness and fresh air and a hint of nectar and the kind of cleanliness that is supposedly next to godliness.
Knowing that I've been a good steward of our resources and enjoyed the process

If I bought a 172-oz. box of Gain powder detergent on sale at $29.99, and if it lasted the advertised 150 loads, I would be spending about $105.00 per year on laundry detergent for our household. As it is, with our homemade laundry soap, we spend less than $10.00 per year. This is our only laundry product, since we don't use dryer sheets or fabric softener.

Further, when I previously used my clothes dryer "full-time," it consumed a huge portion of our household electricity. I haven't been able to calculate exactly how much our switch to line drying has saved us, because since we made the switch, several other variables have come into play that also affected our electricity bill. For the average couple, however, the clothes dryer is "the second-biggest electricity-using appliance after the refrigerator, costing about $85 to operate annually" (source). A few real-life conversations and a quick look around the web will reveal that many who switch to line drying save between $50 and $100 per year.

Finally, clothes last longer when they're not tumble-dried. In the past I would pull fistfuls of material out of the lint trap and comment that I was losing a washcloth's worth of fabric every time I dried a load. That wasn't far from the truth! A dryer is just rough on anything that gets tossed into it. I like the fact that my line-dried clothes feel thicker and look less worn than they did before, when they used to tumble in the dryer for 45 minutes.

So there you have it: six things I love about laundry. Is that so crazy, after all?

Adventures in Frugality: Homemade Laundry Soap

noreply@blogger.com (Marissa) — Wed, 16 May 2012 22:27:00 +0000

I constantly get requests for the recipe I use to make frugal laundry detergent. I love sharing it because it is one smart, easy way to steward our resources well.

The original recipe was given to me at one of my bridal showers along with a ready-made five-gallon bucket full of the laundry soap (a genius gift, by the way!). We used that original bucket of soap for the first four months of our marriage before I finally got to make my own batch. Each bucket full since then has lasted the two of us about four months.

I found all three ingredients on the laundry aisles of both Kroger and Walmart. A five-gallon bucket of this costs me less than $4.00 to make. That means I spend no more than twelve dollars per year on laundry products, total. (I skip chemical-laden dryer sheets.) We love how this laundry soap cleans and the way it smells!

READ MORE

Adventures in Frugality: The Cloth Switch

noreply@blogger.com (Marissa) — Mon, 14 May 2012 18:41:00 +0000

Today is the first day of a new era in my household. We're switching to cloth.

Napkins, that is.

Over the course of the past year, I've moved away from using paper towels for cleaning simply because of how expensive paper towels are. It's convenient to just wipe something down and then toss away the mess; but it's costly! Have you priced paper towels lately- even the store brand ones? I discovered that tossing a cleaning rag into a load of laundry is no more difficult than tossing a paper product into the trash, and it's a whole lot more resourceful.

We arrived rather smoothly at the point of using paper products only in the kitchen at meal times. Then I started thinking, if cloth is so frugal and works so well for mirrors, bathtubs, and mantel-pieces, why not for our hands and mouths at mealtimes?

So over the weekend we bought ourselves some pretty napkins. (This might as well be fun, right?) We like their green and red stripes because they match our kitchen and will hide stains well.

As described in this post, we plan to re-use our own napkins as many times as possible before washing them. The author mentions keeping each person's napkin on his chair between meal times, or each family member having a different colored napkin in order to keep them apart. Because our kitchen table regularly multitasks as a desk, I'm not really cool with napkins lying all over our kitchen chairs. I'm also not a fan of having lots of mismatched napkins, especially when we have company over.

Bed Bath and Beyond inspired a perfect solution.

From their basket of marked down, mismatched napkin rings, Steven and I each picked out our favorite. He's red; I'm green. So for just cents each, we've got the perfect way to tell our matching napkins apart from meal to meal. Even though I love him, I really don't want to accidentally use his napkin at supper after he used it at lunch. Yuck.

Cloth napkins are something I've only ever experienced at nice restaurants or special occasions at others' homes. Today we'll start using our cloth napkins on a regular basis. I still have some paper towels and napkins stashed away, but a large amount of unexpected company is the only use I can think of for them now.

I'm excited to see how much we save and how well the switch goes!

Contentment

noreply@blogger.com (Marissa) — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 19:48:00 +0000

Back in the day, when my husband and I were first becoming acquainted, he asked me the monumental question, "So what do you want to do with your life?"

Pensively, I told him my list.

#1. Be a mother.
#2. Wholeheartedly devote myself to something, without reservation.
#3. Be content.

That third aim might not seem very ambitious. Be content? As in, happy with where you are, not striving for improvement? "I like my life exactly as it is, thanks. I have no goals at all."

Hardly.

Contentment is not complacency. Being content means "feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation." It means that, though I have God-given aspirations toward which I steadily work and pray, I am satisfied - I am happy - right now. In this situation, I find joy. For these current possessions, I constantly give thanks. I am at peace with my current status, not pining for something else. Dreaming, hoping, praying for something else, maybe. But not unhappy, not fighting tooth and nail for "possessions, status, or situation" that God has not yet seen fit to bestow.

Not complaining about unfulfilled dreams, because I am satisfied in the here and now. Not jealous of others, because I am overjoyed with the blessings that are mine. Not anxiously scheming ways to obtain more, because I am too busy giving thanks for the here and now.

In reality, contentment is a very high aim. It is radically different from American culture and human nature. Our culture pines over every billboard, commercial, and internet ad we encounter. Our human nature doesn't even need the allurement. We are perfectly capable of finding something to be discontent about even when we don't know what else we'd prefer in its place. It comes quite naturally to complain, to envy others, and to simply overlook the innumerable gifts in our own lives right here, right now.

Contentment is rare. Like joy, sometimes you have to fight for it.

See why contentment made my short list of life goals?

Its opposite, discontentment, is second on the list of obstacles I encounter in making home a place of retreat. (The first obstacle was selfishness masquerading as perfectionism.)

I want my home to be a peaceful place, happy place, a retreat. As the woman of this home, my attitude sets the tone here more often than not. The vibe of my home will not be peaceful and happy unless I am just that. Content.

When I'm content, my words express joy in our circumstances instead of dissatisfaction. My actions display gratitude and good stewardship of our possessions, instead of complaints. My contentment says of God, "He is enough for me. This home He provides, the food in our cupboard, the work He has entrusted to me, the folks in my family- they are extravagant gifts from Him. And I am satisfied."

"Better is a little with the fear of the Lord,
than great treasures without content."
Proverb 15:16

The Magnitude of Speaking with Kindness

noreply@blogger.com (Marissa) — Thu, 26 May 2011 02:11:00 +0000

Someone once said that my parents wouldn't raise their voices to one another if the house was burning down.

It's true. I really don't think they would. I have never heard my mother and father fight. Earnestly disagree, yes. But they always managed to do so with words, tones of voice, and body language that still conveyed kindness.

Growing up, I didn't understand how drastically different my home was from others in this respect. I noticed that other moms snapped at their children in frustration awfully frequently. But I didn't realize that those moms were the norm and mine was the exception.

Sometime in my teens, I started to hear the difference in the way my dad spoke to my mom, compared to other men's tones with their wives.

Have you ever noticed how, when you overhear someone else answer the phone, you can usually tell who's on the other end just by the way the answerer speaks to them? Most of us have a very polite initial answering voice, which then changes slightly depending on who we discover we're speaking to. If it's a business acquaintance, the conversation generally continues in a soft, kind, "how can I help you?" tone of voice. If it's a friend we've been waiting to hear from, we progress into a louder, bubbly timbre for chit-chat. Unfortunately, if it's one of the people closest to us- our family- we often convert to a short, dull style of speaking that implies, "Get this over quickly and stop bothering me." (If you haven't noticed this phenomenon, eavesdrop a little the next time you're in the mall or at the office, and let me know what you find.)

When my dad gets a phone call from my mom, it doesn't matter what he's in the middle of. He might be in a desperate rush to get somewhere. He might be deep into an important theological conversation. He might be in a real predicament. No matter what's happening when his phone rings, you can always tell it's my mom on the other end of the line, just by listening to his tone of voice. He speaks to her more kindly than to anyone else. My dad's a loving, patient man. He always has a kind voice. But when it's my mom he's talking to, there is an extra measure of concern and sweetness in his words.

Not only do my parents set the example by speaking to one another lovingly, they also made sure that their children learned to do the same. My dad has never allowed us to get away with an inconsiderate word towards my mom. Likewise, she doesn't tolerate speech that disrespects him.

Isn't that how it should be? Those we claim to love the most should have that claim affirmed to them constantly, not only in phraseology, but also in tone of voice and even body language.

Yet I'm just now realizing that this is a rare thing I grew up with, assuming it was normal— this habit of speaking with utmost kindness within one's household.

Having parents who implied love with every word was an enormous source of security for me both then and now.

Most obviously, I was reminded that my parents loved and valued me every time they spoke to me. Even when I was being disciplined and their words were not pleasant to me, my parents spoke those words in a calm, gentle way that conveyed they were acting with my good in mind. Rarely did they use a tone of anger or frustration with my disobedience. (When hasty words were spoken in frustration, my mom or dad would soon apologize.)

Another benefit was that I knew my parents treasured one another. As a child, when friends' parents are divorcing and you are beginning to realize that everything in the world changes, affectionate words and a constant stream of mere kindness between mom and dad are like an anchor. I never once doubted my parents would stay together forever. Even if I'd been looking for it, I would have found nothing in their actions or speech that gave me room to question their love for each other.

I hope that my words and the tone with which they are spoken never allow my husband a single moment to doubt my love for him. I pray that someday our children are constantly reminded of our love for them and for each other by the kindness in our speech. (Incidentally, my husband is fabulous at this. I thank him almost every day for the loving way he speaks to me.)

When I'm in homes where kind words are not the norm, I feel awkward. I may only be visiting there for a short while, but I don't know how to respond in the midst of a family that criticizes, complains, mumbles, and snaps at one another. I leave wondering if they like each other at all.

So I want my home- my husband's and my place of retreat- to be different. I want it to be the uncommon sort of home like the one in which I grew up. I want to choose to speak to my husband with kindness, with love, with respect, no matter what.

No matter what. Back to the burning house idea— there is never an occasion to speak unkindly. Even under stress. Even in disaster. Even when the matter is urgent. None of those situations negate love, and none of them negate the importance of showing that love by speaking with kindness.

Obstacle #1 to Making Home a Retreat

noreply@blogger.com (Marissa) — Thu, 12 May 2011 21:00:00 +0000

A month ago I was so focused.

I was excited about finding ways to make our home a pleasant place.
I was excited about journaling that journey.
I thought the most important thing in my world at the time was creating this ideal environment for us to live in.Then my priorities were challenged in a big way.

READ MORE

Striking Repose

noreply@blogger.com (Marissa) — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 02:59:00 +0000

An old Chinese proverb states, "A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home."

That's debatable, really. But the general concept about home is true.

A home is something special. What's the difference between a home and an encampment?

READ MORE

"Once Upon A Time..." (Part 3)

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 02:40:00 +0000

I went home from that first date and reported to my parents, "I just had the time of my life, but I'm sure I bored him to death. I'll never hear from him again."

Steven drove home that night thinking, "I'm going to marry her."

Maybe that's why I did hear from him again. The very next day.

From then on, we spent a lot of time together, Steven and I. With groups, with our families, and with just the two of us.

I so appreciate this article from Young Ladies' Christian Fellowship. Looking back at our courtship, I can identify closely with the statement that "real life isn't always like the courtship books" that are so popular among our circles. And although those books are helpful, I'm glad that pure, God-honoring romances don't have to be dictated by someone else's journey. When God began to write our love story, He wrote it better than I had imagined it- far better than my legalistic expectations would have allowed me to appreciate if I had demanded to experience a formulaic courtship just like the ones in the books.

I had never met anyone like Steven. Everything about him "clicked" with everything about me. We had been finishing each other's sentences almost from the moment we met, yet I still never tired of hearing what he had on his mind. Not all providentially orchestrated marriages must begin with two people who are remarkably compatible and who "hit it off" from the start. But ours did. Someplace in my heart that had always been cynical and cold before, there began to grow trust and warmth toward Steven.

On February 2, 2010, I jotted this in my journal:
"Never knew anyone like you.
God's grace is all that I can credit this to.
I can't find words, so a grateful heart will have to do.
Never knew anyone like you."

I continued observing this young man who was so unlike any other I knew. A few observations, also scribbled into journal entries throughout the following months:

"I love watching him in action, interacting with others. He is selfless, Christ-centered, and compassionate. He is a man of integrity. "

"He is gentle, expressive, and sincere."

"He is the best man in the whole world. I am sure of it."

One of the most outstanding characteristics I saw in Steven from the beginning was his quiet leadership. Guiding me carefully through a packed crowd of people, taking the initiative in discussing difficult issues, changing my tire in the hot July sun when I had a flat- these are merely a sampling of the ways in which he served and lead me while we were dating. When something must be done, when a decision must be made, when someone must take the lead, he simply does. It's not a big production. It's not bossiness. It's just Steven's character. I love that about him.

When did I know, really know for sure that I loved him?

I don't know when I first started pondering the idea, but I was cautious. I tried very hard not to entertain the notion until I had solid proof of "his intentions," as they used to say. We young ladies tend to get our hearts broken a little too easily, and usually by our own fault. So, by God's grace, I was guarded and intentional about only thinking of us as friends until the moment he told me otherwise. It was not easy.

As we sat in his truck one Sunday evening in the parking lot of the church, Steven opened his Bible and started sharing things he'd been reading in 1 Corinthians 13. He had this whole list of notes on it and what he was learning. He went on about how love is action, not just emotion, and how love isn't really possible apart from God. He talked about how he wanted to spend his lifetime pursuing only one woman.

I hope it's okay for me to write that next, he became markedly nervous. :)
He said, "Well, I didn't know if I should tell you this, but I've been reading 1 Corinthians 13 alot lately because I've been praying for God to help me love you well. I want to love you like Christ loves the church, and I know that I need God's grace to teach me how to do that. That being said, I hope it's not too soon to tell you this, because I don't really know what 'normal' is in relationships. But I want you to know that I love you."

At that point I'm pretty sure I cried.

I told him that I already knew he loved me because of the way he treated me.

And I told him that I loved him too.

"Once Upon a Time..." (Part 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 18:57:00 +0000

Little did I know that almost everyone we were acquainted with had been encouraging that fellow to spend some time with me. Friends, family, church leaders.

Conspiracy? Probably.

But after-practice chats about music and books led to rich discussions about Christ, prayer, discipleship, suffering, and worship. One day, out of the blue, he called me up and asked me if I'd like to go to a Christmas parade with him and some friends. Call me old-fashioned; before I gave him an answer, I called my dad for permission. My dad said yes.

That's how December 14, 2009 became known as our first date. Steven picked me up at my grandparents' after work. We met our two dear friends on the side of the street and began waiting for the parade, somewhat nervously, not saying much. We both chuckle to recall that Steven passed my first vital examination when a Coca-Cola truck drove past, adorned with flashing Christmas lights and blaring carols.

"Pepsi or Coke?" I asked.

He responded quite decidedly, "Coke."

I said, "Good."

After the parade, the four of us went to Dairy Queen. We talked as we sat outdoors at an umbrella table and gobbled our ice cream. (You can do that at Christmastime in the South.) As soon as the ice cream had become just a sweet memory, our friends left.

Conspiracy? Definitely.

Steven and I sat at that table and talked for hours. We were discovering that our theology was identical, our passions parallel, our gifts complementary. "I could not have this conversation with anyone else I know," I remarked before the evening was over.

There would be many more conversations like that with Steven.

There still are. :)

"Once Upon a Time..." (Part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 18:46:00 +0000

Where does one begin to write a love story? At the first realization that he was "the one?" The first time the two met, or maybe the first time we ever heard of each other? Perhaps that first timid childhood thought that it might be nice to fall in love someday?

When my fiancé proposed, he presented me with a charming storybook he'd written chronicling our love story. He began with the days we were each born.

The truth is, this love story kind of sneaked up on me.

Every day since I was twelve years old, I have prayed that God would send me a man who was passionate about Him. Of course I prayed for other traits - intelligence, maturity, integrity - but I knew those would fall into place if this man possessed an all-encompassing passion to know Christ and to glorify God. I also knew I was asking for a rare find.

I wasn't really "looking" for all those years. I couldn't stand the thought of flirting, didn't look forward to dating, and barely gave a thought to what I'd want my wedding day to be like. I just prayed that someday I'd be able to marry that impossible dream I'd asked God for. High school came and went. The Christian College years passed. A couple of years as a nanny and English tutor were behind me. Even well-meaning attempts at "set-ups" by sweet family and friends didn't bring him along.

There was one night in 2008 when my cousin invited me to a Christmas party with some of his friends from church. I had a blast. I barely remember a smiling, soft-spoken young man in a striped hoodie mentioning to me that we'd taken piano lessons from the same instructor when we were children.

I didn't know I'd been invited to the party just so that I could meet him.

A few days later, he "friended" me on Facebook. I saw his status updates and sometimes casually perused his listed interests, at which my mom and sister remarked "Wow... he's like a male you."

At 22 years old, I'd still never been on a date. That sounds romantic and noble within some circles and it sounds backwards and sheltered within others. It wasn't any of those things. It was freeing and even fun at times. But it was also lonely and difficult.

In February 2009, I had the privilege of meeting Mrs. Charo Washer, who encouraged me and my friend to cherish each season of life. She told us to embrace every opportunity for service that we were afforded while we were single. She explained that someday if we were married, we would have new doors opened for serving the Lord but would also find others closed. I remember how she admonished us not to fret about or long for the future or the past, but to savor each day just as God presented it to us. I remember thinking, "That isn't going to be easy, but it definitely sounds better than always wishing, always pining to be married."

Six months later I was invited to participate in a Christmas musical at the church much of my extended family attends. I showed up for practice the first night and there he was at the piano- that quiet guy who read all the books I loved and was interested in all the same things I was. I couldn't help stealing glances toward the piano as he played. He looked as if he were having such a marvelous time at the keys. After a few practices, I went home and told my little sister that I wished I could get to know him. What are little sisters for? She quickly assured me, "He's too cool for you." Of course he was. But I just wanted to talk to him, to see if he was really as fascinating as I thought he'd be.

One night after practice, we did talk. We talked about books. We talked about music. I think we even talked about the fact that we both preferred real Christmas trees over artificial ones. Something clicked. I couldn't sleep that night. Sorry, you hopeless romantics; it wasn't because I was dreaming of him. Earlier that day I'd been given a CD of Christmas music he'd recorded. I listened to the whole thing several times as I lay in bed. I was a fan immediately.

At some point after practice another evening, he sat at the piano playing his own arrangements of my absolute favorite songs. I stood across the room trying to converse with some other ladies there, but I didn't hear a word they said! Before I knew it, my eyes had turned to where my ears were tuned and the musician had looked up at me as well. For a brief moment- just like in the movies- we gazed. Then we both became aware of it and looked away.

But not before I saw him smile.

My curiosity was intensely piqued about this John Piper-reading, Owl City-listening, one-man-band fellow with the sweet grin.

He Has Been Good

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 11:21:00 +0000

I have not blogged in a year and a half. So much has happened in that time!
Without hesitation, the past 18 months can be summarized in a single sentence:

God has been good.

In the past 18 months He has provided me with a second part-time job.

He has used that job to provide for the finishing of my CollegePlus! program and to bring me now only weeks away from finishing a Bachelor’s degree in English.

He has introduced me to new friends and opened doors for amazing new experiences.

And He has given me a beautiful relationship with the creative, loving, godly man who is now my fiancé.

Just last year I lamented the approaching Valentine’s Day because I had nearly lost hope that God’s plan for me might include marriage. I never ever would have dreamed that one year later, February 14 would bring roses from a man whose heart is more beautiful than the flowers.

More updates will surely follow. For now be encouraged, as I am, that “with God all things are possible” (Matt. 19:26) and that “every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning” (James 1:17). He is good.

Repentance and the Real Action from the True Church Conference

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 01:32:00 +0000

Previously, I posted an overview of wonderful experiences from the True Church Conference. While those events were fabulous highlights of the weekend, they don't comprise the true action of the conference. No, the real story from the True Church Conference is an unseen one, more difficult to express but eternal.

Of course, with the title "Wonderful Grace of Repentance" and an agenda of 11 repentance-themed sermons, one would've expected this conference to teach much about repentance. I was looking forward to as much preaching on the topic as I could get, for I knew that the repentance in my own life was lacking.

In the first session, Mr. Mbewe laid the necessary foundation for understanding this "change of mind" by expounding the Radical Depravity of Man from Romans 3. A doctrine that has been much neglected, depravity is well-summarized by Romans 3:10-12: "None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one."
Repentance must be a work of God alone, for man does not naturally seek God and will not / cannot change his mind to agree with God (Romans 8:7-8). I began to pray that God would use my time at the conference to work a fuller repentance in my life.

In session two, Mr. Noblit taught that the root of repentance is sorrow for sin, mourning over the offense commited against the Holy God (Psalm 51:17). This is precisely what I was convicted of lacking. At and since my conversion there had definitely been repentance, but a not daily-increasing sorrow for sin of the intensity that I saw in the lives of believers in the Bible and around me. This troubled me deeply. Mr. Noblit said, "If you cannot go to God with repentance, you must go to God for repentance." So I continued to ask the Lord to deepen my sorrow for sin.

As time progressed, several of the preachers emphasized that repentance does not end at the moment of salvation, nor is it completely mature at that time. Mr. Washer exhorted that repentance is not always greatly manifest at conversion, but will be deepened in the believer's life throughout the process of sanctification. Mr. Sims described "taking sides with God against yourself." Dr. Baucham preached from Psalm 51 on brokenness over sin.
I prayed, "Lord, show me how you see my sin, that I may be broken over it."

Upon returning from the church to our host home each evening, I had been reading over and over Romans 3, Psalm 51, and Isaiah 6 and 53. God never fails to use His Word!
In Romans 3, He showed me what I am without Him.
In Psalm 51, He taught me what my attitude must be about it.
In Isaiah 6, He reminded me of His holiness.
And in chapter 53, He demonstrated how He sees my sin against that holiness. When God saw my sin upon His perfect, beloved Son, "He was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed... the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all... He was oppressed, and he was afflicted... they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth... Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him."

In addition to His Word, preaching, and prayer, the Lord used the doctrinal lyrics of many of the songs we sang at the conference. Lyrics such as:

My lips with shame my sins confess
Against Thy law, against Thy grace:
Lord, should Thy judgment grow severe,
I am condemned, but Thou art clear.
Should sudden vengeance seize my breath,
I must pronounce Thee just in death;
And if my soul were sent to hell,
Thy righteous law approves it well.
-- Isaac Watts

Oh, to see the pain
Written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Ev’ry bitter thought, ev’ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow.

This, the pow’r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.
-- Keith Getty and Stuart Townend

I will glory in my Redeemer
Whose precious blood has ransomed me;
Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails
And hung Him on that judgment tree.
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who crushed the power of sin and death,
My only Savior before the holy Judge,
The Lamb Who is my Righteousness.
-- Vikki and Steve Cook

Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.
-- Charitie L. Bancroft

I asked God to show me my sin as He sees it.
He showed me the cross.

Giveaways Worth Entering

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 03:08:00 +0000

Usually freebies are forgettable. Not these. :)

Jasmine Baucham over at Joyfully Home is giving away a copy of her father's newest book What He Must Be... If He Wants to Marry My Daughter. Check out her website or click the button on my sidebar for more information! This giveaway ends March 13.

From A Boomer in the Pew comes a drawing for a free Calfskin ESV Study Bible. If, like myself, you're intensely curious to get your hands on an ESV Study Bible, why not check out this giveaway? The drawing will be held on March 16.

Indescribable Redemption

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:52:00 +0000

One of my newest favorite songs is "Indescribable." Yesterday I was singing it while driving (which means, of course, that it was being sung quite loudly), when a third verse came to me. Because to me God's most "indescribably" amazing act is His work of redemption, the new verse seemed appropriate. Original lyrics in italics are by Chris Tomlin.

Verse 1:
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea,
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Chorus:
Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Verse 2:
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

New Verse:
Who, in justice, demands that the sinner must die,
Yet ordained a way to be just and justify?
Who, in wrath, crushed His own Holy Son in my stead,
Yet with Him resurrected my soul from the dead?
Now I know You

Highlights from True Church Conference 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 04:18:00 +0000

I'm thankful that through TCC '09, the Lord allowed me to:

sit under excellent Bible preaching for four days
stay in the home of the very gracious Beshore family
discover new God-centered, doctrine-packed music (hear my new favorite song here)
speak with itinerant expository preacher Mr. David Miller
pray with and be greatly encouraged by Mrs. Charo Washer
gain some practical wisdom for choosing music in a Q&A session with Mr. Thomas Clay and Dr. Voddie Baucham
meet Mr. Julius Mickel from Constrained by Grace
enjoy instant fellowship with many other believers, united by Truth
bring home tons of solid Biblical resources which were made available for free from HeartCry and Anchored in Truth
obtain from the conference store books by Iain Murray, Richard Owen Roberts, John Piper, Jonathan Sims, and Paul Washer

More coming soon! Until then, check out this post about the conference by Mr. Conrad Mbewe, one of its preachers and a pastor from Zambia.

My Lord, I Did Not Choose You

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 14:23:00 +0000

Yesterday while leafing through our church hymnal, I was thrilled to discover these words. They solidly express what God has been showing me in His Word of late, magnifying the indescribable greatness of God in salvation.

My Lord, I did not choose You, ^a
For that could never be; ^b
My heart would still refuse You,
Had You not chosen me. ^c
You took the sin that stained me,
You cleansed me, made me new; ^d
Of old You have ordained me,
That I should live in You. ^e

Unless Your grace had called me ^f
And taught my opening mind,
The world would have enthralled me,
To heavenly glories blind. ^g
My heart knows none above You;
For Your rich grace I thirst;
I know that if I love You,
You must have loved me first. ^h

- Josiah Conder, 1836
_____________________________

Also excellent on the theme that I did not choose, but was chosen...

Regeneration vs. Decisional Evangelism

The Dangers, Results, and History of Decisional Regeneration

_____________________________

a. John 15:16 "You did not choose me, but I chose you..."

b. Romans 3:10-11 "There is none righteous, not even one: There is none who understands, there is none who seeks for God."

c. Romans 5:10 "While we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son..."

d. 2 Corinthian 5:17 "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."

e. Romans 8:29 "For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son..."

f. 2 Timothy 1:9 "Who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began"

g. 1 Corinthians 2:14 "The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned"

h. 1 John 4:9 "We love, because He first loved us."

Why the Titanic Really Sank

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 20:41:00 +0000

Sometimes I get so stuck searching for the "deep" things of scripture that I overlook the wonder of simple truths like "Jesus loves me." I try to delve into theological concepts with impressive labels, skipping over the simplicity of "God is great." And sometimes I bring these tendencies into conversations, attempting to discuss spiritual complexities without first establishing and appreciating the basics.

I was reminded of this today by a precious four year old. He proudly pointed out a photo from his visit to an exhibit on the sinking of the Titanic.

"Isn't that amazing," I lectured, "They thought they had built a ship that God couldn't sink, but they were wrong. It only took a little bit of floating ice."

"No," he corrected, "It was a bird. A bird flew into the boat and the boat sank."

I was puzzled. "What makes you think that, buddy? The ship sank after it hit ice floating in the ocean."

He was very serious and very matter-of-fact when he declared, "The lady at the museum said that the boat sank because it ran into an icebird!"

Spurgeon's "By Grace Through Faith"

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:34:00 +0000

I think it well to turn a little to one side that I may ask my reader to observe adoringly the fountain-head of our salvation, which is the grace of God. "By grace are ye saved." Because God is gracious, therefore sinful men are forgiven, converted, purified, and saved. It is not because of anything in them, or that ever can be in them, that they are saved; but because of the boundless love, goodness, pity, compassion, mercy, and grace of God. Tarry a moment, then, at the well-head. Behold the pure river of water of life, as it proceeds out of the throne of God and of the Lamb!

"What an abyss is the grace of God! Who can measure its breadth? Who can fathom its depth? Like all the rest of the divine attributes, it is infinite. God is full of love, for "God is love." God is full of goodness; the very name "God" is short for "good." Unbounded goodness and love enter into the very essence of the Godhead. It is because "his mercy endureth for ever" that men are not destroyed; because "his compassions fail not" that sinners are brought to Him and forgiven.

"Remember this; or you may fall into error by fixing your minds so much upon the faith which is the channel of salvation as to forget the grace which is the fountain and source even of faith itself. Faith is the work of God's grace in us. No man can say that Jesus is the Christ but by the Holy Ghost. "No man cometh unto me," saith Jesus, "except the Father which hath sent me draw him." So that faith, which is coming to Christ, is the result of divine drawing. Grace is the first and last moving cause of salvation; and faith, essential as it is, is only an important part of the machinery which grace employs. We are saved "through faith," but salvation is "by grace." Sound forth those words as with the archangel's trumpet: "By grace are ye saved." What glad tidings for the undeserving!

"Faith occupies the position of a channel or conduit pipe. Grace is the fountain and the stream; faith is the aqueduct along which the flood of mercy flows down to refresh the thirsty sons of men. It is a great pity when the aqueduct is broken. It is a sad sight to see around Rome the many noble aqueducts which no longer convey water into the city, because the arches are broken and the marvelous structures are in ruins. The aqueduct must be kept entire to convey the current; and, even so, faith must be true and sound, leading right up to God and coming right down to ourselves, that it may become a serviceable channel of mercy to our souls.

"Still, I again remind you that faith is only the channel or aqueduct, and not the fountainhead, and we must not look so much to it as to exalt it above the divine source of all blessing which lies in the grace of God. Never make a Christ out of your faith, nor think of as if it were the independent source of your salvation. Our life is found in "looking unto Jesus," not in looking to our own faith. By faith all things become possible to us; yet the power is not in the faith, but in the God upon whom faith relies. Grace is the powerful engine, and faith is the chain by which the carriage of the soul is attached to the great motive power. The righteousness of faith is not the moral excellence of faith, but the righteousness of Jesus Christ which faith grasps and appropriates. The peace within the soul is not derived from the contemplation of our own faith; but it comes to us from Him who is our peace, the hem of whose garment faith touches, and virtue comes out of Him into the soul.

See then, dear friend, that the weakness of your faith will not destroy you. A trembling hand may receive a golden gift. The Lord's salvation can come to us though we have only faith as a grain of mustard seed. The power lies in the grace of God, and not in our faith. Great messages can be sent along slender wires, and the peace-giving witness of the Holy Spirit can reach the heart by means of a thread-like faith which seems almost unable to sustain its own weight. Think more of Him to whom you look than of the look itself. You must look away even from your own looking, and see nothing but Jesus, and the grace of God revealed in Him."

- Charles Spurgeon, from his book All of Grace

My Inaugural Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 04:50:00 +0000

In the past few days, I've heard swarms of negative remarks about the inauguration. Christians have spouted everything from hostile jokes and puns to declarations of refusing to acknowledge Obama as President. I've contributed disparaging remarks of my own. However, yesterday as I prayed for Barack Obama, the new chief executive of my nation, God gave me a different perspective and an incredible peace about this Inauguration Day.

I'm not looking forward to President Obama's brand of "change." I do not support his unbiblical stances on most issues. He is certainly not the man I voted for in November (neither is John McCain, for that matter).

But the election is over. It ended two months ago. People so blessed as to live in the United States of America voted. When all was said and done, we discovered that the Sovereign Lord had providentially ordained for the next President of the United States to be Barack Obama. Period.

He's been sworn in. Now we know that Barack Obama is our God-ordained civil authority. Romans 13:1 says "Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God."

The word "subjection" in Romans 13:1 means "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating" (Strong's 5293). While we are never to condone the sin of our national leaders, we tread into dangerous waters when we refuse to have an honoring attitude toward the authority God has placed over us. When our thoughts and words about the President turn from discernment to dishonor, we sin. Indeed, we reject the ordinance of God when we do not honor and pray for President Barack Obama.

Romans 13:2
"Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves."

2 Peter 2:13-17
"Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor."

1 Timothy 2:1-4
"First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth."

Good Reading: A New Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 04:34:00 +0000

On my shelf sits a tattered spiral-bound composition book full of scribbled scripture references, notes, and quotes. I refer to that notebook every now and then when I need to be reminded of past lessons learned or wise words that God used to change me.

Some of the simplest, best advice I've ever received is jotted in that book:

"It is time to read our Bibles. We need to read that rascal aggressively and systematically all the way through at least three times a year."

The author of this quote is a former Bible teacher of mine from college, one of those "heroes" I wrote about a year and a half ago. In his class, I learned amazing things about the second half of the Old Testament. I gained vivid mental images of judges and prophets. I discovered why "Bubba and Earl" needed the cities of refuge. I read genealogies with a newly necessitated eye for detail. But the most significant treasure that followed me out of class on the last day of that semester was a heightened respect and a growing hunger for the Bible.

A profound appreciation for the Scripture is vital to the new blog that I'm thrilled to share with you, authored by that same teacher.

For good reading, faithful to God and His Word, check out
A Plumbline in the Midst:
Thought provoking glances into the Bible and Christianity.

True Church Conference 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 03:15:00 +0000

I'm incredibly excited about attending True Church Conference next month! Previously I wrote a post in which I listed my favorite preachers. All three of them, in addition to others, will be preaching for four days on "The Wonderful Grace of Repentance." Preaching at the conference are Paul Washer, Voddie Baucham, Conrad Mbewe, David Miller, Jonathan Sims, and Jeff Noblit. I look forward to hearing God's Word preached in person by these men who strive to be so faithful to it.

SESSION 1: The Radical Depravity of Man
SESSION 2: Grace Wrought Repentance
SESSION 3: The Repenting Believer
SESSION 4: Preaching Repentance
SESSION 5: National Repentance
SESSION 6: Brokenness
SESSION 7: My Journey in Grace So Far
SESSION 8: Counseling Seekers for Repentance
SESSION 9: Taking the Message to the World
SESSION 10: The Doctrine of Regeneration
SESSION 11: Repentance & the Glory of God

More information

The Word

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 04:37:00 +0000

Ours is a postmodern world of try-on truth and fad spirituality, even church leaders consumed with meeting felt needs and desperate for something new to stir the crowd. For the past few days, I've had this song by Sara Groves stuck in my head. Her catchy, original lyrics are an excellent reminder of where the answer to our real need lies- in the absolute, unchanged truth of God's eternal Word.

I've done every devotional,
Been every place emotional,
Trying to hear a new word from God,
And I think it's very odd
That while I attempt to help myself,
My Bible sits upon my shelf
With every promise
I could ever need.

And the Word was,
And the Word is,
And the Word will be.
The old Word is the new Word is
The old Word is the new Word is...

People are getting fit for truth
Like they're buying a new tailored suit:
Does it fit across the shoulders?
Does it fade when it gets older?
We throw ideas that aren't in style
In the Salvation Army pile
And search for something more to meet our needs.

I think it's time I rediscover
All the ground that I have covered,
like "Seek ye first"- what a verse!
"We are pressed but not crushed,
Perplexed but don't despair;
We are persecuted but not abandoned."
"We are no longer slaves; we are daughters and sons!"
And "When we are weak, we are very strong."

And "Neither death nor life
nor present nor future
nor depth nor height
can keep us from the love of Christ."

And the Word I need is the Word that was,
Who put on flesh to dwell with us
"In the beginning...."

- The Word by Sara Groves

Valentine's Day for Cynical Unattached People

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:02:00 +0000

Valentine's Day was invented by a person of uncommon cruelty.

That's typically my attitude toward the 14th of February. Yes, I'm usually one of those cynical unattached people who disparage the holiday. I know it's well over a month away, but when I began seeing the pink and red hearts all over the commercialized world, I started having those sardonic thoughts by default. Thoughts of wearing black or blue or anything other than red on the 14th of next month. Thoughts of responding "Happy what day?" when greeted by those perpetually cheerful, annoyingly perky paired people. Thoughts of buying myself candy hearts, teddy bears, and red roses as bonfire material.

You see, Valentine's Day is a very biased holiday. It discriminates against people who don't have people to share it with. People who do have people think the other people are party-poopers, but the other people are really just not included. Because on Valentine's Day, everyone is supposed to be thinking about how much they love somebody special and how much they are loved by that somebody. And if you don't have somebody, why observe the holiday of love?

So there I was, scrubbing a toilet and humming melancholy tunes and mourning how I don't have anybody to think about on Valentine's Day. Then, out of the blue (pun intended), I remembered Jeremiah 31:3:

"The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: 'Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.'"

This verse is directed to Israel, but it is applicable to all the people of God. Dr. John MacArthur says, in reference to this passage, "that is the kind of love that God places upon those who belong to Him eternally."

And eternally is the key. That's what completely changed my mindset about Valentine's Day in a split second. I do have Somebody to think about on Valentine's Day. Not only does He love me with a love much greater than any human could ever give, His love is eternal, everlasting.

This time next year, many of those perpetually cheerful, annoyingly perky paired people won't be cheerful or perky or paired anymore. They'll be cynical unattached people like myself. They will have discovered that they really didn't love that somebody special they were thinking about a year earlier, or maybe that that somebody didn't love them.

But the Somebody I will think about on Valentine's Day loves me with an everlasting love. An eternal love that is not conditional on my appearance, charm, or personality. A love that will last long after Valentine's Day is forgotten.

I don't intend to try to put God into human terms or equate His love with human love. But that's just it: How in the world could I be so self-centered and self-pitying about a lonely Valentine's Day when I am loved by the Lord of the universe, One whose love cannot be described... One whose love cannot be measured... One from whose love I cannot be separated?

Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, For your sake we are being killed all the day long;we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So I've decided not to wear black, be sarcastic, or let loose any pyromaniac tendencies on Valentine teddy bears.
Pink and red doily day is still far enough in the future that most of us would rather not think about it quite yet. I mention this now because I'll need to be reminded again before February 14th. And I'm going to need someone to hold me to that decision.

How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:7

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:14-19

How Am I Known?

noreply@blogger.com (Rissa) — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:28:00 +0000

I love to read those little biographical quips about the author at the ends of books or magazine articles. Sometimes, what I read about the writer is the only determining factor in whether or not I'm interested in what they have written.

Dee Author lives in the gorgeous Rocky Mountains where she enjoys walking at sunset, reading romances, and cuddling her cat, Mr. Darcy.
Not going to read it.

Sarah Skribbles is a retired grammarian who moved from New York City to Nowhere, Alabama three years ago. She bases her fiction on real-life experiences and a quirky imagination.
Better.

Penn Wrights knows her writing can never come close to Dickens, Austen, or Twain.
I'm interested.

More fascinating than what authors have to say about themselves, however, is what they reveal about their children. Recently I saw an author bio sketch that basically read:

Jill Scrawl is a PhD living in Indiana. Her oldest daughter Jessica is an Alpha-Wonderful Scholar at Brilliant University. Her youngest daughter, Jennifer, is an A honor roll student in her junior year of high school.

This woman (or her publisher, perhaps) introduces her children by their scholastic achievements. People with older children identify them by their profession, such as "My daughter Susan, the nurse" or "You remember, Barb, in real estate."

Perhaps those folk are known primarily by their scholarship and careers because that's just the way our society identifies people. Or maybe academic and professional endeavors really are the most prominent facets of their personality. Either way, reading that snippet left me wondering, "How am I known?"

If my parents had to describe me in a sentence, what would they say?
Rissa is a former 'A' student at Christian College?
Rissa is an online English teacher?
Rissa stays busy babysitting, studying, and teaching?

I hope not! Sure, those are things I've done and things I do, but they are the last things I wish to be known for. I hope that academic success and job opportunities are not the defining pieces of my life.

On the other hand, what would I want to be known for? How would I like to be introduced to the world? What primary impression do I want to leave on people when I walk away? This is an important question, since the answer must determine the most prominent part of my life.

In R.C. Sproul, Jr.'s book When You Rise Up, one of my favorite points concerns what children are recognized for. Mr. Sproul noted that in home education, our goal should be different from the goals of the state schools. High performance on tests and the ability to earn a high salary are inconsequential in eternity. The goal of Christian education should be an eternal one: children with changed hearts who walk with the Lord, bear fruit, and become more like Christ daily. Mr. Sproul points out, however, that homeschoolers usually give special recognition to students for the same reasons that public schools do- good grades, scholarships, and eventually high-paying jobs. We even tend to uphold these achievements as proof that home education "works." But if our goal is different, our proof of success is different as well. I will never forget Mr. Sproul's words: "Would you rather have your child graduate at the top of his class at Harvard, become a Rhodes Scholar, win the Nobel Prize, and serve on the board of the Council for Secular Humanists? Or would you rather have your child be unable to make it through the local high school, become a garbageman, and be a godly husband and father?"

In the same line of thought, would I rather be known as the Nobel Prize winner, or (in the future) as a godly wife and mother? I choose the latter.

For now, I wouldn't mind being known as "the one who loves children" or "the one who's into theology."

But in a bigger sense, where a general description is required, I hope that my biographical quip would read something like "Rissa is a child of God by His grace" or "Rissa loves the Word of God" or "Rissa walks humbly before the Lord."

No, I don't think I'm portraying any of those very well at this point. I do spend too much of my talking, thinking, and acting on those academic and activity sort of pursuits, projecting a different focus. But God is working to conform me to the image of His Son Jesus Christ every day. I pray that, ultimately, that is how I'm known.