Please, no precious folkie yawners! ●
- – Producer/ex-husband Brian Ahern to Emmylou on song selections for Old Yellow Moon.

You’ve got your rock country, you’ve got folk country, you’ve got pop country. I do feel like if Tom Petty or Springsteen came out today, they would be on country radio. I call it the last rock and roll frontier. ●
- – The Band Perry’s Kimberly Perry.

Q: Should all songwriters be as politically and socially conscious as you are?
A: I don’t try to figure out what anybody else should do about anything, much less songwriting. I am [political] and I don’t apologize for it. I tell you what people shouldn’t do: Tell me what I should and shouldn’t write about in America. ●
- – Steve Earle.

We all grew up listening to him so we knew how great he was. But, when we were in the room with him, and he started singing and playing, he flat sang his ass off. He blew us all away. We were looking at each other like ‘What are we doing in this business’ when we saw him start singing and playing, because he’s just one of the masters at it. ●
- – Tim McGraw on John Fogerty, who appears on tonight’s Tim McGraw television special.

I revere Brad because he’s so incredibly musical. I revere him more like the older artists who I look up to – which is funny because he’s a lot younger than me. [...] This is kind of a new golden age for country guitar guys, and Brad deserves lots of credit for that. ●
- – John Fogerty on Brad Paisley.

She’s the best female singer we’ve had in our format maybe ever. She was a nobody in Oklahoma. On the first tour, she told me, ‘I feel like I am a celebrity for no reason, like people are resentful I didn’t have to play bars for 10 years to get a record deal.’ And I told her she was one of the greatest gifts we have been given in Nashville. ●
- – Brad Paisley on Carrie Underwood.

We were never a huggy family. Or a ‘let’s talk it out’ family. Technically I have siblings, but they are quite a bit older than me — I was the accident — so I have the only-child syndrome going on. I’m a little more selfish, a little more independent, a little closed. I do wish I were softer. I wish I were able to form relationships better. But hey, I mean… I’m not a sociopath. ●
- – Carrie Underwood on Carrie Underwood.

I’m obsessed with “Cruise” by Florida Georgia Line. It’s the catchiest thing I’ve heard in years, and I love the Nelly version too. ●
- – Ugh, Taylor Swift.

That’s what we’re missing is some diversity. We only have four types of songs out there. We’ve got the guy crying over the girl, the girl mad at the guy, and we’ve got the girl going crazy, getting drunk and we’ve got the guy going crazy, getting drunk. ●
- – High five, Jason Boland. Dark & Dirty Mile is out now.

The rural theme is very popular, almost to the point of being overdone. ●
- – No kidding, WBWI-FM (92.5) vice president and general manager Ken Scott.

We’re doing a lot more with guitars, we’re doing some loop stuff, some vocal and doubling effects on this record. Feeling like I had a batch of songs that I was excited about early in the process took a lot of the pressure off. I’d be a little more nervous about doing all that if we didn’t have the songs. ●
- – Chris Young is beefing up his sound on the next album. Uh oh.

SALT SPRINGS — A 72-year-old Marion County man is accused of firing his gun near a teen and threatening to kill his father because his music was too loud.
In an exclusive interview, Stan Kaniewski said he just couldn’t take it anymore.
“My nephew was heading to church for the evening service and he was driving down the road, playing his country music, and then the old man started yelling and shooting,” Ruthie Maddux explained. ●
- – Before I render any judgments, I’ll need to know if the kid was playing a Jason Aldean song.

At the end of the day, I’m a songwriter. If the artist thing goes away tomorrow, that’s OK. I’ll be sitting my ass on the couch writing songs that I love and getting a paycheck. Everything else is icing on the cake. ●
- – The way Kacey Musgraves sees it, there isn’t actually a whole lot riding on her performing career. No wonder she can afford to be badass.

Anyone know a good guest rapper? I’m trying to make a country album. ●
- – Long live Drunken Martina.

Finally, Sammy Kershaw salutes George Jones with “The Route That I Took.”

I really don’t know, but he did seem very fond of his sausage. ●
- – Roger Williams, president of Williams Sausage Company, on George Jones’ favorite meat or poultry dish.

Imagine you’re George Jones, and every night you’re expected to sing as good as you did on a song like “She Thinks I Still Care.” He was a shy country boy from East Texas walking around with that on his shoulders. He knew people expected him to be the greatest country singer that ever lived. He was the Babe Ruth of country music, and people expected a home run every time. ●
- – Merle Haggard on George Jones.

That can definitely mess with your music – if you overthink ‘What’s radio going to think,’ or ‘What are these people going to think.’ We’ve grown as singers. Our harmonies have gotten stronger, and we’re writing about where we are right now in our lives. Hopefully, radio will play us. I think that would be amazing. I also have so much faith in our fans that I don’t think I would lose a lot of sleep if it didn’t work with radio. I’m thankful for the chance, but the fans have driven the whole thing. ●
- – Radio support wouldn’t hurt, says Ashley Monroe, but the Pistol Annies will be fine either way.

I will never f**k with what you do. Even if it fails, you’ll know I gave you the chance to be who you want to be. ●
- – Lost Highway/UMG Nashville’s Luke Lewis to Kacey Musgraves.

It sounds like old-school country, but the ideas are a little more modern. I do love the juxtaposition. I hope it just makes people think. ●
- – Kacey Musgraves on Same Trailer Different Park. Her goal is to make people THINK? Talk about being out of step with current trends in country radio…

Even if there were many people up to the physical challenge of mimicking Jones’s untempered sweep of a voice, it’s not something you’d care to hear, like every writer channeling Cervantes. But faint echoes and hand-me-down fragments — John Anderson’s comic crescendoes; Gary Stewart’s quavering, edge-of-tears high notes; Vern Gosdin’s slipperiness and low-register Sensurround (does anyone recall Charlton Heston’s Earthquake?) — are as abundant in country as they are welcome. ●
- – Robbie Fulks on the George Jones influence.

I’m really into Jackson Browne, Bruce Springsteen and Sam Cooke and a lot of that early Motown stuff. My biggest inspiration was just the soul of Sam Cooke, and I’ve tried to emulate some of that same soul in what I do. [...] I would love to do an album full of Smokey Robinson songs, and Bob Seger and (John) Mellencamp and all that stuff. I think that’d be awesome. ●
- – Country artist Kip Moore on his influences.

It is with the utmost regret to announce the closing of Eddie Montgomery Steakhouse on Sunday, May 5, 2013. ●
- – Eddie Montgomery’s restaurant venture ended inauspiciously, with employees learning that they were suddenly out of work by reading a post on the company’s public Facebook page.

“It’z Just What We Do,” the most hip-hop-flavored track, features a shout-out to Bocephus (Hank Williams Jr.) and Jesus, even as [Florida Georgia Line's] Kelley and Hubbard exhort their friends to “call the hotties, tell ‘em about the party so don’t forget the Bacardi, time to get your buzz on, your love on all night long.” ●
- – Good God.

I think what we have to do as a format is understand that we need to balance it out. If there is some pop stuff, great. If there is some rock stuff, great. However, we should never abandon what made this genre great. We should always find a spot for traditional music, in my opinion. ●
- – Justin Moore.

“Barefoot Blue Jean Night” was, of course, a crowd favorite, with lines like “we were shining like lighters in the dark in the middle of a rock show.” And he sent the crowd of 13,139 into a frenzy when he and his band mates belted out the Beastie Boys’ “(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party!)” ●
- – From a review of Jake Owen’s opening set at a Jason Aldean show.

If George Strait is the king [of country], then Brad Paisley is the president. ●
- – Aaron Henningsen of The Henningsens, who will be opening for Brad Paisley this summer. Coincidentally, they’re on the same record label.

My emotional breakdown after Letterman is no secret. The doc says I am immobilized by opportunity. That’s some black fly in your chardonnay shit right there. [...] I don’t want to divulge the ugly details but, yes, I’m in development with Worldwide Pants and have multiple deals with conflicting production companies — kinda like Willie Nelson did with his publishing back when he wrote ‘Crazy.’ ●
- – Elizabeth Cook, in an East Nashvillian article about a new documentary focused on camaraderie and merrymaking in bohemian Nashville. Todd Snider figures prominently.

I love his attitude and he brings a big energy to the stage… He reminds me of a young Hank Jr. ●
- – Tim McGraw on Brantley Gilbert.

I can’t recall when I’ve been more moved by live performances.

Vince Gill and Patty Loveless sing “Go Rest High on That Mountain.”

Alan Jackson closes the service with “He Stopped Loving Her Today.”

There is a new documentary, just released, and it’s really of me simply being myself. And if people don’t like it, then they don’t have to f**king be around me. I don’t care about being a bad influence to peoples’ kids. I really don’t. I’ve been writing songs eight hours a day for twenty five years, and the reward of that is that I get to keep my spirit going the way I want to. ●
- – Todd Snider.

There’s not as many record companies as there used to be, though, and the ones left are having trouble competing with the Internet. A lot of songs are sort of given away — not normally a good thing if you have a record company! One night I was at a music premiere and a young kid came up and said, “I’m a big fan of yours; the other day I downloaded 12 of your songs.” ●
- – Willie Nelson on changes in music distribution and consumption.

I don’t know that when I first started listening to him that I was really trying to copy him. But after listening to him so much, I started going, ‘How does he do that?’ Then I just became obsessed, literally obsessed, listening to as much as I could. In recent years, it’s become almost a hobby. … Most people play golf or whatever; I sit down and listen to George Jones. ●
- – Lee Ann Womack on the George Jones influence in her vocal style.

I knew I didn’t want to make a country record, just because that’s not really what I would have ever made as a solo artist. I loved Martie and Emily and what they did on their instruments, and I loved what we created and how we sounded together. But as an overall genre, country music was never where I would have guessed I would have been. ●
- – Natalie Maines to NPR.

We were like, ‘Are you going to do anything anytime soon?’ She was like, ‘I don’t know, I might be done.’ We were like, ‘No! We will write you a record and when we do, you better cut it.’ ●
- – Angaleena Presley and her fellow Pistol Annies are doing their best to drag Patty Loveless out of semi-retirement from record-making. If it works, I’ll forgive their involvement in “Boys ‘Round Here.”

The strangest thing was, you would start to feel almost normal around him, watching football, eating dinner, telling jokes-just another legend in a La-Z-Boy recliner. And then I would go see him at the Grand Ole Opry or on the road and fans would start crying at the sight of him. He would bust into “White Lightning” and raise the roof. And then out of nowhere would come the words, “He said I’ll love you till I…” and suddenly, I’m 12. And I’m back in West Virginia, and I’m studying those records, wondering what he’s like. Or I’m 20 again, watching backstage the night before I leave home to chase my own dream. Wondering how he bends that word, how he milks every vowel. Watching how he works the mic, thinking, “Just how can one man sing that low and that high?” ●
- – Brad Paisley on getting to know George Jones, man and myth.

Ever just wanted to drink out of the container in the check out line while the cashier looks at you like you are totally crazy? ●
- – Ladies and gentlemen: Taste of Country’s Jeremy Robinson! Dude makes Alison Bonaguro look like Peter Guralnick.

I never wanted to learn to play music to play by myself, that’s never been much fun. Every time you play with somebody, that’s the point. It’s like having a conversation. It’s hard to have a conversation by yourself. It’s the same thing with an audience. If they don’t respond and it’s a one-sided conversation, you’re left feeling deflated. You want it to go both ways, the same with playing music. ●
- – Vince Gill on his love of collaboration.

Four country music stars are announcing their support for legislation that would legalize same-sex marriage in Illinois. ●
- – How many of the stars can you guess before clicking the link? Hint: Two men and two women, and your odds of hearing any of their recent works on a commercial country station aren’t great.

No one is going to write about people who are doing the same thing over and over. I think it’s very important to put your opinions in the music and create something that is different. You just have to be okay with it being destroyed once in a while. That’s part of it. ●
- – Eric Church on always taking chances.

Anyone who says they know is, well… see, I’m Australian. I use a lot of curse words. So I’m thinking now, ‘How do I put this?’ People will want to tell you that they think they know. But they don’t know if it’s a hit. No one does. ●
- – Sherrie Austin on music chart gurus and prognosticators.

He gets tickled all over himself sometimes, and we have to take him back to the bus and lock him up until he gets over it. We’ve talked about trademarking it, and Rounder has even talked about putting a ring tone out with his laugh. When it goes off, you will not miss your phone call! ●
- – Jamie Dailey on the infectious laugh of duo partner Darrin Vincent.

Police said Spears, who has a long record of misdemeanors and public complaints, was taken into custody without incident at the country station as he admired his work from the seat of his John Deere riding lawnmower. Deputy William Cranston said the man was finishing off a bottle of whiskey and singing to himself before turning around with his hands behind his back.

“We’d gotten a few calls about a white male driving a mower through town with shoes dragging behind, but hadn’t been able to find him until the radio station manager called us,” said Cranston.

WTSM manager Bart McGee confronted the man before calling police.

“I asked him if he was with our lawn care service because he looked suspicious and kind of familiar. There wasn’t a truck or trailer anywhere, just him on his mower,” said McGee. “It wasn’t until he said something about us only playing George Jones because he died that I noticed what he’d just done… there was a huge ‘F**k You’ mowed into the grass.”

Although Mr. Spears was not available for comment at press time, his wife – Laverne Spears, also local – was all too pleased to fill us in on the events leading up to the incident. “His alarm clock woke him up with the radio playing that Forrest Gump remix of ‘Finally Friday’ and he got up cranky. He said he was gonna show them sumb*tches about respecting the Possum.”

“He went out and cranked up the mower and I thought he was just gonna cut the yard till he drove off down the road,” she continued.

Spears’ ride apparently took him to Barney’s Package Store, then the Goodwill Store, where he was seen tying shoes behind the mower. He snarled mid-morning traffic as he drove the slow-moving vehicle through the town square to his final destination.

“He pointed at those shoes behind his mower and asked me ‘Who the f**k’s gonna fill em? Fake Shelton?’ I could smell whiskey on his breath,” recounts McGee. “Then a light came on and I remembered he was the same guy who cut our signal a couple of years back for playing ‘Christmas Shoes.’ What a kook!”

Spears may now be facing some actual jail time due to his prior record. His charges for this “protest” include operating a non-street-legal vehicle in traffic, driving while intoxicated and vandalism.

“That vandalism charge is bullsh*t,” claims Mrs. Spears. “Their grass was high as an armadillo’s *ss. He was helping them out. They can kiss my *ss too! Long live the Possum!”

Reported by “Trailer” Parkman of Farce the Music. Find more satirical articles in the Fake News archive, or grab our free Fake News e-book for reading on the go.

05/02/13 – Lacy J Dalton w/ Dale Poune – Freight & Salvage – Berkeley, CA

05/02/13 – Country Trash w/ Miss Lonely Hearts – Crepe Place – Santa Cruz, CA

05/03/13 – Riders in the Sky – Center for the Arts – Grass Valley, CA

05/03/13 – Caitlin Rose w/ Daniel Romano and Jay Lingo – Crepe Place – Santa Cruz, CA

05/03/13 – Todd Snider w/ Jeff Austin, Elizabeth Cook, Great American Taxi – John Ascuaga’s Nugget – Reno, NV

05/04/13 – Todd Snider w/ Jeff Austin, Elizabeth Cook, Great American Taxi – John Ascuaga’s Nugget – Reno, NV

05/04/13 – Infamous Stringdusters w/ American Jubilee – Great American Music Hall – San Francisco, CA

05/05/13 – Todd Snider w/ Great American Taxi and Amanda Shires – Humbrews – Arcata, CA

05/07/13 – Todd Snider w/ Great American Taxi and Amanda Shires – El Rey Theater – Chico, CA

05/07/13 – Infamous Stringdusters w/ Brothers Comatose – Harlow’s – Sacramento, CA

05/08/13 – Todd Snider w/ Great American Taxi and Amanda Shires – Harlow’s – Sacramento, CA

05/08/13 – Jon Pardi – The Rodeo Club – San Jose, CA

05/08/13 – Laurie Lewis w/ Tom Rozum & Nina Gerber – Freight & Salvage – Berkeley, CA

05/08/13 – Catie Curtis – Palms Playhouse – Winters, CA

05/09/13 – Todd Snider w/ Great American Taxi and Amanda Shires – SLO Brewing Company – San Luis Obispo, CA

05/09/13 – Chris Thile & Michael Daves – Great American Music Hall – San Francisco, CA

05/10/13 – Ruthie Foster – Freight & Salvage – Berkeley, CA

05/10/13 – Junior Brown – Center for the Arts – Grass Valley, CA

05/10/13 – Cody Canada & The Departed – Great American Music Hall – San Francisco, CA

05/10/13 – Miranda Lambert w/ Dierks Bentley, Randy Houser and Joanna Smith – Sleep Train Amphitheatre – Wheatland, CA

05/11/13 – Blame Sally – Great American Music Hall – San Francisco, CA

05/11/13 – Miranda Lambert w/ Dierks Bentley – Shoreline Amphitheatre – Mountain View, CA

05/11/13 – Sara Watkins – Center for the Arts – Grass Valley, CA

05/12/13 – Jim Lauderdale & Buddy Miller – Great American Music Hall – San Francisco, CA

05/12/13 – Sara Watkins – Freight & Salvage – Berkeley, CA

05/12/13 – Junior Brown – Yoshi’s – San Francisco, CA

05/13/13 – Milk Carton Kids – Great American Music Hall – San Francisco, CA

05/15/13 – Eilen Jewell w/ Melody Walker – Big Room @ Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Chico, CA

05/15/13 – Susie Glaze & the Hilonesome Band – Freight & Salvage – Berkeley, CA

05/16/13 – Eilen Jewell – Freight & Salvage – Berkeley, CA

05/17/13 – Susie Glaze & The Hilonesome Band – Palms Playhouse – Winters, CA

05/18/13 – Antsy McClain & Edgar Cruz w/ Gary Tackett – Palms Playhouse – Winters, CA

05/20/13 – Joe Nichols, Jack Ingram, Joey + Rory, Thomas Rhett, Chris Cagle, Joanna Smith, Greg Bates, Brett Eldredge, Heidi Feek – Golf and Guitars Music Festival at Haggin Oaks – Sacramento, CA

05/21/13 – Brothers Comatose – Big Room @ Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Chico, CA

05/21/13 – Montgomery Gentry, Jerrod Niemann, Maggie Rose, Jason Michael Carroll, Kristen Kelly, Dustin Lynch, Chuck Wicks, Love & Theft, Canaan Smith, Summerlin Road – Golf and Guitars Music Festival at Haggin Oaks – Sacramento, CA

05/22/13 – Greg Bates w/ Kristen Kelly and Drake White – The Rodeo Club – San Jose, CA

05/23-05/27 – Strawberry Music Festival featuring Shovels & Rope, Birds of Chicago, James Hunter, Jelly Bread, John Gorka with Michael Mannring, Laurie Lewis and the Right Hands, Preservation Hall Jazz Band, Buddy Miller and Jim Lauderdale, Sam Bush – Camp Mather, CA

05/24/13 – Gloriana – John Ascuaga’s Nugget – Reno, NV

05/25/13 – Jerrod Niemann – John Ascuaga’s Nugget – Reno, NV

05/26/13 – The Black Lillies – Freight & Salvage – Berkeley, CA

05/28/13 – Birds of Chicago w/ The Black Lillies – Big Room @ Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. – Chico, CA

05/29/13 – David Olney w/ Sergio Webb and Anne McCue – Palms Playhouse – Winters, CA

We say our A&R guy, his name’s Jesus Christ. He brought us together, and he gave us the songs, and the time to spend with each other, and the music drives what we do. ●
- – Now even Jesus is an honorary Annie? Good grief, Angaleena Presley.

I wrote that song a long time ago. When I first moved here, I dated this boy who worked on the railroad, he drove a big Chevy truck with a lift kit on it, and we’d go up in the hills and go muddin’. One night he got his truck stuck and literally it sank down, and we had to get a backhoe to come up there and get it out. That guy, he’s my dad, he’s their dad, he’s our uncles. ●
- – Angaleena Presley on “Loved by a Workin’ Man” from upcoming sophomore album Annie Up. Believe what you want to believe, but I choose to interpret this as NOT meaning that she dated her own father.

Do we need old school country music? Hard to say. But you listen to the processed, bulked up steroidal arena country, then put on “When the Grass Grows Over Me.” Feel the difference and decide which has the most immediacy, the most charisma, the most punch to the stomach. It won’t take but a bar or two. ●
- – Holly Gleason, in a CMT.com article on the passing of George Jones.

MUSICAL HERO
“Joe, Joe, Joe Diffie.”
CD IN YOUR STEREO
“Randy Houser’s How Country Feels.” ●
- – Aaand Tate Stevens has completely lost my interest. That was fast.

The Jason Aldeans, the Brantley Gilberts–they’re bringing that rock element to country music. It broadens the whole thing, which is awesome. So you’ll hear some guitar tones and sounds that are like that ’80s rock–late ’70s, ’80s, the Journeys, the Foreigners, that kind of REO Speedwagon sound. I love that stuff. ●
- – And Tate Stevens has kindly relieved me of any guilt I might have felt about dismissing him on the basis of two Q&A responses without hearing any of the music.

I happen to feel that genres are gone in music. I just think that with the digital age, whether it’s satellite radio, terrestrial radio, Pandora, whatever, there are no more genres. There’s good music. There’s bad music. I think it’s an exciting time in music that you can have all the stereotypes and all the things that are placed on it, whether it’s country music, rap music or rock music. That’s all broken down at a festival like Lollapalooza, Bonnaroo or whatever. It becomes about the music. ●
- – Eric Church.

But most of all, what excites me about Hunter Hayes is the pureness inside that heart, his love for music. It’s really emotional to me because I see God working in him. ●
- – Stevie Wonder on Hunter Hayes. Ergo, if you don’t like Hunter Hayes, you are most likely going to hell.

I’m going to tell people, a lot of artists already do it. I think I’ve been guilty of it in the past, too. We take some of our tickets, we put them on StubHub, overcharge with what the market determines they’re worth … I’m taking 1,000 of them and I’m scalping them. ●
- – Kid Rock on the (widespread?) practice of scalping one’s own tickets for profit.

I’m not trying to be like my dad and sell 70 million records. And I can’t be a legend in the history of country music. When people say, ‘Do you want to follow in their footsteps?’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, I want to be successful and do things my way — like they did.’ ●
- – Holly Williams on making the most of family legacies.

Luke [Bryan] tells Country Weekly that he was “one thousand percent” surprised at the big honor. ●
- – You know, I get the feeling Luke Bryan doesn’t have a great grasp of how percentages work.

It’s hard to imagine a more crushing blow to traditional country music, but there’s no better way to pay respects than by doing your part to make sure the music Jones lived for lives on forever.

It wouldn’t hurt to love ‘em while they’re here, either.