The purpose of this webinar is to give pastors and lay church leaders practical ideas about how they can create a “culture of accountability” to combat the prevalent but hidden sin of pornography.

• How do you help men to be more open about their habitual sins?
• How do you help parents to proactively guard their homes?
• How do you protect those on your staff from Internet temptations?

During this webinar you will hear from church leaders who have witnessed great changes among the men, women, and families in their churches.

You will also be given 5 practical steps you can take to walk your church through a similar process.

Register today! Space is limited. Join us on February 29, 2012, at 3pm.

New research may change all of this. A study conducted by Indiana University evaluated the brain waves of young men with previously limited exposure to violent video games. In the study, 14 men aged 18-28 were asked to play 10 hours of a shooter game over the course of a week followed by a week of avoiding such games. A second group of 14 men were asked to refrain from such games for both weeks. Both groups were given a set of tasks and their brains were scanned at three points—immediately before the gaming week, immediately after the week ended, and after the second week.

The findings? At the end of the first week, parts of the brain associated with cognitive function and emotional control were diminished among the gaming group. (They returned to normal by the end of the second.)

So what does this mean?

First, don’t panic. This new study does not negate older studies which show low to no correlation between violent video games and actual violence among youth.

Second, this study may pave the way for other studies about the potential for learning and development through other games. (If a violent game like Bioshock results in diminished emotional control, for example, it’s possible that a puzzle game like Portal 2 could result in increased problem solving abilities.)

Finally, it serves as a reminder that we ought to be discriminating in the games we choose to play, as well as the ones we allow our kids to play. If nothing else, this serves as a scientific reminder that “everything in moderation” is still a good policy.

For more information about the potential pitfalls of video games, read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3 of our series in Pure Minds Online, “Not Just Child’s Play.”

Imagine drawing back the curtain to your kitchen window and seeing scores of strangers staring back. What if some were even naked, or held up signs that read “take off your shirt”?

As bizarre and creepy as that vision may be, many teens pull back the virtual curtain of their webcams allowing strangers to gawk and deliver sexual and demeaning messages through the window of online video chat. Sometimes these strangers even pose nude. It has law enforcement concerned, and parents need to better understand the world of video chat and set up guidelines for their kids.

Specifically, adults should directly supervise the use of webcams and video chat. Unfortunately, many parents are behind the times, and teens are exposing themselves to adult content and unnecessary risk…

Read the rest of this article about video chat from our e-magazine, Pure Minds Online.

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Two years ago I published a post that has since become one of our top 5 most read posts on this blog. It is also one of my personal favorites. I’m republishing it today to resurrect some conversation around it. Thanks for reading!

In Greek mythology they are called the Sirens, mythical seductresses of seafaring lore. These creatures of great beauty sit in the flowery meadow on small, rocky islands in the Mediterranean, somewhere off the coast of Italy. The Sirens are divine beings with the wings of birds and voices that can enchant any sailor. Ancient sources describe their “siren song”—a beautiful music that compulsively lures sailors toward the island, only to have their ships capsize on the rocks.

This is, perhaps, one of the best analogies I can give to describe the lure of pornography and its addictive nature. We don’t intend to crash the ship of our lives on the rocky shore, but the siren song calls to us. For many men, once pornography sinks its hooks into us, we forever feel the draw of it. It is like a compulsion.

How did ancient seafarers sail by the Sirens without being overcome by their songs? Two ancient myths give us a glimpse.

. . . .

Odysseus: Bind Me to the Mast

Homer’s Odyssey tells of the adventures of Odysseus, one of the champions of the Trojan War. In the Odyssey he is counseled by the goddess Circe to beware of the Sirens. She warns him, “[The Sirens] sit in a green field and warble him to death with the sweetness of their song. There is a great heap of dead men’s bones lying all around, with the flesh still rotting off them.” At her insistence Odysseus plugs the ears of his fellow sailors with wax. And because he wants the pleasure of hearing the Sirens, he commands his men to bind him half-way up mast of the ship, standing upright. He tells them further, “If I beg and pray you to set me free, then bind me more tightly still.”

As Odysseus’ ship sails within an earshot of the islands, suddenly the wind falls into a dead calm. The Sirens see Odysseus coming and begin with their singing. “Come here,” they sing, “and listen to our two voices. No one ever sailed past us without staying to hear the enchanting sweetness of our song.” They promise Odysseus divine foreknowledge of all that the gods and men will ever do. Odysseus is overcome by the song and demands that he be set free. His men bind him with stronger ropes until they are out of the Sirens’ range.

. . . .

Orpheus: A More Beautiful Song

Apollonius of Rhodes also writes about the Sirens in Argonautica, his tale of Jason and the Argonauts’ voyage. Jason is warned about the Sirens from the centaur Chiron, and sure enough the sailors encounter them. As a fresh breeze wafts the ship they see the island. The Sirens watchful eye spots Jason’s ship and they send forth from their lips “a lily-like voice.” The sailors are overcome with desire and are ready to cast their ropes from the boat to the shore.

Suddenly one of the heroes, Orpheus, a man legendary for his gift of song, pulls out his stringed lyre and “rung forth the hasty snatch of a rippling melody so that their ears might be filled with the sound of his twanging; and the lyre overcame the maidens’ voice.”

. . . .

Odysseus vs. Orpheus

Why all this talk of mythical creatures and musicians? Why dip into these ancient tales? I do this because they have a way of capturing the imagination. G.K. Chesterton said fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

What can overcome the siren song of pornography? On one hand we might be more like Odysseus. We want to enjoy the temptation. We like the pull, yet we know the danger of the rocky cliffs. So we place obstacles in our path, ways to keep us from jumping overboard. We install filters on our computers. We put personal boundaries in place. These boundaries save us from making poor choices, but they are nothing more than external measures that keep us from falling over the edge.

Then there are men like Jason who are wise to bring Orpheus along. They know the only thing that breaks the spell of sin is an even greater spell. They don’t look for stronger ropes. They bring along a more enchanting song.

I believe the Bible has both Odysseus- and Orpheus-mentalities, but more of the latter. In one sense Odysseus is commendable. He knows the danger of the siren song, so he makes diligent precautions to avoid making a deadly decision. We all need men like Odysseus’ shipmates, men who are willing to see through our mental fog caused by temptation, men who bind us fast and keep us from sinful choices, men who are willing to sit up with us at the midnight hour if we feel the draw of lust.

But the Bible promises God will not only change our outward behavior, but He will change our desires. We are promised that though we are not now delivered from the presence of our fleshly desires, we can be delivered from their power. How? Not just by keeping temptation at bay (which is commendable), but by keeping in step with the cravings, the desires, of God’s Spirit (Galatians 5:16).

CS Lewis writes,

The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire…Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

Do you think I am trying to weave a spell? Perhaps I am; but remember your fairy tales. Spells are used for breaking enchantments as well as for inducing them. And you and I have need of the strongest spell that can be found to wake us from the evil enchantment of worldliness…”

Are you more like Odysseus or Orpheus? Both avoided shipwreck, but Odysseus did so kicking and screaming. He desired a taste of the siren song because he didn’t have an Orpheus on board.

What are your traveling companions like?

1. Some of us have none. We sail alone and so we crash into the rocky crags time and time again. We have no one to help us in the midst of temptation. We have no true friends who are willing to help us fight sin.
2. Some of us are aboard Odysseus’ ship. We have faithful companions who are willing to help put up barriers in our life to keep us from the “really bad stuff.” We have friends we can call when the temptation is the greatest.
3. Then some of us, perhaps very few of us, have traveling companions like Orpheus, friends who are able to remind us of greater pleasures, a more enchanting song. They are able to point us to Christ as our supreme pleasure. They know how to play the strings of our heart in such a way that we become godward again. They remind us of God’s promises which produce an anticipation of greater delight. They help us to see sin as the enemy of real pleasure, not the source of it, and then help us draw our thoughts to God’s “river of delights” (Psalm 36:8).

. . . .

God, help us to become more like Orpheus. Help us taste the honey-sweetness of your Word (Psalm 119:103). Make your decrees the theme of our song wherever we sojourn (Psalm 119:54). Open the eyes of our heart that we might see wonderful truths in your Word (Psalm 119:18). Morning by morning awaken us to hear your voice, then give us a tongue able to enchant weary sinners with your Greater Beauty (Isaiah 50:4).

I’m gonna sing this song
To let you know that you’re not alone
And if you’re like me you need hope, coffee, and melody
So sit back down, and let the world keep spinnin’ round
Yesterday’s gone and today is waiting on you to show your face.
- Robbie Seay Band, “New Day”

When I first listened to the words of this song, they were like water rushing in to my parched, tired spirit. I felt as if the words were meant for me: I needed to know I wasn’t alone. I needed someone to give me hope for my troubled relationship. I needed someone to tell me all the yesterdays of my marriage were behind me and there was hope for today.

But one day my husband’s infidelity—online and offline—brought me to a breaking point. I finally made a decision to travel a path I never thought I would walk down: I took my sons and left my husband and our home.

Read the rest of Nicole’s story in our new free e-book, Hope After Porn: 4 women share their stories of heartbreak…and how their marriages were saved.

Dan is an internationally recognized Internet and computer security expert. Currently, he serves as the CSO for the state of Michigan.

This video was brought to you by the makers of Willful Entrapment, an expressive film about the insidious nature of pornography. Comment on this video and others like it in a growing body of documentary footage called Scratching the Surface.

Several years ago I heard a wonderful sermon preached by Mark Driscoll about the subject of idolatry. In the message he explains how idolatry lies at the bottom of our sinful behaviors. (The audio sermon comes from Jubilee Church in London. It was preached on July 13, 2008. You can hear the whole sermon on their website.)

Mark Driscoll on Idolatry

Martin Luther says this on the Ten Commandments, that the first of the Ten Commandments are these: there’s only one God, and you worship Him alone. He goes on to say that the rest of the commandments are implications about the first two commandments. If God is your only God—Jesus—and you worship Him alone, guess what? You won’t lie. See, we lie to avoid consequence or to make ourselves look better, but if we worship God and not our image, we won’t lie. You won’t covet if you worship God alone. You won’t find your identity in the car you drive, the home you own, the clothes you wear, the income you make, the intellect you have, the achievements, accomplishments, and possessions that you obtain. You won’t commit adultery if you worship God alone. You see, the rest of the Ten Commandments are obeyed if you obey the first two. Jesus is God—not sex, not fame, not money, not power, not glory, not intellect, not IQ, not achievement, not home-ownership, not pleasure and passion—Jesus…

Let me give you a functional definition of worship: someone or something is in the position of glory. That’s preeminence and power. That’s significance. This is your greatest treasure, your deepest longing, your first love. This is the person or thing that is—above all else—this is in the position of glory. And then what we do is we worship by making sacrifices: time, energy, money, heart, focus, attention goes to the thing that is our little god and we worship it…

Are you ready for some painful examples? Who or what would you be most likely to worship instead of Jesus? Your spouse? Your health? Your comfort? Your children? Your grandchildren?… They’re good gifts from God, not given to be worshipped instead of God. That’s why people become disappointed when their spouse doesn’t meet all their needs. They’ve got their spouse in the position of Jesus expecting from them only what Jesus can give: comfort, security, peace, and sinless relational harmony. They become disappointed with their children because their children do not give them the significance and the success and the satisfaction that they yearn for. This is why people, when they get sick, they curse God and become very angry, because their health is what they truly worship…

I’ll give you a way this works. First of all we have a picture of “heaven.” Now, it’s not the Bible’s view of heaven: a great city, forever together, with the nations, and Jesus. And we have a picture of “hell”: it’s not the real hell in the Bible where you’re suffering because of your sins forever. And then we want to be saved from our proverbial “hell” into our proverbial “heaven,” so we come up with what I’ll call a “functional savior,” and then we worship it.

So if you’re single, and that’s your hell, and marriage is your heaven, who’s your functional savior? Fiancé. If you don’t have children, and that’s your hell, and having children would be your heaven, who’s your functional savior? Children. If you’re sick, and that’s your functional hell, and health is your functional heaven, then healing is your functional savior.

And what we will do then is we will even use the name of Jesus to try and get Jesus to give us our real god. “Jesus, I will worship you if you give me a spouse.” “Jesus, I will worship you if you give me a child.” “Jesus, I will worship you if you heal me.” “Jesus, I will worship you if you pay my bills.” What we’re saying is, “Jesus, give me my real god.” Just so you know, Jesus doesn’t like to do that—in the same way husbands don’t like to go out and get boyfriends for their wife. Jesus is married to the church, and he does not like it when we ask him to go get other people to date…

Let me ask some questions:

What are you most afraid of? What are you most afraid of? “I don’t want to get sick?” “I don’t want to be alone?” “I don’t want my spouse to die?” “I don’t want to be at the funeral of my child?” “I don’t want to lose my job?” “I don’t want to lose my last friend?” What are you most afraid of? Behind that may be your idol.

Number two: What do you long for most passionately? What gets you up in the morning? Why do you go to work? Why do you pray? Why do you care? Why do you strive? Why do you try?

Where do you run for comfort? Things go bad, you’re stressed…do you run to alcohol? Do you run to food? Do you run to pornography? Do you run to vice? Do you get angry? Do you curse? Do you just go to bed and pull the covers over your head and pretend that it’s all going away?

What do you complain about most? Probably indicates something that you’re very frustrated with, and if you’re frustrated with it, it’s because you value it so much, and it’s not being or doing what you want or need, perceptibly, for it to be or do.

What angers you the most? What just makes you furious? Is it when Jesus is not taught properly? Does it have anything to do with Jesus or is it all about you? All of your anger is about you. It’s not about the people who are suffering or the name of Jesus being dishonored. What angers you?

What makes you happiest? What are the best memories in your life? “Oh, if I could just do that again.”

How do you explain yourself to other people? “Hi, my name is so-in-so. [Fill in the blank].” “I’m married.” “I have kids.” “I am a lawyer…” How we explain ourselves may indicate our identity. See, idolatry is building your life on anyone or anything other than Jesus…

What has caused you to be angry at God? “God, how dare you let me lose my job!” “How dare you let my spouse die!” “How dare you let me not have children!” “How dare you let my children wander away from you!” “How dare you let those people say those things about me!” What you’re saying is, “God, how dare you take my idol.”

What do I want to have more than anything else? That’s a good question to ask yourself—the proverbial genie-in-a-bottle question. If I came up and said, “One wish: anything you want.” Is it, “Love Jesus”? You go, “Well, no.” Okay, then, that’s the wrong answer…

What do you make the biggest sacrifices for? Time, energy, money, effort, long hours, lots of money, devotion. What’s on your mind when you can’t sleep? What are you thinking about? Is it Jesus?

Whose approval are you seeking? Is it Jesus?

And what do you treasure the most? What is the one person or thing that if taken from you—that would ruin everything? Is it Jesus?

We’ve all seen the scary headlines. Stories like “Woman killed in text messaging accident” grab our attention. In the cyber security business, we call these shocking news stories “FUD”—they affect people by spreading “Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt.” Texting and driving is now illegal in 35 states and the District of Columbia. It’s probably just a matter of time until all states pass laws on the use of technology while driving.

But despite the risks, many still can’t overcome the temptation to surf the Internet or text while behind the wheel. Americans love to multitask with technology, and scary stories only work on our consciences for so long before we are drawn to other online attractions.

Smartphones in Class – Or Not?

Meanwhile, many schools ban smartphones for fear of students cheating on tests. Administrators claim that leaving technology off is best to remove student temptations (and/or teacher distractions). The “Education Doctor Blog,” from Dr. Meryl Ain, wrote this:

Newsday reports that an Amityville social studies teacher recently asked his 11^th graders to use their personal cell phones to text a response to a poll about a presidential speech they had just watched in the classroom. According to the article, this is part of a growing local and national trend.

Many other school districts, however, still bar students from bringing their cell phones and smart phones to school—and for good reason. They have been viewed as a distraction, even a dangerous one. Do we really want students checking their e-mail and texting during class? Do we want them using it to make dates during class, surf their favorite sites on the Web, cheat, or even engage in drug dealing? As much as schools will try to restrict its use in school, some students won’t be able to control themselves.

Office Tech Etiquette

This issue is not just for the younger generation. Many of the same questions come up in the business world around the globe. The BBC asked, “What is the etiquette of mobile phones in meetings?” Here’s an excerpt:

One of David Cameron’s first decrees as PM has been to ban his cabinet ministers from using mobile phones and Blackberrys in meetings. What if your workplace introduced a similar rule?

It’s a divisive move from a united government, to ban Blackberrys and mobiles from meetings. Up and down the land, people will look at the Prime Minister’s example and wonder what might happen if similar rules were introduced in their offices and workplaces.

On the one hand will be the Digi-cons. Quite right, Mr. Cameron, they will say. You cannot have meetings—let alone meetings of people charged with the security and well-being of the nation—interrupted by texting and tweeting, e-mailing and Googling, thumbs cantering across sleek devices, half a dozen terse and fragmentary SMS conversations going on at once.

You need focus. Discipline. Concentrated attention.

What About iPads in Church?

Dr. Mike Wittmer, author of three books and professor of systematic and historical theology at Grand Rapids Theological Seminary, recently wrote two very interesting blogs on the topics of bringing iPads and smartphones to church to read Scripture (rather than your traditional “hardcopy” Bible). He brings up some powerful points and the responses and his posts were thought-provoking and definitely worth reading.

Dr. Wittmer’s two excellent blogs on this topic are called iBible & iBibles Again. Here’s an excerpt from the first one:

…I am not suggesting that there is no place for reading the Bible off a computer or phone screen. I have typed many Scripture passages onto this blog, which I assume were read from a screen. But I do think there is a danger in making our cell phone or Kindle the main way we read the Bible. There are children today who will grow up without ever owning a tangible, bound copy of the Word of God. The only Bible they will ever know will exist in cyberspace, fighting for a place among their other apps. Will these children have a difficult time believing that they are reading the eternal, unchanging Word of God? Will the digital age—and the many useful downloadable Bibles that it produces—inadvertently undermine our understanding of the authority of Scripture?

My response to Dr. Wittmer can be seen after his blog, but I essentially think that the “reading the Bible on an iPad at church” trend will grow as eBooks grow. I also ask this question: “Should a church offer free WiFi for attendees to use more mobile devices for those who don’t have 3G or 4G (cell service)? I suspect this is coming – and will be commonplace in 5-7 years.” I wrote several years ago that we are heading for the virtual “Dick Tracy Watch” with full motion video and any information available on any device at anytime from anywhere. This process is happening faster than I thought.

Any Advice for Faithful Surfing in Cyberspace?

After reading these various viewpoints, perhaps you’re confused. If I think free Wifi and an endless number of opportunities to use mobile devices is here to stay, what advice can I offer?

1) Christians have freedom. “But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.” (Gal. 5:18) Freedom is not the right to do as one pleases, but the power and capacity both to will and to do as one ought. True freedom is never freedom from responsibility, but responsibility not only for choice, but right choices. Freedom is an inner contentment with who we are in Christ and with what we have. God’s Word (the Bible) should guide us.

2) Take a step back and build a plan. A well-informed conscience will guide us, and different people will have different convictions. Nevertheless, recognizing that lines (or hedges) are needed is important. These lines can be determined by talking to Christian friends, our spouse, or other family members that we trust. Think of this like a New Year’s resolution for technology.

3) Be accountable. Once you’ve created a technology use plan, stick to it!  Make adjustments as needed, but be careful not to change your approach too often on the fly. Aim to build good tech habits that are repeatable.

A final thought: I have found that our prayer life is key to discerning when to disconnect and how to use my time overall. We need to remember that our spiritual battles extend into cyberspace. You may even want to consider a “technology fast” for a day or Lent without using technology in the evenings. While this can be tough to do, one benefit is that you will see if your iPad is an idol of the heart.

What are your thoughts on disconnecting?

It couldn’t have happened at a worse time.

After the trauma of preterm labor, a month of bed-rest, and a three-day long delivery, I was a new mom who had to constantly hold, nurse, or pump milk for our premature daughter. The around-the-clock care didn’t ease up after the first couple of weeks like they said it would. I was so exhausted that I felt delirious. You might know the feeling.

To top it all off, I could tell our marriage was strained and I felt compelled to check my husband’s computer. I knew that in the past, when I had been sick, weak, or occupied with something else, Ryan would struggle more intensely with pornography. We had been going around and around with this problem for the full three years of our young marriage. No amount of disappointment, hurt, anger, conviction, or counseling had solved the problem. The solutions we had tried only lasted until the temptation crept up again. I ignored the internal warning several times. I felt too drained to admit that Ryan might be looking at pornography while I was caring for the baby or enjoying any moments of sleep that came my way. I thought, I can’t take care of another person’s problems; he’s supposed to be strong for me.

And yet the prompting continued. Check your husband’s computer.

When I finally scanned the history on Ryan’s computer, I found some images that he had recently viewed. Even though I wasn’t surprised, I did feel freshly hurt and betrayed. I felt the familiar rush of jealousy, of wanting to look intently at every two-dimensional woman to discover what she had that I didn’t have, what she did that I didn’t do, or what she was that I couldn’t be. I clenched my jaw and set my heart in disgust towards my husband: my heart was filled with bitterness toward this man who wasted our time, energy, and resources on lust while I worked so hard to take care of our family…

Read the rest of Laura’s story in our new free e-book, Hope After Porn: 4 women share their stories of heartbreak…and how their marriages were saved.

Did you know…

• More than 1 in 8 web searches are for erotic content.
• 79% of youth’s unwanted exposures to Internet porn take place in the home.
• Nearly 1 in 5 teens who receive a “sext” share it with someone else.
• 20% of teens say their peers are “mostly unkind” to each other on social networks.
• 76% of online predators are 26 or older.
• 40% of teens have seen pictures on social networks of their peers getting drunk, passed out, or using drugs, and half of these first saw these pictures when they were 13 or younger.

Free Internet Safety Webinar For Parents and Teachers

To help raise awareness about Internet safety issues, Covenant Eyes sponsors a special online seminar: 5 Internet Dangers Facing You and Your Family Right Now. The next webinar is tomorrow, February 7, 2012, at 9:00pm EST. Register for this special presentation now. Space is limited.