Original photo by nickgraywfu

(intro)
Oh My Lord !
Rebecca behold that woman’s derriere!
Its quite disproportionate to her frame ! (scoff)
She bears resemblance to a female companion of one of those hoodlums that use verbal urban lyrical poetry.
Who can conceive the perceptions of those hoodlums that use verbal urban lyrical poetry at any rate. (scoff)
They only converse with that woman due to the fact that she portrays herself as a loose lady who accepts money for deviant sexual acts
Do you understand my meaning ?
I am just stating that her back side is severely immense
I am not able to understand how it is that globular !
It is overtaking an abundant amount of space.
I am repulsed ! Survey it !
That lady is clearly of African decent !

(Sir Mix-a-Lot)
I desire enormous keisters and I am not able to speak falsehoods
All you other gentleman can not disagree
That when a young lady promenades into the room with microscopic mid section and a rather large spherical derriere
You become sexually aroused, and want to commit deviant oral sex acts upon it as you are well aware that her buttocks is extremely engorged
Overflowing the denim trousers that she is currently wearing
I am captivated and I can not pry my eyes in another direction
I profess to you woman that I desire to be your gentleman caller and take candid sexual pictures of you
My closest and dearest male friends try to forewarn me about this woman, though those enormous hindquarters you have woman, makes me very sexually stimulated
Oh the smooth skin on your buttocks
You professed your wish to take a lovely cruise in my Mercedes Benz ?
Appropriately take advantage of me, take advantage of me !
Because madam you are not the typical immorally loose woman I frequent
I have gazed upon them gyrating, disregard any thought of being romantic
She is secreting through her pours leaving her saturated in moisture, She has many attractive features not unlike a turbo charged corvette
I am irritated with magazine publications, falsely stating that woman with procumbent back sides are the standard now
Ask any male of African decent what he prefers
He will state that she must have a gargantuan gluteus maximus

Hence I call upon you gentleman ! (aye) gentlemen ! (aye)
Does the woman you reside with have a gigantic keister ?
Tell that woman to gyrate it ! (gyrate it), Gyrate it ! (gyrate it)
Wobble that wonderfully robust back side !
That lady has a massive buttocks !

(Woman has a face like she is from Los Angeles but the hindquarters of a woman from Oakland)
That lady has a massive buttocks !

(Sir Mix-a-Lot)
I prefer my ladies buttock to be spherical and colossal
and when I am preforming
I am unable to contain my lust and attraction which makes me resemble a beast
Now here is the scandalous thought I am entertaining
I want to abduct you and get you to my domicile
and make grunting sounds, and then double the grunting noises
I am not speaking about the popular publication of playboy
As fake body parts make of silicone are not wanted, silicone is best used in playthings
I demand that a woman’s back sides be unmistakably fleshy and succulent
So attain the most mouthwatering buttocks
Mix-a-Lot is in trouble
Craving to have sexual relations with that woman’s very large derriere
As I am watching rock and roll videos on my television
I see many woman with their knees angled together promanading like street walkers
You can keep your street walking woman
I’ll keep my woman with obesity
I would like to have a chat with my obese fellow African woman, I want to be your gentleman caller
I will not curse at you or physically assault you
I do however have to tell you my intention is to have sexual relations with you
Until the night breaks way to dawn
This woman has what everyone wants
Many simple men will find this song distasteful
This is because they are not real men, they only had sexual relations with these types of woman then disappear on them
As where I would rather have sexual relations many times with these types of woman
This is mainly due to the fact that I have a very long male member and I am very physically fit
I am here to create sexual friction
So ladies! (aye) ladies! (aye)
If you would like to take a lovely cruise in my Mercedes Benz (aye!)
Then please be so kind as to turn with your backside facing me, and make your buttocks stick out towards me !
Even men with pale skin who are of European decent must agree!
That lady has a massive buttocks !

------

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Original photo by Eva Rinaldi

I do not entertain men that are suffering from premature ejaculation
No, I do not entertain men that are suffering from premature ejaculation
Oh, take my hand and put it on my vagina instead because I can do a much better job of bringing myself to orgasm, do you understand?
As I’ve already told you, I do not entertain men that are suffering from premature ejaculation

Sir, I am going to attempt to trigger feelings of love and sexual desire by removing my clothes and gyrating in front of you
I’ll give you a blow job if that doesn’t work, and I shall do all of this this evening
Can you read minds? No, ok send me your sexual fantasies via sms
I’d suggest you take some Viagra as I plan for the two of us to have sex for an entire night, which is a very long time
Count those hours, there at least 12 of them

Have sex with me for a reasonable amount of time, show me how big your penis is
I do not want you to ejaculate prematurely x3

So returning to my plans for this evening, I intend to spend some of our lovemaking on top
You had better bring several condoms with you and remember not to forget the Viagra, yes, you heard correctly
I haven’t had sex in a few years despite talking myself up as some 3-man-a-day utter whore just then
And may I remind you that I don’t entertain men that ejaculate prematurely, and that’s not a lie
So don’t be doing that now

(Enter Ludacris)
*some noises of a sexual nature*
It’s time to wind your clock back as far as you can but you won’t get much further than 12 hours or 24 hours depending on the type of clock you own
I am suffering from psychotic delusions, I think I have the power to block out the sun and I sometimes imagine I am a handyman, but by handyman i mean a gigolo
Wash all that semen and woman juices away from your previous encounters, and I warn you I do check to make sure we are ready to start having sex
Hey all you men that ejaculate prematurely, you are all missing out and are jealous
Even though I’m a delusional sort that imagines my face is on milk cartons but without an offer of a financial reward written underneath
I have scant regard for all of you, who almost manage to have sex for a long time but ejaculate prematurely
Hard heads make bums soft…somehow but an erect penis that stays erect guarantees sex for the length of time it remains erect
I like to jump in my ejaculate after the event and there’s so much of it it splashes everywhere
When I am about to ejaculate I request that you face my penis so it goes all over your face
I think that my sperm can actually penetrate your skull and go into your brain, as I am slightly mental so you better make sure your head is all tightly locked
I have now finished giving advice, tips, and thongs
My penis is so big and I’m such an animal that I can make you see stripes by possibly knocking you out with it and giving you mild concussion
And after all that love making women eventually fall asleep and dream as my ejaculate begins to leak a little from their vaginas
And that’s because I can have sex for a very very long time
Ludacris can also have sex in a variety of positions and also perform balancing acts during sex

*Missy returns*
I do not entertain men that are suffering from premature ejaculation
No, I do not entertain men that are suffering from premature ejaculation

Have sex with me for a reasonable amount of time, show me how big your penis is
I do not want you to ejaculate prematurely x3

------

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Original photo by Trace Meek

[Refrain: Phonte]
Please allow me to enter your domicile
Instruct us, and educate us in a religious fashion
About our possible spiritual transgressions
And allow crimes against yourself to go unchallenged
And let us unite as people who all share
In an African-American pigmentation
And slap my hand in an urban gesture of unity
With all five of your fingers on my black hand
Oh yes, with all five of your fingers on my black hand

[Verse 1: Styles P]
Slap my hand in an urban gesture of unity
With all five of your fingers on my black hand
And I will let you know how I view the world
From my perspective as an African-American male
And we see ourselves as driving expensive automobiles
With gorgeous women inside of them
But in reality we are the casualties of urban violence
We are the homicides, and our women are addicted
And we’re rooting for the villains on television
And we’re on welfare, because of our skin color
We’re poor, and we stay that way
And we carry drugs around the neighborhood to sell them
And you need to see the overview and not just the details
And in the disadvantaged urban neighborhoods
We feel like animals subjected to experiments
And we hoped that voting for Obama would change things
That he wouldn’t put up with such a reality
And that was also my hope for him
And I remember the odors of imprisonment
I remember the unpleasant ways that law enforcement
Tends to treat people such as myself
And I try to sink into an alternate reality
When I smoke illegal substances
So please slap my hand in an urban gesture of unity
With all five of your fingers on my black hand
And now I would like Pharoahe Monch to share his thoughts on the subject

[Refrain]
And I am like a native American, I make it rain money
But I don’t share it with women who work in strip clubs
Because it might deepen their sense of degradation
And I would like to make things better instead of worse
I learned as I was raised to keep things simple
And so I shall explain it to you in easy terms
As in the beginning levels of a video game
And the kids of today will murder for jewelry
And leave their victims where they were shot in their fancy cars
And then blithely smoke illicit cigarettes and eat breakfast
And then they wonder why their life is so hard
And they glorify violence
They should look to the African-Americans
Who first won Oscars and Grammys
Instead of these posers, who are spiritually inferior
And who claim to present urban musical poetry
But who really only make pop music
And people say I am noble because
I remember the past enslavement of the people
And I see how shallow our current life has become
In our rough neighborhoods
We should respect the single mothers
Whose children die in our urban warfare
So slap my hand in an urban gesture of unity
With all five of your fingers on my black hand
Let’s all dance together like they did on the Soul Train program
And those would be my suggestions

[Refrain]

------

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Original photo by Generationbass.com

[Intro]
Oh my, I worship myself
And I refer to myself by my screen name
And I offer myself women for fornication
From myself
And I say to myself that
I have the best and coolest stuff
The best by a trillion times
By golly
Oh my my my, I worship myself

[Hook]
And I jumped in my convertible
And yell out “Swag”
And I call myself “Based God”
And the ladies adore it when I take off my shirt
And I have four diamond rings
And two enormous chains
And I enjoy wanton soup
And jingling my money noisily
And women love to pleasure me orally
And they love how I react to their ministrations
But when I was done with one woman
I used my AK-47 on her
And now she is no longer recognizable
And so I called my main girlfriend
And she stayed to orally pleasure me
Even though she did not feel good about it
But my body is a drug to her
And so is my money
She is addicted
And I love to make love
To curvy girls
And I tell her that I am not doing this to be popular
But because I almost went to jail
And she doesn’t let me go “down there”
So I put my manhood in her mouth
And later I ask her what her name is
I adore myself
And refer to myself by my screen name

[Hook]

[Verse 2]
And losers spend too much time
Reading comments on the internet
And they envy me because women want me more
And I disregard your opinions
Because you haven’t committed felonies
I myself have done 10 armed robberies
And I have done breaking and entering
And I’ve driven stolen cars
And you only bought yours
And I can have sexual relations
With 36 women at one time
And women give me oral pleasure
Because I look like JK Rowling
(A white woman who wrote Harry Potter)
And I like to have sex with smart women
Like the characters in Harry Potter
And I have gorgeous jewelry
And am an incredibly handsome man
And I am going to Georgia
To have sexual relations with a large woman there
Yes, we will really engage in it,
She is very lovely
And I will stay in the house
And have relations with my main woman
Then I will abandon her in the forest
And I have lots and lots of money
And I refer to myself by my screen name

[Hook]

[Verse 3]
And I am so attractive I will run for mayor
And I date women of all skin colors
And ethnicities
And sometimes I engage in ménage a trios
And I can run like a football star
And they offer me intercourse because
I look like a famous boxer
But you could compare me to rich Caucasians
Or to charming African-American lawyer
Johnny Cochran
I am a smooth talker
And I am absent like my father
And a woman offered to pleasure me orally
Because I took her to the opera
Another offered even more
Because I wear fancy timepieces
I am very fancy and I have very dark skin
And they pleasure me orally
Because I laugh when they are shopping
And I don’t care at all about them
And the record label deserted me
And I don’t like other urban musical poets
Who are not true to themselves
And a woman pleasures me orally
Because it’s good for her health
And I murdered a woman with my jewelry
And I refer to myself by my screen name
And I’m kind of crazy, and once again
I refer to myself by my screen name

------

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Original photo by Scott Kinmartin

[1st verse: Royce Da 5’9”]
I’ve got the first verse
And I’m working until I retire to an island
My life is fast and goes by without monitoring
Like a car on the autobahn would, on autopilot
Before I die, I will impress you with my poetry
I will impress you, and
My stage persona is nicer than the real me
I am a veritable ne’er do well
You have been warned
Do not conform
To indicate that you intend to comply
Please assault a member of the police force
Strip him down to his unmentionables
And hang him from the horn of a unicorn
By his delicate manly private parts
And don’t be dumb, and do not be homosexual
Flaunting your lifestyle
Do not be so flaming
as to be able to light cigarettes
With the flames coming from your posterior
And I’ve made up with people
Over some tiffs we had
So now I’m wealthy again
My rhymes are as tight as the nether regions
Of an overweight female homosexual
And I may not be as wealthy
As some of the other fellows
But I rhyme in a classic style not much appreciated
That was in vogue during the 1980s
And my blood is full of intoxicating materials
In the 1990s my life was like being
In a harsh military atmosphere
Yours was like being in the “Brady Bunch” sitcom
And you get high every day like a kite

[2nd verse: Eminem]
Look at me in my fancy luxury car
It’s a Mercedes!
And I’m blasting “Ice Ice Baby”
And I’ll go to a paradise when I die
Like is crazy and I like to roll dice
So I live it up until I’m dead like Patrick Swayze
And since I want to live life to the fullest
I’m thinking about a nice lady
Don’t stop me now before I get on a roll
(I mention Danish, that’s a roll, get it?)
And I’m going to mention the lovely lady
Because she’s famous
And I hope it doesn’t sound to forward or vulgar
But, Nicki Minaj, I want to do unmentionable things
To your naughty bits with my naughty bits
And intellectual simpletons,
You think I am a genius
But really I should be incarcerated
In a mental institution
I grew up in a metal portable home parked in a lot
In a bad neighborhood,
And was unstable even then
I haven’t lost my edge, my mind is razor-sharp
I am back to that same level of insanity
And you should capitalize “back”
For linguistic emphasis
And please note my impressive use of wordplay
And verbal elements,
I am going to excel with my diction
And stay out of the way of my rapid-fire rhymes
Or you’ll get hurt,
You need to know how serious I am
So listen up! I’m putting you on notification

[Hook: Sly]
I don’t how long I will occupy this Mortal Plain
I’m rapidly approaching all kinds of death
But I’ve got to push on
And see these things through
And who knows where chance will take me
I’m enjoying the journey
I’m going to roll onwards until I drop
Ride life’s ups and downs until I die
I’m living life in the fast lane (Pedal to the metal)
I’m living life in the fast lane (Pedal to the metal)

[3rd Verse: Royce Da 5’9”]
My whole goal is to relax and stop writing poetry
While my words run circles around everyone else
And I’m fighting alcohol addiction
And the rum attacks my internal organs
But creativity and poetry get me intoxicated
On endorphins
And I sold my soul to the Devil for my skills
And I would like noted euthanasia activist Jack Kevorkian
To know that he’s welcome
To dig up a deceased person’s human remains
And I’m tired of all of all the petty arguments between people in this job
But they cannot defeat me, my work is better
I knock them down with my superior writing and performance skills
If that doesn’t work,
A semi-automatic weapon will do the trick

[4th verse: Eminem]
Now I named myself after M&M candies,
But now I just spell the word out
And the business has been rough on me,
And refined my new persona
Woman, please assume a position
For sexual intercourse
And now people go crazy when they see me,
But I still like women
From disadvantaged socioeconomic backgrounds like my very own
And I’ll stutter for rhythmic effect,
And I can’t even visit Wal-Mart
Without hoards of adoring fans
And I came to the club tonight with my man, Royce, here
And we are impressing the heck out of everyone with our talent
Which I’ll compare to a force
which could drown women
And Woman,
I am entranced by watching you dance,
Licking your lips
It’s getting me all worked up,
And you need to give me oral sex
Or I’m going to have to force you into it
And if the establishment doesn’t put us at the top of our profession
We will force our way in there, too

[5th verse: Royce]
And then we’ll be incarcerated because we had to kill everyone in our way
Which is a violent metaphor I am using to say we forced our way to the top
And I’ve had a lot of experience as a poet,
But I wasn’t always noticed
I sometimes even had to pleasure myself
For lack of female companionship
And I’m on fire just like Michael Jackson
During that unfortunate incident
And I’m so much better than you
That I will compare my superiority
To a form of murder,
And I am going to run you over with a tractor
That’s how good my work really and truly is,
And I’m rhyming now

[6th verse: Eminem]
Woman, better get down
And assume a sexual position
Because I am the Caucasian life of the party
And so we need to have sexual relations
And tell your boyfriend
you’re very lucky to be with a rich guy like me
And no matter what you tell him,
You won’t be exaggerating
I’m that good

[Hook]

------

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Original photo by Jason Perrse

[Hook: Frank Ocean]
And I shall sing the praises
Of Martin Luther King, Jr.
And his wife Coretta Scott King
And of Malcolm X
And his wife Betty Shabazz
And of Mary and Joseph
And the baby Jesus
Who all made it in America
Sweet baby Jesus
Sweet baby Jesus

[Verse 1: Kanye West]
And I tried to convince my mother
That I was on the verge of musical success
And she told me I needed to pursue education
But that she would let me try to make it work
During the summer break in classes
And then she met the mother of a producer
Who was nicknamed No I.D.
And she secured his phone number
Now she drives a HumVee
And everyone strives to get a good beat
And I gave some of mine away
But I kept some of the best
For my very own albums
And I’m looking at swatches
Trying to create a fabulous fashion line
And I started a blog
Just to get a few people to read it
And so many people read it
That it overwhelmed the internet
And they mocked me on South Park
Because I love fashion
But now all of the musicians design clothes
And we all wear fine fashion
And we ignore what they say about us
We don’t think about clothes just for the runway
We really wear these odd outfits

[Hook]

[Verse 2: Jay Z]
And I pledge allegiance to my grandmother
Due to her scrumptious banana pudding
Which was our taste of Americana
And just as apple pie is a constant to some
So was cocaine adulterated with baking soda
In our household
The mixture was a staple that helped us
To make ends meet
And that’s what we made in the kitchen
While Grandma got her sleep
And this is the foundation
Of my economic security
I’m trying to lead a nation
And I want to leave a legacy for my son
Or for my daughter
And so now I am cooking up new things
And I’m trying to realign the scales of justice
And I’m trying to balance the factors in my life
And all of a sudden my grandmother
Would come into the kitchen
And ask about the smell
And I’d tell her it was just water boiling
Quite disreputable, it’s true
But I was raised in trying economic circumstances
And I gained liberty by preparing drugs for sale
And hopefully God understands and forgives
And I pledge allegiance
To all who struggle to survive
This is our Star Spangled Banner

[Hook]

------

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Original photo by Sup3r_Fudg3

[Sample]
A huge room full of fabulous women
Whom I shall compare to naughty female dogs

[Hook]
And they are wearing designer stuff
Gucci and more Gucci
Louis Vuitton and more Louis Vuitton
Fendi and more Fendi
And Prada
Your very average woman
Wears all that stuff
So I don’t even bother

[Verse 1]
Gucci and more Gucci
Louis Vuitton and more Louis Vuitton
Fendi and more Fendi
And Prada
Your very average woman
Wears all that stuff
So I don’t even bother
And I swear to my partner
And I swear to my family
And I am asking Oakland
To swear to me as their queen
And you can kiss the ring
But you may never touch the crown
And I smoke a million
Little cigars altered to be full of drugs
And I shall never stop being intoxicated
And nasty woman, you are not Barbie
I see that you work at Arby’s
And I’d like the number two combo
Roast beef sandwich
Hurry up, I am starving
And I am a very nifty woman
You could say magical
And I sell drugs on your college campus
And carry baggies full of Adderal
Call me if you need to be intoxicated
Let me know if you need some pills
And those girls intoxicated on pills
Who like to perform orally
They never go outside of their pen
And I am driving around in my car
Using stolen license plates
And selling drugs to addicts
By the Golden Gates bridge
And I’m even more cool than your fridge or freezer
And when I am in the mood for lesbian behavior
I take your girlfriends at my leisure

[Hook]

[Verse 2]
Gucci and more Gucci
Louis Vuitton and more Louis Vuitton
Fendi and more Fendi
And Prada
And I look like Madonna
But I’m rich like Ivana Trump
And I keep the drugs in the trunk
And my hand on my handgun
And I ask them to free my incarcerated friend
I am young and rich and I wear flashy clothes
If you can’t see this
You need to look on Google maps
And I will use my pearl-handled gun
To blow your head off
And while you’re on the internet
Use Google and see that
My fans follow me on Twitter
And I’m rolling up a funny cigarette
And using your bathroom to defecate in
And don’t be bitter because I’m prettier than you
I am the type of women that makes you wish
You had never met her
I edit, I direct, I am my own boss
I am elegant, and my nails are fabulous
And shiny with a gold gloss
Which means I am supreme
I am so stylish
I could give birth to style

[Hook]
Oh, and for you very average women
You know, I have rooms full of fabulous women
Whom I shall compare to naughty female dogs
They do not need Gucci, they do not need Louis Vuitton
We are incredibly stylish
Meow

------

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Original post by Eva Rinaldi

[Hook]
You cannot know the results of an experiment
If you have not endeavored to attempt it
Perhaps we could have maintained a domicile
On the continent of Africa
Envision a reality where there had been no enslavement
No ships full of slaves and thus no suffering
You may think I am delusional
But I had this vision during my nightly slumbers
And everything was black

[Verse 1]
And there was no exploitation
Of the African-American racial minority
And Caucasian males didn’t fear them
So they did not destroy them
And African-Americans were paid
For the fruits of their labor
Instead of being forced to work for free
And Caucasians and African-Americans
Built the country together, so were equal
And we were all happy together
And noted African-American scholar,
W.E.B. Dubois, wrote the constitution
And in this vision, there was no need
To repair the damage of enslavement
With reconstruction,
And we avoided the Civil War
And negative racist stereotype Little Black Sambo
Would grow up to be a member of the legal profession
And “Extra Extra” read all about it in the news
An African-American woman was voted
To be head of the Klu Klux Klan
And Malcolm X lived until he died as an old man
Martin Luther King, Jr. read Malcolm’s eulogy
And noted Caucasian racist Bill O’Reilly
Read a verse from the Quran
And President Bush sends condolences from Iran
Where Fox News reports live
That Ahmadinejad wins the Mandela Peace Prize

[Hook]

[Verse 2]
And there is no specially-constructed housing
In disadvantaged inner-city neighborhoods
To make up for the economic disparities
Caused by the legacy of institutionalized racism
And no one needs to set up antagonist phrases
Defending their own loyalty to racial standards
And no one cares how much melatonin is in your skin
Or what shade of black your complexion is
Because there is no racism
And there is no sub-genre of music based on racial struggles
And there are no drugs like crack to discuss
And there are no gangs fighting in the streets
In disadvantaged inner-city neighborhoods
And there are no disadvantaged inner-city neighborhoods
And Somalia is a vacation paradise
Fred Astaire was the first to do a cool move called the backspin
Which is normally associated with break dancing
The Rat Pack were a cool group of African-American men
That inspired the five Caucasians called the Jacksons
Noted urban musical poet Eminem fit right in
But he inspired an African-American singer to mimic him
And another singer who only sounded Caucasian
Who haled from Michigan, named 50 Cent

[Hook]

[Verse 3]
And although I know this is a phantasm
An illusion caused by the veil of sleep
I cordially invite you to question
Why you cannot create this reality during the day time
We cannot undo the past, but we can fix the future
We can do something expedient
Or we can create lasting change
We can make every woman a queen and every man a king
And ignore the color differentiations
We’ll just close our eyes until it’s all black everything
(And despite our colors, we shall then all be the same)

[Hook]

------

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Original photo by jorgemeija

I’m going to be, I’m going to be – no, really, I’m going to be
I’m going to be, I’m going to be – no, really, I’m going to be
I’m going to be, I’m going to be – no, really, I’m going to be
I’m going to be, be, be, be, seriously, I’m going to
I’m going to be, be, be, be, seriously, I’m going to
I’m going to be, be, be, be, seriously, I’m going to

[Fergie]
I’m going to be intoxicated
I’m going to be dancing to the beat of the bass
I’m going to be hanging out with my friends
I’m going to be signing all of those endorsement deals you wish you could (heehee)
I’m going to be acting in popular motion pictures
Performing one-handed flips, and I’m going to be
Sipping on alcoholic beverages because
I’m going to be swaying my hips
And you’re going to be licking your lips
I’m going to be posing in photographs
Looking really cool and stuff
I’m going to be the coolest girl (so cool)
I’m going to get high
I’m going to do…what I always do (yeah, do it, do it – all riiiight)
I’m going to, I’m going to swing my crotch this direction, (I am, I am) I’m going to, I’m going to swing my crotch that direction
This is me referring to myself – Fergie-Ferg, and I’m going to (I am) be around for a while
21st Century to infinity and beyond

I’m going to be, I’m going to be – no, really, I’m going to be
I’m going to be, I’m going to be – no, really, I’m going to be

Wealthy, darling, soon, soon, I’m going to, going to, I’m going to be
Really cool, darling, look at me
I’m going to be, I’m going to be
Successful, I’ll continue to work hard (be, be)
I’m going to be, I’m going to be – I am, I am, I’m going to be
I’m going to be, having sex with her
I am, I am, I’m going to be – I’m going to be, be, be, I am, I am going to be

[Will.I.Am]
I’m going to be metaphorically like a robot black person
I’m going to be an average dark skinned man with a deep, jazzy style
I’m going to be famous world wide
I’m going to be in Rio while simultaneously gaining affluence in Tokyo
I’m going to bask in my piles of millions of dollars
I will loan out a billion dollars with a very high interest rate so that I’ll get one trillion dollars back
I’m going to be an African American, but I won’t go bankrupt
I’m going to be a sperm bank lending out my semen
Girls are in debt because they have withdrawn too much of my sperm, but we are still having intercourse
So I don’t mind it when we are having intercourse and ruining their sex credit rate
I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m going to be wealthy
I’m going to be sick with diarrhea
When my goal is to gain fame across the globe
I’m going to be the future of the music industry
I’m going to be the sole reason you want to attend our concerts
So you can see what jewelry I’m wearing
And I’m picking out a gold one

I’m going to be inside of a dance club
Doing whatever I want to
I’m going to be opening bottles of champagne
Relaxed and living life to its fullest
Oh, let’s make this last forever
Having fun when we’re together

On and on and on-and-on-and
On and on and on and on and

I’m going to be partying hard (what?)
You guys want to gossip (but)
Why don’t you write your thoughts on a blog, sir?
Partying as if it were my job
My band and I can’t help that people like us
And all these folks surround us
Attend one of our concerts and enjoy our music
There are millions of fans so you may want to bring some binoculars to see us perform

I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m really going to be
I’m going to be living life to the fullest
I’m going to be living life to the fullest, fullest
I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m really going to be
I’m going to be living life to the fullest
I’m going to be living life to the fullest, fullest
I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m really going to be
I’m going to be living life to the fullest
I’m going to be living life to the fullest, fullest
I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m really going to be
I’m going to be living life to the fullest
I’m going to be living life to the fullest, fullest
I’m going to be…I’m going to be
I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m really going to be

[Apl.de.ap]
I’m going to be flaunting my style
My band members and I are awesome
We are on a whole other level
We are the future of music
Your mind will be blown with our energy
From the soul in our music
We send out positivity
We have travelled the world, crossed the seven seas
We provide for our families
Performing well at our concerts to earn big bucks
I’m going to go partying with my friends
Living life to the fullest, feeling carefree
Because that’s how life is supposed to be
I invite you to join in on our merriment
Celebrate like I intend on celebrating

I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m really going to be
I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m really going to be
I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m going to be, I’m really going to be

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Original photo by eastscene

[Hook]
Do not attempt to disrupt my life

[Verse 1]
I have the funds for a fancy auto
And for a fresh start in life
I want to be as wealthy as the Saudis
I want to afford artwork
I want women to weep
And tell me their deepest secrets
Tell me they cannot stand to be parted
From me
Lately I am unkind to women
I tell them I love them
But I never really mean it
I take them on dates
In my fancy Maybach auto
In neighborhoods where no one has seen one
This creates a theft risk
But it helps me to sweet talk women
This is the truth
Besides, the car is very comfortable
I have a manual drive Ferrari
That I don’t drive
I’m too busy to drive a stick shift
I’m too dang busy
And too busy making love
To an African-American woman
Woman are already warmed up for me
Before I arrive
Just like pre-heated ovens
I am enjoying these times
Things are just improving
My newest girlfriend is from my hometown
She has trouble with her parents
She has trouble with the law
I would like to take her to Paris
Away from all these issues
Luckily I am the most amazing person in Canada
So the border will probably wave us through
I can buy any life I can dream about
Everyone was surprised at my success but me
I was just waiting for it to arrive
If you don’t think it’s deserved
I will yell expletives at you

[Hook]

[Verse 2]
I buy her food from India
Fancy designer shoes
We talked about music for hours
But she never mentioned any of your names
I adore it when my competition thinks they are fabulous
Even though they are not
I love it that perhaps they are now doubting themselves
I quote the phrase “Young Money Cash Money Billionaires”
These fellows make it so hard for us to be chums
I know they are envious of me
They cannot fill my shoes
The shoes remain empty
I take the shoes off in the house
To preserve the designer carpeting
I have never seen the car you claim to drive
I have seen that model but you were not inside
I used to have five favorite musical poets
Now I think those are the only musicians left
My other favorites have deteriorated in quality
Or have passed away
People try to bring our band down
But we stay up
Just like Christmas lights that stay lit
During the summer time
If the woman next to me has an enormous butt
I will probably hand her my phone number
I throw money onto stages
Where women do exotic dancing
But now that I have people coming to the house
I would like you to put pants on
I can purchase any life I dream about
Having money is as fabulous as I was told it would be
I expect the woman at my house
Is waiting for me to come there
So she can give me sexual pleasure
And if you don’t like my success
I will yell expletives in your general direction

[Hook]

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