I’m not sure if it’s my allergies or the constant overwhelm or just being an ‘old fart’ but lately I’m feeling really pissy about being asked to flex and change.

And, for some reason this morning I got thinking about Gumby.

Gumby arrived as a regular ‘performer’ on TV screens in 1957, the year I turned 10. And, it’s not that I watched Gumby and his sidekick Pokey all that much. At age 10 I was more interested in reading ‘adult books like the copy of Harold Robbins the ‘Dream Merchants’ I filched from my dad’s bookshelf.

Yet, somehow that pea green, claymation figure keept coming to mind today. I guess it’s because Gumby seemed able to flex, bend, and stretch far and wide … something I seem both less able AND less willing to do.

Yet, as a coach, counsellor, and consultant I encourage my client’s to flex their style of leadership, of communication; to change to meet the needs of their followers, their customers, and their colleagues.

Am I a hypocrite for encouraging this?

I sure hope not. Though I sometimes feel that way. After all I sometimes fail to heed my own advice.

But, let’s get back on point.

How far should you flex and change in order to ‘work with’, to get along with, to stay in relationship with, to be with another?

When is enough, enough?

That’s a question each of has to answer for ourselves.

But, I know that for me I’m feeling less and less like I want to be as flexible, as willing to change to meet the other ‘half way’, as I used to.

Am I an old cranky puss for saying that? Maybe.

But, this I know for sure … Yes, it is important to be flexible. Yes, it is critical to ’see the other persons point of view’. Yes, it is necessary to practice empathy. And, yes it is vital to change and grow.

But, god damn it, that doesn’t mean that for you and I to do business or for you and I to work together effectively;  I have to become Gumby!

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What happens when you actually do find “work that doesn’t suck” but then … that work — part-time, full-time, or contract — chews up most or all of your energy and time?

Okay. Maybe, that’s a bit dramatic.

But, it IS how it feels to me sometimes. As much as I love my new ‘job’ as a “Cruise and Vacation Specialist” I’m finding myself  overwhelmed at least once a day,  frequently feeling  ‘behind the 8 ball’, and therefore, beating myself up for not getting everything done.

And, this, ironically or not, is the situation with several of my clients.

What about you?

Do you find that your ‘real job’ (you know that thing that you do to pay the rent)  sucks up so much time and energy that you can’t move ahead on your plans to live your dream?

So, what do you do?

Well,  here are 3 ideas I’m working on …

1. Get Clear on Your Real Priorities

One of my 30-something creative clients recently voiced a lament that went something like this, “I don’t know what to DO … I have so many ideas. What should I do?”

The “problem” with most eclectic, creatives isn’t a scarcity of ideas! It’s a lack of action and accomplishment!

My, and my clients, favourite ‘excuse’ for this is lack of time.

Sorry folks, sorry Lyle, but as the time management gurus are only too happy to point out, “we all have 168 hours a week!” It’s not the time you are given each week:  it’s how you spend it.

So, ask  yourself, as I am asking myself every morning, “What MUST I do today? What do I NEED to do today? What actions will move me closer to my dream?”

I use my answers to these questions to set my priorities for the day. And, 

2. Stay Focused On Your Priorities

Knowing your priorities is critical to your success. Even more critical is actually acting on them!

That means staying focused. Ah, but keeping focused is a very big challenge for creative eclectics.

Why? Because we are often ‘right-brain’ dominant people who live and breath ideas. Ideas stimulate and excite our neurons. And, there are a gajillion ideas coming at us every moment … oh, and people clamoring for attention!

True, other people do interrupt us … and, learning to manage interruptions is a critical skill. But, most often we are our worst enemies. Whether we are Introverts or Extraverts most of belong to online communities, subscribe to blog and news feeds, &/or just go ’surfing the Net’ looking for ideas or distraction.

And, that’s the schizo thing about being an eclectic creative: we need outside stimuli to fuel our creativity but when we get too much, or get lost in that ’stream of data’ then we don’t get a damn thing done!

So, to keep me from ‘wasting TOO much time’ being a Social Media Butterfly, I work hard at only allowing myself ’snippets’ of time on Facebook, Twitter, or in online communities. I pop in and out several times a day, stay for 10 minutes or less per visit, read the most appealing items, post a response or two, and then get back to work.

Well that’s the theory anyway. But, sometimes I get distracted! And, when I do, I try hard not to berate myself for it. And, I focus on doing My Work instead of lamenting my ‘mistakes’.

3. Stay Healthy

Staying healthy is a MUST for me.

And, it needs to be for you too.

Why?

The simple fact, as far too many have learned, is that “if you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything!” I’m finding that many of my clients, even those who are 30-something are reporting clear, unmistakable symptoms of stress overload.

So, what can you do to stay healthy?

Once you’ve made it a priority then ACTION is required. And, believe me, a once-a-week trip to the Gym isn’t what I mean.

No. A focus on healthy living means daily, even hour-to-hour attention to nutrition, exercise, and stress reduction. For me that means that first thing in the morning I go for a 5 kilometre walk. And, during the day I take time out to get up and away from my computer and stretch or I  go for a 5 or 10 minute walk in the back yard or down the block. I prepare and cook (yes, I’m the chef in the house)  healthy meals that follow the national food guide. And, I work at removing stress from my life and managing the stressors that appear in my life.

I can’t forget these daily actions … because when I do, I pay an immediate price: PAIN! You on the other hand can ‘forget’ because the price you pay takes a while to show up. But, remember the saying, “Pay me now. Or, pay me later!” And, remember that the delayed payment can be fatal.

Sermon over.

Practice these 3 strategies on a daily basis and you’ll find yourself living a more passionate, authentic life.

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Here’s what my client Steve said,

“One thing I might say (from my perspective) is that the money AIN’T easy… (If this is easy, I hate to think what hard money would be like :-0 )  and it’s not that I dislike the work itself — I quite like it.   It’s the people and the politics that make me insane. But your point is definitely well taken. “

When I used the term “Easy Money” I did not intend to infer that actually earning the money was EASY!

Let me be crystal clear! “Easy Money” is often the hardest, riskiest money to earn. It’s not “Easy Money” because of the ease with which it’s earned! It’s “Easy Money” because it’s so damn easy to continue to obtain work/employment with the same client or in the same occupational area.

In the interests of client confidentiality, let’s use my example again,  my contract work as a “Change Management” Resource, to explore what I mean.

By the Spring of 2006, I’d been employed on a contract basis for 3 years. And, I worked damn hard for the money I earned — try doing 200+ Privacy Impact Assessments some time and see how good you are at making privacy policies interesting and important to Physicians and Clinic Managers who just want to do their jobs.

I was ‘easy’ to just keep renewing my contract. I was ‘easy’ to sit back and wait for my Change Management Advisor to parcel out assignments (no marketing, no selling). I was ‘easy’ to just keep on keeping on.

Ah! But what wasn’t ‘easy’.

The dis-ease being created by doing work that did not feed my soul, in a toxic work environment.

And, that IS so often the situation I find my clients in.

YES, in their case (as it is with Steve) the work itself may be rewarding, fulfilling, engaging, and nurturing BUT — and this IS important — there is something about the work environment that is TOXIC and ultimately destructive to their body, mind, soul, and spirit!

And, that is why we need to be careful about “Easy Money”!

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Where?

Doing a ‘job’ I hated, working a contract I loathed: justified by “the money”.

When I turned 60, after spending 4 months in severe pain from my Fibromyalgia, I promised myself, “I’m not going to do work I don’t want to do. And, I’m not going to work with people I don’t want to work with!”

At the time I was working a lucrative contract as a Change Implementation Consultant. The money was great. The work was easy. But …

I wasn’t happy.

The work had become repetitive, repetitive, repetitive. And, what was worse is we were discovering that our boss’s new boss was a slimy, manipulative SOB. Long on promises; short on delivery; amazingly adept at ’slipping a knife in your back’.

Then 1 day, as I left a clinic, that little voice inside said, “Ya gotta quit this Lyle. It’s destroying your soul.”

This time I listened … 8 months previously when the same little voice told me to quit, I kept going. 1 and 1/2  months after that my Fibro kicked in: with a vengance!

So, I planned my “Exit Strategy”: subtly turning down contract assignments so I could ensure I had all my contract work complete, INVOICED, and PAID by March 31st (end of the government’s fiscal year). And, my clear intention was to simply not renew my contract when it came up for renewal April 1st.The idea was to leave quietly.

Didn’t work out that way; and the story of the ending is a fun one to be told some other time, so I can get back to the point of this post.

Lately in my coaching I’ve had several clients who are quite literally suffering illnesses, clearly connected to doing ’soul-sucking’ work and who are staying cause “the money’s easy.”

What’s been coming to my mind as I’ve thought about thier dilemmas is a visual from a Miami Vice episode: we see a man sling a bag of drugs into his Porshe; then we seem him driving the rain slicked streets of Miami to a ‘meet’, and in the background we hear the plaintive words of Glen Frey’s “Smuggler’s Blues”, “… the lure of easy money”, as the guy gets a bullet (or six) in the head.

Ya see the problem with ‘easy money’ is … well, that’s it’s alledgedly easy. There is no apparent cost. I say apparent because there IS a cost — hoo boy is there a cost!

The problem is that the cost of doing easy-money work often arrives later: in the form of physical, mental, &/or emotional problems.

Again, I know. I sometimes feel like I’m the “Poster Boy” for stupid moves.

It’s taken being gifted with not 1 but TWO chronic illnesses for me to wake up and smell the mocha cappachino. And, to really grok this 1 simple fact:

Doing work that isn’t your ‘God-given Work’ is going to kill you … sooner or later!

It’s short term gain for long term pain. It’s ‘pay me now, or pay me later.’

It’s your choice: take the easy money and wither your soul, sicken your spirit, and die. Or, take the ‘narrow road’, nurture your soul, foster your courage, sieze the day, and follow your Bliss!

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I missed them cause I was busy getting ready for the teleclinc and the new gig.

Oh, and I was also preparing to teach an Unsticking(TM) workshop to the writers who hang out at the Alberta Romance Writers Association. That one was called “Break Free … and Write!” It was yesterday and was the best!

We had a great session for the teleclinic on “How to Find Work That Doesn’t Suck” I aplogize if you weren’t on the notification list.

If you haven’t already subscribed to the mailing list for my Unsticking(TM) Teleclinics (I run 1 a month for FREE) … and if you want to get the free resources I offered after the call then …

Send a blank email to unstick-clinic@aweber.com

The audio of the April 23rd call will be posted today … provided I master the intricacies of WordPress.

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While this article focuses mainly on the phenomenon of ex-lovers monitoring their former lover’s behavior via Twitter, the article — and concerns raised by a young female client –  prompts me to talk about the importance of protecting your Internet Privacy, Security, and Confidentiality.

In a past contract position, I advised physicians, medical clinics, and their staff on privacy, security, and confidentiality. Needless to say, this is a BIG issue because these people are RESPONSIBLE for YOUR medical information. You probably don’t want certain people (lawyers) or organizations (insurance companies) to know, for example that y0u suffer from, say, Bipolar Disorder (like I do).

If I wasn’t paranoid about privacy, security, and confidentiality before I did this work (for 2 years); I sure was after I did it.

Protecting Your Privacy On the Internet

Privacy is about keeping information about you out of the hands (and eyes) of others who you deem should not be privy to that information. It can be things like your birth date or your marital status, your bank balance: basically whatever information you don’t want others to know about you.

So, what can and SHOULD you do to protect your online privacy.

Carefully read the Privacy policies of web MEMBERSHIP sites. If you can’t understand them, find someone who can! THINK carefully about your Privacy Settings.

For example, on Facebook I’ve set my Privacy Settings very tight: I only allow Friends to see photos, videos, and certain parts of my Profile. I’m also careful to NEVER post photos of my family, especially my children  (even though they are over 30) and wife.

Be very careful of any GOOGLE service you use! Even though Google aggregates data, they also ARCHIVE it FOREVER! Do you want some disgruntled ex-Googler spilling the beans about all the naughty web sites you visited; especially if you are running for public office.

DO NOT post your home address ANYWHERE on the Internet. I am constantly appalled at the number of women who list their home address on their website. NO NO NO!

In under 30 seconds I can Google Map your home address, zoom in and see your house, yard, and the cars parked near it. And, if  ‘Street View’ is available, I can see the front of houses near you and cars parked on your street.

Do you want some nut case knowing where you live?

RENT a PO Box or use a business street address — or just don’t list your address. Especially if you have children, protect them from weirdos by keeping your home address private!

Keeping Personal Information Confidential on the Internet

What is confidential information. It is information about you that bad guys could utilize to ’steal your identity’. If someone knows your birthdate, social security number, and things like your debit card PIN number, then they can steal your identity.

Identity theft is BIG business these days! Trust me: A friend had his ID stolen. It is a major pain in the butt and costly to restore your identity. The best way to prevent ID theft is to be careful about the information you share.

So, on Facebook and on other social media sites like MySpace, Biznik, LinkeIn, and LiveJournal, seriously think about NOT listing your birthday. Or, at least set your Privacy so only Friends can see your full birthday.

Never ever give anyone your Social Security number! NEVER!

Use memorable PIN numbers but DO NOT use your birth date or any  part of it. In fact, here in Canada if you use numbers from your birth date for your PIN number, the banks will NOT guarantee protection of  your account from theft.

By all means DO shop online. Consider though, doing as I have done and get a credit card with a very low credit limit and use it for online purchases.

Security On the Internet

Security is about the physical and technology based things you do to protect your data.

It includes:

- Making sure your data is BACKED UP. I once worked with a physician who lost ALL his patient BILLING data during the changeover to a new EMR software package! Not happy was he! I back up my file changes daily and my full system every 6 months.

- Making sure no one can steal your laptop or the data on it. I recently bought a Lenovo ThinkPad that has a built-in  finger print reader. Yes, that’s a bit over the top — but I am paranoid.

- Consider NOT storing data on your laptop hard drives. If you cross into the US, the INS and Homeland Security people can COPY your hard drive. So, be careful what’s on it. OH, and they can also copy any thumb drives you are carrying. Consider storing any data you need to access online, e.g. use Google Docs to give you access to your data anywhere in the world. Finally, the border ‘cuties’ can sieze your laptop, camera, and PDA! It’s a scary  world folks!

- Ensure no one can access your office based computer. Sometimes it’s just enough to ensure they can’t login. So, for example, I have my PC secured with a user ID and password.

- If you use an in home WiFi network, make sure it’s secured. There are 5 or 6 unsecured home networks within a block of my house. I know because when I had my IT guy set up our home network — and secure it — he found them!

Sounds like a lot to do!

It’s NOT … take a few minutes everyday to make sure THE BAD GUYS don’t get U or YOUR KIDS!

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FIND Full-Time or Part-Time WORK THAT DOESN’T SUCK - Step 2

First a brief review of Step 1.

Step 1 of my 3-step process essentially requires you to obtain crystal clarity about WHAT you want TO DO for a living. That is, how you want to contribute, what you want to give to the world, and what legacy you want to leave behind.

Now the idea of a legacy might seem a little “heavy” when it comes to thinking about a part-time job. But having a detailed description of your DREAM does ensure that any interim job or contract position you obtain will support your dream; not prevent it.

The detail you look for includes a clear picture of WHAT, WHO, WHERE, WHEN, WHICH, and HOW. (I’ll cover these details in my upcoming FR^EE teleclass)

Step 2: Use Your Theme(s) to Find THE Work of Your Dreams

Clarity takes time … and effort. The good news is that having any degree of clarity about your Destiny Dream^TM is valuable. Especially IF you act on that clarity and move toward your Dream - as it reveals itself to you.

So, how do you take all those apparently jumbled pieces of data about Who, What, and so on and create a Theme or Themes for your Dream?

Let’s use my Destiny Dream^TM as an example.

I’ve been crafting and using a Destiny Plan^TM to guide my life, career, and work since the early 90s. My Destiny Plan^TM has evolved to have 9 key Action Goal^TM Areas - My Health & Wellness, My Relationships, My Work, My Learning & Development, My Passions, My Sexuality, My Muse, My Spirituality, and My Societal Contribution. Naturally, your 9 Action Goal^TM Areas would likely be different from mine.

What I’ve noticed for the last several years is that, as I’ve done my Action Goal^TM Planning every January, I’ve felt this strong sense that I was missing something.

So, I began asking myself, “What do I need?” (By the way this is a critical question for an Enneagram Two - which I am - to ask themselves). Beyond the needs in my Top Three^TM Action Goal^TM Areas I kept hearing, Travel!

I’ve had a burning Passion for Travel since I was a wee lad. But, like many others, I choose to have a family early on and invested time and energy in my kids instead in trips to Europe.

Sure, whenever we could afford it we travelled: 1^st with the ex and the kids, most often camping trips throughout Alberta and British Columbia, an anniversary trip (alone with the ex) to Hawaii; work trips to New Jersey, Toronto, New Orleans, and San Jose; and following the divorce, many trips to LA/The OC, Monterey, and Palm Springs, while completing my Masters degree; and later with my current wife, trips to Nova Scotia (her home), New Brunswick, Alaska, Newfoundland, and countless camping adventures.

Yet, still it never felt like enough to slake my Travel Lust.

Then a few weeks ago during an early morning walk I saw a sign (literally), as if from God, “Wanted Part-time Cruise Consultants!” WOW!

I jumped at the chance to apply. And, the position seemed ideal: I’d be on contract not - god forbid - an employee; income was commission only - so I could make as much, or a little as I wanted; and I liked the ‘feel’ of the place.

NEXT ISSUE: Step 3: Landing the “JOB”

I love to hear from you. So, let me know what you think. Send me an e-mail or add your comment here at the blog!

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My gut reaction to the name was “wad da fa?”

Ya see, I KNOW this client very well. I know the quality and value of the work they do. I know how their work really enhances their clients’ brands.

The new name does NOT in any way shape or form convey that value and impact.

Ya see, names are kinda important and kinda not.

Way back in 1991 I was struggling with the name of my then company. When I founded it in 1985 I chose a name that fit with:

- what I wanted to DO (that is the SERVICE I wanted to deliver to clients,

- the VALUE of that service to potential clients, and

- to some degree, my implicit VISION of the destiny and ongoing impact of my work.

What was the name I chose? Innovative Learning Unlimited Inc.

When I founded the company that name was a perfect reflection of me and my work. 6 years later, my focus had shifted from delivering learning solutions (aka training) to largish corporations to being more about working with solo professionals and small businesses; delivering what I then called 1-on-1 consulting.

A friend who had just graduated with a degree in marketing suggested that I survey my breakfast group (who mirrored my prospective client base) and have them evaluate different possible names for my business.

So, I did. I did a quick pen and paper survey one morning. I told them the services I planned to offer and a bit about my value proposition and ‘brand identity’ (though at that time I didn’t know that’s what I was describing). And, I gave them 4 or 5 names to evaluate.I don’t remember all of them. I do remember that 1 of them was “Quality Management Strategies”: a name I picked because I was trying to sell TQM (Total Quality Management) consulting services.

I got a BIG surprise!

The name they rated as best describing me, what I wanted to do, and all that jazz was … you guessed it: Innovative Learning Unlimited Inc.

I surrendered to the wisdom of the customer.

Then in 1997 personal circumstances forced me to sell that company (can you say, ‘greedy’ ex-wife) and start up a new one.

At the time I founded the new company (the one ‘behind’ this blog) I picked a name that reflected my intention to market and sell Freelance Writing: FreeWord Communications.

When it became clear that I wasn’t going to be successful as a copywriter, I turned to offering coaching services. After a bit, I decided I wanted to use a name that better reflected WHAT I was doing. I chose a name that I thought got at the ‘issue’ that was at the core of my then client’s challenges: Turning Point Strategies. Ya see, clients (am me) usually came to me at a Turning Point in their work/life/career and I offered them Strategies for successfully navigating that change process.

In 2001 I joined Coachville and came under the magic spell of the late Thomas Leonard. Around that time I read Tom Peters’ classic Fast Company article, “The Brand Called YOU!” At Coachville I met the splendidly magnificent Personal Branding Coach, Andrea O’Neill. I worked with Andrea to define my Brand. Andrea will testify that it was a painful exercise for both of us.

But, that Branding work gave me some clarity on my WHO (Target Market), WHAT (Service Offering) and VALUE proposition.

Over the next 5 years, as I coached clients, tried new marketing strategies, wrote hundreds of blog posts, wrote and published my newsletter, I got feedback about my Brand Promise.

Then one day, THE NAME for my company came to me in a blinding flash!

The WHO that been so hard to articulate in 2002 was now a lot clearer. Back in 2002 I knew the kind of professional I wanted to work with. I knew a bit about the DEMOGRAPHICS of my market. And, I knew that my market was primarily defined not by its demographics (age, gender, income, occupation) but by its PSYCHOGRAPHICS (Values, Passions, etc.). Somewhere over the years after 2002, as I wrote to my imagined Ideal Client I realized that THEY were really a mirror of myself.

I grokked the fact that my Ideal Client was  someone who was Creative, Unconventional, Eclectic, Multitalented, Passionate, Ambitious (maybe even obsessed), and STUCK! And, I finally realized that WHAT I do, the unique service I offer is Unsticking(TM) people.

So, the new name of my company became … ta da .. The Unsticking(TM) Coach.

And, now when people who fit in my WHO hear that name, they respond instantly. The name RESONATES with them.

So, my dear, the key to a name that fits YOU, your OFFER, your VALUE (or Unique Selling Proposition),  and your WHO  (Ideal Client or Target Market) is to get clear on your BRAND.

So, how do you do that?

More to follow …

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I believe each of us has something important to say. And, I know that many of you are still yearning to write THE BOOK. You know the one. The one that’s going to catapult you and your business to fame!

But, if you’re like me you’ve picked at it; written a bit; and then lost focus or enthusiasm.

BUT, there’s a way out!

My friend, colleague, and Blogging Mentor Andy Wibbels is once again offering his hands-on, hold-your-feet-to-the-fire, get the damn book written in 45 days!

YES, it’s time for Andy’s Write a Book in 45 Days!

Impossible you say? Not true.

Dr. Susan Reid, who attended Andy’s seminar last spring, cranked out a draft of her book “Discovering Your Inner Samurai”, which was published last year, received National Finalist Best Book awards, and lead to her becoming a regular columnist at the American Express Forum

I’m joining Andy so he and the other participants can keep my feet to the fire and help me write a sloppy first draft of my memoir Beyond the Pain: My Journey from Trauma to Recovery.

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Last month I joined the Calgary ‘chapter’ and had a great time meeting with others who believe that it is BETTER to give first and the ask.

Find more videos like this on Greenlight Community

Here’s a short video from that event. Watch for yours truly near the end of the video. I never realized how much I use my hands when I speak!

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